Chapter I

AMERICANS

Drawn by

CHARLES DANA GIBSON

_New York_: R. H. RUSSELL,

_London_: JOHN LANE

1900

THIS is the fifth book in the regular series of Mr. Gibsons published
drawings, consisting of

DRAWINGS BY C. D. GIBSON No. 1

PICTURES OF PEOPLE No. 2

SKETCHES AND CARTOONS No. 3

THE EDUCATION OF MR. PIPP No. 4

AMERICANS No. 5

Each book contains eighty-four of Mr. Gibson’s best cartoons, and all are uniform in size, shape and binding. Thanks are due Messrs. Mitchell & Miller and Charles Scribners Sons, for their co-operation in making this volume as representative and complete as possible.

Copyright by MITCHELL & MILLER.

Copyright by CHARLES SCRIBNERS & SONS.

THE book is published in Great Britain by especial arrangement with Mr. James Henderson, the proprietor of the English copyright of some of the drawings.

Printed in the United States of America.

Entered at Stationers Hall.

PRESS OF THE J. W. PRATT CO., NEW YORK.

THE AMERICAN GIRL TO ALL THE WORLD.]

FOR INSTANCE, IF THE JACK OF CLUBS COMES BETWEEN THE FOUR AND THE TEN OF DIAMONDS, AND THE FOLLOWING CARD HAPPENS TO BE THE DEUCE OF SPADES, IT MEANS THAT THE NEXT OFFER OF MARRIAGE SHOULD BE ACCEPTED.]

SO THINKS THE YOUNG MAN WHO MUST LISTEN TO HER FATHER’S FRIENDS DURING THE NEXT HOUR.]

AND THEY HAVE BEEN ENGAGED ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES.]

HAVE A BOOK IN CASE YOU ARE BORED.]

“DON’T SAY THAT! I HAVE A CHILD AND TWO HUSBANDS TO SUPPORT.”]

SHALL IT BE WHAT SHE IS ACCUSTOMED TO OR THE BEST HE CAN AFFORD?]

_Venerable Hack_: IT IS THE SIMPLEST THING. YOU HAVE A MIND SUITABLY PREPARED. YOU GET AN IDEA. THE IDEA BEING INTRODUCED INTO THE MIND CAUSES FERMENTATION, DURING WHICH A SCUM RISES TO THE TOP AND IS CAREFULLY REMOVED, LEAVING A RESIDUE OF CLEAR THOUGHT. THIS YOU BOTTLE UP FOR YOUR OWN USE. THE SCUM YOU SELL TO A PUBLISHER.]

THERE ARE SOME ADVANTAGES IN TAKING YOUR VACATION EARLY IN THE SEASON.]

ANYWHERE IN THE MOUNTAINS.]

ANYWHERE ALONG THE COAST.]

BE READ TO. IT SAVES THE EYES FOR BETTER THINGS.]

DEDICATED TO EXTRAVAGANT WOMEN.]

TREAT YOUR AMERICAN WIFE WITH KINDNESS.]

KEEP CLOSE TO NATURE.]

YOU WILL SAVE TIME BY KEEPING YOUR EYE ON THE BALL, NOT ON THE PLAYER.]

THE GIRL WHO REFUSED US.]

THE GIRL WHO WANTED A SMALL WAIST.]

PEOPLE WHO _WILL_ HAVE THEIR OWN WAY.

THE MAN WHO WANTED TO GET RICH.]

12:20 _A. M._: THE HUSBAND WHO WANTS TO GO HOME AND THE WIFE WHO DOESN’T.]

A SOLILOQUY.

“NOW, IF I HANG YOU OVER THIS DARK CORNER, HE WONT SEE YOU; AND IF I HANG YOU IN THE LIGHT, HE WONT DARE.”]

SHOWING THAT EVEN INANIMATE OBJECTS CAN ENTER INTO THE SPIRIT OF THE GAME.]

“I’M UNABLE TO SAY. I WASN’T ACQUAINTED WITH YOUR HUSBAND.”]

BOTH SIDES OF IT.]

_She musing_: IT SEEMS A PITY TO SPEND TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS TO HAVE A GOWN MADE OVER, WHEN I CAN GET A NEW ONE FOR TWO HUNDRED.]

DO WE SEE SO MUCH OF OLD AGE AND YOUTH BECAUSE THE MIDDLE-AGED MEN HAVE SOMETHING BETTER TO DO?]

_She_: IT TELLS HERE OF A MAN IN CHICAGO WHO HASN’T SPOKEN TO HIS WIFE IN FIFTEEN YEARS.

“PERHAPS HE IS WAITING FOR A CHANCE.”]

SOME LOOK WELL IN IT.]

_The Brute_: ER--WHAT OTHER INDUCEMENTS DO YOU OFFER?]

“HANGIN’? HANGIN’? WHO’S GOIN’ TO BE HANGED?”

“JIM SANDERS. COME ALONG.”

“NO; THANKS. HE’S NO FRIEND O’ MINE.”]

THIS NOBLEMAN CANNOT RECALL WHICH HEIRESS ACCEPTED HIM THE NIGHT BEFORE.]

_Chorus_: MADAME IS RAVISHING! CHARMING! AH, IT IS DIVINE!]

“ISN’T YOUR MOTHER WORRIED BY CAPTAIN SHORTHOUSE’S ATTENTIONS TO YOU?”

“OH, NO; SINCE I GAVE JACK HIS FREEDOM AFTER THE HIDE TRUST SLUMP, MAMMA SAYS I’M A REAL MOTHER MYSELF, AND NOW SHE NEVER WORRIES.”]

“I DIDN’T NEED TO.”]

THE WOMAN WHO MARRIES A CLUB MAN.]

“I HAD NO IDEA THAT YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH ME.”

“NEITHER HAD I, UNTIL I PROPOSED AND YOU REJECTED ME.”]

_Mrs. Dimpleton_: I AM GOING TO SEE THE DOCTOR TO-DAY, AND I KNOW HE WILL INSIST UPON MY GOING ABROAD THIS SUMMER.

_Dimpleton_: NO, HE WONT. I MET HIM YESTERDAY AND TOLD HIM IF HE SENT YOU ABROAD I COULDN’T PAY HIS BILL.]

_He_: CERTAINLY, DEAR, IF YOU CONSIDER IT UNNECESSARY.]

WHAT THE DAY RECALLS.]

TO ONE PIECE OF DARK PIAZZA ADD A LITTLE MOONLIGHT--TAKE FOR GRANTED TWO PEOPLE. PRESS IN TWO STRONG ONES A SMALL, SOFT HAND. SIFT LIGHTLY TWO OUNCES OF ATTRACTION, ONE OF ROMANCE; ADD A LARGE MEASURE OF FOLLY; STIR IN A FLOATING RUFFLE AND ONE OR TWO WHISPERS. DISSOLVE HALF A DOZEN GLANCES IN A WELL OF SILENCE; DUST IN A SMALL QUANTITY OF HESITATION, ONE OUNCE OF RESISTANCE, TWO OF YIELDING; PLACE THE KISSES ON A FLUSHED CHEEK OR TWO LIPS; FLAVOR WITH A SLIGHT SCREAM, AND SET ASIDE TO COOL. THIS WILL SUCCEED IN ANY CLIMATE, IF DIRECTIONS ARE CAREFULLY FOLLOWED.]

KEEPING YOUR EYE ON THE BALL.]

“BECAUSE I’M TOO FOND OF MEN’S SOCIETY.”]

_Daughter_ (_home from a seminary_): WE NO SOONER LEARN A LITTLE ABOUT ONE SUBJECT. MAMMA. THAN WE STOP AND TURN TO ANOTHER.

“YOU MUST REMEMBER, DEAR, THAT I AM FITTING YOU TO ENTER SOCIETY.”]

“OH, THIS IS SO SUDDEN!”]

THE TRIPLETS FIND THEY ARE ALL ENGAGED TO THE SAME MAN.]

HE DOUBTED IT.

_Mrs. Henrypeck_: YOU HAVE BEEN VERY AGGRAVATING AT TIMES, AND WE HAVE NOT ALWAYS GOT ALONG VERY WELL TOGETHER; BUT STILL, IF I HAD TO DO IT OVER AGAIN, I’D MARRY YOU JUST THE SAME.

_MR. H._ (_under his breath_): I’M NOT SO SURE ABOUT THAT.

THE MAN WHO MARRIED FOR A HOME.]

“FOND MEMORY BRINGS THE LIGHT OF OTHER DAYS----.”]