Chapter 3: Why do you play in letters

Because we are English.

Is it an English custom.

It is not an American.

Oh yes I remember you did mention.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Eaton.

Can you recollect can you remember what day it was that we promised to go into the wind and not take shelter.

I cannot remember that we ever undertook to do that.

We are going in another direction.

To day.

And day after to morrow.

We often spell together.

We like latin.

How goes it.

Frederick and Harriet Beef.

Do be anxious about me.

We are not anxious about me.

No you were told to be so were you not.

We were not advised.

No indeed you were not.

Dear Mr. Colin Bell.

Do be gracious and come again.

Soon.

As soon as you like.

I do not know how to reply.

No you don't and I am so uneasy.

Not today.

No not at all.

Dear Sir.

Good night.

_Act 2._

Here we come to act two.

Australian papers.

Canadian papers.

American papers.

Dear Miss Millicant.

Do not be insulting.

You know very well that we have not conscription.

Were you surprised.

In states.

Or in territories.

My dear Milly. I wish you would come and tell me about Rigoletto.

Oh yes handkerchiefs

From Bonnets.

Good evening Mrs.

That is not well said.

Dear Gilbert. Remember me to your mother.

All the time.

Dear Mr. Lindo Webb.

I understand why you are not better liked. A great many people expect you to teach them English. You do so and very well. You might be married and have a wife and son. With these helping you to teach you could teach many more people English.

Then we can expect that you will change your place of residence.

We do not expect you to change your coat. No Englishman does. We understand that.

Young Bonnet.

We have been very much annoyed by the impertinence of Mr. Alfred Bonnet.

Little pieces of paper are suddenly burnt.

In believing a shoe maker you believe his father.

I do not believe his father.

Why because he does not dress well.

Dress well dress well.

Dear Mrs. Cook.

Have you any special wishes. Do you want to know about almond leaves and almond roots. Or do you refer to olive roots. Olive trees have large roots. I do not know about almond trees.

The rest of the time was spent in deploring the tempest.

Dear Mrs. Carlock.

I do not know the name. I have often been told that the easiest way to be believed is to examine every one. I have endeavored to do so but without success. Some people believe that they will be killed. By this I mean that they delight in teaching.

Some teach very well. Some teach in the north. Do not stay away.

Sincerely yours and not carelessly.

Walter Winter.

How do you know my name. I speak three languages spanish french and english.

Dear Mr. Cook.

How do you do. Do you mean that you are able to stay.

The rest of the afternoon.

I do understand a red nose.

Not today.

No not to-day. You see the explanation is this.

We will not be pleased altogether.

Mrs. Cook I ask of you do not come again.

Do you mean it.

I cannot understand Mary Rose Palmer.

I can understand explaining things to one another.

We were there and the almond flowers turned to almond leaves.

Dear Mr. Cook.

Come again.

Sincerely yours

Daisy Clement.

_Act 3._

In the country and for the country.

Dear Master. Do not say so.

You mean there is no such address.

I do not mean that I criticize. I do mean that the method used does not agree with me.

Certainly not.

Sincerely yours.

Harmon.

Why do you need a name.

I don't know. I like the point of Inca.

Do not see it everywhere.

I will not.

Dear land.

When I call away I do not mean that I wish the coal to burn. It is not necessary to tell me that the peas will suffer. They certainly will not neither will the pinks.

Thank you for using that word.

Dear me it is windy.

SCENE 2.

Dear Sir. Mr. Cousins told me that they were away when it happened. They recollected being asked if they were well if they had recovered from their emotion. They were also asked if their wives and children were well. They certainly did not know how to say excuse me I do not know who you are. They might have said I would wish to know your name because it would not be right not to be able to give your message and if we do not know your name we cannot say from whom the message came.

This was not done.

Dear Sir. Do not be angry with your government.

Sincerely yours.

William Hague.

SCENE 3.

This was the way to reason. Did he leave after the other came. Was he a sea captain. Was the other one of the same profession although a citizen of another nation. Now as to the word citizen. The use of it differs. Some are inclined to ratify the use of it others prefer to ask what is a citizen. A citizen is one who employing all the uses of his nature cleans the world of adjoining relations. In this way we cannot conquer. We do conquer and I ask how, how do you do.

Dear Sir. When it is necessary to come you will come.

Yes sir.

Dear sir. When it is necessary to be hurried you are not nervous.

Not at all.

Very well.

Dear Sir. Why have you special places for your handkerchiefs.

Because they have been so charmingly embroidered.

You are pleased then.

Yes very pleased indeed.

_Scene 3._

Dear Sir.

Extra dresses.

Oh yes.

See here. Extra gloves.

I do not like the word gloves it has a combination of letters in it that displeases me.

Since when.

Since this evening.

I do not understand your objection.

It is easy to understand if I explain.

Dear Genevieve. Do say where you heard them speak of the decision they had come to not to have masked balls.

I didn't say. They always have masked balls.

Oh so they do.

Yes indeed they do.

There are many of them.

A great many.

Looks.

Looks to me.

Dear Sir. Why have you such splendid olive trees.

Dear Mr. Wilson.

Why have you such plain entrances.

What do you mean.

I mean in Mallorca they do it in such a way that every house has an interesting entrance.

You mean chairs.

Yes I mean chairs.

_Act 4._

_Scene 1._

Dear Sir. Please do not persist.

The one in the house said it.

Dear Lady Cryst what do you say to that again.

I say nothing.

Indeed you are discreet and timid.

Mrs. Seeman has been disappointed. In Saint Katherine.

Yes because of the children.

How do you mean.

One of them was not bewildering and he blasphemed the saints.

Oh no.

No one could be older.

You mean today.

I mean anyday.

Dear Sir. Come to another conclusion.

Yes I will.

Receive me and Cuba. You mean the name. Yes the name. You always liked hearing noises. Not in France. No indeed not in France.

Not in France.

No indeed.

Really you prepare me. I do. Not today. Today. You prepare me today.

_Scene 2._

This is so pleasing.

Dear Sir. How do you pronounce Crowtell.

The land is very near and is seen and nuns fix it.

And the tramway.

Shall I say street car.

Not necessarily here it is more a country road and the electricity is easily had.

Everywhere.

Yes everywhere.

That is such a comfort.

Dear sir. You mean dear Mr. Rossilo do you know my older brother.

_Scene 3._

Charles King. Lindo Webb Lindo Webb.

Dear Charles King. You do not mind that I am in distress. I have no means of satisfying myself whether I am obliged to be careful or not.

Careful of what.

Of what I say in public.

Certainly not.

No.

Certainly not.

Dear Mr. Lindo Webb.

Come again will you.

A great many mountains are higher than any on the island.

Do you believe in lessons.

Of course I do.

So does Mrs. Gilbert.

_Scene 4._

I am enjoying it.

Dear Mr. Lindo Webb. Why do you wish to win.

In the more readily seen places there is no muttering. You mean no quarreling. I mean neither one or the other.

Oh I understand you.

By that I mean that I am poor.

I see what you mean.

Dear Woodrow. This is a name.

What does anybody mean by interesting.

That is not a word that has that position.

You mean not nicely.

I mean that I am English.

Dear Mr. Henry. What have you been meaning to do.

_Scene 5._

Dear Sir. Why do you speak.

Dear Sir. Please me.

How can I be called.

Do you wish to go to market.

Dear Sir. Do you wish me to go to market.

Dear Sir. Do you wish me to have that made.

How do you mean.

_Scene 6._

Dear Sir. Remember that when you have no further requests to make you must not blame me.

Dear Sir. I know you do not object to smoke.

Dear Mrs. Lindo Webb How can you break your teeth.

By falling down in the street.

You mean now when the pavement is so dark.

Naturally.

It would not have happened otherwise.

This is because of the necessary condition of lighting.

We all suffer from that.

SCENE 7.

Do you remember Charles Mark. Figs. Especially mentioned figs.

Dear Sir. Will you come today and wear three diamond rings and an officers suit. You have a perfect right to wear an officer's suit. You are a major.

Dear Mrs. English. Do you like a different country.

Do you mean higher up in the hills.

Not so very much higher.

_Act 5._

_Scene 1._

This is the last time we will use seasoning.

You mean you like it better cold.

No don't be foolish.

Dear Sir. Is there much wisdom in searching for asphodels.

Not if you already know what they are.

We do know now.

Then there is no use in trying to accustom yourself to their beauty. But we don't find it beautiful. I too have failed to find beauty in them.

This is not surprising as they do not grow prettily.

They were a great disappointment to us.

_Scene 2._

We all are able to see I don't care a bit about Lena. We are all able to say I don't care a bit about Lena.

Dear Mrs. Landor. How can you cease to be troubled about the rest of the winter. How can you cease to be troubled about the rest of the summer and the beginning of the winter.

Dear Sir. Every evening the snow falls. Red. Yes and so do the asphodels. Asphodel isn't red. I know it it looks so.

Dear friend. Can you give me any pleasure.

Yesterday afternoon was a holiday. You mean a festival. I mean a day of the country.

Do you mean that you understand the country.

No indeed.

_Scene 3._

Dear friends. Have patience.

_Scene 4._

This has ended very well.

You mean meeting one another.

Yes and asking us to remain here.

You mean that a great many people were troubled.

Not a great many people.

Some are very happy.

So are others.

We all have wishes.

Expressed wishes.

Dear Sir. Will you come again and eat ham.

Not in this country.

Fish.

Not in this country.

TURKEY AND BONES AND EATING AND WE LIKED IT

A PLAY

He was very restless. He does not like to stand while he picks flowers. He does not smell flowers. He has a reasonable liking for herbs. He likes their smell. He is not able to see storms. He can see anything running. He has been able to be praised.

SCENE I.

Polybe and seats.

Straw seats which are so well made that they resemble stools. They are all of straw and thick. They are made with two handles.

Genevieve and cotton.

I do not like cotton drawers. I prefer wool or linen. I admit that linen is damp. Wool is warm. I believe I prefer wool.

Minorca and dogs.

I like a dog which is easily understood as I have never had the habit of going out except on Sunday. Now I go out every day.

Anthony and coal.

I believe that coal is better than wood. If coal is good it burns longer. In any case it is very difficult to get here.

Felix and a letter.

I do not wish to reply to a telegram, not because I find it difficult to explain in it that I wished to see you. I did wish to see you.

Mr. Clement.

It gives me great pleasure to meet you. I am feeling well today and I see that you are enjoying the mild weather. It will continue so. I hope you will be pleased. I will present myself to you in saying that I am certain that you are deriving pleasure from your winter. I am certainly eager.

William.

He is too difficult. I mean he is too difficult. I don't believe you understand me yet. He is too difficult.

SCENE II.

She would not insist. We were to have a saddle of mutton. We were served first with a not distasteful supply of vegetables. There was ham in it and pork. These had boiling and they were a sauce. Let me tell you about the german.

A little girl.

I can tell blue when I see it.

A German.

Look.

Italians.

We expect to go home.

When

When the cigarettes come. I know these were stale. If I go to the war I will be readily excused because I am lame. You have every reason to be lame. You are a waiter but the out of door life may do you good.

Genevieve.

I could not leave the house as I was expecting the reparation of a mattress.

You did not find it necessary to leave the house.

Not in the morning.

William and Mary.

William is William and he does not use any precaution. He is not very adroit.

She. Will you drink wine.

I do.

I know that but will you take any now.

I don't mind the taste of it.

This is really not wine. It is a concoction of brown sugar and water and fermented juice. I call it wine it is a drink. I did not know it was not wine.

The count.

Why does the count wish for this house. He wishes for it because it has all conveniences. It really hasn't but it is better situated than the one he has now.

Raymond and Jenny.

I do like a Spanish name a Spanish name always begins with a V.

We went together.

We went together and we did not go to the Opera. The opera that was being given was Boris Goudonoff.

SCENE III.

A whole collection of stamps. A family meeting.

Where did you get it.

I got it when I saw the envelope.

Where did you see it.

Don't hold it.

Don't spoil it.

Let me see it.

Thanks.

Thanks so much.

I thank you.

I thank you for your kindness.

Please make a collection of flowers.

Collecting flowers is not a misery. You have to carry something a handkerchief will do and more than that is perfectly selfish.

We are not perfectly selfish.

William. Do be persevering.

Mrs. Clement. I am. I do not leave my house.

Genevieve. Don't you leave your house.

Mr. and Mrs. Clement. We do.

Maud. The hills would be better than water. We like water.

Mrs. Clement. Everybody likes water.

Maud. And fish.

Genevieve. I do not care for the fish here.

William. Radishes.

Maud. Radishes are strong.

Mrs. Clement. I am glad to have seen you.

SCENE IV.

An interlude.

If you were a Breton and read a book and understood Spanish would you be richer than a frenchman who talked in a field. If a man talked in a field and told about papers and contraband and laughed would you see a resemblance in him to a Swiss. I would. This is what happened. He says it is very necesssary to be young to be young and unmarried and then you can not do as you please. You can not go where you please. He believed that it was alright. I am certain that he understood talking. He also laughed. I am not convinced that ploughing is safe. Ploughing is done with a plough and under a tree. Dogs bark, little dogs bark the horse and sometimes a mule and sometimes a donkey. The people say leave it to me. I will not.

SCENE V.

Farmer.

Listen to me.

I will not.

Then do not listen to me.

I heard you when you said it. I like to see goats feed.

And so do I like to see them lay the tracks.

They are laying them for the electrical railroad.

Sarah. I don't like him. I don't like his ways. I don't like it and I will not say it. I will do as you do and you do it so nicely. I will do as you do and then we were right. We were right to ask him to come in. He will not come in. I will not go out. We will not stay there. We will say yes certainly, we are not very busy. Yes please see that you have the things you want. You have not been given them. Don't fail to come again when you need them.

A Farmer.

A fisherman.

We don't like to look at a wall.

A Fisherman and a farmer.

They both believe in fish. Fish is a fertilizer. It cannot be found in the bay. You do not have to go out far. You have to have a great many boats.

An English mother.

You make me quite afraid of dogs.

SCENE VI.

A water faucet.

We were very likely to meet one another. None of us have running water. The count Rangle had.

We were all fond of winter. We said we liked summer. The trouble with the summer is that it is too hot. You see I am convinced.

Harold.

Harold is your name. I thought it was Martin.

It is Martin or Mark.

Thank you.

You speak English.

Yes certainly.

And french.

Very nicely.

And Hindustani.

My mother does.

I supposed she did.

We had never thought about it.

SCENE VII.