Chapter IV

Retires to the Back Settlements in S. Carolina.--Teaches a School.
--Self-righteousness.--His Experience for Twelve Months.--
Despondency.--Reads Russell’s Seven Sermons.--Conversion and
firm Hope.--Removes to Georgia and Becomes a Teacher there.--
First Methodist Preachers in that Quarter.--Mr. Clark joins the
Society.

It was early in the month of March, 1785, that Mr. Clark, after much struggling of mind and conscience, came to the determination to quit the seas and become a religious man. The captain and hands were anxious he should remain, and make the voyage with them to London. The only defect they perceived in his character as a sailor and officer, was, his desponding temper, and singular habit of being much alone. None of his friends knew the nature of his troubles; none could sympathize with him; and had he known himself and the true nature of the Christian religion, he might have exclaimed with the ancient patriarch, “Miserable comforters are ye all.”[13] But he then had no clear views of gospel truth, nor how a holy and righteous God could justify and save a sinner consistent with his law which saith--“The soul that sinneth, it shall die.”[14] But he can best describe his own case in the language he left in the sketch before us.

“I have already mentioned being afflicted with that tormenting fear
that precedes repentance, and which is unspeakably great. Had I
then known as much of the gospel as I now do, I need not have made
such mistakes as I did, nor suffered the hundredth part I was made
to suffer. For I firmly believe that when an awakened sinner can
say with all his heart, ‘God be merciful to me a sinner,’ like the
publican,[15]; or with Saul of Tarsus, ‘Lord, what wilt thou have
me to do?’[16]; or in the language of one of our sweetest hymns,

‘Here, Lord, I give myself away;
’Tis all that I can do;[17]’

he is then in a state of salvation, though he may not have received
the spirit of adoption.[18]

“I had been in great distress as a sinner, off and on for more than
two years. At times I would be in the greatest distress, and have a
horror of conscience beyond description, and then it would wear off
and I would return to my sinful courses. The first of my permanent
conviction was while in the port of Charleston in March, 1785,
after I had engaged to make a voyage to London as second mate, when
I became continually alarmed, lest if I went to sea another voyage
I should never see land, nor the face of God in peace; my day of
grace would be past. In this awful distress of mind I obtained my
discharge, and under this salutary but distressing conviction, I
set out for the back settlement of South Carolina. On Saturday I
came to a tavern house near the Eutaw Spring, and told the family,
I made it a matter of conscience not to travel on the Sabbath, and
wished to tarry with them till Monday. But they misunderstood my
case, and got some of the neighbors to watch the house on Sunday
night; imagining I was a robber, and had accomplices to aid in
robbing the house. But I did not blame them, for I felt deeply my
wickedness against God, and appeared to my self worse than any
robber on earth.

“On Monday morning I fell in company with some backwoods people,
who had been to Charleston and were going to Fishing river
settlement on the frontiers. Both parties soon became well suited;
for I wanted to teach school, and they wanted a teacher. They
treated me kindly, and I went home with them, and in a few days
a school was made up, and I engaged to teach for them one year.
I now endeavored to abstain from every appearance of evil, read
the Scriptures, and prayed in secret several times in a day. I
was so far from knowing the gospel method of salvation, that,
notwithstanding the instruction given me in childhood, from the
Bible and the Presbyterian catechism, I sincerely thought that true
religion consisted only in outward reformation of conduct. My moral
and serious deportment surprised my employers, who were irreligious
and not over much righteous. They thought it very singular that a
man who had followed a sea-faring life, should be so humble and
religious, and often spoke of it. But they no more comprehended the
state of my mind, nor understood my case than they could lessons in
Latin, Greek, or Hebrew.

“I spared no pains to attain to the highest degree of
self-righteousness, and really thought that would stand by me
in the great day of final accounts. Yet notwithstanding all my
efforts, my besetting sins would return upon me with all their
force. The more I strove to be righteous, the stronger it seemed
my sins grew; and what is always an inseparable companion, despair
tormented me to such a degree that my life became an intolerable
burthen. After hearing my classes read in the Old and New
Testament, I often went out of my school-house to weep and pray.
I would go into a thicket, throw myself on the ground and cry for
mercy; yet for a twelve month I was trying to prepare myself that I
might deserve mercy. No pen can describe the horrible temptations
that beset me, and the sore trials that I experienced. My whole
life seemed to me to have been a series of the vilest actions,
words and thoughts imaginable. I had agreed to board round with the
scholars, but Mr. Andrew Love, a generous, kind-hearted gentleman,
offered to board me gratis. This gave me more time for reading,
and opportunity for retirement. At times, I thought I was so bad
the Almighty could not have mercy on me; and then it seemed as if
a curse hung over every thing I set my hand to do. It seemed to me
at times it was an imposition on the people for one so wicked, as I
regarded myself, to attempt to instruct the youth. I could blame no
person but myself. My life was a burden, and I often wished I could
be annihilated.

“It is a most laudable custom with the pious Presbyterians where
I was brought up, for all the family that can read, to spend the
Sabbath, when not at Church, in reading the Scriptures, and some
good religious book. But I even thought it wrong for such a sinful
person as I was to look into a good book; and such books were very
scarce in Fishing river settlement. I made inquiry for such books,
and one of my employers sent me ‘Russells’s Seven Sermons.’ I
ventured to read the discourse on the sin against the Holy Ghost,
though with a very trembling heart. But the happy change that came
over my mind tongue cannot express. It was the mere glimmerings of
hope that through Jesus Christ there was mercy for me. I now felt
a degree of reconciliation to God that I cannot describe. I knew
before my heart was enmity against God, and at times I felt angry
that God would not have mercy on me. I was now astonished beyond
expression how I could have had such feelings, and what had become
of my sinful nature. My past sins, which seemed to be unpardonable,
were gone, and it seemed that nothing but love to God and man
had been left in their place. Although I had been taught from my
infancy the doctrine of salvation through the merits of Christ, yet
I never before believed truly in his divine merits and gracious
intercession, but held on to my own righteousness; and yet I was
rationally convinced I had none, and I learned by bitter experience
I could get none by my own working.”

Mr. Clark now enjoyed peace of conscience and faith in the Lord Jesus, yet for some time he did not know this was a state of salvation. He had learned this lesson, that no man can say that Jesus is the Lord but by the Holy Ghost.[19] But it was several years after, as he grew in knowledge and the grace of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,[20] that he became established in faith and hope, and for more than forty years, he had no doubts of divine acceptance.

The inquiry was once made of a shrewd, old Scots divine, “What is the _best_ evidence of a gracious state?” The prompt reply was, “Forty years close walk with God.” Our old friend gave this evidence and something over. According to his own narrative which we have copied, his experience of a great and gracious deliverance from the bondage of sin (which he always ascribed to the mighty agency of the Holy Ghost,) took place in March, 1786; just one year after he left ship-board in Charleston. He lived to the autumn of 1833; the period of more than forty-seven years; and during the whole time, without any drawing back, he exhibited daily living evidence of the wonderful and gracious change he experienced. He was remarkable for meekness, humility, and godly fear, and yet he never expressed a doubt of his adoption.

We do not find in his narrative any account of religious meetings, or that he heard any one preach for more than a year; nor can we find any evidence of any church having been organized in this remote settlement, by any denomination. His school, which had been a large one, closed a few weeks after he met with the change by which he passed from death to life. About that period the country south of the Savannah river, now in the middle part of Georgia, was new, and attracted the attention of a large immigration from Virginia, and Mr. Clark supposed the work of surveyors would be in demand. He thought he might obtain a contract, and then look out and purchase land for a farm and settle down for life. But he piously observes, after nearly half a century had past away, “The Author of all events had a higher and more responsible calling than any that occurred to my mind, and that was to preach the gospel.”

He went to Georgia, to the country on Broad river, a branch of the Savannah, some where in the region of the present counties of Elbert, Wilkes, Oglethorpe and Madison, then all new, and to which immigration was rapidly tending. But he found no demand for surveying, and again took up a school, near Colonel Wootten’s residence on Broad river. A school was raised in the following manner. The teacher, after consulting some of the heads of families, and learning the probability that a sufficient number of pupils could be obtained to justify the engagement, on his part, drew up an article in the neatest style of penmanship he could, forming a contract between himself and the signers; he engaging to teach the branches named, at a certain rate per quarter, and they engaging to pay him a specified sum at the close of each term. The subscribers would put opposite their names the number of scholars they engaged to pay for, and if they sent more, the expense would be in proportion; if less, they were still bound to pay their subscriptions. A popular teacher would soon have a third more scholars than at first subscribed. This mode of contract for teaching the common English branches has been almost universal through the south-western States, and prevails to this day. In some instances two or three persons will make a contract with a teacher, and bind themselves to pay a salary, and then look to their neighbors to aid in making up the school.

The school houses, if that term be applicable to the most inferior of the whole race of “log-cabins,” were constructed of rough, unhewn logs, with a chimney of sticks and clay at one end; the door-way in front, and the shutter, if it had one, made of split slabs or boards. A log cut out of one side left an aperture for a window, and a slab placed under it, running the length of the room answered the purpose of a writing-desk. The floor was of earth and seldom cleansed. The surrounding forest, in the border of which this rough cabin was located, furnished ample supplies of fuel, and a spring of water near poured out the refreshing and primitive draught for the thirsty pupils.

About the time Mr. Clark began his school, as he states,

“Two Methodist preachers, by name of John Major and Thomas
Humphries, formed a circuit in those parts, and preached at Col.
Wootten’s house, where I boarded. They pleased me so well that I
joined them.”

Turning to the Minutes of the Methodist Conference, we find the names of these ministers placed on the Georgia circuit for 1786.[21] Their labors were abundant and efficient, and several societies were formed in that part of Georgia.