Chapter V: Part 5

ALEXANDER. How are you, Madame Salome? What is Miss Natalie doing? Since that evening I have not had the pleasure of seeing her.

SALOME. Thank you, she is very well. The concert that evening pleased me exceedingly. Thank heaven that so good a fashion has found entrance among us. In this way we have a perfect bazaar for the marriageable girls, for had not this concert taken place where would you two have found an opportunity to make each other's acquaintance? Where else could you have caught sight of each other?

ALEXANDER. Dear lady, Miss Natalie must please everybody without concerts, and awaken love in them. Oh, how I bless my fate that it is my happy lot to win her love!

SALOME. And my Nato pleases you, dear son-in-law?

ALEXANDER. Oh, I love her with all my heart, dear madame!

SALOME. If you love her so much, dear son, why did you exact so much money? For the sake of 1,000 rubles this affair almost went to pieces. Your sister Champera swore to me that if we did not give 1,000 rubles more you would this very day betroth yourself to the daughter of Barssegh Leproink.

ALEXANDER. I wonder, Madame Salome, that you should credit such things. I marry Leproink's daughter! I refuse Miss Natalie on her account! forget her beautiful black eyes and her good heart, and run after money! Would not that be shameful in me! I must confess to you freely, dear madame, that my sister's way of doing things is hateful to me. _Fi mauvais genre!_ But let us say no more about it. If only God will help us to a good ending!

SALOME. God grant that neither of you may have anything to regret!--[_rising_] I will come back immediately, dear son-in-law; I am only going to see what is keeping Nato. [_Alexander also rises_.] Keep your seat, I beg of you. How ceremonious you are! I will come right back. [_Exit right_.

SCENE XII

ALEXANDER [_alone._] At last my burning wish is fulfilled! Now I have both a pretty wife and money. Without money a man is not of the least importance. Let him give himself what trouble he may, if he has no money, no one will pay any attention to him. I have made only one mistake in the business. I have been in too much of a hurry. If I had held out a little longer they would have given me 8,000 rubles; now I must be satisfied with 7,000. Still, what was to be done? It would not have gone through otherwise; and for that matter, I may, perhaps, somehow make up for it in other ways. In any case, I stand here on a fat pasture-land where they seem to be pretty rich. The principal thing is that I should make myself popular among them, then I shall have succeeded in getting my fill out of them. Ha, ha, ha! How they worry themselves! Yes, the whole office will be in an uproar to-morrow. [_With affected voice_:] "Have you heard the news? Marmarow is engaged, and has received 7,000 rubles dowry. And such a beautiful girl! Such a lovely creature!" [_Clucking with his tongue and changing his voice_:] "Is it possible!" [_In his own voice_:] Charming, charming, Marmarow! [_Looking at his clothing:_] Chic! A true gentleman am I! Yes, I am getting on. I must now think only of to-morrow and the next day, and how to get on further. The principal thing is for a man to know the value of money, for without money nothing can be undertaken. First, I shall have the interest on my capital; then my salary, and last some hundred rubles beside. That makes 3,000 or 4,000 rubles a year. If I lay aside 1,000 rubles every year, I have in seven or eight years 10,000; in fifteen years double that, and so on. Yes, Monsieur Marmarow, you understand it! Be happy, therefore, and let the others burst with envy.

_Salome and Nato enter at the right, Salome holding Nato's hand_.

ALEXANDER. Miss Natalie, the whole night long I thought only of you! [_Kisses her hand_.]

SALOME. Kiss her on the cheek and give her the engagement ring.

ALEXANDER. Oh, you are the sun of my existence! [_Draws a ring from his finger and gives it to Natalie_.] From now on you are mine. Please! [_Kisses her_.]

SALOME. Be happy and may you reach old age together. [_Kisses Alexander; then Nato_.] God bless you, my children. Sit down, I pray you, Alexander [_pointing to the sofa on which Alexander and Nato sit down_]. Your father will soon be here. [_Walks to and fro in joyful excitement_.]

ALEXANDER [_looking at Nato_]. Dear Natalie, why are you so silent? Let me hear your sweet voice, I beg of you.

NATO. I am speechless, Monsieur Marmarow.

ALEXANDER. Monsieur!

NATO. Dear Alexander.

ALEXANDER [_seizing her hand_]. So! That sounds much sweeter! [_Kisses her hand_.]

_Enter Chacho_.

SALOME. Come in, dear aunt.

CHACHO. Such a thing has never happened to me before! Could you not wait till the man of the house arrived?

SALOME. Oh, it is all the same; he will be here soon enough. Give them your blessing, I beg of you.

CHACHO. May God bestow all good things upon you. May heaven grant the prayer of me, a sinner. [_Alexander and Nato stand up_.] May you have nothing to regret. May you flourish and prosper and grow old together on the same pillow. [_Ossep comes to the door and stands astonished_.]

CHACHO [_continuing_]. God grant that your first may be a boy! Love and respect each other! May the eye of the Czar look down on you with mercy! [_Sees Ossep_.] Let the father now offer you his good wishes.

SALOME. Dear Ossep, congratulate your daughter.

NATO. Dear papa!
[_Goes up to Ossep and kisses his hand. Ossep stands
motionless_.

ALEXANDER [_seizing Ossep's hand_]. From now on, dear father, count me among your children. [_Turning to Nato offended_:] What is this?

SALOME. Don't be impolite, Ossep.

CHACHO. What has happened to you, Ossep?

ALEXANDER [_to Salome_]. I understand nothing of this. [_To Ossep_:] My father, you seem dissatisfied.

OSSEP [_recovering himself_]. I dissatisfied! No--yes--I am dizzy.

ALEXANDER [_offering him a chair_]. Sit down, I pray, my father.

OSSEP [_to Alexander_]. Do not trouble yourself. It is already passed.

SALOME. Can one meet his son-in-law like that? And such a son-in-law, beside! Say something, do.

OSSEP. What shall I say, then? You have consummated the betrothal. God grant that all will end well. [_To Alexander_:] Please be seated.

ALEXANDER. My father, when do you wish the betrothal to be celebrated?

OSSEP. That depends upon you. Do as you wish.

ALEXANDER. I will invite twenty persons and bring them with me. My superiors I must invite also; it would not do to omit them.

OSSEP. Do as you see fit.

ALEXANDER [_to Salome_]. Perhaps he is angry with me. If there is any reason for it, pray tell me now.

SALOME. What are you saying? That cannot be!
[_They move away a little and speak softly together_.

OSSEP [_on the other side of the stage to Chacho_]. You Godforsaken! Could you not wait a moment?

CHACHO. What is the matter now?

OSSEP. Only God in heaven knows how I stand! Think of it! Santurian has failed.

CHACHO. Great heaven!

ALEXANDER [_offering Nato his arm_]. Something must have happened!
[_They go off at the left, Salome following_.

OSSEP. Righteous God, why dost thou punish me thus?

SALOME [_returning to Ossep_]. Do with me as you will, but it could not have been helped. I have promised him 7,000 rubles as dowry, [_Turning to Chacho as she leaves the room_:] Pray come with me, aunt. You come, too, Ossep. [_Exit Salome_.

SCENE XIII

OSSEP [_much excited_]. What do I hear? Has she spoken the truth? Do you hear? Why do you not answer me? Why are you silent? [_Still more excited_.] It is true, then! Yes, yes, I see that it is true! O God, let lightning strike this unlucky house that we may all die together. I have just lost an important sum and come home to prevent further negotiations. And see there!

CHACHO. I am to blame for it. Do not get excited. I will add 1,000 rubles to it, if need be, from the money I have laid by for my burial.

OSSEP. From your burial money? Have I already fallen so low that I must ask alms? Keep your money for yourself! I do not want it. Drop that complaint also, for I am still rich, very rich. How can it injure me that Santurian has failed? I stand here firm and unshakable, and have inexhaustible money resources. [_Tearing his hair_.] O God! O God! [_Walks to and fro excitedly_.] Now I will go and wish my son-in-law joy. Yes, I must go so that I shall not make myself ridiculous to him. The man is a government official! [_Exit right, laughing bitterly_.

CHACHO. Gracious heaven, be thou our saviour and deliverer.

CURTAIN.

ACT SECOND

SCENE I

_A richly furnished sales-room in Barssegh's house_.

MICHO. Two, three, four, five, six and this little piece. It does not measure so much!

BARSSEGH [_standing up and giving Micho a rap on the nose_]. You have what is lacking there. Measure again. Now you've got what is lacking. I will tear your soul out of your body if you measure so that in seven arschin[44] it comes out one werschok short.

[44] Russian measure of length.

MICHO [_measuring again_]. O dear, O dear!

BARSSEGH. Look out, or I will take that "O dear" out of your ear. Be up and at it now!

MICHO. Oh, Mr. Barssegh! [_Measuring._] One, two, three--

BARSSEGH. Stretch it, you blockhead.

MICHO [_stretching the cotton_]. Three, four. [_Wipes the perspiration from his brow_.]

BARSSEGH. What is the matter with you? You sweat as though you had a mule-pack on your back.

MICHO. Five.

BARSSEGH. Pull it out more.

MICHO. Six and this little piece. It lacks three werschok again.

BARSSEGH [_pulling his ears_]. It lacks three werschok? There they are!

MICHO. Oh my, oh my!

BARSSEGH. You calf; will you ever develop into a man?

MICHO. O dear mother!

BARSSEGH [_pulling him again by the ear_]. Doesn't it grow longer?

MICHO [_crying_]. Dear Mr. Barssegh, dear sir, let me go.

BARSSEGH. I want to teach you how to measure.

MICHO. It reaches, I say; it reaches, indeed; it reaches. Let me measure again.

BARSSEGH. Now take care that you make it seven arschin.

MICHO [_aside_]. Holy Karapet, help me. [_Measuring_.] One, two--

BARSSEGH. O you blockhead!

MICHO. Three.

BARSSEGH Wake up!

MICHO. Four.

BARSSEGH. Haven't you seen how Dartscho measures?

MICHO. Five.

BARSSEGH. Will you ever learn how to do it?

MICHO. Five.

BARSSEGH. If you keep on being so stupid my business will be ruined.

MICHO. Five--five.

BARSSEGH. I give you my word that I will give you the sack.

MICHO. Five--five.

BARSSEGH. Measure further.

MICHO. Five--[_aside_:]; Holy George, help me! [_Aloud_:] Six. I cannot stretch it any more or I shall tear it.

BARSSEGH. Measure, now.

MICHO. O dear; I believe it is already torn.

BARSSEGH [_looking at the cloth_]. I see nothing. God forbid!

MICHO [_looking at the measure_]. It is short a half werschok of seven arschin every time.

_The madman, Mosi, comes in at the middle door and stands in the background_.

SCENE II

_Mosi_.

BARSSEGH [_hitting Micho on the head_]. What are you good for? Can't you get that half werschok out of it?

MICHO [_howling_.] What am I to do when the cloth is too short?

BARSSEGH [_pulling his hair_]. Are you sure you're not lying?

MICHO [_yelling_.] How can you say that? Measure it yourself and we shall see whether there are seven arschin here.

BARSSEGH [_angry; taking measure and calico_]. You say there are not seven here? Wait, I will show you [_measuring._] One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and a quarter left over for a present to you. What do you say about it now? You must learn to measure if you burst doing it. But you think only of your week's pay. Now, hurry up; be lively there!

MICHO. O heaven! How shall I begin? One, two--

BARSSEGH. Be careful and don't tear it.

MICHO [_crying._] What do you want of me? If I pull on the stuff I tear it; and if I don't stretch it, no seven arschin will come out of it.

MOSI [_coming near_]. Ha! ha! ha! Who is the toper? Who? 'Tis I; the mad Mosi. Ha! ha! ha!

BARSSEGH [_aside._] How comes this crazy fellow here?

MOSI [_seizing the measure and calico_]. Give it to me, you booby! There are not only seven arschin here, but twenty-seven [_measuring quickly_]. One, two, four, six, eight, ten, twelve, and here are thirteen and fourteen. Do you want me to make still more out of it? You must shove the stick back in measuring. Can't you understand that? [_Throws the stick and calico upon Micho_.] Here, take it and be a man at last. You the shop-boy of such a great merchant and not find out a little thing like that. Haven't you learned yet how to steal half a werschok? Ha, ha, ha! [_Micho tries to free himself but becomes more entangled in the cloth_.

BARSSEGH [_to Mosi_], I forbid such impudent talk in my presence! Be silent, or I'll show you.

MOSI. That's the way with all mankind. They never appreciate good intentions. [_Pointing to Micho_.] I only wanted to make something of him. Go, go, my son, be a man! Learn from your master! You surely see how much money he has scraped together! [_To Barssegh_:] How is it about eating? It's time for dinner! Have the table set; I have come as a guest. What have you to-day? Coal-soup, perhaps, or water-soup? Yes, yes; you will entertain me finely! Ha, ha!

BARSSEGH [_aside_]. This confounded fellow is drunk again! [_To Micho_:] Get out of the room! [_Exit Micho middle door._

SCENE III

MOSI. From this stuff you can make a shroud for yourself. To-day or to-morrow you must die, that's sure.

BARSSEGH. You'd better be still!
[_Enter Khali at left_.

KHALI. Do you know the latest?

BARSSEGH. What has happened?

KHALI. What has happened? Marmarow was betrothed yesterday.

BARSSEGH. No!

KHALI. By heaven!

BARSSEGH. To whom?

KHALI. To the daughter of Ossep Gulabianz.

BARSSEGH. Is that really true?

KHALI. Do you think I am lying? They promised him 10,000 rubles dowry. I always said you should have saved something. Now you have it! They have snatched him away from you. And such a man, too! They puff themselves up entirely too much. Where did they get the money, I would like to know? [_Micho appears at the middle door_.

BARSSEGH. Run right off down to the Tapitach.[45] You know where Ossep Gulabianz's store is?

[45] A district of Tiflis.

MICHO. Gulabianz? The one who brought money to-day?

BARSSEGH. Yes, that one. Go and look for him wherever he is likely to be. Tell him he must bring the rest of the money at once. Now, run quickly. What else do I want to say? Oh, yes [_pointing to the calico_]; take that winding-sheet with you.

MOSI. Ha, ha, ha! Listen to him!

BARSSEGH. By heaven! What am I chattering about? I am crazed! [_Angrily, to Micho_:] What are you gaping at? Do you hear? Take this calico. Go to the store and tell Dartscho to come here. Lively, now! [_Exit Micho with goods_.

BARSSEGH [_going on_]. I would like to see how he is going to give 10,000 rubles dowry. I would like to know whose money it is?

KHALI. That stuck-up Salome has gotten my son-in-law away from me.

BARSSEGH. Never mind. I will soon put them into a hole.

MOSI. Oh, don't brag about things you can't perform. What has Ossep done to you that you want revenge? How can Ossep help it if your daughter is as dumb as straw and has a mouth three ells long? And what have Micho's ears to do with it? You should simply have given what the man asked.

BARSSEGH [_rising_]. O you wretch, you!

MOSI. Yes, you should certainly have paid it. Why didn't you? For whom are you saving? To-morrow or the day after you will have to die and leave it here.

BARSSEGH. Stop, or--

KHALI [_to Mosi_]. Why do you anger him? Haven't we trouble and anxiety enough?

MOSI. Well, I will be still. But I swear that this young man may call himself lucky that he has freed himself from you and closed with Ossep. Both of you together are not worth Ossep's finger-tips.

BARSSEGH. Leave me in peace or I will shake off all my anger on to you.

MOSI. What can you do to me? You cannot put my store under the hammer. What a man you are, indeed!

BARSSEGH. A better man than you any day.

MOSI. In what are you better?

BARSSEGH. In the first place, I am master of my five senses, and you are cracked.

MOSI [_laughs_]. Ha, ha, ha! If you were rational you would not have said that. Am I crazy because I show up your villanies? You are wise, you say? Perhaps you are as wise as Solomon!

BARSSEGH. I am wealthy.

MOSI. Take your money and--[_Whispers something in his ear._] You have stolen it here and there. You have swindled me out of something, too. Me and this one and that one, and so you became rich! You have provided yourself with a carriage, and go riding in it and make yourself important. Yes, that is the way with your money. Did your father Matus come riding to his store in a carriage, eh? You say you are rich? True, there is scarcely anyone richer than you; but if we reckon together all the money you have gained honorably, we shall see which of us two has most. [_Drawing his purse from his pocket and slapping it_.] See! I have earned all this by the sweat of my brow. Oh, no, like you I collected it for the church and put it in my own pocket. Are you going to fail again soon?

BARSSEGH. Heaven preserve me from it!

MOSI. It would not be the first time. When you are dead they will shake whole sacks full of money in your grave for you.

BARSSEGH. Will you never stop?

KHALI. Are you not ashamed to make such speeches?

MOSI. Till you die I will not let you rest. As long as you live I will gnaw at you like a worm, for you deserve it for your villany. What! Haven't you committed every crime? You robbed your brother of his inheritance; you cheated your partner; you have repudiated debts, and held others to false debts. Haven't you set your neighbors' stores on fire? If people knew everything they would hang you. But the world is stone-blind, and so you walk God's earth in peace. Good-by! I would like to go to Ossep and warn him against you; for if he falls into your clutches he is lost.

SCENE IV

BARSSEGH. Yes, yes; go and never come back.

KHALI. I wish water lay in front of him and a drawn sword behind.

BARSSEGH. This fellow is a veritable curse!

KHALI. Yes, he is, indeed.

BARSSEGH. The devil take him! If he is going to utter such slanders, I hope he will always do it here, and not do me harm with outsiders.

KHALI. You are to blame for it yourself. Why do you have anything to do with the good-for-nothing fellow?

BARSSEGH. There you go! Do I have anything to do with him? He is always at my heels, like my own shadow.

KHALI. Can't you forbid him to enter your doors?

BARSSEGH. So that he will not let me pass by in the streets? Do you want him to make me the talk of the town?

KHALI. Then don't speak to him any more.

BARSSEGH. As if I took pleasure in it! It is all the same to him whether one speaks to him or not.

KHALI. What are we to do with him, then?

BARSSEGH [_angrily_]. Why do you fasten yourself on to me like a gadfly? Have I not trouble enough already? [_Beating his hands together_.] How could you let him escape? You are good for nothing!

KHALI. What could I do, then, if you were stingy about the money? If you had promised the 10,000 rubles, you would have seen how easily and quickly everything would have been arranged.

BARSSEGH. If he insists upon so much he may go to the devil. For 10,000 rubles I will find a better man for my daughter.

KHALI. I know whom you mean. Give me the money and I will arrange the thing to-day.

BARSSEGH [_derisively_]. Give it! How easily you can say it! Is that a mulberry-tree, then, that one has only to shake and thousands will fall from it? Don't hold my rubles so cheaply; for every one of them I have sold my soul twenty times.

KHALI. If I can only get sight of that insolent Salome, I'll shake a cart-load of dirt over her head. Only let her meet me! [_Exit, left_.

SCENE V

BARSSEGH [_alone_]. And you shall see what I will do! Only wait, my dear Ossep! I am getting a day of joy ready for you and you will shed tears as thick as my thumb. I have been looking for the chance a long time, and now fate has delivered you into my hands. You braggart, you shall see how you will lie at my feet. I am the son of the cobbler Matus. There are certain simpletons who shake their heads over those who had nothing and suddenly amount to something. But I tell you that this world is nothing more than a great honey-cask. He who carries away the best part for himself, without letting the others come near it, he is the man to whom praise and honor are due. But a man who stands aside, like Ossep, and waits till his turn comes is an ass.

_Enter Dartscho_.

BARSSEGH. Ah, Dartscho! How quickly you have come!

DARTSCHO. I met Micho just now, and he told me that you had sent for me.

BARSSEGH. I have something important to speak with you about. [_He sits down_.] Where were you just now?

DARTSCHO. At George's, the coal man. He owed us some money, and I have been to see him seven times this week on that account.

BARSSEGH. He is very unpunctual. But how does it stand? Has he paid?

DARTSCHO. Of course! What do you take me for? I stayed in the store as if nailed there, and when a new customer came in I repeated my demand. There was nothing left for him to do but to pay me, for shame's sake.

BARSSEGH. That pleases me in you, my son. Go on like that and you will get on in the world. Look at me! There was a time when they beat me over the head and called me by my given name. Then they called me Barssegh, and finally "Mr." Barssegh. When I was as old as you are I was nothing, and now I am a man who stands for something. If my father, Matus, were still alive he would be proud of me. I tell you all this so that you will spare no pains to make yourself a master and make people forget that you are the son of a driver. A son can raise up the name of his father; he can also drag it down into the dust.

DARTSCHO. You see best of all what trouble I take, Mr. Barssegh. When I open the store in the morning, I never wait until Micho comes, but I take the broom in my hand and sweep out the store. And how I behave with the customers, you yourself see.

BARSSEGH. Yes, I see it; I see it, my son, and it is on that account I am so good to you. Only wait till next year and you shall be my partner. I will supply the money and you the labor.

DARTSCHO. May God give you a long life for that! I seem to myself like a tree which you have planted. I hope I will still bear fruit and you will have your joy in me. Do you know that I have gotten rid of those damaged goods?

BARSSEGH. Is it possible?

DARTSCHO. It's a fact.

BARSSEGH. To whom have you sold them?

DARTSCHO. To a man from Signach. I laid two good pieces on top so that he did not notice it. Let him groan now.

BARSSEGH. And how? On credit?

DARTSCHO. Am I then crazy? Have I ever sold damaged goods on credit, that you make such a supposition? Of course I took something off for it, but made believe I only did it to please him. He paid me the full sum at once; and if he is now boasting how cheap he bought the goods, I hope he will sing my praises also.

BARSSEGH. Do you know, dear Dartscho, you are a fine fellow? Yes, I have always said that you would amount to something.

DARTSCHO. God grant it! What commands have you, Mr. Barssegh? There is no one in the store.

BARSSEGH. Oh, right! I had almost forgotten. If Ossep Gulabianz comes to borrow money, give him nothing.

DARTSCHO. What has happened?

BARSSEGH. I am terribly angry at him.

DARTSCHO. And I have even more reason to be angry at him; he is altogether too stuck-up. But what has occurred?

BARSSEGH. I will show him now who I am. His whole business is just like a hayrick; a match is enough to set the whole thing ablaze.

DARTSCHO. I would not be sorry for ten matches! Tell me what I can do about it? The rest I know already.

BARSSEGH. Think of it! The fellow has snatched away a fine fat morsel from my very mouth. I had found an excellent husband for my daughter. For a whole week we carried on negotiations with him and everything was near final settlement when this Ossep came in and bid over us. On the very same day he betrothed his daughter to the man.

DARTSCHO. The devil take him for it!

BARSSEGH. And do you know, also, whose money he is going to use? It is my money he is going to give him.

DARTSCHO. That is just it! That is it!

BARSSEGH. Things look bad for his pocket. Now he is going to marry off his daughter and put himself in a tight place. Go, therefore, and get out an execution against him; otherwise nothing can be squeezed out of him.

DARTSCHO. We shall see. I will go at once and demand our money.

BARSSEGH. I have already sent Micho, but I hardly believe he will give it up so easily. On that account I sent for you to find out someone who can help us.

DARTSCHO. I know a lawyer who can manage so that in three hours they will put an attachment on his store.

BARSSEGH. Go on so forever, dear Dartscho! Yes, I have long known that you were going to be the right sort of fellow!

DARTSCHO. The apprentice of a right good master always gets on in the world.

BARSSEGH. Go quickly then; lose no time.

DARTSCHO. I will not waste an hour.

BARSSEGH. Go! May you succeed!
[_Exit Dartscho, middle door_.

BARSSEGH [_alone_]. Yes, yes, friend Ossep, now show what you can do! I would burn ten candles to have you in my power. [_Exit, right, taking the account book_.

SCENE VI

_Khali. Salome_.

KHALI [_entering from the left_]. Such a bold creature I never saw before in my life! [_Calling through the window_:] Come in! come in! I pray! Do you hear, Salome? I am calling you. Come in here a moment [_coming back from the window_]. She is coming. Wait, you insolent thing! I will give you a setting-out such as no one has ever given you before!

SALOME [_dressed in the latest fashion, with a parasol in her hand; enters at middle door_]. Why did you call me? Good-morning! How are you? [_They shake hands_.

KHALI. Thank you. Pray sit down. [_They both sit down_.] So you have betrothed your daughter?

SALOME. Yes, dear Khali. God grant that we soon hear of your Nino's like good-fortune! I betrothed her last evening. I found a good husband for her. He is as handsome as a god. I can scarcely stand for joy!

KHALI. Yes, make yourself important about it!

SALOME [_offended_]. What is this? What does it mean?

KHALI. You owed us a favor, and you have done it for us.

SALOME. What have I done to you?

KHALI. You could not do more, indeed. You have cheated me out of a son-in-law. Is not that enough?

SALOME. But, my dear Khali, what kind of things are you saying to me? What do you mean by it?

KHALI. Be still! be still! I know well enough how it was.

SALOME. May I go blind if I know what you are talking about!

KHALI. Didn't you know very well that I wished to give my daughter to him?

SALOME. I don't understand you! You said no earthly word to me about it.

KHALI. Even if I have not said anything about it, someone has certainly told you of it.

SALOME. No one has said a word about it.

KHALI. She lies about it, beside! Isn't that shameful?

SALOME. Satan lies. What are you accusing me of?

KHALI. And you really did not know that I wished to give him my daughter?

SALOME. And if I had known it? When a man wants to marry, they always speak of ten, and yet he marries only one.

KHALI. So you knew it very well? Why did you lie, then?

SALOME. You are out of your head! How was I to find it out? Did you send word by anyone that you were going to give your daughter to the man? In what way am I to blame for it? You knew as much as I did. You treated with him just as I did and sent marriage brokers to him.

KHALI. I approached him first.

SALOME. O my dear, the flowers in the meadow belong not to those who see them first, but to those who pluck them.

KHALI. You did not wait. Perhaps I would have plucked them.

SALOME. And why didn't you pluck them?

KHALI. You wouldn't let me. Do you think I do not know that you promised him more than we did?

SALOME. May I go blind! Khali, how can you say that? How much did you promise him?

KHALI. How much did we promise him? Ha! ha! as though you did not know it! Eight thousand rubles.

SALOME. Then you promised more than we did, for we can give him only 7,000.

KHALI. You surely do not think me so stupid as to believe that!

SALOME. As sure as I wish my Nato all good fortune, what I say is true.

KHALI. And you think that I believe you?

SALOME. What? What do you say? Would I swear falsely about my daughter?

KHALI. Of course it is so! Would he let my 8,000 go to take your 7,000?

SALOME. I am not to blame for that. Probably your daughter did not please him, since he did not want her.

KHALI. What fault have you to find with my daughter? As though yours were prettier, you insolent woman, you!

SALOME [_standing up_]. You are insolent! Is it for this you called me in? Can your daughter be compared to my Nato? Is it my fault that your daughter has a wide mouth?

KHALI. You have a wide mouth yourself; and your forward daughter is not a bit prettier than mine!

SALOME. What! you say she is forward? Everyone knows her as a modest and well-behaved girl, while everybody calls yours stupid. Yes, that is true; and if you want to know the truth, I can tell it to you--it is just on that account that he would not have her.

KHALI. Oh, you witch, you! You have caught the poor young man in your nets and deceived him. I would like to know where you are going to get the 7,000 rubles.

SALOME. That is our affair. I would rather have broken my leg than to have come in here.

KHALI. He is up to the ears in debt and is going to give such a dowry!

SALOME [_coming back_]. Even if we are in debt, we have robbed nobody, as you have.

KHALI [_springing up_]. 'Tis you who steal; you! You are a thief! Look out for yourself that I do not tear the veil off your head, you wicked witch, you!

SALOME [_holding her veil toward her_]. Try it once. I would like to see how you begin it. You have altogether too long a tongue, and are only the daughter-in-law of the cobbler Matus.

KHALI. And what better are you? You are a gardener's daughter, you insolent thing!

SALOME. You are insolent, yourself! Do not think so much of yourself--everyone knows that you have robbed the whole world, and only in that way have gotten up in the world.

KHALI. Oh, you good-for-nothing!
[_Throws herself on Salome and tears her veil off_.

SALOME. Oh! oh! [_Gets hold of Khali's hair_.

KHALI. Oh! oh!

SALOME. I'll pull all your hair out!
[_Astonished, she holds a lock in her hand_.

_Enter Ossep_.

OSSEP. What do I see?

KHALI [_tearing the lock from Salome's hand_]. May I be blind!
[_Exit embarrassed_.

SALOME [_arranging her veil_]. Oh, you monkey, you!

OSSEP. What is the meaning of this?

SALOME. God only knows how it came to this. I was walking quietly in the street and she called me in and tore the veil from my head because I, as she said, took her daughter's suitor away from her.

OSSEP. It serves you right! That comes from your having secrets from me and promising him 7,000 rubles instead of 6,000.

SALOME. I would rather have broken a leg than come into this horrid house. I did it only out of politeness. I wish these people might lose everything they have got [_pinning her veil_]. At any rate, I punished her for it by pulling off her false hair. If she tells on herself now, she may also tell about me. She got out of the room quickly, so that no one would find out that her hair was as false as everything else.

OSSEP. It would be best for us if the earth opened and swallowed us up.

SALOME [_crying_]. Am I, then, so much to blame here?

OSSEP. Really, you look splendid! Go! go! that no one sees you here. It is not the first time that you have put me in a dilemma. Go! and pray God to change noon into midnight and make the streets dark, so that no one sees that you have a torn veil on your head.

SALOME [_wiping away her tears_]. God only knows everything I have to suffer from you!

OSSEP [_alone_]. Great heaven! how this world is arranged! When one trouble comes to a man a second comes along, too, and waits at his door. When I am just about ready to cope with the first, in comes the second and caps the climax. I don't know which way to turn with all my debts; and now this women's quarrel will be laid at my door.

SCENE VII

BARSSEGH [_coming in, angry_]. I will show him that I am a man!

OSSEP. Good-morning!

BARSSEGH. I want neither "good-morning" nor any other wish from you. You have, I suppose, come to help your wife. Give me a blow, too, so the measure will be full. This is surely the interest on the money you owe me.

OSSEP. Calm yourself. What, indeed, do you want?

BARSSEGH. Do you, then, believe that I will overlook my wife's hair being pulled out? That I will not pardon.

OSSEP. What is there to pardon? Your wife tore my wife's veil from her head.

BARSSEGH. A veil is not hair.

OSSEP. For heaven's sake, stop! Is a women's spat our affair?

BARSSEGH. Say what you wish, but I will do what pleases me.

OSSEP. Calm yourself; calm yourself.

BARSSEGH. Yes, yes; I will calm you, too.

OSSEP. Believe me; it is unworthy of you.

BARSSEGH. She has torn her veil, he says. What is a veil, then? A thing that one can buy, and at most costs two rubles.

OSSEP. The hair was also not her own. Why do you worry yourself about it? For a two-ruble veil she tore a two-kopeck band. The band is there, and she can fasten the hair on again.

BARSSEGH. No, you can't get out of it that way. I will not pardon her for this insolence.

OSSEP [_aside_]. Great heaven!

BARSSEGH. You'll see! you'll see!

OSSEP. Do what you will! I did not come to you on that account. You sent for me by Micho?

BARSSEGH. Yes, you are right. Have you brought me my money? Give it to me, quick!

OSSEP. How you speak to me! Am I your servant, that you speak so roughly? You surely do not know whom you have before you. Look out, for if I go for you, you will sing another tune.

BARSSEGH. That has not happened to me yet! He owes me money, and even here he makes himself important!

OSSEP. Do you think because I owe you money I shall stand your insults? I speak politely to you, and I demand the same from you.

BARSSEGH. Enough of that! Tell me whether you have brought the money or not.

OSSEP. Have I ever kept back from you any of your money? Why should I do it to-day?

BARSSEGH. Then give it to me now.

OSSEP. You said at that time--

BARSSEGH. I know nothing of that time.

OSSEP. What is the matter with you? You speak as if in a dream.

BARSSEGH. Whether I speak as in a dream or not, give me the money, and have done with it.

OSSEP [_takes a chair and sits down_]. You are mistaken, my dear Mr. Barssegh; you are mistaken. Sit down, pray.

BARSSEGH [_ironically_]. Thank you very much.

OSSEP. You will surely not take back your word?

BARSSEGH. Hand over the money.

OSSEP. What has happened to you? You speak like a madman.

BARSSEGH. It is all the same to me however I speak.

OSSEP. When I gave you the 5,000 rubles that time, did not you say that I was to pay the rest in a month?

BARSSEGH [_sitting down_]. And if I did say so, what does it amount to? I need it now.

OSSEP. You should have said so at the time and I would not have paid out my money in other ways. How comes it that you demand it so suddenly? I am no wizard, I am sure, to procure it from the stars for you.

BARSSEGH. You may get it wherever you want to. I need it, and that settles it.

OSSEP. Just heaven! Why did you give me a month's grace and reckon on an additional twelve per cent. for it?

BARSSEGH. What kind of grace? Have you anything to show for it?

OSSEP. Isn't your word enough? Why do we need a paper in addition?

BARSSEGH. I didn't give you my word.

OSSEP. What? You did not give it? You admitted it just a few minutes ago.

BARSSEGH. No, I said nothing about it.

OSSEP [_standing_]. My God! what do I see and hear? You are a merchant and tread your word under foot. Shame on you! [_Takes him by the arm and leads him to the mirror_.] Look! look at your face! Why do you turn pale?

BARSSEGH. Let me go!

OSSEP [_holding him fast by the sleeve_]. How can you be so unscrupulous? Look! How pale your lips are!

BARSSEGH. Let me go! [_Freeing himself_.] You act exactly as though you were the creditor.

OSSEP. No, you are the creditor. I would rather be swallowed up alive by the earth than be such a creditor as you are. What do you think you will be in my eyes after this?

BARSSEGH. I tell you, hand out my money or I will lay your note before the court immediately! I would only like to know where you are going to get the dowry for your daughter. You will pay over my money to your son-in-law, will you, and give me the go-by?

OSSEP. Give yourself no trouble! Even if you should beg me now, I would not keep your money. To-morrow at this time you shall have it, and then may the faces turn black of those who still look at you.

BARSSEGH. I want it at once.

OSSEP. Then come with me. You shall have it. The sooner a man is rid of a bad thing, the better it is. Give me the note! No, don't give it to me, for you don't trust me. You are not worthy of trusting me. Take it yourself and come with me. We will go at once to the bazaar, sell it, then you can have your money. I may lose something by it. It makes no difference. It is easier to bear this misfortune than to talk to you. Do you hear? Shall we go?

BARSSEGH. What do you mean?

OSSEP. Get the note, I tell you! Don't you hear?

BARSSEGH. What kind of a note?

OSSEP. Rostom's note.

BARSSEGH. Rostom's' note? What is this note to you?

OSSEP. What is it to me? It is no word, indeed, that you can deny. It is a document.

BARSSEGH. What is it to you that I have this document in my hands? That is mine and Rostom's business.

OSSEP. Yours and Rostom's business! [_Pauses_.] It is, I see, not yet enough that you lie. You are a thief and a robber beside. What people say of you is really true; namely, that you have robbed everybody, and by this means have acquired your wealth. Yes, it is true that you have ruined twenty-five families; that you have put out their candle and lighted yours by it. Now I see, for the first time, that everything that people say about you is true. Now I believe, indeed, that these chairs, this sofa, this mirror, your coat, your cane--in a word, every article that you call yours--represents some person you have robbed. Take my bones and add to them. Make the measure full. You have made your conscience a stone and will hear nothing; but I tell you, one day it will awake, and every object that lies or stands here will begin to speak and hold up to you your villanies. Then you can go and justify yourself before your Maker. Shame upon him who still calls you a human being! [_Exit by the middle door_.

BARSSEGH. Ha! ha! ha! [_Exit at the right_.

CURTAIN.

ACT THIRD

SCENE I--OSSEP'S HOUSE

NATO [_stands before the mirror elegantly dressed, and, while she prinks, hums a European melody. Then she draws out of her pocket a little photograph and speaks to herself while looking in the mirror_]. O my treasure! my treasure! [_Presses the photo to her breast and kisses it._] _Mon chèr!_ Come; we will dance. [_Dances around the table_.] Tra-la-la, Tra-la-la. [_Sits down at the right_.] Alexander; my Alexander; dear Alexander! Yes, you are really an angel. Why are you so handsome? You have black eyes and I also have black. Then arched eyebrows just like me. [_Touches her eyebrows_.] A pretty little mustache, which I lack. Which of us is more beautiful, I or you? You are handsomest; no, I am handsomest [_springing up_]. We will see at once.

[_Looks at herself in the mirror and then at the photograph. Enter Alexander at the middle door_.

NATO [_without noticing Alexander_]. No, you are the more beautiful!
[_Kisses the photograph_.

[_Alexander approaches softly and kisses Nato_.

NATO [_frightened_]. Oh!

ALEXANDER. No, you are the more beautiful, Natalie, dear. _Ma chère Nathalie!_

NATO. _O mon chèr Alexandre!_ How you frightened me!

ALEXANDER [_putting his arm around her_]. Let me kiss you again, and your fright will pass away. [_Kisses her_.] Give me a kiss just once!

NATO [_kissing him_]. There, you have one.

ALEXANDER. Well, I ought to allow you to kiss me. Am I not worth more
than that piece of paper?
[_Takes her by the hand; they sit down on sofa at the
right_.

NATO. They have come to congratulate us.

ALEXANDER. Yes, your grandmother, your aunts, and your cousins. Nato, shall you give evening parties like this?

NATO [_smiling_]. Ha! ha! ha! No such _soirées_ as this, my dear Alexander. Two evenings every month we will give little dances, either on Tuesdays or Thursdays. Which is better? Do you not think, Alexander, that Thursday will be best?

ALEXANDER [_with a grimace_]. As you wish, _chère Nathalie_. If you like, you can give a _soirée_ every week.

NATO. No, twice a month is better. Sophie, who is now Madame Jarinskaja, gives only two _soirées_ in a month.

ALEXANDER. Very well, Nato dear.

NATO. That is agreed, then. And every Thursday we will dance at the Casino. [_Alexander makes another grimace_.] Mind, now! every Thursday.

ALEXANDER. Do you like to visit the Casino?

NATO [_laying her hand on his shoulder_]. Who doesn't like to visit it? Is there another place where one can amuse one's self better? The beautiful long _salon_! the _boudoir_! the beautiful music and the rich costumes! How beautiful they all are! [_Embracing Alexander_.] We will dance together, and when we are tired, we will go into the mirror-room and rest ourselves and talk and laugh.

ALEXANDER. And then we will dance again and rest ourselves, and talk and laugh again.

NATO. It will be splendid! [_Kisses him_.] I will dress beautifully _à la mode_, so that everyone will say, "Look! look! what a charming woman Madame Marmarow is!" And then, dear Alexander, we will subscribe for a box at the theatre for Fridays.

ALEXANDER [_making another grimace aside_]. She's piling it on.

NATO. And do you know where? In the upper tier at the left, near the foyer.

ALEXANDER. Wouldn't it be better to subscribe for two evenings a week?

NATO. Wouldn't it cost too much?

ALEXANDER. What has that to do with it? Do you think I could deny you any pleasure? No! no! you shall have everything.

NATO [_embracing him_]. _Chèr Alexandre_! do you really love me so much?

ALEXANDER. I cannot tell you at all how much I love you. Right at our first meeting I fell in love with you!

NATO. I don't believe it! I don't believe it! All young men talk so!

ALEXANDER. Ha! ha! ha! Do you think I am like them? With them the tongues have nothing to do with the heart; but my tongue speaks what is here! [_Strikes himself on the breast_.

NATO [_ironically_]. I know! I know! If I had no dowry you would not marry me.

ALEXANDER. Nato dear, you wrong me! _ma chère_! As if the dowry made any difference! _Fi donc_!

NATO. Then you really love me so much?

ALEXANDER. Very, very much, Nato dear. You can put me to the test if you will.

NATO. Do you know, my piano is not fit to use!

ALEXANDER [_smoothing his hair_--_aside_]. Something new again.

NATO. Buy me a new piano. To-day I saw one at a store; it cost 500 rubles.

ALEXANDER. Five hundred rubles! You cannot buy a decent piano for that!

NATO. Dear Alexander!

ALEXANDER. Be patient awhile, Nato dear. One of my friends brought a piano from abroad that cost 1,000; yes, even 1,500 rubles.

NATO. My sweetheart; my dear sweetheart! [_Kissing him_.] I will come right back. [_Rises_.] I must go and prepare for our reception or mamma will be angry. Tra-la-la. [_Exit at left_.

ALEXANDER [_alone, springing up_]. Ha! ha! ha! _soirées_, balls at the club, box at the theatre, dresses and ornaments after the latest fashion! Am I a millionaire? I would have nothing against it if I had the money to do it. She acts as though she was going to bring 50,000 rubles dowry into the house. No, Natalie, that will all come later. In ten or twenty years, perhaps, I will set up a carriage; but it is not even to be thought of now. Indeed, I don't know, where it will lead to if she makes such demands on me every day. It will lead to quarrels and unpleasantness, and it will be all up with my economizing. No, indeed, Natalie, it will be no easy thing to satisfy you. Why did I not think of this sooner? Let her talk, and demand what she will. I will do what pleases me.

NATO [_enter right; speaks to someone behind the scenes_]. I will come at once. I am coming. Come, Alexander, let us go into the garden. Mamma must go upstairs, and the guests will be all alone in the garden.

ALEXANDER. I am waiting for your father, Nato dear, I have something important to discuss with him.

NATO. Why, we will soon return, and by that time father will be home. Do you want to sit here alone?

ALEXANDER. Well, we will go.

NATO. Come! come! I want to introduce you to my coquettish aunt.
[_Mimics her while making a courtesy, and makes
faces. Alexander, shaking his head, goes out with
Nato noisily through middle door_.

SCENE II

_Salome. Chacho_.

CHACHO. No, indeed, Salome. She behaves too boldly. You must give her a warning. Such self-confidence I have I never before seen in a girl.

SALOME. That is all a matter of fashion! What is to be done?
[_Shuffling the cards_.

CHACHO [_seating herself_]. When one thinks how the times have changed, one grows dizzy! When I was engaged, my love, I dared not open my mouth; it was as if they had put a lock on it. Indeed, I dared not look anyone in the face, even, and kept my eyes always cast down, as if glued fast to the floor.

SALOME. How could anyone endure all that? The eyes are made to look with, I hope, and the tongue to speak! I wouldn't have borne it. It is well that those times are past. I should die of such a life.

CHACHO. Oh, your present times are the true ones! Isn't this shameful, now, what goes on here? All the money that the husband can make in a week, the wife loses at play in a single evening. Is that widow, the stout one, going to play with you? She is surely more than fifty years old.

SALOME. Of course! we wouldn't play at all without her.

CHACHO. That is the best of all. Why, she has a married daughter as old as you are!

SALOME. What of that? Whoever has money can always play. But what do you say to the wife of blind Gigoli? She hasn't enough to eat, but gives herself airs before us just the same.

CHACHO. Don't talk to me about her! A few weeks ago she pawned a silver pitcher to one of our neighbors for five rubles without her husband's knowledge. God punished her for it, for that same evening she lost it all at cards. I should like to know how she is going to redeem the pitcher.

SALOME [_arranging her dress before the mirror_]. Yes, yes; no one can take her measure better than I. [_Enter Ossep_.

OSSEP [_angrily_]. And what have you gotten ready for again?

SALOME. What was to be done? Look and see how many guests there are in the garden!

OSSEP. It was very wrong of them to come here. Has no one invited them, then? They should have asked me first.

SALOME. You are a singular being! We have betrothed our daughter and they were obliged to come and congratulate us.

OSSEP. Congratulate! As though my joy went to their hearts! On the contrary, they would enjoy it if I had a misfortune; they could put their heads together and criticise and laugh at me.

CHACHO. What are you so ill-humored about? For the last two days you have been intolerable.

OSSEP. If I could unbosom myself to you and show you my heart, you would comprehend what the cause of it is.

CHACHO. God protect you from all evil!

OSSEP. Am I not right? Tell me yourself! This is not the time for card-playing. Why have they come, then? If they wished to congratulate us, they could come separately. How does it happen that they all thought of us at once? Perhaps each has sent word to the other that Salome has betrothed her daughter and they have all taken advantage of the opportunity to come. Of course only for the sake of those damned cards! This one or that one has probably been invited by her [_pointing to Salome_]. She sent word to them, "Come to us, I pray! X and Z are already here." [_To Salome_:] Say, isn't that so?

SALOME. What nonsense he talks! Ought they not to know at your uncle's house that we have betrothed our daughter? I was obliged to give them some information about it, was I not?