Chapter V: Introduction (5)

PRE. _I'll be a park, and thou shalt be my deer:_
He is very busy in his study.
_Feed where thou wilt, in mountain or on dale:_
Stay awhile, he will come out anon.
_Graze on my lips, and when those mounts are dry,_
_Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie._
Go thy way, thou best book in the world!

VEL. I pray you, sir, what book do you read?

PRE. A book that never an orator's clerk in this kingdom but is
beholden unto; it is called "Maids' Philosophy, or Venus and
Adonis." Look you, gentlemen, I have divers other pretty books.

DRAP. You are very well-stored, sir; but I hope your master
will not stay long.

PRE. No, he will come presently.

_Enter_ MECHANT.

VEL. Whom have we here? another client, sure.
Crows flock to carcases: O, 'tis the Lord Mechant.

MECH. Save you, gentlemen; sir, is your master at any leisure?

PRE. _Here sit thee down, where never serpent hisses,_
_And being set, I'll smother thee with kisses._[190]
His businesses yet are many, you must needs attend awhile.

MECH. We must attend; umph! even snails keep state,
When with slow thrust their horns peep forth the gate.
We must attend! 'tis custom's fault, not mine,
To make men proud, on whom great favours shine:
Tis somewhat 'gainst my nature to attend,
But when we must, we must be patient;
A man may have admittance to the king
As soon as to these long-robes, and as cheap.
Come, gentlemen, shall we walk?
Thus are the pavement-stones before the doors
Of these great tongue-gilt orators worn smooth
With clients dancing 'fore[191] them.

VEL. It's strange to see how the world waits upon them: therein
they are the only men now.

MECH. O, only; they of all men in request.
Your physician is the lawyer for your health,
And moderates unruly humours best.
Others are nobody compar'd with him:
For all men neglect their health in regard of their profit.

DRAP. True, and that's it makes these men grow so fat--
Swell with rich purchases?

MECH. Yea, with golden fees
And golden titles too; they can work miracles,
And, like creators, even of empty nothing
Erect a world of goodly livings, fair demesnes
And gallant manors, heap'd one on another.

VEL. They gain indeed excessively, and are not like us citizens,
Expos'd to hazard of the seas and traffic.

MECH. Why, here's a fellow now, this orator,
Even Prate--you would little think it, his father was
An honest proiner[192] of our country vines;
Yet he's shot to his foot-cloth[193].

DRAP. O, he is! he proined him well, and brought him up to learning.

MECH. Faith, reasonable learning; a smattering in the Latin tongue.
A little rhetoric, with wrangling sophistry,
Were his preparatives unto his art.

VEL. After these preparatives (if you call them so)
The physic wrought well; for a few years' practice
Brought him in wondrous credit, and preferments
Came tumbling in: O, such a sudden rise
Hath Fortune for her minions! blame him not then,
Though he look high on't.

MECH. Nay, for his pride, of weaker souls term'd state,
It hurts none but himself.

DRAP. Yet to my seeming it is very strange,
That from so base beginning men can breathe
Such soaring fames.

MECH. Strange! it's not strange a whit,
Dunghills and marish bogs dart store of vapours
And viscous exhalations against heaven,
Which borrowing lustre there (though basely bred)
Seem yet like glorious planets, fairest stars,
To the weak eyes of wond'ring ignorance,
When wise men know they are but meteors.
But here comes the orator.

_Enter_ PRATE.

PRATE. What, Precedent, I say!
Come and attend me to the senate-house.

PRE. I am ready, sir; if you have _copia verborum_,
I have _copia rerum_, in a buckram bag here.

PRATE. Your lordship's pleasure!

MECH. Master orator, 'tis not unknown--my suit--

PRATE. Nay, your lordship must be brief, I'll not attend
The shallow sleight of words--your suit, your suit.

MECH. The restoration of my lands and honours.

PRATE. They are confiscate.

MECH. My lands confiscate, and my body free?

PRATE. My lord, my lord, the queen's more merciful.

MECH. Sir, you forget my place.

PRATE. Sir, you forget your faith:
'Twas known unto the queen, the state, and us,
Your malcontented spirit, your disease in duty,
Your diligent perturbance of the peace!
Your passages, occurrences, and--

MECH. Sir!

PRATE. Sir me no sirs,
Do not I know you were the chief of those,
Which rais'd the war in Sicil? and long since
Wrought in the king's laws[194] bloody business?
Did not you hold fair quarter and commerce
With all the spies of Cyprus? fie, I am asham'd
Blind impudence should make you be so bold,
To bear your face before authority.

MECH. But hear me.

PRATE. I will hear no reply;
Go home, repent, pray, and die.
Come, gentlemen, what's your businesses?

VEL. Your confirmation to his highness' grant touching our
trade with Spain, in which if it please you to assist us, we
have a thousand crowns which shall attend you.

PRATE. O, I have you in my memory: the suit is great, and I
must squeeze forth more than a thousand crowns. [_Aside._]
Well, attend me to the senate; you shall have fair despatches.

[_Exeunt all but_ MECHANT.

MECH. _I'll not attend the shallow sleight of words,_
_Go home, repent, pray, and die!_
Excellent precepts for an orator's chamber.
Where speech must bathe a handful deep in gold,
Till, the poor giver's conduit being dry,
The wretch goes home, doth curse, repent, and die.
It is thy counsel, orator, thy stale[195] breath,
Good only but to season infamy,
But[196] this reproach, this uncaressing humour
Hath taught my soul a new philosophy.
I will go home, and there repent all good
Done to thy name or thy profession;
I will go home, and there new-frame myself
More thirstily pernicious to thy state
Than war or unabated mutiny.
As for my prayers, orator, they are for thee.
Thou hast a pretty, lovely, witty wife:
O, may'st thou live both to be known and know
Thyself the greatest cuckold in our land;
And yet not dare to amend or grieve at it!
May'st thou embrace thy shame with thankful arms,
Hug thy disgrace, make thy black poison wine,
And cap and crouch to thy dishonour!
May thy remembrance live, upon my knees I pray,
All night in bellmen's mouths, with Pasquil[197] in the day!

[_Retires._

_Enter_ ALPHONSO _unbraced_.

ALPH. Day be my speed, night shall not cloak my sin,
If I have nought to do, it's by the sun,
The light gives leave to all mine idleness.
Quick business and ope eyes seize on mine orator,
Whilst I create him horny precedents.

_Enter_ COLLAQUINTIDA.

But here's my bed-broker. Now, my great armful of good
intelligence, where is my mistress?

COL. Fast locked in her bed, with a close ward to devour thee,
my brave Paraquito:[198] but hush! no words; there is a calm
before the tempest.

ALPH. Tut, tell me of no storms; but direct me to her
bed-chamber, my noble firelock of a flesh pistol.

COL. Follow thy colours, my brave worthy, mount up thy
standard: so enter and prosper.

[_She puts_ ALPHONSO _into the orator's house_.

Thou hast a rich room, safe locks, sweet sheets, a choice
armful, with, O, the rare, rare thought of imagination.

MECH. What's this, what's this? Doth this Lord Alphonso turn
the orator to an antelope? 'Tis more than excellent,

And from the juice of this despite I suck
Delight more great than all my miseries.
Observe, dear eyes, observe. [_Aside._

COL. Nay, go thy way for a camel or a camelion; thou mayest
compare with all Europe, Afric, and Asia; and one that will
change tricks, though thou wert worthy to be schoolmaster
either to Proteus or Aretine: what an excellent gift did God
give unto man when he gave him woman; but how much more when
that woman was made fair! But O, the most of all when she had
wit to use every member of her creation. Well, I'll stand to't,
there's nothing but beauty, use, and old age that puts women of
my rank out of request; and yet like old bucklers, though few
of your gallant cavaliers will wear us, yet many of your stale
ruffians will employ us, and that's our comfort still.

MECH. Was ever heard a bawd more damnable!
A very mountebank of wench-flesh, an empiric,
A dog-leech for the putrified sores
Of these lust-canker'd great ones. O, I could
Even mad myself with railing at their vices.
[_Aside._ PRATE _knocks at the door_.
But hark! one knocks: O, for the orator!
Heavens, I beseech thee, O, for the orator!

COL. How now, who knocks so rudely at the door?

PRATE. 'Tis I, I say: open the door: I am in haste.

MECH. 'Tis he, just heavens, 'tis he, 'fore God, the orator.

[_Aside._

COL. Soul of my bawdy office; how are we betray'd!
Anon, anon, sir. What, Mistress Prate, I say;
Arise for shame, your husband's at the door,
I come, I come; Lord God, how dull you are
When danger's at your heels! rise quickly.

PRATE. Open the door, or I will break it ope.

COL. I come, I come; I think he's mad with haste.
What, John; what, Thomas, Robert, where's these knaves?
What, Julian, Mary, Cicely, ne'er a maid within?

LOL. For God's love, stay; I'll find the key straightway.

_Enter_ LOLLIA, _and_ ALPHONSO _in his shirt_.

O Mistress Collaquintida, what shall become of us?

COL. Nay, I'm at my wit's end, and am made
Duller than any spur-gall'd, tired jade.

ALPH. 'Sfoot, if he enter, I will break his neck.

LOL. Not for a world, dear love, step into my closet.

ALPH. Did ever slave come thus unluckily?

LOL. Nay, now's no time for passion; good lord, in.

[_Exit_ ALPHONSO.

_Enter_ PRATE.

COL. Fie! I have almost broke my heart with running.

LOL. How now, dear husband, what hath mov'd this haste?

PRATE. I think I was not bless'd this morning when I rose; for
through my forgetfulness I have left behind me in my study the
breviates of all my causes, and now the senate is fain to dance
attendance on my leisure; fie, fie, fie! [_Exit_ PRATE.

LOL. Nay, if he smell nothing but papers, I care not for his
dry foot-hunting,[199] nor shall I need to puff pepper in his
nostrils; but see, he comes again.

_Enter_ PRATE, _and, stumbling at his wife's bed, sees_
ALPHONSO'S _rich apparel lying thereon_.

PRATE. I think the devil hath laid his horns in my way.

MECH. Yes, and if you had wit, you might conjure him out of
your wife's closet. [_Aside._

PRATE. _Sancte Benedicite_, what have we here?
Hath the golden snake cast his skin upon our bed?

Go to, wife; I smell, I smell! methinks your plain rug should
not agree with this rich counter-point.

LOL. Husband, either I have fitted you now, or else I shall
never fit you, whilst I breathe.
You oft have told me, that like those of your rank,
Who both adorn their credits and themselves,
Yea, even their causes with their costly clothes,
Yourself in like sort would strive to imitate;
And now my neighbour here hath brought this suit,
Which if you please to buy, 'tis better cheap
Than e'er 'twas made by full five thousand crowns.

PRATE. Say'st thou me so, wench? a kiss for that, i' faith;
'Fore God, it is a delicate fine suit,
Rich stuff, rare work, and of the newest fashion:
Nay, if the senate's business were never so hasty,
I will stay to try it on; come, help;
Good wenches, help. So, there, there, there.

[_The orator puts on_ ALPHONSO'S _apparel_.

MECH. 'Sfoot, will the ox put on the lion's hide!
He will, he will, 'tis more than excellent;
So gild the tomb that holds but rottenness!
Laughter, I fear, will burst me; look how he struts.
O God, that ever man should look
Upon this maumet,[200] and not laugh at him!

[_Aside._

PRATE. Fit, fit, excellent fit, as though
The body it was made for wore my mould.
Wife, I will have it: we'll dispute no price.

_Enter_ VELOURS.

VEL. Master orator, the senate are set, and can despatch no
causes through your absence; therefore they earnestly entreat
your presence.

PRATE. I come, I come; good friend, go, say I come.
And, wife, see that
You pay for this suit, whatsoe'er it cost. [_Exit_ PRATE.

MECH. Not above making you cuckold: that's the most.

LOL. What, is he gone?

COL. He is.

_Enter_ ALPHONSO _in his shirt_.

LOL. Why, then, come forth, poor naked lord.

ALPH. What, is he gone? May the devil and his horns both follow
him!

LOL. He is gone; but yet he hath discover'd your treason.

ALPH. How?

COL. Yes, and in revenge thereof hath vowed that in this naked
sort as you are you shall do penance through the city for your
sin of unchastity.

ALPH. I pray thee, leave thy woman's phrase, and speak, like a
man, plainly, plainly.

LOL. Then plainly thus--he is gone, and hath taken away your
apparel.

ALPH. Upon what accident?

LOL. This: when your negligence had left your clothes upon my
bed, he espied them, tasked me for the owner; I, in excuse,
told him it was a suit brought by my gossip to be sold; he
straight, like a child proud of a new coat, presently puts it
on, presently is sent for to the senate, and at this present
hath left you, that the world may behold your naked doings.

ALPH. I would it were washed in the blood of a centaur,[201]
that when he puts it off, his skin might follow it: but how
shall I get to my chamber?

LOL. Truly, I know not, except you will wear a smock's upper
coat.

ALPH. What, a petticoat? you mad me with your mirth.

LOL. Then seriously thus: as he hath ta'en your clothes, you
must take his; and let the world know you have had more than
fiddler's fare, for you have meat, money, and cloth.

ALPH. 'Sfoot, how shall I look in this devil's suit? sure, I
shall grow sick to see my shape.

LOL. Well, extremity must then be your physic; but come, you
shall attire yourself in my chamber.

[_Exeunt_ ALPHONSO, LOLLIA, _and_ COLLAQUINTIDA.

MECH. Are these the winding turns of female shames,
Loose woman's gambols, and the tricks of sin?
And are we born to bear these suffrages?
O, he that's tied unto a brothel bed
Feels his worst hell on earth, and may presume
There is no sickness like his pestilence.
Well, what the issue of this jest will prove,
My wit but yet conceives, and aftertime
Shall perfect it and give it liberty,
In such sort that, if it true fire strike,
A world of apes shall study for the like. [_Exit._

_Enter the_ DUKE OF EPIRE _alone_.

EPIRE. My thoughts are troubled, joy forsakes me quite,
And all my meditations are revenge:
Ambition and fell murder join in one,
And aid each other to untwine a state,
And make whole millions prove unfortunate.
Now must I practise court-art, flattery,
And wisely temporise with blackest deeds:
I'll smile and stab: now weep, then laugh, then frown,
And with sly tricks of state kill all suspicion;
Devils must seem like angels, saith ambition.
The blackest thoughts I'll study to excel;
Crowns and revenge have made men dive to hell.
My plot is current, and it cannot miss,
Whilst wisdom winds me on the clue of bliss.
The king shall kill the queen; that acted right,
I soon will turn his brightest day to night.
He's simple, honest, and loves downy rest;
Then he must fall: 'tis policy in state
To hurl them down are bless'd with happy fate.
Thus each shall scourge himself with his own rod;
Who is all policy avows no God--
Who is within there, ho?

_Enter_ FLORIO.

FLO. Did your grace call?

EPIRE. I did; where's the king?

FLO. He's in his privy chamber playing at chess.

EPIRE. Go straight, and tell him I must speak with him,
And say my business doth import great haste.

FLO. I go, my lord. [_Exit._

EPIRE. Be a bless'd Mercury: now mount thee up, my spirit,
And show thyself a politician;
Let slander rule thy tongue, envy thy heart,
And let destruction be the[202] period
Of what thou speak'st; for this my maxim is:
But rule no heaven, and but revenge no bliss.

_Enter_ CYPRUS, FLORIO, _and Attendants_.

Here comes the king. My lord, we must be private[203].

CYP. Remove your hearings from our conference.
[_Exeunt_ FLORIO, _&c._
Now speak, my lord, speak freely, as to heaven.

EPIRE. First with my knee I kiss this prostrate earth,
And humbly beg that which my tongue shall speak,
So it proceed from love and vassalage,
May bear a pardon or forgetfulness.

CYP. You have it; rise, discharge an open breast.

EPIRE. O my dread liege, my speech will make you sad--
And kings do seldom relish their distastes--
And from that sadness such a storm will rise
As will even drown up all credulity.
O, that my loyal heart could cover sin,
Or that my tongue, inured unto grief,
Might lose its spleen, ere it distemper you!
But love and mine allegiance bid me speak.

CYP. Then speak, and do not rack me with delay.

EPIRE. Women, why were you made for man's affliction?
The first that ever made us taste of grief,
And last of whom in torments we complain:
You devils shap'd like angels, through whose deeds
Our forked shames are made most visible!
No soul of sense would wrong bright majesty,
Nor stain their blood with such impurity.

CYP. Nay, good lord, leave this allegoric speech,
And give me knowledge from a plainer phrase.

EPIRE. Then plainly thus: your bed is press'd with lust,
I know you do not credit--nay, what's more,
I know you hate me for my virtuousness:
Your queen behaves her like a courtesan:
I know you hold me for a vile impostor!
O foolish zeal, that makes me be so fond
To leave my faith unto black censuring.
O, she hath sinn'd, and done a double wrong
To you and to her[204] sacred chastity.

CYP. Duke, thou art valiant, and with a valiant mind
Slander is worse than theft or sacrilege,
Nay more, than murder or the height of treason--
A step beyond the utmost plagues in hell.
Then thou, which in that nature wrong'st a queen,
Deserv'st a scourge beyond their punishments;
Virtue should kill thee now.

EPIRE. Nay, do: my breast is bare unto thy steel.
Kill me, because I love thee and speak true.
Is this the merit of a Roman faith?
For this have I observ'd, pry'd in unto,
And search'd each secret shift of vanity?
Nay, pray you kill me; faith, I'll patient stand.
Live still a monster, hold shame in your hand.

CYP. Speak a word more! a king shall be thy death.

EPIRE. Death is a slave to him that is resolv'd,
And my soul loathes this servile flattery,
Nor will I cover such intemperate sin,
But to the world make them and that transparent,
Unless yourself will seek to right yourself.

CYP. Thou hast awak'd me, and thy piercing words
Have split my sense in sunder: yet what ground
Remains whereon to ground suspicion?
A cuckold, cuckold, ha!

EPIRE. Your absence is the bawd to her desires,
For their masques, dancings, gaming, banquetting,
Strange private meetings, and all toils in love,
As wanton speeches to stir appetite,
And all enchantments that inflame desire:
When you return, then all is hush'd and still,
And she demurely walks like virtue's ghost.
Before your face she's like a puritan:
Behind your back a blushless courtesan.

CYP. O, I have drank in poison at mine ears,
Which makes my blood boil with unquenched flames.
But speak, who is it that dishonours me?

EPIRE. He that you prize a line before your life;
I know you will not credit--faith you will not.

CYP. Nay, if thou cease to speak, thou hat'st my life;
Tak'st thou delight to kill me? then forbear:
'Sfoot, I am mortal man, kill me, do, do![205]

EPIRE. Your best of friends, your dearest Philocles,
Usurps your bed, and makes you a cornute.
A creature uncreate in paradise,
And one that's only of a woman's making.

CYP. Is't possible! can I give faith to this?

EPIRE. Nay, be but patient, smooth your brow a little,
And you shall take them, as they clip each other,
Even in their height of sin[206], then damn them both,
And let them sink before they ask God pardon,
That your revenge may stretch unto their souls.

CYP. To be a cuckold doth exceed all grief.

EPIRE. To have a pleasant scoff at majesty.

CYP. To taste the fruit forbidden from my tree!

EPIRE. But he shall lose his paradise for that.

CYP. The slave will make base songs in my disgrace.

EPIRE. And wound your reputation in strange lands.

CYP. This injury sads all my joys on earth.

EPIRE. Horns are not shunn'd by wisdom, wealth, or birth.

CYP. Watch their close meetings, and then give us notice;
Mean space, my love shall in thy bosom rest.
My grief is like my birth, great--great and high.
Give close intelligence: till then farewell.
Lust is the broadest path which leads to hell.

[_Exit_ CYPRUS.

IRE. He's gone with black suspicion in his heart:
And his soul made a slave to jealousy,
My plots shall drive him to his own destruction;
And I gain both revenge and dignity.
He shall no sooner put his queen to death,
But I'll proclaim her spotless innocence;
All men will hate him for so vile an act,
And mad with rage depose him from his crown.
Then I will be his death: his state doth give:
Kings once depos'd long after must not live.
For, like a ph[oe]nix rare in jealousy,
He shall consume himself in scorching flames,
Whilst from his ashes I a phoenix spring.
Many renounce their God to be a king,
And I'll be one to kill men with a frown,
None dare dispute the actions of a crown. [_Exit._

FOOTNOTES:

[180] [Edits., _thee_.]

[181] Alluding to the old law for pressing prisoners who refused to plead.

[182] _i.e._, Dove's down.--_Steevens._

[183] Another allusion to the book mentioned in "Eastward Hoe!" Since the note on that passage was written, I have discovered that there were two books with titles nearly similar: one of them, "The Seckman's Salve," by Thomas Becon, 8o, 1591: and the other: "The Salve of a Sickman; or, A treatise concerning the nature, difference, and kinds of death," by William Perking, 8o, 1595. [It does not appear at all necessary to conclude that any partcular look is referred to.]

[184] Mr Reed, without any authority from the old copies, and without the slightest notice, gave the lines that follow to Alphonso, and inserted his name accordingly: they are most clearly a continuation of Epire's speech: he draws the distinction between their situations.--_Collier._

[185] The omission of this repetition of the words _and thus_, has hitherto spoiled the measure.--_Collier._

[186] _Reap a palace_ in both quartos.--_Collier._

[187] [Edits., _my_.]

[188] [Edits., _my_.]

[189] These lines are the 39th stanza of "Venus and Adonis," by Shakespeare.

[190] Two lines from the third stanza of "Venus and Adonis."

[191] [Edits., _for_. Reed's emendation.]

[192] _i.e._, Pruner. Chaucer, in the "Merchant's Tale," says of Damian, that

"He kembeth him, he _proineth_ him, and piketh."

--_Steevens._

[193] Horse with housings.--_Steevens._

[194] [Edits., _loves_.]

[195] [Edits., _tale_.]

[196] [Old copy, _From_.]

[197] The name of an image on a post in Rome, to which defamatory libels are affixed.--_Steevens._

[198] A parroquet, or small sort of parrot. See Altieri's "Italian Dictionary," in the English part. She gives him this name on account of his prating.--_Pegge._

[199] To draw _dry foot_, as Dr Gray observes, is when the dog pursues the game by the scent of the foot, for which the bloodhound is famed. See Mr Steevens's note to the "Comedy of Errors," act iv. sc. 2.

[200] A puppet. Mr Tollet supposes it to be a corruption of Mahomet. See several instances of the use of this word in Mr Steevens's note on "The First Part of King Henry IV.," act ii. sc. 3.

Again, in Hall's "Chronicle," fol. 20, Henry IV.: "By the deviacion, and not devinacion of that _mawmet_ Merlyn."

[201] Alluding to the poisoned garment given by Dejanira to Hercules. See Ovid's "Metamorphoses," b. ix.

[202] [Edits., _thy_.]

[203] In the quartos of 1608 and of 1633, this line is by mistake assigned to Cyprus. The _exit_ of Florio, who obviously withdraws, is also not marked.--_Collier._

[204] [Edits., _you, to her, and_.]

[205] [Edits., _do, do, do_.]

[206] This horrid sentiment is to be found in too many of our ancient poets. See [Ford's "Works," by Dyce, i. 143.]

ACTUS IV., SCÆNA 1.

_Enter_ FLORIO _and_ MECHANT.

FLO. The queen is all for revels; her light heart,
Unladen from the heaviness of state,
Bestows itself upon delightfulness.

MECH. She follows her creation and her sex.
In my conceit it is as vile a thing
To see the worthy model of a woman,
Who had not been at all but to give life
And stirring spleen to man's alacrity,
To sit o'erwhelm'd with thought, with dark amuse,
And the sad sullenness of griev'd dislike;[207]
As to behold an old man in his furs,
Whose well-spent youth hath given his age full strength,
To be his country's best physician,
To caper to his grave, and with vain gauds
Trick up his coffin, and upon his tomb
To leave no knowledge but his levity.

FLO. 'Tis true indeed, and Nature in herself
Doth give us still distaste in contraries.
And in my thoughts
It is as base to see a woman man,
As see a man a long-rob'd feminine.

MECH. Well, we forget ourselves, my lord;
What, is the music ready? I pray you,
Command the guard to take their halberts in their hands;
The ushers should have seen this room perfumed.
In faith, they are too negligent: here comes the queen.

_Enter the_ QUEEN, MARIANA, _and waiting-women_:
PHILOCLES, _and other lords: the_ KING _disguised_
_like one of the guard at the one end of the stage,_
_and the duke so likewise disguised at the other_
_end of the stage_.

QUEEN. Loud music there, and let the god of harmony
Ravish our senses with delightful airs,
Tun'd to the music of the higher sphere;
And with that mortal sign most rarely show
The joys in Jove's high court, to feast the gods,
Making that place abound in happiness.
Come, noble Philocles, I seize you first--
Mariana, there are choice of other lords--
In gracing you, it is the king I grace.

MAR. Come, honest lord, 'tis you must stand to me,
The queen in mine doth challenge interest,
And I must fly for shelter to my friends.

MECH. And I'll be glad to be your coverture.

MAR. O no, my lord, not till the weather change.

MECH. Well, when you please--meantime you do me grace.

QUEEN. Nay, my lord, there's a lady worth the handling:
Sound music then; fill earth with heaven's pleasure.

CYP. My queen is out of time, though she keep measure.

[_Here they dance the first strain._

EPIRE. Be lucky, villany: hit now the mark[208]
That mine ambition aims at; methinks I see
That lean Italian devil, jealousy,
Dance in his eyes. Possess him, spirit of rage:
Muffle his understanding with black thoughts,
Let passion govern reason, falsehood truth,
Oblivion hide his age, hate kill his youth.

CYP. Thou dancest on my heart, lascivious queen,
Even as upon these rushes, which thou treadest:[209]
See how her motions wind about his eyes,
And doth present to him her passions:
Now doth her moistening palm glow in his hand,
And courts him unto dalliance. She dies: 'tis just.
She's slave to murder that is slave to lust.

EPIRE. Thou curse of greatness, waking-ey'd suspicion,
Now help thy poor friends, murder and ambition.

[_The first strain ends._

QUEEN. This strain contain'd a pretty change.
Proceed unto the next. [_They dance the second._

CYP. Sin follows sin, and change on change doth wait;
Thy change doth change my love to cruel hate.

[_In this strain_ MARIANA _came to_ PHILOCLES.

PHIL. Madam, methinks this chance is better than the first.

MAR. Ay, if the music would not alter it.

QUEEN. Methinks 'tis worse; come, we will have
Another strain. [_They dance again._

PHIL. I'm pleas'd;[210] let us proceed.

CYP. Rivals in crowns and beds of kings must bleed.
Can that fair house contain so foul a guest
As lust, or cloak inordinate base desires,[211]
Under so fair a coverture? O yes,
Women can blind our sense when we see best,
And set fair landskips on inconstancy,
Making us blind with seeing. The dance ends:
Your sins are blackest, breach of love and friends.

EPIRE. Now to the king; blow, rage, till it flame hate;
A politician thrives the best in state.

[_Exit_ EPIRE, _and enters to the_ KING _again_.

QUEEN. Come, sweet Prince Philocles,
Devise some new delights to shorten time;
This dulness hath no relish in my sense,
It hath no pith; and sloth in my conceit
Is but a type of pride in best constructions.[212]

MAR. Madam, I'll stand, that a fair woman
Must be proud, or else a fool.

PHIL. I would fain hear that, i' faith.

QUEEN. Thy reason, wench, I pray thee: come, disburse.

MAR. A woman fair is like a full-blown rose.

QUEEN. Which holds the fair no longer than it grows.

MAR. A woman fair is like the finest gold.

PHIL. Which kept from use is good, though ne'er so old.

MAR. Nay, good lord, leave a little:
She that is fair is wise, and ought to know it,
For to that end did nature first bestow it.
Now of this knowledge if we be not proud,
We wrong the author, and we are allow'd
To rank with senseless beasts, sith careless we
For want of pride detract our dignity.
Now knowing it, we know truth in the same,
Not to be proud of truth asks folly's name.
This lesson still is read in beauty's school:
She that is fair and humble is a fool.
For neither knows she how to hold her good,
Or to keep safe the treasure of her blood.

QUEEN. A notable declamation.

MAR. Nay, madam, by your leave,
Pride gives a lustre to a woman's fair,[213]
Things that are highest priz'd are ever dear.
Why is the diamond the sapphire's king,
But for esteem and rareness? both which spring
From the stone's pride, which is so chaste and hard,
Nothing can pierce it, itself is itself's guard.
Now what is pride? self-love, our own esteem,
A strength to make us of ourselves well deem:
From whence this maxim I collect 'mongst other,
Who hates herself can never love another.
And, to conclude, man's appetite grows dull
To what it may have: empty hope's a fool.[214]
So[215] all our sex on earth, maid, widow, wife, and bride,
They happy live, when they live with chaste pride.

CYP. [_Aside._] My queen will speak as much for lust, as she
For pride, if the toy take her.

MECH. Your ladyship sows dangerous seed abroad.

MAR. But I hope, my lord, all grounds are not fruitful.

QUEEN. Well, wench, shalt be the proud woman's champion.

MAR. And I'll defend them against all men, as at single tongue.

MECH. I had rather fight with a giant than you at that weapon.

CYP. [_To_ EPIRE.] My lord, go forth, return in your own shape,
Say I am coming.

EPIRE. I go, my lord. [_Exit_ EPIRE.

CYP. [_Aside._] I'll note their countenance when they hear of me:
Kings often see that which they would not see.

QUEEN. Dancing hath made me weary. What sport is next?

PHIL. What your highness will command.

CYP. [_Aside._] She will command you, sir, to play with her.

_Enter_ EPIRE.

EPIRE. Madam, his majesty is return'd to court.

QUEEN. Nay, then, away with revels and with sports;
Lie hush'd and still this vainer idleness,
It now hath lost his spleen; come, lords, away,
My sun is risen brings a brighter day.

[_Exeunt all but_ CYPRUS _and_ EPIRE.

CYP. Darkness is thy delight, lascivious queen,
And thou wouldst have thy sun pent-up in clouds,
If I be he. O falseness, did I for this
In single opposition, hand to hand,
Hazard my royal blood for thee to be
My greatest shame, the scandal of my blood,
Whilst rumour crowns me king of infamy?
But I will be reveng'd. Watch, gentle lord
When next I see them, they shall taste of death,
Such power hath baseness over great defame,
That monarchs cannot cover their own shame.

[_Exit_ CYPRUS.

EPIRE. My plot yet holds a true proportion,
And I do see an even way to rule.
A crown, like a bold champion, bids me on,
And fame shall chronicle mine enterprise:
The queen being dead, I must oppose myself
Against her tyrant husband--that's my claim,--
And with strong courage stand the shock of war:
If of myself I can withstand the king,
Then all the land will flock unto mine aid; if not,
The king is God's anointed, my head fits the block,
And that's the worst: yet future times will tell,
I sunk not slightly; for a crown I fell. [_Exit_ EPIRE.

_Enter_ MECHANT, _and a guard of_ WATCHMEN.

MECH. Come on, my masters,
You know the tenor of the king's command.
And what in this great business you must do,
Which is to keep him safe, and not vouchsafe
That any creature speak or visit him,
Till he be brought to th' presence of the king.
You must not start for bounty, nor for threats,
No, though he say he is a nobleman,
As it may be, he may prove mighty born,
Yet what for that? you must perform your office,
Or else expect to taste sharp punishment.

1ST WATCH. Tut, fear not, my lord, we that have had Cerberus'
office so many years under a gate, are not to learn now to play
either devils or tyrants; let us but see him, and then take no
care for his safety.

2D WATCH. Nay, he shall be put into safe keeping, for my wife
shall take charge of him.

_Enter_ ALPHONSO _in the Orator's clothes_.

MECH. 'Tis well-devis'd, see where he comes;
He may not see my presence; think upon't,
[_To the Watch._
Your charge is trusty, and of mighty weight.
Farewell. [_Exit_ MECHANT.

1ST WATCH. Fear not; come, my hearts, compass him about, and
seize on him all at once, like so many ravens on a dead horse.

ALPH. Now an eternal sleep, an apoplex, a swoon,
Seize on their senses, who in this disguise
Shall view or note my vile deformity.
I was bewitch'd by spells to my misfortune,
Or else star-cross'd with some hag's hellishness.
Sure, I said my prayers, ris'd on my right side,
Wash'd hands and eyes, put on my girdle last.
Sure, I met no spay-footed baker:
No hare did cross me, nor no bearded witch,
Nor other ominous sign. O, then, why
Should I be thus damm'd in the devil's nets?
Is't possible this habit that I wear
Should become any man? now of my soul,
I loathe to see myself, and willingly
I would even vomit at my countenance.

1ST WATCH. Stand, sir; we arrest you.

ALPH. Arrest me! why,
I injure no man but myself.

2D WATCH. You're the more unkind; he that wrongs himself will
not stick to wrong the whole world also.

1ST WATCH. Nay, strive not, for we arrest you by virtue of the
king's commission.

ALPH. Well, my masters, be careful; you may mistake me.

2D WATCH. Indeed it is no marvel, you are so like other men.

ALPH. Indeed at this time I am hardly like one of God's making.

1ST WATCH. Faith, and I am sure you are no man of a good
tailor's making, you are but pieced-work.

ALPH. Well, yet I may hap to prove a nobleman.

2D WATCH. A whoremaster or an unthrift! away with him, and let
no man catechise him upon pain of my displeasure. [_Exeunt._

_Enter the_ DUKE OF EPIRE _alone_.

EPIRE. Roll on, the chariot-wheels of my dear plots,
And bear mine ends to their desired marks.
As yet there's not a rub of wit, a gulf of thought,
No rocky misconstruction, thorny maze,
Or other let of any doubtfulness.
As yet thy way is smooth and plain,
Like the green ocean in a silent calm.
Blessed credulity, thou great God of error,
Thou art the strong foundation of huge wrongs,
To thee give I my vows and sacrifice;
By thy great deity he doth believe
Falsehoods, that falsehood's self could not invent,
And from that misbelief doth draw a course
To overwhelm even virtue, truth, and sanctity.
Let him go on, bless'd stars, 'tis meet he fall,
Whose blindfold judgment hath no guide at all.
But O, these shadows have bewitched long:
To threat and not to do doth malice wrong.
And see, here comes the queen.

_Enter the_ QUEEN, MARIANA, _and other ladies_.

QUEEN. My lord the duke, your presence and my wish
Jump in an even line together: come,
We must to cards:
I have some crowns
I needs must lose to you.

EPIRE. I humbly beseech your highness pardon me:
I have important business of the king's,
Which doth command mine instant diligence.

MAR. Brother, indeed you shall attend the queen;
Another time will serve those state despatches.

EPIRE. Sister, content you, the affairs of state
Must give their best attendance on the times;
And great occurrents must not lose their minutes.

MAR. Now I'll stand to it, that to be a statesman or a lawyer
is to be of the most thankless occupation that ever was derived
from human invention.

QUEEN. Why, I pray thee, wench?

MAR. Because they bestow all the laborious toil of the mind
until they be forty, that they may live imprisoned in a
study-chamber till they be fourscore, only for this world's
mammon, a great name and riches, which, like a string between a
galley-slave's legs, is the only ease of their fetters.[216]

QUEEN. A notable construction of a noble labour: but shall we
not have your company, my lord?

EPIRE. My service, madam, but my presence the king hath
employed; only, if you please, I will send Prince Philocles to
your majesty.

QUEEN. No creature better; for his skill in play
Is equal with our knowledge. Good my lord,
Send him to my privy-chamber presently.

[_Exeunt_ QUEEN, MARIANA, _&c._

_Enter_ PHILOCLES.

EPIRE. I will, and send affliction after him;
And see where he comes. My lord, your presence hath
Saved me much labour and a little care,
I was in quest for your fair company:
The queen, my lord, entreats you earnestly
You will attend her in her privy-chamber.

PHIL. Unto what end?

EPIRE. Only to waste some time at cards with her,
The lazy hours stick heavy on her thoughts,
Which she would lose with some forgetfulness.

PHIL. Faith, and play ne'er relish'd worse
Within my thoughts.
I know not how, but leaden[217] heaviness
Draws me to be in love with melancholy.

EPIRE. The fitter for you with more light sports
To chase that blood-consumer from your breast,
Who with a honey-poison doth devour,
And kill the very life of livelihood.

PHIL. 'Tis true, and therefore shall your counsel tutor me;
Where is her majesty?

EPIRE. Gone
To her privy-chamber, where she doth expect you.

PHIL. I will attend her presently.

[_Exit_ PHILOCLES.

EPIRE. Do, and I will attend thee to thy grave,
Poor shallow lord, by much too virtuous.
Ho! who's within there?

_Enter_ FLORIO.

FLO. Your grace's pleasure?

EPIRE. Go tell his majesty that I must speak with him.

FLO. I go. [_Exit._

_Enter aloft to cards the_ QUEEN _and_ PHILOCLES.

QUEEN. Come, my lord, take your place, here are cards, and here
are my crowns.

PHIL. And here are mine; at what game will your majesty play?

QUEEN. At Mount-saint.[218]

PHIL. A royal game, and worthy of the name,
And meetest even for saints to exercise.
Sure, it was of a woman's first invention.

QUEEN. It is not saint, but cent, taken from hundreds.

PHIL. True, for 'mongst millions hardly is found one saint.

QUEEN. Indeed you may allow a double game;
But come, lift for the dealing; it is my chance to deal.

PHIL. An action most-most proper to your sex.

_Enter_ CYPRUS.

CYP. How now, my waking dragon, thou whose eyes
Do never fall or close through Lethean sleep:
What, is there a Hercules that dare to touch
Or enter the Hesperian rosaries?[219]

EPIRE. Speak softly, gentle lord; behold, behold,
The silly birds are tangled in your snare,
And have no way to 'scape your punishment.
See, how her eyes do court him, and his looks
Pay to her love a double interest.
Fie, fie! they are to blame.

QUEEN. What are you, my lord?

PHIL. Your highness' servant, but misfortune's slave.

QUEEN. Your game, I mean.

PHIL. Nothing in show, yet somewhat in account;
Madam, I am blank.

QUEEN. You are a double game, and I am no less; there's an
hundred, and all cards made, but one knave.

EPIRE. Mark that! of my life, she means your majesty.

CYP. True, I know she holds me as her varlet,
And that I am imperfect in her game;
But my revenge shall give me better place,
Beyond the hate of her foul impudence.

EPIRE. Nay, good my lord, observe: they will confirm you better.

QUEEN. What's your game now?

PHIL. Four kings, as I imagine.

QUEEN. Nay, I have two, yet one doth me little good.

PHIL. Indeed, mine are two queens, and one I'll throw away.

EPIRE. Doth your majesty mark that?
You are the king that she is weary of,
And my sister the queen that he will cast away.

PHIL. Can you decard,[220] madam?

QUEEN. Hardly, but I must do hurt.[221]

PHIL. But spare not any to confirm your game.

EPIRE. Would you have more plain proof of their foul treason?
They do not plot your highness' death alone.

CYP. But others, which they think depend on me.

EPIRE. Myself, and those which do you services:
They are bloody-minded; yet for myself,
Were it not for your safety, I could wish
You would remit and blot these errors out,
In hope that time would bring them to more virtue.

CYP. O, then thou didst not love me, nor thy faith
Took hold upon my scandals; fie, I'm mad,
Sham'd and disgrac'd, all wit-stung, wisdomless.
Within there, ho!

_Enter_ FLORIO.

FLO. Did your majesty call?

CYP. Go instantly--(nay,
Do not look sad or pale, neither dispute with me
Nor with thy thoughts; but as thou lov'st thy life,
Effect my will)--call all my guard.
Ascend the queen's privy-chamber, and in my name
Arrest her and Prince Philocles of treason.
Make no delay, but in thy diligence
Show how thou dost respect me. Arrested once,
Convey them unto straitest prison: away. [_Exit_ FLORIO.
For you, my lord, go instantly prepare,
And summon all the princes of our land
Unto an instant parliament, where we
Will have them both condemn'd immediately,
Without their answers, plaints, or piteousness.
Since women's tears do blunt revenge's sword.
I will not see, nor hear them speak one word.

[_Exeunt_ CYPRUS _and_ EPIRE.

_Enter_ FLORIO, _and a guard aloft, to the_ QUEEN _and_ PHILOCLES.

FLO. Madam and Prince Philocles, in the king's name I arrest
you both of high treason.

PHIL. He lies that saith I ever knew the word.

QUEEN. I pray thee, do not affright me, gentle lord,
Thy words do carry death even in their sound.

FLO. Madam, I am most sorry 'tis my fortune,
But what I do is by the king's commission.

QUEEN. Whence is that warrant grounded, or what's our treason?

FLO. I am his instrument, but not his councillor.

PHIL. Madam, be patient; that we do not know,
We have no cause to grieve at. As for envy's toil,
Let her even break her own gall with desire,
Our innocence is our prevention.
Be cheerful, madam, 'tis but some villain's sound,
Made only to amaze, not to confound.
And what must we do, my lord?

FLO. To prison are the words of my commission.

PHIL. Then lead the way; he hath of grief no sense,
Whose conscience doth not know of his offence.

FOOTNOTES:

[207] _And the sad sullenness of a griev'd dislike_ is the reading of the 4o. The article was omitted by Mr Reed for the sake of the measure.--_Collier._

[208] _Be lucky villany_ is necessary for the measure, and is conformable to the old copies. Mr Reed permitted the misprint to stand, and did not regulate the verse as it required.--_Collier._

[209] See the present vol., p. 213, and Mr Steevens's note on "Romeo and Juliet," act i. sc. 4.

[210] The 4o, 1608, has it, _I pleas'd_, and the reprint of 1633 implicitly follows all blunders, and adds others peculiar to itself.--_Collier._

[211] _Inordinate and base desires_--both quartos.

[212] In the last edition it was printed--

"And sloth in my conceit
Is but a type or pride in best _constitutions_."

which is neither sense nor metre. The old copies are uniform for the restored reading.--_Collier._

[213] [Fairness.]

[214] [Old copy, _is full_]

[215] [Edits., _To_.]

[216] In the two 4o copies of this play the latter part of the speech stands thus:--_Only for this world's mammon, which is great name and riches, like a string between a galley-slave's legs, is the only ease of their fetters._ Mr. Reed introduced the improvement.--_Collier._

[217] [Old copies, _loaden_.]

[218] This game is often mentioned in our ancient writers, and what immediately follows sufficiently explains the nature of it.

[219] Places where roses grow in great abundance.

"Biferique _rosaria_ Pæsti."--VIRG.

--_Steevens._

[220] _i.e._, Throw away a card.--_Steevens._

[221] [Without injuring my hand.]

ACTUS V., SCÆNA 1.

_Enter at one door_ EPIRE, _at another_ MARIANA.

EPIRE. How now, mad sister, your dear love is condemned?
A sweet adulterer!

MAR. How! condemn'd before their trial?

EPIRE. No, they were condemn'd by act of parliament.

MAR. I do not hold thee, brother, for a man,
For it is reasonless to mock calamity:
If he die innocent, thrice-happy soul;
If guilty, weep that man should so transgress:
Nature of reason thus much doth importune,
Man should partake in grief with man's misfortune.

EPIRE. For him, if e'er mine eyes weep, may they drop out,
And leave my body blinder than my sense:
Pity my foe, the ruin of my house,
My valour's scandal, and mine honour's poison!
No, let him fall, for blood must still quench lust,
Law hath condemn'd him, then his death is just.

MAR. Spit out that monster envy, it corrupts you,
And mildly hear me answer for my love.
What did he 'gainst you was not honourable,
Which you 'gainst him would not have gladly done?
Will you hate him for acting your own thoughts?
Can it be ill in him, yet good in you?
Let reason weigh this difference, then you'll find
His honour poises down his infamy.

EPIRE. Canst thou love him that brought thee to thy death?

MAR. No, like a God he made me with his breath.

EPIRE. Did he not win thy love, and then reject thee?

MAR. His honour, not his love doth now neglect me.

EPIRE. Fond maid, thy foolish dotage doth mistake him.

MAR. Hell shall have mercy, ere I will forsake him.

EPIRE. Farewell then, sister, friend to my greatest foe:
Revenge strikes home, being ended with one blow.

[_Exit_ EPIRE.

MAR. Prevention, thou best midwife to misfortune,
Unfold this ugly monster's treachery;
And let his birth be ominous--struck dead,
Ere it have being in this open world.
Love commands nature. Brother, pardon me:
Thine envy dies by my love's liberty.
Invention, heart of wit, possess my brain,
For treason is to treason her own bane.
And you, bright heav'ns, now aid me in my plots,
That truth may shine through falsehood's leprous spots;
My life I'll hazard to redeem my love,
Firm constancy like rocks can never move.
Be bold then, maiden-heart, in his defence.
He saved thy life: thy life's his recompense:
My wit and hopes have furnish'd me with all
The helps of art to bring forth treason's fall.
Now to the means. Some say that gold hath power
To enter without force a gateless tower:
And I'll try that, which if it take fast hold,
I'll never blame them more that doat on gold.
Ho! who's within there?

_Enter_ JAILER.

JAILER. Who calls, what would you have? I thought you were a
woman, you were so hasty: O, madam, is it you? I cry you mercy.

MAR. My grief speaks loud, sir, and my swift desire
O'errules my tongue, makes it keep time with thought;
I long to see a prisoner in this ill-built house.

JAILER. What prisoner, madam?

MAR. The worthy prince, the famous Philocles.

JAILER. Madam, I dare not, without especial warrant.

MAR. I have my brother's strong commission; hold, there is gold.

JAILER. This golden calf is an excellent idol, and few of my
profession but serve it: this dumb god gives tongue to all
men, wit to all men, honour to any man, but honesty to no man:
and therefore as for honesty, I mean not to deal with so dear
a commodity, but leave it to my better. Madam, those stairs
direct you to his lodging.

MAR. I thank you, sir. [_Exit_ MARIANA.

JAILER. This is a worthy lady, to give thus much for the bare
sight of a man in affliction; if he were at liberty, it were
nothing; but being as it is, it is most bountiful: but it may
be it is for the past hours of former recreations: well, let it
be what it shall be, I am sure it was not that I should hold
this disputation: but see, here she comes again.

_Enter_ PHILOCLES _in_ MARIANA'S _attire, and_
MARIANA _in his_.

PHIL. Madam, my soul cannot consent to leave
Your life in this great hazard, nor can death
Carry such ugly shape, as doth the thought,
That you are left in this extremity:
Indeed, I will not leave you.

MAR. Will you grow mad? what, shall your nobler spirit,
Which is the school of wisdom, grow so fond[222]
As to revolt from all our happiness?
Our plots you know, and how to manage cares,
Whose true events have true proportions;
Then, dear lord, rest resolv'd--the jailer overhears--
Live you with safety. Most worthy maid, farewell.

PHIL. Farewell, fair prince: thanks, master jailer, and a kind
commend.

JAILER. As much unto your ladyship. So now I'll lock my doors.

[_Exeunt_ MARIANA, PHILOCLES, _and_ JAILER.

_Enter_ CYPRUS, MECHANT, FLORIO, _and Attendants_.

CYP. Is our commission, as we gave in charge,
Delivered o'er to the corregidors?

MECH. It is, and with such strictness and advice
For speedy execution of the same,
That by this time I know they are in the way
Unto their execution; for the hour
Of death doth run upon his latest minutes.

CYP. 'Tis well: for till their shameless lives have end,
There can no comfort creep into my thoughts,
Or aught save mischief keep me company.
Why was I born to this malignity
And lowness of base fortune, yet my place
Above the level of the vulgars' sight?
O, it is but to let me know thus much,
That those which lie within the richest graves
Were at the best but fortune's glorious slaves.
But see, here comes my shame.

_Enter corregidors_, QUEEN _and_ MARIANA _disguised_
_like_ PHILOCLES, _both bound, and a guard of_
_halberts with the executioner_.

QUEEN. My dearest lord.

CYP. Pass, and respect me not, lascivious woman!
Thy tears are like the tears of crocodiles.[223]
See how I stop mine ears against thy plaints,
And glue mine understanding from thy charms.
Nay, call on him thou hast offended most;
Mercy from me were worse than cruelty.

QUEEN My dearest, dreadest, my best[224] sovereign,
Whom I have ne'er offended, but with zeal
And constant love, loyal and honourable,
Vouchsafe me, though a queen, a subject's right,
And let me know for what offence I perish.

CYP. For thine adulterate and monstrous lust,
Shameful and gross, and most unsufferable.

QUEEN. Who doth accuse us?

CYP. Ourself and our own soul, that have beheld
Your vile and most lascivious passages.[225]

MAR. O, that my tongue would not betray my knowledge!
Then would I amaze them all with mine assertions.
Madam, challenge the law. [_Whispers._

QUEEN. My gracious lord, since no desert in me
Can merit your belief, nor that your eye
Can rightly judge my pure complexion:
Yet as your handmaid let me beg the right,
Due unto wretches from our country's laws.

CYP. The tenor of the law you do demand?

QUEEN. That in the case of slander, where the proof
Proceeds as much from envy as from truth,
We are allow'd our champions to defend
Our innocence with a well-ordered sword.

CYP. I look'd for this objection, and allow it;
Nor am I unprovided for your best
And strongest hope in any victory:
Lords, attend in my champion.

_Here the noble-men go forth, and bring in the_ DUKE
OF EPIRE _like a combatant_.

QUEEN. Will you, my lord, approve the king's assertion?