Chapter III: Part 3

The man wears evening dress for the theater. He should by no means appear in a tailless coat when acting as an escort for ladies, or when a guest in a party that includes ladies. He is permitted, however, to remove his gloves on arrival at the theater. The silk hat is often inconvenient for theater purposes, and for that reason the crush hat has been preferred. But this folding form of headgear has lost its vogue to a great extent, and there is a growing tendency toward the use of a black soft hat for such evening wear.

The more usual form of woman’s dress is not the decolleté of the ball-gown, but a less extreme style, with sleeves. It is, of course, of such elegance as to suit the occasion. But the low-neck and sleeveless gown is frequently to be seen, more especially in the boxes.

With the less formal costume, a hat is worn. This and the veil may be removed in the cloak-room, or, if the wrap is retained, it may be kept on until the seat is reached. The outer garment is then folded and laid over the back of the chair. After having seated herself, the woman then unpins her veil and removes it, together with the hat, and these are afterward held in the lap.

If the arrival at the theater is a little late, and the wraps are not left in the cloak-room, it is the part of good taste to remove them before passing down the aisle to the seats. Otherwise, their removal becomes an unpleasant interruption to those seated near by.

This same matter of consideration for the rights of others is the reason why it is necessary that the hats should be removed, since it would shut off the view of the stage from those seated behind. It should be borne in mind always, also, that this consideration for others should extend to the matter of conversation during the performance, which must be rigidly suppressed. Care ought to be taken in every respect lest there be an impolite intrusion on the rights of others.

If there is supper in a restaurant after the play, the wraps should be left in the cloak-room as a rule, but a woman may retain one of a sort that is not cumbersome, according to her pleasure. The hat is not removed for the meal. The veil may either be pushed up or taken off according to the individual preference. The gloves are removed after the party is seated at table, and kept in the lap under the napkin until the conclusion of the meal. They are put on again before leaving the table.

WEDDINGS

THE WEDDING-INVITATIONS are sent out fully two weeks before the marriage, at least, and they may be sent earlier, up to a limit of two months.

The invitation is engraved on white paper, of which there is a double sheet. The invitation itself must occupy only the first page. An average size is between seven and eight inches in length and about an inch less in width. Script is usually preferred. The invitation is folded once and placed in an unsealed envelope with the guest’s name written on it. Another envelope is used to contain this, on which are written both the name and address, and it is sealed for delivery by post or messenger.

It should be borne in mind that, while husband and wife are joined in a single invitation, other members of the family must be separately invited, except that more than one daughter may be included under the designation _The Misses ...................._, and similarly more than one son, _The Messrs. ...................._. Otherwise, a daughter receives an individual invitation, as does also a son.

In cities, on the occasion of church weddings where strangers often intrude, it is common to inclose with the invitation a small card inscribed:

_Please present this card at

the Church of the Incarnation

on Tuesday, June the first_

A standard form for the wording of the invitation is as follows:

_Mr. and Mrs. Henry L. Hudson

request the honor of your presence

at the marriage of their daughter

Harriet

to

Mr. James Meade Trowbridge

on Tuesday afternoon, June the first

at half-past three o’clock

The Church of the Incarnation

Baltimore_

The invitations are issued in the names of the bride’s parents, or, lacking them, in the name of her nearest relative, unless this should be an unmarried sister. When the invitations are issued by a brother, his name only may be used, even though he is married. But where the relation is a married woman, the name of the husband also appears on the invitations. Such invitations issued by some one other than the parents follow the form given above exactly, save that the full name of the bride must be given instead of her Christian name alone, and, of course, the proper relationship must be indicated by a word substituted for _daughter_.

It is usual, when the bride is a step-daughter, to specify the relationship in the invitation. Thus, in the form given above, if Harriet were the daughter of Mrs. Hudson by a previous marriage, the phrase would run, _at the marriage of Mrs. Hudson’s daughter, Harriet Blake Rothwell_. If she were the daughter of Mr. Hudson, the phrase would be, _at the marriage of Mr. Hudson’s daughter, Harriet_.

The invitations to either a wedding-breakfast or reception is inclosed with the invitation to the ceremony, but the engraved card is of the ordinary size.

_Mr. and Mrs. Henry L. Hudson

request the pleasure of

..........................

company

on Tuesday, June first

at half-past twelve o’clock

Thirty-six Fremont Avenue_

But often the name is omitted, and the invitation may read simply:

_Reception

From four o’clock

Thirty-six Fremont Avenue_

The initials _R.s.v.p._ may be used in the lower left-hand corner of either form.

The only essential difference in the form of the invitation to a home-wedding is that instead of asking for the _honor of your presence_, the request is for the _pleasure of your company_. Of course, the home-address must be given at the end, instead of the name of the church. When the ceremony is to be performed in the presence of only a limited number of friends, those who are to witness it receive with their invitation a small engraved card, inscribed _Ceremony at three o’clock_, or whatever the hour may be.

Announcement-cards, following the celebration of a quiet wedding, are sent out on the day of the marriage. The paper used is the same as that for the invitations.

_Mr. and Mrs. Henry L. Hudson

have the honor of announcing

the marriage of their daughter

Harriet

to

Mr. James Meade Trowbridge

on Tuesday, June the first

at the Church of The Incarnation_

A combination-card of bride and groom, with their address, and perhaps her at-home day, may be inclosed with the announcement.

If, for any reason, the announcement-cards are not issued by the bride’s relatives, they may be sent out by the engaged pair, using the bride’s maiden name

_Mr. George Hart Bagot

and

Miss Mary Elizabeth Peck

have the honor of announcing their marriage

on Monday, June the seventh

at the Church of The Incarnation

Albany_

Unless the invitation to a wedding carries the letters _R.s.v.p._, it does not require any reply, but an invitation to the reception or breakfast should be acknowledged by two visiting-cards, sent to the bride’s parents, when attendance is not possible or convenient. An acceptance or declination is written in the third person, and follows the corresponding form in reference to a dinner-invitation, with the necessary verbal change, substituting, _wedding-reception of their daughter_, for _dinner_.

No acknowledgment is required for announcement-cards; but it is well to call on, or leave cards for, the bride’s parents.

It is impossible to state exactly all the details in connection with the marriage-ceremony, since the variations in personal taste and circumstances are such that the wedding may be fittingly celebrated in almost regal state, with a dozen bridesmaids and everything else with like profusion, or the rite may be carried out with a plainness and simplicity that yet perhaps yields a significance more touching than that of the gorgeous spectacle. Each circle in every community has its own accepted traditions, and it is always better that these should be followed. The vagaries of fashion may often tempt its votaries to extravagances in following the fads and fancies of the moment. But there should be no frivolous tampering with the marriage rite, which is proclaimed as a sacrament by the church, and should be always esteemed as the most sacred act in the lives of those who thus make their covenants together.

It need only be added that for an evening wedding the bridegroom wears the regulation evening clothes, while for an hour earlier in the day his costume includes a frock-coat of black or dark blue, a black or white waistcoat, and striped trousers of a lighter shade than the coat. The scarf should be a white ascot, caught with a pearl pin.

He wears patent-leather shoes and gray suède gloves. A silk hat forms the headgear to accompany either the evening dress or the other.

A maiden bride should wear white and a veil of tulle with orange blossoms. The gown may be decolleté and sleeveless for an evening wedding. A woman who has been married before may wear any color pleasing to her, but not white, and she must not veil herself, nor display the orange blossoms. A train properly distinguishes the wedding-gown.

On receipt of an invitation to a wedding, any gift should be sent to the bride without delay. There is no obligation on the part of a merely formal acquaintance to send a gift when invited to a church wedding, but it is permissible. Such an obligation exists for one invited to the breakfast or reception, as well as one to be among a limited number present at the actual marriage on the occasion of a home wedding. Sometimes, those invited to a church wedding compromise by sending flowers.

The distinction between the maiden and the matron is again emphasized in the matter of the bouquet carried by the bride, which for the maiden should be of white flowers, such as lilies of the valley, while for the woman it must be at least touched with color—perhaps of orchids.

THERE is no royal road to learning.

IT is an old saying, and a true one, in a sense: for prince and peasant must alike travel the path.

YET, there are many paths, and great differences among them, as they lead to the temple of knowledge. In some, the going is easy: in some, hard. In some, the journeying is pleasant and profitable: in some, toilsome—a weary scramble over many stumbling blocks.

THE builder of the road is the teacher. It is his task to smooth the way, and to make it straight: or to leave it all cluttered, a twisted, haphazard course, that runs roughly and reaches nowhere.

IN the “Made Easy” Series, it has been the publisher’s purpose to provide for the student the best possible road to learning—a road truly royal in its simplicity, its worth: a road wide and direct, and free from foolish, needless litter.

THE various writers of the books in the series have been chosen for their special fitness. Such fitness includes, in the first place, mastery of the particular subject: in the second place, ability to interpret knowledge to others.

RIGHT teaching makes easy learning. Few subjects are really hard to learn, when properly set before the pupil. These volumes are the product of a painstaking care to simplify every detail of instruction, yet to make it complete. The result for the student is, indeed, a learning made easy, yet none the less exact, thorough, wholly adequate for his needs.

* * * * *

_The volumes now ready, or in the course of preparation_—price $1.00 each—are:

Arithmetic Made Easy
Spelling Made Easy
Penmanship Made Easy
Grammar Made Easy
Drawing Made Easy
Dressmaking Made Easy
Dancing Made Easy
Etiquette Made Easy
Keeping Young Made Easy
Love Letters Made Easy
Shorthand Made Easy
Bookkeeping Made Easy
Entertaining Made Easy
Tricks and Magic Made Easy
Mental Healing Made Easy

_Further titles will be added as opportunity presents itself to secure
the proper type of manuscript._

End of Project Gutenberg's Etiquette Made Easy, by Edward Summers Squier