Chapter VI: Preface: I. Tremendous Trifles

II. A Piece of Chalk

III. The Secret of a Train

IV. The Perfect Game

V. The Extraordinary Cabman

VI. An Accident

VII. The Advantages of Having One Leg

VIII. The End of the World

IX. In the Place de La Bastille

X. On Lying in Bed

XI. The Twelve Men

XII. The Wind and the Trees

XIII. The Dickensian

XIV. In Topsy-Turvy Land

XV. What I Found in My Pocket

XVI. The Dragon's Grandmother

XVII. The Red Angel

XVIII. The Tower

XIX. How I Met the President

XX. The Giant

XXI. A Great Man

XXII. The Orthodox Barber

XXIII. The Toy Theatre

XXIV. A Tragedy of Twopence

XXV. A Cab Ride Across Country

XXVI. The Two Noises

XXVII. Some Policemen and a Moral

XXVIII. The Lion

XXIX. Humanity: an Interlude

XXX. The Little Birds Who Won't Sing

XXXI. The Riddle of the Ivy

XXXII. The Travellers in State

XXXIII. The Prehistoric Railway Station

XXXIV. The Diabolist

XXXV. A Glimpse of My Country

XXXVI. A Somewhat Improbable Story

XXXVII. The Shop Of Ghosts

XXXVIII. The Ballade of a Strange Town

XXXIX. The Mystery of a Pageant

ALARMS AND DISCURSIONS

By G. K. Chesterton

CONTENTS

Introductory: On Gargoyles

I

II

III

The Surrender of a Cockney

The Nightmare

The Telegraph Poles

A Drama of Dolls

The Man and His Newspaper

The Appetite of Earth

Simmons and the Social Tie

Cheese

The Red Town

The Furrows

The Philosophy of Sight-seeing

A Criminal Head

The Wrath of the Roses

The Gold of Glastonbury

The Futurists

Dukes

The Glory of Grey

The Anarchist

How I found the Superman

The New House

The Wings of Stone

The Three Kinds of Men

The Steward of the Chiltern Hundreds

The Field of Blood

The Strangeness of Luxury

The Triumph of the Donkey

The Wheel

Five Hundred and Fifty-five

Ethandune

The Flat Freak

The Garden of the Sea

The Sentimentalist

The White Horses

The Long Bow

The Modern Scrooge

The High Plains

The Chorus

A Romance of the Marshes

ALL THINGS CONSIDERED BY G. K. CHESTERTON 1915

CONTENTS

THE CASE FOR THE EPHEMERAL
COCKNEYS AND THEIR JOKES
THE FALLACY OF SUCCESS
ON RUNNING AFTER ONE'S HAT
THE VOTE AND THE HOUSE
CONCEIT AND CARICATURE
PATRIOTISM AND SPORT.
AN ESSAY ON TWO CITIES.
FRENCH AND ENGLISH
THE ZOLA CONTROVERSY
OXFORD FROM WITHOUT
WOMAN
THE MODERN MARTYR
ON POLITICAL SECRECY
THOUGHTS AROUND KOEPENICK
THE BOY
ON THE CRYPTIC AND THE ELLIPTIC
THE WORSHIP OF THE WEALTHY
THE METHUSELAHITE
THE ERROR OF IMPARTIALITY
FAIRY TALES
TOM JONES AND MORALITY
THE MAID OF ORLEANS
A DEAD POET
CHRISTMAS

THE CRIMES OF ENGLAND By Gilbert K. Chesterton 1916

DETAILED CONTENTS

CHAPTER I

SOME WORDS TO PROFESSOR WHIRLWIND

The German Professor, his need of Education
for Debate—Three Mistakes of German
Controversialists—The Multiplicity of
Excuses—Falsehood against Experience—
Kultur preached by Unkultur—The Mistake
about Bernard Shaw—German Lack of
Welt-Politik—Where England is really
Wrong.

CHAPTER II

THE PROTESTANT HERO

Suitable Finale for the German Emperor—Frederick
II. and the Power of
Fear—German Influence in England since
Lather—Our German Kings and Allies—
Triumph of Frederick the Great.

CHAPTER III

THE ENIGMA OF WATERLOO

How we helped Napoleon—The Revolution
and the Two Germanics—Religious
Resistance of Austria and Russia—Irreligious
Resistance of Prussia and England—Negative
Irreligion of England—its Idealism
in Snobbishness—Positive Irreligion of
Prussia; no Idealism in Anything—Allegory
and the French Revolution—The Dual
Personality of England; the Double Battle—Triumph
of Blucher.

CHAPTER IV

THE COMING OF THE JANISSARIES

The Sad Story of Lord Salisbury—Ireland
and Heligoland—The Young Men of
Ireland—The Dirty Work—The Use of
German Mercenaries—The Unholy Alliance—Triumph
of the German Mercenaries.

CHAPTER V

THE LOST ENGLAND

Truth about England and Ireland—Murder
and the Two Travellers—Real Defence
of England—The Lost Revolution—Story
of Cobbett and the Germans—Historical
Accuracy of Cobbett—Violence of the English
Language—Exaggerated Truths versus
Exaggerated Lies—Defeat of the People—Triumph
of the German Mercenaries.

CHAPTER VI

HAMLET AND THE DANES

Degeneration of Grimm's Fairy Tales—From
Tales of Terror to Tales of Terrorism—German
Mistake of being Deep—The
Germanisation of Shakespeare—Carlyle and
the Spoilt Child—The Test of Teutonism—
Hell or Hans Andersen—Causes of English
Inaction—Barbarism and Splendid Isolation—
The Peace of the Plutocrats—Hamlet
the Englishman—The Triumph of Bismarck.

CHAPTER VII

THE MIDNIGHT OF EUROPE

The Two Napoleons—Their Ultimate
Success—The Interlude of Sedan—The
Meaning of an Emperor—The Triumph of
Versailles—The True Innocence of England—
Triumph of the Kaiser.

CHAPTER VIII

THE WRONG HORSE

Lord Salisbury Again—The Influence of
1870—The Fairy Tale of Teutonism—The
Adoration of the Crescent—The Reign of
the Cynics—Last Words to Professor
Whirlwind.

CHAPTER IX

THE AWAKENING OF ENGLAND

The March of Montenegro—The Anti-Servile
State—The Prussian Preparation—The
Sleep of England—The Awakening of
England.

CHAPTER X

THE BATTLE OF THE MARNE

The Hour of Peril—The Human Deluge—The
English at the Marne.

CONTENTS

THE CRIMES OF ENGLAND

CHAPTER I. — Some Words to Professor Whirlwind

CHAPTER II. — The Protestant Hero

CHAPTER III. — The Enigma of Waterloo

CHAPTER IV. — The Coming of the Janissaries

CHAPTER V. — The Lost England

CHAPTER VI. — Hamlet and the Danes

CHAPTER VII. — The Midnight of Europe

CHAPTER VIII. — The Wrong Horse

CHAPTER IX. — The Awakening of England

CHAPTER X. — The Battle of the Marne

NOTE ON THE WORD "ENGLISH"

THE BARBARISM OF BERLIN BY G.K. CHESTERTON First Published in 1914

CONTENTS