Chapter I

AN A. B. C. OF EVERY-DAY PEOPLE

GOOD, BAD & INDIFFERENT.

BY G. E. FARROW

AUTHOR OF “THE WALLYPUG OF WHY” “THE LITTLE PANJANDRUM’S DODO” ETC. ETC.

ILLUSTRATED BY JOHN HASSALL.

LONDON DEAN & SON 160^A FLEET S^T. E.C.

A the Amiable!

=A=h! what an +a+miable party is =A=, He holds out his hand in a genial way;

He is hearty and hale, And he loves a good sail. What a capital friend on a fine summer’s day!

B the Bumptious.

=B=oastful, and +b+umptious Bohemian =B=, He plays on the fiddle most beautifully;

But is really so vain, That some people complain That his fiddling is nothing but fiddle-de-dee.

C the Contented.

=C=heerful, +c+ontented, and smiling is =C=, A good-natured, pleasant old lady is she;

And even her cat, Tho’ he isn’t too fat, Appears to be grinning most amiably.

D the Doleful.

=D=ear! Dear! What a +d+readfully +d+olorous =D=, The picture of misery surely is he;

When he asks for a penny, And doesn’t get any, His language is not what his language should be.

E the Energetic.

Behold, +e+nergetic and eager-eyed =E=, Who has no time to stand upon ceremony;

He’s all hurry and hustle, And scurry and bustle, About something or other continually.

F the Feeble.

=F=idgety, +f+retful, and +f+ractious is =F=. For feeble and fragile, and frail is old F;

Not a tooth in his head, And now, it is said, The old fellow’s becoming remarkably deaf.

G the Generous.

This is +g+ood-natured and +g+enerous =G=. A kind little fellow, you’ll doubtless agree;

See him willingly share That extremely large pear, How very surprised Pretty Polly must be.

H the Haughty.

=H=oity-toity! Here’s +h+igh-minded +h+aughty Miss =H=. To be so self-satisfied’s naughty, Miss H,

With your nose in the air, And your insolent stare, I can’t think what you’ll look like at forty, Miss H.

I the Industrious.

You can’t help but admire this +i+ndustrious =I=, Who is studying hard, tho’ there’s nobody by.

He’s so lost in his book, He has no time to look At the ink he has spilt; and it’s getting quite dry.

J the Jolly.

This is the +j+ovial, +j+ocular =J=, Who’s enjoying at Margate a fine holiday.

He makes everyone laugh, With his fun and his chaff. You’ve met somebody like him before, I dare say.

K the Knavish.

I’d +k+nock o’er the +k+nuckles this +k+navish young =K=: He’s been picking a pocket and now runs away.

But Policeman X+2+ Has this person in view, And will certainly catch the young rascal some day.

L the Lively.

=L=issome and +l+ively is +l+ight-footed =L=, Who dances the sailor’s hornpipe very well.

From morning to night, He is merry and bright, Is this jolly Jack Tar, one may easily tell.

M the Meek.

Down-trodden, brow-beaten, +m+eek little =M=, This torrent of fault-finding nothing can stem.

If her mistress were kinder, No doubt she would find her The best of good servants, a regular gem.

N the Neighbourly.

This is good-natured and +n+eighbourly =N=, Who over the wall has been talking since ten.

To the lady next door, (Who’s perhaps rather poor) She’s lending her very best flat-iron again.

O the Obliging.

An +o+bliging +o+fficial is good P’liceman =O=. He holds up his hand, and the coachman says “Whoa!”

His smile is seraphic, When stopping the traffic, To let a small lady cross over, you know.

P the Perky.

=P=erky and +p+roud is +p+articular =P=. She wouldn’t converse with a policeman, not she!

But I have heard it said, That a soldier in red By her is regarded more favourably.

Q the Quarrelsome.

This is the +q+uerulous, +q+uarrelsome =Q=. Nothing will please her, whatever you do;

And from morning till night, This or that isn’t right, And whatever you tell her, she says isn’t true.

R the Respectable.

Proper and highly +r+espectable =R=. About your appearance most particular.

The man with the broom Steps aside to make room, And wonders, poor fellow, whoever you are.

S the Satisfied.

In his cooking most highly +s+uccessful is =S=, And his smiling face doth satisfaction express.

He says, “Very good stew!” And so, doubtless, would you. This person’s a Chef, as you see by his dress.

T the Timid.

=T=erribly +t+imid is +t+remulous =T=, Who appears to be sitting uncomfortably.

He looks nervous and ill, And will certainly spill All his tea. He has spilt some already, I see.

U the Unhappy.

=U=nfortunate and most +u+nwilling is =U=. The poor little chap’s in a terrible stew,

When he’s had the tooth out He’ll be better, no doubt, And a new tooth will grow where the other one grew.

V the Vacant.

Utterly +v+acant and lost is poor =V=, He’s forgotten the date of the wedding you see.

He’s forgotten the ring, And in fact everything; A remarkable kind of a bridegroom is he.

W the Willing.

Perfectly +w+illing is antique Miss =W=, Tho’ I fear very much that nobody will trouble you.

Few are anxious to kiss Such an elderly miss; It is sad, but a fact, you poor ancient Miss W.

X the Excitable.

This is the highly excitable =X=. The result of the poll, or some land we annex,

Drives him quite off his head; And I have heard it said That such conduct his wife doth exceedingly vex.

Y the Youthful.

This is the girlish and +y+outhful Miss =Y=, Who’ll bestow a sweet smile as she passes you by.

To look younger than ever Is her constant endeavour; Though her age you will probably guess, if you try.

Z the Zealous Zoologist.

This is the +z+ealous +z+oologist =Z= Examining an hippopotamus’ head.

There’s no cause for alarm, It can do you no harm, For the creature, of course, is decidedly dead.

TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES:

1. Enclosed italics font in _underscores_.
2. Enclosed bold font in =equals=.
3. Enclosed special font in +plus+.