Chapter X: Part II: LETTER No. VII (3)

The following is taken from the biennial message of W. M. Budd, Governor of Idaho, and, I fancy, fairly represents the general feeling of the United States Government on this very important question at this time:—

"POLYGAMOUS AND TREASONOUS MORMONISM.

"While the constitution of our nation guarantees to every person of
whatever birth, rank, or condition, past or present, a generous
freedom in his own thoughts and religious convictions, not only the
common law pronounces against adultery, bigamy, and polygamy, but
every consideration of safety urges against permitting a
self-proclaimed enemy to harbour within our fold while he gathers
strength to strike at our life with the venom he already possesses.
It becomes you to approach the discussion of this malignant
mischief, that has retarded the Territory in the past and threatens
such disaster for the future, with brave and grave deliberation. If
you decide after careful investigation, as I have decided, that
there can be no harmony between virtue and such monstrous vice; that
either—and that at no distant day—pure, moral Christianity, that is
such from fear of God, love of Christ and hope of heaven, or this
leprous legacy of barbarity and sensual riot must possess the land
to the exclusion of the other, then I say, it is not merciful to
temporize with the blow that must be struck to free this Territory
of this social plague and political curse. Polygamous and treasonous
Mormonism stalks wantonly, insolently, and blatantly through this
Territory, to the shame and degradation of every Christian woman and
every man with a love for law and a regard for decency. Crime under
the guise of religion is a hundred fold worse than under the banner
of Satan. The leaders, owners, and bidder of this unholy,
licentious, and treasonable institution are saints to glut their own
vile and selfish purposes. Selfishness, which sees in the world only
a mirror just large enough to reflect itself, writes in their case,
as it always has written, a story of cant, hypocrisy, falsehood,
deceit, fraud, and violence; and the inevitable logic of events,
which is stronger than all the sins that infamy, greed, and
selfishness are heir to, will write the invariable sequel:
detection, retribution, expiation, and the felon's cell. These
law-breakers mock and scoff the power of this great government,
abuse our free institutions, and bedraggle our flag in the muck and
mire of their offences. The guilty may be brought to bay and to
justice even at the time when they imagine themselves most strongly
entrenched. The Mormon leaders were never more defiant than at this
peculiar and particular time. I conjure you to do your utmost toward
destroying the polluting practices of this seditious organization.
Suppress these licentious saints with their plural marriages, and so
wipe away the fetid blotch upon this Territory, that is a stench in
the nostrils of all the honest humanity within our borders. I advise
the enactment of such laws and amendments as shall make effective
the laws of God and man regarding adultery, bigamy, and polygamy,
and compel loyalty to the nation and respect for the flag."

"ARTICLES OF FAITH OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS.

"1. We believe in God the Eternal Father, and in His Son Jesus
Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.

"2. We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not
for Adam's transgression.

"3. We believe that through the atonement of Christ all mankind may
be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.

"4. We believe that these ordinances are: first, Faith in the Lord
Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for
the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of
the Holy Ghost.

"5. We believe that a man must be called of God by 'prophecy and by
the laying on of hands,' by those who are in authority, to preach
the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.

"6. We believe in the same organization that existed in the
primitive church, viz., apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers,
evangelists, &c.

"7. We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation,
visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, &c.

"8. We believe the Bible to be the word of God, as far as it is
translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the
Word of God.

"9. We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now
reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and
important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.

"10. We believe in the literal gathering of Israel, and in the
restoration of the Ten Tribes. That Zion will be built upon this
continent. That Christ will reign personally upon the earth, and
that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.

"11. We claim the privilege of worshipping Almighty God according to
the dictates of our conscience, and allow all men the same
privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

"12. We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and
magistrates, in obeying, honouring, and sustaining the law.

"13. We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous,
and in doing good to _all men_: indeed, we may say that we follow
the admonition of Paul, 'We believe all things, we hope all things,'
we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all
things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or
praiseworthy, we seek after these things.—JOSEPH SMITH."

This is all very well as far as it goes, but I find nothing about polygamy here, and I learn elsewhere that—

"According to Mormon theology, God the Father, the Supreme Jehovah,
became man in the form of Adam, and thus became the father of the
human race. He is thus represented as a being of parts such as we
are. And all true and faithful Mormons who live up to their
privileges, who take many wives, and who beget many children, will
in the process of time become gods to all those who spring from
them. Brigham Young was regarded as God by some of his followers
even before his death."

In walking down Main Street I came to a great crowd opposite the court-house. I was curious to know what was going on, and to see the interior of a law court in a Mormon city, but the staircase was so completely blocked that I could not get in. On inquiry I learned that a murderer named Hopt was receiving his sentence, and that three Mormons were being tried for polygamy.

The court, in passing sentence on Hopt, said "The penalty of the crime for which you have been convicted is death, and must be inflicted by hanging you by the neck, or by shooting you, at your discretion. Which mode of death do you elect shall be inflicted upon you?"

HOPT—"I choose to be shot."

Shortly afterwards, going down the same street, I came upon another great crowd round a photographer's, and I was told that immediately after Hopt had received his sentence he had been conveyed here to have his portrait taken. Whether this was at his "own discretion," or by order of the authorities, I could not ascertain.

Salt Lake City has a population of 30,000 inhabitants, of whom 25,000 are "Latter-day Saints," and 5,000 Gentiles, and just now the Gentiles seem to be making the city too hot for the saints. I was told that several of the leading men, including President Taylor, were wanted by the city marshals on the score of polygamy, but could not be found; and that one hundred polygamists are now in "The Pen," undergoing six months' imprisonment (and a fine of 300 dollars and costs) for refusing to part with their surplus wives.

Of the three men sentenced this day, the first was a policeman named Smith, who stood to his colours, as will be seen.

"THE COURT—Your name is Andrew Smith, I believe.

"MR. SMITH—Yes, sir.

"THE COURT—You have been found guilty of the crime of unlawful
cohabitation, and this morning was fixed upon for your sentence.
Have you anything to say why this sentence of the law should not be
pronounced in accordance with the verdict—have you anything further
to say?

"MR. SMITH then said, in a firm, clear voice—If your honour please:
I have been placed on trial here for living in the practice of my
religion, which I do not intend to relinquish, under any
circumstances whatever, and I have no promises to make. Therefore, I
am prepared to receive the judgment of the court. I cannot under any
circumstances give up any principle of my religion. My religion is
worth everything to me, or it is worth nothing, and I am prepared to
receive any judgment you may see fit to pronounce. That is about
all, I believe.

"THE COURT—I understand you to state by inference that you
understand your religion authorizes you and makes it your duty to
practice polygamy and unlawful cohabitation?

"MR. SMITH—That is a part and portion of my religion.

"THE COURT—Yes, and I suppose from what you state also that it makes
it your duty to advise others, so far as you give any advice at all,
to practise that?

"MR. SMITH—I have not been an adviser, sir, but that is my feeling.
I am not much of a preacher; but my religion is worth everything to
me. As I said before, I could not sacrifice that under any
consideration whatever.

"THE COURT—Well, I have so often stated here from this bench that
polygamy and unlawful cohabitation are crimes under the laws of the
United States that it is hardly worth while to state it again. I
presume you understand that they are both defined as crimes, and you
must realize that you are not to determine what the laws of the
United States are for yourself, contrary to the tribunals selected
to interpret and construe the laws and to enforce them. In view of
your statements the law makes it my duty to impose upon you such a
penalty as may possibly reform you and may tend to deter others from
like crimes against society. The object of this law is to protect
society, and it is my duty to enforce that law so far as the law
gives me my discretion, and use the discretion which I possess so as
to accomplish the purpose and to reach the end intended by the law.
You are sentenced in the penalty of a term of six months, and to pay
a fine of 300 dollars and costs. You will also stand committed until
the fine and costs are paid."

The next defendant was evidently a gentleman of considerable standing in the city.

"As the name of John Nicholson was called, there was a buzz of
interest which subsided into a breathless silence as that gentleman
stood up under the judge's gaze.

"THE COURT—Mr. Nicholson, I suppose it is hardly necessary for me to
state to you—you are already advised that the jury found you guilty
of the crime of unlawful cohabitation. Have you anything further to
say why sentence of the law should not be pronounced against you?

"MR. NICHOLSON—If your honour please: I will take advantage of the
privilege that the court affords me of stating my position before
the court from my own standpoint. I have been connected with the
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for about a quarter of a
century. I accepted its doctrines, including the law that is called
in the church 'celestial marriage,' which includes plurality of
wives. At the time that I entered upon that relationship I had not
the slightest idea that I was infringing upon or acting in
contravention to any law made in pursuance of the constitution of
the country, the supreme law of the land. I entered into that
relation in 1871, and, to give the court an idea of my position in
reference to the law, I will illustrate it by stating that when the
Reynolds case was offered in order to test the constitutionality of
the statute of 1862, enacted against polygamy, at the request of the
defendant in that suit I went upon the stand and testified for the
prosecution that a conviction might be obtained. There is no need
for me to state to your honour that the essence of a crime is the
intent to commit it. There could be no intention on my part to
commit a crime in entering into the relationship which I have
mentioned.

"Years afterwards the Edmunds' law was enacted, which made my status
criminal—that is to say, from my standpoint—my conduct was made by
it _malum prohibitum_, because in my opinion it cannot be made
_malum in se_. That law requires that I should give up a vital
principle of my religion, and discard at least a portion of my
family, and consequently disrupt my family organization.

"This places me, as your honour will perceive, in a very painful
position: because I have a large family, and the ties which bind
them to myself are sacred, and the affection which I entertain for
them is deep, and I do not think that these ties can possibly be
severed by any law of whatever character it may be, or from whatever
source it may spring; because there are sentiments and feelings that
are engendered in the human heart that the law cannot touch. I will
say here, also, that the lady who would have been the principal
witness in this case, had I not testified against myself, stated to
me that she would decline to testify against me, or do anything that
would have the effect of sending me to prison. And now, after such
an exhibition of devotion to me on her part, the bare contemplation
of cutting her adrift is revolting to my soul, and I could not do
it.

"People's ideas differ in regard to what constitutes religion. Some
hold that it is merely sentiment and faith, and does not necessarily
embody action. I differ from this view; and I have always been bold
to express my opinions on every subject without fear, favour, or
hope of reward. I am of the opinion expressed by the Apostle James,
who stated that faith without works is dead. The religion that I
believe in is a religion that finds expression in action.

"I am aware of the attitude of the court, and I presume of the
country, towards the peculiar institution of religion in the Church
with which I am identified, and which I have honestly accepted and
have honestly practised. It is held that this conjugal relationship
threatens the existence of monogamous marriage. must say that,
judging from the attitude of this court, which represents, I
presume, the attitude of the nation, and in view of the assaults
that are made on plural marriage, it appears to me that there is not
very much ground for apprehension of danger in that respect.

"It is also true that some people hold that my relations in a family
capacity are adulterous. From my point of view, however, I have the
consoling reflection that I am in excellent company, including
Moses, the enunciator, under God, of the principles which constitute
the foundation of modern jurisprudence.

"Not to weary the court, I will simply say that my purpose is fixed,
and I hope unalterable. It is, that I shall stand by my allegiance
to God, fidelity to my family, and what I conceive to be my duty to
the constitution of the country, which guarantees the fullest
religious liberty to the citizen.

"I thank your honour for bearing with me, and will now simply
conclude by stating that I am prepared to receive the pleasure of
the court.

"MR. NICHOLSON spoke in a low, but clear and deliberate tone, which
was maintained without variation to the close. The manner, as much
as the matter of his speech, clearly prepossessed all hearers in his
favour, and even the judge was impressed by it."

It will be seen from these examples that there is a strong determination on the part of the United States' government to root out polygamy, and there also seems to be an equally firm determination of the Mormons to stand by this, which they regard as an essential article of faith.

After a long address from the judge, Mr. Nicholson and the other polygamists received the same sentence as Smith, and were all driven off to the Penitentiary.

It may be added that a Bill now before Congress is of a still more stringent character. I quote the following from a recent evening paper:—

"The Bill provides that all marriages in the Territories shall be
certified in writing by the minister and contracting parties,
compels the testimony of the husband or wife of the accused in
prosecutions for polygamy, prescribes punishment for adultery in
Utah, and abolishes the present limitation of prosecutions for
adultery to the complaint of husband or wife. It also abolishes
female suffrage, takes away the general jurisdiction of the Utah
probate courts, and annuls the territorial law about the capacity of
illegitimate children to inherit property. The Bill further attacks
the Mormon Church by giving the President of the United States
authority to appoint trustees to take charge of its temporal
affairs, and annuls the Mormon emigration fund, prohibiting the
re-establishment of any such corporation for importing Mormons, all
funds being forfeited for the benefit of a school fund in Utah."

We paid a visit to the Tabernacle, the Temple, and Assembly Hall. We were politely received by the superintendent, who showed us round in the usual way. The wonderful acoustic properties of the Tabernacle, by which a pin dropped at one end of the great building can be distinctly heard at the other, were pointed out. I quote the following brief statistics about these buildings, only remarking that, judged by present appearances, the Temple is not likely to be completed for many years:—

Tabernacle: This building is 233 feet long, 133 feet wide, and 70
feet high. It has 20 doors of 9 feet wide. In case of an accident an
audience of 10,000 people can be cleared out in a few minutes.
Seating capacity, 12,000.

Temple: The corner-stone was laid April 12th, 1853, and amount
expended in construction to March 12th, 1884, $2,500,000. It is 200
by 800 feet. Height of walls, 100 feet. Middle tower on either end
will be 200 feet high.

Assembly Hall: Dimensions of building, 120 by 68 feet. Seating
capacity, 2,500. Cost, $150,000. Services every Sunday at 2 p.m. The
ceiling is divided off into sixteen panels of different shape and
design, each panel having some fresco painting; one of them is a
rather gaudy-looking historical painting of "The angel Moroni
showing the prophet Joseph where the plates were hid in the hill
Cumorah."

Bee-Hive, Lion, and Gardo Houses: One block east of the Temple, the
latter block now occupied by President John Taylor.

Streets: There are nearly 100 miles of streets in Salt Lake City.
They run with the four points of the compass. Each street is 132
feet wide, including the side-walks, and nearly all are bordered
with shade trees. A small stream of water also flows down each side
of many streets.

Total population of Utah in 1880, 143,965. Population of Salt Lake
City is about 30,000.

Value of Utah's mineral production in 1884 is estimated at
$9,301,508.

Great Salt Lake is nearly 100 miles long by 60 miles wide, with
average depth of 40 feet.

In the afternoon we drove round the city and suburbs, and up to Fort Douglas, a well-built full-regiment post, situated on a plateau three miles east of the city. It is well laid out, and the officers' quarters, in charming little villas embowered in creepers and green foliage, are exceedingly pleasant to look at.

Our driver was an Englishman, a thirty-years' resident, who had married a Mormon wife (now dead), but he was careful to tell us that he was and always had been a Gentile, though for the sake of peace and quietness, and, in the early days, personal safety, he had duly paid his "tithing." He prided himself in having driven Hepworth Dixon during his stay here, and in having "introduced" Lord Carrington to President Taylor! The stories he volunteered to tell us were perhaps more facetious than veracious.

I will only add that the city in its outward appearance has left a most favourable impression on me—it is pleasantly situated at the foot of the Wasatch Mountains, which rise on the east to a height of from 10,000 to 12,000 feet, and are covered with snow nearly all the year. The city occupies a series of terraces, and, with its houses half hidden in shade and fruit-trees, it presents the appearance of a beautiful green oasis in the midst of a desert.

LETTER No. XV.

Leave for Cheyenne—"Rock Springs"—Murder of Chinese—Mr. Black's
"Green Pastures" and bottle of champagne—"Hell upon Wheels"—Big
Horn Cowboy and Milord.

_Cheyenne, Oct., 1885._

We left Salt Lake City by the Union Pacific Railway on Wednesday at 7.50 a.m., and we reached Cheyenne at 10.30 a.m. on Thursday. It is impossible for me to describe or even to mention the many objects of interest and points of beautiful scenery through which this line passes. How can one describe in a few hurried words such scenes as those to be found in "The Echo Cañon," "The Devil's Gate," "The Devil's Gate Mountain," and "The Devil's Slide"?[6] The makers of this road, or the early pioneers, seem to have had a great liking for his black majesty, or they would not have given his name to such splendid scenery.

Footnote 6:

It will be remembered that the Devil has another slide in the
Yellowstone Park.

About two hundred miles east of Ogden we passed a place called "Rock Springs," where a number of Chinamen had been brutally massacred by white miners a week or two before.

Two Chinamen had taken up a white man's "chamber," and when ordered out the Chinamen went at them with their picks. A general battle ensued, in which two men were shot. At night their village was set fire to, and it was said that several Chinamen in trying to escape from the fire were shot down by the miners, and about fifteen others perished in the flames.

Soldiers from the nearest fort were sent for, and several miners were arrested, but it was found impossible to get sufficient evidence to convict them. The Chinese Consul from Washington had just been there investigating the brutal affair, and was returning in the same train with us.

In Mr. William Black's "Green Pastures and Piccadilly" there is an interesting description of Cheyenne as it was some twelve years ago. There was a time, not long previous to Mr. Black's visit, when this now thriving little city had earned for itself the name of "Hell upon Wheels," and I was told by an inhabitant who lived there then, when the Union Pacific Railway was being made, and the city comprised a long row of saloon tents, that bowie knives and six-shooters were freely used in the settlement of disputes, and that three or four murders a week were the average, to say nothing of fights with Sioux Indians.

Cheyenne had settled down from these exciting times when Mr. Black arrived there, and he found "nothing about its outward appearance to entitle anyone to call it 'Hell on Wheels.'"

"Certainly," he says, "the Cheyenne we saw was far from being an
exciting place; there was not a single corpse lying at any of the
saloon doors, nor any duel being fought in the street."

Of the outskirts of Cheyenne, he says:—

"The odd fashion in which shanties and sheds—with some private
houses here and there—are dotted down anyhow on the plain; their
temporary look; the big advertisements; the desolate and homeless
appearance of the whole place, all serve to recall the dismal scene
that is spread around the Grand Stand on Epsom Downs on the morning
after Derby Day, when the revellers have all returned to town.... We
drove out to a lake which will no doubt form an ornamental feature
in a big park, when the Black Hill miners, gorged with wealth, come
back to make Cheyenne a great city."

Mr. Black will be pleased to know that his prophecy has been, to some extent, fulfilled.

Cheyenne is now a most pleasant city. The big park has been formed; the streets are broad, and lined with trees; the houses are well-built; there are stores there which would almost rival Whiteley's or Shoolbred's in the magnitude and variety of their contents, and perhaps surpass them in their outward appearance. The outskirts are now dotted, I might rather say crowded, with very charming "Queen Anne" villas, surrounded by well-laid-out lawns, flower-beds, and creeping foliage, reminding one not so much of Epsom Downs, as of that æsthetic suburb of London known as Bedford Park, only that the houses are larger and better built, and in their furniture display an exuberance of wealth and good taste. There are two fine hotels, several churches and chapels, and a delightful little club-house, where we were most hospitably entertained.

I may add that the place has none of the appearance of vulgar show which "Black Hill miners, gorged with wealth," might be supposed to have given to it; on the contrary, it has an air of quiet respectability not to be seen in many other western cities. The inhabitants are well-educated people, musical and social, and amongst them is a large community of well-bred English people.

As I have a personal interest in the matter, I will venture to give another extract from "Green Pastures and Piccadilly."

Mr. Black says that—

"As he was unanimously requested by his party to pay a tribute of
gratitude to the clean and comfortable inn at the station, he must
now do so; only he must also confess that he was bribed, for the
good-natured landlord was pleased, as we sat at supper, to send in
to us, with his compliments, a bottle of real French champagne. Good
actions should never go unrewarded; so the gentle reader is most
earnestly entreated, the first time he goes to Cheyenne, to stay at
this inn and give large orders. Moreover, the present writer not
wishing to have his conduct in this particular regarded as being too
mercenary, would wish to explain that the bottle of champagne in
question was, as was subsequently discovered, charged for in the
bill and honestly paid for too; but he cannot allow the landlord to
be deprived of all credit for his hospitable intentions merely on
account of an error on the part of the clerk."

Just before I left England, and knowing that I contemplated a visit to the Rockies, Mr. Black was good enough to request me to look into his book and to see, from the circumstances, as quoted above, whether I was not fairly entitled to have that bottle of champagne produced: he also desired me to present his compliments to a "very pretty Scotch lassie" at the hotel.

Of course I pursued the inquiry; I had by chance stayed at this very hotel, but I ascertained, alas! that poor old Jones, the good-natured landlord, had long since made his pile in the good old times when he could charge crowds of passengers a dollar and a half for their meals instead of (as now) seventy-five cents only: had retired to a farm somewhere in Idaho; had died, and left an enormous fortune to his widow. I may also inform Mr. Black that "the pretty Scotch lassie" is now the mother of a large family somewhere up in the mountains.

The inn has become the property of the Union Pacific, and is, in fact, one of the dining stations of that enterprising company. I regret to say that the intelligent and civil manager, though perfectly acquainted with the circumstances (through having read "Green Pastures" in a ten cent edition), did not feel it to be a part of his duty to his employers to hand over to me the bottle of champagne, notwithstanding the credentials I presented. He did not, however, raise the slightest objection when I invited him to join me and my friend M. in drinking to the health of the writer of "Green Pastures," to the wealthy widow of the departed Jones, and to "the pretty Scotch lassie," wherever she may be.

A local newspaper thus, somewhat erroneously, recorded our visit to this city:—

"A. B. and C. D., two Englishmen who have been travelling around the
world, stopped off yesterday morning, and are guests at The Pacific.
They had letters of introduction to Jones(!), the former landlord of
the hotel, and had been told that Cheyenne was 'Hell on Wheels.'
They are disappointed."

In these western parts it is a dangerous thing sometimes to refuse a "drink," and to offer to pay for it is a mortal offence. I was told that in Cheyenne even the cowboys, with their big whips, broad-brimmed felt hats, and hip-joint boots, were a superior, well-educated class, who had a large reading-room, crowded of an evening with men who could hold their own on any subject, political, social, or literary; and that there were among them good mathematicians, and even classical scholars.

The following cutting from "The Cheyenne Democrat" exhibits the cowboy in another light:—

"HE DRANK.

"MILORD HAS AN ADVENTURE WITH A BIG HORN COWBOY AND A BIG HORN.

"Editor Becker, of the Big Horn 'Sentinel,' tells a good story of a
nobby and snobby milord, of British extraction, who travelled from
Big Horn with him and Abe Idelman on the stage-coach early this
week. Milord was excessively exclusive. He wouldn't be social, and
spoke to no one except the two 'John Henry' servants he had with
him, and was altogether as unpleasant as his snobbishness could make
him. At a dinner station there were a lot of jolly cowboys on a
lark, and one of them 'treating' everybody asked the Englishman to
drink. Of course, milord haughtily refused. The cowboy displayed a
dangerous-looking six-shooter, and very impressively insisted on his
drinking.

"'But I cawn't, you know. I don't drink, you know,' was milord's
reply.

"Mr. Cowboy brought the muzzle in dangerous proximity to the knot in
which milord's brains were supposed to lie hidden somewhere, and
then he said he'd drink—he'd take soda water, you know.

"'Soda water nuthin,' said Mr. Cowboy. 'You'll take straight
whiskey.'

"'But, aw, this American whiskey, I cawn't swallow it, you know.'

"'Well,' said the cowboy, 'I'll make a hole in the side of your head
so that we can pour it in,' and he began to draw down on milord, and
milord said—

"'Aw, that'll do; I'll drink it.'

"Then the cowboy invited milord's servants to drink, which horrified
him.

"'They don't drink, you know,' he said.

"'Well, we'll see whether they do or not,' said Mr. Cowboy. 'The
chances are you don't give 'em a "hopportunity." Come up here, you
fellows, and guzzle some,' and the two 'John Henrys,' with a little
show of reluctance, but really glad to get a drink, came up, and the
cowboy passed a tumbler full of torchlight procession whiskey for
milord, and the servants poured for themselves. Then the cowboy made
the 'John Henrys' clink glasses with milord, and all drank, and
there was great fun. Milord tried after that to be very jolly, and
the stimulant assisted him decidedly. But in the coach he fell back
into his exclusiveness and retained it throughout, and has probably
got it yet.

"Now the fact is that, abstractly, the cowboy was wrong in forcing a
man to drink who had no desire to do so. But, on the other hand,
snobbishness is not the proper thing in this country, and sensible
men generally try, while in Rome, to do as Rome does. At any rate,
they don't make themselves offensive to the country in which they
are travelling."

LETTER No. XVI.

We leave Cheyenne—Arrival at Omaha—The barber's shop—Narrow escape
from having my head shaved—Arrival at Chicago—Niagara Falls.

_New York, Nov., 1885._

I have already told you that I am not writing a book of travels, but merely recording my impressions by the way; these have already occupied far more space than I had ever contemplated, and as we are now approaching the more beaten tracks of civilization, I will hasten on to a conclusion.

We left Cheyenne on Friday morning at 10.30, and after a continuous run of 516 miles, we "stopped off" at Omaha for a few hours at 10.30 on Saturday morning. Omaha is a great rambling city of 60,000 inhabitants on the western bank of the Missouri. Council Bluffs is an equally flourishing city on the eastern bank.

My chief recollection of Omaha is the barber's shop whither I went to get shaved. I had tried to shave myself in the train, but had contrived instead to gash my cheek sufficiently to cause much bloodshed. When the barber had finished shaving me, I asked him just to trim my hair the least bit in the world. He was an hour and a quarter over the job, and as I had been travelling continuously for twenty-four hours with little or no sleep, I fell asleep under his hands. Luckily, I was woke up by an unusual tickling at the back of my head; he was lathering me there, and I am quite sure he meant to shave the whole of my head.

"Confound it," I shouted; "what are you doing?"

"I was only going to shave the back of your head," he said.

I found to my horror that my whiskers had entirely disappeared, and he had not only cut my hair as closely as it could be cut with a pair of scissors, but he had run it over with a sort of small horse-clipper. I caught him in time to stop the further operation of shaving. Judging by the many naked polls I afterwards saw in the hotel, I concluded that it is the fashion in Omaha to go about with your head shaved. It is a compliment, I suppose, which those who have hair pay to the bald-headed ones.

The Omaha barber has quite destroyed the youthful appearance which I flattered myself I had acquired since I have been travelling on this Continent.

My friend M., when I came out of that terrible barber's hands, passed me by without knowing me; and when at last he began to have a suspicion that the bald individual before him was I, he exclaimed, "What on earth have you been doing? An hour and a quarter of our precious time have you wasted in that barber's shop, and you come out like a bald-headed boiled lobster. Our friends in Chicago, Boston, and New York certainly won't know you."

Time the destroyer is also a happy restorer, and now while I am writing, a fortnight after the event, my whiskers have already given indication of a returning crop, and my hair has grown long enough to enable me to identify myself. I trust that after the sea voyage, and when I get home, my wife will also be able to identify me. The rascal charged me seventy-five cents (three shillings) for this personal disfigurement.

I was very glad to get away from Omaha the same day at 5.30 p.m. We travelled by the Chicago and Rock Island line, and we reached Chicago, a distance of 500 miles, the next afternoon at three o'clock.

On Monday it rained in torrents all day, and Tuesday was not much better. On Tuesday night at 8.40 I started for Boston, leaving my friend M. behind for two or three days. This was the first time we had separated since we started together from Euston on our outward journey.

The line I now travelled on was "The Michigan Central." About seven o'clock next morning we reached Niagara, where the train stopped a few minutes to give us a look at "The Falls."

As I have no more superlative adjectives left in my vocabulary, I will tell you what the "Michigan Central" has to say about Niagara. It far surpasses my most sublime efforts.

"THE NIAGARA FALLS ROUTE.

"'So long as the waters of that mighty river thunder down to the
awful depths below, so long as the rush and roar, the surge and
foam, and prismatic spray of nature's cataphractic masterpiece
remain to delight and awe the human soul, thousands and tens of
thousands of beauty-lovers and grandeur-worshippers will journey
over the only railroad from which it can be seen. _There is but one
Niagara Falls on earth, and but one direct great railway to it._'

"Trains stop at Falls View, near the brink of the Horseshoe Fall,
where the finest view is obtainable without leaving the cars, cross
the gorge of Niagara river on the great steel, double-track
Cantilever Bridge, the greatest triumph of modern engineering, and
connect in Union Depots, at Niagara Falls and Buffalo with the New
York Central and Hudson River, the only four-track railroad in the
world."