Chapter II: Part 2

As night was drawing nigh, we began our nocturnal journey as usual. Two days and nights were gone without having tasted either food or rest; when passing through a Village, an old Woman who was sitting before the door of her house, called us: I did not know whether I should go or not, but I said to the comrade of my misfortunes, let us go and see what she wants. Coming near to her, she said, "I know my friends that you are deserters from prison? be not afraid I will do you no harm, knowing what it is myself, for my Son is a prisoner in a French Country, and I should not like that any one should ill use him if he was in the same case as you are now." She questioned us upon many subjects concerning the state of her Son, and at last she said, "I think you must be wanting of food, since you left prison?" I answered that for two days we had not had any: immediately she went into the house, and beckoned us to follow her. Being in the house she told us to sit down, while she dressed some meat, which she did with great dexterity: and presenting the same to us, I said, "O GOD! since thou hast been pleased to provide food for us this night, bless it we beseech thee with thine own power and will." AMEN.

The old Woman was much pleased to hear what I had said; and after we had satisfied our wants, she gave us some more meat tied up in a cloth, and shewed us the road that led to _St. Peter's_ Town: we thanked her for all her kindness, and proceeded on our march all the night long until morning, which forced us as usual to retire into some thicket or wood: there I began to thank GOD for having preserved us from dangers and pursuits till the present moment; I then took the cloth which contained our provision: having spread it, I called upon GOD to give his blessing. My comrade said, "you pray too much, do you think that GOD takes notice of what you say?" surely said I, because, if He did not take notice of what I said and asked him, He would not have provided for us: well says he, "all your nonsense will bring nothing but bad luck."

After we had refreshed ourselves, I tied up carefully the remainder of our food, and said to him, if you desire to take a little rest, I will watch in the mean time: he did so, and when asleep, I went a few yards further and rested myself in prayers, for they were the best refreshment I ever could take; after my duty was performed, I was easy and full of an unknown joy which I could not describe.

Some time after my comrade got up and told me to rest myself and he would watch his turn; but I told him that I was not wearied, and it would be better to search the wood, to see whether we could find any fruit; he agreed with my proposal, and we went seeking for some provisions, for ours were getting very short: after a long while rambling up and down, we found at last a great quantity of wild fruit of all sorts, some of them were very pleasant to the taste; we gathered as much as we could carry, and as it was already dark, we came out of the wood and travelled on as usual. We were several nights and days rambling up and down in the greatest misery, till at last one night we arrived at _St. Peter's_ Town: there I, and my comrade parted. I went on board of an Irish Ship which was in the Harbour, and he on board of another. I was well received on board of the Ship, but as I was very hungry and having had no refreshment for some time, I told them my situation; and they gave me some food. I was after introduced to the Captain, who told me that I might stay in the Ship and work with the other men: I was about three weeks on board working very hard, and receiving very ill treatment. One day a Negroe came on board about some business, and I asked him many questions about the people of the Town, and especially about two Gentlemen which I perfectly knew; one was a Knight, and the other a Baronet. I sent by the Negroe a few lines to them, and as soon as they received them, they hurried to come to see me: they were struck at the first sight to see me in such a deplorable situation, as they knew my parents, they could not help but mourn and pity my miserable state: they told me to go with them on shore, which I did with great pleasure, though I was ashamed of myself being very dirty. Arrived at their house I was put into a bath to wash me, for I had need of it; and clothes were provided for me: after I was dress'd I could not believe that it was the unhappy me, when looking at my ragged clothes which I had on but a few minutes ago; I was in a perfect state of happiness, for nothing concerning the necessaries of life was wanting for me. I was in that state of affluence for three months, and wheresoever they went, they took me with them, so that I was acquainted with the best company of the Town: but for all that I did not forget my GOD.

Some time after they procured me a passage on board a Ship that was going to _St. Thomas_: all necessaries, both for life and body were provided for me, and ten guineas which they gave me when we parted, also letters of recommendation.

We went out of the Harbour and sailed towards _Dominica_, where we cast Anchor to take some passengers, and from thence we sailed to _St. Kits_, where a part of the convoy were waiting for us, after to _St. Bartholomew_, for some other business, and from thence to _St. Thomas_, where we arrived safe after a good voyage.

I went to the Gentlemen for whom I had letters of recommendation, and was received with great civility and kindness; one of them took me to his house while I stay'd at _St. Thomas's_. The first Sunday I went to Church with him and another Gentleman that I did not know, and that same Gentleman said to me after we came out of Church; "I hope you love GOD, young man?" I said yes, well, said he, "in all your troubles trust to the LORD JESUS CHRIST, and whatsoever you stand in need off, ask it in his name, and I am sure He will grant it unto you, for He has promised through _His Blood_ to make intercession for us." I kindly thanked him for his instruction, and he withdrew.

I remained at _St. Thomas_ three weeks, and took an opportunity of going to _Guadeloupe_; but before I took leave of the Gentleman where I was at, I thanked him for all his goodness: he said, "you are welcome to stay longer if you chuse;" I returned him my thanks saying, I wished to see _Guadeloupe_. "Here is a purse (_says he_,) which I beg your acceptance of;" then shook hands with me, and retired, he one way, and I the other. I immediately went on board, and in a few minutes were out of sight of the place where I received so much kindness. I had a pleasant and short voyage, and safely landed at that most desired Island of _Guadeloupe_. I hasted to see my acquaintances; and having inquired after my Brothers, I heard that they were taken prisoners, and conducted to _Plymouth_ in great _Britain_.

As I had nothing do and no desire to go to Sea any more, I went again to my late master (_the Planter_:) who was very glad to see me, and encouraged me by raising my wages, which made me apply the more to my business.

As I did not yet forget my Maker, I daily performed my duty towards him who had been so gracious unto me. My master (_or rather my friend_,) soon perceived a great change in me, which he did not know what to attribute it to; at last he knew by some of the servants who watched me, that I was in the ways of Christianity: some times he used to plague me about it, for fun, but for all that he did not esteem me the less.

One day having some company at home, that were invited to spend two or three weeks with us; I retired as usual after supper to bed, and knelt down: at the time I was pouring out my soul unto GOD in prayers, a young lady inadvertently passed by, and seeing my chamber door half open, stepped in; and finding me in the posture as before mentioned, she bursted into a loud laugh and rushed out of the room, and in a few minutes I had the whole company round me making all sorts of jests, some laughing till they fell down on the floor, others holding their sides with laughing, and others jumping and stamping, &c. It was indeed such a noise as I never heard before, for it was both a tragedy, and comedy. In all that disturbance I was as firm as a rock, and did not move from the place in which I was, untill I had fulfilled my duty towards my SAVIOUR. I told them it was very unmannerly to disturb me thus, in my most precious time: for prayers were my best delight and comfort, and without them I could not rest nor be happy. The tale soon spread in the neighbourhood about me being a devout,[18] so that I was persecuted daily by my own friends, but as I did not mind them, they were soon tired, and at last were obliged to let me be quiet, seeing they could not get master over me.

[18] In England, if any profess Christianity, he is called a
methodist, and in France or any other dominions appertaining
to the same, a Devout.

Three weeks after that scandalous scene, I was taken very ill, of the putrid and malign fever; three days after the Doctor gave me up, for I was so ill that he thought I could not recover.

I was ten days and nights senseless; and saw wondrous things in my agony; and the eleventh day I came to myself again: my keeper said to me, "I hope you have prayed enough this time?" I did not know what she meant, but having asked her the reason why; she said, all the time I was senseless, I did nothing else but pray night and day untill I came to my senses again. I was a long time before I could recover my former strength again; and as soon as I was able, I went to my business. I then was melancholy with thinking about my Country, and Mother; as for my Mother I did not know in what quarter of the world she was in; notwithstanding that, I took my pen and wrote, first, to _St. Domingo_, and then to two or three other places where I thought most likely, but all was without success, for no answer was to be had. Again I wrote, and so on for about eighteen months without receiving the least tidings: which made me some how think that my poor Mother was no more. I was in such a low state of mind that my life became a burden to me, I could not find any comfort either in amusement or prayer; and when at prayer, I prayed not with such a delight as I used to do: so that in a short time I quite turned my back from the path of the truly and most blessed LORD JESUS CHRIST, and became again as wicked as ever.

One day my master called me, and said, "the Negroes are in rebellion, and you must go to war and fight." He provided horse and arms for me, and sent me to join the cavalry that were encamped at a little distance from where we lived. Some days after I was at the camp, the Captain ordered me to go into the Town to carry some dispatches; I made some excuse, telling him to send some others; but he said, "you are appointed to go and you must for I dare not trust any other." I obeyed and went out of the camp, and rode to Town which was nine or ten miles distance from the place above mentioned; and not being able to return the same day, I waited till morning: but what was my great surprise at the moment I was putting my foot in the stirrup to return? an alarm was given that the whole camp were murdered in the night,[19] except one who escaped having on nothing but his shirt. We being the only persons that were spared, we were put into another company, and marched on the same day against the rebels, and were successful in all our attempts. I was for three weeks night and day fighting, some times wet through with rain, and at other times suffocated with the heat: all that while, I never knew what it was to lay down or take rest; neither having an opportunity to put clean linen on: but at last we returned into the Town, where we took some refreshment and put clean linen on, for we had need of it. No sooner was I refreshed, but I was ordered to carry some letters of consequence to a camp nine miles off; but as the road was very dangerous, I asked one of my comrades to go with me, which he did with great pleasure; we arrived at the camp without the least injury or danger: but it was not with the same luck we went back, for as we were passing through a dark Wood, (_it was then between ten and eleven o'Clock at night_,) a shower of musket balls were fired at us, which unexpected noise and hissing, so much frighted our horses, that it was impossible for us to lead them; they rushed through brambles and briers, and at last plunged into a dead Lake, where we had like to have been drowned; but our horses being stout animals, they swam and gained the other side in a few minutes. We made the best of our way through woods and thickets to escape the fury of the balls which were continually flying about us, and after having wandered a great while through unpracticable places, we found again the road, and rode as fast as we could to the Town: since that affair I have been in many obstinate and bloody engagements.

[19] Oh! reader consider and meditate? see how GOD was
pleased to spare such a rebellious Creature as I; and how
Divine Providence distinguished itself by calling me alone,
though I, with obstinacy refused to comply to its orders:
but who can resist the power of the LORD when he says, I
will and they shall, &c. "Oh! bless the LORD O my soul, and
all that is within me, bless his holy name: for the LORD has
done wondrous things. He has lifted me up, and has not made
my foes to rejoice over me."

One day as I was reading the news-paper, I heard that _St. Domingo_ was in a state of tranquillity; at this I was determined to go thither: accordingly, I went on board a Ship that was going there; we went first to _St. Thomas_, to take some passengers, and for my dear Country we sailed, and arrived safe there. My first inquiry was my Mother; I was about two days rambling through the streets without hearing any tidings respecting her or any other relations; till at last peradventure I met with one of my Cousins that was in _France_ at the time I left that Country; she took me to her house and entertained me with loving kindnesses; and told me that my Mother was in the Spanish part of _St. Domingo_, at the distance of sixty miles from the place where I then was.

Anxious to see the author of my days, I would have set out immediately, but she entreated me to spend a week or two with her, to which I agreed: we related to each other our misfortunes, and soothed each other's sorrows. Once in my conversation I was speaking of that barbarous and pretended Uncle of mine, who used me so ill when I was in _France_; I asked her whether she knew where he was, she told me that he was in the Town, and not far from the house; I was indeed amazed that such a wretch was still alive; she told me also that he came some times to see her; well, said I, if he comes I will be ready for his reception, for I am no more what I formerly was, [_a Child_,] that I should dread him. Two days after, he heard that I was in Town, and came to see me: as soon as he came into the house, my mind was struck with horror. He advanced towards me and asked how I did stretching forth his hand to shake hands with me; I refused my hand and said, Sir, I do not shake hands with people that I know not. "why (_said he_) don't you know me?" no Sir! I replied: "why don't you know your Uncle S?" no Sir! I never had any relation of that name: "why don't you remember you lived in _France_ with me?" no Sir! for I am sure I never saw you before to day, if I did, my mind does not afford me the recollection of your features: "how is it you don't remember me, who married your Aunt V.---- in second wedlock?" "Oh! yes I do now you execrable villain; retire from my presence, monster of iniquities; think not that you shall go unpunished, nor escape the wrath of GOD, for the sword of vengeance hangs over your head, and will crush you to atoms in an unexpected time that justice may be satisfied." He first blushed, then became pale, and without replying left the house; and I saw him no more while I tarried there. My Cousin was very much pleased with my reception of him; but as the time I agreed with her was expired, I thought of going to see my Mother; so I took leave of her and embarked in a long-boat which was going that way: in four and twenty hours I was landed at _Moutechristo_ where she resided, and was not long to find out the place of her dwelling, the Town being small. I will just let my reader know how I made my entrance: first, I knock'd at the door; when in, I asked her whether she knew me; she said no Sir; I asked her again whether she had not Children abroad; she said yes, "but, [_giving a deep sigh_,] all my hopes are vanished, for it is between thirteen and fourteen years since I have seen or heard from them." I then said to her, behold the youngest of them before you: she exclaimed in a transport of joy, "Oh! my Son is it you? my dear H.---- is still existing?" and then fainted: but was not long in that state, for her exceeding joy soon called her to her senses again. My hard heart was melted in an instant; I could no longer withstand that filial love; I threw myself into those arms which were so desirous and eager to welcome me to that breast which was so ardently panting for me: our joy was so great on both sides, that neither of us could utter a word. Our language was only by sighs: and those precious tears which bedewed my face when I first parted with her, were once more mixed with mine. Our arms interwove in each other as an emblem of the most affecting tenderness. In that posture we remained a long time, so much were our feelings affected, that we could not utter a single word.

Some time afterwards, she shewed me my little Brother and Sister, by her second husband; and dispatched my Brother to go and fetch my Father-in-law who was then at the farm, a little distance from the Town. In the mean time she said to me; "your Father-in-law is an honest man? he is not like many others, but he is a true Father that I have met with for you;" she then asked me where my Brothers were; I told her they were taken prisoners by the English and conveyed to England: at the same time my Father-in-law came into the house, which interrupted our conversation. He seemed to be very joyful of my arrival, and treated me with the greatest kindness. This was the happiest moment I ever enjoyed, being in the bosom of my friends. But all this happiness did not last long, for the Negroes rose up again, and killed every white man that fell into their hands.

I was then compelled to stand in my own defence, as a foot soldier; every night, alarms were given, for the blacks were at the gates of the Town: but having received reinforcement, they were repulsed. Afterwards I was sent to garrison, fifteen miles off, where I stay'd four and twenty days; at my return my little Brother fell sick of the fever, and died in two days after; which put my Mother and Father-in-law in such distress of mind, that I thought they would have followed, especially my Father-in-law, for he was a man of very tender feelings: but by degrees and length of time, their griefs were dispersed.

Five months were expired since my arrival at my Mother's. I was daily upon guard, or doing some other things respecting the warfaring business. One day being on guard, I was informed of the arrival of both my Brothers; I immediately ran home, and found it was so; my joy was inexpressible at the sight of them, particularly at the eldest, who was, and always has been my most intimate friend: it was then five years and some months since they were taken prisoners; during that time I never heard from them, which made me think many times that they were no more in this World. Soon after, the report of their arrival was spread in the Town; and coming to the ears of the commander of the place, they were sent for by his orders, and enrolled[20] them into a company of foot soldiers. The duty was hard, the rebels being daily about us, and almost every night there was some fighting or attempt. One day after a very bloody engagement that was fought at the advanced post, I was sent thither with the company which I was in to reinforce them, in case they should be attacked again: I stay'd there four and twenty days, and was relieved by my eldest Brother. The day after I took leave of him, and returned into the Town. As soon as I arrived, my Mother sent me to the Metropolis about some business. When there, the troubles were so great, that no one was in safety of their lives: three days after my arrival, a strong battle took place, and lasted from four o'Clock in the morning till six in the evening. The day after I was occupied in doing the errand for my Mother; and as soon as I had done, I wrote a letter to her, sending an account of all the business; and told her she must not expect me to return, nor perhaps see me more; telling her my reason was, that _St. Domingo_ was a place too dangerous for me to remain in any longer: and told her not to be uneasy about me, for I had already taken shipping.

[20] May it please GOD to enrol them in the Royal Regiment
of Saints, commanded by his most truly and Honorable Son,
the LORD JESUS CHRIST.

We set out the 3d of May 1803, from the harbour of _St. Domingo_: I bid my distressed Country once more Adieu; thinking to myself it is perhaps the last.

My intention when I embarked was, to go to _St. Malo_, and take shipping there for the coast of _Africa_. I had on board a small cargo consisting of Sugar and Coffee, which when sold would have enabled me to begin a trade according to my purpose. We steered for the place above mentioned; six days after we were at Sea, we had such a rough wind, that we were obliged to reef our main and fore top-sails: all our efforts seemed to be unsuccessful, for we were driven amidst dreadful Rocks; and the winds redoubled with such violence that nothing was seen before our eyes but terrors; every moment we expected our fatal end to take place; we fired guns of distress from time to time hoping that some Ship would hear us and come to our assistance, if there was any about: but our endeavours were in vain, and we were cast in the midst of the Rocks. The scene is too cutting for me to relate it in all its parts, for it was enough to unman the stoutest Sailor: every man was in the most profound consternation; nothing was seen before our eyes but Death, and that in dreadful forms. At every instant pieces of timber were swimming about the almost wrecked Ship; the water covered almost the deck. We were in that deplorable situation till morning; and to our great joy, a Ship offered itself to our view[21]; we immediately put the long-boat out to Sea, to go to the Ship for refuge: I flung myself into the boat with what I valued most, and five other men did likewise. As our boat was too small to carry all the people, several were obliged to remain upon the wreck of the Ship, till we could return with the other Ship's boat to save them. We rowed away the boat, and went to the Ship that was in view; when there, the Captain asked me if all the people were come; I told him no, because our boat was too small to carry them, and we came to beg his assistance, for those miserable Creatures which are now upon the remainder of the wreck. He said, "they may save themselves if they can, but as for me I cannot go, the weather is too favorable for me to lose a minutes time; you may go back if you like to save them; but as for me, I will go my way." So he sailed, and we went with him; the others remained upon the wreck of the Ship, in the midst of a wide Ocean, without either help or hope. The Ship which saved me was a French Ship, and steered for his own place.

[21] When thou passest through the waters, I will be with
thee. Isaiah. chap. 43, ver. 2.

The 21st day of June 1803, being at Sea, we were met by an English Vessel who told us that war was declared between _France_ and _England_, and for that reason we were taken prisoners, and conducted to _Plymouth_.

I stay'd 35 days in _Plymouth_, and was sent after to _Tiverton_ in _Devonshire_ upon _Parole_ of _Honour_; there I remained five months, and was sent afterwards to _Ashbourn_ in _Derbyshire_. I arrived at _Ashbourn_ the 17th of december 1803, and was in such a deplorable state of mind, that I did not know what to do. Very often the public house was the place where I went to seek comfort, by getting intoxicated, and then casting all my sorrows behind me; I after awhile took such a delight in this course of life, that it became quite an habit to me; I was the greatest Sabbath breaker that ever existed; I was daily fighting or swearing the most execrable Oaths, which was enough to excite the anger of GOD against me. One morning being half drunk, I went out to take a walk; when passing through a dark foot path, I was persuaded by some evil spirit to put an end to my miserable life. For that purpose I went into the darkest part of the place, and took my knife out of my pocket to accomplish the horrid deed.--The instrument was already lifted up, and the stroke was to ensue; but an Angel of the LORD, (_or some thing of that kind_,) stopped my rebellious hand, and my weapon dropped from it; then many ideas came into my mind such as these, "Oh! miserable wretch, art thou going to plunge thyself into eternal misery? remember thou art going into Hell head-long, if thou dost such a thing:" I was struck with terror with those ideas, and was so frighted, that I durst not move from the place for fear that the justice of an avenging GOD should fall upon me. I stay'd in that place for some time, and went home with such a burden, that I could hardly bear: having my head cast down as if I was a criminal, for I durst upon no account lift it up.

I was for several days in a such distressed state of mind, that I had not courage enough to go out; for I thought every body knew what was the matter with me; and to appease my wounded conscience, I thought that a reformation would have been sufficient to justify me in the sight of GOD: so that I began to build, as it is said upon a sandy foundation, by performing a few formal duties; thinking that by my good works, I should merit the favours of GOD so as to forgive me all my trespasses. The plan I had formed was this: having a Roman Catholic prayer book, I thought it was all-sufficient to calm my troubled breast, and to bring me to a perfect state of happiness. So every night and morning I used to kneel down, and taking the prayer book I read the morning and evening prayer; this performance I thought would please GOD, and get me from under the terrors of an accused conscience: but in all these vain duties I never looked to JESUS for forgiveness or remission of sins, neither to his precious and cleansing blood, nor could I perceive the depravity of my corrupted nature: but I depended wholly upon my best endeavours and good works. I continued but a little time in doing those erroneous duties, and felt insensibly at last that all my fears were vanished away; I was like the dog, returning to his vomit again: for I begun the same method as before, keeping all sorts of bad company, and breaking the sabbath with drinking, swearing and fighting &c. I was at the least five days drunk in the week, and always quarrelling.

One day in one of my mad fits, (_though I was not drunk_,) I resolved to delay no longer to put an end to my miserable existence; for that purpose I went into a garden near by: the same instrument that had been lifted up before, was again employed; I was in such great despair, that I was relentless towards my own life and happiness; so that I lifted up my sanguinary hand and struck my left breast twice[22].--I fell down senseless; some persons who were near, hearing the exclamation I made, which was, Oh! Mother, I shall never see thee again! came to see what was the matter; and to their great surprise, found me wallowing in my own blood. They carried me into my room for dead, and some person went to fetch the Doctor. As soon as the Doctor saw my wounds, which were through my lungs, he said, I can be of no use to him, for he has not ten minutes to live; but if he does, I may be of service to him: and went away. But he was soon fetched back again for I was not dead. When he came the second time, he gave me something to drink which recalled me to my senses: my inside being full of blood, he thought it would be proper to bleed me, it might ease me a little, for I could hardly breathe. After I was bled I fell into a swoon; the Doctor then said, if he lives till one o'Clock it will be a wonder. Some-body went to fetch a Catholic Minister[23], who lived in the same Town; when he saw me, he told me to recommend my soul to GOD, saying, that I had but a few minutes to live: and after this short exhortation he went out of the room, saying, it was too much for him to see.

[22] I have sinned: what shall I do unto thee, O thou
preserver of men? why hast thou set me as a mark against
thee, so that I am a burden to myself. Job, chap. 7. ver.
20.

[23] I did not know for what purpose they went for him; but
I supposed it was to administer unto me the Extreme-Unction;
for as it is reported among the Roman Catholic that a man or
woman dying without having received the Extreme-Unction,
(_which they call a Sacrament_,) must either go to
Hell, or in Purgatory.

I was restless all the night, for I could not sleep on account of the soreness of my wounds. When morning came I was so weak and so feverish, that the Doctor thought I could not live to see the sun set. Night came, and yet alive: but I was so tormented with ideas as before mentioned, that I durst not shut my eyes for fear I should awake in Hell. I was three nights without taking the least rest; for I was afraid to fall asleep, as I made it a sure thing in my mind, that if I fell asleep, I should awake no more. I felt myself in such a miserable condition, that I thought GOD would never forgive me. All the time I was in bed, I lay upon thorns as it were; for I was so filled with grief and sorrow, occasioned by my misbehaviour towards the everlasting being, that my life was quite miserable.

During the time of my affliction, I had such ideas and thoughts concerning my state, that I appeared to myself the vilest of men; but for all that I did not know from whence came these thoughts and ideas.

I was six or seven weeks before I could walk out; and was a great while before I could get any strength. I was five months in the most distressing state of mind, and continually tormented by some thing or other, which I could not discern. Some times I went out to meditate a little, but no sooner was I out, but was forced to return home again; because I could not rest any where. One day after many dreadful and frightful ideas, I felt some thing extraordinary in me; and then for the first time, I perceived that I was a sinner[24]; and one beyond expression: I saw the horrible state in which I was plunged; I felt that I was upon the very brink of destruction: and felt also, that no one could alleviate my pains but GOD. For that purpose I went to church; when there, I could hear nothing that could do me any good. At night I went to the Methodist Chapel; there I did not find any comfort so as to set me free. When at home, I went to prayer; but could say nothing but the LORD's prayer, which I knew from my infancy.

[24] Though I had had a taste and a view of the love of GOD,
(_as you may read in the former part of my life_,) and
a great desire to serve and worship him; yet I did not feel
the corruption of my fallen nature, neither the great weight
and burden of my inveterate sins and transgressions: I was
far from thinking of the inestimable worth and want of a
precious SAVIOUR. I had a zeal, but not according to
knowledge; I was like that sect which the Apostle Paul
speaks of in the tenth chapter of Romans and the third
verse: for they, being ignorant of GOD's Righteousness, and
going about to establish their own Righteousness, have not
submitted themselves unto the Righteousness of GOD.

"I thank GOD, through the LORD JESUS CHRIST, that He has
subjected me unto his blessed and Everlasting Righteousness;
and made me sensible of this, that without the Blood of his
dear Son, my sins must for ever remain."

I spent the week in reading the new Testament; and longed daily with impatience for the return of Sabbath, that I might try again to seek a place where I could lay all my burden. When that happy day was come, I went to SION Chapel: the text was taken out of the twenty-seventh chapter of the Prophet Isaiah, the last verse; "and it shall come to pass when the great trumpet shall be blown" &c. I was very attentive at the preaching, in hopes I could hear some passage that might comfort my distressed mind. The Minister brought forward the Brazen Serpent in his discourse, saying, when Moses lifted it up, he said, whosoever shall believe in it, shall be saved; for thus shall the Son of man be lifted up. I felt a little comfort from these words, but not sufficient to calm my troubled mind; because of the weakness of my faith. As I had not heard sufficient, I went at night to the Methodist Chapel. I did not dislike the sermon, but did not feel so much there as I did at SION Chapel: I spent the week rather better than I did the last, and was not so much distressed.

One morning I went to take a walk, when fifty yards from the house, I remembered I had not served GOD when I got up; I was so struck with shame, that I ran back to my chamber to say my prayers. Such a thing as that happened unto me three times, but was always overcome by the fear of GOD, for I durst not on any account go out of my room except I had render'd thanks to GOD for his protecting grace and mercy; for I thought, that if I was to neglect, his wrath would fall upon me &c.

Sunday came, which I longed for with so much impatience; and with joy I went again to SION Chapel. The text was taken out of the Epistle of Paul to the Philippians, the third chapter, and the ninth verse; "and be found in him." The very word of "be found in him," went deeply to my heart, and proved sweet to it; for it comforted me and released me from all my guilty fears; and convinced me of all the errors we are liable to by Nature. I was so overjoyed at that sermon, that I could not depart from the place till I had spoken to the Minister[25]; to tell him the benefit I had received under his labour. I went home joyful at what I had heard and tasted, and I cast all my cares and sorrows away: and was only thinking to serve him who shed his blood for me.

[25] the Reverend Samuel Franklin, of _Ebley in
Gloucestershire_, Minister in Lady Huntingdon's
connection, then at _Ashbourn in Derbyshire_.

Now persecution began to take place by my worldly companions; they called me all sorts of shameful names[26], even threatened me with punishment if I did continue in hearing the word of GOD. I could not go through the streets without meeting with some ill treatment from them; but as I did not mind what they said, I told them I would sooner go to the scaffold and suffer Death, than renounce JESUS CHRIST. Their persecutions continued for a long time, but seeing I did not take any notice, they were obliged to let me go in peace.

[26] My friends scorn me; but mine eye poureth out tears
unto GOD. Job, chap. 16, ver. 20.

I went to no other place of worship but SION, where I first found the treasure of the _Crucified One_. Some times I thought myself too unworthy to be saved; but at other times I had better thoughts, when reflecting on Paul, Manasseh, and other characters &c.

The week before _Good Friday_ I was taken ill, and was obliged to keep my bed several days. In the mean time I prayed unto GOD to give me health and strength, that I might be able to go and hear his word that precious day he bought my Salvation; but it was not permitted; for that very day I was extremely ill, and wept bitterly because I could not go to SION my happy place. So I called for a new Testament that I might read a chapter or two; but I was so weak, that I could not read; and was forced to put the book down. In the afternoon I felt myself a little better, and took the book I read a chapter, by which I received some comfort.

I was very patient under my afflictions, for the more I was afflicted, the more my mind was comforted; I did not fear the sting of Death at all, because, I had faith to believe I should be happy. In a few weeks I was entirely recovered, and the LORD soon after blessed me with the Spirit of prayer, so that I could join my friends in CHRIST in their labours.

Now I am fully convinced that I am found, and brought back to the flock of whom JESUS CHRIST is the Shepherd: and I will adore and praise him for what He has done for me through Grace, and trust in Him for what He has promised to do.

"O! most blessed JESUS, thou who hast been pleased to protect me through so many dangers, and watched over me ever since my youthful days; be pleased I beseech thee, to keep me now that I am found: I did not find myself, thou knowest; but it was thou, O! most blessed JESUS who found me when lost and ready to sink into the valley of destruction. Thou hast brought me from thousands of miles to shew me thy light divine, and to make me a prisoner of hope instead of a prisoner of war. O! Eternal THREE in ONE, look down on thine unworthy servant, and water his Soul with the dew of thy Heavenly Grace, that he may be prepared to receive that never fading Crown, which is at the end of the race thou hast enabled him to run: and help him to renounce all other works but thine. Now I forsake all the riches and pleasures of this world, for the Eternal life which was purchased by the precious Blood of thy dear Son JESUS: to which I beseech thee, to keep me now, and to the end." AMEN.

THE _WEST INDIAN HYMN._

"_This my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost and is
found._"

PRODIGAL'S FATHER.

Now though six thousand miles from home,
Yet nearer to my GOD I come
'Twas JESUS' love that set me free,
And brought me back by grace to thee,
And JESUS will lead me to see;
Eternal days.

And now that I am found,--keep me
That I may never go from thee:
Thus fill my soul with thy free grace,
That I may run the christian race,
And see my SAVIOUR face to face;
In endless days.

Thou didst seek me when a stranger,
In my guilt and road to danger,
And to bring me home to my GOD,
Didst interpos'd thy precious blood,
That I might sing with saints aloud;
Through endless days.

O! blessed be the sacred Place,[27]
Where I have found such Heav'nly grace,
That sav'd me from my nature's fall,
And give me on my GOD to call;
O! JESUS at thy feet I fall:
Through endless days.

Till then, do thou in my heart dwell,
Rule in it and do all things well:
Lead me to that e'erblessed place,
Where I hope to behold thy face,
And help me thy foot-steps to trace;
To endless rest.

There I shall praise my SAVIOUR dear,
While his own Righteousness I wear:
I'll shout and sing redeeming love,
Which did my first affections move,
And never more will let me rove;
Through endless days.

[27] SION Chapel.

_FINIS._

PARKES PRINTER, and AUCTIONEER, ASHBOURN.