Chapter XVII (3)

"I don't yike you, Aunt Jennie," said Wilbur, after his aunt had interfered with some cherished idea he had in mind. "An' if you don't let me alone I'll save up my pottet-money an' buy a tapir."

"A what?" asked his aunt.

"A tapir," said Wilbur. "An' tapirs _they eats ants_!"

JUST THE OTHER WAY.

Jimmieboy has a very unbreakable habit of getting up at night and running in to his father's room and jumping into bed with him. He was once chided for this.

"I'm glad to have you come in the morning, but don't come too early," was the end of the lecture. The next night, however, Jimmieboy came bouncing in at one o'clock.

"Didn't I tell you not to do this, Jimmieboy?" he was asked.

"No," replied Jimmieboy. "You told me not to come early. This isn't early--it's awful late. After one o'clock."

A MISTAKE.

"It's a great mistake," said Bobbie Tompkins, "to say that we Americans are born free."

"Why, Bobbie?"

"Look at that baby of ours. Was he born free? I guess not. He ain't allowed to do nothin' he wants ter."

"That was a great game of ball the Nomeals and Hungerfoods played the other day."

"Was it? What was the score?"

"Nothing to eight."

End of Project Gutenberg's Harper's Round Table, October 15, 1895, by Various