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Chapter I: Front Matter

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Chapter 1.LVIII.--A prophetical Riddle

THE SECOND BOOK.

For the Reader

Mr. Hugh Salel to Rabelais

The Author’s Prologue

Chapter 2.I.--Of the original and antiquity of the great Pantagruel

Chapter 2.II.--Of the nativity of the most dread and redoubted Pantagruel

Chapter 2.III.--Of the grief wherewith Gargantua was moved at the decease of his wife Badebec

Chapter 2.IV.--Of the infancy of Pantagruel

Chapter 2.V.--Of the acts of the noble Pantagruel in his youthful age

Chapter 2.VI.--How Pantagruel met with a Limousin, who too affectedly did counterfeit the French language

Chapter 2.VII.--How Pantagruel came to Paris, and of the choice books of the Library of St. Victor

Chapter 2.VIII.--How Pantagruel, being at Paris, received letters from his father Gargantua, and the copy of them

Chapter 2.IX.--How Pantagruel found Panurge, whom he loved all his lifetime

Chapter 2.X.--How Pantagruel judged so equitably of a controversy, which was wonderfully obscure and difficult, that, by reason of his just decree therein, he was reputed to have a most admirable judgment

Chapter 2.XI.--How the Lords of Kissbreech and Suckfist did plead before Pantagruel without an attorney

Chapter 2.XII.--How the Lord of Suckfist pleaded before Pantagruel

Chapter 2.XIII.--How Pantagruel gave judgment upon the difference of the two lords

Chapter 2.XIV.--How Panurge related the manner how he escaped out of the hands of the Turks

Chapter 2.XV.--How Panurge showed a very new way to build the walls of Paris

Chapter 2.XVI.--Of the qualities and conditions of Panurge

Chapter 2.XVII.--How Panurge gained the pardons, and married the old women, and of the suit in law which he had at Paris

Chapter 2.XVIII.--How a great scholar of England would have argued against Pantagruel, and was overcome by Panurge

Chapter 2.XIX.--How Panurge put to a nonplus the Englishman that argued by signs

Chapter 2.XX.--How Thaumast relateth the virtues and knowledge of Panurge

Chapter 2.XXI.--How Panurge was in love with a lady of Paris

Chapter 2.XXII.--How Panurge served a Parisian lady a trick that pleased her not very well

Chapter 2.XXIII.--How Pantagruel departed from Paris, hearing news that the Dipsodes had invaded the land of the Amaurots; and the cause wherefore the leagues are so short in France

Chapter 2.XXIV.--A letter which a messenger brought to Pantagruel from a lady of Paris, together with the exposition of a posy written in a gold ring

Chapter 2.XXV.--How Panurge, Carpalin, Eusthenes, and Epistemon, the gentlemen attendants of Pantagruel, vanquished and discomfited six hundred and threescore horsemen very cunningly

Chapter 2.XXVI.--How Pantagruel and his company were weary in eating still salt meats; and how Carpalin went a-hunting to have some venison

Chapter 2.XXVII.--How Pantagruel set up one trophy in memorial of their valour, and Panurge another in remembrance of the hares. How Pantagruel likewise with his farts begat little men, and with his fisgs little women; and how Panurge broke a great staff over two glasses

Chapter 2.XXVIII.--How Pantagruel got the victory very strangely over the Dipsodes and the Giants

Chapter 2.XXIX.--How Pantagruel discomfited the three hundred giants armed with free-stone, and Loupgarou their captain

Chapter 2.XXX.--How Epistemon, who had his head cut off, was finely healed by Panurge, and of the news which he brought from the devils, and of the damned people in hell

Chapter 2.XXXI.--How Pantagruel entered into the city of the Amaurots, and how Panurge married King Anarchus to an old lantern-carrying hag, and made him a crier of green sauce

Chapter 2.XXXII.--How Pantagruel with his tongue covered a whole army, and what the author saw in his mouth

Chapter 2.XXXIII.--How Pantagruel became sick, and the manner how he was recovered

Chapter 2.XXXIV.--The conclusion of this present book, and the excuse of the author

THE THIRD BOOK.

Francois Rabelais to the Soul of the Deceased Queen of Navarre

The Author’s Prologue

Chapter 3.I.--How Pantagruel transported a colony of Utopians into Dipsody

Chapter 3.II.--How Panurge was made Laird of Salmigondin in Dipsody, and did waste his revenue before it came in

Chapter 3.III.--How Panurge praiseth the debtors and borrowers

Chapter 3.IV.--Panurge continueth his discourse in the praise of borrowers and lenders

Chapter 3.V.--How Pantagruel altogether abhorreth the debtors and borrowers

Chapter 3.VI.--Why new married men were privileged from going to the wars

Chapter 3.VII.--How Panurge had a flea in his ear, and forbore to wear any longer his magnificent codpiece

Chapter 3.VIII.--Why the codpiece is held to be the chief piece of armour amongst warriors

Chapter 3.IX.--How Panurge asketh counsel of Pantagruel whether he should marry, yea, or no

Chapter 3.X.--How Pantagruel representeth unto Panurge the difficulty of giving advice in the matter of marriage; and to that purpose mentioneth somewhat of the Homeric and Virgilian lotteries

Chapter 3.XI.--How Pantagruel showeth the trial of one’s fortune by the throwing of dice to be unlawful

Chapter 3.XII.--How Pantagruel doth explore by the Virgilian lottery what fortune Panurge shall have in his marriage

Chapter 3.XIII.--How Pantagruel adviseth Panurge to try the future good or bad luck of his marriage by dreams

Chapter 3.XIV.--Panurge’s dream, with the interpretation thereof

Chapter 3.XV.--Panurge’s excuse and exposition of the monastic mystery concerning powdered beef

Chapter 3.XVI.--How Pantagruel adviseth Panurge to consult with the Sibyl of Panzoust

Chapter 3.XVII.--How Panurge spoke to the Sibyl of Panzoust

Chapter 3.XVIII.--How Pantagruel and Panurge did diversely expound the verses of the Sibyl of Panzoust

Chapter 3.XIX.--How Pantagruel praiseth the counsel of dumb men

Chapter 3.XX.--How Goatsnose by signs maketh answer to Panurge

Chapter 3.XXI.--How Panurge consulteth with an old French poet, named Raminagrobis

Chapter 3.XXII.--How Panurge patrocinates and defendeth the Order of the Begging Friars

Chapter 3.XXIII.--How Panurge maketh the motion of a return to Raminagrobis

Chapter 3.XXIV.--How Panurge consulteth with Epistemon

Chapter 3.XXV.--How Panurge consulteth with Herr Trippa

Chapter 3.XXVI.--How Panurge consulteth with Friar John of the Funnels

Chapter 3.XXVII.--How Friar John merrily and sportingly counselleth Panurge

Chapter 3.XXVIII.--How Friar John comforteth Panurge in the doubtful matter of cuckoldry

Chapter 3.XXIX.--How Pantagruel convocated together a theologian, physician, lawyer, and philosopher, for extricating Panurge out of the perplexity wherein he was

Chapter 3.XXX.--How the theologue, Hippothadee, giveth counsel to Panurge in the matter and business of his nuptial enterprise

Chapter 3.XXXI.--How the physician Rondibilis counselleth Panurge

Chapter 3.XXXII.--How Rondibilis declareth cuckoldry to be naturally one of the appendances of marriage

Chapter 3.XXXIII.--Rondibilis the physician’s cure of cuckoldry

Chapter 3.XXXIV.--How women ordinarily have the greatest longing after things prohibited

Chapter 3.XXXV.--How the philosopher Trouillogan handleth the difficulty of marriage

Chapter 3.XXXVI.--A continuation of the answer of the Ephectic and Pyrrhonian philosopher Trouillogan

Chapter 3.XXXVII.--How Pantagruel persuaded Panurge to take counsel of a fool

Chapter 3.XXXVIII.--How Triboulet is set forth and blazed by Pantagruel and Panurge

Chapter 3.XXXIX.--How Pantagruel was present at the trial of Judge Bridlegoose, who decided causes and controversies in law by the chance and fortune of the dice

Chapter 3.XL.--How Bridlegoose giveth reasons why he looked upon those law- actions which he decided by the chance of the dice

Chapter 3.XLI.--How Bridlegoose relateth the history of the reconcilers of parties at variance in matters of law

Chapter 3.XLII.--How suits at law are bred at first, and how they come afterwards to their perfect growth

Chapter 3.XLIII.--How Pantagruel excuseth Bridlegoose in the matter of sentencing actions at law by the chance of the dice

Chapter 3.XLIV.--How Pantagruel relateth a strange history of the perplexity of human judgment

Chapter 3.XLV.--How Panurge taketh advice of Triboulet

Chapter 3.XLVI.--How Pantagruel and Panurge diversely interpret the words of Triboulet

Chapter 3.XLVII.--How Pantagruel and Panurge resolved to make a visit to the Oracle of the Holy Bottle

Chapter 3.XLVIII.--How Gargantua showeth that the children ought not to marry without the special knowledge and advice of their fathers and mothers

Chapter 3.XLIX.--How Pantagruel did put himself in a readiness to go to sea; and of the herb named Pantagruelion

Chapter 3.L.--How the famous Pantagruelion ought to be prepared and wrought

Chapter 3.LI.--Why it is called Pantagruelion, and of the admirable virtues thereof

Chapter 3.LII.--How a certain kind of Pantagruelion is of that nature that the fire is not able to consume it

THE FOURTH BOOK.

The Translator’s Preface

The Author’s Epistle Dedicatory

The Author’s Prologue

Chapter 4.I.--How Pantagruel went to sea to visit the oracle of Bacbuc, alias the Holy Bottle

Chapter 4.II.--How Pantagruel bought many rarities in the island of Medamothy

Chapter 4.III.--How Pantagruel received a letter from his father Gargantua, and of the strange way to have speedy news from far distant places

Chapter 4.IV.--How Pantagruel writ to his father Gargantua, and sent him several curiosities

Chapter 4.V.--How Pantagruel met a ship with passengers returning from Lantern-land

Chapter 4.VI.--How, the fray being over, Panurge cheapened one of Dingdong’s sheep

Chapter 4.VII.--Which if you read you’ll find how Panurge bargained with Dingdong

Chapter 4.VIII.--How Panurge caused Dingdong and his sheep to be drowned in the sea

Chapter 4.IX.--How Pantagruel arrived at the island of Ennasin, and of the strange ways of being akin in that country

Chapter 4.X.--How Pantagruel went ashore at the island of Chely, where he saw King St. Panigon

Chapter 4.XI.--Why monks love to be in kitchens

Chapter 4.XII.--How Pantagruel passed by the land of Pettifogging, and of the strange way of living among the Catchpoles

Chapter 4.XIII.--How, like Master Francis Villon, the Lord of Basche commended his servants

Chapter 4.XIV.--A further account of catchpoles who were drubbed at Basche’s house

Chapter 4.XV.--How the ancient custom at nuptials is renewed by the catchpole

Chapter 4.XVI.--How Friar John made trial of the nature of the catchpoles

Chapter 4.XVII.--How Pantagruel came to the islands of Tohu and Bohu; and of the strange death of Wide-nostrils, the swallower of windmills

Chapter 4.XVIII.--How Pantagruel met with a great storm at sea

Chapter 4.XIX.--What countenances Panurge and Friar John kept during the storm

Chapter 4.XX.--How the pilots were forsaking their ships in the greatest stress of weather

Chapter 4.XXI.--A continuation of the storm, with a short discourse on the subject of making testaments at sea

Chapter 4.XXII.--An end of the storm

Chapter 4.XXIII.--How Panurge played the good fellow when the storm was over

Chapter 4.XXIV.--How Panurge was said to have been afraid without reason during the storm

Chapter 4.XXV.--How, after the storm, Pantagruel went on shore in the islands of the Macreons

Chapter 4.XXVI.--How the good Macrobius gave us an account of the mansion and decease of the heroes

Chapter 4.XXVII.--Pantagruel’s discourse of the decease of heroic souls; and of the dreadful prodigies that happened before the death of the late Lord de Langey

Chapter 4.XXVIII.--How Pantagruel related a very sad story of the death of the heroes

Chapter 4.XXIX.--How Pantagruel sailed by the Sneaking Island, where Shrovetide reigned

Chapter 4.XXX.--How Shrovetide is anatomized and described by Xenomanes

Chapter 4.XXXI.--Shrovetide’s outward parts anatomized

Chapter 4.XXXII.--A continuation of Shrovetide’s countenance

Chapter 4.XXXIII.--How Pantagruel discovered a monstrous physeter, or whirlpool, near the Wild Island

Chapter 4.XXXIV.--How the monstrous physeter was slain by Pantagruel

Chapter 4.XXXV.--How Pantagruel went on shore in the Wild Island, the ancient abode of the Chitterlings

Chapter 4.XXXVI.--How the wild Chitterlings laid an ambuscado for Pantagruel

Chapter 4.XXXVII.--How Pantagruel sent for Colonel Maul-chitterling and Colonel Cut-pudding; with a discourse well worth your hearing about the names of places and persons

Chapter 4.XXXVIII.--How Chitterlings are not to be slighted by men

Chapter 4.XXXIX.--How Friar John joined with the cooks to fight the Chitterlings

Chapter 4.XL.--How Friar John fitted up the sow; and of the valiant cooks that went into it

Chapter 4.XLI.--How Pantagruel broke the Chitterlings at the knees

Chapter 4.XLII.--How Pantagruel held a treaty with Niphleseth, Queen of the Chitterlings

Chapter 4.XLIII.--How Pantagruel went into the island of Ruach

Chapter 4.XLIV.--How small rain lays a high wind

Chapter 4.XLV.--How Pantagruel went ashore in the island of Pope-Figland

Chapter 4.XLVI.--How a junior devil was fooled by a husbandman of Pope- Figland

Chapter 4.XLVII.--How the devil was deceived by an old woman of Pope- Figland

Chapter 4.XLVIII.--How Pantagruel went ashore at the island of Papimany

Chapter 4.XLIX.--How Homenas, Bishop of Papimany, showed us the Uranopet decretals

Chapter 4.L.--How Homenas showed us the archetype, or representation of a pope

Chapter 4.LI.--Table-talk in praise of the decretals

Chapter 4.LII.--A continuation of the miracles caused by the decretals

Chapter 4.LIII.--How, by the virtue of the decretals, gold is subtilely drawn out of France to Rome

Chapter 4.LIV.--How Homenas gave Pantagruel some bon-Christian pears

Chapter 4.LV.--How Pantagruel, being at sea, heard various unfrozen words

Chapter 4.LVI.--How among the frozen words Pantagruel found some odd ones

Chapter 4.LVII.--How Pantagruel went ashore at the dwelling of Gaster, the first master of arts in the world

Chapter 4.LVIII.--How, at the court of the master of ingenuity, Pantagruel detested the Engastrimythes and the Gastrolaters

Chapter 4.LIX.--Of the ridiculous statue Manduce; and how and what the Gastrolaters sacrifice to their ventripotent god

Chapter 4.LX.--What the Gastrolaters sacrificed to their god on interlarded fish-days

Chapter 4.LXI.--How Gaster invented means to get and preserve corn

Chapter 4.LXII.--How Gaster invented an art to avoid being hurt or touched by cannon-balls

Chapter 4.LXIII.--How Pantagruel fell asleep near the island of Chaneph, and of the problems proposed to be solved when he waked

Chapter 4.LXIV.--How Pantagruel gave no answer to the problems

Chapter 4.LXV.--How Pantagruel passed the time with his servants

Chapter 4.LXVI.--How, by Pantagruel’s order, the Muses were saluted near the isle of Ganabim

Chapter 4.LXVII.--How Panurge berayed himself for fear; and of the huge cat Rodilardus, which he took for a puny devil

THE FIFTH BOOK.

The Author’s Prologue

Chapter 5.I.--How Pantagruel arrived at the Ringing Island, and of the noise that we heard

Chapter 5.II.--How the Ringing Island had been inhabited by the Siticines, who were become birds

Chapter 5.III.--How there is but one pope-hawk in the Ringing Island

Chapter 5.IV.--How the birds of the Ringing Island were all passengers

Chapter 5.V.--Of the dumb Knight-hawks of the Ringing Island

Chapter 5.VI.--How the birds are crammed in the Ringing Island

Chapter 5.VII.--How Panurge related to Master Aedituus the fable of the horse and the ass

Chapter 5.VIII.--How with much ado we got a sight of the pope-hawk

Chapter 5.IX.--How we arrived at the island of Tools

Chapter 5.X.--How Pantagruel arrived at the island of Sharping

Chapter 5.XI.--How we passed through the wicket inhabited by Gripe-men-all, Archduke of the Furred Law-cats

Chapter 5.XII.--How Gripe-men-all propounded a riddle to us

Chapter 5.XIII.--How Panurge solved Gripe-men-all’s riddle

Chapter 5.XIV.--How the Furred Law-cats live on corruption

Chapter 5.XV.--How Friar John talks of rooting out the Furred Law-cats

Chapter 5.XVI.--How Pantagruel came to the island of the Apedefers, or Ignoramuses, with long claws and crooked paws, and of terrible adventures and monsters there

Chapter 5.XVII.--How we went forwards, and how Panurge had like to have been killed

Chapter 5.XVIII.--How our ships were stranded, and we were relieved by some people that were subject to Queen Whims (qui tenoient de la Quinte)

Chapter 5.XIX.--How we arrived at the queendom of Whims or Entelechy

Chapter 5.XX.--How the Quintessence cured the sick with a song

Chapter 5.XXI.--How the Queen passed her time after dinner

Chapter 5.XXII.--How Queen Whims’ officers were employed; and how the said lady retained us among her abstractors

Chapter 5.XXIII.--How the Queen was served at dinner, and of her way of eating

Chapter 5.XXIV.--How there was a ball in the manner of a tournament, at which Queen Whims was present

Chapter 5.XXV.--How the thirty-two persons at the ball fought

Chapter 5.XXVI.--How we came to the island of Odes, where the ways go up and down

Chapter 5.XXVII.--How we came to the island of Sandals; and of the order of Semiquaver Friars

Chapter 5.XXVIII.--How Panurge asked a Semiquaver Friar many questions, and was only answered in monosyllables

Chapter 5.XXIX.--How Epistemon disliked the institution of Lent

Chapter 5.XXX.--How we came to the land of Satin

Chapter 5.XXXI.--How in the land of Satin we saw Hearsay, who kept a school of vouching

Chapter 5.XXXII.--How we came in sight of Lantern-land

Chapter 5.XXXIII.--How we landed at the port of the Lychnobii, and came to Lantern-land

Chapter 5.XXXIV.--How we arrived at the Oracle of the Bottle

Chapter 5.XXXV.--How we went underground to come to the Temple of the Holy Bottle, and how Chinon is the oldest city in the world

Chapter 5.XXXVI.--How we went down the tetradic steps, and of Panurge’s fear

Chapter 5.XXXVII.--How the temple gates in a wonderful manner opened of themselves

Chapter 5.XXXVIII.--Of the temple’s admirable pavement

Chapter 5.XXXIX.--How we saw Bacchus’s army drawn up in battalia in mosaic work

Chapter 5.XL.--How the battle in which the good Bacchus overthrew the Indians was represented in mosaic work

Chapter 5.XLI.--How the temple was illuminated with a wonderful lamp

Chapter 5.XLII.--How the Priestess Bacbuc showed us a fantastic fountain in the temple, and how the fountain-water had the taste of wine, according to the imagination of those who drank of it

Chapter 5.XLIII.--How the Priestess Bacbuc equipped Panurge in order to have the word of the Bottle

Chapter 5.XLIV.--How Bacbuc, the high-priestess, brought Panurge before the Holy Bottle

Chapter 5.XLV.--How Bacbuc explained the word of the Goddess-Bottle

Chapter 5.XLVI.--How Panurge and the rest rhymed with poetic fury

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Gargantua and PantagruelChapter I: Front Matter

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