Chapter XIII: Amateur Movie Making (1)

Amateur theatrical clubs, theater guilds, and the like, have done much to make the modern drama the great art that it is. But because of the overwhelming expense heretofore attached to the making of movies there have been no attempts at any similar activities in the films. The movies have never had the advantage of the experiments of amateur societies.

To-day, however, the making of movies by amateurs is a distinct possibility. The possibilities of making a motion picture at comparatively little expense were first drawn to public attention five years ago when two young men, both of whom have become well-known directors, made a saleable photoplay in their own back yard. These boys had many theories about what a movie should and should not be, but they could never find a company willing to give their theories a trial. Finally they hit upon the original expedient of buying their own camera and making a picture in which nearly all the actors were children and which therefore cost very little money. Nearly all the scenes were exteriors, so that practically no scenery was required. The picture was most original and in spite of their technical shortcomings, they found a fairly profitable sale.

If you desire to write, direct or act in the pictures, you can have no better experience than trying to make a picture of your own, even if at first you are not very successful.

The great initial expense for this sort of thing is, of course, the outlay required to buy a camera. In most towns of any size there are now professional movie cameramen who work for the news reel companies and who may be hired for a comparatively small sum. If, however, you desire to make your photoplay an entirely amateur affair, you can buy a usable second-hand camera for outdoor work for as low as a hundred dollars.

Some one of your associates must make it his business to learn to run this camera with sufficient skill to insure that your film will not be wasted.

The next important outlay is that of the film itself. Film costs about eleven or twelve cents a foot when developed and printed. Therefore, the cost of production depends largely upon the length of your picture. For a first attempt we should advise you to keep your photoplay within 2,000 feet, or two reels.

Start by writing a simple story into a scenario with as many exterior scenes as possible. The necessary interiors, such as rooms or hallways, may be built by your own amateurs, outdoors, as they are often built in California, so that no lights will be necessary. You can paint your own subtitle cards--the written inserts--and film them yourself.

Sun reflectors, consisting of silvered canvas screens, are used to lighten the shadows, which are apt to make the cheeks seem hollow. The actors are Basil Sydney and May Collins.]

It is not necessary to make the scenes in their natural sequence. After the picture is finished and developed, however, someone must assemble and cut it.

This means that you must rent the use of the projection machine at your local theater for a few mornings, and get the local operator to help you splice and cement the film together in its correct order of long shots and close-ups. There is no rule for this work except that of practical values on the screen. Just run your bits of film through the projection machine and stick them together the way they look best. It is a matter of artistic perception rather than any set rule.

If your scenario calls for an outdoor picture--for example, a cowboy story--which does not require costumes, you should be able to make it for a thousand dollars, provided your amateur actors, and amateur cameramen, and amateur authors are working for nothing. There are mighty few amateur theatricals of any pretention whatsoever which do not cost as much as this, and you should be able to take in a good profit if your picture is exploited in your local theaters.

As a matter of fact, pictures have not always been produced on the scale that they are to-day. Ten years ago feature pictures cost from $5,000 to $7,000 to make, and in those days film and cameras were much more expensive. The producers simply made outdoor pictures which required no lights or scenery, and saved on the salaries of actors and directors, which have multiplied twenty times since then. To-day the average feature picture costs from $50,000 to $150,000 to produce. Griffith's "'Way Down East" cost nearly a million to produce. That is because the salaries of actors, directors and authors have risen so enormously.

But there is no reason why an amateur company in which the cost of salaries is completely eliminated cannot make their own picture at a minimum expense. If you want to break into the movies, here is a way to do it, right in your own home town.

INTRODUCTORY NOTE TO PART II

Whether you desire to break into the movies as writer, actor or director, your most important consideration will be the scenario. In the scenario you will find all the elements of the photoplay; everything is built upon that as a foundation. The actor or director who sincerely desires to do good work studies his script assiduously. The ambitious writer analyzes not only his own photoplays, but those of other people.

It is exceedingly difficult to talk technique to anyone who has never read a scenario. For this reason we have incorporated a "continuity" in this book. It is the dramatic form of a screen story which we have made as a special production. The titles, which are the written inserts to be flashed on the screen, are in capital letters. The inserts refer to such articles as letters, telegrams, pictures, and the like, which may be shown in close-up. The "iris" is the broadening or narrowing of the frame of the picture to open or close a scene, or to emphasize some particular object which is "irised" upon. The "fade" effects are used very much as the curtain of the legitimate stage is used to open and close scenes. The abbreviation "Sp" means "Speech," indicating that the title which follows is to be spoken by the actor. Some of the quoted lines--the ones not set off in capitals--are not shown on the screen, but are merely given as a guide for the players.

Most of the directions concerning the scenes are also given in capital letters. "EXTERIOR," or the abbreviated "EXT.," for example, refers to a scene outdoors, while "INTERIOR" or "INT.," is an indoor scene. The terms "LONG SHOT" and "CLOSE-UP" refer to the distance at which the camera is placed from the scene.

"Red Hot Romance" is played as a romantic melodrama, but is intended as a satire upon this very type of story, with its incredibly heroic hero, its American girl, its marines-to-the-rescue and all the rest of it. Basil Sydney and May Collins played the parts of Roland and Rosalie, and Victor Fleming was the director.

RED HOT ROMANCE

T: IT'S BAD ENOUGH FOR SOME TO BOSS THE REST OF US WHILE THEY ARE
ALIVE, BUT THE LIMIT IS REACHED WHEN THEY WANT TO KEEP RIGHT
ON AFTER THEY HAVE CASHED IN.

T: FOR INSTANCE, THERE WAS OLD HARDER N. STONE, THE
VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE BRITISH-AMERICAN INSURANCE CO.

1. LIBRARY, STONE HOME IN WASHINGTON. (Fade in.) Harder N. Stone,
an old skinflint, is seated at his desk writing.

INSERT--Stone's hand writing the following:

"I, Harder N. Stone, of Washington, D. C., hereby direct that,
should I die before my son, Roland Stone, he is to receive
from my estate the sum of $50.00 per week and the use of my
residence in Washington, D. C, until his twenty-fifth
birthday."

Stone sits back and regards what he has been writing, smiles
smugly, and then continues writing.

INSERT--Stone's hand writing the following:

"On his twenty-fifth birthday, provided he has lived according
to instructions herein set down, my son, Roland Stone, is to
receive his inheritance at the hands of my chosen executor,
Lord Howe-Greene, of London, President of the British-American
Insurance Co."

Stone sits back and reads over what he has written and is
highly pleased. He then rings for a servant and presently
Briggs enters. He is a little English butler, who has been in
the family for years. Stone turns to him and tells him that he
has just been making out his will. Briggs is properly
impressed and Stone says to him:

SP: "BRIGGS, I HAVE PROVIDED IN MY WILL THAT IF I DIE BEFORE MY
SON YOU ARE TO STAY ON WITH HIM AS LONG AS YOU LIVE."

Briggs is highly pleased, thanks him, Stone dismisses him,
goes on writing. (Fade out.)

THE OLD BOY DID DIE, AS HE DESERVED TO, AND LEFT HIS SON AND
HEIR, ROLAND STONE, WITH NOTHING TO DO BUT LIVE ON $50.00 PER
WEEK.

2. ROLAND'S BEDROOM. (Fade in.) He is lolling in bed in
pajamas and dressing gown, smoking a cigarette and opening a
stack of bills and reading them.

INSERT--top bill--tailor's bill with a balance from the month
before and about $275.00 for this month with a note in heavy
letters "PLEASE REMIT." This one is turned over, and the
second one is from a club with a statement "You have this day
been posted for $179.00 and your credit is hereby suspended
until same is paid." This bill is turned over and the third
bill is from a florist's for $950.00 worth of flowers sent to
Miss Rosalie Bird and has a note reading: "Impossible for us
to fill any more orders until these bills are paid."

Roland puts down the bills in disgust, not looking further, as
he knows they're all alike.

Briggs, the butler, now enters and takes up the breakfast tray
which is lying on the bed opposite beside Roland. Roland looks
up to him, then looks at the bills, and says:

SP: "HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO PAY THESE BILLS ON $50.00 A WEEK?"

Briggs shrugs his shoulders as though he had nothing to do
with it, and suggests that Roland's bills are too big. He then
leaves. Roland looks after him, disgusted, runs through a few
more bills, throws them on the floor and at this juncture,
Tom, Roland's valet, a big husky negro with a child-like,
innocent smile, enters the room with letters, goes to Roland
and hands him the letters. Roland looks at them and sees they
are more bills, puts them down. Tom picks up others from floor
and gives them to Roland, much to his disgust. He looks up to
Tom and says:

SP: "YOU'RE A FINE 'SECRETARY'! WHAT DO I PAY YOU FOR?"

Tom looks up at him, round-eyed and smiles and says:

SP: "YOU DON'T."

This is a poser for Roland for a moment, he finally regains
his composure and says:

SP: "WELL, I AM GOING TO WHEN I GET MY INHERITANCE NEXT APRIL."

Tom nods his head quizzically as he has heard this many times
before. Roland then picks up the bills, runs through them
again and says:

SP: "THE QUESTION NOW IS--HOW ARE WE GOING TO LIVE UNTILAPRIL?"

He sighs, reaches over to a table which has a little calendar
on it, picks up the calendar, sees that it is the 13th of
January, and runs through the pages very dubiously. He finally
looks up at Tom, shows him how many days they have to live
through on the calendar, and says:

SP: "I HAVEN'T A NICKEL AND I CAN'T BORROW ANYTHING NOW. HOW
ARE WE GOING TO LIVE UNTIL APRIL?"

Tom looks about very dubiously. Finally he gets an idea, he
looks from one object of furniture to another, and his idea
grows until he is fairly beaming and he says:

SP: "THEY'S A MIGHTY LOT OF HOCKABLE STUFF AROUND HEAH, BOSS!"

He indicates the things around the room, and Roland is
delighted with the idea. He picks up the bunch of bills, looks
at the top one.

INSERT--TAILOR'S BILL.

Roland then looks around for something to pay that with and
his eye falls upon an antique vase. He jumps out of bed, takes
the vase and hands it to Tom together with the tailor's bill,
saying that that will pay for that. Roland looks at the next
bill.

INSERT--BILL FROM CLUB.

Roland then takes a couple of ornaments from the mantel, gives
them to Tom together with the club bill saying that they will
pay for that. Roland then looks at the next bill.

INSERT--FLORIST'S BILL.

Roland then takes a picture from the wall, leaving a
discolored place behind it, saying that will pay for that. He
then thinks a moment and picks up a little antique clock and
hands it to Tom, saying:

SP: "AND BUY HER SOME ORCHIDS WITH THIS."

Tom grins, goes out loaded down with all the junk. Roland
looks after him, very pleased with himself, and, probably
thinking of his girl and the orchids, smiles, and fade out.

T: INDICATING THAT IT'S TEA TIME.

3. EXTERIOR COLONEL BIRD'S HOUSE. (Fade in.)

Roland comes down the street with a bunch of orchids in his
hand and goes up and rings the bell.

T: COLONEL BIRD, OF VIRGINIA, WHO HAS BEEN HANGING AROUND
WASHINGTON FOR THIRTY-FIVE YEARS, WAITING FOR A JOB WHICH WAS
FIRST PROMISED HIM BY PRESIDENT CLEVELAND.

4. PARLOR, COLONEL BIRD'S HOUSE. Colonel Bird, seated at a
desk, very busily reading several large law books and making
notes, trying to "kid" himself into believing that he is busy.
A colored mammy presently shows in Roland, who greets the
Colonel very effusively. The Colonel asks Roland to sit down,
which he does. The servant exits. The Colonel, not being very
greatly impressed with Roland, excuses himself and goes on
with his work, explaining that he has some very important
matters on hand. Roland looks at him, smiles to himself, then
looks out expectantly toward the hall.

T: THE COLONEL'S DAUGHTER, ROSALIE, THE LADY OF THE ORCHIDS.

5. HALLWAY, COLONEL'S HOUSE. Rosalie comes down the stairs
and enters the parlor.

6. PARLOR, COLONEL'S HOUSE. Rosalie rushes over, greets Roland.
The Colonel rises until Roland and the girl are seated
when he sits and goes on with his on a sofa, work. Roland
gives Rosalie the orchids. Rosalie thanks him, but says:

SP: "ROLAND, YOU SHOULDN'T BUY ORCHIDS EVERY DAY."

She then points around to different vases in the room, all of
which are full of orchids. She holds on to the orchids and
gives Roland a little lecture on economy, telling him he has
no business to spend his money so foolishly. And Roland says
he thought she liked orchids. She says she does and he's a
dear sweet boy to bring them, but he sees she is not pleased
and is correspondingly depressed.

7. EXTERIOR COLONEL'S BIRD'S HOUSE. A low rakish roadster drives
up and out of it gets Jim Conwell. He has a small sized
package in his hand.

CLOSE UP--And he runs up and rings the bell.

T: JIM CONWELL IS ONE OF THAT BROTHERHOOD OF DIPLOMATIC
HANGERS-ON WHO MAKE A SHADY LIVELIHOOD BY DOING THE DIRTY WORK
OF THE VARIOUS WASHINGTON EMBASSIES.

8. EXT. COLONEL BIRD'S PORCH. The colored mammy opens the door,
lets in Conwell, takes his hat and coat and shows him into the
parlor.

9. PARLOR COLONEL BIRD'S HOUSE. The colored mammy shows Conwell

SP: "HERE'S A LITTLE THING I PICKED UP IN AN ANTIQUE SHOP. I
THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE IT."

Rosalie puts down her orchids in Roland's chair. She then
takes the package, opens it up and takes out Roland's clock.
She lets out a cry of surprise and delight, then turns to
Conwell and says:

SP: "IT'S LOVELY! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED A CLOCK LIKE THAT."

Roland looks at this, open-mouthed and in absolute
astonishment, sits down in his chair, smashing the orchids.
Rosalie then shows the clock to the old Colonel and the two of
them rave over it, forgetting the existence of Roland, who
finally comes to sufficiently to see that he's sitting on
something, gets up and picks up the mashed orchids, looks at
them disgustedly. The clock is finally put in place on the
mantel and Rosalie comes back and joins Roland, who stands
looking ruefully at the flowers in his hand. He dolefully
shows them to her, and she, seeing he is hurt, comforts him,
telling him he's a dear boy and she loves the orchids. She
takes them from him and tenderly straightens them out, but
Roland is still in the dumps. Conwell is now throwing a lot of
"bull" at the old Colonel, saying:

SP: "I JUST SAID TO THE SECRETARY OF STATE: 'YOU'RE NOT LOOKING
VERY WELL, ELIHU, I WISH YOU'D LET MY OLD FRIEND, COLONEL
BIRD, TAKE SOME OF THE WORK OFF YOUR HANDS.'"

He goes on spouting and the old Colonel fairly eats it up.
Finally, Roland, unhappy and jealous and disgusted at Conwell,
gets up and tells Rosalie he has to go. Rosalie begs him to
stay in her sweetest manner, but Roland takes another look at
Conwell, says no, he's got to go, says good-by to Rosalie and
says good-by to the Colonel and Conwell, and leaves.

STREET EXT. COL. BIRD'S HOUSE.--Roland comes out and goes
dolefully down the street. (Fade out.)

HALLWAY ROLAND'S HOUSE. Roland enters, disheartened. Hangs up
hat and coat and stick and goes slowly into library.

10. LIBRARY ROLAND'S HOUSE. (Fade in.) Tom is fussing about the
room. Roland enters the room, terribly depressed and upset and
starts to tell Tom about the scene that just took place. He
goes on talking about Conwell and finally says:

SP: "THE OLD MAN STANDS FOR ALL OF CONWELL'S BUNK AND THINKS HE'S
GREAT."

Tom is very sympathetic and tells Roland he ought to settle
the matter. Roland agrees with him, pounds on the table, and
says:

SP: "I THINK THE TIME HAS COME WHEN I OUGHT TO TELL ROSALIE I LOVE
HER!"

Tom agrees with him, says that's absolutely right. Roland says
he knows it's right--the only thing to do is to come to an
understanding right away. He then goes over to the telephone
and calls a number, and while he is waiting for the number, he
goes on talking to Tom, telling him just how he is going to
settle things and Tom encourages him.

11. HALLWAY COLONEL BIRD'S HOUSE. Rosalie comes down the hall to
the telephone and answers it.

12. LIBRARY ROLAND'S HOUSE. Roland is still talking to Tom,
telling him how he's going to lay down the law when he
suddenly hears Rosalie's voice over the 'phone. All his
belligerency oozes out. He smiles and stammers foolishly and
gulps and tries to get his courage up as if he were going to
lay matters right before her and finally weakens and comes out
with

SP: "HOW ARE YOU?"

13. HALLWAY COLONEL BIRD'S HOUSE. Rosalie, wondering what the
devil he's asking her that for when he just left her, frowns
quizzically and says that she's feeling all right.

14. LIBRARY ROLAND'S HOUSE. Roland goes on talking through the
'phone in a stammering embarrassed sort of way, and Tom keeps
telling him to go on and tell her what he said he was going
to. Roland tries to motion to Tom and he goes on stammering
and stuttering.

15. HALLWAY COLONEL BIRD'S HOUSE. Rosalie still very quizzically
listening to Roland. She finally asks him what is the matter
with him.

16. LIBRARY ROLAND'S HOUSE. Roland stammering into the 'phone.
Finally Tom, utterly disgusted, comes over to the 'phone and
yells in it:

SP: "HE'S TRYING TO ASK YOU TO MARRY HIM, MISS ROSALIE! WILL YOU?"

Roland turns angrily to Tom, still holding the receiver to his
ear, and starts to berate Tom soundly, when he suddenly hears
something in the telephone which stops him. He listens,
overcome with wonderment and finally says:

SP: "SAY THAT AGAIN!"

17. HALLWAY COLONEL BIRD'S HOUSE. Rosalie at the 'phone,
laughing, says:

SP: "YES. OF COURSE I WILL!"

18. LIBRARY ROLAND'S HOUSE. Roland can hardly believe his ears,
makes her reiterate it, then turns to Tom in great glee and
says:

SP: "IT'S ALL RIGHT. SHE SAYS YES."

He then turns back to the 'phone and asks Rosalie if she
really means it. While he is talking to Rosalie, Tom goes over
to a heavy couch, pulls it out toward the hall. Roland still
at the 'phone talking, turns and asks Tom what he is doing.
Tom still pulling the couch says:

SP: "AH'M GOING TO BUY YOU A ENGAGEMENT RING."

Roland smiles and nods, and suddenly thinks of the clock
episode, stops Tom, tells him to wait a minute, then turns
toward the telephone and says:

SP: "WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE--A RING OR A SOFA?"

19. HALLWAY COLONEL BIRD'S HOUSE. Rosalie listening at the 'phone
is utterly dumbfounded at this odd request, she asks him to
repeat it, then finally still puzzled, says:

SP: "WHY, A RING, OF COURSE! YOU SILLY BOY!"

20. LIBRARY ROLAND'S HOUSE. Roland listening at the 'phone, hears
Rosalie wants the ring, turns to Tom and tells him to go on
and hock the sofa. He then turns to Rosalie, starts in to talk
to her ecstatically over the 'phone, smiling, as we fade out.

T: THAT NIGHT AT THE HANGOUT OF THE FRINGE OF THE DIPLOMATIC SET.

21. A WOP RESTAURANT. (Fade in.) This is a typical $1.35 Table
d'Hote joint. Seated at the various tables are many diplomatic
hangers-on, all of them crooked and all looking out for the
main chance. Among them is a Mexican, a Frenchman, an
Englishman, a German, a Russian, an Italian, a Chinaman, a
Jap, a Bulgarian, a Hindoo and their women--perhaps three or
four Americans, but the atmosphere is generally foreign, the
waiters being Wops.

Seated at one table is Conwell alone. He is eating spaghetti
and looking very sourly about.

T: ENRICO DE CASTANET OF BUNKONIA.

Enrico is seated at a table talking to a very attractive vamp
type of a woman.

T: HIS LADY FRIEND (THE INTERNATIONAL VAMP AND SPY), COUNTESS
PULLOFF DE PLOTZ.

The Countess is listening very intently to Enrico. Enrico goes
on talking very earnestly, and finally says:

SP: "YOU SEE, WE MUST HAVE A MAN WHO CAN BE BOUGHT BODY AND SOUL."

The Countess agrees with him, and perhaps suggests somebody,
whom Enrico says would never do. The Countess starts thinking
again, and, as she does, her eyes wander over the room and she
sees Conwell, who has just gotten up, paid his bill and given
the waiter a very small tip, at which the waiter shows his
disgust. Conwell then turns to leaves the restaurant, starts
down toward Enrico and the Countess. The Countess sees him,
has a sudden idea that he would be fine for the job and points
him out to Enrico. At this moment, Conwell has stopped to talk
to someone at one of the tables, Enrico looks him over from
head to foot, asks the Countess if she is sure he can be
handled; she assures him he can.

SP: "HE WORKED FOR THE SHIPPING BOARD."

Enrico agrees that he looks like a good bet, and just at this
moment Conwell comes past the table, sees the Countess motion
to him. He comes over to the table, Enrico rises and the
Countess introduces him saying:

SP: "SENOR DE CASTANET IS MINISTER OF WAR OF BUNKONIA."

Conwell is mildly interested in this fact. Enrico then asks
Conwell to sit down, so he takes a seat, and the Countess then
begins to get very confidential. She looks around to see that
no one is looking, then getting their three heads together,
she says in whispered tones:

SP: "WE ARE ENGINEERING A LITTLE REVOLUTION DOWN IN BUNKONIA."

Conwell is a little more interested now. He pricks up his ears
a bit and casually glances around to make sure no one is
overhearing, then looks to De Castanet for some information,
and De Castanet, with a quick glance around says to Conwell:

SP: "THE AMERICAN CONSUL HAS RESIGNED AND A NEW ONE IS TO BE
APPOINTED NEXT MONTH."

Conwell is still more interested, asks Enrico where do I come
in? Enrico says, indicating Madame:

SP: "I AM HERE TO SEE THAT THE 'RIGHT' MAN IS APPOINTED."

Conwell says "Oh ho," he sees and looks at the Countess, who
nods her approval. He then asks her where he comes in. With
more mysterious looks, they get their heads very closely
together, and the Countess says:

SP: "WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU FOR CONSUL? THE PICKINGS ARE
GOING TO BE FINE FOR THE 'RIGHT MAN.'"

Conwell considers a moment, smiles quizzically and shakes his
head and says:

SP: "NO, I'M IN WRONG--THE SENATE WOULDN'T CONFIRM ME."

The Countess tries to argue with him but heis obdurate and
says there's no chance for him, but as they are talking he is
suddenly struck with a brilliant idea. He says, "Wait a
minute." They all wait and finally he speaks and says:

SP: "I'VE GOT JUST THE MAN FOR YOU!"

They are all attention and eager to know who it is. He
indicates that this must be very much on the quiet and then
says:

SP: "OLD COLONEL BIRD--FINE RECORD--EASY TO HANDLE--BEEN
WAITING THIRTY-FIVE YEARS FOR A JOB."

The Countess indicates that she knows old Bird and tells
Enrico that he is ideal, that they couldn't do better. Enrico
asks if he can be handled when the time comes. Conwell swells
up and tells him to leave that to him. It's the easiest thing
in the world. Enrico turns to Madame, who backs up Conwell and
Enrico is then satisfied. Conwell then speaks up and says:

SP: "I'LL GO ALONG AS SECRETARY AND KEEP MY EYE ON THE OLD BOY."

They both express their approval of that, and indicate that he
will get part of the swag. The Countess leans over and says
rather tauntingly:

SP: "I SUPPOSE THE OLD BOY'S DAUGHTER WILL GO ALONG, TOO!"

Conwell says he bets she will and winks the other eye. The
Countess laughs and Enrico smiles, interested at the idea of a
romance. He and the Countess exchange glances. Conwell then
says:

SP: "REMEMBER--MUM'S THE WORD UNTIL AFTER THE APPOINTMENT IS
MADE."

They all agree to that and put their heads together and go on
with their scheming. (Fade out.)

T: AND SO IT CAME TO PASS----

22. PARLOR COLONEL BIRD'S HOUSE. (Fade in.) An old trunk in the
middle of the floor and the Colonel and mammy are packing in
his books, papers, etc. The Colonel all full of business and
very busy. Rosalie is helping, but is very sad over the
matter.

23. EXTERIOR COLONEL BIRD'S HOUSE. Roland rushes down the street
with a newspaper in his hand, runs up the steps and rings the
bell.

24. PARLOR COLONEL BIRD'S HOUSE. Rosalie looks up quickly,
thinking that this must be Roland. Mammy starts for the door
but Rosalie tells her she will answer the bell, and she runs
out into hall.

25. HALLWAY COLONEL BIRD'S HOUSE. Rosalie runs to the door and
opens it.

26. EXTERIOR COLONEL BIRD'S HOUSE. Rosalie opens the door, and
Roland rushes in.

27. HALLWAY COLONEL BIRD'S HOUSE. Roland, full of excitement,
grabs Rosalie, shows her the article in the newspaper.

INSERT--Article in newspaper stating that Colonel Bird has been
appointed Consul of Bunkonia and that he is to leave for
there immediately with his daughter and his Secretary, James
Conwell.

Roland asks Rosalie if this is true. Rosalie nods her head
sadly, says that it is and

SP: "I DIDN'T KNOW A THING ABOUT IT MYSELF UNTIL THIS
MORNING."

Roland protests that she can't go away and leave him, and
Rosalie asks what she can do and says that her father has
waited for this all his life and insists on taking her along.
Roland asks where her father is, she points into parlor, and
Roland tells her that he will see about whether she will be
taken away or not, and full of worry, rushes into the parlor
followed by Rosalie.

28. PARLOR COLONEL BIRD'S HOUSE. Colonel Bird is helping mammy
pack and Roland rushes in followed by Rosalie. He goes to the
Colonel and protests against taking his fiancée away from him.
He puts his arm around Rosalie and says that he wants to marry
her now and keep her. The Colonel can't see this at all, and
says:

SP: "IF YOU MARRY NOW, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SUPPORT HER?"

Rosalie turns to Roland and says that is the trouble--that her
father won't let her stay there and marry him because he can't
support her. Roland then turns to the Colonel and says:

SP: "BUT, COLONEL, IN ANOTHER MONTH EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT!"

Rosalie seconds the motion and tries to persuade her father
that everything will be all right, but her father shakes his
head, looks grimly at Roland and says:

SP: "THAT'S WHAT CLEVELAND SAID TO ME IN '89."

Roland looks discouraged and realizes that he is up against a
hard proposition in the old Colonel, but tries to explain that
if they can just struggle along for a month he will have
millions, but the Colonel says:

SP: "WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR INHERITANCE RIGHT IN YOUR HAND, COME DOWN
TO BUNKONIA AND GET HER."

Roland, much discouraged, still tries to argue with the old
boy, but he cuts him off and goes on about his work. Roland
then turns to Rosalie, who by this time is in tears. At
the sight of Rosalie's tears, Roland forgets his own
disappointment, and putting his arm around her, leads her off
to a secluded corner out of sight of the old Colonel, seats
her and tries to comfort her, putting his arm around her and
saying:

SP: "THE FIRST OF APRIL IS MY BIRTHDAY. I GET MY INHERITANCE THAT
DAY AND I'LL START AT ONCE FOR BUNKONIA."

At once Rosalie looks up at him with her eyes full of tears
and smiles wanly. Roland takes her hand, wipes away her tears,
kisses her and says:

SP: "I'LL SEND YOU A CABLE EVERY DAY!"

At this Rosalie is greatly cheered up, she looks and says:
"Will you, dear?" and he assures her that he will and again
kisses her. (Fade out.)

T: THE AMERICAN CABLE COMPANY DID WELL THAT MONTH BUT LOOK WHAT
HAPPENED TO ROLAND'S HOUSE.

29. HALLWAY ROLAND'S HOUSE. (Fade in.)

View of hall without a piece of furniture, bric-a-brac or
pictures. (Dissolve out.)

30. LIBRARY ROLAND'S HOUSE. (Dissolve in.) View of Library
absolutely bare. (Dissolve out.)

31. ROLAND'S BEDROOM. (Dissolve in.) Bedroom has nothing in it but
one couch, one chair and a soap box on which are Roland's
mirror and toilet articles.

Roland is asleep on the couch. Presently Briggs enters, looks
about at the devastated room, then shaking his head over the
laziness of his master, goes over, wakes Roland up and says:

SP: "I WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SIR."

Roland wakes up, looks at him, rubs his eyes, realizes that
his probation is over. Tom enters smiling with a telegram in
his hand which he gives to Roland who opens it and reads:

INSERT--TELEGRAM.

New York, March 31, 1920. "Arrive Washington four-forty
to-morrow, April first, to deliver inheritance.
HOWE-GREENE."

Roland jumps out of bed, goes over and claps Briggs on the
back and shakes hands with him--then shakes hands with Tom.
Then makes Briggs and Tom shake hands. Tells them both he's
going to have loads of money and they will be paid. Roland
then goes over to his soap box on which is a calendar. He
looks at page marked "March 31." Tears it off and looks at
page marked "April 1."

He tears off the page with a flourish which reads March 31st,
turns it over, and, sitting on the floor, writes on the back
of it. Tom in the meantime sends Briggs for his breakfast and
gets out Roland's clothes, brushing them with great gusto.
Roland finishes writing and reads what he has written.

INSERT--WHAT ROLAND IS WRITING.

"Miss Rosalie Bird, Santo Grafto, Bunkonia. At last the great
day is here. Lord Howe-Greene arrives to-day with my
inheritance. Leave for Bunkonia to-morrow to claim you as my
bride. Roland."

He reads it and tells Tom to send it. Tom takes the message.
Scratches his head and looks around the room for something to
hock. Roland wants to know why he's hesitating, and he tells
him. Roland then says:

SP: "TAKE THE COUCH!"

Tom looks at the couch dubiously, then looks at Roland and
says: "Where are you going to sleep to-night?" Roland, in an
extravagant manner and with a grand flourish, tells him to
take it away.

SP: "I WON'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP TO-NIGHT ANYWAY!"

Tom goes over, picks up the couch and starts out of the room
with it. At the door, Roland stops him, picks up the one
remaining chair, hands it over to him and says:

SP: "CABLE HER SOME ROSES WITH THIS!"

Tom takes the chair, starts for the door when he suddenly
thinks of the fact that Lord Howe-Greene is due that morning,
so he stops, turns to Roland and says:

SP: "WHAT DAT LORD HOWE-GREENE TO SIT ON WHEN HE COMES?"

Roland says that's right, so he leaves the chair and starts
out with the couch. Briggs in the meantime has entered with
Roland's breakfast. Puts breakfast on soap box. Roland tells
him to put the chair down in the hall. Briggs doleful. Roland
slaps him on the back--tells him to cheer up. Briggs goes out
shaking his head and Roland sits on chair and starts his
breakfast all smiles. (Fade out.)

T: THE NEW MILLIONAIRE.

32. FRONT OF ROLAND'S HOUSE. (Fade in.) Roland's taxi drives up
and stops, followed by Tom's. Roland and Lord Howe-Greene
with portfolio get out. Tom also gets out with bags.
Howe-Greene starts up walk. Tom stops Roland and shows him
three cents--all he has and whispers to him, saying:

SP: "HOW DO I PAY THE TAXI?"

Roland signifying that he can't be annoyed with such little
things, says grandiloquently:

SP: "TELL THEM TO WAIT!"

He follows Lord Howe-Greene up the walk while Tom goes to the
taxis and tells them to wait. Then he follows with bags.

33. RECEPTION HALL ROLAND'S HOUSE.

It is perfectly bare. Briggs is just coming down the stairs
carrying the one chair that is left, he puts it down, looks
around at the bare hall, shakes his head sadly, dusts off the
one chair, then looks up quickly at hearing bell ring, goes
over to the door.

34. FRONT OF ROLAND'S HOUSE.

Briggs opens the door and lets Roland and Lord Howe-Greene in
followed by Tom with bags.

35. HALLWAY ROLAND'S HOUSE.

Roland and Lord Howe-Greene enter, followed by Tom and Briggs.
Briggs is delighted to see the old Englishman but is terribly
chagrined at the condition of the house. He takes Lord
Howe-Greene's coat and hat, and Roland engages Lord
Howe-Greene in talking, then motions to Tom to get the chair
into the library. Tom sneaks the chair around behind Lord
Howe-Greene and into the library.

36. LIBRARY.

Tom sneaks the chair in, puts it down near the fireplace.

37. HALLWAY ROLAND'S HOUSE.

Roland noticing that Tom has the chair placed, escorts Lord
Howe-Greene into the library with a grand flourish.

38. LIBRARY.

Tom is standing behind the chair. Lord Howe-Greene and Roland
enter. Tom seats Lord Howe-Greene very ceremoniously in the
chair. Lord Howe-Greene looks around the empty room and is
astounded. He turns to Roland and says: "_I say, old fellow,
the place looks rather beastly bare? Where's the furniture?_"

Roland thinks for a moment, looks at Tom; Tom does some quick
heavy thinking and finally says, very graciously:

SP: "WE SENT THE FURNITURE OUT TO BE CLEANED IN HONOR OF YOUR
COMING."

Roland smiles in relief and in approval of Tom, and then says:

SP: "THE CLEANERS ARE ON STRIKE SO THEY DIDN'T GET IT DONE IN
TIME."

Lord Howe-Greene blandly accepts the explanation and thanks
him for his thoughtfulness. Roland, who has been fondling the
portfolio, can hardly wait for it to be opened, and he gives
it to Lord Howe-Greene and then goes and stands by the mantel
with Tom. Lord Howe-Greene fishes out the papers, finally
comes to the will and starts to read the glad news. He reads
for a moment and then

INSERT--"That providing said Roland Stone has carried out
previous instructions of the will, his father provides as
follows:"

Roland, overcome with impatience, begins to get even more
interested. Lord Howe-Greene clears his throat and goes on
reading:

INSERT--"I bequeath to my son, Roland Stone, one unencumbered
position in the Anglo-American Insurance Co. as soliciting
agent with a guarantee of $25.00 per week."

Roland looks in astonishment at Lord Howe-Greene as does also
Tom. Lord Howe-Greene clears his throat again and goes on
reading:

INSERT--"If at the end of one year, the business said Roland Stone
procures for the company has proven profitable, the same will
be a proof of his good business judgment, and he is then to
come into possession of my entire fortune."

Roland stares simply open-mouthed in astonishment and
disappointment, while Tom can hardly believe his ears.

INSERT--"If on the other hand, the company at the end of one year
has suffered a loss through the agency of said Roland Stone,
my entire fortune shall be given to the support of the
Washington Home for Incurables."

Roland, absolutely dumbfounded by the news, stares at Lord
Howe-Greene, then looks around at Tom. Tom looks at Roland
accusingly.

Roland then turns in discouragement and asks Lord Howe-Greene
if there's any more. Lord Howe-Greene goes on reading:

INSERT--"It is further provided that conditions under which said
Roland Stone is to work, shall be subject to the approval of
Lord Howe-Greene."

Roland is utterly unable to take all of this in, and he
insists on reading it himself. Lord Howe-Greene hands it to
him, and Roland starts in to read it as though he could hardly
believe his eyes. Tom looks over his shoulder, and, finally
disgusted with the whole proceeding, he goes over toward the
window, stands there dejectedly and looks out.

39. STREET IN FRONT OF ROLAND'S HOUSE. Flash of the two taxis waiting,
taken from an angle of the house.

40. LIBRARY ROLAND'S HOUSE. Tom receives a terrible shock on seeing
the taxis and realizing that they can't pay them. He then goes
over to Roland, and tells him that the two taxis are out
there, eating their heads off. Roland looks out toward the
window, thinks about the taxis, then looks over to Lord
Howe-Greene, who is sitting comfortably in the last chair,
thinks a moment, then goes over to Lord Howe-Greene, excuses
himself, takes the chair from under the utterly flabbergasted
Lord Howe-Greene, gives it to Tom and tells him to take it out
to pay the taxis. Tom takes the chair and goes out, Lord
Howe-Greene looking after him in wide-eyed astonishment.
Roland then turns to Lord Howe-Greene and starts in to protest
about the conditions of the will, but Lord Howe-Greene tells
him that there is nothing that he can do. He takes the papers
from Roland. Sits on window sill (especially built) and starts
in to read the long document to Roland. Roland trying to
follow Howe-Greene gets disgusted, leans against wall and at
length slips to floor and sits there disconsolate, thinking of
his rotten luck and of the girl away off with his rival.
(Dissolve out.)

41. STUDIO GARDEN IN BUNKONIA. (Dissolve in.) Rosalie sitting in a
hammock with Conwell standing near her, natives playing ukuleles,
fanning them and giving them ice drinks, and Conwell whispering
sweet nothings in Rosalie's ear. (Dissolve out.)

42. LIBRARY ROLAND'S HOUSE. (Dissolve in.) Roland, sitting in the
corner, very much distressed by the vision he has just seen.

Lord Howe-Greene is still sitting on window sill reading
document. Roland gives him a dirty look, puts his hands on his
ears and at length jumps up and stalks out into the hall,
leaving Howe-Greene still reading.

43. HALLWAY--ROLAND'S HOUSE. Roland rushes in from library, looks
back disgusted at Howe-Greene, who is still reading. At this
moment Tom enters from street, goes to Roland, looks at him
despondently, and says: "_What are we going to do now?_"
Roland puts his hand on Tom's shoulder, and says with great
emphasis:

SP: "LOOK HERE, TOM, YOU'VE GOT TO THINK OF SOME WAY TO GET ME TO
ROSALIE!"

Tom thinks a moment, finally his face brightens and he says:

SP: "IF YOU'VE GOT TO SELL INSURANCE, WHY NOT SELL IT IN
BUNKONIA?"

Roland is delighted at this, and tells Tom he knew he'd think
up a way out--that they can start for Bunkonia to-morrow just
as they had planned. Tom says of course they can. Roland says
they will put it up to Lord Howe-Greene at once and they go
into the library.

44. LIBRARY, ROLAND'S HOUSE.

Lord Howe-Greene still sitting reading. Roland and Tom enter,
see him, and stop, both disgusted. Howe-Greene finishes his
reading. Gets up and goes to them--gives Roland the document,
tells him it is very important for him to keep it safe. Roland
puts it in his pocket then turns to Howe-Greene and says:

SP: "I'VE BEEN THINKING THINGS OVER, AND I'VE DECIDED THAT IF I
HAVE TO SELL INSURANCE, I WOULD LIKE VERY MUCH TO GET AWAY
FROM WASHINGTON."

Lord Howe-Greene indicates that he understands his feelings in
the matter, thinks a moment and says:

SP: "I HAVE IT! YOU SHALL TRY NEW YORK."

Roland looks at him in utter astonishment and says he is
surprised that Lord Howe-Greene would suggest such a terrible
place to sell insurance. He then turns to Tom and Tom agrees
with him. Roland then says to Lord Howe-Greene,

SP: "NEW YORK WOULD NEVER DO! IT'S A TERRIBLE PLACE FOR INSURANCE!"

Lord Howe-Greene is interested, and wants to know why, and
Roland goes on saying:

SP: "WHY THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ARE KILLED THERE DAILY!"

Lord Howe-Greene is tremendously interested and surprised and
wants to know how. Roland then goes on to describe the
terrible life that New Yorkers lead and we fade out.

INSERT--Animated Cartoon of subway entrance--people pushing their
way madly into the subway.

_Interior of subway car._ Animated Cartoon. Conductor is
packing people in, smashing them in so they can hardly breathe
and mashing them against the wall so that they collapse. He
hammers others on the head with mallets to get them to move
back. Everybody about him is mashed flat but still he pushes
more in. (Fade out.)

Roland concludes his story about the terrible life in New York
and Lord Howe-Greene greatly surprised at this says:

SP: "MY WORD!"

Roland appeals to Tom for confirmation and Tom nods his head
and says that he hasn't heard the half of it. Lord Howe-Greene
shakes his head, thinks a moment and says:

SP: "THEN YOU SHALL TRY CHICAGO!"

Roland is surprised at his suggesting Chicago, shakes his
head, and says:

SP: "CHICAGO IS WORSE. PEOPLE ARE BLOWN TO DEATH IN CHICAGO BY
MILLIONS!"

He turns to Tom and Tom confirms this and Lord Howe-Greene,
extremely puzzled and surprised, wants to know how. Roland
then goes on to describe a scene of how people are blown to
death in Chicago, along Michigan Avenue. (Fade out.)

INSERT--Animated Cartoon. (Fade in.) Michigan Avenue. People are
being blown down the Avenue and slammed up against walls where
they mash out flat. Some of them are blown over and over and
some of them are rolling like barrels. (Fade out.)

Roland finishes his tale about Chicago, and Tom agrees with
him, shaking his head and saying: "It is indeed a terrible
sight to see this thing that Roland just described!" Lord
Howe-Greene shows great distress, and shakes his head again
and exclaims:

SP: "MY WORD!"

Roland looks over at Tom and gives him a wink. Tom gives
Roland the high sign and the two of them feel that things are
going fine when suddenly Lord Howe-Greene scratches his head
and gets a brilliant idea. He then tells Roland that he has
just the place for him and says:

SP: "I HAVE A COUSIN--A REAL ESTATE AGENT IN LOS ANGELES--WHO
WRITES ME THAT THE CLIMATE IS SO SALUBRIOUS THAT EVERY ONE
LIVES TO A RIPE OLD AGE."

Roland looks at Lord Howe-Greene in astonishment, feeling that
he has been stuck at last. Lord Howe-Greene then pats him on
the shoulder and says:

SP: "THAT'S THE PLACE FOR YOU, MY BOY!"

Roland looks genuinely alarmed and turns to Tom for aid, but
Tom himself is pretty much stumped at this. Lord Howe-Greene
feeling that their problem has been settled, says that that's
exactly the place and everything will be fine. Roland stalls,
does some quick, heavy thinking, finally gets an idea, and
says: "Lord Howe-Greene, that's exactly where you're wrong."

SP: "THE TROUBLE OUT THERE IS THAT PEOPLE NEVER DIE. THEY WON'T
BUY INSURANCE!"

Roland is rather pleased with himself for thinking up this and
Tom congratulates him on it, smiling his approbation. Lord
Howe-Greene can hardly believe this angle of the situation,
says he doesn't think that's possible. Roland, realizing that
he has got to spike this says:

SP: "WHY, I TRIED TO SELL INSURANCE OUT THERE ONCE AND WHAT DO YOU
THINK HAPPENED?"

Lord Howe-Greene is interested and wants to know what did
happen to him. Tom looks rather quizzically at Roland, feeling
that he is getting out beyond his depth. Roland clears his
throat and starts in to describe what happened. (Fade out.)

45. FRONT OF BUNGALOW IN LOS ANGELES. (Fade in.)

Three men with white whiskers to their waist are playing
leap-frog on the lawn. Roland comes down the street,
approaches one with an insurance circular in his hand and asks
if he could interest him in some insurance. The old fellow
says:

SP: "NO, I DON'T WANT ANY INSURANCE, BUT YOU MIGHT SEE PA."

Roland is surprised that a man of his age should have a father
and asks where he is. The old fellow points to the front door
of the bungalow and says:

SP: "HE'S HELPING GRANDPA CARRY THE PIANO UP IN GRANDMA'S
ROOM."

Roland can hardly believe his ears at this and says: "What?"
The old man nods and says:

SP: "YES, GRANDMA IS GOING TO TAKE MUSIC LESSONS."

Roland looks aghast at the old man who goes back to his
leap-frog, and finally coming to, goes up to the house and
rings the bell while the three old boys continue their
leap-frog. Presently a youthful looking Jap with long, white
whiskers opens the door. Roland asks for the father and is
shown in.

46. HALLWAY LOS ANGELES BUNGALOW. Roland enters with the Jap
servant. Pa and Grandpa--one with whiskers to the knees and
one with whiskers to the ankles--are lifting a piano up the
stairs. Roland approaches pa and asks him if he could interest
him in insurance. Pa holds the piano with one hand, with the
other takes the young man's circular and looks at it. He then
shakes his head no, turns to grandpa and says: "Father, do you
want any insurance?" Grandpa asks to see the circular and Pa
hands it up to him. Grandpa looks at it a minute, then looks
at Roland, shakes his head and says:

SP: "I THINK NOT, SON. I CAN LOOK AFTER MY FAMILY FOR A FEW YEARS
YET, AND BY THAT TIME THEY'LL BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF
THEMSELVES."

He hands the circular back to Roland and he and Pa pick up the
piano and go on upstairs, Roland looking after them in
absolute amazement. (Fade out.)

47. LIBRARY, ROLAND'S HOUSE. (Fade in.) Roland finishes his story
about Los Angeles. Turns to Tom who confirms everything he has
said. Lord Howe-Greene, shaking his head in amazement over
these extraordinary conditions in America, says very weakly--

SP: "MY WORD" (in very small type).

And Lord Howe-Greene is very much distressed. He feels that
this case is baffling him. He finally looks up hopelessly and
asks Roland what they're going to do. Roland, puzzled, turns
to Tom and asks him what he thinks of the situation. Tom
thinks a moment, finally gets an idea, turns to Lord
Howe-Greene and says:

SP: "IF YOU COULD ONLY GET HIM TO GO DOWN TO BUNKONIA."

Roland pooh-poohs this idea and says no, he never would, he
couldn't go there because it is too far away. But Tom goes on
into raptures about Bunkonia, telling him what a marvelous
place it is for business of all kinds, and Lord Howe-Greene,
glad of some solution to his problem, finally jumps at the
idea--turns to Roland and says:

SP: "THAT'S AN IDEA! NEW COUNTRY--VIRGIN FIELD--IT'S JUST THE PLACE
FOR YOU!"

Roland thinks a minute as though he had to be convinced, but
Lord Howe-Greene keeps on begging him to take a chance. Tom
joins Lord Howe-Greene in urging him, and finally Roland
allows himself to be persuaded, decides that he will go, Lord
Howe-Greene shakes him warmly by the hand and--(fade out).

T: SANTO GRAFTO, CAPITOL OF BUNKONIA, THE BEAUTIFUL LAND OF SUNSHINE
AND FLOWERS, MUSIC AND LAUGHTER, TAMALES, TYPHOID AND PTOMAINE.

48. EXTERIOR VIEW OF TOWN OF SANTO GRAFTO. (Fade in.) Showing
natives, equipages, a few soldiers, etc. (Dissolve out.)

49. PARK (dissolve in) SINGERS, DANCERS, MUSICIANS, FLOWER SELLERS,
CHILDREN, ETC. (Dissolve out.)

T: KING CARAMBA AND HIS COUNCIL ENGAGED IN THEIR FAVORITE INDOOR
SPORT OF RAISING TAXES AND DOWNING LIQUOR.

50. THE KING'S COUNCIL CHAMBER. Caramba sitting at the head of the
table with three councilors on his right and three on his
left--among them being Enrico. Some servants in livery are
standing about. One of the councilors has just finished
reading the text of a bill to raise the taxes. King Caramba is
sound asleep with a bottle in his hand. Enrico, the only sober
one in the lot, is looking in a sinister, calculating way
around the table. The councilor who is reading the bill sways
as he reads and the paper jiggles in his hand.

51. INSERT PAPER RAISING TAXES. The councilor finishes reading, puts
paper in front of King and guides his hand while he signs it.

INSERT--King's hand is signing the paper--it wanders all over the
paper so that most of the name is written on the table with a
grand flourish at the end. After signing the paper, the king
takes another drink. The man takes the paper and blows on it.
Enrico, with a sinister smile, gets up and starts to go. The
Councilor takes the paper, waves it aloft to the other
councilors who cheer in a drunken manner. They all pour out
another bumper, Enrico stands by the doorway in a calculating
manner, then smiling a satisfied smile, he turns on his heel
and leaves. (Fade out.)

T: THE REVOLUTIONISTS AWAIT THEIR LEADER AT THEIR RENDEZVOUS IN THE
RUE DE STILETTO.

52. REVOLUTIONISTS' RENDEZVOUS. (Fade in.) A number of revolutionary
leaders are there, including the Countess, Conwell, the
General and two men in citizen's clothes. They are discussing
matters more or less violently and waiting for Enrico.

53. RENDEZVOUS AT GATE. Enrico enters, looks about stealthily,
sees that no one is watching and then wraps three times on the
gate. The gate is opened by a villainous servant and Enrico
enters.

54. REVOLUTIONISTS' RENDEZVOUS. The revolutionists are still
talking together and they see Enrico entering. They gather
about him to get the news and Enrico says:

SP: "THEY WERE _ALL_ DRUNK TO-NIGHT. IT WILL SOON BE TIME TO STRIKE."

They all rejoice at this. Enrico asks the General about the
army and he replies:

SP: "TWO HUNDRED OF THE ARMY ARE WITH US NOW. IT WILL TAKE A HUNDRED
PESETAS TO WIN OVER THE OTHER FIFTY."

Enrico is very angry at this, and asks him what he means by a
hundred pesetas, and is very sore at the tremendous cost at
buying these men. The Countess stops his raving, putting her
finger over his lips, goes into her stocking, takes out the
money and gives the General two bills, which amount to more
than he has asked for. He then turns to Conwell and starts in
to talk. The General puts the money in his pocket but Enrico
notices him and says:

SP: "HERE! HERE! GIVE US THE CHANGE!"

Reluctantly the General digs it up, starts to pass it over to
the Countess but Enrico stops him before the Countess notices,
grabs the money and puts it in his own pocket. Enrico then
crosses over to Conwell and says:

SP: "ARE YOU SURE WE CAN HANDLE OLD BIRD WHEN WE'RE READY?"

Conwell tells him it's the easiest thing in the world, that
the old man has got to do just what he says and winds up with:

SP: "DIDN'T I GET HIM THIS JOB?"

They all seem satisfied with this and go on plotting. (Fade
out.)

T: ON THE EDGE OF THIS POLITICAL VOLCANO SITS OUR OLD FRIEND,
COLONEL BIRD, AT PEACE WITH ALL THE WORLD IN THE FULLNESS OF
HIS IGNORANCE.

55. COLONEL BIRD'S ROOM IN THE CONSULATE. (Dissolve in.)
Colonel Bird is sitting at his desk reading a political book.
Mammy is straightening room and dusting. Rosalie enters
dressed for the street. She goes to the Colonel, looks over
his shoulder, tells him that he works too hard, makes him
promise he will get some rest and kisses him good-by and goes
out.