Chapter VIII: Part 8
'Mirelle,' he said, 'I will not be interrupted in what I was saying, because I have determined to throw my mind and heart open to you. I dare say you have wondered how my engagement to Orange hung fire. I was bound to her, but my heart was elsewhere. You cannot understand the distressing situation in which I found myself, bound in honour to hold to an engagement which I detested, when all my hopes of happiness lay in another direction. You do not know what it is to be tied to one person and to love another. It is now many months since I first saw you, and the more I have seen of you the deeper, the more intense has been my love for you, and my repugnance towards a marriage with Orange. You and I are one in sympathies, in rank, and in faith. We understand each other; we are, as it were, made to constitute each other's happiness.'
Mirelle put her hand on the Captain's arm, and tried to speak--to avert what he was saying; but the words died on her tongue. She trembled helplessly. Then she clasped her hands, and wrung them on her lap, despairingly. Speak she could not; but if Trecarrel had looked into her face, he would have seen the agony of her soul, and how she implored him, with her terrified eyes and her quivering lips, to forbear. He did not look. If he had, and read that appeal, it would not have stayed him.
'I did not venture to declare to you--no, not even to allow you to suspect--what was passing within me. I am a gentleman of high and honourable feelings. I knew that I had allowed myself, through inadvertence, to become entangled in an engagement to a person whom I could regard, but could not love. All at once I became aware that my heart was elsewhere. I proceeded, however, as an honourable man, to fulfil that which I had undertaken. What my misery was, you can ill conceive. I saw the fatal day approach with feelings of disgust and despair. That day would bind me for life to an uncongenial companion, and separate me for ever from her whom I felt, whom I knew, to be essential to my happiness. Is it a marvel that, when circumstances occurred which arrested the marriage, I felt relief? Is it to be wondered at that now I feel a doubt whether I ought to go further in this matter? Ask yourself, am I further tied--in duty--in honour? Can I conscientiously marry a girl whom I do not love, whom I have even come to regard with repugnance, with whom I can never be happy, and whose whole life will be embittered by the knowledge that though she has my name and my hand, she has not gained my heart? No, Mirelle; dear, dearest Mirelle, no!'
'Stay--in heaven's name, stay!' gasped Mirelle. 'You must not speak to me thus.'
'Why not?'
'I must ask you a question,' she said, and wiped the cold dew from her lips and brow. 'I must ask of you a favour.'
'Ask me anything; it is yours.'
'Captain Trecarrel, this is Christmas Day. After eight days I shall belong to another. I ask you--allow me to be married in Trecarrel Chapel.'
Her heart beat so fast that it took away her breath. She was unable to proceed.
Captain Trecarrel's blue eyes opened with amazement. He could not believe his ears.
'I shall be married to--John Herring.'
Then she sank back in the coach, and threw her handkerchief over her face. The wheels rattled over the pavement of the street.
'Stop!' shouted the Captain. 'Damnation! stop!'
He got out. 'Drive on hard to Dolbeare, coachman; the young lady has fainted.'
So the coach rattled through the marketplace and along the High Street, whilst the bells rang merrily, merrily, Glad tidings of great joy! Roast beef and plum pudding and mince-pies to those who can afford it; to the poor--nothing.
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John Herring: A West of England Romance. Volume 2 (of 3)Chapter VIII: Part 8
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