Chapter II: Introduction (1)

No man ever had a stronger inclination for travelling than myself. I consider’d the whole earth as my country, and all mankind as my brethren, and therefore thought it incumbent upon me to travel thro’ the earth and visit my brethren. I have walk’d over the ruins of the antient world, have view’d the monuments of modern pride, and, at the sight of all-devouring time, have wept over both. I have often found great folly among the nations that pass for the most civiliz’d, and sometimes as great wisdom among those that are counted the most savage. I have seen small states supported by virtue, and mighty empires shaken by vice, whilst a mistaken policy has been employ’d to inrich the subjects, without any endeavours to render them virtuous.

After having gone over the whole world and visited all the inhabitants, I find it does not answer the pains I have taken. I have just been reviewing my memoirs concerning the several nations, their prejudices, their customs and manners, their politicks, their laws, their religion, their history; and I have thrown them all into the fire. It grieves me to record such a monstrous mixture of humanity and barbarousness, of grandeur and meanness, of reason and folly.

The small part, I have preserv’d, is what I am now publishing. If it has no other merit, certainly it has novelty to recommend it.

CHAP. I.
THE HURRICANE.

I was on the borders of Guinea towards the desarts that bound it on the North. I contemplated the immense wilds, the very idea of which shocks the firmest mind. On a sudden I was seized with an ardent desire to penetrate into those desarts and see how far nature denies herself to mankind. Perhaps (said I) among these scorching plains there is some fertile spot unknown to the rest of the world. Perhaps I shall find men who have neither been polished nor corrupted by commerce with others.

In vain did I represent to myself the dangers and even the almost certain death to which such an enterprize would expose me; I could not drive the thought out of my head. One winter’s day (for it was in the dog-days) the wind being southwest, the sky clear, and the air temperate, furnished with something to asswage hunger and thirst, with a glass-mask to save my eyes from the clouds of sands, and with a compass to guide my steps, I sate out from the borders of Guinea and advanced into the desart.

I went on two whole days without seeing any thing extraordinary: in the beginning of the third I perceived all around me nothing but a few almost sapless shrubs and some tufts of rushes, most of which were dried up by the heat of the sun. These are nature’s last productions in those barren regions; here her teeming virtue stops, nor can life be farther extended in those frightful solitudes.

I had scarce continued my course two hours over a sandy soil, where the eye meets no object but scattered rocks, when the wind growing higher, began to put in motion the surface of the sands. At first, the sand only played about the foot of the rocks and formed small waves which lightly skimmed over the plain. Such are the little billows which are seen to rise and gently roll on the surface of the water when the sea begins to grow rough at the approach of a storm. The sandy waves soon became larger, dashed and broke one another; and I was exposed to the most dreadful of hurricanes.

Frequent whirlwinds arose, which collecting the sands carried them in rapid gyrations to a vast height with horrible whistlings. Instantly after, the sands, left to themselves, fell down in strait lines and formed mountains. Clouds of dust were mixed with the clouds of the atmosphere, and heaven and earth seemed jumbled together. Sometimes the thickness of the whirlwinds deprived me entirely of the light of the sun: and sometimes red transparent sands shone from afar: the air appeared in a blaze, and the sky seemed dissolved into sparks of fire.

Mean time, now tossed into the air by a sudden gust of wind, and now hurled down by my own weight, I found myself one while in clouds of sand, and another while in a gulf. Every moment I should have been either buried or dashed in pieces, had not a benevolent Being (who will appear presently) protected me from all harm.

The terrible hurricane ceased with the day: the night was calm, and weariness overcoming my fears, I fell asleep.

CHAP. II.
THE FINE PROSPECT.

The sun was not yet risen, when I wak’d: but the first rays enlighten’d the east and objects began to be visible. Sleep had recover’d my strength and calm’d my spirits: when I was awake, my fears return’d, and the image of death presented itself again to my anxious thoughts.

I was standing on a high rock, from whence I could view every thing round me. I cast, with horror, my eyes on that sandy region, where I thought I should have found my grave. What was my surprise when towards the north I spied an even, vast and fertile plain! From a state of the profoundest sorrow in an instant I pass’d (which usually requires time) to a state of the highest joy; nature put on a new face; and the frightful view of so many rocks confusedly dispers’d among the sands serv’d only to render more affecting and more agreeable the prospect of that delightful plain, I was going to enter. O nature! how admirable are thy distributions! how wisely manag’d the various scenes thou presentest to our sight!

The plants, which grow on the edge of the plain are very small; the soil does not yet supply sufficient moisture: but as you advance, vegetation flourishes, and gives them a larger size and more height. The trees are seen to rise by degrees and soon afford a shelter under their boughs. At last, trees co-eval with the world appear with their tops in the clouds and form an immense amphitheatre which majestically displays itself to the eyes of the traveller and proclaims that such a habitation is not made for mortals.

Every thing seem’d new to me in this unknown land; every thing threw me into astonishment. Not any of Nature’s productions which my eyes eagerly ran over resembles those that are seen any where else. Trees, plants, insects, reptiles, fishes, birds, all were form’d in a manner extraordinary, and at the same time elegant and infinitely varied. But what struck me with the greatest wonder, was that an universal sensibility, cloath’d with all imaginable forms animated the bodies that seem’d the least susceptible of it: even to the very plants all gave signs of sensation.

I walk’d on slowly in this enchanted abode. A delicious coolness kept my senses open to the pleasure; a sweet scent glided into my blood with the air I breath’d; my heart beat with an unusual force: and joy enlighten’d my soul in its most gloomy recesses.

CHAP. III.
THE VOICE.

One thing surprised me: I did not see any inhabitants in these gardens of delight. I know not how many ideas disturbed my mind on that occasion, when a voice struck my ears, uttering these words: “Stop and look stedfastly before thee; behold him who has inspired thee to undertake so dangerous a voyage.” Amazed, I looked a good while and saw nothing: at last I perceived a sort of spot, a kind of shade fixed in the air a few paces from me. I continued to look at it more attentively, and fancied, I saw a human form with a countenance so mild and ingaging that instead of being terrified, the sight was to me a fresh motive of joy.

I am (said the benevolent Shade) the Prefect of this Island. Thy inclination to Philosophy has prepossessed me in thy favour: I have followed thee in thy late journey and defended thee from the hurricane. I will now show thee the rarities of the place; and then I will take care to restore thee safe to thy country.

This Solitude with which thou art so charmed, stands in the midst of a tempestuous ocean of moving sands; it is an island surrounded with inaccessible desarts, which no mortal can pass without a supernatural aid. Its name is GIPHANTIA. It was given to the elementary spirits, the day before the Garden of Eden was allotted to the parent of mankind. Not that the spirits spend their time here in ease and sloth. What would you do, O ye feeble mortals! If dispersed in the air, in the sea, in the bowels of the earth, in the sphere of fire, they did not incessantly watch for your welfare? Without our care, the unbridled elements would long since have effaced all remains of the human kind. Why cannot we preserve you entirely from their disorderly sallies? Alass! our power extends not so far: we cannot totally screen you from all the evils that surround you: we only prevent your utter destruction.

It is here the elementary spirits come to refresh themselves after their labours; it is here they hold their assemblies, and concert the best measures for the administration of the elements.

CHAP. IV.
THE REVERSE.

Of all the Countries in the world (added the Prefect) Giphantia is the only one where nature still preserves her primitive vigor. She is incessantly labouring to increase the numerous tribes of Vegetables and Animals, and to produce new kinds. She organizes all with admirable skill; but she does not always succeed, in rendering them perpetual. The Mechanism of propagation is the master-piece of her wisdom: sometimes she fails and her productions return for ever into nothing. We cherish, with our utmost care, such as are sufficiently organized to produce their kind; and then plant them out in the Earth.

A Naturalist wonders sometimes to find plants that had never been noticed before: it is because we had just then supplied the earth with them, of which he had not the least suspicion.

Sometimes also these Exotics not meeting with a proper Climate, decay by degrees and the species is lost. Such are those productions which are mention’d by the Antients and which the Moderns complain are no where to be found.

Such a plant still subsists but has long droop’d, and lost its qualities, and deceives the Physician who is daily disappointed. The Art is blam’d; it is not known that the fault is in Nature.

I have now a collection of new simples of the greatest virtue; and I should have imparted them to mankind before now, had there not been strong reasons to induce me to delay it.

For instance, I have a sovereign plant to fix the human mind, and which would give steadiness even to a Babylonian: but for these fifty years I have been diligently observing Babylon, and have not found one single moment, wherein the Inclinations, Customs, and Manners have been worth fixing.

I have another plant, most excellent for checking the too lively sallies of the spirit of invention: but thou knowest how rare these sallies are now-a-days: never was invention at a lower ebb. One would think that every thing has been said, and that nothing more remained but to adapt things to the taste and mode of the age.

I have a root which would never fail to allay that sourness of the Learned who censure one another: but I observe that without their abusing and railing at each other, no man would concern himself about their disputes. It is a sort of pleasure to see them bring themselves as well as Learning into contempt. I leave the malignity of the readers to divert themselves with the malignity of the Authors.

Moreover, do not imagine that nature sleeps in any part of the earth; she strenuously labours even in those infinitely minute spaces where the eye cannot reach. At Giphantia, she disposes matter on extraordinary plans, and perpetually tends to produce something new: she every where incessantly repeats her labours, still endeavouring to carry her works to a degree of perfection which she never attains. These flowers which so agreeably strike the eye, she strives to render still more beautiful. These animals, which to you seem so dextrous, she endeavours to render still more so. In short, Man that to you appears so superior to the rest, she tries to render still more perfect; but in this her endeavours prove the most unsuccessful.

Indeed, one would think that mankind do all in their power to remain in a much lower rank than nature designs them! and they seldom fail to turn to their hurt the best dispositions she gives them for their Good. On the Babylonians, for instance, nature has bestowed an inexhaustible fund of agreeableness. Her aim was manifestly to form a people the most aimable. They were made to enliven reason, to root out the thorns that spring from the approaches of the sciences, to soften the austerity of wisdom, and, if possible, to adorn virtue. Thou knowest it: her favours which should have been diffused on these objects have been diverted from their destination; and frivolousness and debauchery have been cloathed with them. In the hands of the Babylonians, vice loses all her deformity. Behold in their manners, their discourses, their writings, with what discretion vice unveils herself, with what art she ingages, with what address she insinuates: you have not yet thought of her, and she is seated in your heart. Even he who, by his function, lifts up his voice against her, dares not paint her in her true colours. In a word, no where does vice appear less vice than at Babylon. Even to the very names, all things are changed, all things are softened. The sincere and honest are now-a-days your modish men who are outwardly all complaisance but inwardly full of corruption: Good company are not the Virtuous but those who excel in palliating vice. The man of fortitude is not he that bears the shocks of fortune unmoved, but he that braves Providence. Bare-faced Irreligion is now styled free-thinking, blasphemy is called boldness of speech, and the most shameful excesses, Gallantry. Thus it is that with what they might become a pattern to all nations, the Babylonians (to say no worse) are grown libertines of the most seducing and most dangerous kind.

CHAP. V.
THE APPARITIONS.

I return (continues the Prefect of Giphantia) to the elementary spirits. Their constant abode in the air, always full of vapours and exhalations; in the sea, ever mixed with salts and earths; in the fire, perpetually used about a thousand heterogeneous bodies; in the earth, where all the other elements are blended together: this abode, I say, by degrees spoils the pure essence of the spirits, whose original nature is to be (as to their material substance) all fire, all air, or other unmixt element. This degradation has sometimes gone so far, as that by the mixture of the different elements, the spirits have acquired a sufficient consistence to render them visible. People have seen them in the fire and called them Salamanders, and Cyclops: they have seen them in the air and called them Sylphs, Zephyrs, Aquilons: they have seen them in the water and called them Sea-nymphs, Naiads, Nereids, Tritons: they have seen them in caverns, desarts, woods, and have called them Gnomes, Sylvans, Fauns, Satyrs, _&c._

From the astonishment caused by these Apparitions, men sunk into fear, and fear begot superstition. To these, Creatures like themselves, they erected altars which belong only to the Creator. Their imagination magnifying what they had seen, they soon formed a Hierarchy of Chimerical Deities. The Sun appeared to them a luminous chariot guided by Apollo through the celestial plains; Thunder, a fiery bolt darted by Jupiter at the heads of the guilty: the Ocean, a vast empire, where Neptune ruled the waves: the bowels of the earth, the gloomy residence of Pluto, where he gave laws to the pale and timorous Ghosts: in a word, they filled the world with Gods and Goddesses. The Earth itself became a Deity.

When the elementary Spirits perceived how apt their Apparitions were to lead men into error, they took measures to be no longer visible: they devised a sort of refiner by which from time to time they get rid of all extraneous matter. From thence forward, no mortal eye has ever seen the least glimpse of these spirits.

CHAP. VI.
THE SURFACES.

Mean while the Prefect moved on and I followed, quite astonished and pensive. At our coming out of the wood we found ourselves before a hill, at the foot of which stood a hollow column above a hundred feet high and thick in proportion. I saw issuing out of the top of the column vapours (much like the exhalations raised by the sun) in such abundance that they were very visible. From the same column I saw coming out and dispersing themselves in the air certain human forms, certain images still lighter than the vapours by which they were supported.

Behold (says the Prefect) the Refiner of the Elementary Spirits. The column is filled with four Essences, each of which has been extracted from each element. The Spirits plunge into them, and by a mechanism, too long to be described, get rid of all extraneous matter. The images which thou seest coming out of the column, are nothing more than very thin surfaces which surrounded them and served to make them visible. These surfaces partake of the different qualities of the spirits who excel more or less in certain respects, as visages are expressive of the characters of men, who differ infinitely. Thus, there are images or surfaces of science, of learning, of prudence, of wisdom, _&c._

Men often cloath themselves with them, and like masks these surfaces make them appear very different from what they really are. Hence it is that you constantly meet with the appearance of every good, of every virtue and every quality, though the things themselves are scarce to be found any where.

At Babylon especially, these surfaces are in singular esteem: all is seen there in appearance. A Babylonian had rather be nothing and appear every thing than to be every thing and appear nothing. So, you see only surfaces every where and of every kind.

Surface of modesty, the only thing needful for a Babylonian lady: it is called decency.

Surface of friendship, by the means of which all Babylon seems to be but one family. Friendship is like a strong band made of very weak threads twisted together. A Babylonian is tied to no one by the band, but he is tied to each of his fellow-citizens by a single thread.

Surface of piety, formerly much in use and of great influence, now-a-days totally in disrepute. It gives people a certain Gothic air quite ridiculous in the eyes of the moderns. It is now found only among a few adherents to the old bigots, and in an order of men, who, on account of their function, cannot lay it aside, how desirous soever they may be.

Surface of opulence, one of the most striking things in Babylon. Behold in the Temples, in the Assemblies, in the publick Walks, those citizens so richly dressed, those women so adorned, those children so neat, so lively, and who promise so fair to be one day as frivolous as their fathers: follow them to their homes; furniture of the best taste, commodious apartments, houses like little palaces, all continues to proclaim opulence. But stop there: if you go any farther, you will see families in distress and hearts overflowing with cares.

Surface of probity, for the use of Politicians and those who concern themselves with the management of others. These great men cannot be as honest as the lower people; they have certain maxims from which they think it essential never to depart, and from which it is no less essential that they appear extremely remote.

Surface of patriotism, of which the real substance has long since disappeared. We must distinguish, in the conduct of the Babylonians, between the Theory and the Practice. The Theory turns entirely upon Patriotism. Publick Good, national Interest, Glory of the Babylonian Name, all this is the language of Theory. The Practice hangs solely upon the hinge of private interest. It is very remarkable that in this respect the Babylonians have long been dupes of one another. Each plainly perceived that _Country_ did not much affect him; but he heard others talk of it so often and so affectionately that he verily believed there was still such a thing as a true Patriot. But now their eyes are open and they see that all are alike.

CHAP. VII.
THE GLOBE.

Such is the lot of the elementary spirits, continued the Prefect of Giphantia. No sooner are they out of the probation-column where they are purified, but they return to their usual labours: and to see where their presence is most necessary, and where men have most need of their assistance. At their coming out of the column they ascend this hill. There by a mechanism which required the utmost skill of the spirits, every thing that passes in all parts of the world is seen and heard. Thou art going to try the experiment thy self.

On each side of the column is a large stair-case of above a hundred steps which leads to the top of the hill. We went up; and were scarce half way when my ears were struck with a disagreeable humming which increased as we advanced. When we came to a platform in which the hill ends, the first thing that struck my eyes was a Globe of a considerable diameter. From the Globe proceeded the noise which I heard. At a distance it was a humming; nearer, it was a frightful thundering noise, formed by a confused mixture of shouts for joy, ravings of despair, shrieks, complaints, singings, murmurs, acclamations, laughter, groans, and whatever proclaims the immoderate sorrow and extravagant joy of mortals.

Small imperceptible pipes (said the Prefect) come from each point of the earth’s surface and end at this Globe. The inside is organized so that the motion of the air which is propagated through the imperceptible pipes, and grows weaker in time, resumes fresh force at the entrance into the Globe and becomes sensible again. Hence these noises and hummings. But what would these confused sounds signify, if means were not found to distinguish them? Behold the image of the earth painted on the Globe; the Islands, the Continents, the Oceans which surround, join, and divide all. Dost thou not see Europe, that quarter of the earth that hath done so much mischief to the other three? Burning Africa, where the arts and the wants that attend them have never penetrated? Asia, whose luxury, passing to the European nations, has done so much good, according to some, and so much hurt, according to others! America, still dyed with the blood of its unhappy inhabitants, whom men of a religion, that breathes peace and good-will, came to convert and barbarously murder? Observe what point of the Globe, thou pleases. Place there the end of this rod which I give thee, and putting the other end to thy ear, thou shalt hear distinctly whatever is said in the corresponding part of the earth.

CHAP. VIII.
DISCOURSES.

Surprised at this prodigy, I put the end of the rod upon Babylon; I applied my ear, and heard what follows:

“Since you consult me about this writing, I will fairly give you my opinion. I think it discreet and too much so. What! not a word against the government, against the manners, against religion! who will read you? If you did but know how tired people are with History, Morality, Phylosophy, Verse, Prose, and all that! The whole world are turned writers; and you will more easily find an author than a reader. How make impression on the crowd? How draw attention, unless by strokes levelled, right or wrong, against place-men; by luscious touches of imagination proper to excite the gust of pleasures blunted by excess; by the trite arguments which, though repeated a thousand times, still please, because they attack what we dread! This in my opinion is the only course for a writer to take who has any pretensions to fame. Mind our Philosophers: when they reflect, for instance, on the nature of the soul, they fall into a doubt which with all their reason they cannot get out of. Do they come to write? They resolve the difficulty, and the soul is mortal. If they assert this, it is not from an inward persuasion, but from a desire to write, and to write such things, as will be read. Again, if you had made yourself a party: if you belonged to one of those clubs, where the Censor passes from hand to hand, and where each, in his turn, is the Idol! But no; you are among the literary cabals like a divine who should pretend to be neither Jansenist nor Molinist[1]. Who, think ye, will take care of your interests? Who will preach you up? Who will inlist your name among those we respect?”

I removed the end of the rod about a twentieth part of an inch lower and I heard, probably, a Farmer of the imposts, who was making his calculations upon the people.

“Is it not true (said he) that in the occasions of the state, every one should contribute in proportion to his means, after a deduction of his necessary expences? Is it not also true, that a very short man spends less in cloaths than a very tall one? Is it not true that this difference of expence is very considerable, since there is occasion for summer-habits, winter-habits, spring-habits, autumn-habits, country-habits, riding-habits, and I know not how many others? There should be likewise morning and evening habits; but the morning is not known at Babylon. I would therefore have all his Majesty’s subjects measured and taxed each inversely as his stature.... Another consideration of equal weight. A Tax on Batchelors has been talked of; but it was not considered. Money should be raised upon those who are rich enough to be married, and especially upon those who are rich enough to venture upon having children. And therefore married men should be taxed in a ratio compounded of the amount of their capitation and the number of their children. I have in my pocket-book I know not how many projects as good as these, and which I have very luckily devised. Each man has his talents: this is mine: and it is well known how much it is to be prized now-a-days.”

At a little distance a Grammarian was making his Observations. “Three languages (said he) are spoken at Babylon: that of the mob: that of the petit maitre; and that of the better sort. The first serves to express in a disagreeable manner, shocking things. With all their judgment, some authors have written in this language, and the Babylonians, with all their niceness, have read them with pleasure. The second is made up of a certain contexture of words without any meaning. You may talk this language a whole day together, and when you have done, it will be found you have said nothing at all. To enter into the character of the idiom, it is essential to talk incessantly without reason, and as far as possible from common sense. The third wants a certain precision; a certain force and certain graces; but it is susceptible of a singular elegance and clearness. It will not perhaps be expressive enough of the flights of the poet or the transports of the musician: but it expresses with admirable ease all the ideas of him who observes, compares, discusses, and seeks the truth. Without doubt, it is the properest language for reasoning; and most unhappily it is the least used for that purpose.”

Methought I heard a woman’s voice at a little distance, and put my rod there. “I confess (said she) I am foolishly fond of this romance. Nothing can be better penned. However, this same Julia, who holds out during three volumes, and does not surrender till the end of the fourth, makes the intrigue a little too tedious. It is also pity that the viscount advances so slowly. He uses such preambles, spends so much time in protestations, and presses his conquest with so much caution, that he has put me, who am none of the liveliest, a hundred times out of patience. Surely the author was little acquainted with the manners of the nation!”

CHAP. IX.
HAPPINESS.

The end of my rod by chance fell upon an assembly, where they were talking of Happiness. Each declared his opinion as follows:

“At length (says one) this superb Colonnade is laid open; they think of removing those pitiful little houses which darken that grand and beautiful front; they repent of having built under ground to adorn a place; Taste is reviving; the Arts are going to flourish: very shortly Babylon will proclaim the magnificence of the monarch and the happiness of the people.... It is a great question whether colonnades, fine squares, and large cities, will make a nation happy: they must be enriched. Industry must be excited, agriculture incouraged, manufactures increased, and trade made to flourish: without which, all the rest is nothing.... Nonsense! I have said it, and I say it again: if we will be happy, our manners must be more simple; the circle of our wants contracted; and, in a country-life, we must withdraw from the vices which attend the luxury of cities.... I do not know wherein consists the happiness of nations; but I think the happiness of individuals consists in the health of the body and peace of the mind.... Assuredly not. Health causes no lively impression, and tranquility is tiresome. To be happy, you must enjoy a great reputation; for, at every instant, your ear will be tickled with encomiums.... Yes! and at every instant your ear will be grated with censures, because there is no pleasing every body. It is my opinion, every man is happy in proportion to his authority and power: for one can gratify oneself in the same proportion.... Yes! but then that eagerness will be wanting which stamps a value upon things: if all was in our power, we should care for nothing. For my part, I am of opinion, that to be happy we must despise all things; that is the only way to avoid all kind of vexation and trouble whatsoever.... And I think, we should concern ourselves with every thing: by that means we shall partake of every occasion of joy.... Now I think we should be indifferent to every thing: as the means of enjoying an unchangeable happiness.... I take Wisdom to be the thing, for that alone will set us above all events.... And I say, it must be Folly: for Folly creates her own happiness, independently of any thing cross or disagreeable about her.... You are all of you in the wrong. Nothing general can be assigned that may be productive of the happiness of particular persons. So many men, so many minds: this desires one kind of happiness, and that another: one wishes for riches, another is content with necessaries; this would love and be loved; that considers the passions as the bane of the soul. Every one must study himself and follow his own inclination.... Not at all; and you are as much mistaken as the rest. In vain do I persuade myself that I should be happy, if I possessed such a thing; the moment I have it, I find it insufficient, and wish for another. We desire without end; and never enjoy. A certain man was continually travelling about, and always on foot: quite tired out, he said: If I had a horse I should be contented. He had a horse; but the rain, the cold, the sun were still troublesome to him. A horse (says he) is not sufficient; a chariot only can screen me from the inclemencies of the air. His fortune increased, and a chariot was bought. What followed? Exercise till then had kept our traveller in health: as soon as that ceased, he grew infirm and gouty, and presently after, it was not possible for him to travel either on foot or on horseback or in a chariot.”

CHAP. X.
THE HODGE-PODGE.

I did not keep the rod any longer in one place; but moved it here and there without distinction: and I heard only broken discourses, such as these:

“War, taxes, misery, are dreaded; insignificant fears all these: alas! mine are very different. I have here framed a system upon Earthquakes; and, by calculation, I find that near the center of the globe there is now forming an internal fire that will turn the world upside down. Within six months the earth will burst like a bomb, and all nature.... Yes! all nature vanishes in my eyes; thou alone dost exist for me: extinguish, my dear, extinguish the flame thou has lighted in my bosom. What a moment! Pleasure drowns all my senses: my soul, penetrated with delight, seems to be upon the wing: she beats, she trembles, she flies: O receive her, my dear, she is wholly thine. Ah! I hear my husband’s footsteps; let us run.... Courage, brave soldiers! strike home; revenge your country; let the blood flow, and give no quarter. May the Islanders perish and the Babylonians live!... I do aver, for my part that of all the nations there is not one so gay as the Babylonians. They always take things on the most smiling side. One day of prosperity makes them forget a whole year of adversity. Even at their own misery, they all sing; and an epigram pays them for their losses caused by the follies of the Great.... O how little are our great ones! and how foolish are our wise ones! I cannot help thinking man an imperfect creature. I plainly see nature’s efforts to make him reasonable; but I see too these efforts are fruitless. Materials are wanting. There are but two ages: the age of weakness in which we are born and pass two thirds of life; and the age of infancy in which we grow old and die. I have indeed heard talk of an age of reason; but I do not see it come. I conclude therefore, and I say.... Yes! madam! of transparent cotton. The discovery was very lately made in Terra Australis: so no more colds and defluxions. Transparent handkerchiefs, gloves, and stockings, will defend from the weather, and at the same time give us a sight of that admirable bosom, those charming arms, that divine leg.... Doubts every where, certainty no where. How tired am I to hear, to read, to reflect, and to know nothing precisely. Who will tell me only what is.... This, sir, is the country-man who leaving his plough, is come to talk with you about the affair of those poor orphans which is not ended. That is true, but what would you have? We are so overwhelmed! No matter, it shall be decided.... Ah! good sir, I am glad to see you; I owe you a compliment: the last wig I had of you makes me look ten years older. Surely the gentleman did not think, I had so magisterial a face! Do you know, my dear sir, that it is enough to make me look ridiculous, and you to forfeit your reputation.... Grant, O Lord, three weeks of a westerly wind that my ship may sail.... O Lord, three weeks of an easterly wind that my ship may arrive.... Give me, O God, give me children.... O God! send a malignant fever upon my ungracious son.... O Lord! grant me a husband.... O God! rid me of mine....”

Perhaps all this Hodge-Podge will not be relished by most of my readers. I should be sorry for it. To what end then do mortals hold such odd, such silly and such contradictory discourses?

CHAP. XI.
THE MIRROUR.

As I was amusing myself with these broken speeches, the Prefect of Giphantia presented me with a Mirrour. Thou canst only (says he) guess at things: but with thy rod and that glass, thou art going to hear and see both at once; nothing will escape thee; thou wilt be as present to whatever passes.

From space to space (continued the Prefect) there are in the atmosphere portions of air which the spirits have so ranged, that they receive the rays reflected from the different parts of the earth, and remit them to this Mirrour: so that by inclining the glass different ways, the several parts of the earth’s surface will be visible on it. They will all appear one after the other, if the Mirrour is placed successively in all possible aspects. It is in thy power to view the habitations of every mortal.

I hastily took up the wonderful glass. In less than a quarter of an hour I surveyed the whole earth.

I perceived many void spaces, even in the most populous countries! and yet I saw men crowding, jostling and destroying one another, as if they had wanted room.

I looked about a good-while for happiness, and found it no where; not even in the most flourishing kingdoms. I saw only some signs of it in the villages, which by their remoteness were screened from the contagion of the cities.

I beheld in one view the vast countries which nature meant to separate by still vaster oceans; and I saw men cover the sea with ships, and by that means join even these distant countries. This is plainly acting (said I) against nature’s intentions: such proceedings cannot be crowned with success. Accordingly, Europe does not appear more happy since her junction with America: and I do not know whether she has not more reason to lament it.

I saw prejudices vary with the climates, and, every where, do much good and much harm.

I beheld wise nations rejoice at the birth of their children, and deplore the death of their relations and friends: I beheld others more wise stand round the new-born babe, and weep bitterly at the thoughts of the storms he was to undergo in the course of his life; they reserved their rejoicings for funerals, and congratulated the deceased upon their being delivered from the miseries of this world.

I saw the earth covered with monuments of all kinds, which human weakness erects to the ambition of heroes. In the very temples, the brass and the marble, which contain the remains of the dead, present images of war, and breathe slaughter: the very statues of those friends of mankind, of those pacific sovereigns, whom the calamities of the times involve in short wars, are adorned with warlike instruments and nations in chains, as if Laurels died in blood were only worthy to crown Kings.

I saw the most respectable of human propensities carry men to the strangest excesses. Some were addressing their prayers to the Sun, others were imploring the aid of the Moon, and others prostrating themselves before Mountains; one was trembling at the aspect of thundering Jove, another was bending the knee to an Ape. The Ox, the Dog, the Cat, had their altars. Incense was burning even to Vegetables; Grain, Beans, and Onions had their worship and votaries.

I saw the race of mankind divide themselves into as many Parties as Religions; these Parties I saw divest themselves of all humanity and cloath themselves with Fanaticism, and these Fanatics worrying one another like wild beasts.

I saw men who adored the same God, who sacrificed upon the same altar, who preached to the people the doctrine of peace and love, I saw these very men fall out about unintelligible questions, and mutually hate, persecute, and destroy one another. O God! what will become of man, if thy goodness doth not exceed their weakness and folly?

In a word, I saw the several nations, diversified in a thousand respects, all agree in their not being one better than another. All men are bad, the Ultramontane by system, the Iberian by pride, the Batavian by interest, the German by roughness, the Islander by humour, the Babylonian by caprice, and All by a general corruption of heart.

CHAP. XII.
THE TRIAL.

After this general survey of the whole earth, I had a mind to view Babylon in particular. Having turned my glass to the north, and inclining it gently to the 20th meridian, I tried to find out that great city. Among the places that passed in succession under my eyes, there was one that fixed my attention. I saw a country-house, neither small nor great, neither too much adorned nor too naked. All about it was more embellished by nature than by art. It overlooked gardens, groves, and some ponds which bounded a hill on the east. A country feast was at this time celebrating, to which all the neighbouring inhabitants were come. Some, stretched on the green turf, were drinking large draughts, and entertaining one another with their former amours; and several were performing dances, which the old men did not think so fine as those of time past.

Seest thou (says the Prefect to me) in the balcony, that young lady who with a smiling air is viewing the sight? She was married some days ago, and it is on her account that this feast is made. Her name is _Sophia_: she has beauty as you see, fortune, wit, and what is worth more than all the rest, a stock of good sense. She had five Lovers at one time: none made a deep impression in her heart, none were displeasing to her; she could not tell to which to give the preference.

One day she said to them, I am young; and it is not my intention to enter yet into the bands of matrimony, which is always done too soon. If my hand is so valuable as by your eager addresses you seem to think, exert your endeavours to deserve it. But, I declare to you that I shall not make any choice these several years.

Of Sophia’s five Lovers, the first was much inclined to extravagance. Women (says he) are taken with the outside: let us spend freely and spare nothing.

The second had a fund of economy which bordered upon avarice. Sophia (says he) who has a solid judgment, must think him best that shows himself capable of amassing riches: let us turn to commerce.

The third was proud and haughty. Surely (says he) Sophia, who has noble thoughts, will be touched with the lustre of glory: let us take to arms.

The fourth was a studious man. Sophia (says he) who has so much sense, will incline to where the most is to be found. Let us continue to cultivate our mind; and strive to distinguish ourselves among the learned.

The fifth was an indolent man, who gave himself little concern about worldly affairs: he was at a loss what course to take.

Each pursued his plan, and pursued it with that ardor which love alone is capable of inspiring.

The prodigal expended part of his estate in cloaths, in equipages, in domesticks; he built a fine house, furnished it nobly, kept open table, gave balls and entertainments of all kinds: nothing was talked of but his generosity and magnificence.

The merchant set all the springs of commerce in motion, traded to all parts of the world and became one of the richest men of his country. The military man sought occasions; and soon signalized himself. The studious man redoubled his efforts, made discoveries, and became famous.

Mean while, the indolent lover made his reflections; and, believing if he remained unactive he should be excluded, he strove to conquer his indolence. The estate, he had from his ancestors, seemed to him very sufficient, and he did not care to meddle with commerce; the hurry of war was quite opposite to his temper, and he had no mind to take to arms; he had never read but for his amusement, the sciences did not seem to him worth the pains to come at them; he had no ambition to become learned. What then is to be done? Let us wait, (says he) time will show. So he remained at his country-house, pruning his trees, reading Horace, and now and then going to see the only object that disturbed his tranquillity. Ever resolving to take some course, the time slipt away, and he took none.

The fatal hour approaches (said he sometimes to Sophia) you are going to make your choice, and most assuredly it will not be in my favour. Yet a few days, and I am undone. This peaceful retreat, those delightful fields you will not grace, you will not enliven, with your presence. Those serene days that I reckoned to pass with you in the purest of pleasures were only flattering dreams with which love charmed my senses. O Sophia! all that stirs the passions and troubles the repose of men has no power over me; my desires are all centered in you; and I am going to lose you for ever!

You are too reasonable, replied Sophia, to take it ill that I should chuse where I think I shall be happy.

At last, the time was expired, and not without many reflections, Sophia resolved to make her choice.

She said to the prodigal: if I have been the aim of your expences, I am sorry for it: but what you have done for my sake, you would have done, had I been out of the question. You have lavished away one part of your estate to obtain a wife; you would spend the other to avoid the trouble of management. I advise you never to think of it.

She told the merchant, soldier and scholar, I am sensible, you have shown a great regard for me: but I think too you have shown no less, you for riches, you for glory, and you for learning. In trying to fix my inclination, each has followed his own; each would do as much for himself as for me. Should I chuse one of you, his views would still rest upon other objects; one would be busied with increasing his fortune, the other with his promotion in the army, and the third with his progress in the sciences. I cannot therefore satisfy any one of you: and my desire is to ingross the heart of the man who ingrosses mine.

The same day, she saw the solitary gentleman. You have long waited for it (said she to him) and I am at last going to declare my mind. You know what your rivals have done to obtain my consent: see what they were and what they are. For your part, such as you was, such you remain. I think, I see the reason. Indifferent to all other things, you have but one passion, and I am its object. I alone can render you happy. Well then! my happiness shall be in creating yours. I will share the delights of your solitude, and will endeavour to increase them.

CHAP. XIII.
THE TALENTS.

I returned to my first object, and, after a long search, I perceived on the mirrour a spot of land which seemed wrapped in a cloud. There issued from thence a confused noise like the murmurs of an ebbing tide. The sun quickly dispersed the vapours, and I saw Babylon.

I saw there spectacles wherein the calamities of past times are lamented, in order to forget the calamities of the present; I saw Academies where they should examine and discuss, but where they dispute and quarrel; Temples that are built against the restoration of religion; Orators, who foretell to the seduced people the most terrible disasters, and Hearers who measure the expressions and criticize the style; a Palace wherein are placed Magistrates for the security of your property, and where you are conducted by Guides who fleece you.

I cast my eyes on the publick walks and gardens, ever open to idleness, coquetry and recreation. I beheld sitting alone on the grass a person who, with a smile, was penning down his ideas. I fixed the paper, and read what follows:

“One day Jupiter proclaimed through the whole earth, that he had resolved to distribute different talents to the different nations; that on such a day the distribution would be made at Olympus; and that the geniuses of the several nations should repair thither.

“The Genius of Babylon stayed not till the day appointed, but came the first of all to Jupiter’s palace. He made his appearance with that air of confidence which is natural to him; he uttered I know not how many very handsome and well-turned compliments, and made presents to all the celestial court with a grace peculiar to him.

“He gave the Father of the gods a quintal of wild-fire of a late invention, that his thunder may be more effectual and people begin to have faith: to Apollo a Babylonian grammar, that he may reform the oddities of the language: to Minerva a collection of Romances, that she may correct their licentiousness and teach the Romancers to write decently: to Venus two small _votive_ pictures, to thank her for that the last year there were at Babylon but two hundred thousand inhabitants who bore the long and painful marks of her favours.

“He made his court to the Gods, wheedled the Goddesses, said and did so many handsome and pleasant things, that nothing was talked of at Jupiter’s court but the agreeableness of the Genius of Babylon.

“Mean while, the day appointed was come: and Jupiter, having advised with his council, made the distribution of the different talents to the Geniuses of the several nations. To this he assigned the gift of Philosophy: to that, the gift of Legislation; and to another the gift of Eloquence. He said to one, Be Thou the most ingenious; to another, Be Thou the most learned, and Thou, the most frugal; and Thou, the most warlike; and Thou, the most politick: and Be Thou (said he, speaking to the Genius of Babylon) whatever thou chusest to be.

“Delighted with his success, and returning home, the Genius of Babylon is at all. He framed I know not how many schemes, and executed none. He made most excellent laws, and afterwards embroiled them with numberless explanations and comments.

“He would likewise turn Theologist, and engaged in disputes which proved fatal to him.

“He traded, gained much, enlarged his expences, and became richer and less easy.

“Orator, Poet, Merchant, Philosopher, he was every thing; and in many things he attained to perfection, but never could keep his ground.”

CHAP. XIV.
THE TASTE OF THE AGE.

Two men of letters were walking at a little distance. “Will you not own (said one of them) that, two centuries ago, our learning was in its infancy; and hardly showed to what degree it might arrive. In the last century, it took root and rose so high that nothing was seen above it. The greatest masters among the Greeks and Latins were taken for patterns: they were equalled, if not surpassed.

“Success inspires confidence; and too much confidence breeds neglect. To have the eye always on the Antients grew distasteful. They have had their merit (said the Babylonians) and we have ours: who can say we do not equal them? They therefore set up for themselves: and the taste, not the more general and of all the nations, but the taste peculiar to them characterized their works. See almost all our poems, our histories, our speeches, our books, all is after the Babylonian mode; much of art, little of nature; a vast superficies, no depth; all is florid, light, lively, sparkling; all is pretty, nothing is fine. Methinks I foresee the judgment of posterity: they will consider the works of the seventeenth century as the greatest efforts of the nation towards the excellent; and the works of the eighteenth, as pictures wherein the Babylonians have taken pleasure to paint themselves.

“If our writers are capable to go back and resume their great patterns, it is known what they can do; they are sure to please all the world, and for ever: but, if they continue to stand on their own bottom, their works will be only trinkets of fancy, on which the present taste stamps a value, and which another taste will soon bury in oblivion.”

CHAP. XV.
THE FEMALE REASONER.

I saw two women apart, one of which was talking: she looked round her every moment with that air of uneasiness which expresses a confidence the most mysterious. I lent my ear; and with great difficulty I heard what follows: