Chapter I: Part 1

Transcriber's note:

Except for labels and similar, all brackets [] are
in the original.

The Augustan Reprint Society

A Learned Dissertation
on
DUMPLING
(Anonymous)
(1726)

PUDDING AND DUMPLING
_BURNT to POT_.
or,
A COMPLEAT KEY
to the
DISSERTATION ON DUMPLING
(Anonymous)
(1727)

_Introduction by_
SAMUEL L. MACEY

Publication Number 140
WILLIAM ANDREWS CLARK MEMORIAL LIBRARY
University of California, Los Angeles

1970

* * * * *
* * * *

GENERAL EDITORS

William E. Conway, _William Andrews Clark Memorial Library_
George Robert Guffey, _University of California, Los Angeles_
Maximillian E. Novak, _University of California, Los Angeles_

ASSOCIATE EDITOR

David S. Rodes, _University of California, Los Angeles_

ADVISORY EDITORS

Richard C. Boys, _University of Michigan_
James L. Clifford, _Columbia University_
Ralph Cohen, _University of Virginia_
Vinton A. Dearing, _University of California, Los Angeles_
Arthur Friedman, _University of Chicago_
Louis A. Landa, _Princeton University_
Earl Miner, _University of California, Los Angeles_
Samuel H. Monk, _University of Minnesota_
Everett T. Moore, _University of California, Los Angeles_
Lawrence Clark Powell, _William Andrews Clark Memorial Library_
James Sutherland, _University College, London_
H. T. Swedenberg, Jr., _University of California, Los Angeles_
Robert Vosper, _William Andrews Clark Memorial Library_

CORRESPONDING SECRETARY

Edna C. Davis, _William Andrews Clark Memorial Library_

EDITORIAL ASSISTANT

Roberta Medford, _William Andrews Clark Memorial Library_

INTRODUCTION

_A Learned Dissertation on Dumpling_ and its _Key_ (_Pudding and Dumpling Burnt to Pot_) are typical satiric pamphlets which grew out of the political in-fighting of the first half of the eighteenth century. The pamphlets are distinguished by the fact that the author's level of imagination and writing makes them delightful reading even today. In _Dumpling_ the author displays a considerable knowledge of cooks and cookery in London; by insinuating that to love dumpling is to love corruption, he effectively and amusingly achieves satiric indirection against a number of political and social targets, including Walpole. The _Key_ is in many ways a separate pamphlet in which Swift is the central figure under attack after his two secret visits to Walpole during 1726. _Dumpling_ had a long life for an eighteenth-century pamphlet and was published as late as 1770. Dr. F. T. Wood has even suggested that it may have influenced Lamb's _Dissertation on Roast Pig_;[1] readers might wish to test this for themselves.

_Dumpling_ and its _Key_ were first claimed for Henry Carey by Dr. Wood (pp. 442-447). Carey (1687-1743) is generally thought to have been an illegitimate scion of the powerful Savile family,[2] with whose name he christened three of his sons. He was perhaps best known as a writer of songs. "Sally in our Alley" is a classic, and he has even a tenuous claim to the authorship of the English national anthem. Carey's _Dramatic Works_ appeared in 1743, the year in which he met his death, almost certainly by his own hand. Several of the plays were successful and particular reference should be made to the burlesques _Chrononhotonthologos_ (1734) and _The Dragon of Wantley_ (1737). The latter even outran the performances of _The Beggar's Opera_ in its first year. Not only do these plays show Carey's satiric bent, but so also do a considerable number of his poems. In 1713, 1720, and 1729 Carey published three different collections of his poetry, each entitled _Poems on Several Occasions_. Although a few of the poems were repeated, almost always revised, each edition is very much a different collection. An edition was brought out in this century by Dr. Wood.[3]

I am strongly inclined to support Carey's claim to the authorship of _Dumpling_ and its _Key_ despite Dr. E. L. Oldfield's more recent attempt to invalidate it.[4] There were at least ten editions of _Dumpling_ in the eighteenth century. The first seven (1726-27) appeared during Carey's life, and these (I have seen all but the third) contain the _Namby Pamby_ verses which later appeared under Carey's own name in his enlarged _Poems on Several Occasions_ (1729). There was also a "sixth edition" of _Dumpling_ (really the eighth extant edition) in Carey's own name published "for T. Read, in Dogwell-Court, White-Friars, Fleet-Street, MDCCXLIV." Though _Namby Pamby_ was not added to the first edition of the _Key_, it appears in the second edition. Both editions were published by Mrs. Dodd, of whom Dr. Oldfield says: she "seems to have been a neighbour, and known to Carey" (p. 375). Dr. Wood indicates that "at the foot of a folio sheet containing Carey's song _Mocking is Catching_, published in 1726, the sixth edition of _A Learned Dissertation on Dumpling_ is advertised as having been lately published" (p. 442). Dr. Wood adds in a footnote that this song "appeared in _The Musical Century_ (1740) under the title _A Sorrowful Lamentation for the Loss of a Man and No Man_." Even more striking would seem to be the fact that although there are ninety-one entries in his _Poems_ (1729), Carey has placed the _Sorrowful Lamentation_ directly adjacent to _Namby Pamby_.

Dr. Wood maintains of _Dumpling_ that "the general style bears a close resemblance to that of the prefaces to Carey's plays and collections of poetry" (p. 443). I should like strongly to support his statement. Dr. Oldfield says that an inviolable regard for decency "is nowhere contradicted in Carey's works . . . . Yet the pamphlets, besides being palpably Whiggish, are larded _passim_ with vulgarity of the 'Close-Stool' and 'Clyster' variety" (p. 376). The reader need look no further than _Namby Pamby_ to see that Carey satisfies Northrop Frye's very proper observation: "Genius seems to have led practically every great satirist to become what the world calls obscene."

As for the pamphlets being "palpably Whiggish," the reader will not look far into the allegory before he realizes that one of the central attacks is against those well-known Whigs Walpole and Marlborough and their appetite for Dumpling (i.e., bribery and perquisites). Furthermore, the attack on Swift, which is central to the _Key_, is based on the very real fear that the Dean's two recent private interviews with Walpole might presage a return to that leader's Whig party in exchange for Dumpling. The last pages of the _Key_ (pp. 28-30) deal with the possibility of an accommodation between Swift and Walpole which is, I feel sure, the main target of attack. In his poems (_Poems_, ed. Wood, pp. 83, 86, 88, and _passim_) Carey claims to stand between Whig and Tory, just as he does in the pamphlets (_Dumpling_, p. 1, and _Key_, p. 15 and _passim_).

Dr. Wood perceptively points to two parallels between _Dumpling_ and the satiric _Of Stage Tyrants_ (1735) which Carey openly addressed to the Earl of Chesterfield. _Dumpling's_ "O Braund, my Patron! my Pleasure! my Pride" (p. [ii]) becomes: "O Chesterfield, my patron and my pride" (_Poems_, ed. Wood, p. 104). The passage which follows, dealing with "all the Monkey-Tricks of Rival Harlequins" (_Dumpling_, p. [ii]), becomes:

Prefer pure nature and the simple scene
To all the monkey tricks of Harlequin

(_Poems_, ed. Wood, p. 106).

Even more striking is a passage in the _Key_: "Mr. B[ooth] had spoken to Mr. W[ilks] to speak to Mr. C[ibber] . . ." (p. 111). This is similar to the following lines in _Stage Tyrants_:

Booth ever shew'd me friendship and respect,
And Wilks would rather forward than reject.
Ev'n Cibber, terror to the scribbling crew,
Would oft solicit me for something new

(_Poems_, ed. Wood, p. 104).

What is particularly impressive is that Carey not only refers to the three managers of Drury Lane but mentions them in the same order and as bearing the same relationship to himself. Several highly topical theatrical allusions in the pamphlets, by which the works can be dated, accord closely to the life, views, and writings of Carey. All three managers of Drury Lane were subscribers to Carey's _Poems on Several Occasions_ (1729), which was dedicated to the Countess of Burlington, who (like the Earl of Chesterfield) was closely related to Carey's putative family. In the _Poems_ these people and many others (including Pope) would have seen _Namby Pamby_ under Carey's name and drawn the obvious conclusion that _Namby Pamby_, _Dumpling_ and the _Key_ were by the same author.

We have already seen how closely _Dumpling_ and _Stage Tyrants_ can be tied together; the reader can compare for himself that part of _Namby Pamby_ containing "So the Nurses get by Heart / Namby Pamby's Little Rhymes," with the passage from the _Key_: "It was here the D[ean] . . . got together all his Namby Pamby . . . from the old Nurses thereabouts" (_Key_, pp. 16-17).

There exists in the Bodleian an early copy of _Namby Pamby_ (1725?) "By Capt. Gordon, Author of the Apology for Parson Alberony and the Humorist." The joke here is surely in not only letting the Whig Gordon attack the Whig Ambrose Phillips but then, also by association, connecting Gordon's name with the attack on Walpole and Marlborough. There is a parallel to this: Carey's "Lilliputian Ode on Their Majesties Succession" appeared in _Poems_ (1729), separated from the pieces previously mentioned by only one short patriotic stanza. Yet in the Huntington Library there is an almost identical version (1727) which was ostensibly published by Swift.

The first six editions of _Dumpling_ appeared in 1726 and both editions of the _Key_ are dated 1727. Apart from the dates on the title page, this can be verified externally by the initial entries in Wilford's _Monthly Catalogue_ (1723-30) of February 1726 and April 1727 respectively. Swift's first return visit to England (in March 1726 after twelve years) was subsequent to the publication of _Dumpling_; his second visit was in the same month as the publication of the _Key_, which assigns him _ex post facto_ the authorship "from Page 1. to Page 25." of _Dumpling_ (_Key_, p. ix).

Sir John Pudding and his Dumpling are manipulated throughout these pamphlets to carry a multiplicity of meaning which brings them almost as close to symbolism as they are to the allegory that Carey claims to be writing (_Key_, pp. 18, 24 and 29). Collation of _Dumpling_ with its _Key_ clearly reveals (with due allowance for satiric arabesque) a series of allegories moving backwards and forwards through history. At various stages, Sir John Pudding (ostensibly Brawn [or John Brand], the famous cook of the Rummer in Queen Street who appears in Dr. King's _Art of Cookery_ [1708]), becomes identifiable with King John, Sir John Falstaff, Walpole, Marlborough, and even Queen Anne (for the change in sexes see _Key_, p. 18). All of these enjoyed Dumpling, and their tastes are ostensibly approved while at the same time being heavily undercut with satiric indirection. Naturally enough, Walpole (although a Dumpling Eater) is treated with considerable circumspection. Carey has warned us that he is a bad chronologist (_Key_, p. 21), and the Sir John Pudding (be he Walpole or Marlborough [d. 1722]), who at the end of _Dumpling_ is referred to as "the Hero of this DUMPLEID," is for good reason spoken of in the past tense.

The fable of Dumpling, in the true spirit of _lanx satura_, allows Carey to attack by indirection a complete spectrum of traditional eighteenth-century targets. Like the musician and the satirist that he is, he builds up to a magnificent crescendo (pp. 19-24 of his "Dumpleid") which results in one of the finest displays of sustained virtuosity in early eighteenth-century pamphlet writing.

The notes which follow the texts point to a number of the contemporary allusions, but the reader will surely wish to recognize some of the references and the more delicate ironies for himself. As the author puts it on page 17 of _Dumpling_:

O wou'd to Heav'n this little Attempt of Mine may stir up some _Pudding-headed Antiquary_ to dig his Way through all the mouldy Records of Antiquity, and bring to Light the Noble Actions of Sir _John_!

What scholar could refuse?

University of Victoria

NOTES TO THE INTRODUCTION

1. "An Eighteenth-Century Original for Lamb," _RES_, V (1929), 447.

2. An exception is Henry J. Dane who denies the relationship in "The Life and Works of Henry Carey," unpublished doctoral dissertation (University of Pennsylvania, 1967), pp. xxix-xxx, and _passim_.

3. _Poems_, ed. F. T. Wood (London, 1930).

4. "Henry Carey (1687-1743) and Some Troublesome Attributions," _BNYPL_, LXII (1968), 372-377.

BIBLIOGRAPHICAL NOTE

These facsimiles of _A Learned Dissertation on Dumpling_ (1726) and _Pudding and Dumpling Burnt to Pot_ (1727) are reproduced from copies in the Bodleian Library and the British Museum.

* * * * *
* * * *
* * * * *

A
Learned Dissertation
on
DUMPLING;

Its Dignity, Antiquity, and Excellence.

With a Word upon
PUDDING.

And

Many other Useful Discoveries, of
great Benefit to the Publick.

_Quid Farto melius?
Huic suam agnoscit corpus energiam,
Suam aciem mens: ------------
---- Hinc adoleverunt praestantissimi,
Hi Fartophagi in Reipublicae commodum._

_Mab._ de Fartophagis, _lib._ iii. _cap._ 2.

_LONDON._

Printed for _J. Roberts_ in the _Oxford-Arms_-Passage,
_Warwick-lane_; and Sold by the Booksellers of
_London_ and _Westminster_. 1726. [Price 6 _d._]

[Decoration]

TO
Mr. BRAUND.

SIR,

Let Mercenary _Authors_ flatter the Great, and subject their Principle to Interest and Ambition, I scorn such sordid Views; You only are Eminent in my Eyes: On You I look as the most Useful Member in a Body-Politic, and your Art far superior to all others: Therefore,

_Tu mihi Mecaenas Eris!_

O BRAUND, my Patron! my Pleasure! my Pride! disdain not to grace my Labours with a kind Perusal. Suspend a-while your more momentous Cares, and condescend to taste this little _Fricassee_ of Mine.

I write not this, to Bite you by the Ear, (_i.e._) flatter you out of a Brace or two of Guinea's: No; as I am a true _Dumpling Eater_, my Views are purely _Epicurean_, and my utmost Hopes center'd in partaking of some elegant _Quelque Chose_ tost up by your judicious Hand. I regard Money but as a Ticket which admits me to your Delicate Entertainments; to me much more Agreeable than all the Monkey-Tricks of Rival _Harlequins_, or _Puppet-Show_ Finery of Contending _Theatres_.

The Plague and fatigue of Dependance and Attendance, which call me so often to the Court-end of the Town, were insupportable, but for the Relief I find at AUSTIN's, your Ingenious and Grateful Disciple, who has adorn'd _New Bond-street_ with your Graceful _Effigies_. Nor can he fail of Custom who has hung out a Sign so Alluring to all true _Dumpling-Eaters_. Many a time and oft have I gaz'd with Pleasure on your Features, and trac'd in them the exact Lineaments of your glorious Ancestor Sir JOHN BRAND, vulgarly call'd Sir JOHN PUDDING.

Tho' the Corruption of our _English_ Orthography indulges some appearance of Distinction between BRAND and BRAUND, yet in Effect they are one and the same thing. The ancient Manor of BRAND's, alias BRAUND's, near Kilburn in _Middlesex_, was the very Manor-House of Sir JOHN BRAND, and is call'd BRAND's to this Day, altho' at present it be in the Possession of the Family of MARSH.

What Honours are therefore due to One who is in a Direct Male Line, an Immediate Descendant from the Loins of that Great Man! Let this teach You to value your Self; this remind the World, how much they owe to the Family of the BRAUNDS; more particularly to YOU, who inherit not only the Name, but the Virtues of your Illustrious Ancestor. I am,

SIR,

With all imaginable
Esteem and Gratitude,
Your very most
Obedient Servant, _&c._

Page 5. line 15, _&c._ for _Barnes_ read _Brand_.

[Decoration]

A

Learned Dissertation

on

DUMPLING;

Its Dignity, Antiquity, _&c._

The Dumpling-Eaters are a Race sprung partly from the old _Epicurean_, and partly from the _Peripatetic Sect_; they were brought first into _Britain_ by _Julius Cesar_; and finding it a Land of Plenty, they wisely resolv'd never to go Home again. Their Doctrines are Amphibious, and compos'd _Party per Pale_ of the two Sects before-mention'd; from the _Peripatetics_, they derive their Principle of Walking, as a proper Method to digest a Meal, or create an Appetite; from the _Epicureans_, they maintain that all Pleasures are comprehended in good Eating and Drinking: And so readily were their Opinions embrac'd, that every Day produc'd many Proselytes; and their Numbers have from Age to Age increas'd prodigiously, insomuch that our whole Island is over-run with them, at present. Eating and Drinking are become so Customary among us that we seem to have entirely forgot, and laid aside the old Fashion of Fasting: Instead of having Wine sold at Apothecaries Shops, as formerly, every Street has two or three Taverns in it, least these Dumpling-Eaters should faint by the Way; nay, so zealous are they in the Cause of _Bacchus_, that one of the Chief among 'em has made a Vow never to say his Prayers 'till he has a Tavern of _his own_ in every Street in _London_, and in every Market-Town in _England_. What may we then in Time expect? Since by insensible Degrees, their Society is become so numerous and formidable, that they are without Number; other Bodies have their Meetings, but where can the Dumpling-Eaters assemble? what Place large enough to contain 'em! The _Bank_, _India_, and _South-Sea_ Companies have their General Courts, the _Free-Masons_ and the _Gormogons_ their Chapters; nay, our Friends the _Quakers_ have their Yearly Meetings. And who would imagine any of these should be Dumpling-Eaters? But thus it is, the Dumpling-Eating Doctrine has so far prevailed among 'em, that they eat not only Dumplings, but _Puddings_, and those in no small Quantities.

The Dumpling is indeed, of more antient Institution, and of _Foreign_ Origin; but alas, what were those Dumplings? nothing but a few Lentils sodden together, moisten'd and cemented with a little seeth'd Fat, not much unlike our Gritt or Oatmeal Pudding; yet were they of such Esteem among the ancient _Romans_, that a Statue was erected to _Fulvius Agricola_, the first Inventor of these Lentil Dumplings. How unlike the Gratitude shewn by the Publick to our Modern Projectors!

The _Romans_, tho' our Conquerors, found themselves much out-done in Dumplings by our Fore-fathers; the _Roman_ Dumplings were no more to compare to those made by the _Britons_, than a Stone-Dumpling is to a Marrow Pudding; tho' indeed, the _British_ Dumpling at that time, was little better than what we call a Stone-Dumpling, being no thing else but Flour and Water: But every Generation growing wiser and wiser, the Project was improv'd, and Dumpling grew to be Pudding: One Projector found Milk better than Water; another introduc'd Butter; some added Marrow, others Plumbs; and some found out the Use of Sugar; so that, to speak Truth, we know not where to fix the Genealogy or Chronology of any of these Pudding Projectors, to the Reproach of our Historians, who eat so much Pudding, yet have been so Ungrateful to the first Professors of this most noble Science, as not to find 'em a Place in History.

The Invention of Eggs was merely accidental, two or three of which having casually roll'd from off a Shelf into a Pudding which a good Wife was making, she found herself under a Necessity either of throwing away her Pudding, or letting the Eggs remain, but concluding from the innocent Quality of the Eggs, that they would do no Hurt, if they did no Good. She wisely jumbl'd 'em all together, after having carefully pick'd out the Shells; the Consequence is easily imagined, the Pudding became a Pudding of Puddings; and the Use of Eggs from thence took its Date. The Woman was sent for to Court to make Puddings for King _John_, who then sway'd the Scepter; and gain'd such Favour, that she was the making of her whole Family. I cannot conclude this Paragraph without owning, I received this important Part of the History of Pudding from old Mr. _Lawrence_ of _Wilsden-Green_, the greatest Antiquary of the present Age.

From that Time the _English_ became so famous for Puddings, that they are call'd Pudding-Eaters all over the World, to this Day.

At her Demise, her Son was taken into Favour, and made the King's chief Cook; and so great was his Fame for Puddings, that he was call'd _Jack Pudding_ all over the Kingdom, tho' in Truth, his real Name was _John Brand_, as by the Records of the Kitchen you will find: This _John Brand_, or _Jack-Pudding_, call him which you please, the _French_ have it _Jean Boudin_, for his Fame had reached _France_, whose King would have given the World to have had our _Jack_ for his Pudding-Maker. This _Jack Pudding_, I say, became yet a greater Favourite than his Mother, insomuch that he had the King's Ear as well as his Mouth at Command; for the King, you must know, was a mighty Lover of Pudding; and _Jack_ fitted him to a Hair, he knew how to make the most of a Pudding; no Pudding came amiss to him, he would make a Pudding out of a Flint-stone, comparatively speaking. It is needless to enumerate the many sorts of Pudding he made, such as Plain Pudding, Plumb Pudding, Marrow Pudding, Oatmeal Pudding, Carrot Pudding, Saucesage Pudding, Bread Pudding, Flower Pudding, Suet Pudding, and in short, every Pudding but Quaking Pudding, which was solely invented by, and took its Name from our Good Friends of the _Bull and Mouth_ before mentioned, notwithstanding the many Pretenders to that Projection.

But what rais'd our Hero most in the Esteem of this Pudding-eating Monarch, was his Second Edition of Pudding, he being the first that ever invented the Art of Broiling Puddings, which he did to such Perfection, and so much to the King's likeing, (who had a mortal Aversion to Cold Pudding,) that he thereupon instituted him Knight of the Gridiron, and gave him a Gridiron of Gold, the Ensign of that Order, which he always wore as a Mark of his Sovereign's Favour; in short, _Jack Pudding_, or Sir _John_, grew to be all in all with good King _John_; he did nothing without him, they were Finger and Glove; and, if we may believe Tradition, our very good Friend had no small Hand in the _Magna Charta_. If so, how much are all _Englishmen_ indebted to him? in what Repute ought the Order of the Gridiron to be, which was instituted to do Honour to this Wonderful Man? But alas! how soon is Merit forgot? how impudently do the Vulgar turn the most serious Things into Ridicule, and mock the most solemn Trophies of Honour? for now every Fool at a Fair, or Zany at a Mountebank's Stage, is call'd _Jack Pudding_, has a Gridiron at his Back, and a great Pair of Spectacles at his Buttocks, to ridicule the most noble Order of the Gridiron. But their Spectacles is a most ungrateful Reflection on the Memory of that great Man, whose indefatigable Application to his Business, and deep Study in that occult Science, rendred him Poreblind; to remedy which Misfortune, he had always a 'Squire follow'd him, bearing a huge Pair of Spectacles to saddle his Honour's Nose, and supply his much-lamented Defect of Sight. But whether such an Unhappiness did not deserve rather Pity than Ridicule, I leave to the Determination of all good Christians: I cannot but say, it raises my Indignation, when I see these Paunch-gutted Fellows usurping the Title and Atchievements of my dear Sir _John_, whose Memory I so much venerate, I cannot always contain my self. I remember, to my Cost, I once carry'd my Resentment a little farther than ordinary; in furiously assaulting one of those Rascals, I tore the Gridiron from his Back, and the Spectacles from his A--e; for which I was Apprehended, carried to Pye-powder Court, and by that tremendous Bench, sentenc'd to most severe Pains and Penalties.

This has indeed a little tam'd me, insomuch that I keep my Fingers to my self, but at the same time let my Tongue run like a Devil: Forbear vile Miscreants, cry I, where-e'er I meet these Wretches? forbear to ascribe to your selves the Name and Honours of Sir _John Pudding_? content your selves with being _Zanies_, _Pickled-Herrings_, _Punchionellos_, but dare not scandalize the noble Name of _Pudding_: Nor can I, notwithstanding the Clamours and Ill Usage of the Vulgar, refrain bearing my Testimony against this manifest piece of Injustice.

What Pity it is therefore, so noble an Order should be lost, or at least neglected. We have had no Account of the real Knights of the Gridiron, since they appeared under the fictitious Name of the _Kit-Kat Club_: In their Possession was the very Gridiron of Gold worn by Sir _John_ himself; which Identical Gridiron dignified the Breast of the most ingenious Mr. _Richard Estcourt_ that excellent Physician and Comedian, who was President of that Noble Society.

_Quis talia fando temperet a Lachrymis?_

What is become of the Gridiron, or of the Remains of that excellent Body of Men, Time will, I hope, discover. The World, I believe, must for such Discoveries be obliged to my very good Friend _J---- T----_ Esq; who had the Honour to be Door-keeper to that Honourable Assembly.

But to return to Sir _John_: The more his Wit engaged the King, the more his Grandeur alarm'd his Enemies, who encreas'd with his Honours. Not but the Courtiers caress'd him to a Man, as the first who had brought Dumpling-eating to Perfection. King _John_ himself lov'd him entirely; being of _Cesar_'s Mind, that is, he had a natural Antipathy against Meagre, Herring-gutted Wretches; he lov'd only _Fat-headed Men, and such who slept o' Nights_; and of such was his whole Court compos'd. Now it was Sir _John_'s Method, every _Sunday_ Morning, to give the Courtiers a Breakfast, which Breakfast was every Man his Dumpling and Cup of Wine; for you must know, he was Yeoman of the Wine-Cellar at the same time.

This was a great Eye-sore and Heart-burning to some Lubberly Abbots who loung'd about the Court; they took it in great Dudgeon they were not Invited, and stuck so close to his Skirts, that they never rested 'till they Outed him. They told the King, who was naturally very Hasty, that Sir _John_ made-away with his Wine, and feasted his Paramours at his Expence; and not only so, but that they were forming a Design against his Life, which they in Conscience ought to discover: That Sir _John_ was not only an Heretic, but an Heathen; nay worse, they fear'd he was a Witch, and that he had bewitcht His Majesty into that unaccountable Fondness for a _Pudding-Maker_. They assur'd the King, That on a _Sunday_ Morning, instead of being at Mattins, he and his Trigrimates got together Hum-jum, all snug, and perform'd many Hellish and Diabolical Ceremonies. In short, they made the King believe that the Moon was made of Green-Cheese: And to shew how the Innocent may be Bely'd, and the best Intentions misrepresented, they told the King, That He and his Associates offer'd Sacrifices to _Ceres_: When, alas, it was only the Dumplings they eat. The Butter which was melted and pour'd over them, these vile Miscreants call'd _Libations_: And the friendly Compotations of our Dumpling-eaters, were call'd _Bacchanalian Rites_. Two or three among 'em being sweet-tooth'd, wou'd strew a little Sugar over their Dumplings; this was represented as an _Heathenish Offering_. In short, not one Action of theirs, but what these Rascally Abbots made Criminal, and never let the King alone 'till poor Sir _John_ was Discarded. Not but the King did it with the greatest Reluctance; but they had made it a Religious Concern, and he cou'd not get off on't.

But mark the Consequence: The King never enjoy'd himself after, nor was it long before he was poison'd by a Monk at _Swineshead_ Abbey. Then too late he saw his Error; then he lamented the Loss of Sir _John_; and in his latest Moments wou'd cry out, Oh! that I had never parted from my dear _Jack Pudding_! Wou'd I had never left off Pudding and Dumpling! I then had never been thus basely Poison'd! never thus treacherously sent out of the World!----Thus did this good King lament: But, alas, to no Purpose, the Priest had given him his Bane, and Complaints were ineffectual.

Sir _John_, in the mean time, had retir'd into _Norfolk_, where his diffusive Knowledge extended it self for the Good of the County in general; and from that very Cause _Norfolk_ has ever since been so famous for Dumplings. He lamented the King's Death to his very last; and was so cautious of being poison'd by the Priests, that he never touch'd a Wafer to the Day of his Death; And had it not been that some of the less-designing part of the Clergy were his intimate Friends, and eat daily of his Dumplings, he had doubtless been Made-away with; but they stood in the Gap for him, for the sake of his Dumplings, knowing that when Sir _John_ was gone, they should never have the like again.

But our facetious Knight was too free of his Talk to be long secure; for a Hole was pick'd in his Coat in the succeeding Reign, and poor Sir _John_ had all his Goods and Chattels forfeited to the King's Use. It was then time for him to bestir himself; and away to Court he goes, to recover his Lands, _&c._ not doubting but he had Friends there sufficient to carry his Cause.

But alas! how was he mistaken; not a Soul there knew him; the very Porters used him rudely. In vain did he seek for Access to the King, to vindicate his Conduct. In vain did he claim Acquaintance with the Lords of the Court; and reap up old Civilities, to remind 'em of former Kindness; the Pudding was eat, the Obligation was over: Which made Sir _John_ compose that excellent Proverb, _Not a word of the Pudding_. And finding all Means ineffectual, he left the Court in a great Pet; yet not without passing a severe Joke upon 'em, in his way, which was this; He sent a Pudding to the King's Table, under the Name of a _Court-Pudding_, or _Promise-Pudding_. This Pudding he did not fail to set off with large Encomiums; assuring the King, That therein he wou'd find an Hieroglyphical Definition of Courtiers Promises and Friendship.

This caused some Speculation; and the King's Physician debarr'd the King from tasting the Pudding, not knowing but that Sir _John_ had poison'd it.

But how great a Fit of Laughter ensu'd, may be easily guess'd, when the Pudding was cut up, it prov'd only a large Bladder, just clos'd over with Paste: The Bladder was full of Wind, and nothing else, excepting these Verses written in a Roll of Paper, and put in, as is suppos'd, before the Bladder was blown full:

As Wynde in a Bladdere ypent,
is Lordings promyse and ferment;
fain what hem lust withouten drede,
they bene so double in her falshede:
For they in heart can think ene thing,
and fain another in her speaking:
and what was sweet and apparent,
is smaterlich, and eke yshent.
and when of service you have nede,
pardie he will not rein nor rede.
but when the Symnel it is eten,
her curtesse is all foryetten.

This Adventure met with various Constructions from those at Table: Some Laugh'd; others Frown'd. But the King took the Joke by the right End, and Laugh'd outright.

The Verses, tho' but scurvy ones in themselves, yet in those Days pass'd for tolerable: Nay, the King was mightily pleas'd with 'em, and play'd 'em off on his Courtiers as Occasion serv'd; he wou'd stop 'em short in the middle of a flattering Harangue, and cry, _Not a Word of the Pudding_. This wou'd daunt and mortify 'em to the last degree; they curs'd Sir _John_ a thousand times over for the Proverb's sake: but to no Purpose; for the King gave him a private Hearing: In which he so well satisfy'd His Majesty of his Innocence and Integrity, that all his Lands were restor'd. The King wou'd have put him in his old Post; but he modestly declin'd it, but at the same time presented His Majesty with a Book of most excellent Receipts for all kinds of Puddings: Which Book His Majesty receiv'd with all imaginable Kindness, and kept it among his greatest Rarities.

But yet, as the best Instructions, tho' never so strictly followed, may not be always as successfully executed, so not one of the King's Cooks cou'd make a Pudding like Sir _John_; nay, tho' he made a Pudding before their Eyes, yet they out of the very same Materials could not do the like. Which made his old Friends the Monks attribute it to Witchcraft, and it was currently reported the Devil was his Helper. But good King _Harry_ was not to be fobb'd off so; the Pudding was good, it sate very well on his Stomach, and he eat very savourly, without the least Remorse of Conscience.

In short, Sir _John_ grew in Favour in spite of their Teeth: The King lov'd a merry Joke; and Sir _John_ had always his Budget full of Punns, Connundrums and Carrawitchets; not to forgot the Quibbles and Fly-flaps he play'd against his Adversaries, at which the King has laugh'd 'till his Sides crackt.

Sir _John_, tho' he was no very great Scholar, yet had a happy way of Expressing himself: He was a Man of the most Engaging Address, and never fail'd to draw Attention: Plenty and Good-Nature smil'd in his Face; his Muscles were never distorted with Anger or Contemplation, but an eternal Smile drew up the Corners of his Mouth; his very Eyes laugh'd; and as for his Chin it was three-double, a-down which hung a goodly Whey-colour'd Beard shining with the Drippings of his Luxury; for you must know he was a great Epicure, and had a very Sensible Mouth; he thought nothing too-good for himself, all his Care was for his Belly; and his Palate was so exquisite, that it was the perfect Standard of Tasting. So that to him we owe all that is elegant in Eating: For Pudding was not his only Talent, he was a great Virtuoso in all manner of Eatables; and tho' he might come short of _Lambert_ for Confectionary-Niceties, yet was he not inferiour to _Brawnd_, _Lebec_, _Pede_, or any other great Masters of Cookery; he could toss up a Fricassee as well as a Pancake: And most of the Kickshaws now in vogue, are but his Inventions, with other Names; for what we call _Fricassees_, he call'd _Pancakes_; as, a Pancake of Chickens, a Pancake of Rabbets, _&c._ Nay, the _French_ call a Pudding an _English_ Fricassee, to this Day.

We value our selves mightily for Roasting a Hare with a Pudding in its Belly; when alas he has roasted an Ox with a Pudding in his Belly. There was no Man like him for Invention and Contrivance: And then for Execution, he spar'd no Labour and Pains to compass his magnanimous Designs.

O wou'd to Heav'n this little Attempt of Mine may stir up some _Pudding-headed Antiquary_ to dig his Way through all the mouldy Records of Antiquity, and bring to Light the Noble Actions of Sir _John_! It will not then be long before we see him on the Stage. Sir _John Falstaffe_ then will be a Shrimp to Sir _John Pudding_, when rais'd from Oblivion and reanimated by the All-Invigorating Pen of the Well-Fed, Well-Read, Well-Pay'd _C-- J----_ Esq; Nor wou'd this be all; for the Pastry-Cooks wou'd from the Hands of an eminent Physician and Poet receive whole Loads of Memorandums, to remind 'em of the Gratitude due to Sir _John_'s Memory.

On such a Subject I hope to see Sir _Richard_ Out-do himself. Nor _Arthur_ nor _Eliza_ shall with Sir _John_ compare. There is not so much difference between a Telescope and a Powder-Puff, a Hoop-Petty-Coat and a Farthing-Candle, a Birch-Broom and a Diamond-Ring, as there will be between the former Writings of this pair of Poets and their Lucubrations on this Head.

Nor will it stop here: The _Opera_ Composers shall have t'other Contest, which shall best sing-forth his Praises. Sorry am I that _Nicolino_ is not here, he would have made an excellent Sir _John_. But _Senefino_, being blown up after the manner that Butchers blow Calves, may do well enough. From thence the Painters and Print-sellers shall retail his goodly Phiz; and what _Sacheverel_ was, shall Sir _John Pudding_ be; his Head shall hang Elate on every Sign, his Fame shall ring in every Street, and _Cluer_'s Press shall teem with Ballads to his Praise. This would be but Honour, this would be but Gratitude, from a Generation so much indebted to so Great a Man.

But how much do we deviate from Honour and Gratitude, when we put other Names to his Inventions, and call 'em our own? What is a Tart, a Pie, or a Pasty, but Meat or Fruit enclos'd in a Wall or Covering of Pudding. What is a Cake, but a Bak'd Pudding; or a _Christmas_-Pie, but a Minc'd-Meat-Pudding. As for Cheese-cakes, Custards, Tansies, they are manifest Puddings, and all of Sir _John_'s own Contrivance; for Custard is as old if not older than _Magna Charta_. In short, Pudding is of the greatest Dignity and Antiquity. Bread it self, which is the very Staff of Life, is, properly speaking, a Bak'd Wheat-Pudding.

To the Satchel, which is the Pudding-Bag of Ingenuity, we are indebted for the greatest Men in Church and State. All Arts and Sciences owe their Original to Pudding or Dumpling. What is a Bag-Pipe, the Mother of all Music, but a Pudding of Harmony. And what is Music it self, but a Palatable Cookery of Sounds. To little Puddings or Bladders of Colours we owe all the choice Originals of the Greatest Painters: And indeed, what is Painting, but a well-spread Pudding, or Cookery of Colours.

The Head of Man is like a Pudding: And whence have all Rhimes, Poems, Plots and Inventions sprang, but from that same Pudding. What is Poetry, but a Pudding of Words. The Physicians, tho' they cry out so much against Cooks and Cookery, yet are but Cooks themselves; with this difference only, the Cooks Pudding lengthens Life, the Physicians shortens it. So that we Live and Die by Pudding. For what is a Clyster, but a Bag-Pudding; a Pill, but a Dumpling; or a Bolus, but a Tansy, tho' not altogether so Toothsome. In a word; Physick is only a Puddingizing or Cookery of Drugs. The Law is but a Cookery of Quibbles and Contentions. [a] * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * is but a Pudding of * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *. Some swallow every thing whole and unmix'd; so that it may rather be call'd a Heap, than a Pudding. Others are so Squeamish, the greatest Mastership in Cookery is requir'd to make the Pudding Palatable: The Suet which others gape and swallow by Gobs, must for these puny Stomachs be minced to Atoms; the Plums must be pick'd with the utmost Care, and every Ingredient proportion'd to the greatest Nicety, or it will never go down.

[Footnote a: _The Cat run away with this part
of the Copy, on which the Author had unfortunately
laid some of Mother _Crump_'s Sausages._]

The Universe it self is but a Pudding of Elements. Empires, Kingdoms, States and Republicks are but Puddings of People differently made up. The Celestial and Terrestrial Orbs are decypher'd to us by a pair of Globes or Mathematical Puddings.

The Success of War and Fate of Monarchies are entirely dependant on Puddings and Dumplings: For what else are Cannon-Balls, but Military Puddings; or Bullets, but Dumplings; only with this difference, they do not sit so well on the Stomach as a good Marrow-Pudding or Bread-Pudding.

In short, There is nothing valuable in Nature, but what, more or less, has an Allusion to Pudding or Dumpling. Why then should they be held in Disesteem? Why should Dumpling-Eating be ridicul'd, or Dumpling-Eaters derided? Is it not Pleasant and Profitable? Is it not Ancient and Honourable? Kings, Princes, and Potentates have in all Ages been Lovers of Pudding. Is it not therefore of Royal Authority? Popes, Cardinals, Bishops, Priests and Deacons have, Time out of Mind, been great Pudding-Eaters: Is it not therefore a Holy and Religious Institution? Philosophers, Poets, and Learned Men in all Faculties, Judges, Privy-Councellors, and Members of both Houses, have, by their great Regard to Pudding, given a Sanction to it that nothing can efface. Is it not therefore Ancient, Honourable, and Commendable?

_Quare itaque fremuerunt Auctores?_

Why do therefore the Enemies of good Eating, the Starve-gutted Authors of Grub-street, employ their impotent Pens against Pudding and Pudding-headed, _alias_ Honest Men? Why do they inveigh against Dumpling-Eating which is the Life and Soul of Good-fellowship, and Dumpling-Eaters who are the Ornaments of Civil Society.

But, alas! their Malice is their own Punishment. The Hireling Author of a late scandalous Libel, intituled, _The Dumpling-Eaters Downfall_, may, if he has any Eyes, now see his Error, in attacking so Numerous, so August a Body of People: His Books remain Unsold, Unread, Unregarded; while this Treatise of Mine shall be Bought by all who love Pudding or Dumpling; to my Bookseller's great Joy, and my no small Consolation. How shall I Triumph, and how will that Mercenary Scribbler be Mortify'd, when I have sold more Editions of my Books, than he has Copies of his! I therefore exhort all People, Gentle and Simple, Men, Women and Children, to Buy, to Read, to Extol these Labours of Mine, for the Honour of Dumpling-Eating. Let them not fear to defend every Article; for I will bear them Harmless: I have Arguments good store, and can easily Confute, either Logically, Theologically, or Metaphysically, all those who dare Oppose me.

Let not _Englishmen_ therefore be asham'd of the Name of _Pudding-Eaters_; but, on the contrary, let it be their Glory. For let Foreigners cry out ne'er so much against Good Eating, they come easily into it when they have been a little while in our _Land of Canaan_; and there are very few Foreigners among as who have not learn'd to make as great a Hole in a good Pudding or Sirloin of Beef as the best _Englishman_ of us all.

Why shou'd we then be Laught out of Pudding and Dumpling? or why Ridicul'd out of Good Living? Plots and Politics may hurt us, but Pudding cannot. Let us therefore adhere to Pudding, and keep our selves out of Harm's Way; according to the Golden Rule laid down by a celebrated Dumpling-Eater now defunct;

_Be of your Patron's Mind, whate'er he says:
Sleep very much; Think little, and Talk less:
Mind neither Good nor Bad, nor Right nor Wrong;
But Eat your Pudding, Fool, and Hold your Tongue._
PRIOR.

The Author of these excellent Lines not only shews his Wisdom, but his Good-Breeding, and great Esteem for the Memory of Sir _John_, by giving his _Poem_ the Title of _Merry Andrew_, and making _Merry Andrew_ the principal Spokesman: For if I guess aright, and surely I guess not wrong, his main Design was, to ascertain the Name of _Merry Andrew_ to the _Fool_ of a Droll, and to substitute it instead of _Jack Pudding_; which Name my Friend _Matt._ cou'd not hear with Temper, as carrying with it an oblique Reflection on Sir _John Pudding_ the Hero of this DUMPLEID.

Let all those therefore who have any Regard to Politeness and Propriety of Speech, take heed how they Err against this Rule laid down by him who was the Standard of _English_ Elegance. And be it known to all whom it may concern, That if any Person whatever shall dare hereafter to apply the Name of _Jack Pudding_ to _Merry Andrews_ and such-like Creatures, I hereby Require and Impower any Stander or Standers by, to Knock him, her, or them down. And if any Action or Actions of Assault and Battery shall be brought against any Person or Persons so acting in pursuance of this most reasonable Request, by Knocking down, Bruising, Beating, or otherwise Demolishing such Offenders; I will Indemnify and bear them Harmless.

_FINIS._

[Decoration]

* * * * *
* * * *

[Decoration]

_Namby Pamby_:

or,

A PANEGYRIC on the
New VERSIFICATION
Address'd to
_A---- P----_ Esq;

_Nauty Pauty _Jack-a-Dandy_
Stole a Piece of Sugar-Candy
From the Grocer's Shoppy-shop,
And away did Hoppy-hop._

All ye Poets of the Age,
All ye Witlings of the Stage,
Learn your Jingles to reform;
Crop your Numbers, and conform:
Let your little Verses flow
Gently, sweetly, Row by Row:
Let the Verse the Subject fit;
Little Subject, Little Wit:
_Namby Pamby_ is your Guide;
_Albion_'s Joy, _Hibernia_'s Pride.
_Namby Pamby Pilli-pis_,
Rhimy pim'd on Missy-Miss;
_Tartaretta Tartaree_
From the Navel to the Knee;
That her Father's Gracy-Grace
Might give him a Placy-Place.
He no longer writes of Mammy
_Andromache_ and her Lammy
Hanging panging at the Breast
Of a Matron most distrest.
Now the Venal Poet sings
Baby Clouts, and Baby Things,
Baby Dolls, and Baby Houses,
Little Misses, Little Spouses;
Little Play-Things, Little Toys,
Little Girls, and Little Boys:
As an Actor does his Part,
So the Nurses get by Heart
_Namby Pamby_'s Little Rhimes,
Little Jingle, Little Chimes,
To repeat to Little Miss,
Piddling Ponds of Pissy-Piss;
Cacking packing like a Lady,
Or Bye-bying in the Crady.
_Namby Pamby_ ne'er will die
While the Nurse sings _Lullabye_.
_Namby Pamby_'s doubly Mild,
Once a Man, and twice a Child;
To his Hanging-Sleeves restor'd;
Now he foots it like a Lord;
Now he Pumps his little Wits; }
Sh--ing Writes, and Writing Sh--s, }
All by little tiny Bits. }
Now methinks I hear him say, }
_Boys and Girls, Come out to Play, }
Moon do's shine as bright as Day._ }
Now my _Namby Pamby_'s found
Sitting on the _Friar's Ground_,
_Picking Silver, picking Gold_,
_Namby Pamby_'s never Old.
_Bally-Cally_ they begin,
_Namby Pamby_ still keeps-in.
_Namby Pamby_ is no Clown,
_London-Bridge is broken down_:
Now he _courts the gay Ladee,
Dancing o'er the Lady-Lee_:
Now he sings of _Lick-spit Liar
Burning in the Brimstone Fire;
Lyar, Lyar, Lick-spit, lick,
Turn about the Candle-stick_:
Now he sings of _Jacky Horner_
_Sitting in the Chimney corner,
Eating of a Christmas-Pie,
Putting in his Thumb, _Oh, fie!_
Putting in, _Oh, fie!_ his Thumb,
Pulling out, _Oh, strange!_ a Plum._
And again, how _Nancy Cock_,
Nasty Girl! _besh-t her Smock_.
Now he acts the _Grenadier_,
Calling for _a Pot of Beer_:
_Where's his Money? He's forgot;
Get him gone, a Drunken Sot._
Now on _Cock-horse_ does he ride;
And anon on Timber stride.
_See-and-Saw and Sacch'ry down,
London is a gallant Town._
Now he gathers Riches in
Thicker, faster, Pin by Pin;
_Pins a-piece to see his Show_;
Boys and Girls flock Row by Row;
From their Cloaths the Pins they take,
Risque a Whipping for his sake;
From their Frocks the Pins they pull,
To fill _Namby_'s Cushion full.
So much Wit at such an Age,
Does a Genius great presage.
Second Childhood gone and past,
Shou'd he prove a Man at last,
What must Second Manhood be,
In a Child so Bright as he!

Guard him, ye Poetic Powers;
Watch his Minutes, watch his Hours:
Let your Tuneful _Nine_ Inspire him;
Let Poetic Fury fire him:
Let the Poets one and all
To his Genius Victims fall.

[Decoration]

* * * * *
* * * *

PROPOSALS

For Printing by Subscriptions,

The
Antiquities of _Grub-street_:

With OBSERVATIONS Critical, Political,
Historical, Chronological,
Philosophical, and Philological.

By { JOHN WALTON and }
{ JAMES ANDREWS } Gent.

[Decoration]

This WORK will be Printed on a Superfine Royal
Paper, in Ten Volumes, _Folio_: Each Volume to
contain an Hundred Sheets; besides Maps, Cuts, and
other proper Illustrations.

The Price to _Subscribers_ is Fifty Guinea's each
Set: Half Down, and Half on Delivery.

No more to be Printed than what are Subscribed for.

_Subscribers_ for Six Sets, have a Seventh _gratis_,
as usual.

The _Subscribers_ Names and Coats of Arms will be
prefix'd to the Work.

For those who are particularly Curious, some Copies
will be Printed on Vellum, Rul'd and Illuminated,
they paying the Difference.

It is not doubted but this Great UNDERTAKING will
meet with Encouragement from the Learned World,
several Noble Persons having already Subscribed.

SUBSCRIBERS are _Taken-in_ by the _Authors_, and
most _Noted_ Booksellers in _London_, &c.

_N. B._ The very _Cuts_ are worth the Money; there
being, _inter alia_, above 300 curious Heads of
Learned Authors, on large Copper-Plates, engraven
by Mr. _Herman van Stynkenvaart_, from the
Paintings, Busto's, and Basso-Relievo's of the
Greatest Masters.

[Decoration]

* * * * *
* * * *

ADVERTISEMENT

To all Gentlemen Booksellers, and others.

At the House with Stone-Steps and Sash-Windows
in _Hanover-Court_ in _Grape-Street_,
vulgarly call'd _Grub-Street_,

Liveth an _AUTHOR_,

Who Writeth all manner of Books and Pamphlets, in Verse or Prose, at Reasonable Rates: And furnisheth, at a Minute's Warning, any Customer with Elegies, Pastorals, Epithalamium's and Congratulatory Verses adapted to all manner of Persons and Professions, Ready Written, with Blanks to insert the Names of the Parties Address'd to.

He supplieth Gentlemen Bell-Men with Verses on all Occasions, at 12 _d._ the Dozen, or 10 _s._ the Gross; and teacheth them Accent and Pronunciation _gratis_.

He taketh any side of a Question, and Writeth For or Against, or both, if required.

He likewise Draws up Advertisements; and Asperses after the newest Method.

He Writeth for those who cannot Write themselves, yet are ambitious of being Authors; and will, if required, enter into Bonds never to own the Performance.

He Transmogrifieth _alias_ Transmigrapheth any Copy; and maketh many Titles to one Work, after the manner of the famous Mr. E---- C----

N. B. _He is come down from the Garret to the First
Floor, for the Convenience of his Customers._

[->] _Pray mistake not the House; because there are
many Pretenders there-abouts._

No Trust by Retale.

* * * * *
* * * *
* * * * *

PUDDING

and

DUMPLING

_Burnt to_ POT.

* * * * *
* * * *

_Pudding_ and _Dumpling_
_Burnt to _POT_._

Or, A Compleat

K E Y

to the
DISSERTATION
on
_DUMPLING_.

Wherein

All the MYSTERY of that dark Treatise is brought
to Light; in such a Manner and Method, that
the meanest Capacity may know who and who's
together.

Published for the general Information of Mankind.
By _J. W._ Author of 684 Treatises.

_Yhuchi! dandi ocatchu gao emousey._

_LONDON:_

_Printed and Sold by A. DODD, without _Temple-Bar_,
and H. WHITRIDGE, the Corner of _Castle-Alley_,
in _Cornhill_._
M.DCC XXVII. [_Price 6 d._]

[Decoration]

PREFACE

It very much surprizes me that six Editions of a Mythological Pamphlet, entituled, _A Dissertation on Dumpling_, should escape your Notice of that wonderful Unriddler of Mysteries the ingenious Mr. _E---- C---_ who has at the same Time given such Proofs of his Abilities in his many and most elaborate Keys to _Gulliver_'s Travels; Keys, which _Gulliver_ himself could never have found out! and withal, so pertinent, that I shall esteem those at the Helm, no great Lovers of Learning, if my Friend _Edmund_ be not forthwith promoted: for as the Sweetness of a Kernel is uncomatable, but by the Fracture of its Shell, so is the Beauty of a Mystery altogether hid, till the Expounder has riddlemayreed the Propounder's Problem, and render'd it obvious to the meanest Capacity.

The only Plea I can use in Mr. _C----'s_ behalf, is, that the Author of the Dissertation has been a little too free with his Character, which probably occasioned that Sullenness in our _British Oedipus_; who in Order to be revenged, has determined not to embelish the Work with his Interpretation, but rather let it rot and perish in Oblivion.

This, and nothing else, could be the Reason of so profound a Silence in so great a Mysterymonger, to remedy which Loss to the Publick, I an unworthy Scribler, and faint Copier of that great Artist, presume with aching Heart, and trembling Hand, to draw the Veil which shades the political Pamphlet in Question; and show it to my loving Countrymen in _Puris Naturalibus_.

If I succeed in this, I hope Mr. _L----t_, who all the World knows is a rare Chap to his Authors, will speedily employ me to unriddle, or at least make a Plot to the _Rival Modes_, which it seems the Author has omitted: it is true, he ought to have given it the Bookseller with the Copy, but has not so done, which makes me wonder he is not sued for Breach of Covenant; but what is that to me, if I get a Job by the Bargain? Let Booksellers beware how they buy Plays without Plots for the future.

I narrowly miss'd solving the Problem called _Wagner_ and _Abericock_; Mr. _B----_ had spoke to Mr. _W----_ to speak to Mr. _C----_, who had just consented to employ me, after having made me abate half my demand: But Houses running thin, _Colley_ had undertaken the Job himself to save Charges; intending at the same Time, to annex a severe Criticism on _Pluto_ and _Proserpine_.