Chapter III: Preface (3)

The greatest tonic, stimulant, and equalizer, writes Lyman B. Sperry, is genuine pleasure. Contentment, satisfaction, joy, are remarkable for their beneficial influence on mind and body. Occupations that are inviting and pleasurable, whether they be called work or play, are helpful to human development, longevity, and efficiency. Diversion, recreation, pleasure, are demanded as an antidote to our feelings of depression and fatigue, a stimulant to our courage, a basis for satisfaction with life. All must have recreation and amusement in order to thrive well, but in seeking them it is easy to find and to follow those which, though apparently, and perhaps temporarily healthful, are finally destructive of things good and satisfying. All amusements which leave a sting, or feelings of surfeit or of regret, are either essentially unhealthful (and therefore unjustifiable), or they are used in such a way as, practically, to make them injurious. There are some so-called amusements which are inevitably bad, and there are others which are bad only when they are intemperately pursued. So much depends upon the time, the manner, the amount, the associations, the tendencies of various forms of activity called amusements, that it is impossible to classify them rigidly as either commendable or objectionable. All intelligent persons must admit that our lives should be conformed to ways that are helpful to advancement in all that is really and permanently good.

Amusements should secure _rest from irksome toil_ and conduce to real recuperation. While they enable fatigued parts of the body to rest, they should also bring into action other parts that need, for the general good of the body, as well as for their own good, to be called into exercise. Genuine and healthful amusements stimulate mental emotion in such a way as to make one forget his burdens and sorrows, they leave in the consciousness a sweet memory which spreads its perfume over and through the succeeding period of toil, and even into the toil of one’s neighbors. There should be no doubt about the _effects_. Questionable amusements are usually injurious amusements. Some really commendable forms may be in bad repute simply because they are habitually in bad company, or possibly because of mere prejudice. Each one should be intelligently examined as to its nature and influence, and be accepted or rejected only after a fair judgment is passed upon it.

Comparatively few persons lack opportunities for amusement, and with many the great question is what _not_ to do. With so much to select from, how shall we amuse ourselves? The answer is, _In any way we please_—provided, first, that we can _afford_ it; second, that we find practically that it furnishes the rest and recuperation we _need_ and that without leaving a residuum of regret or of lessened self-respect; third, that our indulgence does not interfere with the natural rights of others, or prove a stumbling-block to them; and fourth, that it is not of such a fascinating nature as to induce us to consume an undue amount of time and energy. It requires a goodly stock of intelligence and conscience to determine, each for himself, what amusements he shall seek, and where, when, and how they shall be sought.

The man or the woman who, at the social party or at the family fireside, plays any kind of a game _for stakes_, even though they may be trifling, thereby kindles and fans a flame that in many cases becomes unquenchable. The person thus tempted easily follows his impulses, and rushes into anything that will either arouse or gratify the love of excitement.

The _moral_ quality of most forms of amusement may be determined simply by their _physical_ effects. So intimately related are mind and body, so influential is the conscience over physical processes, that nothing which the conscience condemns can be healthful and recuperative. And it is equally true that every form of physical excess or of dissipation, inevitably leaves mental recoils and moral stings.

One of the best men of the day, who has seen much of life and who has studied many of its problems, says: “If an amusement sends you home at night nervous, so that you cannot sleep, and you rise up in the morning, not because you are slept out, but because your duties drag you from your slumbers, you have been where you ought not to have been. There are amusements that send a man, next day, to his work, yawning, stupid, nauseated, and with blood-shot eyes; they are wrong amusements. There are entertainments that give a man disgust with the drudgery of life; with work-tools because they are not swords; with working aprons because they are not princely robes; with domestic cattle because they are not infuriated bulls of the arena. If anything sends you home longing for a life of thrilling adventure, for love that takes poison or shoots itself, for moonlight adventures and hair-breadth escapes, you may depend upon it you are the sacrificed victim of unsanctified pleasure. Our recreations are intended to build us up, and if they pull us down, as to our moral or as to our physical strength, you may come to the conclusion that they are obnoxious.”

Wise people judge all so-called amusements by their actual fruits; by their immediate and their remote influence on the body, the mind, and the soul. It is the part of wisdom to cheerfully avoid all that prove to be dissipating to physical energy, or degrading to moral character; and the highest wisdom as clearly dictates that we cheerfully engage in those things which rest, refresh, and energize our God-given powers.

TREATMENT OF SERVANTS.

There is no surer sign of ill breeding and ill feeling than the rude treatment of dependents. The obligation of civility to servants should be inculcated especially upon the young American, who ought to learn at the earliest period that the accidental relation of advantage of position, which is ever alternating in a country free from prescriptive right, gives no title to a haughty demeanor and a domineering conduct. The recognition of the mutual obligation of master and man, and mistress and maid, is a certain sign of the true gentleman and lady, who will never exact from those temporarily placed in subjection to them the civility they are unwilling to bestow. The “thank you,” “please,” and other courteous expressions of a kindly consideration of the obligation of the employer to the employed, will be freely proffered by all who are fully conscious of their social duties and willing to acknowledge them. Policy, as well as good breeding, inculcates the necessity of gentle treatment and courteous behavior to servants, who will seldom fail to respond with a more zealous service and a readier obedience to exactions and commands rendered less harsh and domineering by a soft word and a subdued mastery.

MANAGEMENT OF THE HANDS.

The management of the hands in company seems to embarrass young people greatly. This comes from the false modesty which induces them to suppose they are the observed of all observers. Let them think only of themselves in due proportion of estimate with the vast multitude of mankind, and frequent habitually the company of the refined, and they will probably overcome much of their awkwardness, if they do not acquire a large degree of grace.

POSING FOR EFFECT.

To attitudinize, with the view of producing an impressive effect upon the beholder, seldom succeeds except with the rawest members of society. When detected, as it always is by accomplished people of the world, it creates, at first sight, a feeling of aversion which it is not easy to eradicate. This _posing_ for effect is so old a trick, and so easy of detection, that it is surprising any person who has reached the years of discretion should attempt to play it. Yet how often do we see it, in its various phases of the delicate young lady with the languid air, the listless step, or _die-away_ posture!—the literary young lady with the studiously neglected toilette, the carefully exposed breadth of forehead, and the ever-present, but seldom read book!—the abstemious young lady, who surreptitiously feeds on chops at private lunch, and starves on a pea at the public dinner!—the humane young lady, who pulls Tom’s ears and otherwise tortures brother and sister in the nursery, and does her utmost to fall into convulsions before company at sight of a dead fly!—the fastidious young lady, who faints, should there be an audience to behold the scene, at the sight of roast goose, but whose robust appetite vindicates itself by devouring all that is left of the unclean animal when a private opportunity will allow. We assure our young readers that such affectations are not only absurd, for they are perfectly transparent, but ill bred, as shams of all kinds essentially are.

WINKING AND DOZING IN PUBLIC.

Winking and all knowing glances had better be left to the horse jockeys and the frequenters of the bar-rooms, billiard saloon, and gambling-tables. It would seem hardly necessary to remind any one of the indecorousness of sleeping in company, but it must be recollected that the obligation is equally urgent upon all not to put people to sleep. It is the duty of every one to be wakeful; it is equally so to be as little somniferous in matter and manner as possible. An illustration is given of the somnolency of Washington Irving, who, according to the author, D’Israeli, was taken up bodily from a dinner-table where he had fallen asleep, and did not awake until set down in the midst of an evening party.

BEAUTIFYING THE HANDS.

Much can be done by care to beautify the fingers, upon the grace of which depends greatly the beauty of the whole hand. The natural tapering length of these can only be preserved by removing from them all pinching manacles of kid and jewelry. Much of the beauty of the finger depends upon the proper treatment of the nails. These, if cut too close, deform the finger-ends and render them stubby. The upper and free border of the nail should always be left projecting a line or so beyond the extremity of the finger, and be pared only to a slight curve, without encroaching too much on the angles. To preserve the half moon, or what the anatomists call the _lunula_, which rises just above the root of the nail, and is esteemed so great a beauty, care must be taken to keep down the skin, which constantly tends to encroach upon it. This should be done with a blunt ivory instrument, and the growth gently pushed away, but never cut. By this means, also, the production of the annoying “hang-nail” will be prevented. The habit of filing or scraping the nails is fatal to their perfection, as it thickens their substance and destroys their natural transparency. The ordinary finger-brush should alone be used for cleaning and polishing the nails. The ugly habit of biting the nails is fatal to their beauty. They become excessively brittle in consequence, not being allowed time to acquire their natural toughness, and, moreover, the ends of the fingers, being unsupported, turn over, forming an ugly rim of hard flesh, which will prevent the regular growth of the nail.

CAUSES OF DEFORMED FEET.

The tight shoe or boot, too narrowly toed, is exclusively responsible for that painful affection, _ingrowth_ of the toe-nail. If treated in time, it can be easily and simply cured. All that is necessary is to scrape down the nail until it becomes quite thin, and then cut the projecting edge of it in a semilunar form, with its concavity looking outward from the foot. The nail of the great toe should always be thus pared, care being taken not to clip the angles. This causes it to grow toward the centre, and shrink from the tender flesh at the sides. Chloroform now happily fulfills the service for the rendering of which this awkward process was barely a pretext. Though the operation has thus become painless to the insensible patient, it has lost none of its horror to the spectator. The surgeon, grasping the toe, thrusts the sharp-pointed blade of a pair of scissors under the nail as far as it will go, and then, cutting it in two, tears out each half with a pair of pincers from the quivering flesh in which it has been long imbedded. No one, not even the slave of fashion, should submit to any form of the boot or shoe other than the broad-toed, which is fortunately now in vogue.

The foot, like the hand, is subject to the infirmity of excessive perspiration. It is to be remedied by the same general and local treatment. The habitual daily washing of the feet should be with cold rather than with warm water, and a powder of starch or arrowroot, which it would be well to perfume with bitter almonds, orris, or some other no more intrusive odor, should be sprinkled in the inside of the stocking.

CARE OF THE TEETH.

A wholesome condition of the teeth is not only essential to good looks, but to daily comfort and permanent health. Chewing of the food, so necessary to a good digestion, cannot be properly performed with weak and diseased masticators, which are, in fact, the frequent cause of dyspepsia and other affections of the stomach. Local diseases of the most tormenting kind, such as neuralgia and the various painful face, head, and earaches, and disorders of the eye, as well as the fatal cancer and tedious ulcers of the tongue and lips, are often due to no other cause than a decayed and ragged tooth.

AWKWARDNESS IN SITTING.

Many ladies, by not bending the knees, render their walk very ungraceful. The posture, moreover, if too rigid, particularly in sitting, has an exceedingly ugly look. Some folks are unable to sit on a chair, though they have so many opportunities of learning how to do it. While some never fairly get on a seat but to their own manifest discomfort, and that of all who look upon their misery, poise and balance themselves on the sharp edge, there are others who roll their bodies up into heaps, as it were, and throw them with an audible bounce deep into the receptacle, whatever it may be. Every one seating himself should take his place deliberately, and so completely that he may feel the full repose of the chair, which it is designed to give. The limbs, once at rest, should be moved, if moved at all, as noiselessly as possible; and all extraordinary actions, such as lifting, for example, one leg high upon the other, and holding it there manacled by a grasp of the hand, should be avoided. A person striding a chair, and grinding his teeth, and thrumming his hands on the back, has by no means an elegant look to the observer before or behind. This practice, which is never becoming in any company, is simply indecent in that of women.

ABOUT BLUSHING.

Blushing, which, as a sign of modesty, may be commendable in the young, especially of the female sex, is by no means always pleasing and worthy of encouragement. When immoderate and inopportune, it becomes a social nuisance. There is a false shame, which is the very reverse of true modesty. The usual signs of the fictitious quality are shyness, with the common accompaniments of frequent and ill-timed blushing, hesitancy of speech, hanging of the head, downcast eyes, sidelong glances, shambling and stumbling gait, restlessness of posture, and a general air of voluntary shrinkage, if we may be allowed the term. This false modesty is the result of a genuine vanity, which, overestimating self, fancies it the object of universal attention. This naturally begets a sensitiveness and an anxiety about personal appearance so great that they embarrass the whole behavior; for these excessively vain persons, fancying all eyes constantly upon them, would desire to make a figure in society of which they are manifestly incapable. Of this they are the first to become conscious, and their hopelessness of success is painted in strong colors upon the face, and visibly impressed upon every limb and feature. There are persons who live to an advanced life, and yet retain this fault. It has often proved fatal to the social qualities of some who have been otherwise singularly well adapted not only to receive from society, but to bestow upon it, both distinction and happiness.

STRAY HINTS.

ENJOY THE PRESENT HOUR.

There is an Eastern legend of a powerful genii, who promised a beautiful maiden a gift of rare value if she would pass through a field of corn and, without pausing, going backward, or wandering hither and thither, select the largest and ripest ear,—the value of the gift to be in proportion to the size and perfection of the ear she should choose. She passed through the field, seeing a great many well worth gathering, but always hoping to find a larger and more perfect one, she passed them all by, when, coming to a part of the field where the stalks grew more stunted, she disdained to take one from these, and so came through to the other side without having selected any. This little fable is a faithful picture of many lives, which are rejecting the good things in their way and within their reach, for something before them for which they vainly hope, but will never secure. On a dark night and in a dangerous place, where the footing is insecure, a lantern in the hand is worth a dozen stars. It is well to look beyond the present into the future, and in the season of strength and prosperity, to make provision for a time when misfortune and old age may overtake us. But this does not mean that we should ignore the present altogether, nor that our pleasures should consist solely in the anticipation of some future prosperity or expected success.

MAKE HOME ATTRACTIVE.

Some one has said that the three sweetest words in our language are, “Mother, Home and Heaven.” We may well pity that being so unfortunate as not to have enjoyed the blessings of a happy home, for in the battle of life we need to be armed with the counsels and prayers of a mother, and all holy and sweet home influences, if we are to successfully meet the snares and perils which will beset us. Home is the paradise in which this wonderful world is first revealed to our growing consciousness, and as from its safe shelter we look out upon life we form our estimate of it according to the impressions and teachings we there receive. If the home is brightened with the sunshine of love, its radiance is reflected in all around us, and the whole world appears to us only as one family,—full of kind thoughts, tender sympathies, gentle ministrations and noble deeds. If the home life is sour, gloomy and unhappy, then we see the whole world through the same atmosphere of misery and discontent; and it is to us only a dull, dismal prison, crowded with selfish souls, whose petty strifes and base actions cause perpetual turmoils and unhappiness.

Parents, depend upon it, you have no holier nor higher work to do than to make home attractive. In after years your endeavors will be repaid a hundred fold by the grateful affection, the happy memories, and the noble lives of your children, who, whatever their success elsewhere, will ever turn to the old homestead and its inmates as the Mecca of their earthly pilgrimage.

A SUNNY TEMPER.

If it were possible for us to invoke the aid of some powerful genii, who, as we passed through life, could summon troops of loving friends around us, and make our pathway radiant with their smiles and blessings, we should think no labor too arduous, no sacrifice too great to procure such inestimable happiness. If such a beneficent fairy held court and dispensed such favors, though she dwelt in the uttermost parts of the earth, what caravans of eager pilgrims would throng to that favorite realm! We often forget that the priceless charm which will secure to us all these desirable gifts is within our reach. It is the charm of a sunny temper,—a talisman more potent than station, more precious than gold, more to be desired than fine rubies. It is an aroma, whose fragrance fills the air with the odors of Paradise. It is an amulet, at sight of which dark clouds of perplexity and hideous shapes of discord flee away. It wreathes the face with smiles, creates friends, promotes cheerfulness, awakens tenderness, and scatters happiness. It fills the heart with joy, it robs sorrow of its pain and makes of earth a very heaven below.

VALUE OF FEMALE SOCIETY TO MAN.

One of the most marked men of this century, Disraeli, who achieved distinction in many different lines of thought and action, toward the close of a career of extraordinary success, made the remarkable statement that “a female friend, amiable, clever and devoted, is a possession more valuable than parks and palaces, and without such a nurse, few men can succeed in life,—none be content.” The reason why multitudes of gifted and brilliant men fail in their career, is for want of the very traits of character which female society would impart. How many men are intellectual, well informed, and possess a complete practical knowledge of the pursuit they enter upon! but they are _brusque_, imperious, and overbearing; they lack the urbanity of demeanor, the consideration of others’ feelings, the gracefulness of expression, which are necessary to conciliate men and to draw them to themselves; and for the need of these qualities their progress is impeded, or they fail in their plans altogether. The female character possesses those qualities in which most men are deficient,—the delicate instincts, the acute perceptions, the ready judgment, the wonderful intuitions,—these all belong to her by native right, and are usually acquired by men through her influence.

HOME MAXIMS.

The following maxims, if put in practice daily, would do much to promote harmony and good feeling in the home:

“Never make a remark at the expense of the other; it is meanness.”

“Never manifest anger.”

“Never speak loud to one another, unless the house is on fire.”

“Never reflect on a past action which was done with a good motive, and with the best judgment.”

“Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. Besides, it may be that you will not meet again in life.”

“Let each one strive to yield oftenest to the wishes of the other, which is the mutual cultivation of an absolute unselfishness.”

TRUE POLITENESS.

Politeness has been called the oil which makes the wheels of society run smoothly; and certainly it does greatly lessen the friction of daily contact with each other. Keen perceptions, a wise discernment, and a natural power of imitation, with much contact with the world, are the essential requirements of polished manners. It has been said “that the best bred man is he who is possessed of dignified ease, to reconcile him to all situations and society.” This is not attained so much from a knowledge of the rules of etiquette, as by an innate nobility of character, a greatness of soul, and proper self-respect. True politeness is never the product merely of punctilious conformity to established usages, although it is necessary to have a knowledge of these, but rather of an overflowing kindness of heart, a generosity of spirit, and a sacred regard for the golden rule. Indeed, the grand foundation on which the etiquette of all civilized countries is based, is that of doing to others as you would they should do unto you, and in preferring others to yourself.

MOCK MODESTY.

A proper sense of modesty is a virtue which makes real merit more charming, because seemingly unconscious of excellence. But carried to an excess it will tend to dwarf the powers, cripple the energies and defeat the great purposes of life. When a man is well qualified to do a certain thing, and feels that he can and ought to do it, but is impelled by modesty to shrink back into obscurity for fear of bringing himself into notice, then has his modesty degenerated into cowardice, and instead of consoling himself that he is cherishing a great virtue, he needs the lash of stern rebuke for his lack of manliness. One of the most charming of essayists, says: “I have noticed that under the notion of modesty men have indulged themselves in a spiritless sheepishness, and been forever lost to themselves, their families, their friends and their country. I have said often, modesty must be an act of the will, and yet it always implies self-denial, for if a man has a desire to do what is laudable for him to perform, and from an unmanly bashfulness shrinks away and lets his merit languish in silence, he ought not to be angry with the world that a more unskillful actor succeeds in his part, because he has not confidence to come upon the stage himself.”

THE ART OF CONVERSATION.

To converse well requires more than mere information or knowledge, combined with a ready facility of expression. There must also be sound judgment and a good heart, for without these all other triumphs are hollow and delusive. Our conversation should be such as will be agreeable to others; the subject of it should be appropriate to the time, place and company, and we should avoid all bitterness, all thoughtless criticisms, all unseemly ridicule, and the heartlessness which wounds the feelings and disturbs the peace of those who listen to us,—and then our presence will be welcomed, and we shall diffuse pleasure and promote friendship. All the resources of tact and wisdom may be summoned into action in the exercise of our colloquial powers. An ancient philosopher made it a rule to divide the day into several parts, appointing each part to its proper engagement, and one of these was devoted to _silence wherein to study what to say_. What innumerable heart-burnings; what a multitude of quarrels; what a host of local feuds would be avoided, if this wise rule were universally followed!

WHEN “SMALL-TALK” IS TIMELY.

One of the first requisites of conversation is to have something worth saying. Lowell once said, “Blessed are they who have nothing to say, and cannot be persuaded to say it;” and another remarked, “There are few wild beasts to be dreaded more than a communicative man with nothing to communicate.” Clearly, this might be aimed at the small-talk habits of some.

Carlyle, in his rugged, vigorous style, expresses himself quite as strongly to the same point: “Thou who wearest that cunning, heaven-made organ, a tongue, think well of this: Speak not, I passionately entreat thee, till thy thought have silently matured itself, till thou have other than mad and mad-making noises to emit; _hold thy tongue_ till _some_ meaning lie behind it to set it wagging. Consider the significance of SILENCE; it is boundless,—never by meditating to be exhausted; unspeakably profitable to thee! Cease that chaotic hub-bub wherein thy own soul runs to waste, to confused suicidal dislocation and stupor; out of silence comes strength.”

The ground-work of conversation is knowledge of the subject under consideration, and without this words are but useless sounds. Yet there are conditions in which a vigorous flow of “small-talk,” we talk with no particular object or value. Live to enliven and keep in good humor, is most desirable.

MONOPOLIZING TALKERS.

An eminent clergyman once administered this rebuke to a young lady, who absorbed the entire time of the company by her small talk: “Madam, before you withdraw, I have one piece of advice to give you, and that is, when you go into company again, after you have talked half an hour without intermission, I recommend it to you to stop awhile, and see if any other of the company has anything to say.” There are few persons of such rare learning and ability that one can afford, when in their company, to be only a listener. There is a Chinese proverb that “a single conversation across the table with a wise man is better than ten years’ study with books.” But how comparatively few good talkers there are, and how lightly is the art esteemed. And yet, will it not always be true that “Words fitly spoken are like apples of gold in pictures of silver?”

A POINT ON BEING WELL DRESSED.

A celebrated English divine once said to a lady: “Madam, so dress and so conduct yourself, that persons who have been in your company shall not recollect what you had on.” To be well dressed does not necessarily mean that your apparel should be a copy of the latest whim of fashion, or made of the costliest material. That person is well dressed whose attire shows a suitableness to circumstances of time and place, and the position and means of the wearer. Neglect and inattention to the small externals of dress should be carefully guarded against.

ENJOY YOUR YOUTH.

Youth comes to us but once; it is the season of golden hopes, of overflowing spirits and of joyous anticipations, and so it demands surroundings suited to these emotions. You may require no recreation but such as your business and daily toil supply; your mind may be absorbed in your plans and schemes, which appear to you of almost as much importance as the affairs of an empire, and with this you are satisfied; but, if so, your eyes are not young eyes, and your heart must have long ago been dead to the voices of your youth, to expect that your children will be contented and happy, unless you respond to some of the impulses of their joyous natures. If you have not already the refining power of music in your little circle, procure a piano or organ, and encourage your children to sing and play. Surround yourself with a little social circle of your own. Adorn your walls with pictures and thus cultivate a love of art; subscribe to a standard magazine or two, and provide them with such books as will give them glimpses of what is going on in the world around them.

THE SUPERIOR HOSTESS.

A superior hostess does not make her house a spectacle. She infuses into her hospitalities the charm of comfort and purity, the sweetness of friendship, the sacredness of the relation between the entertainer and the entertained; and between herself and even the humblest of her guests there is a recognizable tie which is as dissimilar to that which fastens her interest to another guest as its variation is charming.

A USEFUL HINT.

At an evening visit or entertainment, if the invited person departs before the usual and specified hour, he and she should omit formal adieus, if possible, to avoid putting the thoughts of an unusually early departure into the minds of other guests; but if an unnoticed departure is impossible, the leave-taking should be quietly done, the hostess expressing her regret at the early departure, but on no account can she request a delay that some necessity has demanded. It would be as unkind as it would be indelicate to urge a guest to inconvenience himself for the sake of keeping a crowd intact at a fashionable crush, or even at a small party.

HOW TO AMUSE.

THE DANCING EGG.

Place the egg (which should be hard-boiled, not raw) upon the under-side of a smooth tray, and move the tray round and round horizontally, gradually increasing in speed. The egg, resting in the middle of the tray, is carried round and round by the movement, and gradually begins to revolve on its own axis, faster and faster, till at last it is seen to rise on end, and spin away exactly as a top would do.

In all experiments involving egg-balancing, you will find it a material aid to success to keep the egg upright in the saucepan while it is being boiled. The air-chamber will, in such case, be kept central with the longer axis of the egg, which will in consequence be much more easily balanced.

To set the egg spinning as above described demands a considerable amount of practice, not to mention some strength, and, still more, address. For the benefit of those who may prefer to succeed at the first attempt, I will indicate a simpler plan of proceeding:—

Place the tray on the table, letting it project so far over the edge as to be readily and rapidly grasped by the hand. Place the egg in the middle, and with the thumb of the left and the first finger of the right hand placed at opposite ends, set it vigorously spinning. It will immediately rise on end, still spinning. Quickly seize the tray, and you will then have nothing to do but to keep the egg still rotating, which is a very easy matter. This is done by moving the tray in horizontal circles, but in the reverse direction to that in which the egg revolves.

THE OLD FAMILY COACH.

Miss Annie and Clara and the Little Dog decided to take a ride in the Family Coach, so, whip in hand, the fat Coachman shut the Door, mounted the box, the Little Dog barked, when they entered the Family Coach, and almost fell among the Wheels. Miss Clara and Annie scolded the Coachman for being so careless in starting the Family Coach too soon, and putting the Little Dog in danger of falling among the Wheels. Finally the Coachman cracked his whip and the Family Coach started in good shape, the Little Dog barking furiously. Everything went well with the Family Coach for a few miles, till the Coachman spied a pretty girl on the road. He kept looking after her and did not see that he was putting the Family Coach and horses in danger, when crash! went the Family Coach. Miss Clara and Miss Annie screamed, the Little Dog barked; the Coachman shouted, the Wheels went in different directions, and the Axle, the Whiffle Tree and all the parts of the Family Coach were left in a heap in the road, in care of the Coachman, while Miss Clara, Miss Annie and the Little Dog went home on foot. Such were the adventures of the Family Coach.

Assemble the company, and give to each one of the names that are capitalized in the first paragraph, four being Wheels, two Axles, one the Whiffle Tree and one the Door, the names of the ladies to two, and select the tallest person in the room for the Little Dog. After all the names of all the parts are given, some one stands in the middle of the floor and reads the Adventures of the Family Coach.

Each time the Family Coach is mentioned every one in the room should rise, turn around three times, and sit down again. When the wheels are mentioned, four persons bearing the names of Wheels also rise, turn around three times, and sit down. The Little Dog barks, the Coachman shouts, the two ladies bow when their names (Miss Clara and Miss Annie), are called. There is great fun when the Little Dog is called on repeatedly to rise, turn, and sit down again. When the Horses are mentioned four persons also rise, turn around, etc., and so until disaster overtakes the Coach. This game causes much merriment, and general good feeling.

THE GAME OF QUOTATIONS.

All the members of the company being seated, each is provided with pencil and paper. Some one gives a quotation, while the other players write the speaker’s name upon their papers, and opposite it the name of the author from whom they believe he has quoted. After each in turn has given a quotation, the papers are collected and re-distributed, care being taken that no one shall receive his own. Then each repeats the quotation originally given, this time adding the name of the author; the other players correcting meanwhile the papers held by them. The person who has given the largest number of authors correctly wins a prize. For example, the first player rises and says:

Colors seen by candle-light
Do not look the same by day.

The next says:

Handsome is that handsome does.

And so on until all have given quotations. When the papers are exchanged, No. 1, again rising says:

Colors seen by candle-light
Do not look the same by day.
Mrs. Browning.

No. 2:

Handsome is that handsome does.
Goldsmith.

And so on through the list. If any player has substituted some other name for Browning or Goldsmith, or has failed to write the name of any author, it must be marked as incorrect. One player then collects and compares all the papers and announces the winner of the contest.

CRAMBO.

Each member of the party is provided with paper and pencil, also with two small cards or slips of paper, upon one of which is to be written a question and on the other a single word. The questions and words are collected separately and re-distributed, whereupon each player must answer in rhyme the question he has drawn, introducing into the rhyme the word on the other card. The time is limited to five minutes, and when this has expired, each reads aloud the result of his labors, first giving the question and word received. To make the game more interesting it is sometimes required that the word received shall be made a rhyming word. Here is an example: A writes for his question “Where is the end of the rainbow?” and for his single word “goose.” In the allotted time he writes the following:

You ask where the end of the rainbow is found;
Just answer yourself if you can, sir.
For “anser” in Latin in English means “goose,”
And I’m not such a goose as to answer.

PICTURED QUOTATIONS.

At the top of a half sheet of paper (each player having one), a picture is rudely drawn illustrating some quotation. When all the drawings are finished each player passes his paper to his right-hand neighbor, who writes his interpretation of the picture at the bottom of the paper, turning the paper over to conceal the writing and passing it on to the next player. When each has written on all the papers and they have returned to their owners, they are unfolded and their contents read aloud, the correct quotation being given last. As an instance, A draws a casement window through which is seen a face gazing at a cluster of stars. The paper is passed to No. 1, and he writes as his interpretation:

In the prison cell I sit, thinking mother dear of you.

No. 2 writes:

Mabel, little Mabel, with her face against the pane.

None guess correctly, so A explains that it illustrates this couplet from Tennyson’s “Locksley Hall:”

Many a night from yonder ivied casement ere I went to rest,
Have I looked on great Orion sloping slowly toward the West.

CROSS QUESTIONS.

The company is divided into two equal parts, and blank cards and pencils are distributed. One side writes questions on any subject desired, while the other prepares in like manner a set of hap-hazard answers. The question cards are then collected and distributed to the players on the other side, while their answers are divided among the questioners. The leader holding a question then reads it aloud, the first player on the other side reading the answer he holds. Some of the answers are highly amusing.

THE GAME OF RHYMES.

A variation of the former game. The game is begun by a young lady or gentleman speaking a single line, to which the next nearest on the left must respond with another line to rhyme with the first. The next player gives a new line, of the same length, and the fourth supplies a rhyme in turn, and so on. The game is provocative of any amount of fun and nonsense. A sample may be given.

1st Player.—I think I see a brindle cow.

2d Player.—It’s nothing but your dad’s bow wow.

3d Player.—He is chasing our black Tommy cat.

4th Player.—Poor puss had best get out of that, etc.

Any amount of nonsense may be indulged in a game of this sort, within proper limits. Clever players can easily give the game a most interesting turn and provoke rhymes that are original and witty. Thus, a subject once started, every phase of it may be touched upon before the round closes.

You are supplied with five straws of equal length (about three and a half inches), and you are required to lift all five, holding only the tip of one of them. A glance will show you the arrangement of the five little straws and the coin in their centre, which is, as will be seen, as simple as possible—when you know it. The use of the coin is an optional addition. It wedges all tight, and prevents the straws slipping when once put together; but it is by no means indispensable.

FRENCH RHYMES.

Each member of the company writes upon a slip of paper two words that rhyme. These are collected by one player and read aloud, and as they are read everybody writes them down upon new papers. Five or ten minutes being allowed, each player must write a poem introducing all the rhyming words in their original pairs. At the expiration of the given time the lines are read aloud. Suppose the words given are “man and than,” “drops and copse,” “went and intent,” etc., these are easily framed into something like this:

Once on a time a brooklet drops,
With splash and dash, through a shady copse;
One day there chanced to pass a man,
Who, deeming water better than
Cider, down by the brooklet went,
To dip some up was his intent.

Of course the result is nonsense, but it is pleasant nonsense, and may be kept up indefinitely, to the entertainment of the participants.

WHERE’S YOUR LETTER GOING?

All being seated, two of the company are chosen, one for postmaster, the other for carrier. The Postmaster gives the name of some city to each person, writing the names down upon paper as they are given. The carrier, blindfolded, stands in the middle of the room and the postman calls: “I have a letter to go from Philadelphia to St. Louis.”

As the names are mentioned, the persons representing these cities change places, the carrier at the same time trying to catch one of them. If he succeeds, and can, while blindfolded, give the name of the captured player, the latter becomes carrier in turn. When the postman says: “I have letters to go all over the world,” everybody rises and changes places, and if in the confusion the carrier captures a seat, the player who remains standing becomes carrier in turn.

Problem: To find the position in which a knife must be held that a pear, suspended high up near to the ceiling, shall, on the severing of the thread to which it is attached, so fall as to cut itself in half upon the blade. There is no necessity for line or plummet; we need only dip the suspended pear in a glass of water, which we forthwith remove. The water drips from it; we note the exact spot on floor or table where the drops fall, and make a private mark on such spot.

This is done privately beforehand, so that the company, on their arrival, find the pear suspended in readiness for the feat, and know nothing of the tell-tale “drop.”

At the proper moment you hold the knife, edge upward, immediately over the point which you have marked, while some one applies a lighted match to the thread. If you have duly followed our instructions, the pear, in falling, should cut itself in half upon the blade.

For the experiment as above described one knife only is used; but it may also be performed with two knives, as shown in our illustration.

THE GAME OF BOUQUET.

Each player composes in turn a bouquet of three different flowers, that he names aloud to the person conducting the play. The leader then writes the names of the flowers, and after them the names of three persons in the room. He then demands of the player who has composed the bouquet, what he intends doing with the flowers, and upon their proposed disposition being declared, the names of the three persons they represent are read aloud.

EXAMPLE.

Leader.—“Miss A, choose three flowers.”

Miss A.—“A rose, an aster and a pansy.”

L.—“I have written them. Now what will you do with the rose?”

A.—“I will throw it out of the window.”

L.—“And the aster?”

A.—“I will put it in a vase.”

L.—“And the pansy?”

A.—“I will always keep it near me.”

L.—“Very well. You have thrown Mr. A out of the window, put Mr. B in a vase and expressed a desire to keep Mr. C always near you.”

THE ALL-AROUND STORY GAME.

This is a very entertaining game and productive of general merriment, if conducted at all cleverly by the players. One person in the room begins to relate a story, and after telling enough to interest his hearers and arouse their curiosity, suddenly breaking off, throws a knotted handkerchief at some other member of the party, calling upon him to continue the narrative. This is kept up as long as possible, the more absurd and improbable the plot of the story the better. If any one fails to respond upon receiving the handkerchief, he or she must pay a forfeit.

TONGUE-TWISTERS.

The amusing game of tongue-twisters is played thus: The leader gives out a sentence (one of the following), and each repeats it in turn, any player who gets tangled up in the pronunciation, having to pay forfeit.

A haddock! a haddock! a black-spotted haddock, a black spot on the black back of the black-spotted haddock.

She sells sea shells.

She stood at the door of Mr. Smith’s fish-sauce shop, welcoming him in.

The sea ceaseth and it sufficeth us.

Six thick thistle sticks.

The flesh of freshly fried flying fish.

A growing gleam glowing green.

I saw Esau kissing Kate, the fact is we all three saw; I saw Esau, he saw me, and she saw I saw Esau.

Swan swam over the sea; swim, swan, swim; swan swam back again; well swum, swan.

You snuff shop snuff, I snuff box snuff.

The bleak breeze blighted the bright broom blossoms.

High roller, low roller, rower.

Oliver Oglethorp ogled an owl and oyster. Did Oliver Oglethorp ogle an owl and oyster? If Oliver Oglethorp ogled an owl and oyster, where are the owl and oyster Oliver Oglethorp ogled?

Hobbs meets Snobbs and Nobbs; Hobbs bobs to Snobbs and Nobbs; Hobbs nobs with Snobbs and robs Nobbs’ fob. “That is,” says Nobbs, “the worse for Hobbs’ jobs,” and Snobbs sobs.

Susan shines shoes and socks; socks and shoes shine Susan. She ceaseth shining shoes and socks, for shoes and socks shock Susan.

Robert Rowley rolled a round roll round; a round roll Robert Rowley rolled round. Where rolled the round roll Robert Rowley rolled round?

Strict, strong Stephen Stringer snared slickly six sickly, silky snakes.

TO BALANCE A PENCIL ON ITS POINT.

Dig the blade of a half open penknife into a pencil, a little above the point, and to open or close the blade, little by little, till you find that the balance is obtained. The combination of pencil and penknife thus placing itself in equilibrio is an illustration of a familiar law of mechanics; the centre of gravity of the combination falls below the point of support (the finger, edge of the table, or the like), and thus stable equilibrium is obtained.

By varying the degree of opening of the penknife, you impart corresponding degrees of inclination to the pencil. When the centre of gravity of the two combined falls in the same line as the axis of the pencil, the latter will assume a perpendicular position.

MY GRANDFATHER’S TRUNK.

A great game for young folks of a winter evening. The company being seated in a circle, somebody begins by saying, for instance:

No. 1. “I pack my grandfather’s trunk with a pair of spectacles.”

No. 2. “I pack my grandfather’s trunk with a pair of spectacles and a silk hat.”

No. 3. “I pack my grandfather’s trunk with a pair of spectacles, a silk hat and a dime novel.” And so on, each person repeating all the articles already mentioned, beside adding a new one.

If any one fails to repeat the list correctly, he drops out of the game, which is continued until the contents of the trunk are unanimously declared too numerous to remember.

HOW, WHEN AND WHERE.

One member of the company leaving the room, a word admitting of more than one interpretation is chosen by the others. On his return, he asks each in succession, “How do you like it?” The player questioned being required to give an appropriate answer. He then inquires in similar manner, “When do you like it?” and if the answer to that question still give him no clue, proceeds to ask, “Where do you like it?”

When he at last discovers the word, the person whose answer has furnished him with the most information, must in turn leave the room and become the questioner.

We will suppose the word chosen to be “rain,” which can also be taken as “reign” or “rein.”

The question “How do you like it?” receives the answers “tight,” “heavy,” “short,” “warm,” etc.

The question “When do you like it?” “In summer,” “When I am driving,” “In the nineteenth century,” etc.

“Where do you like it?” “In England,” “On a horse,” “In the sky,” etc.

“I LOVE MY LOVE.”

A pretty game and a prime favorite with country lads and lasses. The leader commences by saying, “I love my love with an ‘A’ because she is Angelic, because her name is Araminta and because she lives in Atlanta. I will give her an Amethyst, feed her upon Almonds and make her a bouquet of Anemones.” The next player, taking the letter “B,” loves his love in the same set of phrases, only because she is Bewitching, her name is Belinda, etc. The next takes “C,” and so on through the alphabet, omitting the letter X.

Any one failing to supply the required words promptly gives a forfeit.

TO DRIVE A NEEDLE THROUGH A CENT.

To drive a needle through a cent, particularly if the needle be a fine one, seems at first sight an impossibility. It is, however, a very easy matter, if you set about it in the right way. Thrust the needle through a cork, allowing the point to project slightly, and then, with a pair of cutting-pliers, nip off all that remains exposed at the opposite end. Place cork and cent as shown in our illustration, or simply let the coin rest on a piece of soft wood, and hammer away vigorously on the top of the cork.

The needle, being steel, is harder than the bronze of the coin, and the cork preventing it from bending to either side, it may be driven through the cent, or any other coin of like substance, with perfect ease.

The cork should be kept in position with the left hand, while receiving the blows of the hammer.

PROVERBS.

This game requires the players to be alert and on the watch for the words that give the clue to the solution. One player (A) having gone from the room, a proverb is selected by the others, of which each person takes a separate word, in order. The absent player then being recalled, proceeds to question the others singly, each introducing in his answer the word of the proverb he has previously received. Suppose the proverb selected to be “Nothing venture nothing have,” the game would proceed thus:

A. “Is the proverb a long one?”

1st Player. “Nothing should be too long for you to guess.”

A. “Have you ever played this game before?”

2d P. “Really I cannot venture to say.”

A. “Are you fond of parlor games?”

3d P. “Nothing pleases me more.”

A. “Are you enjoying yourself this evening?”

4th P. “I have enjoyed myself thus far.”

If A has not by this time guessed the proverb, he continues his questions until enlightened, when the player whose answer has given him the most information goes from the room.

Rather a noisy way of playing the same game is to have all the players at a given signal shout their words in unison, leaving the listener to distinguish in the uproar some word that shall give him a clue to the proverb. The shouting is repeated as often as desired until he is successful.

In either modification of the game the player whose answer or word leads the questioner to discovery becomes the one to go from the room.

TOSSING THE RINGS.