Chapter VIII

XIII ———— VIII.
ΛIII

My number, definite and known,
Is ten times ten told ten times o’er;
One-half of me is one alone,
The other exceeds all count and score.

Thou-sand.

There’s a word composed of three letters alone,
Which reads backwards and forwards the same;
It expresses the sentiments warm from the heart,
And to beauty lays principal claim.

Eye.

The cat did my first with a curl of her tail,
When the game she had made quite secure
By means of my second and not of my whole,
As she ought to have done, I am sure.

Pur-chase.

Pray tell me, ladies, if you can,
Who is that highly favored man,
Who though he has married many a wife,
May still live single all his life?

A clergyman.

Can you tell me why a hypocrite’s eye
Can better descry than you or I,
On how many toes a pussy cat goes?
A man of deceit can best count-er-feit;
And so, I suppose, can best count her toes.

Without my first you’d look very strange,
My second you much want to be;
My whole is what many a lady has worn,
At a ball, an assembly, or play.

Nose-gay.

Two letters often tempt mankind,
And those who yield will surely find
Two others ready to enforce
The punishment that comes of course.

X-S and D-K (excess and decay).

My first doth affliction denote,
Which my second is destined to feel.
My whole is a sweet antidote
That affliction to soothe and to heal.

Wo-man!

My first of anything is half,
My second is complete;
And so remains until once more
My first and second meet.

Semi-circle.

My first makes company,
My second shuns company,
My third assembles company,
My whole puzzles company.

Co-nun-drums.

Safe on a fair one’s arm my first may rest,
And raise no tumult in a husband’s breast;
To those who neither creep, nor run, nor fly,
The want of legs my second will supply.
My whole’s a rival of the fairest toast,
And when I’m liked the best I suffer most.

Muf-fin.

What is that which is
The beginning of eternity,
The end of time and space,
The beginning of every end,
The end of every race?

Letter E.

Your initials begin with an A,
You’ve an A at the end of your name,
The whole of your name is an A,
And its backward and forward the same.

Anna!

We are airy little creatures,
Each have different forms and features;
One of us in glass is set,
Another you will find in jet;
A third, less bright, is set in tin,
A fourth a shining box within;
And the fifth, if you pursue,
It will never fly from you.

Vowels.

My first a baby does when you pinch it;
My second a lady says when she doesn’t mean it;
My third exists and no one e’er has seen it;
And my whole contains the world’s best half within it.

Cri-no-line.

Formed long ago, yet made to-day,
I’m most employed while others sleep;
What none would like to give away,
Yet no one likes to keep.

Bed.

What’s that? What’s that? Oh! I shall faint,
Call, call the priest to lay it!
Transpose it, and to king and saint,
And great and good you pay it.

Spectre; respect.

How shall the following be read?

Yy u r yy u b
I c u r yy 4 me.

ANSWER.—
Too wise you are,
Too wise you be;
I see you are
Too wise for me.

How shall the following be read?

U o a o, but I o thee;
O o no o, but O o me;
Then let my o thy o be
And give o o I o thee.

ANSWER.—
You sigh for a cipher, but I sigh for thee;
Oh! sigh for no cipher, but oh! sigh for me;
They let my cipher thy cipher be;
And give sigh for sigh, for I sigh for thee.

How shall the following stanza be read that it may be true?

There is a lady in the land
With twenty nails on each hand,
Five-and-twenty on hands and feet,
This is true without deceit.

ANSWER.—
There is a lady in the land
With twenty nails; on each hand
Five, and twenty on hands and feet,
This is true without deceit.

FRENCH CONUNDRUMS

Je suis le capitaine de vingt-quatre Soldats, et sans moi Paris serait pris.

The letter A.

Pourquoi les amateurs du beau sexe vont-ils souvent à l’hippodrome?

Afin d’être en cirque assis.

Quelle différence y-a-t-il entre le souverain de la Perse et le Viceroi d’Egypte.

C’est que l’un est chat (Shah) et l’autre pas chat (Pacha).

Quel est le peuple le moins gai de l’univers?

Le peuple Persan, parce qu’il est gouverné par un Schah (chat), et que le schah fait fuir les souris.

A French friend wishes to know: Vai ze Keeng ov Eatalee ees laike von seengair at ze opera oo ees loozeng ess voice?

Parce qu’il a perdu sa voix (Savoie).

Pourquoi les Carthaginois portaient-ils toujours des gants?

Parce qu’ils n’aimaient pas l’air aux mains (les Romains)!

Quand un gant ressemble-t-il au numéro vingt-cinq.

Quand il est neuf et très étroit (et treize et trois)!

Un félon peut-il prendre pour devise,—“Honneur à Dieu”?

Non, car il faut qu’il dise,—“Adieu, honneur!”

Je ne suis pas ce que je suis; car si j’étais ce que suis, je ne serais pas ce que je suis, cependant je suis ce que je suis; devinez ce que je suis?

Un domestique qui suit sa maîtresse.

ARITHMETICAL PUZZLES

Write eleven thousand eleven hundred and eleven.

METHOD.— 11,000 + 1,100 + 11 = 12,111.

What four United States coins will amount to fifty-one cents?

ANSWER.—Two twenty five cent pieces and two half cents.

Place three 6’s together so as to amount to 7.

METHOD.— 6-6/6 = 7.

Place three 2’s together so as to make 24.

METHOD.— 22 + 2 = 24.

Place three 3’s together so as to make 24.

METHOD.— 3^3 - 3 = 24.

Take one from nine and make it ten.

METHOD.—Write nine thus, IX; take away the I we have X.

Add one to nine and make it twenty.

METHOD.—Nine is IX; cross the I we have XX.

Prove that one taken from nineteen leaves twenty.

METHOD.—Take the I from XIX, and we have XX.

Make four straight lines and then add five straight lines and make ten.

METHOD.— | | | | ; TEN.

Prove that the half of eleven is six.

METHOD.—In XI draw a line thus,