Chapter III: Part 3

57th. In walking up and Down in a House, only with One in Company if he be Greater than yourself, at the first give him the Right hand and Stop not till he does and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn let it be with your face towards him, it he be a Man of Great Quality, walk not with him Cheek by Jowl but Somewhat behind him; but yet in such a Manner that he may easily Speak to you.

[Sidenote: The repetition of the feminine "Elle" refers to 'vne personne,' in the first line, although the masculine ('qu'il' and 's'il') has twice followed it. There is no allusion to the female sex in the French Maxims.]

Chapter vi. 7. Si vous promenez auec vne personne seule dans la
maison, & qu'il soil d'vne conditiõ qui luy fasse meriter quelque
deference, dés le premier pas de la promenade, ne manquez pas de
luy donner la droite: Ne cessez point de marcher, s'il ne vient à
s'arrester: Ne changez pas le premier le diuertissement, & en vous
tournant, ne luy montrez iamais les épaules; mais tousiours le
visage. Si elle est dans vne charge releuée, gardez bien de marcher
d'vn pas tout à fait égal; mais suiuez tant soit pen derriere, auec
tant de iustesse pourtant & de moderatiõ, qu'elle vous puisse bien
parler sans s'incõmoder. Si elle vous est égale allez d'un mesme
pas tout le long de la promenade, & ne tournez pas tovsiours le
premier, à chaque bout de champ; ne faites pas si souuent des
pauses au milieu du chemin sans suiet. Car cette liberté ressent
sa grandeur & donne du mécontentement. Celuy qui tient le milieu
dans vne compagnie dont il est enuironné, si ceux qui la composent,
sont égaux, ou presque égaux, il se doit tourner vne fois à droit
dans la promenade, & s'ils se rencontrent notablement inegaux, il
se doit plus souuent tourner vers le plus qualifié. Enfin que ceux
qui l'enuironnent, viennent tousiours à se détourner de son costé &
en mesme temps que luy, non point deuant ny apres; puis qu'il est
comme le but de la promenade.

If you are walking about the house alone with a person whose rank
demands some deference, at the very first step be sure and give him
the right hand: Do not stop walking if he does not wish to stop: Be
not the first to change the diversion, and, in turning, never show
him your shoulder but always your face. If he has a high public
appointment take care not to walk quite side by side with him but a
very little behind him with so much exactness and moderation that
he may be able to speak to you without inconvenience. If he is your
equal in rank, keep step with him during the whole walk, and do not
always turn first at every end of the walk. Do not stop often
midway without reason, such liberty touches his dignity and gives
dissatisfaction. He who is the centre of the company by whom he is
surrounded ought, if those of whom it consists are equal or nearly
equal in rank, always to turn to the right once during the walk,
and if they are manifestly unequal, he should oftenest turn towards
the most distinguished. Lastly those who are about him should
always turn round towards his side and at the same time as he,
neither before nor after, as he is, so to say, the object of the
walk.

58th. let your conversation be without malice or envy, for 'tis a sign of a tractable and commendable nature: & in all causes of passion admit reason to govern

Hawkins v. 9. Let thy conversation be without malice or envye, for
that is a signe of a tractable and commendable nature. And in all
causes of passion, admit reason for thy governesse. So shall thy
Reputation be either altogether inviolable, or at the least not
stayned with common Tinctures.

59th. Never express anything unbecoming, nor Act against the Rules Moral before your inferiours

[Sidenote: Walker: 'A man should not divertise himself with his Inferiors, nor make his Servants privy to his infirmities and failures.']

Hawkins v. 10. Never expresse any thing unbeseeming, nor act
against the Rules morall, before thy inferiours, For in these
things, thy own guilt will multiply Crimes by example, and as it
were, confirme Ill by authority.

60th. Be not immodest in urging your Friends to Discover a Secret

[Sidenote: Hawkins uses the word 'Farce' instead of 'Stuff.']

Hawkins v. 11. Be not immodest in urging thy friend to discover his
secrets; lest an accidentall discovery of them work a breach in
your amitye.

61st. Utter not base and frivilous things amongst grave and Learn'd Men nor very Difficult Questions or Subjects, among the Ignorant or things hard to be believed, Stuff not your Discourse with Sentences amongst your Betters nor Equals

Chapter vii. 1. dans la conuersation de gents doctes & habiles ne
debitez pas des bagatelles, & n'auancez pas des discours trop
releuez parmy les ignorants, qu'ils ne soient po[note: word missing
here] capables d'entendre, ou qu'ils ne puissent pas croire fort
facilement. ne debutez pas toûjours par des prouerbes,
particulierement parmy vos égaux, & bien moins auec vos superieurs.
ne parlez point de choses à cõtr[~e]teps, ou qui puissent choquer
les esprits de vos auditeurs. parmy les banquets, & dans les iours
de resioüissance ne mettez point sur le tapis de tristes nouuelles,
point de recits de rudes calamitez, point d'ordures, point de
deshõnestetez, point d'afflictions. bien au cõtraire si tels
discours se trouuent entamez par quelqu'autre, faites vostre
possible pour en détourner adroictement la suitte. ne contez iamais
vos songes qu'à de vos confidents, & encore que ce soit pour
profiter de leur interpretation; vous gardant bien d'y donner
aucune croyance.

[Sidenote: Walker says--'nor tell your dreams when perhaps your best waking actions are not worth the reciting.']

When talking with learned and clever men, do not introduce trifles,
and do not bring forward too advanced conversation before ignorant
people which they cannot understand nor easily believe. Do not
always begin with proverbs, especially among your equals, and still
less with your superiors. Do not speak of things out of place, or
of such as may shock your hearers. At banquets and on days of
rejoicing do not bring up sorrowful news or accounts of sad
calamities, no filth, nothing improper, nothing afflicting. On the
contrary, if such conversation is begun by any one else, do your
best adroitly to turn the subject. Never relate your dreams except
to your confidants, and then only to profit by their
interpretation, taking care not to put the least belief in it.

62d. Speak not of doleful Things in a Time of Mirth or at the Table; Speak not of Melancholy Things as Death and Wounds, and if others Mention them Change if you can the Discourse tell not your Dreams, but to your intimate Friend

_(The substance of Rule 62 is in the French Maxim quoted under the
previous Rule (61), beginning with the third sentence, 'Ne parlez
point, etc.')_ 63d. A Man ought not to value himself of his
Atchievements or rare Qua[lities, his Riches, Tit]les Virtue or
Kindred[; but he need not speak meanly of himself.]

Chapter vii. 2. Vne personne bien nourrie ne s'amuse iamais à faire
parade de ses belles actions, de son esprit, de sa vertu, & de ses
autres bonnes & loüables qualitez, au cõtraire il ne faut iamais
s'entretenir auec les autres de sa haute naissance, ou de la
Noblesse de ses parents, de ses richesses, ny de ses grandeurs, si
l'on n'y est contrainct. II ne faut pas aussi se raualler
entierement.

A well-bred person never makes parade of his good actions, wit,
virtue, and other good and praiseworthy qualities; on the contrary,
one ought never to speak with another about his high birth, the
nobility of his parents, his wealth or dignities, unless obliged to
do so. But one need not efface himself altogether.

64'th Break not a Jest where none take pleasure in mirth Laugh not aloud, nor at all without Occasion, deride no man's Misfortune, tho' there seem to be Some cause

Chapter vii. 3. Il ne faut pas se mettre sur la raillerie, quãd il
n'est point temps de solastrer. Gardez-vous bien d'éclater en
risées, d'y passer les bornes de la bienseance, & de le faire sans
un suiet raisonnable, pour suiure l'inclinatiõ qui vous porte à
rire. Ne prenez iamais suiet de rire du malheur d'autruy, quoy
qu'il semble en quelque façon digne de risée.

Jesting must be avoided when it is out of season. Beware of
bursting out into laughter, beyond the limits of decorum, and of
doing so without reasonable cause, merely from an inclination to
laugh. Never laugh at the misfortunes of others, although they seem
in some sort laughable

65th Speak not injurious Words neither in Jest nor Earnest Scoff at none although they give Occasion

Chapter vii. 4. Ne donnez iamais de sobriquet, soit dans le jeu, ou
bien hors du jeu. Gardez vous bien de picquer qui que ce puisse
estre; ne vous mocquez d'aucune personne, particulierement d'entre
celles qui sont qualifiées, quoy qu'auec occasion.

Never give nicknames, whether in fun or not. Take care not to hurt
anybody, whoever it may be; do not mock any one, especially persons
of distinction, although there be occasion.

66th Be not forward but friendly and Courteous; the first to Salute hear and answer & be not Pensive when it's a time to converse.

Chapter vii. 5. Ne vous rendez point morne & de fâcheux abord; mais
affable & prompt à rendre de bons offices, & soyez toûjours le
premier à saluër. Entendez bien ce que l'on vous dit & y respondez;
Ne vous retirez point à l'écart, quand le deuoir vous engage à la
conversation.

Do not be glum and unfriendly of approach; but affable, prompt in
rendering kind offices, and always the first to salute. Listen
carefully to what is said and respond; do not keep aloof when duty
requires you to take a share in the conversation.

67th. Detract not from others neither be excessive in Commending.

Chapter vii. 6. Gardez vous bien de medire d'aucune personne ou de
vous entretenir des affaires d'autruy. Et mesme souuenez vous de
garder la moderation dans vos loüanges.

[Sidenote: Walker says: 'Carry even between adulation and soureness.']

Take care not to speak ill of any one or to gossip of other
people's affairs. At the same time do not forget moderation in your
praises.

_(Dr. Toner thinks the last word of Rule 67 is written
'Commanding.' Sparks has 'commending.')_ 68th. Go not thither,
where you know not, whether you Shall be Welcome or not. Give not
Advice whth being Ask'd & when desired do it briefly

Chapter vii. 7. Ne vous ingerez pas dans les entretiens & les
consultations, où vous ne serez pas asseuré d'estre le bien venu.
Ne dites iamais vostre aduis des affaires que l'on ne vous l'ait
demandé, si toutesfois vous n'estes le premier en authorité, & que
ce ne soit point à contre-temps, ou sans apparence de quelque
auantage. Quand vous en estes prié, abregez vostre discours, &
prenez de bonne heure le noeud de l'affaire à demesler.

Do not force yourself into interviews or consultations at which you
are not sure of being welcome. Never give your advice on matters
when it has not been asked, unless you happen to be the highest in
authority; and do not let it be done out of place or without
prospect of any benefit. When your opinion is requested, be brief,
and reach quickly the knot of the matter under discussion.

69th If two contend together take not the part of either unconstrained, and be not obstinate in your Opinion, in Things indiferent be of the Major side.

Chapter vii. 8. Si deux personnes out quelque chose à decider
ensemble, ne prenez le party ny de l'vn, ny de l'autre, si quelque
grãde raison ne vous y oblige. Ne soustenez pas vos sentiments auec
vne trop grande obstination. Dans les matieres où les opiniõs sont
libres, prenez tousiours le party qui est le plus appuyé.

[Sidenote: Walker says: 'Thrust not your self to be Moderator or Umpire in Controversies, till required']

If two persons have anything to decide between themselves do not
take the part of either unless some pressing reason obliges you to
do so. Do not maintain your ideas too obstinately. In matters in
which opinions are free, always take the side which has the most
support.

70th Reprehend not the imperfections of others for that belongs to Parents Masters and Superiors.

Chapter vii. 9. Ne faites pas le censeur & le juge des fautes
d'autruy, car cela n'appartient qu'aux maistres, aux peres, & à
ceux qui out quelque superiorité. Il vous est toutesfois permis de
faire paroistre l'auersion que vous en cõceuez. Et vous pouuez bien
quelquesfois dõner aduis avantageux au defaillants.

Do not be the censor and judge of other peoples' faults, for that
only belongs to masters, fathers, and those who have some
superiority. But it is nevertheless allowable for you to show an
aversion you have conceived. And at times you may give advantageous
advice to those who are in the wrong.

71st. Gaze not at the marks or blemishes of Others and ask not how they came. What you may Speak in Secret to your Friend deliver not before others

Chapter vii. 10. Ne vous amusez pas à considerer curieusement les
defauts ou les taches, quoy que naturelles, particulierement si
elles se rencontrent au visage, & ne vous enquerez pas d'où elles
out precedé. Ce que vous diriez bien volontiers en l'oreille à vn
amy, doit estre conserué sous la clef du sil[~e]ce, lors que vous
vous trouuez en cempagnie

Take no pleasure in examining curiously defects or blemishes,
although natural, especially if they be in the face, nor enquire
what they proceed from. What you would readily say in the ear of a
friend ought to be preserved under the key of silence when you are
in society.

72d. Speak not in an unknown Tongue in Company but in your own Language and that as those of Quality do and not as y'e Vulgar; Sublime matters treat Seriously.

Chapter vii. 11. Ne vous seruez iamais en vos discours & n'employez
vne langue qui ne vous est pas bien cognuë & familiere, si ce n'est
en vne occasion bien pressante, pour donner plus clairement à
connoistre vostre pensée. Parlez tousiours en la vostre maternelle
& natale, non pas grossierement, comme la lie du peuple, ou les
pauures chambrieres; mais comme les plus delicats & les plus gros
Bourgeois, auec erudition & auec elegance. Et prenez à tâche
d'obseruer en vos discours les regles de l'honnesteté & de la
modestie; & vous gardez bien de ces contes vn peu trop libres; ne
les faites ny en l'oreille d'vn autre, ny ne les poussez par jeu
auec profusion. N'employez point de termes bas & raualez ou
populaires en des matieres hautes & reluées.

In your conversation never use a language with which you are not
thoroughly acquainted and familiar, unless in some very urgent case
to render your idea more clearly. Always speak in your native and
mother tongue, not coarsely like the dregs of the people, or poor
chamber-maids, but like the most refined and well-to-do citizens,
with erudition and elegance. And in your discourse take care to
observe the rules of decorum and modesty, and be sure to avoid
rather risky tales; do not whisper such to another, and do not
indulge them too frequently in sport. Do not use low, base or
vulgar expressions when treating of serious and sublime subjects.

73'd. Think before you Speak pronounce not imperfectly nor bring out your Words too hastily but orderly and Distinctly

Chapter vii. 12. Ne vous mettez point à discourir, que vous ne vous
y soyez bien preparé, & que vous n'ayez bien estudié vostre suiet.
Dans l'entretien ordinaire, n'allez point chercher de periphrases,
point de subtilitez, ny de figures. Ne confondez point vos paroles
dans les coutumes d'vne langue trop brusque & begayante; mais
aussi, ne parlez pas si lentement, & à tant de reprises, que vous
donniez de l'ennuy.

Do not begin speaking unless you are quite prepared, and have well
studied your subject. In ordinary conversation do not seek
periphrases, subtleties, or figures of speech. Do not let your
words become confused by too abrupt or hesitating a delivery, and
do not let your speech be so slow and broken as to become tedious.

74th When Another Speaks be attentive your Self and disturb not the Audience if any hesitate in his Words help him not nor Prompt him without desired, Interrupt him not, nor Answer him till his Speech be ended

Chapter vii. 13. Quand quelque autre parle, prenez garde de donner
suiet à ses Auditeurs de s'en detourner; & pour vous, écoutez-le
fauorablement & auec attention, sans destourner les yeux d'vn autre
costé, ou vous arrester à quelqu'autre pensée. Si quelqu'vn a de la
peine à tirer ses mots comme par force, ne vous amusez pas á luy en
suggerer, pour faire paroistre quelque desir d'aider celuy qui
parle, si'l ne vient à vous en prier, ou que le tout se passe dãs
le particulier, & qu'encore cette persõne soit de vos plus intimes
& familiers amis; & apres tout ne l'interrompez point, & ne luy
repliquez en aucune maniere, iusques à ce que luy-mesme ait acheué.

[Sidenote: Hawkins: 'If any drawl forth his words, help him not']

[Sidenote: The later French book has: 'It is not Civil when a Person of Quality hesitates or stops in his discourse for you to strike in, though with pretence of helping his memory.']

When another person is speaking, beware of drawing off the
attention of his hearers; and as for yourself, listen to him
favourably and attentively, without turning your eyes aside or
directing your thoughts elsewhere. If any one finds difficulty in
expressing himself, do not amuse yourself by suggesting words to
him, so as to show a desire to assist the speaker unless he so
requests or you are quite in private, and the person is also one of
your most intimate and familiar friends. Above all, do not
interrupt him, and in nowise reply to him until he has finished.

75th. In the midst of Discourse ask [not what it is about], but if you Perceive any Stop because of [your arrival, rather request the speaker] to Proceed: If a Person of Quality comes in while your Conversing its handsome to Repeat what was said before

Chapter vii. 14. Quand vous arriuez sur la moitié de quelque
discours, ne vous enquerez pas du suiet de l'entretien; car cela
est trop hardy & ressent l'homme d'authorité. Suppliez plûtost
honnestement & courtoisement que l'on le poursuiue, si vous voyez
qu'il se soir interronpu à vostre arriuée, parquel que sorte de
deference. Au contraire s'il suruient quelqu'vn, lors que vous
parlerez, & particulierement si c'est vne personne qualifiée & de
merite, il est de la bien-seance de faire vne petite recapitulation
de ce qui a esté auancé, & de poursuiure la deduction de tout le
reste de la matiere.

[Sidenote: Hawkins: 'It is seemely to make a little Epilogue and briefe collection of what thou deliveredst.]

If you arrive in the middle of any discussion, do not ask what it
is about; for that is too bold and savours of one in authority.
Rather ask, genteelly and courteously, that it may be continued, if
you see that the speaker has paused on your arrival, out of
civility. On the other hand, if any one comes whilst you are
speaking, and particularly if it be a person of quality or of
merit, it is in accordance with good manners to give a slight
recapitulation of what has been advanced, and then carry out the
deduction of all the rest of the matter.

76th. While you are talking, Point not with your Finger at him of Whom you Discourse nor Approach too near him to whom you talk especially to his face

Chapter vi. 17. Ne montrez point au doigt la personne dont vous parlez, & ne vous approchez point trop prés de celuy que vous entretenez, non plus que de son visage, à qui il faut toûjours porter quelque reuerence.

Do not point your finger at the person of whom you are speaking, and do not go too near any one with whom you are conversing, especially not near his face, which should always be held in some reverence.

77th. Treat with men at fit Times about Business & Whisper not in the Company of Others

Chapter vi. 18. Si vous auez vne affaire particuliere à communiquer
a l'vne de deux personnes ou de plusieurs qui s'entretiennent
ensemble, expediez en trois mots, & ne luy dites pas en l'oreille
ce que vous auez à proposer; mais si la chose est secrette,
tirez-la tant soit peu à l'écart, s'il vous est possible, & que
rien ne vous en empesche; parlez luy en la langue que les
assistants entendent.

If you have any particular matter to communicate to one of two
persons or of several, who are talking together, finish it off in
three words, and do not whisper in his ear what you have to say; if
the matter be secret, take him aside a little, if possible, and
nothing prevents; speak to him in the language which those present
understand.

78th. Make no Comparisons and if any of the Company be Commended for any brave act of Virtue, commend not another for the Same

Chapter vii. 21. Abstenez vous de faire des comparaisons des
personnes l'vne auec l'autre; Et partant si l'on donne des loüanges
à quelqu'vn pour vne bonne action, ou pour sa vertu, gardez vous
bien de loüer la mesme vertu en quelque autre. Car toute
comparaison se trouue odieuse.

Abstain from drawing comparisons between different persons; and if
any one is praised for a good action, or for his virtue, do not
praise another for the same. For all comparisons are odious.

79th. Be not apt to relate News if you know not the truth thereof. In Discoursing of things you Have heard Name not your Author always A Secret Discover not

Chapter vii. 22. Ne faites pas aisément dessein de redire aux
autres les nouuelles & les rapports qui auront couru touchant les
rencontres des affaires, si vous n'auez vn garant de leur verité.
Et ne vous amusez pas en racontant ces vau-de-villes, d'en citer
l'Autheur, que vous ne soyez bien asseuré qu'il ne le trouuera pas
mauuais. Gardez tousiours bien le secret qui vous a esté confié &
ne le ditez à personne, de crainte qu'il ne soit diuulgué.

[Sidenote: The later French book says: 'Discover not the secret of a friend, it argues a shallow understanding and a weakness.']

Be not apt to relate rumours of events, if you know not their
truth. And in repeating such things do not mention your authority,
unless you are sure he will like it. Always keep the secret
confided to you; tell it to no one, lest it be divulged.

80th. Be not Tedious in Discourse or in reading unless you find the Company pleased therewith

Chapter vii. 23. Si vous racontez, ou lisez, ou entreprenez d'en
prouuer par raisonnements quoy que ce soit, tranchez-le-court, &
particulierement quand le suiet en est peu important, ou quand vous
reconnoissez les dégousts qu'en ont les Auditeurs.

If you are relating or reading anything, or arguing any point, be
brief,--particularly when the subject is of small importance, or if
you detect weariness in the listeners.

81st. Be not Curious to Know the Affairs of Others neither approach to those that Speak in Private

Chapter vii. 24. Ne témoignez pas de curiosité dans les affaires
d'autruy, & ne vous approchez dé là où l'on parle en secret.

Do not show any curiosity about other people's affairs, and do not
go near the place where persons are talking in private.

82d. Undertake not what you cannot Perform but be Carefull to keep your Promise

Chapter vii. 25. Ne vous chargez point d'vne chose dont vous ne
vous pouuez acquiter; maintenez ce que vous auez promis.

Do not undertake anything that you cannot perform; keep your
promise.

83d. When you deliver a matter do it without Passion & with Discretion, however mean y'e Person be you do it too

Chapter vii. 27. Quand vous faites vne ambassade, vn rapport, ou
donnez l'ouuerture de quelque affaire, taschez de le faire sans
passion & auec discretion, soit que vous ayez à traitter auec
personnes de peu, ou personnes de qualité.

When you fulfil a mission, deliver a report, or undertake the
opening of any matter, try to do it dispassionately and discreetly,
whether those with whom you have to treat be of humble or high
position.

84th. When your Superiours talk to any Body hearken not neither Speak nor Laugh

Chapter vii. 27. Quand ceux qui out sur vous commandement, parlent
à quelqu'vn, gardez vous bien de parler, de rire, ou de les
escouter.

When your Superiors talk to any one, do not speak, laugh, or
listen.

85th. In Company of these of Higher Quality than yourself Speak not till you are ask'd a Question then Stand upright put of your Hat & Answer in few words

Chapter vii. 30. Estant auec de plus grands que vous,
principalement s'ils ont du pouuoir sur vous, ne parlez pas deuant
que d'estre interrogé, & alors leuez-vous debout, découurez-vous, &
répondez en pen de mots, si toutesfois l'on ne vous donne congé de
vous asseoir, ou de vous tenir couuert.

Being with persons of higher position than yourself, and especially
if they have authority over you, do not speak until you are
interrogated; then rise, remove your hat, and answer in few
words,--unless indeed you are invited to remain seated, or to keep
your hat on.

86th. In Disputes, be not so Desirous to Overcome as not to give Liberty to each one to deliver his Opinion and Submit to y'e Judgment of y'e Major Part especially if they are Judges of the Dispute.

Chapter vii. 31. Dans les disputes qui arriuent, principalement en
conuersation, ne soyez pas si desireux de gagner, que vous ne
laissiez dire a chacun son aduis, & soit que vous ayez tort, ou
raison, vous deuez acquiescer au jugement du plus grand nombre, ou
mesme des plus fascheux, & beaucoup plus de ceux de qui vous
dépendez, ou qui sont juges de la dispute.

In disputes that arise, especially in conversation, be not so
desirous to overcome as not to leave each one liberty to deliver
his opinion; and whether you be wrong or right you should acquiesce
in the judgment of the majority, or even of the most persistent,
all the more if they are your masters or patrons, or judges of the
discussion.

87th. [Let your bearing be such] as becomes a Man Grave Settled and attentive [to what is said, without being too serious. Contra]dict not at every turn what others Say

Chapter vii. 35. Vostre maintien soit d'homme moderément graue,
posé, & attentif a ce qui se dit, afin de n'auoir pas à dire à tout
propos: _Comment ditez-vous? comment se passe cela? je ne vous ay
pas entendu_, & d'autres semblables niaiseries.

33. Ne contredictes pas a tout bout de champ, à ce que disent les
autres, en contestant & disant: Il n'est pas ainsi, la chose est
comme je la dy; mais rapportez-vous en à l'opinion des autres
principalement dans les choses, qui sont de peu de consequence.

35. Let your bearing be that of a moderately grave, serious man,
and attentive to what is said so as to avoid having to say every
moment: _'How did that happen? I did not understand you,'_--and
other similar foolish remarks.

33. Do not continually contradict what others say, by disputing and
saying: 'That is not the case, it is as I say;' but defer to the
opinion of others, especially in matters of small consequence.

88th. Be not tedious in Discourse, make not many Digressions, nor repeat often the Same manner of Discourse

Chapter vii. 39. N'employez pas vn an à vostre preface, & en
certaines longues excuses ou ceremonies, en disant, _Monsieur:
excusez-moy! si ie ne sçay pas si bien dire,_ &c., _toutesfois pour
vous obeyr_, &c., & autres semblables ennuyeuses and sottes
trainées de paroles; mais entrez promptement en matiere tant que
faire se pourra auec vne hardiesse moderée: Et puis poursuiuez,
sans vous troubler, iusques à la fin. Ne soyez pas long; sans
beaucoup de digressions, ne reïterez pas souuent vne mesme façon de
dire.

Do not take a year in your preface, or in certain long apologies or
ceremonies, such as: '_Pardon me Sir if I do not know how to
express myself sufficiently well_, &.c.; _nevertheless in order to
obey you_,' &c., and other similarly tedious and stupid
circumlocutions; but enter promptly on the subject, as far as
possible, with moderate boldness; then continue to the end without
hesitation. Do not be prolix; avoid digressions; do not often
reiterate the same expression.

89th. Speak not Evil of the absent for it is unjust

Hawkins vi. 40. Speak not evill of one absent, for it is unjust to
detract from the worth of any, or besmeare a good name by
condemning, where the party is not present, to clear himselfe, or
undergo a rationall conviction.

90th. Being Set at meat Scratch not neither Spit Cough or blow your Nose except there's a Necessity for it

Chapter viii. 2. Estant assis à table, ne vous grattez point, &
vous gardez tant que vous pourrez, de cracher, de tousser, de vous
moucher: que s'il y a necessité, faites-le adroitement, sans
beaucoup de bruit, en tournant le visage de costé.

Being seated at the table, do not scratch yourself, and if you can
help it, do not spit, cough, or blow your nose; should either be
necessary do it adroitly, with least noise, turning the face aside.

_(In the Washington MS. there is a notable omission of all that is
said in the French and English books concerning grace before meat.
At Washington's table grace was never said.)_

91st. Make no Shew of taking great Delight in your Victuals, Feed not with Greediness; cut your Bread with a Knife, lean not on the Table neither find fault with what you Eat.

Chapter viii. 3. Ne prenez pas vostre repas en gourmand.

4. Ne rompez point le pain auec les mains, mais auec le cousteau,
si ce n'estoit vn pain fort petil & tout frais, & que tous les
autres fissent de mesme, ou la pluspart.

5. Ne vous iettez pas sur table, à bras estendus iusques aux
coudes, & ne vous accostez pas indecemment les épaules ou les bras
sur vostre siege.

8. Ne monstrez nullement d'avoir pris plaisir à la viande, ou au
vin; mais si celuy que vous traittez, vous en demande vostre goust,
vous pourrez luy respondre avec modestie & prudence: beaucoup moins
faut il blasmer les viandes, ou en demander d'autres, ny dauantage.

3. Eat not like a glutton. (4.) Do not break the bread with your
hands, but with a knife; unless, indeed, it is a small and quite
fresh roll, and where the others present, or most of them, use
their hands. (5.) Do not throw yourself on the table, as far as the
elbows, nor unbecomingly rest shoulders or arms on your chair.
(8.) Do not make a show of taking delight in your food, or in the
wine; but if your host inquires your preference you should answer
with modesty and tact: whatever you do, do not complain of the
dishes, ask for others, or anything of that sort.

_(At Washington's table it was a custom to invite each guest to
call for the wine he preferred.)_

92d. Take no Salt or cut Bread with your Knife Greasy.

Chapter viii. 9. Prenant du sel, gardez que le cousteau ne soit
gras: quand il le faut nettoyer, ou la fourchette on le peut faire
honnestement auec vn peu de pain, ou comme il se pratique en
certains lieux, auec la serviette, mais iamais sur le pain entier.

In taking salt be careful that the knife is not greasy: when
necessary your knife or fork may with propriety be cleaned on a
piece of bread,--or, as is done in some places, with the
napkin,--but it must never be wiped on the whole loaf.

93d. Entertaining any one at table it is decent to present him w't meat, Undertake not to help others undesired by y'e Master

Chapter viii. 10. Traittant quelqu'vn, il est de la bien-seance de
le seruir en table, & luy presenter des viandes, voire mesme de
celles qui sont proches de luy. Que si l'on estoit invité chez
autruy, il est plus à propos d'attendre que le Maistre ou vn autre
serue, que de prendre des viandes soy-mesme, si ce n'estoit que le
Maistre priast les conuiez de prendre librement, ou que l'on fust
en maison familiere. L'on se doit aussi peu ingerer à seruir les
autres hors de sa maison, où l'on avoir peu de pouuoir, n'étoit que
le nombre des conuiez fust grand, & que le Maistre de la maison ne
peust pas avoir l'oeil sur tout; Et pour lors l'on peut seruir ceux
qui sont proches de soy.

When entertaining any one it is polite to serve him at table and to
present the dishes to him, even such as are near him. When invited
by another it is more seemly to wait to be served by the host, or
some one else, than to take the dishes oneself, unless the host
begs the guests to help themselves freely, or one is at home in the
house. One ought also not to be officious in helping others when
out of one's own house, where one has but little authority, unless
the guests are very numerous and the host cannot attend to
everything; in that case we may help those nearest us.

[9]4th. If you Soak bread in the Sauce let it be no more than what you put in your Mouth at a time and blow not your broth at Table but Stay till Cools of it Self

Chapter viii. 14. Si vous trempez en la saulce le pain ou la chair,
ne les trempez pas derechef, apres y auoir mordu, trempez-y à
chaque fois vn morceau mediocre, qui se puisse manger tout d'vne
bouchée.

11. Ne soufflez point sur les viandes; mais si elles sont chaudes,
attendez qu'elles se refroidissent: le potage se pourra refroidir,
le remuant modestement auec la cuilliere, mais il ne sied pas bien
de humer son potage en table, il le faut prendre auec la cuilliere.

If you dip bread or meat into the gravy, do not do so immediately
after biting a piece off, but dip each time a moderately-sized
morsel which can be eaten at one mouthful. (11.) Do not blow on the
viands, but if they are hot, wait till they cool. Soup may be
cooled by stirring it gently with a spoon, but it is not becoming
to drink up the soup at table. It should be taken with a spoon.

95th. Put not your meat to your Mouth with your Knife in your hand neither Spit forth the Stones of any fruit Pye upon a Dish nor cast anything under the table

Chapter viii. 17. Ne portez pas le morceau à la bouche, tenant le
cousteau en la main, à la mode des villageois.

16. Aussi ne semble-il bien seant de cracher les noyaux de prunes,
cerises, ou autre chose semblable sur le plat; mais premierement on
doit les recueiller decemment, comme il a esté dit, en la main
gauche, l'approchant à la bouche, & puis les mettre sur le bord de
l'assiette.

[Sidenote: Maxim 15 is much longer]

15. L'on ne doit point jetter sous la table, ou par terre, les os,
les écorces, le vin ou autre chose semblable.

Do not carry a morsel to your mouth, knife in hand, like the
rustics. (16.) Moreover, it does not seem well bred to spit out the
kernels of prunes, cherries, or anything of the kind, on your
plate, but, as already said, they should be decently collected in
the left hand (raised to the mouth), and placed on the edge of the
plate. (15.) Bones, peel, wine, and the like, should not be thrown
under the table.

96th. Its unbecoming to Stoop much to one's Meat Keep your Fingers clean & when foul wipe them on a Corner of your Table Napkin.

Chapter viii. 21. Il est messeant de se baisser beaucoup sur son
escuelle ou sur la viande, c'est assez de s'encliner vn peu lors
que l'on porte le morceau trempé à la bouche, de crainte de se
salir, & puis redresser la teste.

25. Ne vous nettoyez pas les mains à vostre pain, s'il est entier;
toutesfois les ayant fort grasses, il semble que vous les puissiez
nettoyer premierement à vn morceau de pain que vous ayez à manger
tout à l'heure & puis à la seruiette, afin de ne la point tant
salir: ce qui vous arriuera rarement, si vous sçauez vous seruir de
la cuilliere, & de la fourchette, selon le style des plus
honnestes. Beaucoup moins deuez vous lêcher les doigts,
principalement les sucçant auec grand bruit.

It is ill-bred to stoop too close to one's porringer or the meat.
It suffices to bend a little when conveying a soaked morsel to
one's mouth, in order to avoid soiling oneself, then straighten up
again. (25.) Do not clean your hands on a loaf; if very greasy you
might, it would seem, partly clean them on a bit of bread you are
about to eat, then on your napkin, so as not to soil the latter too
much: this will rarely happen if you know how to use spoon and
fork in the most approved manner. Much less should you lick your
fingers, especially not suck them noisily.

[9]7th. Put not another bit into your Mouth till the former be Swallowed let not your Morsels be too big for the jowls

Chapter viii. 30. Ne portez pas le morceau à la bouche que l'autre
ne soil auallé, & que tous soient tels qu'ils ne fassent pas enfler
les jouës hors de mesure; ne vous seruez pas des deux mains pour
vous mettre le morceau à la bouche, mais seruez vous d'ordinaire de
la droite.

Carry not another morsel to the mouth till the other be swallowed,
and let each be such as will not stretch the jaws beyond measure;
do not take both hands to raise a morsel to the mouth, but,
usually, serve yourself with the right hand.

98th. Drink not nor talk with your mouth full neither Gaze about you while you are a Drinking

Chapter viii. 32. Ne boiuez ayant le morceau en la bouche, ne
demandez point à boire, ne parlez, ne vous versez point à boire, &
ne boiuez cependant que vostre voisin boit, ou celuy qui est au
haut bout.

33. En boiuant, ne regardez point çà & là.

[Sidenote: The later French book recommends keeping the eyes 'fixed at the bottom of the glass' while drinking.]

Do not drink with your mouth full of food; do not ask anything
while drinking, nor talk, nor turn round; and do not drink because
your neighbour does, or the head of the table. (33.) While
drinking, gaze not here and there.

99th. Drink not too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after Drinking wipe your Lips breath not then or Ever with too Great a Noise, for its uncivil

Chapter viii. 34. Ne boiuez point trop lentement ny trop à la
haste, ny comme en maschant le vin, ny trop souuent ny sans eau,
car c'est à faire aux yvrognes. Deuant & apres que vous aurez beu,
effuyez-vous les lévres, & ne respirez pas auec trop grand bruit,
ny alors, ny iamais, car c'est vne chose bien inciuile.

Drink neither too slowly nor too hastily, nor as if gulping the
wine, nor too frequently, nor without water--as drunkards do.
Wipe your lips before and after drinking, and do not breathe too
loudly then or at any other time, for that is very inelegant.

100th. Cleanse not your teeth with the Table Cloth Napkin Fork or Knife but if Others do it let it be done w't a Pick Tooth

Chapter viii. 36. Ne vous nettoyez pas les dents auec la nappe, ou
la seruiette, ny auec le doigt, la fourchette, ou le cousteau. Ce
seroit faire pis de le faire auec les ongles, mais faites-le auec
le curedent. Aussi ne semble-il estre bien-seant de se les nettoyer
en table, si ce n'estoit que les autres le fissent, & que ce fust
la coustume des mieux ciuilisez.

Do not clean your teeth with the tablecloth, napkin, finger, fork,
or knife. It were still more objectionable to do so with the
nails. Use a toothpick. It also does not appear well-bred to pick
them at table, unless others do so, and where such is a custom of
the more gentlemanly.

101st. Rince not your Mouth in the Presence of Others

Chapter viii. 37. Ne vous rincez point la bouche auec du vin, pour
le reietter en presence des autres; mais sorty que vous serez de
table, accoustumez vous à lauer les mains auec les autres. Quant à
la bouche, il semble n'estre pas à propos de la lauer en presence
des gens, & partant quand l'on donne à lauer, mesme en table, l'on
doit seulement lauer les mains.

Do not rinse your mouth with wine, to be rejected in the presence
of others; but, having left the table, accustom yourself to wash
your hands with the rest. As to the mouth, it does not appear
proper to wash it in company at all, and consequently when an
opportunity of washing is offered, even at the table, the hands
only should be washed.

102d. It is out of use to call upon the Company often to Eat nor need you Drink to others every Time you Drink

Chapter viii. 38. C'est chose peu loüable & presque aujourd'huy
hors d'vsage, d'inuiter la compagnie à manger, principalement trop
souuent & auec importunité, car il semble qu'on luy osté la
liberté. Beaucoup moins deuez-vous boire à autruy toutes les fois
que vous boiuez: que si l'on boit à vous, vous pouuez le refuser
modestement, remerciant de bonne grace, & confessant de vous
rendre; ou bien essayez vn peu le vin par courtoisie,
principalement auec gens qui sont accoustumez. à cela, & prennent
le refus à iniure.

It is not commendable, and now almost out of fashion, to call on
the company to eat, especially to invite them too often and
urgently, for it appears to take away their freedom. Much less
should you drink to others every time you drink: if one drinks to
you, it is permissible to decline modestly, thanking him
gracefully, and acknowledging your response; or you may well sip a
little wine for courtesy, especially with people who are accustomed
to it, and who are offended by refusal.

103d. In Company of your Betters be not [longer in eating] than they are lay not your Arm but ar[ise with only a touch on the edge of the table.]

Chapter viii. 42. Quand les autres ont acheué de manger, despechez
vous aussi, & ne tenez pas les bras sur la table, mais posez les
mains seulement sur le bout.

When the rest have finished eating, you should do the same quickly;
do not hold your arms on the table, but only place your hands on
the edge of it.

104th. It belongs to y'e Chiefest in Company to unfold his Napkin and fall to Meat first, But he ought to begin in time & to Dispatch with Dexterity that y'e Slowest may have time allowed him

Chapter viii. 45. C'est à faire au plus honnorable de la compagnie
de déplier le premier sa seruiette, & toucher aux viandes: &
partant les autres doiuent attendre paisiblement sans mettre la
main à chose aucune deuant lui.

46. Et au contraire il doit estre soigneux de commencer en son
temps, de pouruoir à tout, d'entretenir les conuiez, & finir le
tout auec telle addresse; qu'il donne temps aux plus tardifs de
manger à leur aise, s'entretenant, s'il est de besoin, à gouster
legerement des viandes, ou quand il est loisible de discourir à
table; entremesler auec le manger quelque petit discours, afin que
les autres puissent auec loisir d'acheuer.

It is for the most distinguished member of the company to unfold
first his napkin and touch the food, and the rest should wait
quietly, without laying hand on anything before he does. (46.) On
the other hand, he ought in due time to commence, to consider
everything, entertaining the guests, and managing all so adroitly
as to give time to the more dilatory to eat at their leisure; if
necessary for this, slowly tasting the viands, or, when table-talk
is permissible, introducing a little chat during the meal, so that
the others can finish at their ease.

[Sidenote: Toner has 'but' instead of 'put' in this Rule.]

105th. Be not Angry at Table whatever happens & if you have reason to be so, Shew it not put on a Chearfull Countenance especially if there be Strangers for good Humour makes one Dish of Meat a Feast

Chapter viii. 47. Ne vous fâchez iamais en table, quoy qu'il
aduienne, ou bien si vous vous fâchez, n'ent faites point de
semblant, principalement y ayant des estrangers à table.

[Sidenote: Hawkins vii. 40. 'A cheerefull countenance makes one dish a Feast.']

Never be angry at table, no matter what may happen, or even if you
have cause for anger, do not show it, especially if strangers are
present.

[Sidenote: There is a blank in the MS. after upper.]

106th. Set not yourself at y'e upper [end] of y'e Table but if it be your Due or that y'e Master of y'e house will have it so, Contend not least you Should Trouble y'e company.

Chapter viii. 48. Ne vous asséez point de vous mesme au haut-bout;
miais s'il vous appartient, ou si le maistre du logis le veut
ainsi, ne faites pas tant de resistance pour n'y point aller, que
vous fachiez toute la compagnie.

[Sidenote: Walker: 'Desire not the highest place, nor be troublesome with impertinent debasing yourself by refusing,' etc.]

Seat not yourself voluntarily at the top; but if the place properly
belongs to you, or the master of the house so wills, do not offer
so much resistance to its acceptance as to annoy the company.

107th. If others talk at Table be attentive but talk not with Meat in your Mouth

Chapter viii. 49. Si on lit ou deuise en table, soyez attentif, &
s'il faut parler, ne parlez point auec le morceau en la bouche.

If there be reading or chat at table, be attentive, and if you have
to speak, do not speak with your mouth full.

108th. When you Speak of God or his Attributes, let it be Seriously & [with words of] Reverence. Honour & obey your Natural Parents altho they be Poor

Hawkins vii. 43. Let thy speeches be seriously reverent when thou
speakest of God or his Attributes, for to jest or utter thy selfe
lightly in matters divine, is an unhappy impiety, provoking heaven
to justice, and urging all men to suspect thy beliefe.--vii.
_(unnumbered)_ Honour and obey thy natural parents although they be
poor; for if thy earthly Parents cannot give thee riches and
honour, yet thy heavenly Father hath promised thee length of days.

_(There is nothing in the French Maxims corresponding to the second
sentence of Rule 108. The Maxim nearest to the first sentence is
the 9th of Chapter i.:--"Il se faut bien garder de prononcer aucuns
nouueaux mots, quand l'on parle de Dieu ou des Saincts, & d'en
faire de sots contes, soit tout bon, ou par raillerie." "Avoid
irreverent words in speaking of God, or of the Saints, and of
telling foolish stories about them, either in jest or earnest."
Compare also the last sentence of Maxim vii, 11, ante, under Rule
72.)_

109th. Let your Recreations be Manfull not Sinfull.

Hawkins vii. _(unnumbered)._ Let thy recreations be manful not
sinful; there is a great vanity in the baiting of Beasts, the Bears
and Bulls lived quietly enough before the fall; it was our sin that
set them together by the ears, rejoyce not therefore to see them
fight, for that would be to glory in thy shame.

110th. Labour to keep alive in your Breast that Little Spark of Celestial fire called Conscience.

Hawkins vii. _(unnumbered)._ Labour to keep alive in thy breast,
that little sparke of Celestial fire called Conscience, for
Conscience to an evil man is a never dying worm, but unto a good
man its a perpetual feast.