Chapter V (3)

This discovery and turn of affairs sensibly interfered with the rejoicings of Klaus; and no wonder! For whilst he was still warm with the idea of bringing his bride home to a well-stocked property, he had to learn that he was actually as poor as a church-mouse. What could he do? He was not long in forming a resolution. House and farm, field and coppice, were in pretty good condition; no mortgages, as far as he knew, cumbered the estate. Surely, till better times came, there would be no difficulty in borrowing? At all events, the effort should be made. Klaus went to Zittau to beg the loan of a thousand dollars from the trustees of pious legacies. He stammered out his request to the board with as much confidence as he could command; but whether his awkward way and manner, or his unsteady look, or the wealth which it was supposed he possessed, or the nickname which he bore--whether one or all of these gave rise to suspicion and alarm, it is very certain that although friend Nicholas received fine words enough to tear his pocket open, not one farthing of money did he catch, but was fain to return home as rich as he had come.

This was a heavy blow to the young farmer. As usual with him in seasons of trouble, he thought of the Dwarf, and cursed him. Then he prayed for a sight of the monster, only till he had wreaked his vengeance on him; and then he went like a drunken man homeward. To his intense vexation, as often as he relieved himself of an execration, his ear was assailed with a scornful peal of laughter. It escorted him to his very door, and there left him mad with rage, because he could by no means perceive whence the mockery proceeded. Once at home again, he repeated the rummaging of rooms, cellars, and corners, in the still unextinguished hope of finding something, were it only paper bonds, of which he had known his father, at one time, to possess several. His search availed him nothing--the chests were empty--there was not an atom of money left. As if this were not misery enough, he perceived, with inexpressible grief, that the rafters of the house, the wainscoting of the rooms, were beginning to totter and crack so fearful, that it would be impossible to reside much longer beneath them. And oh, sorrow upon sorrow! those unpleasant gentlemen, the lawyers, were daily asking payment, and threatening an execution. Klaus grew very wretched. Breathing time, at all events, was necessary, and so he sold the tavern and a considerable portion of his land. With part of the proceeds he appeased the blood-suckers; and with what remained, he purposed repairing his cracked and rickety tenement.

Accustomed from his youth upwards to go to work with a full pocket, the thrifty way of life to which he was obliged to conform, was any thing but pleasant to him; but worse than all, and more difficult to support, were the evidences of disrespect which poor Nicholas observed in the conduct of the neighbouring farmers--and which every day became more palpable. Before his poverty was known, as the son of his father, he had been treated with some regard--and if folks did call him _Lying Klaus_, it was more by way of joke than to give him pain. Now, however, the neglect of him was bare-faced; and the meanest of the village learnt to make their ill-natured remarks, and to fling his nickname over meadow and field after him as he went. He was welcome nowhere--deserted and forsaken on every side. Even in his work, he was the most unfortunate of labourers. Ill-luck ever attended it. If he ploughed, either the ploughshare would go to pieces, or the furrows would turn over so often, that he could not stir. If he sowed in the serenest weather, when not a breath of air was moving, a whirlwind would arise as soon as he had begun, carrying the grain to some one distant spot, and rendering it there perfectly useless. Sometimes he would find that he held a handful of mere husks, and then if, in the bitterness of his soul, he began to curse and tear his hair--he would all at once espy in those very husks-- eyes that fleered at him, whilst a horrible laughter echoed from every side.

These were Klaus's out o' doors troubles. Those within were still worse. His sound, strong horses perished one after another--till at last he had nothing left in his stables but one old gaunt mare called _Blässel_. A distemper broke out amongst his horned stock, and before a month passed, destroyed every thing in his stalls, with the exception of an old goat and a gormandizing and insatiable porker.

A much more sedate man than Klaus would have been ready to jump out of his skin in the midst of so much disaster. Once more he had recourse to a sale. With a heavy heart he put up his inheritance, and with inexpressible dismay he received the first buyers. Upon their close inspection of house and farm, it soon became too apparent that the whole of the woodwork was thoroughly worm-eaten, and, in the ground-floor, destructive fungus hard at work. Those who came inclined to buy, shook their heads and wished him good-morning: and in less than four-and-twenty hours after their departure, every soul in the parish knew that Lying Klaus was as good as a bankrupt; that his house was already tumbling about his ears; and that he himself would be forced to go from house to house, and practise the art of lattice-tapping.[1]

[1] The more ancient village houses have still, for the most part, before the house door, a kind of _lattice_, upon which the beggar taps, by way of announcing himself to the dwellers.

"Rumour in this case proved a true prophet. The end of the summer found Klaus's homestead all to pieces. The wind whistled through the broken windows. Rats frolicked about the floor: a lease of the rafters was taken by a society of martens, and Klaus was left the choice of making friends with the vermin, or being dislodged from his miserable den altogether.

"When a poor man suddenly becomes rich, there is no lack of good words thrown away; but when a rich man suddenly comes to beggary, all that is said is--that he is a deplorable wretch--that everybody expected it--and that it serves him right. Klaus led a horrid life. He was shunned by universal consent. The youngest urchins of the parish threw dirt at him, made faces, called him Lying Klaus, and trotted after him, imitating the gait and gestures of an ill-conditioned dwarf. If Klaus entered the tavern--so lately his own property--the boors shrunk from him as though he were a leper--the landlord lazily shoved a dirty glass before him, and looked at the piece of money which he got in exchange, a dozen times before he put it into his till. The most abandoned criminal, who had undergone his ten years of imprisonment and hard labour, could not have been treated more ignominiously. Had Klaus not lived on in a sort of mental intoxication, he must have committed murder or manslaughter, if, in his desperation, he had not even laid unholy hands upon himself.

"All help cut away, every means of support dried up, and the beggar denied even the bread of charity, Klaus at length resolved upon abandoning his birthplace, and seeking his fortune in the open world. He had all along carried on his stick trade without being able to earn even salt to his porridge. A small piece of copse-wood, of little value, for which he had been unable to find a purchaser, he could yet call his own--the lean and bony Blässel was also spared him. With sticks and steed, therefore, he quitted his native place, and began to take his rounds abroad, scarcely hoping to gather what was denied him amongst his own people--a scanty pittance. It was little that poor Nicholas got to break and bite upon his road; he made amends for the deficiency by consulting the brandy flask, from which the deserted one sucked his temporary solace. With the hot liquor in his head, he could whistle and sing, forget his misery, and boldly face mankind.

"Late one evening, Klaus returned from a distant business tour. Blässel had not a leg to stand upon, Klaus himself had eaten nothing the whole day, and he was besides parched with thirst. To satisfy the cravings of nature, he stepped, unwillingly enough, into _The Sun_ at _Herwigsdorf_. The parlour was full of boors, one of whom, in a gruff voice, read aloud the Weekly Intelligencer, whilst the rest remarked upon its contents. Klaus edged himself into a corner to avoid observation, and mine host brought him, for his two or three pence, a very melancholy supper. The reading came at length to a close, and the stage then became alive. The farmers discussed and argued the news that had been delivered to them, until they grew very warm, and had exhausted all their eloquence, when they commenced knocking the table with their doubled fists, for want of better arguments. In the height of the dispute, a neighbouring miller--a very learned gentleman--entered the apartment. He was at once unanimously appealed to for a decision, and then nobody would abide by his verdict. A general tumult ensued; in the midst of it, unlucky Klaus was detected, and then politics and the welfare of mankind were immediately lost sight of.

"'Devil take me!' cried one, advancing towards the wretched man, 'If there doesn't sit Lying Klaus from _Starving Castle_!'

"Klaus was surrounded in an instant. The whole assembly hooted him, and he for shame and rage would gladly have buried himself for ever in the earth.

"Well, I will say," continued the unfeeling boor, "the rich Klaus has become the very careful and thrifty. I wonder if the churchwarden means to give him the bell-purse money for ever!"[1] Well, Liar, how gets on the stick trade? Will you soon be able to patch your coat out of your earnings? If you happen now to have a sixpence more than you want, I think we may do a little business together. I have some four-year-old straw that will come in well for your palace. It is eaten away a little by the mice, but that doesn't matter. Why, what are you thinking of, you nincompoop? Don't you know when Klaus wants straw, or money, or an honest name, he has only to go to his couch-grassed stubble-fields, and sneeze three times into the Dwarf's wall, and then he gets directly what he asks for? Who wouldn't have a Dwarf for his godfather! a fellow just three cheeses high, and a fiddle-scrapper A pretty scrape he has made of it for you--only scraped your precious soul into hell, as he would have done if Holy Peter had bound it three times round his key-bit. It is a great pity though, that Dwarf-piper don't fiddle money into his darling's pocket, as well as out of it. Kick the blackguard out, pull his ears for him--I say he isn't honest. He can't be, for he has dealings with the devil!'

[1] The churchwardens go about the church during the service, and collect alms from the congregation _in a purse with a bell_.--TRANSLATOR.

"Many sinewy arms were stretched out at the moment to grasp the weak defenceless man, who sat gnashing his teeth, and awaiting the assault, whilst in his heart he cursed himself and all the world besides. The miller called upon the company to desist, and they retreated a stop or two, whilst he stepped forth, and placed himself at the side of the unprotected wanderer.

"'Come, come!' said the unexpected friend, 'this isn't fair. Klaus is a very worthy fellow, though things are going against him, because, as I believe, his old father bore too hard upon that imp Stringstriker. If Klaus were only a clever fellow, and knew how to say a private word or so to his godfather, he would soon make it all right with him again. Dwarfs must be managed. Bless you, I have one in my own mill. Every ninth night he hammers away on the twenty-first cog of the third wheel; and as soon as he begins, three honey cells must be put upon the millstone for him, if I don't wish the mill to stand still immediately, and all the grain to breed worms. It is nothing but Dwarf's roguery, and so I say let Klaus go quietly his way. I'll wager what you like, if the fellow asks the Dwarf's pardon, and makes it up with him, he'll be as rich as ever again. For you see, masters, Dwarfs must sometimes play all sorts of pranks with poor mortals, that they may so have occasion to help them at a future time, and secure for themselves a place in Heaven at last.'

"This learned address so dumbfoundered the peasants, that they retreated by degrees further and further from their intended victim, who, like a shrewd fellow, seized his opportunity, and made his escape. He was not long in harnessing his hack, mounting his cart, and driving from the inhospitable spot. The words of the miller had made a deep impression on his mind. The wish to hold communion by any means with the world of spirits, which had been closed upon him from the moment that he had hurled his curse against one of them--grew strong and lively within him. His miserable condition subdued him into sorrow and repentance, and, in a loud and earnest voice, he implored his godfather to take pity upon him, to forgive him, and to show him the means by which he might be reconciled again to _him_, and made worthy of the regard and consideration of his people.

"He had reached _Hörnitz_ when his stricken heart indulged itself in such outpourings. _Breiteberg_ arose at a short distance before him, with the few acres of land that still belonged to him lying waste for want of hands. Klaus threw a look of sullen discontent towards the land, and lo--he beheld there the figure of the Dwarf gliding along, and surrounded by countless sparkling lights. The lad stood still, and stared with astonishment at the apparition. Dissevered tones, as of a violin, floated in the disturbed air; and when the phantom lifted his fiddlestick, it seemed as if he sent a recognising nod towards his godchild. Klaus urged his beast forward, and at the same moment the Dwarf turned off at a cross-road, and with the speed of an arrow swept towards the neighbourhood of the Dwarf's well.

"Klaus lay awake half the night dwelling upon this encounter, and when he fell to sleep, it was the subject of his dreams. 'The miller,' thought he, 'is right, after all! Godfather may be pacified yet, if he is properly and becomingly spoken to. How kindly he nodded to me! O, if I could get only half my fortune back!' Before Klaus was out of bed again, he resolved to have a trial, and, on the very next day, humbly to present himself to his godfather, if that great personage would deign him an interview. He had to go to the wood for sticks, and time and place were both favourable to a meeting with the spirit.

"The road to the wood lay hard by the Dwarf's well. Klaus, arriving there, reined his horse up, and looked upon the spring with profoundly cogitative eyes. It was clear and still. Pearly bright the water ascended from the rent basaltic bottom, and rippled in a small thread-like rill through whispering rushes, across meadows and fields, until it reached the village.

"'Now, this is the strangest well!' quoth Klaus, knocking out the ashes from his short stump of a pipe--'always humming and brumming when I take my way by it--and when I have passed it, it is just as though I had loaded on another hundred-weight. The poor thing regularly gasps, and plants her hoof as if she were pulling the church after her. Now, wo-ho, Whiteface!--wo-ho!"

As Klaus spoke, the horse snorted, gasped, and stamped, without making any way. It was as though the devil had tied a hair about the spokes. After fearful struggling and long agony, the wood was at length reached. Klaus fell manfully to work. A sheaf of young trees were presently down before his axe. In the haste of the felling, he cut down some shrubbery, of no use in the manufacture of twirling-sticks, but trees and shrubs were heaped together on his cart; he stopped his pipe, and with provision at least for the next week, he gaily pushed towards home.

"It was a fine warm evening of autumn. The moon stood in the cloudless heavens above the blue hills, and the rich region lay in her splendour. Klaus hummed a careless tune; smoked and hummed, hummed and smoked. In the swampy marsh meadows to the right and left of him, number of social frogs joined in the concert; the streams were steaming in the valleys, and silvery mists strayed, catching the radiance, along the mountain forests.

"'Wo-ho, Blässe!' growled Klaus, as his favourite began to snort and caracole. 'No shying, Whiteface! It is only the night-fog bubbling up a bit. 'Twon't singe thy poor bones, wo-ho!' and then he cracked his whip, and made it sing about the ears of the mulish beast. At the same moment, a bright flame sprang up before him--but only like a flash of lightning; for in an instant all was again hushed, dim, and lonely. The moon was visible through the mist, and in Hörnitz the lights were seen glimmering.

"'Oho!' thought Klaus, 'godfather is lighting his pipe, is he? We shall soon see, then, how the world wags with him. Hollo! Godfather Stringstriker, be good and kind to your child, and show yourself. Tell me, dear godfather, how I am to fill my money-bags again; for you know who had the emptying of them! There's a nice dear old gentleman, come out to me--I do so long to see you!'

"It was all very proper for Klaus to evince such amiability, but it had not the effect intended. Not a sound could he hear in reply. He waited for a space; then bellowed again into the open air--waited again, and holloed again. But all was quiet save the water of the spring which purled amongst the pebbles, and the grassy reeds that rustled and sighed through the mist, now reeking thicker and thicker around the speaker and his sorry jade. Klaus waxed spiteful.

"'Godfather!' he cried, striking poor Whiteface in his wrath, 'thou art a thick-lipped, crooked-legged lubber; that's what you are! Every question is worth an answer; it is a rule that holds good with man and beast; and why not amongst ghosts? Why did you beckon to me yesterday if you did not mean to show? You invited me here, and now that I have come, the tortoise creeps into his hole. You are a cruel, hard-hearted godfather. But never mind--good-night, Dwarf-piper Here's a present for thee. I bear thee no malice!'

"So speaking, Klaus threw a pocket-knife into the well, which he passed at the moment. The knife dropped into the water; a flame shot suddenly up, and was as quickly out. Klaus pressed his nag again; but the poor beast reared, snorted, and dragged at the gearing, without being able to move the cart an inch. The fog severed a little, and the moonbeams lay in great beauty upon a hundred acres. Klaus attempted to give his animal ease; but let Whiteface tug as she would, the cart stood still as if it had been frost-bound.

"'That ugly thick head of godfather's has certainly caught amongst the felloes," said Klaus, almost worried to death, and looking about him half-curiously, half-timorously. It wanted very little to pitch him backwards out of the vehicle, so astonished and affrighted was he with all that he beheld. The ghost-seer had seen many sights, but this beggared them all. His cart, in length and breadth, was covered with millions of dwarfs; every fir-spray, every dark green spike of a leaf, every pole, nay, even wheels and wheelspokes to the nave itself, were beset with the creatures. And what were they all about? Tiny, miraculous beings! labouring with unexampled diligence at the prettiest dancing-pumps ever seen! The Lilliput shoelings glistered like Spelt in the tiny brown hands of the workmen, as, turned to and fro, they came under the numerous and almost invisible hammers and awls. Every brilliant pair finished, and out of hand, was briskly strung up on cobwebs, with which the cart, vaultwise, was overwoven; and upon which, at the very first glance, Klaus himself could count more than three hundred thousand finished shoes. The astounded waggoner could for a long time do nothing more than fold his arms, and stare on in silence. The little rogues looked inexpressibly comical, it must be confessed. They were exactly half an inch in length, with great thick heads, on which were fixed leathern-coloured caps, at least six times the size, every one being decorated in front, by way of clasp, with a tiny glow-worm. Their legs were very slender and very crooked, although their feet were delicate and beautifully formed. Their little bodies, endowed in excess with high shoulders, were clad in fine dark-brown satin jackets, and about the waist were girdles of glistening silver, from which jingled the needful workman's apparatus. As soon as one of the little fellows had to hammer a sole, he adroitly tucked round his left leg, and, upon his tiny heel, beat out the bit of leather into order.

"'This must be profitable work any how!' quoth Klaus, breaking out at length, and, at the instant, the busy workers raised their headikins, and goggled so drolly at the young boor, that the latter was seized with a laughter which he found it impossible to control. The Dwarfs were set off also, and for some time they roared together; that is to say, Klaus roared, but the voicelets of the Dwarfs sounded only like a light whisper. Their laughing, however, did not prevent the smoking of their twirling-stick pipes, which they seemed to take much delight in; each Dwarf, it must be known, carrying in his mouth the strangest little twirling-stick, the four little arms of which reeked like pipe-heads.

"'If it is quite allowable, gentlemen!' said Klaus, taking off his hat-- a politeness which was immediately responded to by every dwarf--'I should be glad to have a minute's chat with you; and to ask, first and foremost, for whom all this tremendous stock is that you are finishing off so busily and magnificently?'

"One of the cordwainers fastened the shoe that he had just finished, close before the young boor's eyes, upon the cobweb; then he folded his arms in imitation of Klaus, stared at him roguishly, and answered,

"'They are dancing-pumps for thy wedding, Klaus!'

"'For my what?' exclaimed the youth.

"'Thy wedding, Klaus!'

"'Ah, my pretty shoemakers, that's a long way off, I fear. Annie has no great longing to milk the spiders in my stalls, and who can blame her? But who gave you the order? Who took the measures? I guess our Marthas and Marys will want a considerable shoe-horn to get the pumps on, if the greater number don't prove misfits!'

"The Dwarfs laughed and clapped their hands for joy, nodding to one another with such vivacity, that the glow-worms upon their bonnets flew one amongst another.

"'Don't believe it, gossip--don't believe it,' rejoined the spokesman. 'We work for ourselves only. We mean to dance at thy wedding--every one of us, regularly one after the other, with thy virtuous bride."

"'What! all of you?' asked Nicholas, hurriedly.

"'All, all! as many of us as there are pairs of shoes!'

"'Thank you for nothing!' returned Klaus. 'Why, you would make me a widower before my wedding was over. Annie is a good strapping girl I know, and she carries her bushel of winter wheat, in defiance of Geordie, the miller's man, up three flights without stop or sigh; and that, from old time, has always been with us a sign of sound lungs: but a man can't drink, my little cobblers, beyond his thirst. You understand? Now would it not be better--mind you I am much obliged to you for the honour, all the same--if you sent a few delegates, say two or three; wouldn't that be more considerate to the lady, and show your politeness just as well?'

"'Not a bit of it, not a bit of it!' screamed the broad-bonnets. 'We must all eat, and all dance!'

"'Just like all the world!' muttered Klaus to himself. 'If you invite one of the townsfolk to a church ale he'll take three cakes for one, and stuff himself till the steps groan as he goes down again. I say, gentlemen,' he continued, turning to the Dwarfs, 'are you aware that I am your king's godson, and on the most intimate terms with him?'

"'And that thy father made him fiddle himself to death?' answered the little one resentfully; 'and that thou hast grown a good-for-nought, ready to bung up our whole gracious kingdom in a mouse-hole, had'st thou thy will? Eh, Master Nicholas?"

'Ah, don't be too hard now! Recollect what your king did to my father, and all that I have suffered for the last six months. Look at me! Hasn't Gossip Crookleg stripped me of money, field, and house?'

Again the dwarfs laughed.

'Ha, Klaus!' said the speaker, "Tell us, now, wouldn't you like to see all that went out at the doors fly in again, ere to-morrow, at the windows?"

'Only tell me,' said Klaus quickly, 'how to fill my bags again, and I invite you all, every man Jack of you, to the wedding. There's nothing like shaking hands and being friends again. Forget and forgive, say I!'

'And Annie dances with us?' interposed the Dwarf with eagerness, swinging a pair of newly-made shoes at the same time so impetuously that they slipped out of his hand, and dropped just into the young boor's lap.

'Hollo! I didn't say that!' cried Klaus. 'I'll turn that over in my mind, and give you an answer in the morning.'

A marvellous kind of whining interrupted the discourse. The innumerable band of dwarfs pulled the drollest faces, folded their handikins, and made the most lamentable gesticulations; but the speaker slid like a spider, upon one of the threads which canopied over the cart, down into Klaus's lap; thence he clambered up his jacket, and mounted until he reached the youngster's hand--'Give me the shoes!' he exclaimed maliciously, snatching and catching at the lost property.

"'Not so, not so, dear cousin Broadcap. This bit of workmanship will I hoard up against my marriage, when I promise to put them on you myself, if you will visit me.'

"'No, no, no--give me the shoes!' said the Dwarf fiercely, stamping with both feet, and lifting his manikin fists in menace against Klaus. 'I must and will have the shoes!'

"The remaining dwarfs again set up their sorrowful whine; and then Klaus became aware that an accident had happened which, with prudence, might be turned to great account.

"'Now, fine fellows, listen to me!' said he. 'The shoes you don't have back. But if you will promise to set me to rights again with your king and people, and to give me only the neediest livelihood, then are you welcome to my wedding, to eat and dance as much as you like.

"'Well, Klaus!' answered the Dwarf, 'I see thou hast the best of us; and we have no time to spend in disputation. In thirteen hours from this, we must breathe upon the silver veins of the earth, that they may keep nicely fresh, and in good growth. But an thou wilt hold faith with us, hear my proposal. Come hither again to-morrow evening, and strike with that sprig of yew, that hangs down below thee, into the well water. So, perchance, shalt thou learn what is best to do. Quick, yea or nay?'

"'There can be little harm in that!' returned the farmer. 'I answer--_yea!_'

"'Brrrr----!' snarled and whizzled behind him all over the cart. The dwarfs tumbled down from every twig, bough, spoke, and felloe, and vanished in one large pointed flame, that could be seen for a second blazing from the well.

"Baldface took fright, tore from the spot, and galloped as if for life and death, over stock and stone, until the village was reached. As for Klaus, he did not recover his senses until he found himself again in his own farmyard.

"It was with solicitude and a beating heart that Nicholas awaited the arrival of the next evening. In the meanwhile, he took another and more exact survey of his already half-ruined house; and the result was so melancholy that he felt he must stake life itself for the chance of bettering his fortune. There was not a beam, a board, a rafter, a lath, in the whole house that was not ready, upon the slightest assault, to go to wreck. Of glass windows the rumour was long since extinct. All stood open; and had Klaus been a student of meteorology, a better observatory than his loopholed, tumble-down homestead could not have been to be had. He returned from his tour of inspection more firmly resolved than ever to risk his adventure; and as soon as the sun was set, and the moon traced darker shadows upon the ground, he took his yew-branch and dwarfs' shoes, and set out.

"Klaus made a long circuit, and lingered a long time in the fields, before he could summon courage to approach the spring. He plucked up a heart at last, struck a light, and lit his pipe. Thus armed, he advanced to the well. The yew-twig struck the bright motionless water, and strongly agitated it. The stream exundated on every side; kindled as it mounted, and, tumbling and commingling, in a few seconds, like an enormous flame of fire, rolled forwards and backwards round the margin of the fountain.

"Klaus steadily regarded the mysterious phantasm. The flame enringed the whole well, and at length falling back, in an incomprehensible manner, into itself, began to darken, and to emit vapour. In the midst of the smoke, the young boor recognized Godfather Stringstriker. He was sitting upon a crystal throne, a-squat, with his crooked legs tucked under him, smoking with exquisite complacency a pipe as thick as his arm, terminating in a bowl as large as his head. He seemed wholly occupied in tracing the progress of the massive curls of smoke, which gushed abundantly from his capacious mouth, and took no notice of his godchild. It was left to young Nicholas, therefore, to commence the colloquy.

"'Good even, godfather!' said the lad, not quite at ease. 'I hope you enjoy your evening pipe. You need something to keep yourself warm and comfortable. The air strikes chilly hereabouts!'

"A smile diffused itself over the whole breadth of the dwarf's face, and he puffed away for his life.

"'You're i' th' right, Godson Klaus. I like my bit of pipe! That I can say, and honestly. It's good tobacco, too; a little dear, no doubt, but fairly earned. Wilt try a Whiff?'

"'I--I--I am much obliged, Godfather Stringstriker, but I am no great smoker, and I like to stick to one sort--Porto-rico--threepence a packet. Would you like to taste it?'

"'Cabbage!' rejoined the Dwarf, contemptuously. 'Tobacco, to be good, must smell like mine. Here, put your nose to it. It's Hungarian of the best!'

"The Dwarf pushed out his broad hand, and Klaus stooped towards it. His heart leaped into his throat as he gazed upon a dozen or two of the purest Kremnitz ducats. He darted at them like a tiger; but the Dwarf was prepared for him.

"'Not so, not so!' replied the latter, drawing his hand back. 'Ere thou have them, we must strike a bargain.'

"And with these words the Dwarf took up his pipe, which only a moment before he had laid aside. The attention of young Nicholas was drawn more closely to it by the movement, and he perceived, for the first time, that the colossal bowl was neither more nor less than a bald, smooth, and perfectly white human skull. A closer inspection convinced him that it was that of his own deceased and venerated parent. Above, upon the forehead, there was a moveable clapper, through which the superfluous smoke ascended; the tube was fixed in the mouth, and the eye-holes were continually supplied with gold pieces by a couple of thousand of indefatigable dwarfs, twenty or thirty of whom tugged along one ducat, and were sorely put to it to bring it to the proper place. Klaus was almost unsettled by the discovery.

"'I see,' he said with an unsteady, tremulous voice--'I see, godfather, you have quite a new-fashioned headpiece there. Is it your own particular fancy, or a new French mode?'

"'Quite my own private and individual _goût_, godson Klaus!' answered the Dwarf proudly. 'The flavour is perfect out of an old rogue's skull, that has been danced to death. When it is thoroughly smoke-seasoned, I expect the Grand Turk will give me a million piasters for it. Before then I must look about, and get me another. Heark'ee, godson! how clear it rings already!' And before Klaus could get in a word, the Dwarf gave the well-smoked skull a dozen unmerciful kicks with his heavy topboots.

"'For God's sake, godfather Stringstriker,' exclaimed Klaus, 'have some discretion, or I shall forget myself, and fall foul of you! What! do you think a child has no feeling for his dead parents? and is that a respectable way of treating your friends?'

"'Spare your breath, child!' interposed the Dwarf; 'talking makes no headway with men of my stamp. Let us come to an understanding! Tell me, Klaus--art thou content that, in ten years' time, when this pipe-head is handed over to the Grand Turk, to give up thy numskull for my evening pipe? I own to thee, I envy it. It is of first-rate thickness, and would smoke a pretty while, for thou dost hold, I think, a good quantity.'

"'Come to an end--out with it all, godfather!' said Klaus in a tone of wretchedness. 'What do you wish me to do? I am willing to fast till I die of hunger, and whatever is humanly possible to perform, I will do; but as to your cursed head-smoking, I tell you, once for all, it's out of the question. The thing must be put an end to; for it is a disgrace to me, and a shame to all Christendom!'

"As Klaus spoke in sheer vexation, he smote several times with his yew-slip into the water of the well, without noticing that the clear flood swelled over upon all sides like a lightning fire-glow; whilst a whining moan was plainly audible. The Dwarf put on a very serious countenance, his pipe slipped from his mouth, and, in a completely altered tone, he rejoined--

"'Godchild Klaus, take heed to me! I like your ways, and will make you a well-meant offer. As for this head here,' and he knocked the ducat-ashes out of Simon's skull--'it shall be transferred to thee, and thou shalt keep thine own too, provided thou wilt give me back the two shoes which yesterday one of my merry pages lost. What say you to it?'

"'Eh! what?' said Nicholas, in doubt.

"'Give me the shoes!' repeated Stringstriker.

"'Now look you, godfather!' said Klaus determinedly, 'what if I accept your proposal! Here are your shoes, and you are welcome to them. But I ask you, is life worth having, if I am to be for ever a poor eschewed, scoffed, and scorned castaway? The devil a bit you care for what the world says; but one of us, who is a mere man, spitted upon by a whole village, feels what it is to be poor and contemned. I tell you boldly, godfather, and on my very heart, you must put an end to my misery--for you can do it. Give me back my money and land, and make me honourable amongst my neighbours. I can't sit alone like a night-owl in my hovel. I like to have my fellow-creatures about me, to eat bread and drink water, or it may be a draught of beer with me. I can't live the life of a blessed hermit. I am, as you know, but a simple plain fellow, a boor, a foolish forlorn lad, the unhappy son of poor Mike, danced to death for his sins.'

"Here Nicholas stopped, sobbing piteously, and dropping big and heavy tears, that found their way to the well beneath him.

"'Have you done?' said Stringstriker.

"'I have nothing more to say, godfather,' sighed the lad; 'only be kind, and put all to rights again. I have paid dearly for cursing you upon occasion, and now I humbly ask your pardon for my fault. Give me a handful or two of ducats, that I may get my barn repaired, marry my poor Annie, and again set up for an honest boor. If you will do this, Godfather Stringstriker, your children shall dance at my marriage, and here are your shoes!'

"'A bargain, godson!' said the Dwarf. 'Thou art a right sort of lad, and I will help thee. My children must have their shoes too; for by the loss of them they have gone already a great stride back in their education. Thou canst hear how they cry and beg, the poor things! Come here, and dip into thy father's head. The poor dog no longer feels it. So! that'll do. For the skull, concern thee no further. In a quarter of an hour, it shall be where it should be. But now, I rede thee, look that thou art presently ready to marry, and neglect not bidding good plenty of guests; but invite especially those that have hitherto tightly toused, mocked, and scorned thee. If thou hast lack of coin, thou wottest where Godfather Stringstriker dwells. On thy wedding-day, send hither thy three largest waggons, and to each a team of four strong horses, for I shall load them heavily--and hear'st, Godson Klaus? they shall drive nice and slowly round about the springlet, and then away again at a good gallop back to thy farm-yard. As to thyself, mark me, Klaus! upon thy wedding-day thou shalt stick a yew-leaf in thy left ear, and, as soon as I sign to thee, throw some handfuls of the like upon all the tables. Now, at once, good-night!'

"The shoes were already delivered up. There was a hissing in the air, the water in the well moved in luminous circles, and a hearty laughter seemed to force its way out of all the fissures of the earth. All was then still. The moon burst forth, and shone so brightly that one might have looked for a pin. Klaus felt his good gold in his pockets, and returned gleesome, and in ease of heart, back to his ruinous house.

"After a night spent in pleasant dreams, Klaus reckoned up his cash, and found it sufficient to procure some horses, a few cows, waggon, and gearing. As to the repairs of the mansion, his notion was to do at first only the indispensable, clearly discerning that, in order to live comfortably in future, an entire pulling down and rebuilding was inevitable. He was much more bent upon reappearing as a man of money and estate in the eyes of his fellow farmers. His first care, accordingly, was to hire domestics, male and female, to rig himself out a little, and then, without delay, to push on the preparations for his marriage.

"In less than a fortnight, every thing requisite was done, and the neighbours opened their eyes to thrice their usual size as they suddenly saw life moving again in Nicholas's farmhouse--active labourers once more in his fields. Their astonishment increased upon hearing, next Sunday, the banns published from the pulpit. But when, a week afterwards, the functionary whose office it was, with silver-headed cane, velvet waistcoat and frill, to bid the guests to the approaching wedding, appeared upon the farms of those who, a little before, were Klaus's most memorable calumniators, and invited all, without exception, to the merry-making, then indeed, as if by magic, did the despised Lying Klaus become 'a worthy creature after all,' 'a capital fellow at last,' and have his praises echoed from every beer-bench in the parish. Nobody ever thought of asking how Klaus got possessed of his new money. He had it; that fact was all-sufficient for the multitude. One or two might itch to make their comments upon the quick metamorphosis, but self-love kept them quiet; for every man already licked his lips in anticipation of the marriage-feast that awaited all.

"The preparations for the wedding were busily pushed on. Joiners and carpenters were closing windows, and fastening tottering beams from morning till night. Walls were broken down, and kitchens built up. Nothing had been seen like it by 'the oldest inhabitant.'

"Well, time ran on, and the banns were three times called; there was the spousal at the parsonage, the fetching of the bride by the bridegroom, with an escort of musicians, and at length there was the marriage ceremony itself--all happily got through. The guests, men and women, were numerous, and amongst them not a few who, for a sennight, had lived on half-allowance, the better and more steadily to devour at Klaus's marriage.

"In due time, orders were given to take the three largest waggons to the Dwarf's well, to drive slowly round this thrice, and then to push back at a gallop. The servants did not dare to refuse their master's bidding; but they shook their heads significantly when they received their strange commission, and suspected, firm and fast, that Klaus, in his excessive joy, had already drunk a cup or two beyond his thirst.

"The pastor, sitting at the right hand of the bride, had said grace, and the schoolmaster and the marriage-entreater were about commencing the distribution of the enormous masses of carp, beneath which the tables fairly groaned, when the rattle of the three returning waggons made known to Klaus the arrival of his subterranean guests. His heart beat violently, for at the same instant a well-known whispering and humming met his ear. In obedience to command, he secured the yew-leaf in his left ear, and prepared himself for what might follow. He expected much, but what he saw almost threw him from his seat with astonishment.

"Wherever there was an aperture, a split, or a rent in walls, windows, doors, there came in the dwarfs by hundreds: so as that in a few minutes the whole space was swarming with the little ones. They were most smartly dressed, just as Klaus had previously seen them, only that now, instead of the top boots, they wore those delicate dancing-pumps, upon which the young husbandman had at first caught them at work.

"Klaus attentively noted whether any of his guests had a suspicion of the apparition of these earth mannikins, but there was not a sign of it. The gentlemen forked away gallantly, and the tankards were not running over. As the bridegroom saw the spiritual company still gliding in, so that their number amounted already to hundreds of thousands, and stove-cornices, window-sills, joint-stools, and backs of chairs were thickly beset with the comical companions, he began to be uneasy. He feared lest the brothers of the bride, who were waiting upon the guests, might trample the small brood into fine dust; and in order to divert at least all blame from himself, he addressed himself to his godfather, then approaching him.

"'You do me great honour, respected godfather, by your presence--but please remember, I cannot answer for dwarf slaughter--and murderous crushings. Only look at the quantity of spruce vermin you have done me the favour to bring with you!'

"Stringstriker waved his hand magnanimously, and told his godson that it was of little consequence. Then with a bold leap, the king mounted the long table, picked his way to the middle of it, and there, with legs astride, fast planted himself. Not one of all the guests perceived the larger Dwarf, any more than they could see the countless little ones. Even Annie and the clergyman were stone-blind: so that Klaus, speaking unintelligibly at every turn, had to bear the jokes of all; for young and old, woman and man, chimed readily in with the tone of sportive raillery, as soon as it was once pitched.

"The company indeed persisted in laughing and rioting so loudly at the bridegroom's expense, that the pastor of the flock at length felt himself called upon to assume his face of office--to put a damper, as it were, upon the unseemly proceeding. Just as he began, a new dish, soup with crabs' noses, (hotchpotch,) engaged exclusively the regard of the whole of the guests. A full plate was set before every visitor, but scarcely set before him, before, with the speed of lightning, from chair-backs, window-sills, stove-cornices, nay, from the floor itself, innumerable dwarfs bounded on to the table, and, taking their places by all the plates, in three seconds consumed the savoury viand. To complete the astonishment, the confusion, the wrath, the fury of the voracious boors, Stringstriker himself galloped up and down the whole length of the table, breaking all the vessels, and draining all the beer and brandy with wonderful celerity.

"Had the most precious jewels of the Holy Roman Empire been plundered by the Turks, there could not have been a greater commotion than arose among the wedding-guests. Every man jumped up, turned in anger and disgust towards his neighbour, sate down again, and again began to reach after the food, without being able, of course, to get a morsel. Then every man swore his neighbour was making a fool of him, and, from the coarsest words, it came, without loss of time, to dreadful menaces and blows. So greedy were some after the liquorish cookery that they gave themselves good smart punctures in lip and tongue; inasmuch as the mischievous dwarfs, as soon as any in his haste forked up a piece of meat, incontinently had it down their own throats. With such provocation, the blows, on all sides, came down in showers; more ears were peppered, backs thumped, ribs punched, than the prize-ring of England had ever seen. And, as if it were not enough for the men to be sparring, the women, seeing their husbands covered with blood and bruises, must needs take up the cudgels, and fall to fighting too! A hundred arms were a-kimbo in a twinkling. Caps were dragged off, and nails shown with amazonian spirit. There was a general mêlée; every soul at the table was engaged in the contest. Marriage and bridal pair were forgotten; and Klaus roared at the droll uproar till his throat smarted again: for, not much to his regret, he soon enough became aware that his enemies and his calumniators were the parties who were coming off second best.

"This mutual threshing had lasted a good quarter of an hour, when a sign from Stringstriker directed the bride-groom to scatter the yew-leaves. In an instant the table was covered with them; and the guests, as if bewitched, dispersed in grotesque groups, and remained transfixed. Every eye was on the busy dwarfs. Klaus's godfather, crossing his legs, seated himself upon the table, and began to scrape his fiddle. The earth mannikins then arranged themselves in order, swung their broad hats gracefully, and, one stepping upon the shoulder of another, built up a living pyramid above the bride. A number clambered up to the very top of her tinsel crown, where, still two and two, they took possession of a spangle, fixed themselves upon it, and rocking to and fro, set up a soft and tender song. The bride danced to its tune, the pyramid of dwarfs along with her; and it was enchanting to see how their shining silvery girdles, and the bright clasps upon their caps, flashed and sparkled in the varying figure. Three times the dwarfs changed in the building of this pyramid, and three times, attended by it, must the bride dance round the table, through the gaping groups of guests. This done, Stringstriker played a lively march, broke through a window with his fiddlestick, and leapt out through the opening--whilst the whole dwarf brotherhood, waltzing, laughing, tumbling, in a countless crowd, prepared to follow him. For a time the procession fluctuated through the air, where the girdles yet sparkled. Soon, like a dissolving gleam, all vanished!

"The stupified boors were now able to stir themselves again. Doubtless there were many bumps, black and blue faces, and bloody noses: but the sight of all could not suppress the most extravagant merriment. All that had happened was looked upon as a prank of the fiddler, and many in their hearts felt that they had only received a just punishment for their coarse and unchristian calumnies.

"Klaus Stringstriker's fame lived upon every tongue. The dwarfs obtained no mean eulogies: and when it was at last discovered that the small mannikins had, close before the window, one and all thrown down their broad brown capkins with the brilliant clasps, the company for joy was almost mad. The bridegroom was importuned, in remembrance of this marvellous festival, to bestow upon each guest one such dwarf-hatkin, and Klaus did not need a long begging. Each one acquired a hatkin with its agraffe: some of a greedy nature, by stealth, possessed themselves of two. The presents given, the company returned to the board, and drank and uproared far into the night.

"Upon the morrow, Klaus found the Dwarf-hatkins turned into so many Kremnitz double ducats, and upon each there lay, glittering in the sunshine, a fine diamond. As he gathered them, a delicate voice from unseen lips whispered to him that these were his father's hairs. All the gift-receivers had the same wonder to tell. Those, however, who had secretly taken away the second dwarf's cap were punished for the theft-- for they got nothing from the transformation but a wet and worthless beech-leaf.

"From that hour all haunting upon Klaus's estate ceased. Even at the Dwarf's well nothing remarkable was seen, save once a-year--upon the anniversary of the young boor's wedding-day--when a great gamboling flame appeared upon the waters, in which a singing and ringing might be heard, like the voices of the smallest beings. The fortunate Klaus built himself a great house, repurchased the tavern, and upon the pillar where Stringstriker, tied up by his father, had had to fiddle so long, he carved an inscription which published the Dwarf's praise to every guest And his father's grave he surrounded with a fair iron grating. As for himself, his intercourse with the Dwarf had made him prudent. He ruled his substance discreetly, helped the poor, and cautioned the light-witted by the relation of his own history. So he became the richest and most respected man of the whole neighbourhood; and at length acquired the name of the _Dwarf's advocate_: because, as Klaus maintained, and as it was generally believed, a most important service had been rendered, by the passages of Klaus's history, to these singular and benevolent earth-spirits themselves."

SOME REMARKS ON SCHILLER'S MAID OF ORLEANS.

Perhaps there is no play of Schiller's which is read with more general pleasure than the _Maid of Orleans_, nor one against which so many critical objections have been raised. Some of these we wish to examine, in order either to remove, or with greater accuracy to re-state them. It will be seen at once that we have no intention of entering into any general review or estimate of this great dramatic poet. Too much has been written, and especially in this place, on Schiller, to permit us to be tempted into any such design. We shall not wander from the single play we have selected for our criticism.