Chapter II: The Technic of the One-Act Play (4)

HYACINTH. [_Stamping._] I'll stop their mouths. I'll show them I can be a terror for badness. I'll do some injury. I'll commit some crime. The first thing I'll do I'll go and get drunk. If I never did it before I'll do it now. I'll get drunk--then I'll make an assault--I tell you I'd think as little of taking a life as of blowing out a candle.

FARDY. If you get drunk you are done for. Sure that will be held up after as an excuse for any breaking of the law.

HYACINTH. I will break the law. Drunk or sober, I'll break it. I'll do something that will have no excuse. What would you say is the worst crime that any man can do?

FARDY. I don't know. I heard the sergeant saying one time it was to obstruct the police in the discharge of their duty----

HYACINTH. That won't do. It's a patriot I would be then, worse than before, with my picture in the weeklies. It's a red crime I must commit that will make all respectable people quit minding me. What can I do? Search your mind now.

FARDY. It's what I heard the old people saying there could be no worse crime than to steal a sheep----

HYACINTH. I'll steal a sheep--or a cow--or a horse--if that will leave me the way I was before.

FARDY. It's maybe in jail it will leave you.

HYACINTH. I don't care--I'll confess--I'll tell why I did it--I give you my word I would as soon be picking oakum or breaking stones as to be perched in the daylight the same as that bird, and all the town chirruping to me or bidding me chirrup----

FARDY. There is reason in that, now.

HYACINTH. Help me, will you?

FARDY. Well, if it is to steal a sheep you want, you haven't far to go.

HYACINTH. [_Looking around wildly._] Where is it? I see no sheep.

FARDY. Look around you.

HYACINTH. I see no living thing but that thrush----

FARDY. Did I say it was living? What is that hanging on Quirke's rack?

HYACINTH. It's [_fingers it_] a sheep, sure enough----

FARDY. Well, what ails you that you can't bring it away?

HYACINTH. It's a dead one----

FARDY. What matter if it is?

HYACINTH. If it was living I could drive it before me----

FARDY. You could. Is it to your own lodging you would drive it? Sure every one would take it to be a pet you brought from Carrow.

HYACINTH. I suppose they might.

FARDY. Miss Joyce sending in for news of it and it bleating behind the bed.

HYACINTH. [_Distracted._] Stop! stop!

MRS. DELANE. [_From upper window._] Fardy! Are you there, Fardy Farrell?

FARDY. I am, ma'am.

MRS. DELANE. [_From window._] Look and tell me is that the telegraph I hear ticking?

FARDY. [_Looking in at door._] It is, ma'am.

MRS. DELANE. Then botheration to it, and I not dressed or undressed. Wouldn't you say, now, it's to annoy me it is calling me down. I'm coming! I'm coming! [_Disappears._

FARDY. Hurry on, now! Hurry! She'll be coming out on you. If you are going to do it, do it, and if you are not, let it alone.

HYACINTH. I'll do it! I'll do it!

FARDY. [_Lifting the sheep on his back._] I'll give you a hand with it.

HYACINTH. [_Goes a step or two and turns round._] You told me no place where I could hide it.

FARDY. You needn't go far. There is the church beyond at the side of the square. Go round to the ditch behind the wall--there's nettles in it.

HYACINTH. That'll do.

FARDY. She's coming out--run! run!

HYACINTH. [_Runs a step or two._] It's slipping!

FARDY. Hoist it up. I'll give it a hoist!

[HALVEY _runs out_.

MRS. DELANE. [_Calling out._] What are you doing, Fardy Farrell? Is it idling you are?

FARDY. Waiting I am, ma'am, for the message----

MRS. DELANE. Never mind the message yet. Who said it was ready? [_Going to door._] Go ask for the loan of--no, but ask news of--Here, now go bring that bag of Mr. Halvey's to the lodging Miss Joyce has taken----

FARDY. I will, ma'am. [_Takes bag and goes out._

MRS. DELANE. [_Coming out with a telegram in her hand._] Nobody here? [_Looks round and calls cautiously._] Mr. Quirke! Mr. Quirke! James Quirke!

MR. QUIRKE. [_Looking out of his upper window, with soap-suddy face._] What is it, Mrs. Delane?

MRS. DELANE. [_Beckoning._] Come down here till I tell you.

MR. QUIRKE. I cannot do that. I'm not fully shaved.

MRS. DELANE. You'd come if you knew the news I have.

MR. QUIRKE. Tell it to me now. I'm not so supple as I was.

MRS. DELANE. Whisper now, have you an enemy in any place?

MR. QUIRKE. It's likely I may have. A man in business----

MRS. DELANE. I was thinking you had one.

MR. QUIRKE. Why would you think that at this time more than any other time?

MRS. DELANE. If you could know what is in this envelope you would know that, James Quirke.

MR. QUIRKE. Is that so? And what, now, is there in it?

MRS. DELANE. Who do you think now is it addressed to?

MR. QUIRKE. How would I know that, and I not seeing it?

MRS. DELANE. That is true. Well, it is a message from Dublin Castle to the sergeant of police!

MR. QUIRKE. To Sergeant Carden, is it?

MRS. DELANE. It is. And it concerns yourself.

MR. QUIRKE. Myself, is it? What accusation can they be bringing against me? I'm a peaceable man.

MRS. DELANE. Wait till you hear.

MR. QUIRKE. Maybe they think I was in that moonlighting case----

MRS. DELANE. That is not it----

MR. QUIRKE. I was not in it--I was but in the neighboring field--cutting up a dead cow, that those never had a hand in----

MRS. DELANE. You're out of it----

MR. QUIRKE. They had their faces blackened. There is no man can say I recognized them.

MRS. DELANE. That's not what they're saying----

MR. QUIRKE. I'll swear I did not hear their voices or know them if I did hear them.

MRS. DELANE. I tell you it has nothing to do with that. It might be better for you if it had.

MR. QUIRKE. What is it, so?

MRS. DELANE. It is an order to the sergeant, bidding him immediately to seize all suspicious meat in your house. There is an officer coming down. There are complaints from the Shannon Fort Barracks.

MR. QUIRKE. I'll engage it was that pork.

MRS. DELANE. What ailed it for them to find fault?

MR. QUIRKE. People are so hard to please nowadays, and I recommended them to salt it.

MRS. DELANE. They had a right to have minded your advice.

MR. QUIRKE. There was nothing on that pig at all but that it went mad on poor O'Grady that owned it.

MRS. DELANE. So I heard, and went killing all before it.

MR. QUIRKE. Sure it's only in the brain madness can be. I heard the doctor saying that.

MRS. DELANE. He should know.

MR. QUIRKE. I give you my word I cut the head off it. I went to the loss of it, throwing it to the eels in the river. If they had salted the meat, as I advised them, what harm would it have done to any person on earth?

MRS. DELANE. I hope no harm will come on poor Mrs. Quirke and the family.

MR. QUIRKE. Maybe it wasn't that but some other thing----

MRS. DELANE. Here is Fardy. I must send the message to the sergeant. Well, Mr. Quirke, I'm glad I had the time to give you a warning.

MR. QUIRKE. I'm obliged to you, indeed. You were always very neighborly, Mrs. Delane. Don't be too quick now sending the message. There is just one article I would like to put away out of the house before the sergeant will come.

[_Enter_ FARDY.

MRS. DELANE. Here now, Fardy--that's not the way you're going to the barracks. Any one would think you were scaring birds yet. Put on your uniform.

[FARDY _goes into office_.

MRS. DELANE. You have this message to bring to the sergeant of police. Get your cap now; it's under the counter.

[FARDY _reappears, and she gives him telegram_.

FARDY. I'll bring it to the station. It's there he was going.

MRS. DELANE. You will not, but to the barracks. It can wait for him there.

[FARDY _goes off_. MR. QUIRKE _has appeared at door_.

MR. QUIRKE. It was indeed a very neighborly act, Mrs. Delane, and I'm obliged to you. There is just _one_ article to put out of the way. The sergeant may look about him then and welcome. It's well I cleared the premises on yesterday. A consignment to Birmingham I sent. The Lord be praised, isn't England a terrible country, with all it consumes?

MRS. DELANE. Indeed, you always treat the neighbors very decent, Mr. Quirke, not asking them to buy from you.

MR. QUIRKE. Just one article. [_Turns to rack._] That sheep I brought in last night. It was for a charity, indeed, I bought it from the widow woman at Kiltartan Cross. Where would the poor make a profit out of their dead meat without me? Where now is it? Well, now, I could have swore that that sheep was hanging there on the rack when I went in----

MRS. DELANE. You must have put it in some other place.

MR. QUIRKE. [_Going in and searching and coming out._] I did not; there is no other place for me to put it. Is it gone blind I am, or is it not in it, it is?

MRS. DELANE. It's not there now, anyway.

MR. QUIRKE. Didn't you take notice of it there, yourself, this morning?

MRS. DELANE. I have it in my mind that I did; but it's not there now.

MR. QUIRKE. There was no one here could bring it away?

MRS. DELANE. Is it me, myself, you suspect of taking it, James Quirke?

MR. QUIRKE. Where is it at all? It is certain it was not of itself it walked away. It was dead, and very dead, the time I bought it.

MRS. DELANE. I have a pleasant neighbor, indeed, that accuses me that I took his sheep. I wonder, indeed, you to say a thing like that! I to steal your sheep or your rack or anything that belongs to you or to your trade! Thank you, James Quirke. I am much obliged to you, indeed.

MR. QUIRKE. Ah, be quiet, woman; be quiet----

MRS. DELANE. And let me tell you, James Quirke, that I would sooner starve and see every one belonging to me starve than to eat the size of a thimble of any joint that ever was on your rack or that ever will be on it, whatever the soldiers may eat that have no other thing to get, or the English, that devour all sorts, or the poor ravenous people that's down by the sea!

[_She turns to go into shop._

MR. QUIRKE. [_Stopping her._] Don't be talking foolishness, woman. Who said you took my meat? Give heed to me now. There must some other message have come. The sergeant must have got some other message.

MRS. DELANE. [_Sulkily._] If there is any way for a message to come that is quicker than to come by the wires, tell me what it is, and I'll be obliged to you.

MR. QUIRKE. The sergeant was up here, making an excuse he was sticking up that notice. What was he doing here, I ask you?

MRS. DELANE. How would I know what brought him?

MR. QUIRKE. It is what he did; he made as if to go away--he turned back again and I shaving--he brought away the sheep--he will have it for evidence against me----

MRS. DELANE. [_Interested._] That might be so.

MR. QUIRKE. I would sooner it to have been any other beast nearly ever I had upon the rack.

MRS. DELANE. Is that so?

MR. QUIRKE. I bade the Widow Early to kill it a fortnight ago--but she would not, she was that covetous!

MRS. DELANE. What was on it?

MR. QUIRKE. How would I know what was on it? Whatever was on it, it was the will of God put it upon it--wasted it was, and shivering and refusing its share.

MRS. DELANE. The poor thing.

MR. QUIRKE. Gone all to nothing--wore away like a flock of thread. It did not weigh as much as a lamb of two months.

MRS. DELANE. It is likely the inspector will bring it to Dublin?

MR. QUIRKE. The ribs of it streaky with the dint of patent medicines----

MRS. DELANE. I wonder is it to the Petty Sessions you'll be brought or is it to the Assizes?

MR. QUIRKE. I'll speak up to them. I'll make my defense. What can the army expect at fippence a pound?

MRS. DELANE. It is likely there will be no bail allowed?

MR. QUIRKE. Would they be wanting me to give them good quality meat out of my own pocket? Is it to encourage them to fight the poor Indians and Africans they would have me? It's the Anti-Enlisting Societies should pay the fine for me.

MRS. DELANE. It's not a fine will be put on you, I'm afraid. It's five years in jail you will be apt to be getting. Well, I'll try and be a good neighbor to poor Mrs. Quirke.

[MR. QUIRKE, _who has been stamping up and down, sits down and
weeps_. HALVEY _comes in and stands on one side_.

MR. QUIRKE. Hadn't I heart-scalding enough before, striving to rear five weak children?

MRS. DELANE. I suppose they will be sent to the Industrial Schools?

MR. QUIRKE. My poor wife----

MRS. DELANE. I'm afraid the workhouse----

MR. QUIRKE. And she out in an ass-car at this minute, helping me to follow my trade.

MRS. DELANE. I hope they will not arrest her along with you.

MR. QUIRKE. I'll give myself up to justice. I'll plead guilty! I'll be recommended to mercy!

MRS. DELANE. It might be best for you.

MR. QUIRKE. Who would think so great a misfortune could come upon a family through the bringing away of one sheep!

HYACINTH. [_Coming forward._] Let you make yourself easy.

MR. QUIRKE. Easy! It's easy to say let you make yourself easy.

HYACINTH. I can tell you where it is.

MR. QUIRKE. Where what is?

HYACINTH. The sheep you are fretting after.

MR. QUIRKE. What do you know about it?

HYACINTH. I know everything about it.

MR. QUIRKE. I suppose the sergeant told you?

HYACINTH. He told me nothing.

MR. QUIRKE. I suppose the whole town knows it, so?

HYACINTH. No one knows it, as yet.

MR. QUIRKE. And the sergeant didn't see it?

HYACINTH. No one saw it or brought it away but myself.

MR. QUIRKE. Where did you put it at all?

HYACINTH. In the ditch behind the church wall. In among the nettles it is. Look at the way they have me stung. [_Holds out hands._

MR. QUIRKE. In the ditch! The best hiding-place in the town.

HYACINTH. I never thought it would bring such great trouble upon you. You can't say, anyway, I did not tell you.

MR. QUIRKE. You, yourself, that brought it away and that hid it! I suppose it was coming in the train you got information about the message to the police.

HYACINTH. What now do you say to me?

MR. QUIRKE. Say! I say I am as glad to hear what you said as if it was the Lord telling me I'd be in heaven this minute.

HYACINTH. What are you going to do to me?

MR. QUIRKE. Do, is it? [_Grasps his hand._] Any earthly thing you would wish me to do, I will do it.

HYACINTH. I suppose you will tell----

MR. QUIRKE. Tell! It's I that will tell when all is quiet. It is I will give you the good name through the town!

HYACINTH. I don't well understand.

MR. QUIRKE. [_Embracing him._] The man that preserved me!

HYACINTH. That preserved you?

MR. QUIRKE. That kept me from ruin!

HYACINTH. From ruin?

MR. QUIRKE. That saved me from disgrace!

HYACINTH. [_To_ MRS. DELANE.] What is he saying at all?

MR. QUIRKE. From the inspector!

HYACINTH. What is he talking about?

MR. QUIRKE. From the magistrates!

HYACINTH. He is making some mistake.

MR. QUIRKE. From the Winter Assizes!

HYACINTH. Is he out of his wits?

MR. QUIRKE. Five years in jail!

HYACINTH. Hasn't he the queer talk?

MR. QUIRKE. The loss of the contract!

HYACINTH. Are my own wits gone astray?

MR. QUIRKE. What way can I repay you?

HYACINTH. [_Shouting._] I tell you I took the sheep----

MR. QUIRKE. You did, God reward you!

HYACINTH. I stole away with it----

MR. QUIRKE. The blessing of the poor on you!

HYACINTH. I put it out of sight----

MR. QUIRKE. The blessing of my five children----

HYACINTH. I may as well say nothing----

MRS. DELANE. Let you be quiet now, Quirke. Here's the sergeant coming to search the shop----

[SERGEANT _comes in_. QUIRKE _leaves go of_ HALVEY, _who arranges
his hat, etc._

SERGEANT. The department to blazes!

MRS. DELANE. What is it is putting you out?

SERGEANT. To go to the train to meet the lecturer, and there to get a message through the guard that he was unavoidably detained in the South, holding an inquest on the remains of a drake.

MRS. DELANE. The lecturer, is it?

SERGEANT. To be sure. What else would I be talking of? The lecturer has failed me, and where am I to go looking for a person that I would think fitting to take his place?

MRS. DELANE. And that's all? And you didn't get any message but the one?

SERGEANT. Is that all? I am surprised at you, Mrs. Delane. Isn't it enough to upset a man, within three-quarters of an hour of the time of the meeting? Where, I would ask you, am I to find a man that has education enough and wit enough and character enough to put up speaking on the platform on the minute?

MR. QUIRKE. [_Jumps up._] It is I, myself, will tell you that.

SERGEANT. You!

MR. QUIRKE. [_Slapping_ HALVEY _on the back_.] Look at here, Sergeant. There is not one word was said in all those papers about this young man before you but it is true. And there could be no good thing said of him that would be too good for him.

SERGEANT. It might not be a bad idea.

MR. QUIRKE. Whatever the paper said about him, Sergeant, I can say more again. It has come to my knowledge--by chance--that since he came to this town that young man has saved a whole family from destruction.

SERGEANT. That is much to his credit--helping the rural classes----

MR. QUIRKE. A family and a long family, big and little, like sods of turf--and they depending on a--on one that might be on his way to dark trouble at this minute if it was not for his assistance. Believe me, he is the most sensible man, and the wittiest, and the kindest, and the best helper of the poor that ever stood before you in this square. Is not that so, Mrs. Delane?

MRS. DELANE. It is true, indeed. Where he gets his wisdom and his wit and his information from I don't know, unless it might be that he is gifted from above.

SERGEANT.. Well, Mrs. Delane, I think we have settled that question. Mr. Halvey, you will be the speaker at the meeting. The lecturer sent these notes--you can lengthen them into a speech. You can call to the people of Cloon to stand out, to begin the building of their character. I saw a lecturer do it one time at Dundrum. "Come up here," he said; "Dare to be a Daniel," he said----

HYACINTH. I can't--I won't----

SERGEANT. [_Looking at papers and thrusting them into his hand._] You will find it quite easy. I will conduct you to the platform--these papers before you and a glass of water--that's settled. [_Turns to go._] Follow me on to the court-house in half an hour--I must go to the barracks first--I heard there was a telegram--[_Calls back as he goes._] Don't be late, Mrs. Delane. Mind, Quirke, you promised to come.

MRS. DELANE. Well, it's time for me to make an end of settling myself--and, indeed, Mr. Quirke, you'd best do the same.

MR. QUIRKE. [_Rubbing his cheek._] I suppose so. I had best keep on good terms with him for the present. [_Turns._] Well, now, I had a great escape this day.

[_Both go in as_ FARDY _reappears, whistling_.

HYACINTH. [_Sitting down._] I don't know in the world what has come upon the world that the half of the people of it should be cracked!

FARDY. Weren't you found out yet?

HYACINTH. Found out, is it? I don't know what you mean by being found out.

FARDY. Didn't he miss the sheep?

HYACINTH. He did, and I told him it was I took it--and what happened I declare to goodness I don't know--Will you look at these? [_Holds out notes._

FARDY. Papers! Are they more testimonials?

HYACINTH. They are what is worse. [_Gives a hoarse laugh._] Will you come and see me on the platform--these in my hand--and I speaking--giving out advice. [FARDY _whistles_.] Why didn't you tell me, the time you advised me to steal a sheep, that in this town it would qualify a man to go preaching, and the priest in the chair looking on?

FARDY. The time I took a few apples that had fallen off a stall, they did not ask me to hold a meeting. They welted me well.

HYACINTH. [_Looking round._] I would take apples if I could see them. I wish I had broke my neck before I left Carrow, and I'd be better off! I wish I had got six months the time I was caught setting snares--I wish I had robbed a church.

FARDY. Would a Protestant church do?

HYACINTH. I suppose it wouldn't be so great a sin.

FARDY. It's likely the sergeant would think worse of it. Anyway, if you want to rob one, it's the Protestant church is the handiest.

HYACINTH. [_Getting up._] Show me what way to do it?

FARDY. [_Pointing._] I was going around it a few minutes ago, to see might there be e'er a dog scenting the sheep, and I noticed the window being out.

HYACINTH. Out, out and out?

FARDY. It was, where they are putting colored glass in it for the distiller----

HYACINTH. What good does that do me?

FARDY. Every good. You could go in by that window if you had some person to give you a hoist. Whatever riches there is to get in it then, you'll get them.

HYACINTH. I don't want riches. I'll give you all I will find if you will come and hoist me.

FARDY. Here is Miss Joyce coming to bring you to your lodging. Sure I brought your bag to it, the time you were away with the sheep----

HYACINTH. Run! Run!

[_They go off._ _Enter_ MISS JOYCE.

MISS JOYCE. Are you here, Mrs. Delane? Where, can you tell me, is Mr. Halvey?

MRS. DELANE. [_Coming out dressed._] It's likely he is gone on to the court-house. Did you hear he is to be in the chair and to make an address to the meeting?

MISS JOYCE. He is getting on fast. His reverence says he will be a good help in the parish. Who would think, now, there would be such a godly young man in a little place like Carrow!

[_Enter_ SERGEANT _in a hurry, with telegram_.

SERGEANT. What time did this telegram arrive, Mrs. Delane?

MRS. DELANE. I couldn't be rightly sure, Sergeant. But sure it's marked on it, unless the clock I have is gone wrong.

SERGEANT. It is marked on it. And I have the time I got it marked on my own watch.

MRS. DELANE. Well, now, I wonder none of the police would have followed you with it from the barracks--and they with so little to do----

SERGEANT. [_Looking in at_ QUIRKE'S _shop_.] Well, I am sorry to do what I have to do, but duty is duty.

[_He ransacks shop._ MRS. DELANE _looks on_. MR. QUIRKE _puts his
head out of window_.

MR. QUIRKE. What is that going on inside? [_No answer._] Is there any one inside, I ask? [_No answer._] It must be that dog of Tannian's--wait till I get at him.

MRS. DELANE. It is Sergeant Carden, Mr. Quirke. He would seem to be looking for something----

[MR. QUIRKE _appears in shop_. SERGEANT _comes out, makes another
dive, taking up sacks, etc._

MR. QUIRKE. I'm greatly afraid I am just out of meat, Sergeant--and I'm sorry now to disoblige you, and you not being in the habit of dealing with me----

SERGEANT. I should think not, indeed.

MR. QUIRKE. Looking for a tender little bit of lamb, I suppose you are, for Mrs. Carden and the youngsters?

SERGEANT. I am not.

MR. QUIRKE. If I had it now, I'd be proud to offer it to you, and make no charge. I'll be killing a good kid to-morrow. Mrs Carden might fancy a bit of it----

SERGEANT. I have had orders to search your establishment for unwholesome meat, and I am come here to do it.

MR. QUIRKE. [_Sitting down with a smile._] Is that so? Well, isn't it a wonder the schemers does be in the world.

SERGEANT. It is not the first time there have been complaints.

MR. QUIRKE. I suppose not. Well, it is on their own head it will fall at the last!

SERGEANT. I have found nothing so far.

MR. QUIRKE. I suppose not, indeed. What is there you could find, and it not in it?

SERGEANT. Have you no meat at all upon the premises?

MR. QUIRKE. I have, indeed, a nice barrel of bacon.

SERGEANT. What way did it die?

MR. QUIRKE. It would be hard for me to say that. American it is. How would I know what way they do be killing the pigs out there? Machinery, I suppose, they have--steam-hammers----

SERGEANT. Is there nothing else here at all?

MR. QUIRKE. I give you my word, there is no meat, living or dead, in this place, but yourself and myself and that bird above in the cage.

SERGEANT. Well, I must tell the inspector I could find nothing. But mind yourself for the future.

MR. QUIRKE. Thank you, Sergeant. I will do that.

[_Enter_ FARDY. _He stops short._

SERGEANT. It was you delayed that message to me, I suppose? You'd best mend your ways or I'll have something to say to you. [_Seizes and shakes him._

FARDY. That's the way every one does be faulting me. [_Whimpers._

[_The_ SERGEANT _gives him another shake. A half-crown falls out of
his pocket._

MISS JOYCE. [_Picking it up._] A half-a-crown! Where, now, did you get that much, Fardy?

FARDY. Where did I get it, is it?

MISS JOYCE. I'll engage it was in no honest way you got it.

FARDY. I picked it up in the street----

MISS JOYCE. If you did, why didn't you bring it to the sergeant or to his reverence?

MRS. DELANE. And some poor person, maybe, being at the loss of it.

MISS JOYCE. I'd best bring it to his reverence. Come with me, Fardy, till he will question you about it.

FARDY. It was not altogether in the street I found it----

MISS JOYCE. There, now! I knew you got it in no good way! Tell me, now.

FARDY. It was playing pitch and toss I won it----

MISS JOYCE. And who would play for half-crowns with the like of you, Fardy Farrell? Who was it, now?

FARDY. It was--a stranger----

MISS JOYCE. Do you hear that? A stranger! Did you see e'er a stranger in this town, Mrs. Delane, or Sergeant Carden, or Mr. Quirke?

MR. QUIRKE. Not a one.

SERGEANT. There was no stranger here.

MRS. DELANE. There could not be one here without me knowing it.

FARDY. I tell you there was.

MISS JOYCE. Come on, then, and tell who was he to his reverence.

SERGEANT. [_Taking other arm._] Or to the bench.

FARDY. I did get it, I tell you, from a stranger.

SERGEANT. Where is he, so?

FARDY. He's in some place--not far away.

SERGEANT. Bring me to him.

FARDY. He'll be coming here.

SERGEANT. Tell me the truth and it will be better for you.

FARDY. [_Weeping._] Let me go and I will.

SERGEANT. [_Letting go._] Now--who did you get it from?

FARDY. From that young chap came to-day, Mr. Halvey.

ALL. Mr. Halvey!

MR. QUIRKE. [_Indignantly._] What are you saying, you young ruffian, you? Hyacinth Halvey to be playing pitch and toss with the like of you!

FARDY. I didn't say that.

MISS JOYCE. You did say it. You said it now.

MR. QUIRKE. Hyacinth Halvey! The best man that ever came into this town!

MISS JOYCE. Well, what lies he has!

MR. QUIRKE. It's my belief the half-crown is a bad one. Maybe it's to pass it off it was given to him. There were tinkers in the town at the time of the fair. Give it here to me. [_Bites it._] No, indeed, it's sound enough. Here, Sergeant, it's best for you take it. [_Gives it to_ SERGEANT, _who examines it_.

SERGEANT. Can it be? Can it be what I think it to be?

MR. QUIRKE. What is it? What do you take it to be?

SERGEANT. It is, it is. I know it, I know this half-crown----

MR. QUIRKE. That is a queer thing, now.

SERGEANT. I know it well. I have been handling it in the church for the last twelvemonth----

MR. QUIRKE. Is that so?

SERGEANT. It is the nest-egg half-crown we hand round in the collection-plate every Sunday morning. I know it by the dint on the Queen's temples and the crooked scratch under her nose.

MR. QUIRKE. [_Examining it._] So there is, too.

SERGEANT. This is a bad business. It has been stolen from the church.

ALL. Oh! Oh! Oh!

SERGEANT. [_Seizing_ FARDY.] You have robbed the church!

FARDY. [_Terrified._] I tell you I never did!

SERGEANT. I have the proof of it.

FARDY. Say what you like! I never put a foot in it!

SERGEANT. How did you get this, so?

MISS JOYCE. I suppose from the _stranger_?

MRS. DELANE. I suppose it was Hyacinth Halvey gave it to you, now?

FARDY. It was so.

SERGEANT. I suppose it was he robbed the church?

FARDY. [_Sobs._] You will not believe me if I say it.

MR. QUIRKE. Oh! the young vagabond! Let me get at him!

MRS. DELANE. Here he is himself now!

[HYACINTH _comes in_. FARDY _releases himself and creeps behind him_.

MRS. DELANE. It is time you to come, Mr. Halvey, and shut the mouth of this young schemer.

MISS JOYCE. I would like you to hear what he says of you, Mr. Halvey. Pitch and toss, he says.

MR. QUIRKE. Robbery, he says.

MRS. DELANE. Robbery of a church.

SERGEANT. He has had a bad name long enough. Let him go to a reformatory now.

FARDY. [_Clinging to_ HYACINTH.] Save me, save me! I'm a poor boy trying to knock out a way of living; I'll be destroyed if I go to a reformatory. [_Kneels and clings to_ HYACINTH'S _knees_.

HYACINTH. I'll save you easy enough.

FARDY. Don't let me be jailed!

HYACINTH. I am going to tell them.

FARDY. I'm a poor orphan----

HYACINTH. Will you let me speak?

FARDY. I'll get no more chance in the world----

HYACINTH. Sure I'm trying to free you----

FARDY. It will be tasked to me always.

HYACINTH. Be quiet, can't you?

FARDY. Don't you desert me!

HYACINTH. Will you be silent?

FARDY. Take it on yourself.

HYACINTH. I will if you'll let me.

FARDY. Tell them you did it.

HYACINTH. I am going to do that.

FARDY. Tell them it was you got in at the window.

HYACINTH. I will! I will!

FARDY. Say it was you robbed the box.

HYACINTH. I'll say it! I'll say it!

FARDY. It being open!

HYACINTH. Let me tell, let me tell.

FARDY. Of all that was in it.

HYACINTH. I'll tell them that.

FARDY. And gave it to me.

HYACINTH. [_Putting hand on his mouth and dragging him up._] Will you stop and let me speak?

SERGEANT. We can't be wasting time. Give him here to me.

HYACINTH. I can't do that. He must be let alone.

SERGEANT. [_Seizing him._] He'll be let alone in the lock-up.

HYACINTH. He must not be brought there.

SERGEANT. I'll let no man get him off.

HYACINTH. I will get him off.

SERGEANT. You will not!

HYACINTH. I will.

SERGEANT. Do you think to buy him off?

HYACINTH. I will buy him off with my own confession.

SERGEANT. And what will that be?

HYACINTH. It was I robbed the church.

SERGEANT. That is likely indeed!

HYACINTH. Let him go, and take me. I tell you I did it.

SERGEANT. It would take witnesses to prove that.

HYACINTH. [_Pointing to_ FARDY.] He will be witness.

FARDY. Oh, Mr. Halvey, I would not wish to do that. Get me off and I will say nothing.

HYACINTH. Sure you must. You will be put on oath in the court.

FARDY. I will not! I will not! All the world knows I don't understand the nature of an oath!

MR. QUIRKE. [_Coming forward._] Is it blind ye all are?

MRS. DELANE. What are you talking about?

MR. QUIRKE. Is it fools ye all are?

MISS JOYCE. Speak for yourself.

MR. QUIRKE. Is it idiots ye all are?

SERGEANT. Mind who you're talking to.

MR. QUIRKE. [_Seizing_ HYACINTH'S _hands_.] Can't you see? Can't you hear? Where are your wits? Was ever such a thing seen in this town?

MRS. DELANE. Say out what you have to say.

MR. QUIRKE. A walking saint he is!

MRS. DELANE. Maybe so.

MR. QUIRKE. The preserver of the poor! Talk of the holy martyrs! They are nothing at all to what he is! Will you look at him! To save that poor boy he is going! To take the blame on himself he is going! To say he, himself, did the robbery he is going! Before the magistrate he is going! To jail he is going! Taking the blame on his own head! Putting the sin on his own shoulders! Letting on to have done a robbery! Telling a lie--that it may be forgiven him--to his own injury! Doing all that, I tell you, to save the character of a miserable slack lad, that rose in poverty.

[_Murmur of admiration from all._

MR. QUIRKE. Now, what do you say?

SERGEANT. [_Pressing his hand._] Mr. Halvey, you have given us all a lesson. To please you, I will make no information against the boy, [_Shakes him and helps him up._] I will put back the half-crown in the poor-box next Sunday. [_To_ FARDY.] What have you to say to your benefactor?

FARDY. I'm obliged to you, Mr. Halvey. You behaved very decent to me, very decent indeed. I'll never let a word be said against you if I live to be a hundred years.

SERGEANT. [_Wiping eyes with a blue handkerchief._] I will tell it at the meeting. It will be a great encouragement to them to build up their character. I'll tell it to the priest and he taking the chair----

HYACINTH. Oh, stop, will you----

MR. QUIRKE. The chair. It's in the chair he, himself, should be. It's in a chair we will put him now. It's to chair him through the streets we will. Sure he'll be an example and a blessing to the whole of the town. [_Seizes_ HALVEY _and seats him in chair_.] Now, Sergeant, give a hand. Here. Fardy.

[_They all lift the chair with_ HALVEY _in it, wildly protesting_.

MR. QUIRKE. Come along now to the court-house. Three cheers for Hyacinth Halvey! Hip! hip! hoora!

[_Cheers heard in the distance as the curtain drops._

THE GAZING GLOBE

BY

EUGENE PILLOT

_The Gazing Globe_ is reprinted by special permission of Eugene Pillot. All rights are retained by the author. This play is protected by copyright and must not be used without the permission of and payment of royalty to Eugene Pillot, who may be reached through The 47 Workshop, Cambridge, Massachusetts.

EUGENE PILLOT

Eugene Pillot, one of the well-known contemporary writers of one-act plays, was born in Houston, Texas. He was educated in the New York School of Fine and Applied Arts, at the University of Texas, at Cornell University, and at Harvard University. While at Harvard, he participated in the activities of The 47 Workshop.

Mr. Pillot's one-act plays are always characterized by excellent and well-sustained technic. Among his best-known one-act plays are _The Gazing Globe_, _Two Crooks and a Lady_, _Telephone Number One_ (a prize play), _Hunger_, and _My Lady Dreams_. Mr. Pillot's plays have been produced frequently in schools and Little Theatres of America.

_The Gazing Globe_ originally appeared in _The Stratford Journal_, and was first produced by the Boston Community Players, February 26, 1920, with the following cast: ZAMA, Rosalie Manning; OHANO, Beulah Auerbach; and NIJO, Eugene Pillot. _The Gazing Globe_ has unusually sustained tone and dramatic suspense.

CHARACTERS

ZAMA
OHANO
NIJO

THE GAZING GLOBE[F]

SCENE: _A soft cream-colored room, bare walled and unfurnished
except for dull-blue grass mats on the floor and brilliant
cushions. In the centre of rear wall is a great circular window
with a dais before it, so that it may be used as a doorway. A
gathered shade of soft blue silk covers the opening of the window._

PLACE: _An island in a southern sea._

TIME: _Not so long ago._

[_The curtain rises on an empty stage._ ZAMA, _an old servant woman
dressed in dull purples and grays, hurries in from the right. She
stops at centre stage and glances about searchingly, then calls in
a weazen voice._

ZAMA. Ohano--Ohano! Where do you be, child?

[_Listens, looks about, sees drawn shade at the rear, and sighs as
she goes to it and starts to raise it._

[_As the shade rolls out of sight we see through the open window a
bit of quaint cliff garden that overlooks a sea of green. The rocks
are higher on the left, near the window, where a purple-pink vine
in full blossom has started to climb. At the right the rocks slope
down to the sea. At centre, stone steps lead up to a slender stone
pedestal that holds a gazing globe, now a brilliant gold in the
late afternoon sunlight._ OHANO, _with hands clasped round the
globe, is gazing at it. She is a woman of the early twenties,
beautiful and gowned in a flowing kimono-like robe of green with
embroideries of white and blue._

ZAMA. [_In a chiding, motherly way._] Ohano, my child, you must not be so much at that evil ball! How many times be I not telling you it is an _enchanted_ ball?

OHANO. Yes, Zama, I hope it is enchanted. I've tried every other means to gain the way to my heart's desire--and they've all failed me. The story these islanders have woven round this gazing globe may be but a myth--but if it shows me the way to my freedom, I shall not have looked at it in vain.

ZAMA. Be you forgetting, child, 'tis said that evil ball shows only the way to destruction!

OHANO. Yes, these island people will create any myth, go any length, to keep one thinking, living in their narrow way. You are destined for evil if you try to follow the urge of your own heart--oh, yes, I know.

ZAMA. But _your_ heart, child, should only be wanting the love of Nijo.

OHANO. Nijo--I am hoping that he will be big enough to help me--but my lover has been away so long----

ZAMA. But to-day he be coming back--I came to tell you I think I saw his boat----

OHANO. Nijo's boat? Where?

ZAMA. It be near the edge of the island just where----

OHANO. Why didn't you tell me before?

ZAMA. I came to--but I be forgetting when I see you at that evil ball again.

OHANO. [_All eagerness._] Perhaps we can see him land--from here on the rocks--come, Zama, I hear the sound of voices down near the sea--come! [_They climb to the highest rock._] Look, Zama, the boat is there! Already there in the green water against the shore!

ZAMA. It do seem to be so. [_Peers toward right._

OHANO. And _there_--is Nijo!

ZAMA. Where, where, child?

OHANO. There--see, he's just coming ashore--oh, Nijo! And look, Zama, look what the people crowding round him have done--look!

ZAMA. What? My poor eyes be yet uncertain. What do they be doing to your lover?

OHANO. They have put upon him the Robe of Flame--to greet him with the highest honor of the island.

ZAMA. So they be. The robe they say the gods themselves did wear when time did first begin. Nijo must come back a great warrior now--a great warrior!

OHANO. Oh, how wonderful to return from the wars like that! Zama, I want to--I _must_ go out into the world and do great things too, like Nijo.

ZAMA. Nijo be coming back, child. That do be enough. Look, what is it that glitters so in the sun?

OHANO. Why, they are giving something to my red god--something that's long as a serpent moon--see, he holds it out in admiration, before him. Just what can it be?

ZAMA. In faith I do believe they have given your hero--a sword!

OHANO. A marvellous sword--look, its jewels flash with the shifting lights, warm as the colored rifts of sunset!

ZAMA. Such gems do be a tribute to his greatness, Ohano, they do.

OHANO. How gladly would I have the way I seek without such tribute--how willingly!

ZAMA. And now the crowd do be parting--he leaves the boat and he looks this way, Ohano--he looks!

OHANO. Nijo, my red wonder of the world!

ZAMA. See, he mounts his steed--he waves to you!

OHANO. Nijo! Nijo!

ZAMA. And now he rides off to come to you here. It is better we be waiting inside for him--when he brings back his love to his promised bride.

OHANO. [_As they enter room._] Ah, Zama, he must bring me more than love this time--much more. Yes, your little Ohano must have more in her life to-day than just love--and Nijo must show her the way to that realm where she may stretch her soul and _live_!

ZAMA. The love of so great a man do be enough for any woman, child.

OHANO. Oh, no--oh, no----

ZAMA. But it do be; and evil will fall, I know, if you do be asking more than love!

OHANO. But I tell you, Nijo's love is not enough. I must have a bigger, greater thing!

ZAMA. The gods do know of none that be more than love.

OHANO. But there must be, else why would I feel the rush of its pulse within my veins? Why would my whole being cry out for action and the glory of doing big things in the lands across the sea? Why, tell me why, I would feel those things if they were not so?

ZAMA. It be not for me to say, child; but I do be thinking you moon at that evil ball too much. It do make your sight grow red! It be not wise to know an enchanted thing so well.

OHANO. If that gazing globe in the garden would only show me the way to my heart's desire, how gladly would I be the victim of its enchantment!

ZAMA. Nijo's kiss do be your enchantment, child. One touch of his lips and you do be forgetting all else.

OHANO. If Nijo's kiss can make me forget this fever within me, I want his kiss as I shall never want anything else in all of this life. I want it!!

[_Approaching horse's hoofs are heard from off right._

ZAMA. Listen--the horse! Ohano, your lover do be coming!

OHANO. [_Running to the window._] Already? He must have taken the short way through the cliffs.

ZAMA. Ah, child, do you not be excited as a bird in a storm-wind's blow?

OHANO. [_Superbly, as she leans against window._] Yes, I await my hero!

ZAMA. He's stopped, child! He do be here! At last he comes back to my little Ohano!

OHANO. My hope comes! [_With outstretched arms to right._] My Nijo!! Oh----!

[_She had impulsively started to greet_ NIJO, _but suddenly shrinks
back_.

ZAMA. What do be wrong--what?

OHANO. He's so different--so changed--oh, here he is--ssh!

[NIJO _appears at the window, where he pauses for a moment. He is a
tall, brunette man, scarcely thirty--a handsome, well-knit southern
island type, wearing a flowing robe of flame, with a flaring collar
of old-gold brocade. A peaked hat completes the costume. A curved
sword, with a hilt thickly studded with large jewels and incased in
gold, hangs at his belt. He seems worldly weary and sad as he
advances into the room._

OHANO. Nijo!

NIJO. [_Unimpassioned._] Ohano.

OHANO. [_Eagerly._] You have come back!

NIJO. Yes--and the season of the heat has been gracious to your health, I hope?

OHANO. Yes--and yours, Nijo?

NIJO. The same.

OHANO. Oh, I am glad--glad as tree-blossoms for the kiss of spring. And Zama here shares my welcome, don't you?

NIJO. [_Recognizing_ ZAMA.] Ah, Zama.

ZAMA. [_Bowing before him._] The gods do be kind to bring back a hero to us.

NIJO. Thank you.

ZAMA. Now I do be going for refreshments for your weariness; great it must be after so long a voyage. [_Exits right._

OHANO. Shall we not sit here?

NIJO. As you will.

[OHANO _and_ NIJO _sit upon mats near the window, partly facing
each other_.

OHANO. They--they gave you a sword at the boat.

NIJO. [_Wearily._] Oh, yes.

OHANO. Even from up here we could see its jewels flash.

NIJO. [_Without interest._] Yes, it is cunningly conceived.

OHANO. How wonderful it must be. Perhaps--I may see it?

NIJO. [_Still wearily._] If you so desire.

[_Unbuckles sword and holds it before himself for her to examine.
She leans over it admiringly, touching the jewels as she speaks of
them._

OHANO. Magnificent! Rubies and emeralds and sapphires! And here are moonstones and diamonds. How you must prize it.

NIJO. [_Wearily._] Of course, one must.

OHANO. And the very people who tried to stop you from going across the sea to win your glory have given it to you.

NIJO. That is the way of the world.

OHANO. Show me the way to glory, Nijo.

NIJO. And why?

OHANO. I would travel it too.

NIJO. You--a simple island maiden?

OHANO. I'm not simple. I've grown beyond the people here.

NIJO. But there is glory in the work women must do at home.

OHANO. And I have done my share of it. I want bigger work now--out in the world.

NIJO. But the simple tasks must be done.

OHANO. I am sick unto death of doing them!

NIJO. But you can't go into the battles of the world. You are an island woman.

OHANO. This last war has made all women free. If the other island women cling to the everlasting tradition that woman should not go beyond her native hearth, let them cling. I shall reach the summit of things and know the glory of doing big things in the world!

NIJO. But you--sheltered, protected all your life--how can you do it?

OHANO. That's what troubles me. But you were fettered by this island life and you broke through the bars of convention. How did _you_ do it?

NIJO. [_Sadly._] Ohano, I would not spoil your life by telling you.

OHANO. Spoil it? What do you think is happening to it now? Oh, Nijo, can't you understand I'm stagnating--_dying_ in this commonplace island life.

NIJO. I thought that about myself, too, when I started my climb to glory; but scarcely a moon had passed before I realized the loneliness of great heights.

OHANO. [_Tigerishly._] Are you trying to turn me from my wish--to have all the island's glory for yourself?

NIJO. No, but only the valley people enjoy the sublimity of a mountain.

OHANO. [_Scornfully._] Ha!

NIJO. Those who reach the top have lost their perspective. All they see are the lonely tops of other mountains.

OHANO. [_Sublimely._] But they've had the joy of the climb!

NIJO. And worth what--no more than the mist of the sea.

OHANO. Do you think that satisfies me? I want to find out for myself! I only want you to tell me the way to use this spirit that boils within my blood, thirsts for action!

NIJO. That I never will.

OHANO. Oh, what shall I do? I've even implored the sun and the moon! [_Looks toward sea._] Now I _must_ listen to my dreams--my dreams that cry and cry: "Look in the gazing globe! Look in the gazing globe! It will show you the way!" And if it ever does, I'll take that path _no matter where it leads_.

NIJO. My journey only made me want to come back to the haven of your love, Ohano. The amber cup of glory left me athirst to be wrapped in the mantle of your boundless love and warmed with the glow of your heart.

OHANO. [_Surprised._] Your journey has really led you back to me?

NIJO. [_Sadly._] You're my only hope. I've been as mad for you as the sea for the moonlight.

OHANO. [_Disturbed._] But you had fire and impulse when you went away; and now--well, you do still yearn for me?

NIJO. [_Quietly, without passion._] The hope for your love has been the light of my brain, changing from life to dream, from earth to star.

OHANO. My thirst for glory has been that way; but Zama tells me it is as nothing in the kiss of love. If love has that power, I am willing to forget all else. Kiss me, Nijo!

NIJO. At last my lips will press yours, as the sun flames to an immortal moment when it meets the sky.

[_Kneeling opposite each other, their lips meet._ OHANO _instantly
gives a piercing scream and recoils from him_. NIJO _sinks into a
heap_.

OHANO. [_Rising and turning toward the sea, weeping._] Oh, oh, oh!

ZAMA. [_Rushing in from right._] What is it? What is it, Ohano?

OHANO. [_Still weeping._] Oh--ooh.

ZAMA. What do it be, my little Ohano?

OHANO. [_Turning._] His kiss--Nijo's kiss!

ZAMA. Yes?

OHANO. Cold as white marble--_cold_!

ZAMA. Cold as white marble?

OHANO. Oh, Nijo, why do you kiss me like a thing of stone?

NIJO. [_As he looks up, pitifully._] Into that kiss I tried to put all the love I've thought these many years.

OHANO. The love you've _thought_?

NIJO. [_Despondently._] Yes, I've only thought it--_thought_ it!

OHANO. But your heart----?

NIJO. [_Rising._] My heart feels no more! Only my head thinks.

ZAMA. You love no more?

NIJO. Only with my head, it seems. I see things, know things, understand things; but I no longer feel anything. And my thirst for glory has done it all--killed my love of life and turned my very kiss to stone. Oh, glory, why do men give the essence of their lives to you--you who last no longer than the glow of gold above the place of sunset!

OHANO. [_Superbly._] Because glory gives you the world--everything!

NIJO. It takes everything away--strips you--and leaves you nothing to believe. Oh, I could have become a common soldier here, marching shoulder to shoulder with the island men going out to war--but no--I must be a great warrior, a hero in position. Had I known then what I know now, how gladly would I have gone as one of the thousands who are known as--just soldiers. They are the ones who know the throb of life and love!

OHANO. You bring back such a message to me? You who have climbed and climbed to heights till I have believed you to be as constant in your quest as the light that shines upon the gazing globe?

NIJO. I--a light?

OHANO. Why not? I've always likened your feet unto the disks of two luminaries, lighting the way for all the world to follow. [_Looks at gazing globe, which is now a ball of gold against the black sea and sky._] And now you tell me I was wrong. Perhaps the light upon the gazing globe itself is the only one to follow.

NIJO. I--a light? Why, Ohano, if I'm anything, I'm a gazing globe!

OHANO. What do you mean--you a gazing globe?

NIJO. That without I'm all fair, all wonderful--but within I'm empty as a gazing globe.

OHANO. [_Scornfully._] But a gazing globe shows men the way to their heart's desire.

NIJO. It reflects to men what they see into it. So does glory.

OHANO. I can't believe that--now.

NIJO. Behold what it has done to me! Already as a child I gazed at that globe, longing to grasp the glory of which it was a symbol. It filled me with a red madness, surged with an unbearable music, giving me a riotous pain! Oh, it made me drunk for the wine of glory!

OHANO. I know! I know! Now you talk as the man I thought you were.

NIJO. I'm not a man. I'm dead.