Chapter I

ALL (Frightfully Unofficial) about an OLD FRIEND of mine

What he most probably was What he most certainly will be AND WHO HAS DONE THIS?

WHY THE CAT.

Dedicated to the Notice OF ALL The Firms of this Great City whether BANKERS BROKERS OR OTHERS WHO In their Rise to Wealth and Affluence have NOT yet Recognised the "Generous Policy" That their Success is always partly Due to the Honesty and Energy of their SERVANTS, AND WHO After taking to Themselves all the _HONEY_ in the _HIVE_ Leave to the WORKERS NOTHING but the Lees.

"A good Master maketh a good Servant"

MARTIN TUPPER.

ALL (Frightfully Unofficial) about an OLD FRIEND of mine

What he most probably was What he most certainly will be AND WHO HAS DONE THIS?

WHY THE CAT.]

before he became]

During his 1st year of Service

(Fancies he's got a "good thing")]

AND ought'nt he to be _thankful_]

_BY A PENSION_

that _he and his_ can live upon, together with a _handsome present_ of _the remnant of his life_]

_Afterwards_

"_Is he quite worn out.?_ not another _6 months_? dear me!

_quite sure?_ Ah!"]

And he works all day, and he dreams all night]

(of course it was only a dream.)]

Why not appeal to his Masters the DIRECTORS they can but say No. they are Gentlemen, and _they won't eat him_]

And of cours.--HOORAY!!!!

The DIRECTORS declare that their _trusted servant_ SHOULD NOT be an _exception_ to the _Universal Rule_, but that he had risen in value like everything else AND they further declare, they will not permit, _the man whose labour increases with their success_, to be _left behind_ by the butcher, the Baker, or the Candlestick Maker.--_NO_ not to put dividends into their own pockets,

_OR ANY OTHER MANS_]

And Georgiana-Amelia looks more like the girl he took away from the old Rectory 20 years ago than he ever hoped to see again

Why she's getting FAT!, Sir FAT!]

And so is Tommy' Sir.]

And Georgiana Amelia, Junior.]

And so Goodbye, Sir Goodbye. No, we _do not_ live at Poplar now--Why, yes, quite a change. Just so Good bye to you, Sir

_Hem_--_WE ARE GOING TO CHURCH._]

OH! _Are you_.--_You're going to the City_, Old Boy. WHAT!!! _Give you more pay_--Pooh. Think of the Honorable _Confidence_ your Masters _cannot help giving you_--Think of that--Very Valuable, Eh.

_Ah! I should think so_, and you had better wake up those Shakey old legs of yours, or you'll be _Under the Line_]

_he is_ _Under the Line_]

EXTRAORDINARY COINCIDENCE

SOME BODY ELSE

HAS BEEN DREAMING

OR

OUR MUTUAL FRIEND

BEING

The FINAL SCRATCHES of

THE CAT

WHO

After this will vanish

And like the baseless fabrick of a dream Leave not a wrack behind]

Now look here, let me show you an Article.]

Now I call this cheap.--_There he is_, Salary L40. _and_ white choker _not_ objected to. (for the matter of that he'll wear plush or--anything)----Come he's goodlooking. He'll work for you, respect you, as much as he does himself, be a credit to you, _and_ finally, he's been in the Pawnbroking line, _says_ _he lives on Oatmeal Porridge--and comes from the North_

(ED NOTE "Puss" who comes fra' the North hersel, is disgusted with the "Cad", _and does'nt believe him_.]

Well!!! said "Somebody" you're an _Extraordinary Man_--_but I don't believe you_--Now I can _understand this_. _You cannot afford_ _any_ of these things, _that_ is clear. But Human Nature is frail, and Alas! B.C.s _are but_ Human. Come, Sir confess at least _to some of these iniquities_, and then--_What is the consequence?_]

Of course they wont. I've said so before. Give you my Vote and Interest? Do we wish to conduct our Business on the "Old Clo" principle, like a Firm of Jew Slopmakers? said "Somebody", getting Indignant, and dangerously red about the Face--NO! very well. Give you my Vote and Interest? _I always have._ Give them again?----(you know young man, this is all very unofficial--well then) Yes.--_I Will_]

_And the result_, some of it is in my Pocket (_long may it stop there_) the Result is, that _Our House_ is up to _any Amount of Work_ and will undertake _to beat the Cheap Jacks into Fits_

Let us hope the example of "our little Shop" will be catching

Now then ALLTOGETHER
AND SO SAY ALL OF US
AND SO SAY ALL OF US
FOR HE IS A JOLLY GOOD

SOMEBODY COMING

See him do it!

Puss in taking leave of his Friends _Congratulates_ them on the _Fact_ that _they know who is_ OUR "MUTUAL FRIEND" (and it isn't everyone can say that). In conclusion it is to be hoped that "Nobody" will be the only person so _unfeline_ as to dream of

"PUTTING A STOPPER ON THE CAT'S MEAT"]

* * * * *

Transcriber's Notes

Retained the spelling and punctuation anomalies of the original.