Chapter C: B. Newcomb (4)

"Our Lord not only _told_ men that they were the children of God, that they should strive after their Father's likeness, and that they might approach nearer and nearer to being perfect as He is perfect: but, what was more than this, in every word He spake,--whether of teaching, or reproof, or expostulation, or in His passing words to those who received His mercies,--He _treated_ them as God's children. Man, as man, has in His eyes a right to respect. Anger we find with our Lord often, as also surprise at slowness of heart, indignation at hypocrisy, and at the Rabbinical evasions of the Law; but never in our Lord's words or looks do we find personal disdain. Towards no human being does He show contempt. The scribe would have trodden the rabble out of existence; but there is no such thing as rabble in our Lord's eyes. The master, in the parable, asks concerning the tree, which is unproductively exhausting the soil, why cumbers it the ground; but it is not to be rooted up, till all has been tried. There it stands, and mere existence gives it claims, for all that exists is the Father's."

_Pastor Pastorum_, HENRY LATHAM.

"Tennyson was very grand on contemptuousness. It was, he said, a sure sign of intellectual littleness. Simply to despise, nearly always meant not to understand. Pride and contempt were specially characteristic of barbarians. Real civilisation taught human beings to understand each other better, and must therefore lessen contempt. It is a little or immature or uneducated mind which readily despises. One who has travelled and knows the world in its length and breadth, respects far more views and standpoints other than his own."

_Tennyson--A Memoir_, by his Son.

False Impressions

JULY 1

"There are thousands and thousands of little untruths that hum and buzz and sting in society, which are too small to be brushed or driven away. They are in the looks, they are in the inflections and tones of the voice, they are in the actions, they are in reflections rather than in direct images that are represented. They are methods of producing impressions that are false, though every means by which they are produced is strictly true. There are little unfairnesses between man and man, that are said to be minor matters and that are small things; there are little unjust judgments and detractions; there are petty violations of conscience; there are ten thousand of these flags of passions in men which are called foibles or weaknesses, but which eat like moths. They take away the temper, they take away magnanimity and generosity, they take from the soul its enamel and its polish. Men palliate and excuse them, but that has nothing to do with their natural effect on us. They waste and destroy us, and that, too, in the soul's silent and hidden parts."

HENRY WARD BEECHER.

"A lie which is half a truth
Is ever the blackest of lies."

TENNYSON.

Truth

JULY 2

"Truth is the great mark at which we ought to aim in all things--truth in thought, truth in expression, truth in work. Those who habitually sacrifice truth in small things will find it difficult to pay her the respect they should do in great things."

Lord IDDESLEIGH.

"Stand upright, speak thy thought, declare
The truth thou hast that all may share.
Be bold, proclaim it everywhere,
They only live who dare."

Sir LEWIS MORRIS.

"The mind can only repose upon the stability of truth."

Dr. JOHNSON.

Truthfulness

JULY 3

"Be profoundly honest. Never dare to say ... through ardent excitement or conformity to what you know you are expected to say, one word which at the moment when you say it, you do not believe. It would cut down the range of what you say, perhaps, but it would endow every word that was left with the force of ten."

PHILLIPS BROOKS.

"Be honest with yourself, whatever the temptation; say nothing to others that you do not think, and play no tricks with your own mind. Of all the evil spirits abroad at this hour in this world, insincerity is the most dangerous."

J. A. FROUDE.

"Truthfulness is the foundation of all personal excellence. It exhibits itself in conduct. It is rectitude, truth in action, and shines through every word and deed."

SAMUEL SMILES.

Accuracy

JULY 4

"We always weaken what we exaggerate."

LA HARPE.

"It is no great advantage to have a lively wit if exactness be wanting. The perfection of a clock does not consist in its going fast, but in its keeping good time."

VAUVENARGUES.

"After much vehement talk about 'the veracities,' will come utterly unveracious accounts of things and people--accounts made unveracious by the use of emphatic words where ordinary words alone are warranted: pictures of which the outlines are correct, but the lights and shades and colours are doubly and trebly as strong as they should be."

HERBERT SPENCER.

Truthfulness

JULY 5

"It takes two to speak truth--one to speak and another to hear."

THOREAU.

"Truth of intercourse is something more difficult than to refrain from open lies. It is possible to avoid falsehood and yet not tell the truth. It is not enough to answer formal questions. To reach the truth by yea and nay communications implies a questioner with a share of inspiration, such as is often found in mutual love. _Yea_ and _nay_ mean nothing; the meaning must have been related in the question. Many words are often necessary to convey a very simple statement; for in this sort of exercise we never hit the gold; the most that we can hope is by many arrows, more or less far off on different sides, to indicate, in the course of time, for what target we are aiming, and after an hour's talk, back and forward, to convey the purport of a single principle or a single thought."

_Virginibus Puerisque_, R. L. STEVENSON.

Truthfulness

JULY 6

"In very truth lying is a hateful and accursed vice. It is words alone that distinguish us from the brute creation, and knit us to each other. If we did but feel proper horror of it, and the fearful consequences that spring from such a habit, we would pursue it with fire and sword, and with far more justice than other crimes. I observe that parents take pleasure in correcting their children for slight faults, which make little impression on the character, and are of no real consequence. Whereas lying, in my opinion, and obstinacy, though in a less degree, are vices, the rise and progress of which ought to be particularly watched and counteracted; these grow with their growth, and when once the tongue has got a _wrong set, it is impossible to put it straight again_. Whence we see men, otherwise of honourable natures, slaves to this vice. If falsehood had, like truth, only one face, we should be on more equal terms with it, for we should consider the contrary to what the liar said as certain; but the reverse of truth has a hundred thousand forms, and is a field of boundless extent."

MONTAIGNE.

"Every violation of truth is not only a sort of suicide in the liar, but is a stab at the health of human society."

EMERSON.

Truthfulness

JULY 7

"The cruellest lies are often told in silence. A man may have sat in a room for hours and not opened his teeth, and yet come out of that room a disloyal friend or a vile calumniator. And how many loves have perished because, from pride, or spite, or diffidence, or that unmanly shame which withholds a man from daring to betray emotion, a lover, at the critical point of the relation, has but hung his head and held his tongue? And, again, a lie may be told by a truth, or a truth conveyed through a lie. Truth to facts is not always truth to sentiment; and part of the truth, as often happens in answer to a question, may be the foulest calumny. A fact may be an exception; but the feeling is the law, and it is that which you must neither garble nor belie. The whole tenor of a conversation is a part of the meaning of each separate statement; the beginning and the end define and travesty the intermediate conversation. You never speak to God; you address a fellow-man, full of his own tempers: and to tell truth, rightly understood, is not to state the true facts, but to convey a true impression; truth in spirit, not truth to letter, is the true veracity."

_Virginibus Puerisque_, R. L. STEVENSON.

"Truth is violated by falsehood, and it may be equally outraged by silence."

AMMAN.

Gossip

JULY 8

"Gossip is a beast of prey that does not wait for the death of the creature it devours."

_Diana of the Crossways_, G. MEREDITH.

"Give to a gracious message
A host of tongues; but let ill tidings tell
Themselves when they be felt."

SHAKESPEARE.

"Let evil words die as soon as they're spoken."

GEORGE ELIOT.

"If there is much art in speaking, there is no less in keeping silence. There is an eloquent silence; it serves to praise and to condemn: there is a scornful silence: and there is a respectful silence."

LA ROCHEFOUCAULD.

Back-biting

JULY 9

"Hear as little as you possibly can to the prejudice of others; believe nothing of the kind unless you are forced to believe it; never circulate, nor approve of those who circulate, loose reports; moderate as far as you can the censure of others; always believe that if the other side were heard a very different account would be given of the matter."

_Everyday Christian Life_, Dean FARRAR.

"We must be as courteous to a man as we are to a picture, which we are willing to give the advantage of a good light."

EMERSON.

"Refrain your tongue from back-biting; for there is no word so secret that shall go for nought, and the mouth that belieth, slayeth the soul."

WISDOM i. 2.

Gossip

JULY 10

"When people run about to disseminate some scrap of news which they alone possess, the result is not usually beneficial either to character or to mind."

_Pastor Pastorum_, HENRY LATHAM.

"Slander meets with no regard from noble minds,
Only the base believe what the base only utter."

"No word, once spoken, returneth
Even if uttered unwillingly--
Shall God excuse our rashness?
That which is done, that abides."

CHARLES KINGSLEY.

Egotism

July 11

"Above all things, let us avoid speaking too often about ourselves, and referring to our own experiences. Nothing is more disagreeable than a man who is constantly quoting himself."

LA ROCHEFOUCAULD.

"The pest of society is egotists."

EMERSON.

"Avoid the personal view, the small view, the critical and fault-finding view. Run away from gossip as from a pestilence, and keep in your soul great ideals and ideals to solace your solitude. They will drive out petty worries, conceits and thoughts of carking care."

ADA C. SWEET.

Conversation

JULY 12

"The etiquette of conversation consists as much in listening politely as in talking agreeably."

H. A.

"The reason why so few persons are agreeable in conversation is that every one thinks more about what he shall say than about what others are saying, and because one cannot well be a good listener when one is eager to speak."

LA ROCHEFOUCAULD.

"I am an enemy to long explanations; they deceive either the maker or the hearer, generally both."

GOETHE.

Conversation

JULY 13

"The tone of good conversation is flowing and natural; it is neither heavy nor frivolous; it is learned without pedantry, lively without noise, polished without equivocation. It is neither made up of lectures nor epigrams. Those who really converse, reason without arguing, joke without punning, skilfully unite wit and reason, maxims and sallies, ingenious raillery and severe morality. They speak of everything in order that every one may have something to say: they do not investigate too closely, for fear of wearying: questions are introduced as if by-the-bye, and are treated with rapidity; precision leads to elegance, each one giving his opinion, and supporting it with few words. No one attacks wantonly another's opinion, no one supports his own obstinately. They discuss in order to enlighten themselves, and leave off discussing where dispute would begin: every one gains information, every one recreates himself, and all go away contented; nay, the sage himself may carry away from what he has heard matter worthy of silent meditation."

Argument

JULY 14

"Argument is always a little dangerous. It often leads to coolness and misunderstandings. You may gain your argument and lose your friend, which is probably a bad bargain. If you must argue, admit all you can, but try to show that some point has been overlooked. Very few people know when they have had the worst of an argument, and if they do, they do not like it. Moreover, if they know they are beaten, it does not follow that they are convinced. Indeed it is perhaps hardly going too far to say that it is very little use trying to convince any one by argument. State your case as clearly and concisely as possible, and if you shake his confidence in his own opinion it is as much as you can expect. It is the first step gained."

Lord AVEBURY.

"Speak fitly, or be silent wisely."

GEORGE HERBERT.

"After speech silence is the greatest power in the world."

LACORDAIRE.

"It is better to remain silent than to speak the truth ill-humouredly, and so spoiling an excellent dish by covering it with bad sauce."

ST. FRANCIS DE SALES.

Argument

JULY 15

"When opposition of any kind is necessary, drop all colour of emotion out of it and let it be seen in the white light of truth."

"Nothing does reason more right than the coolness of those that offer it: For truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than from the arguments of its opposers."

WILLIAM PENN.

"Be calm in arguing: for fierceness makes
Error a fault, and truth discourtesy."

GEORGE HERBERT.

"To speak wisely may not always be easy, but not to speak ill requires only silence."

Argument

JULY 16

"Prejudice is opinion without judgment."

"When a positive Man hath once begun to dispute anything, his Mind is barred up against all Light and better Information. Opposition provokes him, though there be never so good Ground for it, and he seems to be afraid of nothing more, than lest he should be convinced of the Truth."

LA ROCHEFOUCAULD.

"In proportion as we love truth more and victory less, we shall become anxious to know what it is which leads our opponents to think as they do. We shall begin to suspect that the pertinacity of belief exhibited by them must result from a perception of something we have not perceived. And we shall aim to supplement the portion of truth we have found with the portion found by them."

HERBERT SPENCER.

An Open Mind

JULY 17

"He often thought that Dr. Arnold's maxim of being prepared each morning to consider everything an open question a good working rule. Not that one should readily change one's opinions, but should always have an open mind, never a closed one, on any question outside exact knowledge."

"He that never changed any of his opinions, never corrected any of his mistakes; and he who was never wise enough to find out any mistakes in himself, will not be charitable enough to excuse what he reckons mistakes in others."

WHICHCOTE.

"Narrow-mindedness is a cause of self-sufficiency. We are slow to believe what is beyond the scope of our vision."

LA ROCHEFOUCAULD.

Tolerance

JULY 18

"Nothing, in our Lord's wisdom, strikes me more than His moderation with regard to error. What seems false to one man's mind may be true to that of another."

_Pastor Pastorum_, HENRY LATHAM.

"A genuine universal tolerance is most surely attained, if we do not quarrel with the peculiar characteristics of individual men and races, but only hold fast to the conviction, that what is truly excellent is distinguished by its belonging to all mankind."

GOETHE _to_ CARLYLE.

"New ideas want a little time to grow into shape: we know how easily a man is startled into shutting his mind against novelty when it is suddenly presented."

_Pastor Pastorum_, HENRY LATHAM.

Right Use of Speech

JULY 19

"There is no better way, I believe, in which to test the reality of our culture than by the self-discipline it teaches us to use in talk; and it may be that the chief service we can render, the chief outcome that God looks for from our higher education, is that in our homes, in the society around us, we should set a higher example of the right use of speech; the right tone and temper and reticence in conversation; the abhorrence of idle words. Neither let us think that this ever will be easy to us. We must not be affected or pedantic, we must not be always setting other people right; but we must be careful; we must keep our wishes and passions from colouring our view of things; we must take great pains to enter into the minds and feelings of others, to understand how things look to them, and we must remember that, whatever pains we take in that regard, the result is still sure to be imperfect; we must rule our moods, our likes and dislikes, with a firm hand; we must distrust our general impressions till we have frankly, faithfully examined them; we must resist the desire to say clever or surprising things; we must be resolute not to overstate our case; we must let nothing pass our lips that charity would check; we must be always ready to confess our ignorance, and to be silent.--Yes, it is a hard and long task; but it is for a high end, and in a noble service. It is that we may be able to help others; to possess our souls in days of confusion and vehemence and controversy; to grow in the rare grace of judgment; to be such that people may trust us, whether they agree with us or not. It is that we may somewhat detach ourselves from the stream of talk, and learn to listen for the voice of God, and to commit our ways to Him."

_Studies in the Christian Character_, Bishop PAGET.

Thoughts

JULY 20

"If we are not responsible for the thoughts that pass our doors, we are at least responsible for those we admit and entertain."

CHARLES B. NEWCOMB.

"The pleasantest things in the world are pleasant thoughts, and the great art in life is to have as many of them as possible."

BOVEE.

"We lose vigour through thinking continually the same set of thoughts. New thought is new life."

PRENTICE MULFORD.

Culture

JULY 21

"Culture is not an accident of birth, although our surroundings advance or retard it; it is always a matter of individual education."

HAMILTON W. MABIE.

"The secret of culture is to learn that a few great points steadily reappear, alike in the poverty of the obscurest farm, and in the miscellany of metropolitan life, and that these few are alone to be regarded:--the escape from all false ties; courage to be what we are; and the love of what is simple and beautiful,--these, and the wish to serve, to add somewhat to the well-being of men."

EMERSON.

"The highest we can attain to is not knowledge, but sympathy with intelligence."

THOREAU.

Courtesy

JULY 22

"Courtesy is really doing unto others as you would be done unto, and the heart of it lies in a careful consideration for the feelings of other people. It comes from putting one's self in his neighbour's place, and trying to enter into his mind, and it demands a certain suppression of one's self, and a certain delicate sympathy with one's neighbour."

Dr. JOHN WATSON.

"Even as one tries thus to think out the quality and work of courtesy, to understand the skill and power which it wields so quietly, to see the issues upon which it tells in the lives that are affected by it, one may begin to feel that its place is really with the great forces of character that ennoble and redeem the world; that, simply and lightly as it moves, it rests on deep self-discipline and deals with a real task; that it is far more than a decoration or luxury of leisurely excellence. But it is in contact with those who are growing perfect in it, those who never fail in it, that one may more nearly realise its greatness. In seeing how every part of life is lit and hallowed by it; how common incidents, daily duties, chance meetings, come to be avenues of brightness, and even means of grace; how points of light come quivering out upon the dull routine of business, or the conventionality of pleasure; how God is served through every hour of the day;--it is in seeing this that one may come to think it far from strange that for His beginning of miracles our Saviour chose an act of courtesy."

_Studies in the Christian Character_, Bishop PAGET.

Courtesy

JULY 23

"Courtesy. This is Love in society, Love in relation to etiquette. 'Love doth not behave itself unseemly.' Politeness has been defined as love in trifles. Courtesy is said to be love in little things. And the one secret of politeness is to love. Love _cannot_ behave itself unseemly."

_The Greatest Thing in the World_, HENRY DRUMMOND.

"The nearer you come into relation with a person, the more necessary do tact and courtesy become."

O. W. HOLMES.

"Kindness is the principle of tact, and respect for others the condition of 'savoir-vivre.'"

_Amiel's Journal._

"Life is not so short but that there is always time enough for courtesy."

EMERSON.

Courtesy

JULY 24

"True politeness arises from the heart, not the head."

"... The machinery of life is so apt to be heated, one keenly appreciates those who are ever deftly pouring in the cooling oil, by their patience and their tact, their sweetness and their sympathy. And one resents keenly that class of people who are honest and well meaning, but who are persistently discourteous and are not ashamed--I mean the man who is credited with what is called a bluff, blunt manner, and who credits himself with a special quality of downrightness and straightforwardness. He considers it far better to say what he thinks, and boasts that he never minces his words, and people make all kinds of excuses for him, and rather talk as if he were a very fine fellow, beside whom civil-spoken persons are little better than hypocrites. As a matter of fact, no one can calculate the pain this outspoken gentleman causes in a single day, both in his family and outside."

Dr. JOHN WATSON.

"There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the outward behaviour."

GOETHE.

Manners

JULY 25

"Manners are the happy ways of doing things. If they are superficial, so are the dew-drops, which give such a depth to the morning meadows."

EMERSON.

"Love's perfect blossom only blows
Where noble manners veil defect."