Chapter XI: Preface (11)

When the King of Denmark visited our Court in 1768, he observed the eagerness of the middle and lower ranks in their attempts to view his person; and politely ordered that they should be admitted while he dined. The consequent press and rudeness was such, that the permission was rescinded after _one_ trial: that rudeness may be estimated by the following paragraph: "A correspondent observes, in the London Chronicle, that the crowds which follow after and so rudely press upon the King of Denmark, render his situation very disagreeable, as he is constantly obstructed in the gratification of his curiosity at any public place of diversion, or of seeing any thing curious in or near the Metropolis, for fear of being stifled. He adds, that he wishes the people would consider the great rudeness they are guilty of, by thus treating so very high and respectable a Personage: and let all who have once had a view of him in any public place pass on, and not stand staring in the King's face with such intolerable effrontery as too many have done, to the annoyance of his Majesty, as well as the hindrance of others from the pleasure of seeing him."

The hospitality with which this Prince was received by the superior ranks and all the public bodies, particularly the Corporation of London, deserves the highest commendation.

The practice of Betting is tolerably prevalent at present, and by no means confined to any particular class of the community. In short, I am afraid it might be traced very far back in the history of our customs; but it will be sufficient for the information of the reader, that I present him with an article from the London Chronicle for 1768, which I think will remind him of some recent transactions in the City.

"The introduction and amazing progress of illicit gaming at Lloyd's Coffee-house is, among others, a powerful and very melancholy proof of the degeneracy of the times. It is astonishing that this practice was begun, and has been hitherto carried on, by the matchless effrontery and impudence of one man. It is equally so, that he has met with so much encouragement from many of the principal Under-writers, who are, in every other respect, useful members of society: and it is owing to the lenity of our laws, and want of spirit in the present administration, that this pernicious practice has not hitherto been suppressed. Though gaming in any degree (except what is warranted by law) is perverting the original and useful design of that Coffee-house, it may in some measure be excusable to speculate on the following subjects:

"Mr. Wilkes being elected Member for London, which was done from 5 to 50 guineas _per cent._

"Ditto for Middlesex, from 20 to 70 guineas _per cent._

"Alderman B----d's life for one year, now doing at 7 _per cent._

"On Sir J---- H---- being turned out in one year, now doing at 20 guineas _per cent._

"On John Wilkes's life for one year, now doing at 5 _per cent._--N. B. Warranted to remain in prison during that period.

"On a declaration of war with France or Spain in one year, 8 guineas _per cent._

"And many other innocent things of that kind.

"But when policies come to be opened on two of the first Peers in Britain losing their heads within a year, at 10_s._ 6_d. per cent._ and on the dissolution of the present Parliament within one year, at 5 guineas _per cent._ which are now actually doing, and underwrote, chiefly by Scotsmen, at the above Coffee-house; it is surely high time for Administration to interfere, and by exerting the rigour of the laws against the authors and encouragers of such insurances (which must be done for some bad purpose) effectually put a stop to it."

There are certain wags who find great amusement in contriving wonderful stories for the publick, which are sometimes circulated verbally, and frequently inserted in the newspapers.--This waggery has recently received the elegant term of _hoaxing_. Twice very lately crowds have been sent to the ship-yards below London to witness the launching of men of war and Indiamen which were not ready to launch; and last winter _re-produced_ an old story of a gardener digging a pit to receive the body of a servant he had seduced, _whom he intended to have murdered_, had not his master luckily discovered the plan by the intervention of a dream. Many of these inventions are so slightly contrived that persons of very little sagacity might detect the impostor; and yet numbers are deceived.

The newspapers of 1772 furnish a rare instance of this description, which take _verbatim_:

"At the house of one Mrs. Goulding, a single gentlewoman, at Stockwell, in the parish of Lambeth, in Surrey, about eleven o'clock in the forenoon on Monday last, there being no person except herself and servant (Ann Robinson, aged fifteen years or thereabouts) several earthen plates, and one dish, of what is called the Queen's-ware, which were placed on a shelf in one of the kitchens, fell down, and all broke except the dish, without any visible cause; in a little time after, several candlesticks, and other things, the furniture of a mantle-piece in the back kitchen, were thrown into the middle of the floor, though no person was in that room; then some china, &c. on the mantle-piece in the other kitchen was in like manner thrown into the middle of the floor, and broke, and as the pieces lay, they snapped and flew just as though they had been thrown on an exceeding hot fire; a glazed lanthorn, which hung on the staircase, was thrown down; a clock also was thrown down and broke; a red earthen pan, containing salt beef, flew in pieces, and the beef fell about; and many such like uncommon things happened; which causing an alarm, the people from the road, without distinction, ran into the house, some supposing it to be on fire, others thought the house had received a shock from the explosion of a powder-mill at Hounslow, which was blown up about an hour before. However, all concurred in moving the goods; and Mrs. Goulding, together with her maid-servant, went to Mr. Gresham's, a gentleman who lives in the next house to Mrs. Goulding's, whither the goods were carried, and particularly a tray full of china, an iron bread-basket japanned, two mahogany waiters, several bottles of different sorts of liquors, a gallipot of jelly, and a pier-glass worth about five pounds, which glass was taken down by one Mr. Saville (a neighbour to Mrs. Goulding) who handed it to one Robert Hames, and a part of the gilt-work on each side of the frame flew off before he could put it down in the garden; but when it was laid down, remained without farther damage till it was taken into Mr. Gresham's, and put under a side-board, where it flew to pieces. Mr. Saville and others going to drink of a bottle of rum and a bottle of wine, they both flew in pieces, though they were uncorked; the china in the tray flew in pieces, some while it was in the house, and the rest in the garden, whither it was removed by the affrighted spectators after it began to break; the bread-basket was thrown down and broke, as also were the two mahogany waiters, and the pot of jelly, together with bottles of liquors and jars of pickles, all of them the property of Mrs. Goulding. Mrs Goulding, being ill with the fright, was let blood by Mr. Gardener, a Surgeon of Clapham, who borrowed a pint china bowl of Mr. Gresham's people to receive the blood, which being afterwards set upon a side-board, near a bottle of rum, the property of Mrs. Goulding, both bottle and bowl jumped on the floor and broke, the bowl going into five pieces (a piece of which is now in the possession of Mr. Waterfield at the Royal Oak Inn, Vauxhall). Mrs. Goulding and her servant then went to Mr. Maylin's next door to Mr. Gresham's; but during their stay there (which was but very short) nothing extraordinary happened; from thence they went to the house of Farmer Payne (to whose wife Mrs. Goulding is related) on Rush-common, near the Wash-way, about half a mile distant from her own house, where they found Mr. and Miss Gresham, Mr. Payne and his family; it being about dinner-time, they all dined with Mr. Payne; some time after dinner Mrs. Goulding's servant was sent home to examine into the state of the house, and returned with an account that every thing there had been quiet from the time they left it. In a little time after the return of the servant, Mr. and Miss Gresham went home (nothing unaccountable having yet happened at Mr. Payne's); but Mrs. Goulding and her servant staid, and about seven o'clock in the evening the same kind of uncommon operations as had been seen at Mrs. Goulding's began at Mr. Payne's, by seven pewter dishes out of eight falling from the top shelf over a dresser in the kitchen, without any apparent cause, which was followed by an infinite number of examples not less strange, and particularly the following: a pestle and mortar jumped from the mantle-piece in the kitchen to the floor, about six feet; a row of pewter plates fell from the second shelf (over the dresser) to the ground, and being taken up, and put one in the other on the dresser, which is about three feet high, they were thrown down again, and lay in the same manner as plates are generally placed on a shelf; the pewter, china, earthen-ware, &c. were then almost all set upon the floors in the kitchen and parlour (to prevent being broke or bruised by falling), but four pewter plates were left on one of the shelves over the dresser, which plates did not move the whole night. While the things were putting on the ground, a stone tea-cup jumped out of a beaufet to the floor; on the floor a glass tumbler jumped about a foot and a half and broke; another that stood near it jumped also about the same distance, but remained whole for some hours after, then took another spring and broke also; a china bowl jumped from the floor in the middle of the parlour, and went behind the feet of a claw table, which was standing in the same parlour, at the distance of about eight feet, but did not break at that time, but being replaced by one Mr. Fowler, remained whole for a considerable time afterwards, and then flew to pieces; three china cups, which had been left on the dresser in the kitchen, flew slant-wise across the kitchen about twelve feet, by which two were broke: an egg flew from the lower shelf over the dresser, taking the same direction as the cups had done, and went nearly the same distance; there was another egg on the shelf, which did not move the whole night: a candlestick flew from the mantle-piece in the kitchen into the parlour door-way, about fifteen feet from the place where it stood; a tea-kettle under the dresser was thrown out about two feet: another tea-kettle, which stood on the side of the grate, was thrown off against an iron that is fixed to keep the children from the fire; a mustard-glass, which was a little broke by some natural accident, was thrown from a table into a pewter-dish on the floor, at about seven feet distance, but did not break, neither was it broke afterwards; the cup that had escaped when the other two were broke (as is before-mentioned) being set on a table in the parlour, flew off to the distance of nine feet, and broke; a tumbler, with a little rum and water in it, standing on a waiter upon a table in the same parlour, jumped about ten feet, and broke; the table then overset, and threw off a silver tankard of Mrs. Goulding's, a candlestick, and the waiter the tumbler had jumped from; two hams, which had been hung up in the chimney to dry, fell down, though the nail and strings on and by which they had hung were not broke or misplaced; a case-bottle of liquor, part of which they had just drank, flew into pieces; and, in short, about four o'clock in the morning of Tuesday, almost every thing in the parlour and kitchen were animated, and made such a racket, that Mr. Payne's maid-servant ran up stairs, and took a child out of bed, and carried it into the stable naked, thinking it was not safe longer to stay in the house. Mrs. Goulding then seeing the general confusion, went with her servant across the road to Mr. Fowler's (the same Mr. Fowler as is before-mentioned in this narrative) and were accompanied by Mrs. Payne and her son, about nine years of age; and the confusion at Mr. Payne's immediately ceased, when Mr. Fowler had let them into his house, he proceeded to light a fire in his back room, which done, he put the candlestick and candle he had used upon a table in his fore-room (through which Mrs. Goulding and her servant had passed), where also stood another candlestick with a tin lamp in it, but they did not stand long before they were knocked against each other, and thrown to the ground by some invisible agent; then a lanthorn in the back-room, that had been used in lighting Mrs. Goulding, &c. across the road, was thrown to the ground; and lastly a basket of coals, which was brought from Mr. Payne's, overset, and emptied itself upon the floor. Mr. Fowler upon this told Mrs. Goulding he feared she had been guilty of some bad act, as it was plain the cause of such wonderful events was carried with her; but Mrs. Goulding answered, that her conscience was clear from any extraordinary evil, and that she could not tell the cause why she was so troubled, or such like words; however, Mr. Fowler desired her to quit his house, as he could not afford to have his goods destroyed; whereupon Mrs. Goulding and her servant left his house, which has been quiet ever since, and returned to her own house; and, in a little time after their arrival, a cask with some beer in it was thrown from its stand, and a pail of water was moved from its place a little, and some of the water spilled, but nothing more happened; then she discharged her servant, and has remained quiet ever since."

Another account has the following additional circumstance:

"Some plates of Mr. Gresham's, by way of trial, were placed upon the same shelf with those of Mrs. Goulding's; the former stood unhurt, the whole of Mrs. Goulding's were broke in pieces.

"The servant girl is gone home to her father, the clerk of Lewisham parish; and what remains are now just as inanimate as the furniture of other houses."

The following extracts from Nugent's translation of M. Grosley's Tour to London are inserted as the means by which the reader may collect facts in proof of my opinion, that the manners of the populace are greatly improved since the above period.

"Amongst the people of London we should properly distinguish the Porters, Sailors, Chairmen, and the Day-labourers who work in the streets, not only from persons of condition, most of whom walk a-foot merely because it is their fancy, but even from the lowest class of shopkeepers.

"The former are as insolent a rabble as can be met with in countries without law or police. The French, at whom their rudeness is chiefly levelled, would be in the wrong to complain, since even the better sort of Londoners are not exempt from it. Inquire of them your way to a street: if it be upon the right, they direct you to the left, or they send you from one of their vulgar comrades to another. The most shocking abuse and ill language make a part of their pleasantry upon these occasions. To be assailed in such a manner, it is not absolutely necessary to be engaged in conversation with them; it is sufficient to pass by them. My French air, notwithstanding the simplicity of my dress, drew upon me, at the corner of every street, a volley of abusive litanies, in the midst of which I slipped on, returning thanks to God I did not understand English. The constant burthen of these litanies was, French dog, French b--: to make any answer to them, was accepting a challenge to fight; and my curiosity did not carry me so far. I saw in the streets a scuffle of this kind, between a Porter and a Frenchman, who spit in his face, not being able to make any other answer to the torrent of abuse which the former poured out against the latter without any provocation. The late Marshal Saxe, walking through London streets, happened to have a dispute with a scavenger, which ended in a boxing bout, wherein his dexterity received the general applause of the spectators: he let the scavenger come upon him, then seized him by the neck, and made him fly up into the air, in such a direction, that he fell into the middle of his cart, which was brimful of dirt.

"Happening to pass one day through Chelsea, in company with an English gentleman, a number of Watermen drew themselves up in a line, and attacked him, on my account, with all the opprobrious terms which the English language can supply, succeeding each other, like students who defend a thesis: at the third attack, my friend, stepping short, cried out to them, that they said the finest things in the world, but unluckily he was deaf: and that, as for me, I did not understand a word of English, and that their wit was of consequence thrown away upon me. This remonstrance appeased them; and they returned laughing to their business.

"M. de la Condamine, in his journey to London two or three years ago, was followed, wherever he went, by a numerous crowd, who were drawn together by a great tube of block-tin, which he had always to his ear; by an unfolded map of London which he held in his hand; and by frequent pauses, whenever he met with any object worthy of his attention. At his first going abroad, being frequently hemmed in by the crowd, which prevented his advancing forward, he cried out to his interpreter, 'What would all these people have?' Upon this, the interpreter, applying his mouth to the tube, answered by crying out to him, 'They are making game of you.' At last they became used to the sight; and ceased to crowd about him as he walked the streets.

"The day after my arrival, my servant discovered, by sad experience, what liberties the mob are accustomed to take with the French, and all who have the appearance of being such. He had followed the crowd to Tyburn, where three rogues were hanged, two of whom were father and son. The execution being over, as he was returning home through Oxford-road with the remains of the numerous multitude which had been present at the execution, he was attacked by two or three blackguards; and, the crowd having soon surrounded him, he made a sight for the rabble. Jack Ketch, the executioner, joined in the sport, and entering the circle, struck the poor sufferer upon the shoulder. They began to drag him about by the skirts of his coat, and by his shoulder-knot; when luckily for him, he was perceived by three grenadiers belonging to the French guards, who, having deserted, and crossed the seas, were then drinking at an ale-house hard by the scene of action. Armed with such weapons as chance presented them, they suddenly attacked the mob, laid on soundly upon such as came within their reach, and brought their countryman off safe to the ale-house, and from thence to my lodgings. Seven or eight campaigns which he had served with an officer in the gens-d'armes, and a year which he afterwards passed in Italy, had not sufficiently inured him to bear this rough treatment; it had a most surprising effect upon him. He shut himself up in the house a fortnight, where he vented his indignation in continual imprecations against England and the English. Strong and robust as he was, if he had had any knowledge of the language and the country, he might have come off nobly, by proposing a boxing bout to the man whom he thought weakest amongst the crowd of assailants: if victorious, he would have been honourably brought home, and had his triumph celebrated even by those who now joined against him. This is the first law of this species of combat; a law which the English punctually observe in the heat of battle, where the vanquished always find a generous conqueror in that nation. This should seem to prove, in contradiction to Hobbes, that in the state of nature, a state with which the street-scufflers of London are closely connected, man, who is by fits wicked and cruel, is, at the bottom, good-natured and generous.

"I have already observed, that the English themselves are not secure from the insolence of the London mob. I had a proof of this from the young Surgeon who accompanied me from Paris to Boulogne.

"At the first visit which he paid me in London, he informed me, that, a few days after his arrival, happening to take a walk through the fields on the Surrey-side of the Thames, dressed in a little green frock which he had brought from Paris, he was attacked by three of those gentlemen of the mobility, who, taking him for a Frenchman, not only abused him with the foulest language, but gave him two or three slaps on the face. 'Luckily,' added he in French, 'I did not return their ill language; for, if I had, they would certainly have thrown me into the Thames, as they assured me they would, as soon as they perceived I was an Englishman, if I ever happened to come in their way again in my Paris dress.'

"A Portuguese of my acquaintance, taking a walk in the same fields, with three of his countrymen, their conversation in Portuguese was interrupted by two Watermen, who, doubling their fists at them, cried, 'French dogs, speak your damned French, if you dare.'

"Happening to go one evening from the part of the town where I lived to the Museum, I passed by the Seven-dials. The place was crowded with people waiting to see a poor wretch stand in the pillory, whose punishment was deferred to another day. The mob, provoked at this disappointment, vented their rage upon all that passed that way, whether a-foot or in coaches; and threw at them dirt, rotten eggs, dead dogs, and all sorts of trash and ordure, which they had provided to pelt the unhappy wretch, according to custom. Their fury fell chiefly upon the hackney-coaches, the drivers of which they forced to salute them with their whips and their hats, and to cry _huzza_; which word is a signal for rallying in all public frays. The disturbance upon this occasion was so much the greater, as the person who was to have acted the principal part in the scene, which by being postponed had put the rabble into such an ill-humour, belonged to the nation which that rabble thinks it has most right to insult.

"In England, no rank or dignity is secure from their insults. The young Queen herself was exposed to them upon her first arrival at London: the rabble was affronted at her Majesty's keeping one window of her sedan chair drawn up.

"The politeness, the civility, and the officiousness of people of good breeding, whom we meet in the streets, as well as the obliging readiness of the citizens and shopkeepers, even of the inferior sort, sufficiently indemnify and console us for the insolence of the mob, as I have often experienced.

"Whatever haste a gentleman may be in, whom you happen to meet in the streets, as soon as you speak to him, he stops to answer, and often steps out of his way to direct you, or to consign you to the care of some one who seems to be going the same way. A gentleman one day put me in this manner under the care of a handsome young directress, who was returning home with a fine young child in her arms. I travelled on very agreeably, though I had a great way to go, lending an arm to my guide; and we conversed together as well as two persons could do, one of whom scarce understood a word spoken by the other. I had frequent conversations of this sort in the streets, in which, notwithstanding all the pains I took to make myself understood, and others took to understand me, I could not succeed: I then would quit my guide, and say to him, with a laugh, and squeeze of the hand, _Tower of Babylon_! He would laugh on his side likewise; and so we used to part.

"Having occasion to inquire for a certain person in Oxford-road, I shewed his address at the first shop I came to; when out stepped a young man, in white silk stockings, a waistcoat of fine cloth, and an apron about his waist. After having examined whether I was able to follow him, he made me a sign, and began to run on before me. During this race, which was from one end of the street to the other, I thought that my guide had interest in view; and therefore I got ready a shilling, which I offered him upon arriving at the proper place; but he refused it with generous disdain, and taking hold of my hand, which he shook violently, he thanked me for the pleasure I had procured him. I afterwards saw him at the tabernacle of the Methodists.

"To take a man in this manner by the arm, and shake it till his shoulder is almost dislocated, is one of the grand testimonies of friendship which the English give each other, when they happen to meet: this they do very coolly; there is no expression of friendship in their countenances, yet the whole soul enters the arm which gives the shake. This supplies the place of the embraces and salutes of the French. The English seem to regulate their behaviour upon these occasions by the rules prescribed by Alexander Severus to those who approached his person[390:A].

"I met with the same politeness and civil treatment at all the public and private assemblies to which I was admitted. At the House of Lords as well as at the House of Commons, a foreigner may take the liberty to address himself to any gentleman who understands his language; and those who are applied to upon these occasions think it their duty to answer his questions. At the first meeting of the House of Lords to try Lord Byron, I happened to be seated amidst a family as much distinguished by their high rank as their amiable qualities. They all shewed the utmost eagerness to satisfy my curiosity with regard to the several particulars of this extraordinary spectacle; to explain to me all that was said; to instruct me with regard to the origin of the most remarkable ceremonies; and, in fine, to share with me the refreshments, which the length of the trial made it necessary for them to provide.

"When the King came to the House of Lords to give the royal assent to Bills, one of the Bishops near whom I was seated offered to be my interpreter; and he took upon him to serve me in that capacity during the whole time I staid.

"At the courts of Common Pleas, King's Bench, and Exchequer, in Westminster, I seated myself amongst the Lawyers; and upon my speaking French to the two next me, neither of whom happened to understand that language, one of them rose, and brought a brother Lawyer, who, being acquainted with the French tongue, explained to me the best he could all that passed.

"At the play-houses and other public diversions, I had the same good fortune. Those that did not understand me, were eager to look for somebody that did; and my interpreter, who had taken a bottle of wine with him, never drank without afterwards presenting me with it: I made it a rule to drink, because having declined the first time it was offered, I was given to understand, that such a refusal was contrary to the laws of English politeness.

"It must, however, be observed, that this obliging behaviour is not accompanied with all those external demonstrations of civility, which are customary upon such occasions in France. If an English gentleman, who did not understand me, went in quest of an interpreter, he rose, and quitted me with an air, which seemed rather to be that of a whimsical humourist, than of a gentleman who was going to do a polite action; and I saw no more of him.

"I met with the same civility and complaisance amongst all the shop-keepers, whether great or little. The tradesman sent his son or his daughter to me, who often served me as guide, after having first acted as an interpreter: for some years past, the French language has been taught as universally as the English, in all the boarding-schools of London; so that French will soon be by choice the language of the people of England, as it was by constraint and necessity under the Norman Kings. This is a demonstration, that the antipathy of that Nation for every thing belonging to the French is not universal and without exception.

"The French are apt to imagine, that it is on account of their country they are pushed and shoved in the most frequented streets, and often driven into the kennel; but they are mistaken. The English walk very fast: their thoughts being entirely engrossed by business, they are very punctual to their appointments, and those who happen to be in their way are sure to be sufferers by it: constantly darting forward, they jostle them with a force proportioned to their bulk and the velocity of their motion. I have seen foreigners, not used to this exercise, let themselves be tossed and whirled about a long time, in the midst of a crowd of passengers, who had nothing else in view but to get forward. Having soon adopted the English custom, I made the best of my way through crowded streets, exerting my utmost efforts to shun persons who were equally careful to avoid me.

"We should be equally in an error, if we were to imagine that the English fashions, diametrically opposite to those of France, are contrived in the manner they are, in order to avoid all resemblance to those of our Nation: on the contrary, if the former are any way influenced by the latter, it is by the desire of imitating them. A mode begins to be out of date at Paris, just when it has been introduced at London by some English Nobleman. The Court and the first-rate Nobility immediately take it up: it is next introduced about St. James's by those that ape the manners of the Court; and by the time it has reached the City, a contrary mode already prevails at Paris, where the English, bringing with them the obsolete mode, appear like the people of another world. The little hats, for example, at present so fashionable in France, begin to be wore by the Nobility, who borrowed the model from Paris: by degrees the English will come at the diminutive size; but the great hats will then be resumed at Paris. This holds good in general, with regard both to men and women's apparel."

It has long been customary for the lower classes to hold a burlesque election at Wandsworth after a dissolution of Parliament for the choice of a Mayor of Garratt. To describe the strange proceedings of the candidates, who are always selected from the most ludicrous or most hideous of the community, or the riotous freaks of the mob, would be impossible. One vast wave of the populace rolls impetuous from London after the candidates and officers of the election; and, if there is but little taste in their dresses, there is always much "unreal mockery" of finery disposed in a manner which cannot but excite laughter, and the curiosity of those who are but little satisfied to witness the quarrels and intoxication that distinguish the electors of the borough of Garratt.

Many whimsical and satirical imitations of speeches and promises are made upon these occasions; but the electors, contrary to the customs of other elections, always _treat themselves_, though _tin_ sixpences have sometimes been thrown amongst the mob _as bribes_.

The present member for Garratt is _Sir_ Henry Dimsdale, Citizen and Muffin-seller, one of the oddest productions of injured nature, _and an idiot_. It is strange that the people who act these follies cannot perceive they are satirizing themselves. If they were not willing to be deceived, promises never meant to be performed would not be made; and, if they would neither receive bribes nor be treated, candidates would never offer the former, or furnish materials for the latter. When they chair a real member through Westminster, after having violated the freedom of election by deeds which deserve hanging, these wanton fools pull the hustings over their own heads, and frequently maim peaceable spectators.--Such are the electors of Garratt and . . . . . . . . !

FOOTNOTES:

[231:A] "This should be _Cuper's_ gardens, formerly the Bear Garden." _European Magazine._

[231:B] "This should be the _Folly_; a very large vessel, said to have been the hulk of a ship of war or frigate, which was moored on the Surrey-side of the Thames, nearly opposite Hungerford stairs, and, consequently, abreast of _Cuper's_ gardens. It was used as a floating _tavern_ and _bagnio_. The proprietors had an idea, that a licence was not necessary for a place of this _description on the river_, and it was continued many years unrestrained, till at length its enormities became so notorious, that its suppression was deemed a most necessary object of Police." _Ibid._

[232:A] At Hoxton.

[233:A] Heraclitus Ridens.

[244:A] No Coaches to be admitted but with six horses, nor any Coach to come into the Park after ten of the clock in the morning.

[257:A] Daughter to the earl of Ranelagh.

[266:A] Original Weekly Journal, May 21, 1720.

[280:A] "This house was one of the last of the hundreds of Drury Taverns (for in that district it was included). Tradition formerly said it had, in the reign of Charles II. been much celebrated for the gaiety of its visitors. The rooms in which the concerts were performed and balls given, were at the top of the house: these were large, others smaller; the bar conveniently situated to see who went up stairs. All the premises, except the Tavern part, which dwindled into a public-house, were let to an organ-builder and harpsichord-maker."

_European Magazine._

[336:A] _Vide_ London Chronicle, vol. IX. p. 375.

[390:A] "If any Courtier bowed in a cringing manner, or used flattering expressions, he was either banished the Court, if the nature of his place admitted of it; or turned into ridicule, if his dignity exempted him from any severer punishment." Lampridius, Life of Alexander Severus.

CHAP. IV.

ANECDOTES OF ECCENTRICITY.

To particularise every species of Eccentricity which has distinguished this great community would be useless; but the whims of certain individuals of it ought to be noticed, in order that a just estimate may be formed of the grand whole. In the month of November 1700 an old gentleman was found lifeless on the floor of his apartment in Dartmouth-street by his landlady, who had been alarmed by hearing him fall. He died intestate, and worth 600_l. per annum_; but his manner of living was penurious to the most extravagant degree, allowing nature barely four-penny worth of boiled meat and broth _per_ day. When he went from home he was under the necessity of hiring a boy for a penny to lead him across the Park, as he was near-sighted; but this was almost the only intercourse he had with mankind, except to receive his rents, which may be imagined from the state of his clothing as he lay dead: the body had seven shirts on it, each dreadfully soiled, and that next the skin actually decayed; and his other clothing was tied on with cords, that had even lacerated the flesh.

Eccentricity may exist in the brain of the most exalted character; the best intentions are often marked by it; therefore the reader must not suppose that censure is implied when good actions are classed under this head: he that deviates from the common path is eccentric; but, if his purposes are virtuous, the good man will forgive the deviation.

Some Professors of Religion are very apt to be eccentric in their conduct. Joseph Jacobs was the leader of a set of enthusiasts in 1702, who preached to his votaries at Turners-hall: he was originally a Linen-draper. "Observator" says, his congregation were "the remnant of the tribe of Ishmael; for their hand is against every body, and every body's hand against them. By their bristles (they suffered their hair to flourish luxuriantly) one would take them to be a herd of the Gaderines swine into which the Devil has newly entered, from whom at latter Lammas we shall have great cry and little wool. They are compounded of Philadelphians, Sweet-singers, Seekers, and Muggletonians. Their system of Divinity is a hodge-podge of Jacobs' putting together, and their philosophy is that of Jacob Behmen's. If their women do not backslide from the truth, it is their native virtue keeps them steadfast; for their Pastor by trade is authorised to examine their clouts. He that has the longest whiskers amongst them is by so much the better member; but Jacobs measures their profession by the Mustachio, and not by the ell and yard, as he used to do his linen. By their look you would take them to be of the Society of Bedlam; madmen we found them, and so we leave them."

This eccentric preacher died in June 1722. He retained the name of Whisker Jacobs to the day of his death. As he was singular in his life, so was he at his departure, having given orders that no mourning should be used at his interment in Bunhill-fields. Accordingly his executors gave the company white gloves and rings, but no scarfs or hatbands.

It would be extremely wrong not to include Dr. Sacheverell in the list. This gentleman contrived to turn his talents in eccentricity to some account, and was the cause of a wonderful acquisition of members to the class of oddities. I shall leave the Doctor's "birth, parentage, and education," to the biographers who have treated of the subject; and introduce him as a _singular_ character, and a willing instrument in the hands of faction, and as one that contrived to confound the State, rouse the passions, and raise a mob wherever he chose to exhibit himself; nay, even to animate the Rev. Mr. Palmer, preacher at Whitehall, at the risk of suspension, to pray for him by name as a patient sufferer under the persecution of the House of Lords, who brought him to trial, Feb. 27, 1709-10, on charges of having maintained that the necessary means used to bring about the Revolution were odious and unjustifiable; that resistance to the Supreme Power was illegal under any pretence whatever; that it was the duty of superior pastors to thunder out their ecclesiastical anathema's against persons entitled to the benefit of the toleration, &c. &c.; which they decreed the Commons had substantiated, contents 69, non-contents 52. After this event he became the idol of the mob, and of several well-meaning but weak people. His vanity led him to make a kind of triumphal journey through the country, where he was generally received as a conqueror, and in some instances by Corporations and the Clergy with flags displayed, ringing of bells, and bonfires. However disgraceful such conduct, he furnished the industrious of many classes with the means of enriching themselves: the Printers and Publishers fattened on his Sermons and his Trial; the Engraver on his physiognomy; and even the Fan-maker sold his "Emblematical fans with the true effigies of the Rev. Dr. Henry Sacheverell done to the life, and several curious hieroglyphicks in honour of the Church of England finely painted and mounted on extraordinary genteel sticks." After this summary of the Doctor's exploits, who will deny his claim to eccentricity, or that he was a most unworthy son of the Church, a teacher of bigotry, not of peace? But he is forgotten; and but one small marble lozenge shews his present resting-place.

In 1711 Gustavus Parker entertained the publick with a specimen of his eccentricity, exhibited in a "Monthly Weather-paper," or baroscopical prognosticks of the description of Weather to happen a month _after_ his publication. He even pronounced whether there would be warm or cold rain, or be clear, for the day and night, and from which point the wind would blow. Though Mr. Parker entered into a laboured explanation of the principles on which he founded his infallible judgment, they were confuted most completely by the observations of an individual, who placed the real state of the weather opposite the anticipated; from which I pronounce him no conjurer.

Politicks had arrived to a dreadful state of effervescence in 1713. Many authors exerted themselves to fan the flames, and but few endeavoured to extinguish them. One eccentric person ("which lived at the sign of the Queen's-arms _and Corn-cutter_ in King-street, Westminster, where a blue sign-board is fixed to _the other_ that shews what cures I perform, _viz._ the scurvy in the gums, or tooth-ache, likewise the piles and all casual sores, and fasteneth loose teeth, and causeth decayed gums to grow firm and well again") with more zeal than ability collected a _farrago_ of scraps of religion and moral sayings, and connected them in a way peculiar to himself by fervent wishes and pious ejaculations; which he published twice a-week under the title of the "Balm of Gilead, or the Healer of Divisions, by Thomas Smith, Operator."--I consider this Thomas Smith a worthy predecessor of many an Itinerant Methodist.

The public-house is a hot-bed for vulgar eccentricity; and without doubt the following mad exploit of four men in January 1715-16 originated in one of them, which is thus described in the London Post of the 21st. They solemnly bound themselves to support each other in every difficulty and danger that might occur during an excursion up the Thames on the ice for four days, in which they determined to avoid every track made by man, and to explore a way for themselves. They set out provided with poles from the Old Swan near London-bridge; and two of them were seen to fall through air-holes opposite Somerset-house and Lambeth, but the others were never heard of.

I am rather at a loss under what title to place the ignorance and absurdity displayed in the ensuing paragraph, copied from the News Letter of Feb. 25, 1716; but, as superstition is closely allied to folly, and eccentricity is a species of folly, I believe this to be the proper one. "The Flying Horse, a noted victualling-house in Moor-fields, _next to that of the late Astrologer Trotter_, has been molested for several nights past in an _unaccountable manner_; abundance of stones, glass bottles, clay, &c. being thrown into the back side of the house, to the great _amazement and terror_ of the family and guests. It is altogether unknown how it happened, though all the neighbouring houses were diligently searched, and men appointed in proper places to find the occasion."

The unknown author of the Advertisement which follows appears to have been nearly related to Thomas Smith the Corn-cutter, but far more enlightened. The motives that dictated it must be approved, however extraordinary such a production may appear in the Postman of July 31, 1716. "Whoever you are to whose hands this comes, let the truth it contains abide upon your mind, as what is intended for your greatest benefit. The method taken I know is uncommon; yet, if there is the least probability of success, though it be only with a few, the design will be justified, as intending the glory of God in your salvation. Remember then that you were once told in this manner, that being zealous for names and parties is what will stand you in no stead at death, except you have the life in you that shall never die. Are you a Christian? or, have you only the name from education, as it is the professed Religion of your Country? If you can say on your conscience you have endeavoured to lay aside prejudice wherein you might have reason to suspect yourself of it, and, apprehending your lost condition without a Saviour as revealed in the Gospel, you have devoted yourself to God in him, and therefore hope you are a true Christian, it is well--give God the praise; but, if in your conscience you must say you have no more than the name, stay Man, Woman, whoever you be, consider, think before this go out of your mind or hand how you shall escape, if you neglect so great salvation."

The nobility and young men of fashion of most countries are rather eccentric in their amusements; and surely this observation may safely be applied to those of England in 1717, when a set of _escape graces_ subscribed for a piece of plate, which was run for in Tyburn-road by six Asses rode by Chimney-sweepers; and two boys rode two Asses at Hampstead-heath for a _wooden spoon_ attended by above 500 persons on horseback. Women running for Holland smocks was not uncommon; nay, a match was talked of for a race of women in hooped petticoats; and another actually took place in consequence of a wager of 1000_l._ between the Earl of Lichfield and Esquire Gage, that Gage's Chaise and pair would outrun the Earl's Chariot and four. The ground was from Tyburn to Hayes; and Gage lost through some accident. Vast sums were betted on all these eccentric operations.

In the month of February 1717-18, James Austin, inventor of the Persian Ink-powder, most extravagantly grateful to his customers, determined to do an act which renders him a fit subject for my groupe of oddities. He selected the Boar's-head in East-cheap for the reception of those persons, and provided for them a Pudding, to be boiled fourteen days, for which he allowed a chaldron of coals; and another baked, a cube of one foot; and nearly a whole Ox roasted. Such was the fare. The musick was commensurate with the vastness of the entertainment, at least in one particular; which was a drum, that had served as an alarm in some Turkish army, eighteen feet in length, and near four feet in diameter. Swift might have made good use of Austin in the travels of Lemuel Gulliver.

Mist's Journal notices the Austin feast a second time, and asserts that the copper for boiling the great pudding was then, April 19, erected at the Red-lion in Southwark Park, where crowds of people went to see it. Mist adds that the pudding would weigh 900lb.; and when boiled was to be conveyed to the _Swan Tavern_, Fish-street-hill, Monday, May 26, to the tune of "What lumps of pudding my mother gave me!"

Poor Austin boiled his pudding, and advertised that the company expected was so numerous, he should be under the necessity of carrying it to the Restoration-gardens in St. George's-fields, where he _attempted_ to convey it, as appears from a second notice; but the rabble, attracted by the ridiculous cavalcade, broke through every restraint, and carried off banners, streamers, &c. &c. which he demanded should be restored by the 6th of June under pain of prosecution for robbery. He says nothing of the fate of his Pudding; I must therefore leave him, in order to pay attention to a fellow-labourer in the works of singularity--a poor Benedict, who declared in the Flying Post of July 8, 1718, "About two years ago I intermarried with the daughter of Ben Bound of Foster-lane, ironmonger, who agreed to give me 600_l._ Soon after he furnished me three rooms to the value of 50_l._, for which he pretended he gave 300_l._; upon which I asked him for the remainder of the 600_l._; but he answered, if I insisted upon any money, he would sue me for the goods. Whereupon I filed a bill in Chancery against him, and he owned in his answer he had given me the goods; but, being resolved to have them again at any rate, upon the 11th of June last he persuaded my wife to carry them away; and upon the 12th I was arrested in a sham action for 200_l._ at the suit of one Jeffery Sharpe (whom I never heard of before), and by 14 officers carried to prison; and in the mean time my house was ransacked; and, had it not been for an Attorney, I had not saved the value of one penny, most of my goods being carried away, and the rest packed up. And after they had kept my wife a fortnight, they were so barbarous to let her lie two nights upon chairs; so that she is returned to me again: and I hope if her father desist from giving her ill advice, and coveting the rest of my goods, she will still prove a good wife.

JOHN NEWALL."

A woman who lived in great apparent poverty died in March 1718 within the parish of St. Dunstan in the East. Those who prepared her for burial are said to have found 8000_l._ concealed in her bed.

The malicious Miser deserves a niche in this temple of worthies. Such was Mr. Elderton, a farmer of Bow, who went by the name of the old Farmer of Newgate; where he was confined, and even died, because he had determined not to pay the assessments in common with his neighbours[406:A].

Another worthy was Mr. Dyche, whose singularity is thus mentioned in the Whitehall Evening-Post for August 1619: "Yesterday died Mr. Dyche, late School-master to the Charity Children of St. Andrew Holborn. He was a strict Nonjuror, and formerly _amanuensis_ to the famous Sir Roger L'Estrange. It is said he wore a piece of the halter in which parson Paul was executed (in the rebellion of 1715, for carrying arms against the King) in his bosom; and some time before his death had made a solemn vow _not to shift his linen_ till the Pretender was seated on the Throne of these Realms."

In the month of March 1720 an unknown lady died at her lodgings in James-street, Covent-garden. She is represented to have been a middle-sized person, with dark-brown hair and very beautiful features, and mistress of every accomplishment peculiar to ladies of the first fashion and respectability. Her age appeared to be between thirty and forty. Her circumstances were affluent, and she possessed the richest trinkets of her sex generally set with diamonds. A John Ward, Esq. of Hackney, published many particulars relating to her in the papers; and, amongst others, that a servant had been directed by her to deliver him a letter after her death; but as no servant appeared, he felt himself required to notice those circumstances, in order to acquaint her relations of her decease, which occurred suddenly after a masquerade, where she declared she had conversed with the King, and it was remembered that she had been seen in the private apartments of Queen Anne; though after the Queen's demise she had lived in obscurity. This unknown arrived in London from Mansfield in 1714, drawn by six horses. She frequently said that her father was a nobleman, but that her elder brother dying unmarried the title was extinct; adding that she had an uncle then living, whose title was his least recommendation.

It was conjectured that she might be the daughter of a Roman Catholick who had consigned her to a Convent, whence a brother had released her, and supported her in privacy. She was buried at St. Paul's, Covent-garden.

When some decay in the draw-bridge on London-bridge had rendered it necessary to prevent the passage of persons and vehicles, in order to its repair in April 1722; the silence and desolate appearance of a place so much frequented at all other times attracted the attention of some wealthy tradesmen, who entered into the whimsical resolution to have a table set in the midst of the street, where they sat drinking for an afternoon, that they might be enabled to say at a future period, "however crowded the bridge is at present, I have drank punch on it for great part of a day."