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Chapter VI: Preparing to Be a Sailor (2)

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PERCY HOLDSWORTH, ROCKVILLE CENTER, L.I.--An approximately accurate
table of interscholastic records was published in the ROUND TABLE
of July 9, 1895. Since then several of these records have been
broken, and another table will not be prepared until later in the
spring.

J. M. ALLEN, MARINETTE, WIS.--Hints on training for the 100 and 220
yard dashes were published in HARPER'S ROUND TABLE of February 25,
1896; for the half-mile run, in HARPER'S ROUND TABLE of March 3,
1896; for the high jump, in HARPER'S ROUND TABLE of July 30, 1895.

THE GRADUATE.

Any questions in regard to photograph matters will be willingly
answered by the Editor of this column, and we should be glad to
hear from any of our club who can make helpful suggestions.

Among the pictures sent to our recent photographic competition were some not eligible for entry in any of the classes for which prizes were given, but which were such fine specimens of amateur work that they deserve more than a mere mention of subject and artist. There were several excellent animal studies, a class of pictures which requires special skill in order to be successful. Mr. Louis H. Flanders, of Chicago, Ill., with other examples of good work, sent two--one was the head of a Jersey cow, evidently without a flaw in the negative; the other, to which no name was given, might appropriately be called "Waiting for the Master." A large shepherd dog is sitting on his haunches, holding in his mouth the bridle of a horse, which stands, like the one in the nursery rhyme, "All saddled, all bridled, all fit for a ride." The surroundings--a drive leading to a barn in the background--are in keeping with the picture. This is one of the most natural animal studies which it has ever been the good fortune of the editor to examine.

Another good animal study, which is called "Friends," was made by Mr. Orville Bassett, of New Bedford, Mass. The friends were a shepherd dog and a handsome cat lying side by side on the grass. Mr. Huber Hoge, of Brooklyn, N.Y., sent an animal study entitled "Fallen Majesty"--a picture of an enormous lion in a cage; an unusual subject, and well taken. Miss Bertha Lothrop, of Riverton, N.J., sent a picture of a pug dog and a good natured looking cat playing together--"Playmates." Franklin M. Conant, Providence, R.I., and W. Yost, of Cumberland, Md., both sent good studies of cats, and Mrs. Claud Gatch, Salem, Or., sent a picture of a dog family, entitled "A Good Square Meal." A characteristic Southern picture was sent by Lieut. W. C. Davis, Fortress Monroe, Va. While this picture was not as sharp in detail as might be desirable, the subject was very amusing. A ragged colored boy was holding by a rope halter the framework of a horse--it could be called nothing more--and "De Price is Fifteen Dollahs, Sah," was the appropriate title to the picture.

Some fine photographs of unusual subjects were received, among which was one sent by Mr. C. H. Voorhees, of New York city, of a flash of lightning. It is one of the best pictures of lightning that could be made, the effect in the picture being exactly what one sees on a summer night when a flash of what is called "chain lightning" crinkles across the sky, the landscape being faintly outlined instead of illuminated as in the broad flashes. Photographs of lightning have revealed one mistake of the artist, and that is that lightning never assumes the jagged streaks with sharp angles which one sees in drawings of lightning. The electric fluid runs in curved lines, and looks something like outlines of rivers in map-drawings.

Two beautiful cloud effects were submitted. "Day is dying in the West," is the title of one taken by Mr. Newell B. Edson, of Portland, Me. The clouds are very artistically shaded, and show no halation, as is apt to be the case in most cloud pictures. This picture would make a fine bromide enlargement. The other cloud effect was sent by Warfield T. Longcope, Baltimore, Md., and is entitled "Moonlight." It is a harbor scene, and the outlines of the wharves and shipping show dimly, while the moonlight, breaking through the clouds, shines across the water. Mrs. George Conn, of Black Diamond, Wash., sent a picture of a snow scene, the snow looking like the real article and not like chalk, as is often the case with photographs of snow.

* * * * *

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It is a Collection which no one who loves music should fail to own; it should find a place in every home. Never before, it may truthfully be said, has a song book been published at once so cheap, so good, and so complete.--_Colorado Springs Gazette._

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This Song Collection is one of the most notable enterprises of the kind attempted by any publisher. The brief sketches and histories of the leading productions in the work add greatly to the value of the series.--_Troy Times._

Collection?

Sold Everywhere. Price, 50 cents; Cloth, $1.00. Full contents, with Specimen Pages mailed, without cost, on application to

Harper & Brothers, New York.

This Department is conducted in the interest of Bicyclers, and the
Editor will be pleased to answer any question on the subject. Our
maps and tours contain much valuable data kindly supplied from the
official maps and road-books of the League of American Wheelmen.
Recognizing the value of the work being done by the L. A. W., the
Editor will be pleased to furnish subscribers with membership
blanks and information so far as possible.

Some time ago we published in this Department a series of maps giving the trip from New York to Albany along the east bank of the Hudson River. Before taking up the question of Chicago maps it will be wise to extend the route from Albany somewhat further into New York State. To begin this, we give this week a map of the city of Albany itself. The wheelman approaching Albany from New York will cross the Hudson at South or Greenbush Bridge. After crossing into the city, turn right into Broadway, and proceed along Broadway until State Street is reached at the Post-office. Turning left into State Street, go on to North Pearl Street, stopping at the Kenmore Hotel.

The city of Albany is not by any means a bicyclist's paradise. The roads that are asphalted in the city are few in number, though there are here and there single blocks paved in this way, which, of course, do not prove of any value to the wheelman. From the Kenmore Hotel, if you desire to go northward, the best method is to go through Pearl Street to Broadway, run out Broadway to the Loudonville Plank Road, turn left into this, and proceed on towards Loudonville. This is the road to Buffalo. To leave Albany on the south, the rider should make for Madison Avenue as directly as possible, proceeding by State Street and Eagle Street. To turn immediately south, Madison Avenue is left at Delaware Avenue. To run in a more westerly direction, Madison Avenue is left at Lake Avenue, which runs into New Scotland Plank Road. These are merely exits from Albany. As for any riding in the parks or streets in Albany for pleasure, it is quite impossible. The only possible runs are direct from Albany out to some neighboring town and back, and of these the run to Newtonville, Latham Corners, Centre, and Watervliet is the best. Evidently the Albany authorities have not yet become aware of the importance of bicycling, for when they do the streets of the city will be paved in asphalt with more care as to continuous routes than at present. There are more asphalted streets in the city than are marked on the accompanying map, but few of them extend more than one block, and none of them carry you to any definite point. They are of no use to the wheelman, therefore, unless he is riding to some particular house within the city, when it is, of course, some help to be able to take advantage of even one block of this pavement.

There is little to delay the wheelman in Albany if he is on a trip from New York or Boston to Buffalo and Niagara. The city, apart from its Capitol, is not one that you would naturally choose for sight-seeing, and with a good night's rest the wheelman is advised to go on his way rejoicing that he has not got to pedal over more badly paved streets. The Capitol, however, is well worth a visit; and as it is close at hand from the Kenmore Hotel, one is advised to go there and look at the artistic and architectural work put upon it.

NOTE.--Map of New York city asphalted streets in No. 809. Map of
route from New York to Tarrytown in No. 810. New York to Stamford,
Connecticut in No. 811. New York to Staten Island in No. 812. New
Jersey from Hoboken to Pine Brook in No. 813. Brooklyn in No. 814.
Brooklyn to Babylon in No. 815. Brooklyn to Northport in No. 816.
Tarrytown to Poughkeepsie in No. 817. Poughkeepsie to Hudson in No.
818. Hudson to Albany in No. 819. Tottenville to Trenton in No.
820. Trenton to Philadelphia in No. 821. Philadelphia in No. 822.
Philadelphia-Wissahickon Route in No. 823. Philadelphia to West
Chester in No. 824. Philadelphia to Atlantic City--First Stage in
No. 825; Second Stage in No. 826. Philadelphia to Vineland--First
Stage in No. 627; Second Stage in No. 828. New York to
Boston--Second Stage in No. 829; Third Stage in No. 830; Fourth
Stage in No. 831; Fifth Stage in No. 832; Sixth Stage in No. 833.
Boston to Concord in No. 834. Boston in No. 835. Boston to
Gloucester in No. 836. Boston to Newburyport in No. 837. Boston to
New Bedford in No. 838. Boston to South Framingham in No. 839.
Boston to Nahant in No. 840. Boston to Lowell in No. 841. Boston to
Nantasket Beach in No. 842. Boston Circuit Ride in No. 843.
Philadelphia to Washington--First Stage in No. 844; Second Stage in
No. 845; Third Stage in No. 846; Fourth Stage in No. 847; Fifth
Stage in No. 848. City of Washington in No. 849.

This Department is conducted in the interest of Girls and Young
Women, and the Editor will be pleased to answer any question on the
subject so far as possible. Correspondents should address Editor.

Did you ever think of the flowers, how different they are one from another? And yet each is a flower, each belongs to its own family, each has its own place in nature, its own little mission to the world, its time to bloom, its hour to be sweet and to live in the sunshine.

I wonder which is your favorite flower? I used to think the mignonette was mine; but then when daisies whiten the fields I like them best, and when lilies shine in the garden I prefer them, and, on the whole, there are none of the dear things I would like to do without. How nice it is that there are so many kinds, and how tiresome it would be if they were all exactly alike!

The flowers have what each of us should have, individuality. We do not wish the girls in a school to be alike in everything. One day last October I sat on the platform of a woman's college during the opening exercises, and in the bright morning watched the long lines of girls march into the chapel to the sound of the piano. Two by two they came, dark girls and fair girls, plump girls and thin girls, tall girls and short girls, as sweet a band as I ever saw, all alert and alive and eager, and looking as if they never had an ache or a pain, as girls ought to look who have learned that health and vigor help to make successful students. They were not like coins stamped in a mint and precisely alike, though their college was giving each of them its own stamp of culture and refinement. One may carry this stamp, as the flower its perfume, and not lose the particular quality of mind and heart which is her own special distinction. Keeping one's own individuality, one may yet gain what is best in her school life and hold it.

This is a thoughtful talk for my older girls, and I am going now to give them three rather long words, which they may use as pegs on which to hang reflections of their own, or points round which ideas may cluster. One is development. If you cut an apple through the circumference, as you cut an orange, you will see in clear outline around the starlike centre made by the seeds the shape of the blossom. The fruit has grown from the flower, and the flower's shape is in the heart of the fruit. The fruit developed little by little through summer days and winter days, but the flower gave it the start. Take the little thought and use it, and if you have a gift or grace--a taste for housekeeping, cooking, sewing, painting, or reading--develop it by use and study and taking pains.

My next long word is responsibility. It means, as we all know, the answering when we are called, answering to our names. The responsible person can be trusted. Not long ago, in New York city, a fire broke out in the upper stories of a great apartment-house. Two young women, one, a young lady visiting the family in a certain home on the sixth floor of the house, the other a maid in the same home, were confronted suddenly with black volumes of smoke, red tongues of flame, and no way of escape but by the iron ladder that hung along the side of the house. There were two little children there and some valuable papers, and though the young women could not save everything, they took the children and the papers down the fire-escape with calmness and courage. They were _responsible_.

My last word is consecration. It is a very sacred word, and I leave you to weave your own sweet fancies around it. We must be consecrated to the best possible ideal, we must fill every day with noble work.

ANNE B.--Write a formal note of thanks in the third person. It is
always proper to return thanks for courtesies of every description.

PERPLEXED MAIDEN.--Your long and thick hair is a very great beauty,
and you must not complain of it. Of course you are old enough to
wear it put up, and I wish you would take my advice, and wind it in
a great coil on the top of your head. I may give the same answer to
Helen L. R., who is equally perplexed, though as Helen is only
fifteen she may continue to wear her long braids another year if
she chooses. Both girls should wash their hair once a month, and
brush it every night with great care and a clean brush.

MARY W. L.--In addition to the spelling match, ask your friends to
lend you their earliest photographs. At a proper time in the
evening, just before the refreshments if you choose, unveil your
picture gallery, and let the girls guess the originals of the
babies on view.

SALLY R.--Sets of dishes all alike are not necessary. I think a
variety of pretty dishes quite as interesting and equally as
appropriate.

LEAH G.--Why not have an old-fashioned candy-pull?

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For an Afternoon.

Mrs. Mary B. Miller writes to you: "We originated the following for entertaining a few young ladies invited to spend an afternoon. A phrase describes some character noted in history, literature, or art. The initial letters of words in each phrase are also initial letters of the character's name. Given the phrase, guess the name. Here are a few that were used; others may be thought of by you: Able Leader--Abraham Lincoln; Can Draw Girls--C. D. Gibson; Uncle Sam's Guardian--U. S. Grant; Wrote Many Tales--W. M. Thackeray; Somebody Famous By Messages--S. F. B. Morse; Crossed Courageously--Christopher Columbus; Great Philanthropist--George Peabody; The Big Republican--Thomas B. Reed; Wise Cultured Bard--W. C. Bryant; Great Warrior--George Washington; Favors Water--Frances Willard; Betrayed Americans--Benedict Arnold; Prone To "Blow"--P. T. Barnum; and Was Scotch--Walter Scott."

* * * * *

The Antiquary Puzzle.

Some members enjoy knotty kinks. There are not a few in the following story. See how many you can unravel. No prizes are offered, and you are not to send answers to us. We will publish the answers in a week or two. The story was written by a member of our Order. Here it is:

In the early fall of the year (1) in which Captain Cook died I set sail in the _White Lady of Berlin_ (2) from the Modern Athens (3) for a three years' trip abroad. The brother of the historian (4) whose name signifies the long-armed ape had handed me an object the night before, attached to which was a card reading as follows:

My name is short--it's in my head.
Behead me, and consider only
My threefold nature, and you'll find
That I'm in yours.
Yours truly.

I followed the directions, and found a roll of paper containing these lines:

I once in hour of wicked wrath
Slew one fourth of this great earth's race.
I fled o'er plain and mountain path,
But ne'er could that crime efface.

In any clime may I be seen,
Of rustic form or city made.
I oft conceal a weapon keen;
Am found in many a street parade.

To arctic regions cold and drear
I once did journey years ago.
My faith was strong, nor was there fear
Of floating berg or deadly floe (5).

I read the verses to a group of passengers, and one gentleman, a friend of the musician (6) who never could compose without his diamond ring, laughed so immoderately that he tripped over a spare mineral (7) that can box, and broke his leg. The physician (8) who first made use of chloroform was summoned, and in short order had the tonic plant (9) used in chills.

I reached Cairo in the month (10) of the gate, and spent five days in studying the Great Sphinx and its near-by temple. While exploring the latter I found a secret passage to the Sphinx itself, and there, in a square excavation, on a massive altar of the stone (11) that is dainty lay a huge black stone carved to represent the insect (12) worshipped by the ancient Egyptians. On it was this inscription, which, deciphered, reads thus:

"I am older than the Earth. I was born in Space. Once I was Fire. Now I am Stone. Yet no man ever quarried me. I have journeyed to the Sun, yet the Earth is now my tomb" (13).

After much difficulty I secured the stone for the museum (14) which contains the Elgin marbles, together with treasures from the Petrified City (15) and the City of Zenobia (16). I then sailed for England, reaching Cockagne (17) in March. One day, as I was passing the Old Lady (18) of Threadneedle Street, I saw a strange bronze-green sign-board which read, "ANTIQUES." Being interested in antiques I crossed the street and entered the shop.

An enormous claymore (19) hung by the door, and at a black-oak desk which had once belonged to Old Noll (20) sat a little weazened man of kindly look. As I entered he laid down a copy of the Vinegar Bible (31) which he had been reading, and rose to greet me.

"As I live!" he exclaimed. "You remind me of the Man (22) of Blood. Where do you hail from?"

"O, I have been visiting old worlds and new," I replied.

"Here are two busts," he went on. "They are of the Laughing Philosopher (23) and the Weeping Philosopher (24), and the contents of these cases are worth having. If you can answer my descriptions, they are yours. Others have tried--and have failed."

He handed me the following rhymes:

My _first_ was used in Shakespeare's time
To exorcise the evil one.
My _second's_ life is spent in toil;
Reward it never yet has won.
The wondrous beauty of my _whole_
May well be praised in poets' verse.
To purchase it would much reduce
The contents of the longest purse (25).

My _first_ is a large reflector,
Old, but as good as new.
My _second's_ the bone and sinew
Of lands that we travel through.
My _whole_ is little, and lucky, and white;
Much like my first, but not so bright (26).

I gave up.

"Here is an easy one," he said. "It describes an every-day object, and is no quiz (27), I assure you, but an honest riddle."

I was born in the sun, but I lived in the earth.
I died where I lived, and was buried from sight.
I rose from the tomb that had long been my home
To curse or to comfort, destroy or delight (28).

To my surprise my answer was correct.

An image of the Egyptian Mercury (29) brought to mind my recent solution of the Riddle of the Great Sphinx. The old Antiquary was surely the man to whom I should open my heart.

"Are you interested in Egypt?" I began. "I have just arrived from Cairo, and, to be plain, have made a stupendous discovery--I have solved the Riddle of the Great Sphinx!" And I gave him an account of my discovery in detail.

The Antiquary seemed to drink in my last words, and in another moment had dragged me to the back of the shop.

"Man!" he gasped, "do you know what you have done? By this solution you have the chance of solving another and greater mystery!"

Leading me to a dark corner, the Antiquary lighted a taper and showed me a narrow door of oak strengthened with iron.

"What is this?" I asked. The Antiquary slipped a roll of parchment into my hand. I found on it this verse, engrossed in old English characters:

JVGUVAGUVFANEEBJCBEGNYQVZ
VAWRJRYYRQPNFXRGOEBHTUGSEBZSNE
UNFYNVASBEGUVEGRREPRAGHEVRF
XVATNEGUHEFFJBEQRFPNYVONE (30)

Though I carried the cryptogram back to America with me, it has to this day remained unsolved--and the Antiquary is dead!

* * * * *

A Ute Indian Legend.

Long years ago the forefathers of the Utes lived near a vast warm
lake northeast of the Big River (Colorado). Snakes as long as a
hundred lodge poles were plenteous in this lake. The country was
full of big trees, big deer, and big oxen with white horns. One day
all the big oxen began to roar together, and they raised such a
steam from their nostrils that the earth tottered and trembled and
the sun was hidden. Then suddenly the warm lake fell and continued
falling for the space of three moons, and then became so low that
the Indians saw it not again.

The big lake of warm water had been drained away. It had gone out
through the mountains by the present cañon of Green River, and of
the Big River. The old bed in the Toom-pin-to-weep is where the
warm lake waters were drained. Next, all the big deer and the big
oxen with white horns wandered eastward and perished from cold or
by the arrows of the Ute hunters. Soon after a big flood formed
Grand River Cañon. After this came a race of small people who
brought seed corn of a small kind, called Chiquito maize. They also
brought skin canoes. They had silver and gold in abundance, and
iron tools which they had gathered in the mountains to the
northeast.

These little people were almost white. They built stone houses in
the cliffs, and cultivated corn, beans, and pumpkins. They taught
the Utes how to make spears and bows. Soon big red Indians came
over from the northeast and drove off the little people, who went
south. The big red men also went away. These were the Apaches,
Navajos, Kiowas. Down among these tribes were found the big oxen
with white horns, and the grande lagarios (alligators). By-and-by
the country became dry and cold, and only the Utes were left on the
Big River and its branches. Then melted rocks were poured out and
the country was left desolate.

SYBEL NEWELL STONE.
SELAK, COLO.

* * * * *

Questions and Answers.

Claude G. Smith, William F. Tillson, Hubbard Marsh, Lawrence Fraley, Albert R. Bullman, Frances De Berard, Rolfe McCollom, G. Du Bois, and a score or more others are reminded that the Table has no exchange column, and cannot publish notices of trades, as of stamps, pictures, addresses, printing-presses, and the like. We should be happy to oblige members in this respect, but space does not permit. We do not give the addresses because improper uses are often made of them by unscrupulous persons. The only exceptions we make--and these we do not make often--are in publishing the names of members in far-away countries, since advertisers rarely use such, and cases where requests are purely educational, as in getting seeds to plant and study, gathering mosses for a natural history collection, etc. We repeat that we much regret that we cannot oblige you in these respects. Charles W. Anderson and Charles Cohen apply for Patents and give no addresses.

* * * * *

James D. Waite: The National Guard of the State of New York is not a part of the regular army of the United States. It is under the State control, but may be mustered into the United States service through the action of the President, who calls upon the States, if need be, to furnish troops. If your father does not wish you to join the N. G. S. N. Y., do not do so. Hubbard Marsh, Groton, N. Y., wants to belong to some literary or similar society having corresponding members. Write him. Claude G. Smith: There are, just now, no prize offers open. New ones, when ready, will be announced on this page. The only contest awards in which have not yet been announced is the Illustration. In that about 300 young artists are trying to make a picture for a story, a proof of which has been mailed to them. This contest closes March 21st, but applications for proofs with permission to enter the contest have already closed. D. Blondheim: We fear it is a bit late for descriptions of Christmas entertainments. Better tell us about oysters and the oyster trade. E. M. Wallace, Monmouth, Ill., and Jay F. Hammond, Harford, N. Y., want to receive samples of amateur papers.

* * * * *

Daniel W. May: We should think old skates could well be made use of in constructing an ice-boat. Coils in use in the relay and sounder of telegraph instruments are two in number. The cores are soft iron bars, and around them there is wound, for the relay, very fine wire that is covered with silk thread, to perfectly insulate it. The finer the wire, the more its resistance. The large wire that you see on the poles connects directly with this fine relay wire. When the electric circuit is complete, the soft iron bars are magnets; when it is broken, they are not. Thus is produced a backward and a forward movement of the armature which opens and closes a second or local circuit, in which is placed the sounder, having two similar coils, but wound with comparatively coarse wire. The Century Dictionary describes an induction coil as being essentially in two parts, one wound over the other. The first, of coarse wire, is wound about the soft iron bar, and connected with a key for breaking and closing the circuit. Above it, on the same coil, is wound very fine wire, carefully insulated from the first, which becomes magnetic by induction every time the electric circuit is closed. We advise, for a first attempt, a single coil of fine wire. All wire used in making coils should be insulated.

This Department is conducted in the interest of stamp and coin
collectors, and the Editor will be pleased to answer any question
on these subjects as far as possible. Correspondents should address
Editor Stamp Department.

In the ROUND TABLE for January 21, 1895, I mentioned the fact that Ecuador had cancelled the contract for "Seebeck" stamps, as unworthy the dignity of a great nation, etc. It seems that the only change that has been made is one of name only. Another decree announces the issue of a commemorative set, for use ten days only, "part of the sum accruing from the sale to be devoted to the assistance of the families of soldiers fallen in defence of their country." No collectors of any importance will touch these stamps, nor will they be catalogued, or space reserved in any of the albums.

The Post-Office Department will not sell the Periodical stamps either used or unused, and yet they seem to be easy to get. One dealer in New York offers a complete set of all the stamps from 1c. to $100, unused, for $250, and offers to give the source from which he obtained the stamps. Probably these sets are the complimentary copies sent by the U.S. government to the P.O. Dept. of the various countries in the Postal Union throughout the world. There are 175 countries in the Postal Union, and each of these is entitled to five complete sets of all stamps issued by each country.

The auction season is in full blast, not only in New York, but also in Boston, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Chicago, etc. Hardly a day without an auction somewhere. And as auctions multiply, the quality of the stamps offered improves. Cheap and common stamps are worth as little to-day as they were ten or twenty years ago, and it does not pay to sell these in the auction-rooms. But scarce or rare stamps continue to increase in value, as demonstrated at each sale. At one sale last week every lot sold consisted of one stamp only. At another sale two evenings were given up to the sale of U. S. stamps only. They brought nearly $7000, and probably had not cost their owner, an old collector, one-third of the amount.

R. A. HUNT.--With a few exceptions (Russia, etc.), the way dealers
take off stamps is simply to soak them in cold water a short time.

A. T. D.--An "error" is a stamp made by mistake in the color of
another stamp of the same issue. Any daily newspaper is printed on
"wove" paper. Most fine writing paper is "laid."

KERSKY G. WILLIAMS.--The 3c. 1851 U.S., with extra lines on the
right or left hand side of the stamps, are those from the tenth and
eleventh vertical rows of the entire sheet. The stamps were printed
in sheets of 200. These sheets were cut apart into half-sheets of
100. As a guide to the cutter, the division between the halves was
made prominent by two extra lines. The 1870-3 varieties of the U.S.
stamps were illustrated in the ROUND TABLE, September 10, 1895.

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BY GASTON V. DRAKE.

VI.--FROM BOB TO JACK.

LONDON, _July_ --, 18--.

DEAR JACK,--Land at last again, and a beauty at that. It's queer, they call Ireland the Emerald Isle, but I don't see how it could be much greener than England is. I never saw anything quite so green in all my life, not even that small Harris kid up at the Mountain House. You remember how we took him in on the echo don't you. How it would answer any question he'd put to it at three minutes past four o'clock on a foggy fourth of July morning? And how we got up at half past three to ask it who struck Billie Patterson or some question like that. Well England is greener than that--Pop says it's what he calls scrub green, each blade of grass looks as if it had had its face washed five times a day, it sorter of shines so.

We landed at Southampton Wednesday night after a beautiful sail along the south coast, up past the Isle of Wight. I was very much surprised at the size of England. Everybody's said it was only an Island anyhow but as far as I could see it looks just as big from the outside as the United States did when we were leaving it. Chesterfield says people are all wrong who call it an Island. He says it's a vest-pocket continent, and I guess he knows. It looks to me too big for an Island.

We had a great time when we landed. All our trunks had to be opened by the Custom House inspectors to see if we had any cologne or cigars in 'em. I don't see why they call them Custom House officers though. Their costumes weren't anything wonderful. It took Pop a half an hour to get his trunks all through because he said the inspector didn't know the language. Pop says he asked him what nation he belonged to and the man said he was Hinglish and Pop told him he'd never heard of any such people, where did they live. In Hingland, the man said. Where's that asked Pop, and the man nearly fainted and then Pop gave him a half a crown and the man said he guessed he needn't open any more trunks, because a man as ignorant as he was wouldn't have sense enough to try to smuggle anything in anywhere.

After the trunks were all passed Pop asked a man where the baggage car was and that man couldn't speak English either. He asked Pop what, and Pop says again where's the baggage car, and just then an American that had been over before says to the man he means the luggage van, and the man said oh wy didn't ee si so. Pop says he thinks that's Welsh, which is a language he never liked anyhow. The only welsh thing he ever liked was a rabbit, he said. Wots your name asked the Baggage man. Drake, says Pop. Well your van is the seventh car up. It's marked with a D. Do you know a D when you see it? Pop said he guessed so. He'd seen one once and he had an idea that it looked like a P without a pedestal or a B cut in two. That's it, said the man. Well you put your luggage in the van marked with a P without a pedestal and when you get to London you can go and claim it. But suppose somebody else claims it said Pop. That's his affair and yours not mine says the man and he walked off. Then Pop found out that they don't give checks over here, and he said he guessed the reason was that they preferred cash.

After we got our trunks on board Pop took me up to see the engine and you never saw such an engine anywhere outside of a toy-store. It looked awful small and it only had a little platform at the back for the engineer to stand in. Pop says the railroads can't afford to furnish cabs for its engineers. The smoke-stack looked just like a piece of pipe sticking up in front of the boiler and there wasn't a cow-catcher in sight, but it had a bully whistle. It was one of those raspy whistles that makes old people nervous and boys laugh. Pop says a whistle like that makes a cow-catcher unnecessary because a cow is a quiet sort of an animal and likes to chew its gum in peace, hating noise; and anyhow the English people aren't bothering much about catching cows when there's so many Americans travelling about with money in their pockets to be caught; and I guess he's right because most everybody here goes around holding his hand out. Chesterfield told me it would be that way so I wasn't surprised. He said when you land every hand on the dock will be stretched out to you but it isn't to welcome you, don't think that. It's to relieve you of your surplus. I asked him what a surplus was, and he said it was a collection of rare coins that you didn't need in your business and when I said I wasn't any wiser than before he said a surplus was the money you had in your pocket to spend on things you didn't really need. And it was that way, and I tell you the way Pop spent six-pences and shillings and half-crowns was a caution. A half crown is two shillings and a sixpence, but you can bet I didn't spend mine. All I had left after lending Chesterfield that money I've got yet and I'm going to keep it until I get to Paris where they have toy shops that are worth seeing whether you buy anything or not which you generally do. Why just before we landed Chesterfield was telling me of an oil-silk lion that he bought in Paris once that saved his life two years later in the Desert of Sahara.

It was one of those lions you blow up. You can carry it in your pocket when you haven't any wind in it. Then you take it out, unfold it, blow it up, fasten up the blow-hole and it looks real terrible, stands up alone and does everything but gnash his teeth and growl. Chesterfield was sleeping in the desert one night, when a real lion came his way and was about to devour him, when, with a sudden perspiration, he remembers the toy lion in his pocket, takes it out, blows it up, sets it down before the real lion, who, reckonizing his match retreats, but immediately returns. Of course the oil-silk lion remains cool. He hasn't got any nerves to get excited on. The real lion roars. The oil-silk lion says nothing. The real lion advances. The oil-silk lion doesn't say a word. The real lion gets mad. The oil-silk lion stays cool. The real lion hits him with one paw. The oil-silk lion just bounces and does nothing. The real lion hits him with his other paw and the oil-silk lion just bounces again and does nothing. But then the real lion hits him with both paws a tremenjus whack and the oil-silk lion busts like a blown-up grocer's bag with a report like a caution, which so scares the real lion that he's running yet. Eh? How would you like a toy like that?

It's getting so late now that Pop says I must go to bed, but to-morrow I'll write again and tell you how we got up to London and what I've seen so far.

Yours ever, BOB.

End of Project Gutenberg's Harper's Round Table, March 10, 1896, by Various

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Harper's Round Table, March 10, 1896Chapter VI: Preparing to Be a Sailor (2)

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