Chapter III: Part 3

But in some cases these Ceremonies be very combersome to a mans busines, and very tedious: as "Cover your head," sayes the Judge, y^t is busied w^t causes, and is scanted of time to dispatche them. And this fellow so full of these Ceremonies, after a number of legges and shuflinge curtesis, aunswers againe: "Sir I am very well thus." But sayes the Judge againe, "Cover your head I say." Yet this good fellow tourning twise or thrise to & fro, making lowe conges downe to the grounde w^t muche reverence and humilitie, aunswers him, still: "I beseache your worship, let me doe my duetie." This busines and trouble lasteth so long, & so muche time is trifled: that the Judge might very nere have dispatched all his busines within that space. Then, although it be every honest mans parte, and the duety of every meaner body, to honour the Judges, and men y^t be called to worship & honour: yet, where time will not beare it: it is a very troublesome thing to use it, and it must be eschewed, or measured with reason.

Neither be y^e self same Ceremonies semely for young men, respecting their Age: y^t ould men doe use together. Nor yet can it becom men of meane and base condition, to use the very same, y^t gentlemen & greate men may use one to another. And if wee marke it well, we shall find, y^t the greatest, y^e best men, & men of most valour, doe not alwayes use y^e most Ceremonies them selves, nor yet love nor looke a man should make many goodly curtsies unto them, as men that can ill spend their thoughts one matters so vaine.

Neither must handy crafts men, nor men of base condition, buisie them selves to much, in over solemne Ceremonies to greate men, and Lordes: it is not lookt for in suche. For they disdaine them, more then allowe them: because it seemes that in such, they seeke, & looke, rather for obedience and duetie, then honour. And therefore it is a foule faulte in a servaunt, to offer his master his service: for he counts it his shame, & he thinks the servant doth make a doubt, whether he is master or no; as if it were not in him to imploy him, & commaund him too. These kinde of Ceremonies would be used frankely. For, What a man dothe of duetie, is taken for a debte, and hee finds him selfe litle beholding to him that doth it. But he that dothe more then he is bound to: it seems he parteth with somewhat, and that makes men to love him, and to commende him for a liberall man. And I remember mee well, I have hearde it saide, that a worthy Graecian a greate versifier, was ever wont to saye: that He that could skill to entertaine men with a small adventure, made a greate gaine.

You shall then use youre Ceremonies, as the tailer shapes his garments, rather to large then to litle: but yet not so, that hee cutteth one hose large inough to make a cloke. And if thou doe use in this point, some litle gentle behaviour, to suche as be meaner then thy selfe: thou shalt be counted lowly. And if thou doe asmuche to thy betters: thou shalt bee saide a Gentleman well taught, and courtious. But hee that dothe herin to muche, and is over lavishe, shalbe blamed as vaine and light: and perhaps worse thought of too: counted a busie body, a fidging fellowe, and in wise mens sight, a flatterer: which vice, our elders have called, (if I doe not forget me) dowble diligence. And there is no faulte in the worlde, more to bee abhorred, or y^t worsse beseemes a gentleman, then this. And this is the thirde maner of Ceremonies, which simply procedeth of our owne will, and not of custome.

Let us then remember, that Ceremonies, (as I have alwayes said) were not so necessarie by nature, but a man might doe well inough without them: As for example, our countrie lived (it is not long since) in maner cleane without any. But other mens diseases have infected us, with these infirmities and many mo. So that, custome and use observed: the rest that is more, is but waste: and such a sufferable leesing, as if it be more in deede then is in use, it is not only unsufferable, but forbidden: and so uppon, the matter, a cold and unsavourie thing to noble mindes, that cannot brouse uppon shrubbes and shewes.

And you shall understand, that trusting my owne skill but little, in writing this present treatise: I thought good to consult with many, and to take the Judgement of better learned men then my selfe. And this in my reading I finde. There was a King, they call him Oedipus: being banished and driven out of his countrie (uppon what occasion I know not) he fled to King Theseus at Athens, the better to save him selfe and his life, from his enemies, that mainely pursued him. This Oedipus now comming before the presence of Theseus, by good chaunce hearing his daughter speake, (whome he knew by her voice, for he was blind and could not beholde her with his eyes) he was so presently striken with joy, that, not tarying to doe his allegeaunce and duetie to the King, he did presently embrace, & make much of his daughter before him: his fatherly affection so led him, and rulde him so. But in the end finding his fault, and better advising himselfe of his doings: he would needs excuse it to Theseus, & humbly prayd his grace to pardon his folly. The good and wise King, cut of his talke, and bad him leave his excuses, and thus saide unto him: Comfort thy selfe, Oedipus, and bee not dismayd at that thou hast done. For I will not have my life honoured with other mens woordes, but with my owne deedes. Which sentence a man should have alwayes in mind.

And albeit men be well pleased, that men doe give them worship & honour: yet when they find them selves cuningly courted, they be soone weary of it, and also disdaine it. For these glaverings, or flatteries I should say, to amend their knaveries & falsehoodes, have this fault withall: that these glavering fellowes doe plainly shewe, they count him, whome they court in this sorte, but a vaine, and arrogant bodie, an asse of grose capacitie, and so simple, y^t it should be an easie matter to baite him and take him too. And these Vaine and Curious Ceremonies, besides that they be superfluous: they beare with all a shape of flattery, so slenderly covered, that every man doth openly see them, and know them plaine: in suche sorte, that they that doe them, to the end to make a gaine, besides that ill that is in them, wherof I spake before: shewe them selves also, gentlemen ill taught, without good maner or any honest fashion.

But there is another sorte of Ceremonious people, who make it an arte and merchandise, and keepe a booke and a reconing of it. One these men (they say) they must smile, on such men they must laughe: and y^e better man shall sit in the chair, and the other uppon a lowe stoole: which superstitious Ceremonies, I beleve, were transported out of Spaine into Italie. But our country, hath geven them but colde entertainement, and as yet they have taken but slender roote here: for this precise difference of worship, and gentry, is not liked of, with us. And therefore it is but ill maner, for a man to make him selfe Judge, which is the better man.

But it is much worse for a man to make a sale of his Ceremonies and entertainments, (after y^e maner of harlots) as I have seene many gentlemen doe in the court, geving good wordes and faire countenaunces for a rewarde and recompence, of the goods and the time, their servaunts have spent in their service.

And sure they that take a pleasure to use over many Ceremonies, more then neede: shewe they doe it uppon a lustines and bravery, as men that have nothing elles in them of any valour.

And bycause these follies are learned w^t ease inough, and carry withall a litle faire glose in shewe: they bestowe all their whole mindes none other waye. But grave matters they can not abide to weelde, as things to farre above their reache: and coulde finde in their harts to dwell in these toyes and trifles, as men whose capacitie conceiveth nought of Importaunce: like tender milkesops that can beare no brunt: or that, beside a glorious outside, have not mettall inough in them to abide a flea biting. And therfore, they could wishe it were so: that these entertainments and acquaintance with men, should go no further then the first sight. And of these there bee an infinite number.

And some againe be to full of words, and abound to muche in curtious gestures to cover and hide the defects and faults of their treacheries, and their vile & base natures: For they see, if they should be as baren & rude in their woords, as they be in their deeds & their doings, men would in no case abide them. And to saye a trueth, yow shall finde y^t one of these two causes, drawe most men one, to use these wast and needles Ceremonies, and nothing els: which lightly most men cannot away withall, bycause they be hindered by them, & their meanes, to live as they would, and lose their libertie: whiche a man dothe preferre above anything ells.

Wee must not speake ill of other men, nor of their doings: althoughe it plainely appere, that men do willingly lend good eare to heare it, as easily moved therto, by y^e nature of malice and envy, that pines at our Neighbours prosperity and rising to worship & honour: for at length men will eschewe the acquaintaunce of Slaunderous people, as much as they shunne the Oxe, y^t goreth with his horns, or strikes w^t his feete: making their reconing, that what they tell them of us, asmuche they will tell us, of them.

And some ther be, that so quarel at every word, question, and wrangle, that they shew they have litle skill in other mens natures: for, Every man desireth the victory should go one his side: and hates it asmuche, to be mastered in words, as to be vanquished in any other acte that he dothe. So y^t, willfully to overthwart a man, it workethe no Love and good will: but rather displeasure, rancoure and malice. And therfore, he that sekes to be well thought of, and would be taken for a pleasaunt and good Companion, must not so redily use these speaches: It was not so: And, Nay: it is as I tell you. I wil lay a wager with you: But he must rather take pains, to apply himself to other mens minds concerning such things, as have matter of small importaunce: By cause the victorye, in such cases, is daungerous: for, the gaininge the cause, in trifling questions, dooth often loose the Love of a faithfull friend. And men are so farre out of love & liking, of such hot fellowes: that they will by no meanes growe acquainted with suche, least they be driven every hower to bralle, to chide, and to fighte with them for it. And suche kinde of people doe purchase these names: Maister Uniciguerra: Or, Sir Contraponi: Or, Sir Tuttesalle: And sometime: il Dottor suttile.

And if you chaunce otherwhile, to be intreated of the company to speake your mind: I would have you doe it after a gentle sort, without shewing your selfe so greedie to carry the bucklers away, as if you would eate them up for haste. But you must Leave to every man his parte: And bee it right or wronge, consent to the minds of the most, or the most importunate: and so leave the fielde unto them: that some other, and not your selfe, may beate and sweat, and chace in the winning of the cause. For these quarelous contentions, bee foule and ill favoured fashions for gentlemen to use: and they get them ill will and displeasure of all men for it: and they bee uncomely for their owne unseemelines, which of it selfe offendeth every good honest minde, as it may chaunce you shall heare hereafter.

But the common fault of men is such, and eche man is so infected with this selfe love and liking of him selfe: that he hath no respect or care to please any man ells.

And to shewe them selves fine headed, of muche understanding, and wise: they counsell, reprove, dispute, and bralle, to daggers drawing, and allowe nothing els but that they say them selves.

To offer advise, unrequested: what is it els but to vaunt youre selfe wiser then he is, whom you do counsell: nay rather it is a plaine checke to him, for his Ignoraunce and folly. And therfore, you must not do so, with all your acquaintance generally: but only with your very friendes, or suche whom you are to governe & rule: or els, when a man hapely standes in daunger & perill, how muche a straunger so ever he be. But in our common Acquaintance and conversation, Let us not busy our selves, and medle to muche with other mens doings. In which fault many doe fall: but most of all, the men of least understanding. For, Men of grose capacities consider but litle: And they take no longe time to debate with them selves, as men that have litle busines to doe.

But how so ever it be, hee that offereth and geveth his counsell: geves us to thinke, hee hathe this conceite of him selfe: that all the witt is in him, and other poore men have none at all.

And sure there bee some, that stand so muche in conceite of their wit: that they will be in maner, at warres, with him, that wil not follow the counsell they give them. And thus they will say: "Very well: a poore mans counsell will not be taken: suche a one will doe as he list: suche a one geves no heede to my wordes." As though there were not more Arrogancie in thee, that sekest to bring a man to followe thy Counsell: then there is in him, that followes his owne advise.

And they doe also make the like fault, y^t take uppon them to reprove and correct mens faults, and to geve a definite sentence in all things, and lay the lawe to all men. "Suche a thing would not be done: You spake suche woordes: Doe not so: say not so: The wine that you drinke is not good for you: it would be red wine. You should use suche an Electuarie, and suche pilles:" And they never leave to reprove and correct. And let us passe that over, that otherwhile, they busy them selves so much, to purge other mens grounds: that their owne is overgrowen, and full of thornes and nettles. For it is a mervailous paine unto them, to heare one that side.

And as there be few or none, whose minds can frame, to spend their life with a Physition, a Confessour, and muche lesse a Judge that hath jurisdiction and power to controwle and correct all criminall faultes: so is ther not one, that can take any pleasure to live, or make himself familiar with suche Censors: so hard, and severe. For, every man loveth libertye: and they woulde robbe us of it, and get to be our masters. So that it is no good manner to be so redie to corect and give rules unto men: we must geve Scholemasters and Fathers leave to do that. And yet that notwithstanding, experience doth shewe, the childeren and scholers both, do often hide them selves from them, you see.

I doe not allow, that a man should scorne or scoffe at any man, what so ever he be: no not his very enimy, what displeasure so ever he beare him: for, it is a greater signe of contempt and disdaine, to scorne a man, then to do him an open wrong: forasmuch as wrongs may be done, either of choler, or of som covetous minde or other. And ther is no man will take a displeasure with that, or for that, he doth not set by: nor yet covet that thing, he doth altogether contemne. So that, a man doth make some accompt of him he dothe wronge: but of him that he scoffes and scornes, he makes no reconing at all, or as litle as may be.

And the Nature and effect of a scorne, is properly to take a contentation and pleasure to do another man shame and villany: thoughe it do our selves no good in the world. So that, good maner & honesty, would us beware we scorne no man in any case: wherin they be much to be blamed, that reprove men those blemishes they have in their person, either in woords, as Master Forese da Rabatta did, laughing at the countenaunce of Master Giotta: or in deeds, as many doe, counterfeting those that stutter, haulte, or be crookte shoulderd. And likewise, they that scoffe at any man, that is deformed, ill shapen, leane, litle, or a dwarfe, ar much to be blamed for it: or, that make a gibing and jesting at such follies as another man speaketh, or the woordes that escape him by chaunce: and with all, have a sporte and a pleasure to make a man blush: all these spitefull behaviours and fashions, worthely deserve to be hated, and make them that use them, unworthy to beare the name of an honest gentleman.

And such as use to jest at a man, be very like unto these: I meane them that have a good sport to mocke and beguile men, not in spite or scorne, but on a meriment alone. And you shall understand, There is no difference betweene a scorne and a mocke: but the purpose alone and intent a man hath, in the meaning the one or the other. For a man mockes and laughes otherwhile, in a sport and a pastime: but his scorne is ever in a rage and disdaine. Although in common speache and writing, wee take the one woorde sometime for the other. But He that doth scorne a man: feeleth a contentation in the shame he hath done him: And hee that dothe mocke, or but laughe: taketh no contentation in that he hath done: but a sport, to be merry & passe the time away: where it would be, both a greefe and a sorrow, perchaunce, unto him, to see that man receave any shame, by any thing he said or did unto him.

And althoughe I profited litle, in my Grammar in my youthe; yet I remember that Mitio, who loved Aeschines so muche, that he him selfe had wonder at it; yet other while, toke a sporte & a pleasure to mocke him: as when he said to him selfe: I will go to give him a mocke: so that, I must inferre, that the selfe same thing, done to the very selfe same body: according to the intent of him that doth it, may be either a mocke or scorne.

And bycause our purpose, cannot be plainely knowne unto other men: it shall not be good for us to use such parts, as bring men in doubt and suspicion, what our intent and meaning is in them: but rather let us eschewe them, then seeke to be counted Jesters. For, It many times chaunceth, in boording and Jesting, one tackes in sporte, the other strikes againe in earnest: & thus from playing, they come to fraying. So, he that is familiarly mockte in pastime, recons it, otherwhile, to be done to his shame & dishonour, and therat he takes a disdaine. Besides this, A mocke is no better, then a deceite. And naturally, it greveth every man to erre and be deceived. So that, many Reasons ther be to prove, That He that seekes to purchase goodwill, and be well thought of: must not make him selfe to cunning in mockes and Jestes.

It is very true, we are not able, in no wise, to leade this paineful life, altogether without some pleasure and solace: And bycause Jestes do geve us some sporte, and make us merry, and so consequently refreash our spirits: we love them that be pleasaunt, merry conceited, and full of solace. So that a body would thinke, I should rather persuade the contrarie: I meane, I shoulde say: It is convenient and meete in company, to use prety mockes, and otherwhile some Jestes and taunts. And without doubt, they that can stint after a friendly and gentle sort, be muche more made of, and better beloved then they that cannot skill or have no wit to doe it. Howbeit, it is needeful in this, to have a respect to many things.

And forasmuche as it is the intent of him that doth Jest: to make a sport and pastime at his faulte, whome he doth love and esteeme, and of whom he doth make more then a common account: it must be well lookte to, that the fault, wherin his friend hath fallen, be suche, as he may sustaine no slaunder or shame, or any harme by any talke or Jeste he makes uppon it: otherwise, his skil doth ill serve him, to make a good difference betweene a pleasaunt Jest, and a very plaine wronge.

And there be some men, so short & so testy, that you must, in no wise, be merry, nor use any jesting with them. And that can Biondello well tell, by Maister Philippo Argenti in the gallery of Caviccioli.

And moreover, It cannot be good to jeaste in matters of weite, and muche lesse in matters of shame. For, men will weene that wee have a good sporte (as the common saying is) to bragge and boast in our evill: as it is said, the Lady Philippe of Prato, took a singular pleasure and contentation in the pleasaunt & prety aunswer she made, to excuse her loose and wanton life. And therefore, I cannot thinke that Lupo of Uberti did any thing extenuat or lessen his shame: but rather increaste it greater, by the Jeste that hee made to excuse his faulte, and qualifye the opinion of his cowardly minde. For, where he might have kept him selfe safe without daunger in the castle of Laterin, wherein he was besieged round about, and shutte up: hee thought hee had plaide the man good inoughe, in that hee could say at the yealding it up: that "A wolfe doth not love to be besieged and shutte up." For, where it is out of time for to laughe, there to use any Jestes or daliaunce, it hath a very colde Grace.

And further, you shall understand, there be some Jestes y^t bite, & some y^t bite not at all. For the first sorte: let y^t wise counsell that Lauretta gave for that point, suffice to teach you: That Jestes must bite the hearer like a sheepe, but not like a dogge. For if it pinche, as the bite of a dogge: it shalbe no more a Jeste but a wronge. And the lawes almost in all countries, will, that who saith any villanie unto a man, shalbe grevously punished for it. And, perchaunce, it were not amisse, to provide with all, some sharp correction for him, that should bite in way of jesting, beyond all honest measure. But gentlemen should make account, that the lawe that punisheth wronges, extendeth as farre to jestes, and that they should seldome or very easily nip or taunt any man.

And besides all this, you must understand, that a jest, whether it bite, or bite not, if it be not fine & full of wit, men take no pleasure at al to heare it, but rather are wearied with it: or at least wise, if they doe laughe, they laughe not at the jest, but at the jester him selfe, that brings it forthe so colde.

And bycause, Jestes be no other thing but deceites: and deceite (as a thing that is framed of subtilenes & craft) cannot be wrought but of men, that have fine and redy wittes, and very present: therefore they have no grace in men that be rude, and of grose understanding: not yet in them alwayes, that have the best and floweing wittes: as, peradventure, they did not altogether become Master John Boccaccio.

But tauntes and Jestes be a special redines and aptnes of wit, and quicken the motions of the minde: wherefore they that have discretion, doe not in this point, consider their will, but their disposition of nature: and after they have once or twise tried their wittes, and finde them unfit for suche purpose: they leave to labour them selves any further in that kind of exercise: that it may not chaunce unto them, that hapt to the knight of the lady Horetta. And if you looke in to the maners of many, you shall easily see, this that I tell you is true: I say, that To Jest or to taunt, is not currant with every man that will, but onely with them that can. And there be many that for every purpose, have in their mouth redy, many of these wordes, which wee call Bicticcichi: that have no maner of sense or meaning in them. And some, that use very foolishly and fondly to chaunge Sillables into woords. And some you shall heare speake and make answer, otherwise then a man would lightly looke for, without any wit or pleasure in the world in their talke. And if you doe aske them, "Doue e il signore?" they answer againe. "Doue egli ha i piedi:" and likewise "Et gli fece unguer le mani con le grascia di signore Giovan Boccadoro. Doue mi manda egli? Ad Arno. Io mi voglió radere, Sarebbe meglio rodere. Va chiama il Barbieri. Et perrhe non il Barbadomani." Al which be to grose, to rude and to stale: and such were almost, all the pleasaunt purposes and jestes of Dioneo.

But I will not take uppon me at this time, to discourse of the best and the worst kinde of jestes, what they be: aswel for that other men have written treatises thereof much more lernedly and better then I can: as also, bycause jestes and tauntes, have at first sight, a large and sure proofe of their grace or disgrace: such, as thou canst not do much amisse in this point, w^tout thou stand to much in thy owne conceite, and think to well of thy selfe: for where the jest is prety and pleasaunt, there a man straite is merry, and shewes a liking by laughing, and makes a kinde of admiration of it. So that, where the company geves foorth no liking of thy sportes and conceites, by their mirthes and their laughing: hould thy selfe still then, and jest no more. For it is thy owne faulte thou must think, and not theirs that do heare the: forasmuch as the hearers, as it were allured, with the redie, pleasaunt, and subtile aunswers or questions (do what they can, will they or nill they) cannot forbeare their laughing, but laughe in spite of their teeth. From whom as from our right & lawfull Judges, wee must not appeale to our selves.

Neither must a man, to make other men merie, speake foule and filthie wordes, nor make ilfavoured gestures, distorting his countenaunce, & disfiguring his bodie: For, No man should, for other mens pleasures, dishonest & dishonour him self. It is an arte for a Juggler & jester to use: it doth not become a gentleman to do so. We must not then, imitate y^e common and rude behaviours of Dioneo. Madonna Aldruda Alzate La coda.

Nor we must not counterfet our selves to be fooles & unsavorie doltes: but as time & occasion serveth, tell some pretie tale or some news, never heard of before, he y^t can: & he y^t cannot, let him hold his peace. For, these be y^e partes of y^e wit: which, if they be sodain & prety, give a proofe & a shew of y^e quicknes of y^e wit, & the goodnes of y^e maners of him y^t speakes them: which thing doth verie much please men & makes them our lovers & friends. But if they be otherwise, they woorke them a contrary effect. For, a man would weene the asse would play his parte: or y^t some hody dody & louberly lout would friske and daunce in his doublet. There is another pleasaunte kind of communication, & y^t is when y^e pleasure & grace doth not consist in one merrie conceite alone, but in long & continued talke: which would be well disposed, wel uttered, & very wel set forth, to shew y^e maners, y^e fashions, y^e gestures & behaviours of them we speke, of so properly & lively, as y^e hearer should think that he heareth them not rehearsed, but seeth them with his eyes do those very things he heares them to speak of: which be very well observed by the gentlemen and gentlewomen both, in Boccace: although yet otherwhile (if I be not deceived) they do affect and counterfet, more then is sightly for a gentleman or gentlewoman to doe, like to these Comedie Players. And to doe this well, you must have the matter, the tale, or the story, you take uppon you to tell, perfect in your minde: and woordes so redy and fit, that you neede not say in the end: "That thing, and tother thing: This man, what doe you call him: That matter, helpe me to terme it:" And, "remember what his name is." For this is just the trot of the knight of the Lady Horetta. And if you doe reherse any chaunce, in which there be many speakers: you must not say, "He said and he aunswered:" bycause this worde (He) serveth for all men. So that the hearer that harkens unto it, is easily deceived, and forgets whome you meane. Then, it behoves them that discourse matters at length, to use proper names, & not to chaunge them after.

And more over, a man must beware that he say, not those things, which unsaide in silence would make y^e tale pleasaunt inoughe and peradventure, geve it a better grace to leave them out. As to say thus. "Such a one, that was the sonne of such a one, that dwelt in Cocomer streete: do you knowe him? he maried the daughter of Gianfigliazzi, the leane scragge, that went so much to Saint Laraunce. No? do not you know him? why? do you not remember the goodly straight old man that ware long haire downe to his shoulders?" For if it were nothing materiall to the tale, whether this chaunce befell him, or him: all this long babble, and fond and folishe questions, were but a tale of a Tubbe: to no purpose, more then to weary mens eares that harken to it, and long to understand the end. As peradventure our Dant hath made this fault otherwhile, where he sayeth:

"And borne my parents were of yoare in Lumbardie,
And eke of Mantuaes soile they both by country be."

For, it was to no purpose, whether his mother were borne at Gazuolo, or ells at Cremona.

But I lerned once of a straunger, a Rethorician very lerned, a necessarie lesson concerning this poinct: that Men must dispose and order their tale, first with bynames, and then rehearse them (as neede is) that be proper. For, the bynames alwayes beare the respect of the persones qualitie: but the other are to be used at the Fathers discretion, or his whome they concerne.

And therfore, that bodie whome in your thought and imagination to your selfe, you doe conceive, might be Lady Covetousnes her selfe: in speache you shall call Maister Erminio Grimaldi: if suche be the common opinion, the countrie hathe of him. And, if there be no man in place where you dwell, so notoriously knowne as might serve the turne fit for your purpose: you must then imagine the case further of, and set him a name at your pleasure. It is very true, that With muche greater pleasure we harken and better beholde (as it were with our eyes) what soever is told us of men of our acquaintance, if the matter be suche as toucheth their maners: then what we doe heare of straungers and men unknowne unto us. And the reason is this: when wee doe knowe, that suche a man is woont to doe so: we doe easily beleeve, he hathe doone so indeede: and wee take asmuche knoweledge of him, as if wee were present: where it chaunceth not so with us, in the case of a straunger.

Our wordes (be it in longe discourses or other communication) Must be so plaine, that all the companie may easily understand them: and withall, for sounde and sense they must be apt and sweete. For if you be to use one of these two wordes: you shall rather say, Il ventre: then L'Epa. And where your country speache will beare it, you shall rather say: La Pancia, then il Ventre: Or, il Corpo. For, by these meanes you shalbe understoode, and not misse understoode, as we Florentines say, nor be darke and obscure to the hearers. The which thing our Poet, meaning to eschewe: in this very woorde it selfe (I beleve) sought to finde out another, not thinking muche of his paines (bycause it liked him wel) to seeke farre to borrow it els where. And said:

Remember how the Lorde a man was faine to be,
For mans offence and sinne in Cloister of virginitie.

And albeit Dant the learned Poet, did litle set by suche kinde of rules: I doe not think yet, a man should allow well of him in doing so. And sure, I would not councell you to make him your Maister in this point, to learne A Grace: forasmuche as he him selfe had none. For, this I finde in a Chronicle of him.

"This Dant, was somewhat proude for his knowledge, scornefull and disdainfull, and muche (as Philosophers be) without any grace or courtesie: having no skill to behave him selfe in company."

But to come to our purpose againe: I say, our speache must be plaine: which will be easie inough to doe: if you have wit to choose those wordes that be naturally bred in our soile: and with all not so olde w^t Age, that they are become rotten and withered: and as overworne apparell, leaft of and cast a side. As, Spaldo, and Epa, and Vopo, and Sezzaio, & Primaio. And moreover, the wordes you shall use, must have no double understanding, but simple. For by coupling suche wordes together: wee frame that speache that is called Aenigma. And to speake it plainer in our owne language, we call it Gergo. As in this verse:

Io vidi un che da sette passatoi
Fu da un canto all' altro trapassato.

Againe, our wordes would be, (as nere as they might be) aptly and properly applied to that thing we go about to deliver, & as litle as may be, common to other matters: for, in so doing, a man shall weene, the matter it selfe is openly laide before him: & that it is not expressed with wordes, but pointed foorthe with the finger. And therefore we may more properly say: A man is knowen by his countenaunce, then by his figure or counterfet. And Dant did better expresse the matter, when he saide,

"The weightes
That peize the weight doe make the balance creeke,"

Then if he had saide

"Crie out and make a noise."

And it is a more proper and peculiar speache to say, The shivering of an ague, then to call it The Colde. And flesh that is Tidie, to terme it rather, Fatte: then Fulsome.

Ther be some woordes more in this place to like effect, which I meane not to stande uppon now: bycause our Englishe tounge cannot hansomely deliver their perfect meaning. For the Italians have (as we have, and all other Countreis ells as well as wee) certaine peculiar wordes and termes, so naturally and properly their owne, as it is not possible to expresse them aptly and perfectly in any other Language. And therefore the Author him selfe, fearing, or knowing asmuche in the sense of these wordes, which he hath inferred in this place (as it were preventing a blame) in maner excuseth and speaketh asmuch as I say, as the matter it selfe that insueth doth shewe. For, the Author him selfe following his purpose saithe thus.

"I am well assured, if some straunger should, unhappely for my credite, hit uppon this treatise of mine: he would laughe mee to scorne, and say that I taught to speake in riddles, or els in Ciphers. For as muche as these wordes, be almost so properly our owne, that other countries have no acquaintance with them: or, if they woulde use them, yet they cannot tell how to understand them. For, who is it that knowes what Dant ment in this verse.

Gia veggia per Mezzul perdere o Lulla.

"Sure, I beleeve no man ells but we that are Florentines can understand it. Notwithstanding, for any thing that I have saide, if there be any fault in this text of Dant: it is not in the wordes. But, if he have faulted, it is rather in this: that (as a man somewhat wilfull) he would take uppon him, a matter harde to be uttered in wordes, and per adventure unplesaunt to heare: then that he hath exprest it ill."

It is not then for a man to use any talke, with him that understandeth not that language you talke unto him. Nor yet, bycause a Douche man understandes not the Italian tounge, must wee (for that cause) breake of our talke, to holde talke with him, to make our selves counterfets, as Maister Brusaldo did, and as some other be woont, that fondly and coldly, without any grace, thrust them selves in to Chat in their language with whome they talke, what so ever it be, and chop it out every worde preposterously. And many times it chaunceth, the Spaniard talkes Italian with the Italian, and the Italian babbles againe in a bravevery and gallantnes, the Spanishe toung with the Spaniard. And yet, it is an easier thing to know, y^t they both talke like strangers: then to forbeare to laugh at the folish follies that scape them both in speache. Let us not therfore use our forreigne language, but when it is needefull for us to be understoode, for some necessitie or other, that appertaineth unto us: And in common use, use our owne tounge, thoughe not altogether so good: rather then a forreigne language, better then our owne that is naturall unto us. For a Lumbarde shall speake his owne tounge more aptly (which is, notwithstanding, but base and barbarous) then he shall speake the Tuscane, or other language: even bycause he hath not so redily, so proper and peculiar wordes, althoughe he studie much for them, as wee our selves that be Tuscanes.

But yet, if a man have a respect to them with whome he talkes: and for that cause forbeare & leave out those singular wordes, (which I have spoken of) and in stede of them use the generall and common: his talke, by suche meanes, shall have the lesse pleasure & delight.

Besides this, it becometh everie honest gentleman, to eschewe those wordes that have no honest meaning. And, The goodnes of wordes consisteth either in their sound, or pronouncing: or, in their sense and meaning. For as much as som wordes speake an honest matter, and yet, perchaunce, there is a certaine unhonest sense perceaved to stand in the pronouncinge of the worde it selfe: as Rinculare: which, notwithstanding, is daily used of all men. But if a man or woman should speake after this sorte, & at that verie warning doe it in sight of any (che si dice il farsi indietro) then would the grosenesse of the worde plainlie appeare unto them. But our Palate, throughe Custome and Use, happilie tasteth y^e wine (as it were) and the bestnes of the sense of the worde, and not y^e Dregges or Leeze.

She gave the Spanish figge with both her thumbes at once.

Saith Dant.

But our women, would be much ashamed to speake so: yea to shunne this ambiguous woord, y^t signifieth a worse matter, they rather say Le castagne. Albeit yet some of them at unwares, many times, name that unadvisedly, which if another man had spoken to trie them, would have made them blushe to heare that remembred in way of blasphemie, which makes them women. And therefore, suche as be, or would be better mannered or taught, take good heede they doe eschewe, not only things uncleane and unhonest, but woordes also: and not somuche those that be evill indeede, but those that may be, or doe but seeme to be unhonest, foule & filthie: as some men say these are of Dant.

She blewe large blastes of winde
Both in my face and under.

Or els these.

I pray thee tell mee where about the hole doth stand.

And one of the Spirits said.

Then come behinde and where the hole is, it may be scand.

And you must knowe, that albeit two, or moe wordes, otherwhile chaunce to tell one selfe thinge, yet the one is more cleanly then the other. As for example, to say: Con lui giacque, & Della sua persona gli sodisfece. For this self same speach, if it were in other termes, would be to broad before & to filthie to heare it. And speaking of Endymion, you may more aptly say: Il Vago della Luna: then you can say Il Drudo, althoughe both these wordes doe import and signifie A lover, and a Friend. And a much honester speache is it, if you talke of Aurora, to call, her. Tritons prety gerle and lover, then Concubine. And it better becomes a mans and womans mouth, to call Harlots, women of the worlde (as Belcolore did, who was more ashamed to speake it then to doe it) then to use their common name: Thaide è la Puttana. And as Boccace declared y^e power of Meretrici and Ragazzi. For, se cosi hauesse nominato dall'arte loro i maschi, come nominò le femine; his talke would have byn foule & shamefull. And withall, A man must not alone beware of unhonest and filthie talke: but also of that whiche is base and vile, and especially where a man talketh & discourseth of greate and highe matters. And for this Cause, perchaunce, woorthely some blame our Beatrice, sayeing:

To passe throughe Lethes floud, the highest Fates would blott,
If man mighte taste the Viandes suche, as there dooe fall by Lott,
And not pay firste a due repentaunce for his scott.

For, in my conceite, these base wordes that come out of the Tavernes, bee verie uncomely for suche a worthy discourse. And when a man hathe like occasion to speake of y^e Sunne, it shall not be good to call it The Candell or the Lampe of the world: bycause such woordes do put us in minde of y^e Oyle, & the stuffe of the kitchin. Neither should a man that is well advised, say that Saincte Dominicke was Il Drudo della Theologia: Nor yet talke, that the glorious Sainctes have spoken suche base and vile woordes: As for Example to say.

And leave to scratche whereas the scabs of sinne breake out.

For they savour of y^e dregges, & y^e filth of y^e common people, as every man may easily see.

Againe, in your long and large discourses, you must have y^e like considerations & cares, & some more: y^e which you may more commodiously learne of your Maisters y^t teache you y^t arte, that is commonly called Rhetorike.

And amongest other things, You must accustome your selfe, to use suche gentle and courtious speache to men, and so sweete, that it may have no maner of bitter taste. And you shall rather say, I cannot tell how to say it: Then say: you ar deceived: Or, it is not true: Or, you know it not. For, it is a courteous and friendly parte to excuse a mans faulte, even in that very thing, wherein you know how to blame him. And withall, it doth well, to make the proper and peculiar fault of your friend, indifferent and common to you both: and first, to take one piece to your selfe, and then after, to blame and reprove him for it. Wee were deceived and failed muche: we forgot our selves yesterday to doe so. Althoughe suche negligence & errour, or what soever it be: be altogether his fault and not yours. And Restagnone forgat him selfe muche, when he saide to his companions: If your wordes doe not lie. For, A man should not bring another mannes faithe and honestie in question and doubte. But, if a man promise you any thing, and doe not performe it: it shall not doe well, for you to say unto him, You have lost your credite with mee: without some necessarie cause doe drive you to say so, as to save your owne credite and honestie. But, you shall rather say: You could not do it: Or, you did not remember to doe it: Then, you have cleane forgotten mee. For, these kinde of speaches, have some prickles & stinges of Complaint, Anger and Choler. So that, suche as use them selves to speake suche churlishe and fumishe woordes, are taken for sharpe and sower fellowes: & men doe asmuche shunne their acquaintance: as to thrust them selves uppon thornes and thistles.

And bycause I knowe som, of this naughtie condition & qualitie: I meane some y^t be so hastie and greedy to speake, y^t they take not the sense with them, but over passe it and runne before it, as the grehound, that doth not pinche by overshooting his game: ther fore I will not spare to tell you that, which may be thought needeles to touche, as a thing to well knowen: and that is, that You shall never speake, before you have first considered & laide the plot in your minde what it is you have to saie. For in so doing, your talke shalbe well delivered and not borne before the time. I trust, straungers will easily beare with this worde: if at least they vouchsafe to read these trifles of mine. And if you doe not skorne my preceptes: it shall never chaunce you to say: "welcome Maister Agostino," to such a one, whose name is Agnolo, or Bernardo. And you shal never need to say, "Tell me your name:" Nor say againe, "I saide not well:" Nor, "Lorde what doe I call him:" Nor to hack and to stutter long together, to finde out a worde, "Maister Arrigo:" no "Master Arabico:" Tushe, what doe I call him I should say, "Maister Agabito." These fonde & foolish behaviours & fashions, paine a man as much to heare them, as to be drawne and haled with cordes.

The voice would be neither hoarse nor shrill. And, when you laugh and sporte in any sorte: you must not crye out and criche like the Pullye of a well: nor yet speake in your yawning. I knowe well it is not in us, to geve our selves a ready tongue or perfect voice at our owne will and pleasure. Hee y^t doth stutter, or is hoarse: let him not alwayes bable and gabbe, and keepe a courte alone: let him rather amend the defect of his tounge with silence, and hearinge: and withall (if hee can) with studie diminishe the fault of Nature. It is an ill noise to heare a man raise his voice highe, like to a common Crier. And yet I would not have him speake so lowe and softly, that he that harkens, shall not heare him. And if he be not heard at y^e first time he speaketh, he must speake, the next time, somewhat plainer: but yet, not yoape out aloude, that he make not men thinke he is woode and angry with them: for hee shall doe but well, to rehearse that againe he hath spoken, y^t men may understand what he said.

Your wordes would be disposed, even as the common use of speache doth require and not unsorted, disordered and scattered confusedly: as many be woont to doe uppon a bravery, whose maner of talke is more like a Scrivener (me thinke) that readeth in his mother tounge, the Indenture he hath written before in latine: then a man that reasoneth or talketh in his Naturall language: as this for example.

They drawe by sent of false and fained steps of truth.

Or if a man should preposterously place his wordes thus.

Those times did blossomes geve before their time of soothe.

Which maner of speache, may be otherwhile allowed in versifiers: but it is utterly forbidden in common talke.

And, it behoves a man, not onely to shunne this versifying maner of speache, in his familiar and common discourse, or talke: but likewise eschewe y^e pomp, bravery, & affectation, that may be suffered and allowed to inriche an Oration, spoken in a publike place. Otherwise, men that doe heare it, will but spite it, and laughe him to scorne for it.

Albeit perchaunce, a Sermon may shewe a greater cunning and arte, then common talke. But, Everie thing must have his time and place. For, he that walkes by the way must not daunce, but goe. For, every man hath not the skill to daunce, yet every man can skill to goe. But, Dauncing is meete for feastes & weddings: it is not to use in the stretes. You must then take good heede you speake not with a majestie.

It is thought by many Philosophers.

And suche is all Filocolo, and the other treatises of Maister John Boccace, except his greater woorke, and litle more perchaunce Corbaccio.

I would not for al this, that you should use so base a speache, as y^e scum, as it were, and the froth of the meanest and vilest sorte of people, Launderers & Hucksters: but suche as gentlemen should speake & talke, which I have partly told you before, in what sort it may be done: that is, if you talke of matters that be neither vile, vaine, fowle, nor lothesome. And if you have skill to choose amongest the woords of your owne countrie speache, the purest and most proper, suche as have the best sounde, and best sense, touching nor remembring, in no case, no matter that is foule, vile and base: & if you can place your woords in good order, and not shoofle them together at random, nor yet, with over muche Curious studie, file them (as it were) one your beades. Moreover, if you do dispose such things as you have to say with discretion. And take good hede that you couple not unfit & unlikely matters together: as for Example.

As sure as God is in Heaven:
So stands the staffe in the chimny corner.

And if you speake not so slowe, as if you were unlustie: nor so hasty, as if you wer hungrie: but as a wise and a temperate man should doe. Likewise, if you pronounce youre woords and your sillables with a certaine grace & sweetnes: not as a Scholemaister y^t teacheth young Children to read & to spell. Neither must you mumble them nor supp them up, as if they were glued & pasted together one to another. If you remember these and such other rules and precepts: youre talke will be liked, and heard with pleasure enoughe: and you shall well maintaine the state and countenaunce, that well besemeth a gentleman well taught and honest.

Besids these, there be some, that never hould their tounge. And as the shippe that sailes, doth not presently stand still, by taking downe the sailes: So doe they runne forward, as caried away with a certaine braide: and loosing the matter of their talke, yet leave not to babble, but either repeate that againe that is said, or els speake still they cannot tell what.