Skip to content

Chapter V: Preface: To the (5)

Text size

July 2. Today was given me, when there was not one shilling in hand, 50l. for the SchoolBibleand Missionary-Fund.

July 15. Monday. Today 2l. 7s. 3d. was needed for the Orphans, but we had nothing. How to obtain the means for a dinner, and for what else was needed, I knew not. My heart was perfectly at peace, and unusually sure of help, though I knew not in the least whence it was to come. Before brother T. came, I received a letter from India, written in May, with an order for 50l. for the Orphans. I had said last Saturday to brother T., that it would be desirable to have 50l., as the salaries of all my fellow-labourers are due, the three treacle-casks empty, all the provision stores exhausted, several articles of clothing needed, and worsted for the boys to go on with their knitting. Now the Lord has sent exactly 50l. Moreover this money comes very seasonably, as in three days I shall have to leave Bristol for some days, and can now go comfortably, as it regards leaving means behind.

[In the afternoon of this same day I met at a brothers house with several believers, when a sister said that she had often thought about the care and burden I must have on my mind, as it regards obtaining the necessary supplies for so many persons. As this may not be a solitary instance, I would state, that, by the grace of God, this is no cause of anxiety to me. The children I have years ago cast upon the Lord. The whole work is His, and it becomes me to be without carefulness. In whatever points I am lacking, in this point I am able, by the grace of God, to roll the burden upon my heavenly Father. Though now (July 1845) for about seven years our funds have been so exhausted, that it has been comparatively a rare case that there have been means in hand to meet the necessities of the Orphans for three days together; yet have I been only once tried in spirit, and that was on Sept. 18, 1838, when for the first time the Lord seemed not to regard our prayer. But when He did send help at that time, and I saw that it was only for the trial of our faith, and not because He had forsaken the work that we were brought so low, my soul was so strengthened and encouraged, that I have not only not been allowed to distrust the Lord since that time, but I have not even been cast down when in the deepest poverty. Nevertheless, in this respect also am I now, as much as ever, dependant on the Lord; and I earnestly beseech for myself and my fellow-labourers the prayers of all those, to whom the glory of God is dear. How great would be the dishonour to the name of God, if we, who have so publicly made our boast in Him, should so fall as to act in these very points as the world does! Help us then, brethren, with your prayers, that we may trust in God to the end. We can expect nothing but that our faith will yet be tried, and it may be more than ever; and we shall fall, if the Lord does not uphold us.]

July 16 and 17. These two days we have had two especial prayer meetings, to commend to the Lord five German brethren who for some weeks have been sojourning among us, and who purpose to leave tomorrow for Liverpool, to sail from thence to the East Indies.

July 18. I left this morning with the German brethren, to accompany them to Liverpool.

July 21. Liverpool. This afternoon I preached in the open air on the docks. Truly, it must be a sweet privilege to be permitted frequently to proclaim the glad tidings of the Gospel in the open air, which the Lord does not bestow upon me, as, under ordinary circumstances, I have no strength for this work.--The people were attentive. There was but one who mocked.

July 22. Preached again out of doors.

July 23. I accompanied the five brethren on board this afternoon.

July 27. Today I had another remarkable proof of the importance of the children of God opening their hearts to each other, especially when they are getting into a cold state, or are under the power of a certain sin, or are in especial difficulty. An individual called on me, who I trust is a brother, with whom I had conversed once before, but felt uncomfortable respecting him. When he called again today, it appeared to me that there was something upon his heart, which, if I could but know, I might be instrumental in benefiting him. I pressed him affectionately to open his heart, assuring him at the same time that the matter which he might speak of should remain in my own bosom. At last I succeeded. [The result of this conversation was, that the advice which I gave him, led him, after three days, to leave for America, where he ought to have been, instead of being in England; and if he has followed my advice, in one other point, the matter which for years had burdened his conscience, and which, no doubt had been the means of keeping him in a low spiritual state, will have no more power over him. Should this fall into the hands of any children of God who have a particular trial or burden, or a guilty conscience, on account of a particular thing, or a besetting sin, etc., on account of which it would be beneficial to open their hearts to another child of God, in whose love, spiritual judgment, etc., they have confidence, I would advise them to do so. I know from my own experience, how often the snare of the devil has been broken, when under the power of sin; how often the heart has been comforted, when nigh to be overwhelmed; how often advice, under great perplexity, has been obtained,--by opening my heart to a brother in whom I had confidence. We are children of the same family, and ought therefore to be helpers one of another.]

Aug. 3. £3. 5s. was required to meet the necessities of the Orphan-Houses this day. The Lord enabled us to meet this demand, partly, by the sale of some Indian muslin, which had been given some months since, but which was only now disposed of; partly, by a few small donations; and partly, by what one of the labourers added of his own. [We have often found that the money for articles, which were put out to be sold, has come in most seasonably. At this time it happened so that a brother, into whose hands the muslin had been put, felt himself stirred up to go and ask the individual who had it for sale whether she had disposed of it. This brother knew nothing about our need at that time.]

Aug. 5. Monday. On Saturday and yesterday morning I had repeatedly asked the Lord to send us help, as there was not a penny in hand for the need of today. Yesterday morning a brother gave me two sovereigns, and in the evening I received two more. Besides this, there was 4l. 10s. anonymously given for three weeks rent for the Orphan-Houses, also 10s. by a brother, and 9s. came in for needlework of the children; so that altogether 9l. 9s. came in yesterday.

This evening I took tea with a sister who purposes to leave Bristol tomorrow for Van Diemens Land. [For the comfort of any saints, who may be similarly situated, I mention the following circumstance. The son of this sister was transported many years since. In the course of time he obtained a business of his own in Van Diemens Land, and wished his mother to come to him. The mother went, and had, in answer to the prayers of the saints, a prosperous voyage. When she arrived, she found her son truly converted. What a joy for the long and deeply afflicted mother! What remarkable means the Lord uses to bestow blessings! Moreover, to mark that the Lord had sent her to her son, she found that a month before her arrival his wife had died, and that she therefore reached him just at the right time, both on account of his children and his business.]

Aug. 7. Today again about 3l. was needed for housekeeping at the Orphan-Houses, which the Lord had sent in since the day before yesterday, so that we were able to meet all the demands.

Aug. 8. Today 1l. 3s. was needed, but only 3s. had come in. The deficiency was supplied by one of the labourers giving a sovereign of his own. Though there is no money in hand, yet are we so little discouraged, that we have received today one orphan boy, and have given notice for the admission of six other children, which will bring the number up to 98 altogether.

Aug. 9. Only 10s. had come in since yesterday, and as 30s. were needed, one of the labourers gave a sovereign.

Aug. 10. Saturday. The need of today is 2l. 10s. but only 10s, has been given since yesterday. One of the labourers, having 2l., gave it, and thus our need was supplied.

Aug. 12. Monday. The Lord has again kindly sent 11l. Of this sum 10l. came in from Q. Q., when again there was not one penny in hand. We have now supplies for about four days.

Aug. 14. Today was very seasonably sent a whole piece of calico and a piece of print.

Aug. 16. All our money is now again gone. Today 1l. 3s. was needed, but only 3s. was in hand. One of the labourers was able to add a sovereign, and thus we were helped.

Aug. 17. Saturday. 5l. was needed today, but only 7s. 6d. had come in. The remaining 2l. l2s. 6d. one of the labourers gave. Thus we were helped to the close of another week.

Aug. 19. Monday. This has been again a day in which our faith has been particularly tried; but even this day we have not been confounded. Not one penny was in hand when the day began. We had therefore now, for more than one hundred persons, again to look to the Lord. But this I must say, to the praise of the Lord, my soul was perfectly at peace. I meant to have gone very early to the Orphan-Houses to meet with my fellow-labourers for prayer; but, as one person after the other called upon me, I was kept from it the whole morning. When brother T. called upon me between 12 and 1 oclock for money, I had none to give. In the afternoon at four I was able to meet with the brethren and sisters. When I came to the Girls-Orphan-House, I found that one of those children, for the reception of whom we had given notice, had been brought from Bath, and with him was sent 1l. 5s. After the meeting was over, one of the labourers gave 10s. By means of this 1l. 15s. we were able for this day also to provide every thing needful.

Aug. 20. When we met together this morning for prayer, only one shilling had come in since yesterday, and 2l. at least was needed to meet the expenses of this day. After prayer, one of the labourers gave 10s., and 1s. 1 1/2d. was taken out of one of the boxes. This 12s. 1 1/2d. was divided to meet the momentary need. About an hour afterwards, 1l. 14s. came in, being the payment, in part, of articles which had been sold several months since.

Aug. 21. Nothing had come in since yesterday. 13s. would have been needed to have taken in the usual quantity of bread. After we had prayed, the same labourer who had contributed yesterday and the day before, gave today 5s. more. This helped us to buy milk; but in one of the houses the usual quantity of bread could not be taken in. I have further to notice respecting this time of trial, that I had purposed to have gone yesterday to Bath, to meet today and tomorrow with several brethren, who are met there from various parts of the country, to unite in prayer for the present spiritual necessities of the church at large. However, on account of our present need in the Orphan-Houses, I could not go yesterday, as I did not think it right to let my fellow-labourers bear the trial alone. Today also I have been kept here, as our poverty is greater than ever. Yet (the Lord be praised!) neither have the children in the least lacked this day, nor has my mind been in any degree disturbed. My fellow-labourers also seem quite in peace. We are waiting for deliverance, and we are sure that the Lord, in His own time, will send it.

Aug. 22. In my morning walk, when I was reminding the Lord of our need, I felt assured that He would send help this day. My assurance sprang from our need; for there seemed no way to get through the day, without help being sent. After breakfast I considered whether there was any thing which might be turned into money for the dear children. Among other things, there came under my hands a number of religious pamphlets which had been given for the benefit of the Orphans; but all seemed not nearly enough, to meet the necessities of the day, In this our deep poverty, after I had gathered together the few things for sale, a sister, who earns her bread by the labour of her hands, brought 82l. This sister had seen it to be binding upon believers in our Lord Jesus to act out His commandments: "Sell that ye have (sell your possessions) and give alms," Luke xii. 33; and "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth," Matt. vi. 19. Accordingly she had drawn her money out of the bank and stocks, being 250l., and had brought it to me at three different times for the benefit of the Orphans, the BibleMissionaryand School-Fund, and the poor saints, About two months ago she brought me 100l. more, being the produce of some other possession which she had sold, the half of which was to be used for the SchoolBible-and Missionary Fund; and the other half for the poor saints. This 82l. which she had brought today, is the produce of the sale of her last earthly possession.--[At the time I am preparing the seventh edition for the press, more than twenty-nine years have passed away, and this sister has never expressed the least regret as to the step she took, but goes on, quietly labouring with her hands, to earn her bread.]--But even now, when this money was given, I left it in the hands of the Lord, whether any part of it should be applied for the Orphans. I asked the sister, therefore, whether she wished the money to be spent in any particular way, as she had expressed her wish about the former sums. This time she left it with me, to lay out the money as I thought best. I took, therefore, half of it for the Orphans, and half for the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. I have thus been enabled to come to Bath, (after I had sent a more than usual supply to the matrons), to meet, at least for the remaining time, with the brethren who are assembled here for prayer. Before the day is over, I have received 10l. more, while at Bath, from one of the brethren who are assembled here; so that our deep poverty, in the morning, has been turned into a comparative abundance.

Aug. 23. The Lord has sent still further supplies. Another of the brethren gave me this morning 1l., and a third, with whom I drove back to Bristol, 5l.

From Aug. 25 to Sept. 1, there came in above 17l. more.

Sept. 4. I have been led to pray whether it is the Lords will that I should leave Bristol for a season, as I have for the last fortnight been suffering from indigestion, by which my whole system is weakened, and thus the nerves of my head are more than usually affected. There are, however, two hindrances in the way, want of means for the Orphans, and want of means for my own personal expenses.--Today I have received a cheque from Q. Q. for 7l. 10s. for the Orphans, which came, therefore, very seasonably. Also 4l. besides has came in since the day before yesterday.

Sept. 5. Today a sister sent me 5l. for myself, to be used for the benefit of my health. She had heard that my health is again failing. I do not lay by money for such purposes; but whenever I really need means, whether for myself or others, the Lord sends them, in answer to prayer; for He had in this case again given me prayer respecting means for myself and for the Orphans, that my way might be made plain as to leaving Bristol for a season.

Sept. 6. My body is now so weak, and my head again so affected in consequence of it, and I have found it needful to give up the work at once. I left today for Trowbridge, for three days, intending afterwards to go with my wife into Devonshire, if the Lord permit.

Sept. 7. Trowbridge. This has been a very good day. I have had much communion with the Lord. How kind to take me from the work at Bristol for a season, to give me more communion with Himself. I remembered the Lords especial goodness to me in this place, at the commencement of last year. How kind has He also been since! I prayed much for myself, for the Church at large, for the saints here and in Bristol, for my unconverted relatives, for my dear wife, and that the Lord would supply my own temporal necessities and those of the Orphans:--and I know that He has heard me.--I am surrounded with kind friends in the dear saints, under whose roof I am, and feel quite at home. My room is far better than I need; yet an easy chair, in this my weak state of body, to kneel before in prayer, would have added to my comfort. In the afternoon, without having given a hint about it, I found an easy chair put into my room. I was struck with the kindness, the especial kindness of my heavenly Father, in being mindful of the smallest wants and comforts of His child.--Having had more prayer than usual, I found that my intercourse with the saints at tea was with unction, and more than usually profitable. But this very fact reminds me of my sad deficiencies, and of my great lack of real fervency of spirit. May the Lord carry on His work with power in my soul! Today I had 1l. given to me, half for the Orphans, and half for the other funds. Thus the Lord has begun to answer my prayers; for I expect far more.

Sept. 8. Lords day. I assembled with a few saints at Trowbridge, and spoke to them in the morning and evening with much assistance. The afternoon I spent at home over the Word and in prayer. God has evidently blessed the Word. He had a purpose in sending me here, both for blessing to myself and to others.

Sept. 9. This morning I conversed with a poor aged sister in the Lord, who for 47 years has been a believer, but who, from want of settling by the written Word only, whether she is a believer or not, has often had doubts about her state before God. However, I brought the Scriptures only before her. [My pressing the Scriptures alone upon her heart, was made such a blessing, that I hear she has not doubted in the same way since.] This aged sister told me she often prays for the Orphans, and for the continuance of means. How many helpers has the Christian in the conflict; yet all are strengthened by ONE who is ALWAYS for us!

This evening I returned to Bristol, to go from hence tomorrow to Exeter, if the Lord permit, on account of my health. I had been earnestly asking the Lord, while I was staying at Trowbridge, that He would be pleased to send in supplies for the Orphans, before I go into Devonshire, and I had the fullest assurance that means would come in before I left Bristol. I therefore asked my wife, on my return, how much had come in, and found that it was only 8l. 9s. 7 3/4d. This was not nearly as much as I had expected, and would not answer the end for which I had particularly asked means, i. e. that I might be able to leave enough for several days. My reply therefore was, according to the faith given to me, and judging from the earnestness and confidence of my prayer, that the Lord would send more before I left. About an hour after, brother Craik brought me 10l., which he had received this evening with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, and also a letter from a brother at Ilfracombe, in which the arrival of a large box, full of articles, to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans, is announced. Thus the Lord has dealt with me according to my faith.

Sept. 10. This morning before I left Bristol came in still further 1l. l6s. 7d., so that I had about 20l. to leave behind for the present need. I found also, on opening the box which has arrived, 65 books, a brace of valuable pistols, and a great many articles of East India linen. How kind of the Lord to send these supplies just now!

After my departure from Bristol I continued to help my fellow-labourers by my prayers. I had the fullest assurance that the Lord would help them, and my hope was not ashamed, as will appear from the following part of the journal.--In the evening of Sept. 10th, we arrived in Exeter, where we were lodged by a brother, who on the following day left for Plymouth. The love of this brother constrained us to remain for five days at his house, though he was absent, leaving us all the house with a sister, as a servant, to ourselves. Though at another time I should have preferred the opportunity of having intercourse with this brother, yet now, in this my weak state of body, the being left alone was the very thing which suited me. I could not but trace the kind hand of God in this circumstance. I was able to speak twice publicly while in Exeter. I rejoiced at what I saw there of the work of God. This city was in the year 1830 especially laid on my heart, when I used frequently to preach there; but then there was a great spiritual deadness.

From Sept. 16th to Sept. 28th we were at Teignmouth my former field of labour. I had not seen the brethren, among whom I used to labour, since May, 1833. The Lord gave me strength, many times to minister in the Word among them, during the time of my stay there. At Teignmouth also, I had, in some respects, reason to be glad, particularly in that I saw some of those truths practised, and that more fully and intelligently, which, though in much weakness and indistinctly, I had sought to set forth whilst labouring there. At Teignmouth also, as well as in Exeter, the saints showed us much love. A brother and sister lodged us during the whole of our stay. May the Lord reward them for their love!--While I was at Teignmouth I received on Sept. 18th, the following letter from brother T., in reference to the work in Bristol:--

Bristol, Sept. 16, 1839.

My dear Brother, I have delayed writing until now, that, as I hoped, I might have additional news to tell you after the Lords day. And now that my hope has been made good, I rejoice to do so. The Lord has dealt most graciously with us since your departure. The children, brother B. and the sisters are well, and the wants of the Orphans have been abundantly supplied. There has come in altogether 24l. 8s. 6d., &c.

On Sept. 24th, I received another letter from brother T., dated Bristol, Sept. 23rd, in which he writes: "It rejoices me that I have still nothing but the goodness of the Lord to tell you of. That little word Ebenezer is at once our encouragement and our daily song, of which we are not weary. I have received since the last information you had from me 5l. l7s. 4 1/4d., besides 1l. 10s. for the rent of the Orphan-Houses."

On Sept. 28th, while I was at Teignmouth, a brother asked me about the funds for the Orphans, being willing to help, and I had reason to believe considerably, if they were in need. Though I knew not for a certainty that there was one shilling in hand in Bristol, yet for the Lords sake I declined telling him any thing about the funds, in order that the work might evidently be carried on by dealing with the Lord Himself.

On Sept. 28th we left Teignmouth for Plymouth, being taken by the love of a brother from Teignmouth to Newton Bushel in his own little carriage. At Plymouth we found again a kind brother waiting at the coach office, to receive us. He took us to his house and lodged us till our departure, on Oct. 6th. During my stay at Plymouth, I was stirred up afresh to early rising, a blessing, the results of which I have not lost since. That which led me to it was the example of the brother in whose house I was staying, and a remark which he made in speaking on the sacrifices in Leviticus, "That as not the refuse of the animals was to be offered up, so the best part of our time should be especially given to communion with the Lord." I had been, on the whole, rather an early riser during former years. But since the nerves of my head had been so weak, I thought, that, as the day was long enough for my strength, it would be best for me not to rise early, in order that thus the nerves of my head might have the longer quiet. On this account I rose only between six and seven, and sometimes after seven. For the same reason also I brought myself purposely into the habit of sleeping a quarter of an hour, or half an hour, after dinner: as I thought I found benefit from it, in quieting the nerves of my head. In this way, however, my soul had suffered more or less every day, and sometimes considerably, as now and then unavoidable work came upon me before I had had sufficient time for prayer and reading the Word. After I had heard the remark to which I have alluded, I determined, that whatever my body might suffer, I would no longer let the most precious part of the day pass away while I was in bed. By the grace of God I was enabled to begin the very next day to rise earlier, and have continued to rise early since that time. I allow myself now about seven hours sleep, which, though I am far from being strong, and have much to tire me mentally, I find is quite sufficient to refresh me. In addition to this I gave up the sleeping after dinner. The result has been that I have thus been able to procure long and precious seasons for prayer and meditation before breakfast; and, as to my body, and the state of the nervous system in particular, I have been much better since. Indeed I believe that the very worst thing I could have done for my weak nerves was, to have lain an hour or more longer in bed than I used to do before my illness; for it was the very way to keep them weak.--As this may fall into the hands of some children of God who are not in the habit of rising early, I make a few more remarks on the subject.

I. It might be asked, how much time shall I allow myself for rest? The answer is, that no rule of universal application can be given, as all persons do not require the same measure of sleep, and also the same persons, at different times, according to the strength or weakness of their body, may require more or less. Females also, being generally weaker in body, require more sleep than males. Yet, from what I can learn, it is the opinion of medical persons, that men in health do not require more than between six and seven hours sleep, and females no more than between seven and eight hours; so that it would be rather an exception, for a man to require more than seven and a woman more than eight hours. But my decided advice, at the same time, is, that children of God should be careful not to allow themselves too little sleep, as there are few men who can do with less than six hours sleep, and yet be well in body and mind, and few females who can do with less than seven hours. Certain it is that for a long time, as a young man before I went to the university, I went to bed regularly at ten and rose at four, studied hard, and was in good health; and certain also, that since I have allowed myself only about seven hours, from the time of my visit at Plymouth in Oct. 1839, I have been much better in body, and in my nerves in particular, than when I was eight or eight hours and a half in bed.

II. If it be asked, but why should I rise early? The reply is, to remain too long in bed is 1. waste of time, which is unbecoming a saint, who is bought by the precious blood of Jesus, with his time and all he has, to be used for the Lord. If we sleep more than is needful for the refreshment of the body, it is wasting the time with which the Lord has intrusted us as a talent, to be used for His glory, for our own benefit, and the benefit of the saints and the unbelievers around us. 2. To remain too long in bed injures the body. Just as when we take too much food, we are injured thereby, so as it regards sleep. Medical persons would readily allow, that, the lying longer in bed than is needful for the strengthening of the body, does weaken it. 3. It injures the soul. The lying too long in bed, not merely keeps us from giving the most precious part of the day to prayer and meditation, but this sloth leads also to many other evils.--Any one need but make the experiment of spending one, two, or three hours in prayer and meditation before breakfast, either in his room, or with his Bible in his hand in the fields, and he will soon find out the beneficial effect which early rising has upon the outward and inward man. I beseech all my brethren and sisters into whose hand this may fall, and who are not in the habit of rising early, to make the trial, and they will praise the Lord for having done so.

III. It may lastly be said, but how shall I set about rising early? My advice is, 1. Commence at once, delay it not. Tomorrow begin to rise. 2. But do not depend upon your own strength. This may be the reason why, before this, you may have begun to rise early, but have given it up. As surely as you depend upon your own strength in this matter, it will come to nothing. In every good work we depend upon the Lord, and in this thing we shall feel especially how weak we are. If any one rises that he may give the time which he takes from sleep, to prayer and meditation, let him be sure that Satan will try to put obstacles in the way. 3. Do trust in the Lord for help, You will honour Him, if you expect help from Him in this matter. Give yourself to prayer for help, expect help, and you will have it. 4. Use, however, in addition to this, the following means: a, Go early to bed. If you stay up late, you cannot rise early. Let no society and no pressure of engagements keep you from going habitually early to bed. If you fail in this, you neither can nor ought to get up early, as your body requires rest. Keep also particularly in mind, that neither for the body nor the soul is it the same thing, whether you go to bed late and rise late, or whether you go to bed early and rise early. Even medical persons will tell you how injurious it is to sit up late, and to spend the morning hours in bed; but how much more important still is it to retire early and to rise early, in order to make sure of time for prayer and meditation before the business of the day commences, and to devote to those exercises that part of our time, when the mind and the body are most fresh, in order thus to obtain spiritual strength for the conflict, the trials, and the work of the day. b, Let some one call you, if possible, at the time which you have determined before God that you will rise; or procure, what is still better, an alarum, by which you may regulate almost to a minute the time when you wish to rise. For about 12s. a little German clock, with an alarum, may be bought almost in every town. Though I have very many times been awakened by the Lord, in answer to prayer, almost to the minute when I desired to rise; yet I thought it well to procure an alarum, to assist me in my purpose of rising early: not indeed as if it could give the least help, without the Lords blessing, for I should remain in bed, notwithstanding the noise of the alarum, were He not to give me grace to rise; but simply looking upon it as a means. c, Rise at once when you are awake. Remain not a minute longer in bed, else you are likely to fall asleep again. d, Be not discouraged by feeling drowsy and tired in consequence of your rising early. This will soon wear off. You will after a few days feel yourself stronger and fresher than when you used to lie an hour or two longer than you needed. e, Allow yourself always the same hours for sleep. Make no change, except sickness oblige you. .

Plymouth, Oct. 1. Today my soul was again especially drawn out in prayer for the dear Orphans. I not merely asked the Lord that He would still continue to supply their need, but I was so fully assured that He had sent the necessary means since I last heard, that I was enabled to praise Him for having done so. Immediately after I had praised Him, but while I was yet on my knees, came another letter from brother T., dated Bristol, Sept. 29, in which he writes thus:

"The Lords help has been graciously continued to us since I wrote last. Ever since your absence, the supplies have come in so seasonably, that I have not had occasion, until now, of opening the boxes in the Orphan-Houses. There came in, since my last account, from a sister 2s. 6d., with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, 1l.. 1s. 6d., through Mr. C. of Bath, 2l. 3s. 4d., from the boxes 14s. 6 1/2d., from A. M. B. 5s. Some apples besides have been given, some old clothes, and a large bath to be sold or used. I gave on Thursday to the sisters 10l., and today for the Boys-Orphan-House 1l. 10s. After this I have in hand 1l. 3s. 8 3/4d., to be multiplied as the Lord wills. I had written thus far, and was on the point of writing that we expected sister E. home this evening, when the door-bell rang, and sister E. came in, bringing a little packet of money, directed to you, from Hereford, enclosing a letter and ten sovereigns "for your labours of faith and love;" so that the remainder of the barrel of meal has been multiplied somewhat already. It is most seasonable help! It rejoices me that it has come in time, for you to have the intelligence with this letter. I have in hand l9s. for the other funds, therefore it seems well to me, if it should be needed before I hear from you, to take only 5l. for the Orphans; but, if it pleases the Lord to enable us to do without, I shall leave it untouched until you write. In addition to what I have written, I have just received 10s. and 1l. 9s. 3d. How gracious!"

The time from October 6th to the 17th I spent among the brethren at Bideford and Barnstaple, with great refreshment to my own soul, and was also allowed by the Lord to minister to them. The whole of my stay among the children of God in Devonshire has been very profitable to me. May my soul not lose the blessing of it! How the Lord uses our infirmity of body for the blessing of our souls! In my case also it was instrumental in communicating blessing to others. I was able to speak more frequently in public, while absent from Bristol, than I should have done under ordinary circumstances, had I remained in Bristol.

Barnstaple, Oct. 10. The day before yesterday I had 10s. given to me here for the Orphans; and yesterday 3l., which came in most seasonably, as will appear from the following letter which I received this evening from brother T.

Bristol, Oct. 8th, 1839.

"My dear Brother, we have continued to enjoy the gracious help of the Lord since I last wrote to you. Nearly up to that time the supplies had come in so seasonably, that the previous disbursements had scarcely ever been expended, before I was again able to make a fresh one. Since then, however, we have been twice a little straitened. On Friday evening we were in prospect of Saturdays necessities, and had nothing to meet them, except the money about which I was in doubt from not having received directions from you. I had already used 5l. out of the 10l. which had been sent, and now, after waiting till it was actually needed, we thought it an indication, as none had been sent, that this should all go to the Orphan-Houses. On Monday again more money was needed than I had in hand, but we were in expectation of help. After dinner, as nothing had come in, I thought it well to open the boxes, thinking, that, although I had opened them so recently, I had no right to presume that the Lord had not had time to pour into them. The expectation was not in vain; for in the box at the Boys-Orphan-House I found 1l. 0s. 1 1/2d., in the box at the Girls-Orphan-House 7s. 1d. At the latter place I met sister A. who gave me 3s. for things that she had sold. Thus we were most graciously helped through Monday. Then, in the evening, at the meeting I received from sister B. 2s., and through sister C. 11s. I had opened the box at the Infant-Orphan-House on Monday, and found it empty. But today, finding the 13s. insufficient, and being told that something had been put in, I opened it, and found 3s. 6d., which nicely helped us through. And we are now looking to the Lord for more. In the mean time I shall this morning attend to the sale of whatever has been given to be sold. It comforts us to know you are praying for us," &c.

The money which I had received yesterday and the day before yesterday here, at Barnstaple, and two weeks ago at Teignmouth, enabled me now to send off at once 5l.

On Oct. 17th I returned to Bristol, with renewed strength, for active service.

Oct. 17. Bristol. The Lord has been again very gracious as it regards the funds; for during the last three days, while I was at Barnstaple, I received from a sister 5s., two rings, and a brooch. From another sister a gold watch, to be sold for the Orphans. From a brother a seal, two ear-rings, and a brooch. From a third sister sixteen books to be sold; also 4l., the produce of a veil. From a fourth sister 2l. 10s., and from a fifth 1l., and from five others 8s. 9d. In addition to this I found when I came home, that though my fellow-labourers had been greatly tried a few days previous to my return, so much so, that, when the 5l. arrived which I sent from Barnstaple, they were in greater poverty than they ever had been; yet, within the last days, several pounds had come in, and yesterday, over and above all this, arrived 15l. from London for some articles which had been sent there to be sold. What can we render unto the Lord for all His benefits!

Oct. 19. The Lord is still pouring in bountifully! This morning 10l. was sent from Worcester, and a sister brought 7l., being the produce of the sale of ladies baskets, which she and some other sisters are making for the benefit of the Orphans. This last case shows what various means the Lord uses to provide for our need; yet all comes without one single individual being asked to give help; for to the Lord alone we speak about our need. We are now again comparatively rich, i. e. we have means in hand to meet the current expenses of about eight days, which has been only two or three times the case during the last fifteen months.

Oct. 30. A little boy brought me a letter, given to him by a gentleman and lady in the street, as he said, to take to my house. The letter contained these words with a five pound note: "The enclosed 5l. accept for the benefit of the Orphans, in the name of the Lord Jesus."

Nov. 5. Today an Orphan was brought from Bath, and a lady sent by her servant, the aunt of the child, a sovereign for the Orphans, when there was but 3s. 11d. in hand. It has been thus repeatedly, that when orphans have been brought, and we had no money, or scarcely any, that the Lord sent a little with these poor children. It never is with us any question, whether there is much or little money in hand, so far as it regards the reception of children; but only, whether there is room.

Nov. 8. We are now again quite poor. The Lord gave us to know more than usually from Oct. 17th to Oct. 31st what it is to abound, and now we know again what it is to be poor. It would have been desirable to have had 3l. today, but only 1l. 3s. 11d, was in hand, which I sent off. In our need we were led to open the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, which had not been done for some weeks, and in them was found 16s. 2 1/2d. To this one of the labourers added 9s. By this 2l. 9s. 1 1/2d. we could meet those expenses which needed to be met, and we were thus helped through the day.

Nov. 9. Saturday. 3l. 0s. 6d. was required today, in order comfortably to meet the present demands, but not one penny was in hand. Between ten and eleven I went to the Girls-Orphan-House, to meet with my fellow-labourers for prayer. Only 2s. had come in. This was all I could leave. There was every thing in the houses which was required for the moment, and I proposed that we should meet again for prayer in the afternoon at four. When we did so, one of the labourers gave 8s. 6d., another 10s., another 5s. 6d., so that I had as much to give to the matrons as would provide comfortably all the necessaries for the children till Monday morning; only the usual quantity of bread could not be taken in. About half an hour, after we had separated, came in 1l. 10s., the produce of the sale of a shawl, which a sister from Devonshire had given for that purpose some days since. Thus we had altogether 2l. 16s., whereas when the day commenced we had no natural prospect of any thing. This is a new sweet encouragement. Besides this, our Father has given us another proof of His continued care, in that twenty sacks of potatoes and a small barrel of herrings have been sent for the Orphans.

Nov. 11. Monday morning. Yesterday, when, as just related, there was not a penny in hand, there was given to me, with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, ten shillings. This morning came in 1l. 10s, more, Soon afterwards a note was sent to me from the Orphan-Houses, to say that the need of today would be 3l. JUST WHILE I WAS READING THE NOTE I received another, including a sovereign, which a sister from Devonshire had given to one of the brethren for the Orphans. Thus I had just the 3l. which was needed. A few minutes after came in 1s. more.

Nov. 12. The need of today was 2l. As only 1s. had been left in hand yesterday, and no more than 6s. had come in, we were again in a strait. But I was not looking at the little in hand, but at the fulness of God. I sent off the little which I had. In the afternoon we met for prayer. I then found that 2s. 6d. had been taken out of the box in the Infant-Orphan-House, and that 4s. more had come in by the sale of some old books. To this one of the labourers added 2s. 3d., all she had of her own. After prayer came in 2s. 6d., which had been given while we were in prayer. In the evening we met again for prayer, when another labourer gave 3s. 4d. Thus, in our deep poverty, we got together this day 1l. 0s. 7d., which supplied our absolute necessities. We were this afternoon so reduced, till the Lord sent a little help, that there were no means to provide breakfast for tomorrow, for the children in the Boys-Orphan-House.

Nov. 13. Nothing has come in. Our need is even greater today than yesterday, on account of our not having been able yesterday to take in the usual quantity of provisions. In this our need I packed up the books, which had been intended for sale on Aug. 22, when the Lord sent such a rich, supply, before they were actually disposed of. To them one of the labourers added some of his own, and a few other articles. Also some old jackets, which had been sent, were packed up to be disposed of. At twelve I met with my fellow-labourers for prayer.

There was every thing in the houses which was needed for dinner, but there were no means to get milk for tea. (The children have milk and water at tea time.) Three of my helpers went out to dispose of the articles. At four in the afternoon I received the information that 14s. had come in, for some of the things which were disposed of. One of my fellow-labourers had besides disposed of an article of his own for 1l. 5s. This 1l. 19s. enabled us to take in bread as usual, and to defray the other necessary expenses. We had never been lower in means than yesterday and today. Yet my soul, thanks to the Lord! was also yesterday and today in perfect peace. My helpers seem also quite in peace. This evening I received 2s. 6d., and 11s. with Ecclesiastes ix. 10. This little money is as precious, as at other times 100l. would have been, because it is a fresh proof that our Father still cares for us. The money was given to me just after I had been speaking on these words: "But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me." Whilst speaking I was able, in a measure, to realize the preciousness of the truth contained in those words, and after speaking my Father gave me a fresh proof that He is thinking upon me.

Nov. 14. I took the 13s. 6d. which was given last evening, early this morning, to the Orphan-Houses, where I found that 10s. 6d. had come in by the sale of a Hebrew Old and a Greek New Testament, which a brother had given who had more than one copy; and 1s. 6d. for another book. This 1l. 5s. 6d. has been divided, in the hope that our kind Father will remember us before the day is over, and send in more. This afternoon, when we met for prayer, I found that 18s. more had come in for some articles which had been sold. We have had thus 2l. 3s. 6d. this day to divide for housekeeping. By the good hand of the Lord upon us, there has been every thing really needful. May the Lord look upon us, and help us further! Surely, He will do it!

Nov. 15. We are still in deep poverty. Nothing had come in by four oclock in the afternoon, when I went to meet with my fellow-labourers for prayer. I did not go in the morning, because I knew that there was every thing which was needed till the afternoon. When I came I found that a sister had given 2s. 6d.; a new Bible which one of the labourers had given, who had more than one old copy, had been sold for 10s.; also 2s. had come in, and 1s. 4d. for some other articles which had been sold. This 15s. 10d. supplied that which was absolutely needed for today. We are still of good courage. We are sure that the Lord, in His own time, will deliver us out of the trial; for were our poverty more than a trial of faith, had the Lord in anger shut up His hands, we should not receive any thing at all. But this is not the case. For even this very day two sacks of potatoes were sent by the same brother who sent twenty sacks a few days since, with the promise to send still more. We have no means to lay in a stock for the winter, else we should have bought, perhaps, fifty or sixty sacks; but our kind Father does it for us. There has been also a toy chest of drawers promised for sale.

Comments

Log in to leave a comment.

A Narrative of some of the Lord's Dealings with George Müller. Part 2Chapter V: Preface: To the (5)

0%36 min left in chapter