Chapter X: Part 10

As I have grown older I am more and more convinced that I have not grown up, that my powers have not come to me, not my real wisdom to do and achieve the right thoughts. I lack some dear grace. I cannot seem to steady down and get the single eye. There is a curriculum in living which I have not studied. This may be happiness. I want to know it; I should feel better prepared for immortality. I do not wish to arrive fagged at last and a bit slipshod in the spirit, as if I had a hard time all my mortal life. It is not complimentary to God. I wish to come up before His face in a high mood as if I had tasted all His benefits. I wish to be clothed in the bright garments of my human happiness, more colorful than the glistening white robes of the merely redeemed.

I have an intimate feeling of God that this is a bright idea, and that at least it is permitted one may seek happiness even if at last he must sink into the defeat of mere peace.

THE END

Transcriber’s Notes

Italics have been represented by _underlines_. Small caps have been represented by CAPITALS.

A few inconsistencies in hyphenation have been reconciled, and minor printing errors in punctuation have been silently corrected.