Chapter VI (6)
"I think so. No; she did say that you were fond of autumn in the country. So am I. Wouldn't it be wise to stop at the old man's cottage, before remounting, and dry your shoes a little?"
"I never take cold."
"Perhaps we could find a pair in the village that you could wear."
"It is not necessary. I will ride rapidly; the exercise will be the best safeguard."
"Do you know why I have come back?" he said, abandoning the subject of the shoes.
"I do not," answered the lady. She looked very sad and weary.
"I have come back, Katharine, to tell you plainly and humbly that I love you. This time I make no conditions; I have none to make. Do with me as you please; I must bear it. But believe that I love you with all my heart. It has been against my will; I have not been willing to admit it to myself; but of late the certainty has forced itself upon me so overwhelmingly that I had no resource left save to come to you. I am full of faults; but--I love you. I have said many things that displeased you deeply; but--I love you. Do not deliberate. Send me away--if go I must--now. Keep me--if you will keep me--now. You can punish me afterwards."
They had been walking onward, but now he stopped. She stopped also; but she said nothing; her eyes were downcast.
"It is a real love I offer you," he said, in a low tone. Then, as still she did not speak, "I will make you very happy, Katharine," he added.
Her face had remained pale, but at this assertion of his a slight color rose, and a smile showed itself faintly. "You are always so sure!" she murmured. And then she laughed, a little low, sweet, sudden laugh.
"Let him laugh who wins," said Ford, triumphantly. The old streaked stone wall, if dreary, was at least high; no one saw him but one very wet and bedraggled little bird, who was in the tree above. This bird was so much cheered (it must have been that) that he immediately chirruped one note quite briskly, and coming out on a drier twig, began to arrange his soaked feathers.
"Now," said Ford, "we will have those shoes dried, whether you like it or not. No more imprudence allowed. How angry you were when I said we might find a pair in the village that you could wear! Of course I meant children's size." He had drawn her hand through his arm, and was going towards the gate.
But she freed herself and stopped. "It is all a mistake," she said, hurriedly. "It means nothing. I am not myself to-day. Do not think of it."
"Certainly I shall not trouble myself to think of it much when--what is so much better--I have it."
"No; it is nothing. Forget it. I shall not see you again. I am going back to America immediately--next week."
He looked at her as she uttered these short sentences. Then he took her hands in his. "I know about the loss of your fortune, Katharine; you need not tell me. No, Sylvia did not betray you. I heard it quite by chance from another source while I was still in Heidelberg. That is the reason I came."
"The reason you came!" she repeated, moving from him, with the old proud light coming back into her eyes. "You thought I would be overwhelmed--you thought that I would be so broken that I would be glad--you pitied me--you came to help me? And you were _sure_--" She stopped; her voice was shaking.
"Yes, Katharine, I did pity you. Yes, I came to help you if you would let me. But I was not sure. I was sure of nothing but my own obstinate love, which burst out uncontrollably when I thought of you in trouble. I have never thought of you in that way before; you have always had everything. The thought has brought me straight to your side."
But she was not softened. "I withdraw all I have said," she answered. "You have taken advantage."
"As it happens, you have said nothing. As to taking advantage, of course I took advantage: I was glad enough to see your pale face and sad eyes. But that is because you have always carried things with such a high hand. First and last, I have had a great deal of bad treatment."
"That is not true."
"Very well; then it is not. It shall be as you please. Do you want me to go down on my knees to you on this wet gravel?"
But she still turned from him.
"Katharine," he said, in a graver tone, "I am sorry on your account that your fortune is gone, or nearly gone; but on my own, how can I help being glad? It was a barrier between us, which, as I am, and as you are--but principally as you are--would have been, I fear, a hopeless one. I doubt if I should ever have surmounted it. Your loss brings you nearer to me--the woman I deeply love, love in spite of myself. Now if you are my wife--and a tenderly loved wife you will be--you will in a measure be dependent upon your husband, and that is very sweet to a self-willed man like myself. Perhaps in time I can even make it sweet to you."
A red spot burned in each of her cheeks. "It is very hard," she said, almost in a whisper.
"Well, on the whole, life _is_ hard," answered John Ford. But the expression in his eyes was more tender than his words. At any rate, it seemed to satisfy her.
"Do you know what I am going to do?" he said, some minutes later. "I am going to make Benjamin Franklin light a fire on one of those old literary hearths at the château. Your shoes shall be dried in the presence of Corinne herself (who must, however, have worn a much larger pair). And while they are drying I will offer a formal apology for any past want of respect, not only to Corinne, but to all the other portraits, especially to that blue-eyed Madame Necker in her very tight white satin gown. We will drink their healths in some of the native wine. If you insist, I will even make an effort to admire the yellow turban."
He carried out his plan. Benjamin Franklin, tempted by the fee offered, and relying no doubt upon the gloomy weather as a barrier against discovery, made a bright fire upon one of the astonished hearths, and brought over a flask of native wine, a little loaf, and some fine grapes. Ford arranged these on a spindle-legged table, and brought forward an old tapestried arm-chair for Katharine. Then while she sat sipping her wine and drying her shoes before the crackling flame, he went gravely round the room, glass in hand, pausing before each portrait to bow ceremoniously and drink to its health and long life--probably in a pictorial sense. When he had finished the circuit, "Here's to you all, charming vanished ladies of the past," he said; "may you each have every honor in the picturesque, powdered, unorthographic age to which you belong, and never by any possibility step over into ours!"
"That last touch has spoiled the whole," said the lady in the tapestried chair.
But Ford declared that an expression in Madame Necker's blue eye approved his words.
He now came back to the hearth. "This will never do," he said. "The shoes are not drying; you must take them off." And with that he knelt down and began to unbutton them. But Katharine, agreeing to obey orders, finished the task herself. The old custodian, who had been standing in the doorway laughing at Ford's portrait pantomime, now saw an opportunity to make himself useful; he came forward, took one of the shoes, put it upon his hand, and, kneeling down, held it close to the flame. The shoes were little boots of dark cloth like the habit, slender, dainty, and made with thin soles; they were for riding, not walking. Ford brought forward a second arm-chair and sat down. "The old room looks really cheerful," he said. "The portraits are beginning to thaw, presently we shall see them smile."
Katharine too was smiling. She was also blushing a little. The blush and slight embarrassment made her look like a school-girl.
"Where shall we go for the winter?" said Ford. "I can give you one more winter over here, and then I must go home and get to work again. And as we have so little foreign time left, I suggest that we lose none of it, and begin our married life at once. Don't be alarmed; he does not understand a word of English. Shall we say, then, next week?"
"No."
"Are you waiting to know me better? Take me, and make me better."
"What are your principal faults--I mean besides those I already know?" she said, shielding her face from the heat of the fire with her riding gauntlets.
"I have very few. I like my own way; but it is always a good way. My opinions are rather decided ones; but would you like an undecided man? I do not enjoy general society, but I am extremely fond of the particular. I think that is all."
"And your obstinacy?"
"Only firmness."
"You are narrow, prejudiced; you do not believe in progress of any kind. You would keep women down with an iron hand."
"A velvet one."
The custodian now took the other shoe.
"He will certainly stretch them with that broad palm of his," said Ford. "But perhaps it is as well; you have a habit of wearing shoes that are too small. What ridiculous little affairs those are! Will twelve pairs a year content you?"
A flush rose in her cheeks; she made no reply.
"It will be very hard for you to give up your independence, your control of things," he said.
But she turned towards him with a very sweet expression in her eyes. "You will do it all for me," she answered.
He rose, walked about the room, coming back to lean over the gilded top of her chair and say, with emphasis, "What in the world does that old wretch mean by staying here so persistently all this time?"
She laughed. Benjamin Franklin, looking up from his task, laughed too--probably on general principles of sociability and appreciation of his fee.
"To go back to your faults," she said; "please come and sit down, and acknowledge them. You have a very jealous nature."
"You are mistaken. However, if you like jealousy, I can easily take it up."
"It will not be necessary. It is already there."
"You are thinking of some particular instance; of whom did you suppose I was jealous?"
But she would not say.
After a while he came back to it. "You thought I was jealous of Lorimer Percival," he said.
The custodian now announced that both shoes were dry; she put them on, buttoning them with an improvised button-hook made of a hair-pin. The old man stood straightening himself after his bent posture; he still smiled--probably on the same general principles. The afternoon was drawing towards its close; Ford asked him to bring round the horses. He went out; they could hear his slow, careful tread on each of the slippery stairs. Katharine had risen; she went to the mirror to adjust her riding-hat. Ford came up and stood behind her. "Do you remember when I looked at you in the glass, in this same way, a year ago?" he said.
"How you talked to me that day about my poor little book! You made me feel terribly."
"I am sorry. Forgive it."
"But you do not forgive the book?"
"I will forget it, instead. You will write no more."
"Always so sure! However, I will promise, if you acknowledge that you have a jealous disposition."
She spoke gayly. He watched her in the glass a moment, then drew her away. "Whether I have a jealous disposition or not I do not know," he answered. "But I was never jealous of Lorimer Percival; I held him in too light estimation. And I did not believe--no, not at any time--that you loved him; he was not a man whom you would love. Why you allowed yourself to become engaged to him I do not know; but I suspect it was because he flattered what you thought your literary talent. I do not believe you would ever have married him; you would have drawn back at the last moment. To be engaged to him was one thing, to marry him another. You kept your engagement along for months, when there was no reason at all for the delay. If you had married him I should have thought the less of you, but I should not have been jealous." He paused. "I might never have let you know it, Katharine," he went on; "but I prefer that there should be nothing but the truth between us. I know that it was Percival who broke the engagement at the last, and not you. I knew it when I was here in the summer. He himself told me when I met him in Scotland just after his marriage."
She broke from him. "How base are all men!" she said, in a voice unlike her own.
"In him it was simply egotism. He knew that I had known of his engagement to you, and he wished me to appreciate that in order to marry that sweet young girl, who was quite without fortune, he had been obliged to make, and had made, a great sacrifice."
"Great indeed!" she commented, bitterly. "You do well to commend him."
"I do not commend him. I simply say that he was following out his nature. Being a poet, he is what is called sympathetic, you know; and he wanted my appreciation and sympathy--I will not say applause."
She was standing with her back towards him. She now walked towards the door. But her courage failed, she sank into a chair and covered her face with her hands. "It is too much," she said. "You wait until I have lost my fortune and am overwhelmed; you wait until I am rejected, cast aside; and then you come and win from me an avowal of my love, telling me afterwards--_afterwards_"--Her voice broke, she burst into tears.
"Telling you afterwards nothing but that I love you. Telling you afterwards that I have not had one really happy moment since our conversation in this old house a year ago. Telling you afterwards that my life has resolved itself into but one unceasing, tormenting wish--the wish, Katharine, that you would love me, I suppose I ought to say a little, but I mean a great deal. Look at me; is this humble enough for you?"
He drew her hands away; she saw that he was kneeling at her feet; and, not only that, but she saw also something very like a mist in the gray eyes she had always thought too cold.
* * * * *
In the library of Mr. John Ford, near New York, there hangs in the place of honor a water-color sketch of an old yellow château. Beneath it, ranged by themselves, are all the works of that eloquent authoress and noble woman, Madame de Staël.
"You admire her?" said a visitor recently, in some surprise. "To me she always seemed a--a little antique, you know."
"She is antiquity itself! But she once lent me her house, and I am grateful. By-the-way, Katharine, I never told you, although I found it out afterwards: Benjamin Franklin understood English, after all."
THE END
* * * * *
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This typographical error was corrected by the etext transcriber:
Roberta overhead this attempt=>Roberta overheard this attempt
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Dorothy, and Other Italian StoriesChapter VI (6)
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