Chapter I: Front Matter

Transcriber’s Note.

A jump in the narrative between pages 25 and 26 suggests some text
was lost in the printing process. A note has been inserted at the
appropriate location.

Italic text is indicated with _underscores_, bold text with =equals=.
Small/mixed capitals have been replaced with ALL CAPITALS.

Evident typographical and punctuation errors have been corrected
silently. Inconsistent hyphenation has been normalised.

"One got lost, one got hung" in the verse on page 39 is as published,
but may be a misquote.

A reference to "reece monkey" on page 17 has been corrected to
"rhesus monkey".

A Table of Contents has been added by the transcriber.

Illustration captions have been placed between chapters to improve text
flow.

Green Room
Gossip

By ARCHIBALD HADDON

Crown 8vo. Cloth. =6s. 0d.= net.

A notable book on the contemporary theatre by the well-known dramatic critic of “The Daily Express.” All the principal happenings of the London Stage during the last few years are discussed with astonishing freedom of expression. One of its most attractive features is a considerable number of vivacious pen-sketches of leading actors and actresses in their dressing-rooms. Another section “When the Censor Nods” deals with certain notorious productions which startled London playgoers. The book being indexed is a useful work of reference.

LONDON: STANLEY PAUL & CO.

31, ESSEX STREET, W.C.2.

FROM SAWDUST TO WINDSOR CASTLE

BY

“WHIMSICAL WALKER”

(_The famous Drury Lane Clown_)

With eight full page half-tone illustrations

LONDON:
STANLEY PAUL & CO.
31, ESSEX STREET, STRAND, W.C.2

_First published in 1922_

TABLE OF CONTENTS

CHAPTER I

My father and mother. My mother dies and my father marries again. A
bad time with stepmother. When nine years old I run away. My first
“engagement.” Odd experiences. I try to be a photographer and come
to grief. Another engagement--“A living head without a body.” With
Bedell’s show at Whitby. My first “panto” part. How I got to London.
I make the acquaintance of Morris Abrahams, who sends me home. Am
engaged by Pablo Fangue, the circus proprietor. My training. Thanks
to my face I am made a clown. Pablo Fangue an admirable master.

CHAPTER II

I tramp from Bristol to London with my properties. A one-day show
with the “Retort” Circus at the Crystal Palace. The seats collapse.
I join Croueste and Nella’s Circus. A “double somersault over five
horses by the Little Clown.” An unexpected catastrophe. How I
“performed” on the slack rope. With Powell and Clarke at Southampton.
The preacher and the monkey. I appear at the Theatre Royal,
Manchester, for a benefit at Sanger’s Circus. A lion in my dressing
room! Practical joking among circus lads. Am tired of circus life and
go in for “mumming.” I take an “engagement” at Royston’s Circus at
Carlisle. Playing “Little Willie” in “East Lynne” and the “ghost” in
“Hamlet” under difficulties. Am disappointed with “mumming” and go
back to the circus. My first shave. Terrible death of Macmart, the
lion tamer.

CHAPTER III

Am engaged at Astley’s. The curious history of the theatre. Sanger’s
odd expedient against fire. I am a soldier for one night in “Fair
Rosamond.” Recreation at the “Bower Saloon.” I play the part of
a monk. The monks’ revenge on an obnoxious actor. A fight with
“Richard III.” Am pitched into the orchestra. I join Adams’ Circus in
Yorkshire. I make Marwood, the hangman, laugh. Am an unsatisfactory
witness in a police court case.

CHAPTER IV

A turning point in my career. I accept an offer to go to America and
travel with John H. Murray’s Railroad Circus. The discomforts of
crossing the Atlantic. The adventures of a jar of whisky. Our opening
show at Harlum a success. Blowing up “Hell Gate.” New York scared.
Odd experiences down south. An indignant darkie thirsts for my blood.
The clown not understood in America. A Yankee who didn’t like my
“general appearance.” A Pittsburg “burglar.” I return to England.

CHAPTER V

My second visit to America. A caravan journey across the prairies and
the Rockies from New York to San Francisco. My experiences with Red
Indians. A novel treatment of fever. Performances at San Francisco,
Java and Australia. Return to New York. A “spiritualistic” swindle.
Am engaged by Barnum, Bailey and Hutchinson. The baby elephant born
in the show becomes my playmate. An elephant’s wonderful memory. My
mysterious mission to Paris under “sealed orders.” What the sealed
letter contained--instructions to buy “Jumbo.” Agitation in London
over the proposed sale of the big elephant. The Zoological Society
accept Barnum’s offer. Proceedings in Chancery. The matter settled.
“Jumbo’s” opposition. The true story of the delay. A mishap to his
car.

CHAPTER VI

“Jumbo” shipped. The Baroness Burdett-Coutts gives him his last bun.
Arrives safely at New York. A duty of £450 demanded. My awkward
encounter with the Customs officer. Fatal accident to “Jumbo.”
Something about the Aztecs. Their curious history. I go in for
theatrical management. I start with pantomime at the Metropolitan
Alcazar, Broadway. Deverna’s extraordinary rubber “properties.” The
topical hits greatly relished. The foolish penal code. Marriages
in Barnum’s captive balloon. My benefit and the misfortune that
happened. The gallery gives way and many people injured. In five
minutes I lose all my fortune.

CHAPTER VII

I join Hengler’s Circus at Liverpool. Mr. Charles Hengler’s
peculiarities. A black or red nose? An unlucky ride in the early
morning after a late night. I break my ankle. Incapacitated for two
years. I go with Hengler’s to Dublin. My popularity. A favourite
song. I experiment with performing cats. They have stage fright.
A Dublin reporter taken aback. “Billy Gladstone.” The reporter’s
revenge. My awkward experience on the boat to Holyhead. A “Dick
Turpin” impromptu ride to York.

CHAPTER VIII

The doings of my donkeys “Tom” and “Jerry.” How I educated them. The
training of animals. A Hull doctor hoaxed. My misadventure on the
opening night at Hull. How “Tom” was taught to sing. “Jerry” suddenly
drops dead at Glasgow. “Tom’s” great cleverness. How he scared
the ballet girls at the Leicester Square Empire. “Tom” undergoes
a singular surgical operation at Bordeaux. How I said “something
nice” to Mr. Gladstone at Covent Garden Theatre. I am “commanded” to
perform before Queen Victoria at Windsor Castle. “Tom’s” misbehaviour
on this occasion. Her Majesty’s appreciation of the performance.

CHAPTER IX

I experiment with geese. A goose race in tubs. A fiasco. Sarony, the
showman artist-photographer of Scarborough. I begin the training of
geese. Their erratic behaviour. They devour the stuffing of the ring
fence. Mr. Hengler’s indignation. The Sisters Vades and their safety
net. The geese make a meal off the net and spoil the turn of the
sisters. Their doom pronounced by Mr. Hengler. How they terminated
their career. I fail to train a vicious monkey. The late King Edward
(then Prince of Wales) at Scarborough--I am permitted to join his
shooting party. I arrange a children’s cricket match at which the
Prince and Dr. W. G. Grace captain the respective sides. I get up a
comic cricket match at Hengler’s at the Prince’s request. I make up
as “W. G.” and execute a marvellous and unsuspected hit. My horse
“Spot” and his dancing on the Scarborough sands. The Scarborough
widows.

CHAPTER X

I am engaged to appear at Madrid. Something about my wonderful
game-cock. Cock-fighting in London in the ’eighties! The secret of an
Endell Street cellar. How I obtained the bird. A match between myself
and the game-cock. An Argyle Street show which took the town. A
trying journey to Madrid. The trials of Spanish etiquette. Am invited
by Royalty to a bull-fight. The singing donkey creates a furore. Also
the game-cock “turn.” My _gallio_ challenged by a Spanish champion.
The fight comes off. The Spaniard defeated. The Spanish game-cock
fanciers anxious to secure my bird. I adopt precautions for his
safety. Difficulties in the way of returning home. I succeed by a
ruse in escaping.

CHAPTER XI

Odds and ends of circus life. The “peep show” cooking stoves. How I
“had” Lord Randolph Churchill in Dublin. I distinguish myself at a
sham fight. An unscrupulous practical joker. Faked up “Zulu” warriors
and how the fraud was discovered. The story of a Birmingham Christmas
pudding. My trick canary that failed. A day’s fishing on a yacht.

CHAPTER XII

More odds and ends. How I was rescued from “drowning” at Douglas. The
mock medals. A night sensation at sea. I act as a race-course steward
at the Manx “Derby.” A good old “gag.” I personate another actor at
Warrington. Dan Leno’s champion clog dancing. Eccentric lodging house
keepers. Selling the “deadheads.” Advertisements introduced into
performing. A mean firm. Curried fowl and the disappointed supers.
Advertising an electric bell. The audience “sold.” I play at the
Cirque Nouveau, Paris. My excess of zeal.

CHAPTER XIII

American notes. A bogus boxing match. Dispersed by hose-pipe. Jem Mace
and Joe Goss. I second Mace and get the worst of it. Queer American
law. Washed away on Coney Island. An insulted Irishman. How I started
“Sequah” in business. Daring robbery of my presentation watch and
chain. Curious coincidences. Terrible death of a Barnum acrobat. I
go to America with Charlie Chaplin. An unlucky tour. The company
collapse in Seattle. The discomforts of a Seattle hospital. I return
to England. An unexpected shower bath. Chased by a hippopotamus.

CHAPTER XIV

My second visit to Australia. I train a performing horse on board. Am
engaged by Harry Rickards for a twenty-seven weeks’ tour. I play for
five nights only. Summoned to London by Mr. Arthur Collins owing to
the death of Herbert Campbell. Mr. Rickards’ luxurious home. I bathe
with sharks. I escort two wallabies to England. A strange meeting at
Colombo. I arrive in London. Death of Dan Leno. Dan’s merry pranks.
His unlucky garden party.

CHAPTER XV

Managers and actors I have known. P. T. Barnum. A wonderful
organiser. How a big circus travels. Barnum’s consideration for his
company. His little speeches. General Tom Thumb. Signor Foli and
Frank Celli. Sir Augustus Harris a born showman. The elder Harris
and his glossy hat. The value of an advertisement. My “benefit” at
Drury Lane and why it was a frost. I miss my chance in the Drury Lane
Pantomime, 1890-91, “Beauty and the Beast.” An unrehearsed incident.
I play “Mercury” in “Venus.” I am “Hamlet” at Richardson’s show in
the Olympic Carnival. A Scottish “Ghost.” A new view of “Hamlet.”

CHAPTER XVI

My first engagement at Covent Garden. My performing pig. Its
ultimate end. Some dog yarns. Animal trainers not cruel. “Verdun,”
the wonderful performing horse. How E. T. Smith swallowed a £1,000
note. A shadow in my life. My first panto at Drury Lane Theatre. A
“great cab act.” Comic film scenes indebted to the harlequinade.
The decline of the harlequinade. The clown’s difficulties with the
orchestra. Royalty at the pantomime. I present Princess Mary with a
Christmas cracker. The cracker and the cats--a practical joke. The
relief of Ladysmith--an excited audience. Arthur Roberts, the prince
of “spoofers.” Escapades at a Sheffield hotel. Pressmen “spoofed” by
a water chute. The “spooferies.”

CHAPTER XVII

Pantomimes at old “Drury.” A pantomime mishap. “Spoofing” a Hebe of
the old Gaiety buffet. E. J. Odell’s rebuke. Sitting on a corpse!
Drury Lane memories. Lady Dunlo and the ham and beef shop. I play in
Drury Lane panto from 1912 to 1920. Actors and actresses who have
played in pantomimes. Jimmy Welch and the New Clown. Mr. Arthur
Bourchier as clown in W. S. Gilbert’s “Fairy’s Dilemma.” A Crystal
Palace Pantomime. The Lupinos as children. Covent Garden fancy dress
balls. “Codding” the first prize. Dan Leno as a policeman. Baddeley
Twelfth Cake Festivities.

CHAPTER XVIII

American comic films an imitation of the English harlequinade.
Charlie Chaplin’s “method.” The modern pantomime not produced for
children. The clown’s “business” spoilt by the orchestra. A defence
of the harlequinade. Grimaldi and summer pantomimes. What a pantomime
should be. A suggestion. The best clowns with circus experience.
The art of pantomime running in families. The Leopolds, the Vokes
family, the Lupinos. The difference between a circus and a pantomime
clown. Watty Hillyard, Wallet and Tom Matthews. Mr. W. S. Gilbert as
harlequin. W. J. Payne, the “King of Pantomime.” How Dan Leno and
Herbert Campbell worked together. The clown of the harlequinade works
by himself. Sausages and the red-hot poker. The origin of the clown.
Eighteenth century pantomimes. Grimaldi. Other famous clowns. How old
circus jokes were made. A plea for the revival of the harlequinade.