Chapter XV: Part 15
"How many years it is since I heard the cuckoo!" he exclaimed, brushing his hand across his eyes. "More than twenty, I suppose. It seems to bring back my youth to me. What a thing it would be for us, sir, if we could only go to the mill that grinds people young again!"
The Squire laughed. "It is good of _you_ to talk of age, Marks; why, I must be nearly double yours," he added--which of course was random speaking.
"I feel old, Mr. Todhetley: perhaps older than you do. Think of the difference in our mode of life. I, tied to a desk for more hours of the twenty-four than I care to think of, my brain ever at work; you, revelling in this beautiful, healthy freedom!"
"Ay, well, it is a difference, when you come to think of it," said the Squire soberly.
"I must not repine," returned Marks. "There are more men in my case than in yours. No doubt it is well for me," he continued, dropping his voice, with a sigh. "Were your favoured lot mine, sir, I might find so much good in it as to forget that this world is not our home."
Perhaps it had never struck the Squire before how much he was to be envied; but Marks put it strongly. "You'd find crosses and cares enough in my place, I can tell you, Marks, of one sort or another. Johnny, here, knows how I am bothered sometimes."
"No doubt of it," replied Marks, with a smile. "No lot on earth can be free from its duties and responsibilities; and they must of necessity entail care. That is one thing, Mr. Todhetley; but to be working away your life at high pressure--and to know that you are working it away--is another."
"You acknowledge, then, that you are working too hard, Marks," said the Squire.
"I know I am, sir. But there's no help for it."
"It is a pity."
"Why it should begin to tell upon me so early I don't know. There are numbers of other men, who work as long and as hard as I do, and are seemingly none the worse for it."
"The time will come though when they will be, I presume."
"As surely as that sun is shining in the sky."
"Possibly you have been more anxious than they, Marks."
"It may be so. My conscience has always been in my work, to do it efficiently. I fear, too, I am rather sensitively organized as to nerves and brain. Upon those who are so, I fancy work tells sooner than on others."
The Squire put his arm within Marks's. "You must have a bit of a struggle to get along, too, on your small salary."
"True: and it all helps. Work and struggle together are not the most desirable combination. But for being obliged to increase my means by some stratagem or other, I should not have taken on the additional evening's work."
"How long are you at it, now, of an evening?"
"Usually about two hours. On Saturdays and at Christmas-time longer."
"And I suppose you must continue this night-work?"
"Yes. I get fifty pounds a year for it. And I assure you I should not know how to spare one pound of the fifty. No one knows the expenses of children, except those who have to look at every shilling before it can be spent."
There was a pause. Mr. Marks stooped, plucked a cowslip and held it to his lips.
"Don't you think, Marks," resumed the Squire, in a confidential, friendly tone, "that you were just a little imprudent to marry?"
"No, I do not think I was," he replied slowly, as if considering the question. "I did not marry very early: I was eight-and-twenty; and I had got together the wherewithal to furnish a house, and something in hand besides. The question was mooted among us at Brown's the other day--whether it was wiser, or not, for young clerks to marry. There is a great deal to be urged both ways--against marrying and against remaining single."
"What can you urge against remaining single?"
"A very great deal, sir. I feel sure, Mr. Todhetley, that you can form no idea of the miserable temptations that beset a young fellow in London. Quite half the London clerks, perhaps more, have no home to go to when their day is over; I mean no parent's home. A solitary room and no one to bear them company in it; that's all they have; perhaps, in addition, a crabbed landlady. Can you blame them very much if they go out and escape this solitude?--they are at the age, you know, when enjoyment is most keen; the thirst for it well-nigh irrepressible----"
"And then they go off to those disreputable singing places!" exploded the Squire, not allowing him to finish.
"Singing places, yes; and other places. Theatres, concerts, supper-rooms--oh, I cannot tell you a tithe of the temptation that meets them at every turn and corner. Many and many a poor young fellow, well-intentioned in the main, has been ruined both in pocket and in health by these snares; led into them at first by dangerous companions."
"Surely all do not get led away."
"Not all. Some strive on manfully, remembering early precepts and taking God for their guide, and so escape. But it is not the greater portion who do this. Some marry early, and secure themselves a home. Which is best?--I put the question only in a worldly point of view. To commit the imprudence of marrying, and so bring on themselves and wives intolerable perplexity and care: or to waste their substance in riotous living!"
"I'll be shot if I know!" cried the Squire, taking off his hat to rub his puzzled head. "It's a sad thing for poor little children to be pinched, and for men like you to be obliged to work yourselves to shatters to keep them. But as to those others, I'd give 'em all a night at the treadmill. Johnny! Johnny Ludlow!"
"Yes, sir."
"You may be thankful that _you_ don't live in London."
I had been thinking to myself that I was thankful not to be one of those poor young clerks to have no home to go to when work was over. Some fellows would rather tramp up and down the streets, than sit alone in a solitary room; and the streets, according to Marks, teemed with temptations. He resumed.
"In my case I judged it the reverse of imprudence to marry, for my wife expected a fairly good fortune. She was an only child, and her father had realized enough to live quietly; say three or four hundred a year. Mr. Stockleigh had been a member of the Stock Exchange, but his health failed and he retired. Neither I nor his daughter ever doubted--no, nor did he himself--that this money must come to us in time."
"And won't it?" cried the Squire.
Marks shook his head. "I fear not. A designing servant, that they had, got over him after his daughter left--he was weak in health and weak in mind--and he married her. Caroline--my wife--resented it naturally; there was some recrimination on either side, and since then they have closed the door against her and me. So you see, with no prospect before us, there's nothing for me but to work the harder," he concluded, with a kind of plucked-up cheerfulness.
"But, to do that, you should get up your health and strength, Marks. You must, you know. What would you do if you broke down?"
"Hush!" came the involuntary and almost affrighted answer. "Don't remind me of it, sir. Sometimes I dream of it, and cannot bear to awaken."
We had got to like Marks very much only in those few days. He was a gentleman in mind and manners and a pleasant one into the bargain, though he did pass his days adding up figures and was kept down by poverty. The Squire meant to keep him for a month: two months if he would stay.
On the following morning, Tuesday, during breakfast-time, a letter came for him by the post--the first he had had. He had told his wife she need not write to him, wanting to have all the time for idle enjoyment: not to spend it in answering letters.
"From home, James?" asked Mrs. Todhetley.
"No," said he, smiling. "It is only a reminder that I am due to-morrow at the house."
"What house?" cried the Squire.
"Our house, sir. Brown and Co.'s."
The Squire put down his buttered roll--for Molly had graciously sent in hot rolls that morning--and stared at the speaker.
"What on earth are you talking of?" he cried. "You don't mean to say you are thinking of going back?"
"Indeed I am--unfortunately. I must get up to London to-night."
"Why, bless my heart," cried the Squire, getting up and standing a bit, "you've not been here a week!"
"It is all the leave I could get, Mr. Todhetley: a week. I thought you understood that."
"You can't go away till you are cured," roared the Squire. "Why didn't you go back the day you came? Don't talk nonsense, Marks."
"Indeed I should like to stay longer," he earnestly said. "I wish I could. Don't you see, Mr. Todhetley, that it does not lie with me?"
"Do you dare to look me in the face, Marks, and tell me this one week's rest has cured you? What on earth!--are you turning silly?"
"It has done me a great, great deal of good----"
"It has not, Marks. It can't have done it; not real good," came the Squire's interruption. "One would think you were a child."
"It was with difficulty I obtained this one week's leave," he explained. "I am really required in the office; my absence I know causes trouble. This holiday has done so much for me that I shall go back with a good heart."
"Look here," said the Squire: "suppose you take French leave, and stay?"
"In that case my discharge would doubtless arrive by the first post."
"Look here again: suppose in a month or two you break down and have to leave? What then?"
"Brown and Co. would appoint a fresh clerk in my place."
"Why don't Brown and Co. keep another clerk or two, so as to work you all less?"
Marks smiled at the very idea. "That would increase their expenses, Mr. Todhetley. They will never do that. It is a part of the business of Brown's life to keep expenses down."
Well, Marks had to go. The Squire was very serious in thinking more rest absolutely needful--of what service _could_ a week be, he reiterated. Down he sat, wrote a letter to Brown and Co., telling them his opinion, and requesting the favour of their despatching James Marks back for a longer holiday. This he sent by post, and they would get it in the morning.
"No, I'll not trust it to you, Marks," he said: "you might never deliver it. Catch an old bird with chaff!"
To this letter there came no answer at all; and Mr. Marks did not come back. The Squire relieved his mind by calling Brown and Co. thieves and wretches--and so it passed. It must be remembered that I am writing of past years, when holidays were not so universal for any class, clerk or master, as they are at present. Not that I am aware whether financiers' clerks get them now.
The next scene in the drama I can only tell by hearsay. It took place in London, where I was not.
* * * * *
It was a dull, rainy day in February, and Mrs. Marks sat in her parlour in Pimlico. The house was one of a long row, and the parlour just about large enough to turn in. She sat by the fire, nursing a little two-year-old girl, and thinking; and three other children, the eldest a boy of nine, were playing at the table--building houses on the red cloth with little wooden bricks. Mrs. Marks was a sensible woman, understanding proper management, and had taken care to bring up her children not to be troublesome. She looked about thirty, and must have been pretty once, but her face was faded now, her grey eyes had a sad look in them. The chatter at the table and the bricks fell unheeded on her ear.
"Mamma, will it soon be tea-time?"
There was no answer.
"Didn't you hear, mamma? Carry asked if it would soon be tea-time. What were you thinking about?"
She heard this time, and started out of her reverie. "Very soon now, Willy dear. Thinking? Oh, I was thinking about your papa."
Her thoughts were by no means bright ones. That her husband's health and powers were failing, she felt as sure of as though she could foresee the ending that was soon to come. How he went on and did his work was a marvel: but he could not give it up, or bread would fail.
The week's rest in the country had set Mr. Marks up for some months. Until the next autumn he worked on better than he had been able to do for some time past. And then he failed again. There was no particular failing outwardly, but he felt all too conscious that his overtaxed brain was getting worse than it had ever been. He struggled on; making no sign. That he should have to resign part of his work was an inevitable fact: he must give up the evening book-keeping to enable him to keep his more important place. "Once let me get Christmas work over," thought he, "and as soon as possible in the New Year, I will resign."
He got the Christmas work over. Very heavy it was, at both places, and nearly did for him. It is the last straw, you know, that breaks the camel's back: and that work broke James Marks. Towards the end of January he was laid up in bed with a violent cold that settled on his chest. Brown and Co. had to do without him for eleven days: a calamity that--so far as Marks was concerned--had never happened in Brown and Co.'s experience. Then he went back to the city again, feeling shaken; but the evening labour was perforce given up.
No one knew how ill he was: or, to speak more correctly, how unfit for work, how more incapable of it he was growing day by day. His wife suspected a little. She knew of his sleepless nights, the result of overtaxed nerves and brain, when he would toss and turn and get up and walk the room; and dress himself in the morning without having slept.
"There are times," he said to her in a sort of horror, "when I cannot at all collect my thoughts. I am as long again at my work as I used to be, and have to go over it again and again. There have been one or two mistakes, and old Brown asks what is coming to me. I can't help it. The figures whirl before me, and I lose my power of mind."
"If you could only sleep well!" said Mrs. Marks.
"Ay, if I could. The brain is as much at work by night as by day. There are the figures mentally before me, and there am I, adding them up."
"You should see a clever physician, James. Spare the guinea, and go. It may be more than the guinea saved."
Mr. Marks took the advice. He went to a clever doctor; explained his position, the kind of work he had to do, and described his symptoms. "Can I be cured?" he asked.
"Oh yes, I think so," said the doctor, cheerfully, without telling him that he had gone on so far as to make it rather doubtful. "The necessary treatment is very simple. Take change of scene and perfect rest."
"For how long?"
"Twelve months, at least."
"Twelve months!" repeated Marks, in a queer tone.
"At least. It is a case of absolute necessity. I will write you a prescription for a tonic. You must live _well_. You have not lived well enough for the work you have to do."
As James Marks went out into the street he could have laughed a laugh of bitter mockery. Twelve months' rest for _him_? The doctor had told him one thing--that had he taken rest in time, a very, very much shorter period would have sufficed. "I wonder how many poor men there are like myself in London at this moment," he thought, "who want this rest and cannot take it, and who ought to live better and cannot afford to do it!"
It was altogether so very hopeless that he did nothing, except take the tonic, and he continued to go to the City as usual. Some two or three weeks had elapsed since then: he of course growing worse, though there was nothing to show it outwardly: and this was the end of February, and Mrs. Marks sat thinking of it all over the fire; thinking of what she knew, and guessing at what she did not know, and her children were building houses at the table.
The servant came in with the tea-things, and took the little girl. Only one servant could be kept--and hardly that. Mrs. Marks had made her own tea and was pouring out the children's milk-and-water, when they heard a cab drive up and stop at the door. A minute after Mr. Marks entered, leaning on the arm of one of his fellow-clerks.
"Here, Mrs. Marks, I have brought you an invalid," said the latter gaily, making light of it for her sake. "He seems better now. I don't think there's much the matter with him."
Had it come? Had what she had been dreading come--that he was going to have an illness, she wondered. But she was a trump of a wife, and showed herself calm and comforting.
"You shall both of you have some tea at once," she said, cheerfully. "Willy, run and get more tea-cups."
It appeared that Mr. Marks had been, as the clerk expressed it, very queer that day; more so than usual. He could not do his work at all; had to get assistance continually from one or the other, and ended by falling off his stool to the floor, in what he called, afterwards, a "sensation of giddiness." He seemed fit for nothing, and Mr. Brown said he had better be taken home.
That day ended James Marks's work. He had broken down. At night he told his wife what the physician had said; which he had not done before. She could scarcely conceal her dismay.
A twelvemonth's rest for him! What would become of them? Failing his salary, they would have no means whatever of living.
"Oh, if my father had only acted by us as he ought!" she mentally cried. "James could have taken rest in time then, and all would have been well. Will he help us now it has come to this? Will _she_ let him?--for it is she who holds him in subjection and steels his heart against us."
Mr. Stockleigh, the father, lived at Sydenham. She, the new wife, had taken him off there from his residence in Pimlico as soon as might be after the marriage; and the daughter had never been invited inside the house. But she resolved to go there now. Saying nothing to her husband, Mrs. Marks started for Sydenham the day after he was brought home ill, and found the place without trouble.
The wife, formerly the cook, was a big brawny woman with a cheek and a tongue of her own. When Mrs. Marks was shown in, she forgot herself in the surprise; old habits prevailed, and she half dropped a curtsey.
"I wish to see papa, Mrs. Stockleigh."
"Mr. Stockleigh's out, ma'am."
"Then I must wait until he returns."
Mrs. Stockleigh did not see her way clear to turn this lady from the house, though she would have liked to do it. She made a show of hospitality, and ordered wine and cake to be put on the table. Of which wine, Mrs. Marks noticed with surprise, she drank _four_ glasses. "Now and then we used to suspect her of drinking in the kitchen!" ran through Mrs. Marks's thoughts. "Has it grown upon her?"
The garden gate opened, and Mr. Stockleigh came through it. He was so bowed and broken that his daughter scarcely knew him. She hastened out and met him in the path.
"Caroline!" he exclaimed in amazement. "Is it really you? How much you have changed?"
"I came down to speak to you, papa. May we stay and talk here in the garden?"
He seemed glad to see her, rather than not, and sat down with her on the garden bench in the sun. In a quiet voice she told him all: and asked him to help her. Mrs. Stockleigh had come out and stood listening to the treason, somewhat unsteady in her walk.
"I--I would help you if I could, Caroline," he said, in hesitation, glancing at his wife.
"Yes, but you can't, Stockleigh," she put in. "Our own expenses is as much as iver we can manage, Mrs. Marks. It's a orful cost, living out here, and our two servants is the very deuce for extravigance. I've changed 'em both ten times for others, and the last lot is always worse than the first."
"Papa, do you see our position?" resumed Mrs. Marks, after hearing the lady patiently. "It will be a long time before James is able to do anything again--if he ever is--and we have not been able to save money. What are we to do? Go to the workhouse? I have four little children."
"You know that you can't help, Stockleigh," insisted Mr. Stockleigh's lady, taking up the answer, her face growing more inflamed. "You've not got the means to do anything: and there's an end on't."
"It is true, Caroline; I'm afraid I have not," he said--and his daughter saw with pain how tremblingly subject he was to his wife. "I seem short of money always. How did you come down, my dear?"
"By the train, papa. Third class."
"Oh dear!" cried Mr. Stockleigh. "My health's broken, Caroline. It is, indeed, and my spirit too. I am sure I am very sorry for you. Will you come in and take some dinner?"
"We've got nothing but a bit of 'ashed beef," cried Mrs. Stockleigh, as if to put a damper upon the invitation. "Him and me fails in our appetites dreadful: I can't think what's come to 'em."
Mrs. Marks declined dinner: she had to get back to the children. That any sort of pleading would be useless while that woman held sway, she saw well. "Good-bye, papa," she said. "I suppose we must do the best we can alone. Good morning, Mrs. Stockleigh."
To her surprise her father kissed her; kissed her with quivering lips. "I will open the gate for you, my dear," he said, hastening on to it. As she was going through, he slipped a sovereign into her hand.
"It will pay for your journey, at least, my dear. I am sorry to hear of your travelling third class. Ah, times have changed. It is not that I won't help you, child, but that I can't. She goes up to receive the dividends, and keeps me short. I should not have had that sovereign now, but it is the change out of the spirit bill that she sent me to pay. Hush! the money goes in drink. She drinks like a fish. Ah, Caroline, I was a fool--a fool! Fare you well, my dear."
"Fare _you_ well, dear papa, and thank you," she answered, turning away with brimming eyes and an aching heart.
After resting for some days and getting no better, James Marks had to give it up as a bad job. He went to the City house, saw Mr. Brown, and told him.
"Broken down!" cried old Brown, hitching back his wig, as he always did when put out. "I never heard such nonsense. At your age! The thing's incomprehensible."
"The work has been very wearing to the brain, sir; and my application to it was close. During the three-and-twenty years I have been with you I have never had but one week's holiday: the one last spring."
"You told me then you felt like a man breaking down, as if you were good for nothing," resentfully spoke old Brown.
"Yes, sir. I told you that I believed I was breaking down for want of a rest," replied Marks. "It has proved so."
"Why, you had your rest."
"One week, sir. I said I feared it would not be of much use. But--it was not convenient for you to allow me more."
"Of course it was not convenient; you know it could not be convenient," retorted old Brown. "D'you think I keep my clerks for play, Marks? D'you suppose my business will get done of itself?"
"I was aware myself, sir, how inconvenient my absence would be, and therefore I did not press the matter. That one week's rest did me a wonderful amount of service: it enabled me to go on until now."
Old Brown looked at him. "See here, Marks--we are sorry to lose you: suppose you take another week's change now, and try what it will do. A fortnight, say. Go to the sea-side, or somewhere."
Marks shook his head. "Too late, sir. The doctors tell me it will be twelve months before I am able to work again at calculations."
"Oh, my service to you," cried Mr. Brown. "Why, what are you going to do if you cannot work?"
"That is a great deal more than I can say, sir. The thought of it is troubling my brain quite as much as work ever did. It is never out of it, night or day."
For once in his screwy life, old Brown was generous. He told Mr. Marks to draw his salary up to the day he had left, and he added ten pounds to it over and above.
* * * * *
During that visit I paid to Miss Deveen's in London, when Tod was with the Whitneys, and Helen made her first curtsey to the Queen, and we discovered the ill-doings of that syren, Mademoiselle Sophie Chalk, I saw Marks. Mrs. Todhetley had given me two or three commissions, as may be remembered: one amongst them was to call in Pimlico, and see how Marks was getting on.
Accordingly I went. We had heard nothing, you must understand, of what I have told above, and did not know but he was still in his situation. It was a showery day in April: just a twelvemonth, by the way, since his visit to us at Dyke Manor. I found the house out readily; it was near Ebury Street; and I knocked. A young lad opened the door, and asked me to walk into the parlour.
"You are Mr. Marks's son," I said, rubbing my feet on the mat: "I can tell by the likeness. What's your name?"
"William. Papa's is James."
"Yes, I know."
"He is ill," whispered the lad, with his hand on the door handle. "Mamma's downstairs, making him some arrowroot."
Well, I think you might have knocked me down with a feather when I knew him--for at first I did not. He was sitting in an easy-chair by the fire, dressed, but wrapped round with blankets: and instead of being the James Marks we had known, he was like a living skeleton, with cheek-bones and hollow eyes. But he was glad to see me, smiled, and held out his hand from the blanket.
It is uncommonly awkward for a young fellow to be taken unawares like this. You don't know what to say. I'm sure I as much thought he was dying as I ever thought anything in this world. At last I managed to stammer a word or two about being sorry to see him so ill.
"Ay," said he, in a weak, panting voice, "I am different from what I was when with your kind people, Johnny. The trouble I foresaw then has come."
"You used sometimes to feel then as though you would not long keep up," was my answer, for really I could find nothing else to say.
He nodded. "Yes, I felt that I was breaking down--that I should inevitably break down unless I could have rest. I went on until February, Johnny, and then it came. I had to give up my situation; and since then I have been dangerously ill from another source--chest and lungs."
"I did not know your lungs were weak, Mr. Marks."
"I'm sure I did not," he said, after a fit of coughing. "I had one attack in January through catching a cold. Then I caught another cold, and you see the result: the doctor hardly saved me. I never was subject to take cold before. I suppose the fact is that when a man breaks down in one way he gets weak in all, and is more liable to other ailments."
"I hope you will get better as the warm weather comes on. We shall soon have it here."
"Better of this cough, perhaps: I don't know: but not better yet of my true illness that I think most of--the overtaxed nerves and brain. Oh, if I could only have taken a sufficient rest in time!"
"Mr. Todhetley said you ought to have stayed with us for three months. He says it often still."
"I believe," he said, solemnly lifting his hand, "that if I could have had entire rest then for two or three months, it would have set me up for life. Heaven hears me say it."
And what a dreadful thing it now seemed that he had not!
"I don't repine. My lot seems a hard one, and I sometimes feel sick and weary when I dwell upon it. I have tried to do my duty: I could but keep on and work, as God knows. There was no other course open to me."
I supposed there was not.
"I am no worse off than many others, Johnny. There are men breaking down every day from incessant application and want of needful rest. Well for them if their hearts don't break with it!"
And, to judge by the tone he spoke in, it was as much as to say that his heart had broken.
"I am beginning to dwell less on it now," he went on. "Perhaps it is that I am too weak to feel so keenly. Or that Christ's words are being indeed realized to me: 'Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.' God does not forsake us in our trouble, Johnny, once we have learnt to turn to Him."
Mrs. Marks came into the room with the cup of arrowroot. The boy had run down to tell her I was there. She was very pleasant and cheerful: you could be at home with her at once. While he was waiting for the arrowroot to cool, he leant back in his chair and dropped into a doze.
"It must have been a frightful cold that he caught," I whispered to her.
"It was caught the day he went into the City to tell Mr. Brown he must give up his situation," she answered. "There's an old saying, of being penny wise and pound foolish, and that's what poor James was that day. It was a fine morning when he started; but rain set in, and when he left Mr. Brown it was pouring, and the streets were wet. He ought to have taken a cab, but did not, and waited for an omnibus. The first that passed was full; by the time another came he had got wet and his feet were soaking. That brought on a return of the illness he had had in January."
"I hope he will get well."
"It lies with God," she answered.
They made me promise to go again. "Soon, Johnny, soon," said Mr. Marks with an eagerness that was suggestive. "Come in the afternoon and have some tea with me."
I had meant to obey literally and go in a day or two; but one thing or other kept intervening, and a week or ten days passed. One Wednesday Miss Deveen was engaged to a dinner-party, and I took the opportunity to go to Pimlico. It was a stormy afternoon, blowing great guns one minute, pouring cats and dogs the next. Mrs. Marks was alone in the parlour, the tea-things on the table before her.
"We thought you had forgotten us," she said in a half-whisper, shaking hands. "But this is the best time you could have come; for a kind neighbour has invited all the children in for the evening, and we shall be quiet. James is worse."
"Worse!"
"At least, weaker. He cannot sit up long now without great fatigue. He lay down on the bed an hour ago and has dropped asleep," she added, indicating the next room. "I am waiting for him to awake before I make the tea."
He awoke then: the cough betrayed it. She went into the room, and presently he came back with her. No doubt he was worse! my heart sank at seeing him. If he had looked like a skeleton before, he was like a skeleton's ghost now.
"Ah, Johnny! I knew you would come."
I told him how it was I had not been able to come before, going into details. It seemed to amuse him to hear of the engagements, and I described Helen Whitney's Court dress as well as I could--and Lady Whitney's--and the servants' great bouquets--and the ball at night. He ate one bit of thin toast and drank three big cups of tea. Mrs. Marks said he was always thirsty.
After tea he had a violent fit of coughing and thought he must lie down to rest for a bit. Mrs. Marks came back and sat with me.
"I hope he will get well," I could not help saying to her.
She shook her head. "I fear he has not much hope of it himself," she answered. "Only yesterday I heard him tell Willy--that--that God would take care of them when he was gone."
She could hardly speak the last words, and broke down with a sob. I wished I had not said anything.
"He has great trust, but things trouble him very much," she resumed. "Nothing else can be expected, for he knows that our means are almost spent."
"It must trouble you also, Mrs. Marks."
"I seem to have so much to trouble me that I dare not dwell upon it. I pray not to, every hour of the day. If I gave way, what would become of them?"
At dark she lighted the candles and drew down the blinds. Just after that, there came a tremendous knock at the front-door, loud and long. "Naughty children," she exclaimed. "It must be they."
"I'll go; don't you stir, Mrs. Marks."
I opened the door, and a rush of wind and rain seemed to blow in an old gentleman. He never said a word to me, but went banging into the parlour and sank down on a chair out of breath.
"Papa!" exclaimed Mrs. Marks. "Papa!"
"Wait till I get up my speech, my dear," said the old gentleman. "She is gone."
"Who is gone!" cried Mrs. Marks.
"_She._ I don't want to say too much against her now she's gone, Caroline; but she _is_ gone. She had a bad fall downstairs in a tipsy fit some days ago, striking her head on the flags, and the doctors could do nothing for her. She died this morning, poor soul; and I am coming to live with you and James, if you will have me. We shall all be so comfortable together, my dear."
Perhaps Mrs. Marks remembered at once what it implied--that the pressure of poverty was suddenly lifted and she and those dear ones would be at ease for the future. She bent her head in her hands for a minute or two, keeping silence.
"Your husband shall have rest now, my dear, and all that he needs. So will you, Caroline."
It had come too late. James Marks died in May.
* * * * *
It was about three or four years afterwards that we saw the death of Mr. Brown in the _Times_. The newspapers made a flourish of trumpets over him; saying he had died worth two hundred thousand pounds.
"There must be something wrong somewhere, Johnny," remarked the Squire, in a puzzle. "_I_ should not like to die worth all that money, and know that I had worked my clerks to the bone to get it together. I wonder how he will like meeting poor Marks in the next world?"
XVIII.
REALITY OR DELUSION?
This is a ghost story. Every word of it is true. And I don't mind confessing that for ages afterwards some of us did not care to pass the spot alone at night. Some people do not care to pass it yet.
It was autumn, and we were at Crabb Cot. Lena had been ailing; and in October Mrs. Todhetley proposed to the Squire that they should remove with her there, to see if the change would do her good.
We Worcestershire people call North Crabb a village; but one might count the houses in it, little and great, and not find four-and-twenty. South Crabb, half a mile off, is ever so much larger; but the church and school are at North Crabb.
John Ferrar had been employed by Squire Todhetley as a sort of overlooker on the estate, or working bailiff. He had died the previous winter; leaving nothing behind him except some debts; for he was not provident; and his handsome son Daniel. Daniel Ferrar, who was rather superior as far as education went, disliked work: he would make a show of helping his father, but it came to little. Old Ferrar had not put him to any particular trade or occupation, and Daniel, who was as proud as Lucifer, would not turn to it himself. He liked to be a gentleman. All he did now was to work in his garden, and feed his fowls, ducks, rabbits, and pigeons, of which he kept a great quantity, selling them to the houses around and sending them to market.
But, as every one said, poultry would not maintain him. Mrs. Lease, in the pretty cottage hard by Ferrar's, grew tired of saying it. This Mrs. Lease and her daughter, Maria, must not be confounded with Lease the pointsman: they were in a better condition of life, and not related to him. Daniel Ferrar used to run in and out of their house at will when a boy, and he was now engaged to be married to Maria. She would have a little money, and the Leases were respected in North Crabb. People began to whisper a query as to how Ferrar got his corn for the poultry: he was not known to buy much; and he would have to go out of his house at Christmas, for its owner, Mr. Coney, had given him notice. Mrs. Lease, anxious about Maria's prospects, asked Daniel what he intended to do then, and he answered, "Make his fortune: he should begin to do it as soon as he could turn himself round." But the time was going on, and the turning round seemed to be as far off as ever.
After Midsummer, a niece of the schoolmistress's, Miss Timmens, had come to the school to stay: her name was Harriet Roe. The father, Humphrey Roe, was half-brother to Miss Timmens. He had married a Frenchwoman, and lived more in France than in England until his death. The girl had been christened Henriette; but North Crabb, not understanding much French, converted it into Harriet. She was a showy, free-mannered, good-looking girl, and made speedy acquaintance with Daniel Ferrar; or he with her. They improved upon it so rapidly that Maria Lease grew jealous, and North Crabb began to say he cared for Harriet more than for Maria. When Tod and I got home the latter end of October, to spend the Squire's birthday, things were in this state. James Hill, the bailiff who had been taken on by the Squire in John Ferrar's place (but a far inferior man to Ferrar; not much better, in fact, than a common workman, and of whose doings you will hear soon in regard to his little step-son, David Garth) gave us an account of matters in general. Daniel Ferrar had been drinking lately, Hill added, and his head was not strong enough to stand it; and he was also beginning to look as if he had some care upon him.
"A nice lot, he, for them two women to be fighting for," cried Hill, who was no friend to Ferrar. "There'll be mischief between 'em if they don't draw in a bit. Maria Lease is next door to mad over it, I know; and t'other, finding herself the best liked, crows over her. It's something like the Bible story of Leah and Rachel, young gents, Dan Ferrar likes the one, and he's bound by promise to the t'other. As to the French jade," concluded Hill, giving his head a toss, "she'd make a show of liking any man that followed her, she would; a dozen of 'em on a string."
It was all very well for surly Hill to call Daniel Ferrar a "nice lot," but he was the best-looking fellow in church on Sunday morning--well-dressed too. But his colour seemed brighter; and his hands shook as they were raised, often, to push back his hair, that the sun shone upon through the south-window, turning it to gold. He scarcely looked up, not even at Harriet Roe, with her dark eyes roving everywhere, and her streaming pink ribbons. Maria Lease was pale, quiet, and nice, as usual; she had no beauty, but her face was sensible, and her deep grey eyes had a strange and curious earnestness. The new parson preached, a young man just appointed to the parish of Crabb. He went in for great observances of Saints' days, and told his congregation that he should expect to see them at church on the morrow, which would be the Feast of All Saints.
Daniel Ferrar walked home with Mrs. Lease and Maria after service, and was invited to dinner. I ran across to shake hands with the old dame, who had once nursed me through an illness, and promised to look in and see her later. We were going back to school on the morrow. As I turned away, Harriet Roe passed, her pink ribbons and her cheap gay silk dress gleaming in the sunlight. She stared at me, and I stared back again. And now, the explanation of matters being over, the real story begins. But I shall have to tell some of it as it was told by others.
The tea-things waited on Mrs. Lease's table in the afternoon; waited for Daniel Ferrar. He had left them shortly before to go and attend to his poultry. Nothing had been said about his coming back for tea: that he would do so had been looked upon as a matter of course. But he did not make his appearance, and the tea was taken without him. At half-past five the church-bell rang out for evening service, and Maria put her things on. Mrs. Lease did not go out at night.
"You are starting early, Maria. You'll be in church before other people."
"That won't matter, mother."
A jealous suspicion lay on Maria--that the secret of Daniel Ferrar's absence was his having fallen in with Harriet Roe: perhaps had gone of his own accord to seek her. She walked slowly along. The gloom of dusk, and a deep dusk, had stolen over the evening, but the moon would be up later. As Maria passed the school-house, she halted to glance in at the little sitting-room window: the shutters were not closed yet, and the room was lighted by the blazing fire. Harriet was not there. She only saw Miss Timmens, the mistress, who was putting on her bonnet before a hand-glass propped upright on the mantel-piece. Without warning, Miss Timmens turned and threw open the window. It was only for the purpose of pulling-to the shutters, but Maria thought she must have been observed, and spoke.
"Good evening, Miss Timmens."
"Who is it?" cried out Miss Timmens, in answer, peering into the dusk. "Oh, it's you, Maria Lease! Have you seen anything of Harriet? She went off somewhere this afternoon, and never came in to tea."
"I have not seen her."
"She's gone to the Batleys', I'll be bound. She knows I don't like her to be with the Batley girls: they make her ten times flightier than she would otherwise be."
Miss Timmens drew in her shutters with a jerk, without which they would not close, and Maria Lease turned away.
"Not at the Batleys', not at the Batleys', but with _him_," she cried, in bitter rebellion, as she turned away from the church. From the church, not to it. Was Maria to blame for wishing to see whether she was right or not?--for walking about a little in the thought of meeting them? At any rate it is what she did. And had her reward; such as it was.
As she was passing the top of the withy walk, their voices reached her ear. People often walked there, and it was one of the ways to South Crabb. Maria drew back amidst the trees, and they came on: Harriet Roe and Daniel Ferrar, walking arm-in-arm.
"I think I had better take it off," Harriet was saying. "No need to invoke a storm upon my head. And that would come in a shower of hail from stiff old Aunt Timmens."
The answer seemed one of quick accent, but Ferrar spoke low. Maria Lease had hard work to control herself: anger, passion, jealousy, all blazed up. With her arms stretched out to a friendly tree on either side,--with her heart beating,--with her pulses coursing on to fever-heat, she watched them across the bit of common to the road. Harriet went one way then; he another, in the direction of Mrs. Lease's cottage. No doubt to fetch her--Maria--to church, with a plausible excuse of having been detained. Until now she had had no proof of his falseness; had never perfectly believed in it.
She took her arms from the trees and went forward, a sharp faint cry of despair breaking forth on the night air. Maria Lease was one of those silent-natured girls who can never speak of a wrong like this. She had to bury it within her; down, down, out of sight and show; and she went into church with her usual quiet step. Harriet Roe with Miss Timmens came next, quite demure, as if she had been singing some of the infant scholars to sleep at their own homes. Daniel Ferrar did not go to church at all: he stayed, as was found afterwards, with Mrs. Lease.
Maria might as well have been at home as at church: better perhaps that she had been. Not a syllable of the service did she hear: her brain was a sea of confusion; the tumult within it rising higher and higher. She did not hear even the text, "Peace, be still," or the sermon; both so singularly appropriate. The passions in men's minds, the preacher said, raged and foamed just like the angry waves of the sea in a storm, until Jesus came to still them.
I ran after Maria when church was over, and went in to pay the promised visit to old Mother Lease. Daniel Ferrar was sitting in the parlour. He got up and offered Maria a chair at the fire, but she turned her back and stood at the table under the window, taking off her gloves. An open Bible was before Mrs. Lease: I wondered whether she had been reading aloud to Daniel.
"What was the text, child?" asked the old lady.
No answer.
"Do you hear, Maria! What was the text?"
Maria turned at that, as if suddenly awakened. Her face was white; her eyes had in them an uncertain terror.
"The text?" she stammered. "I--I forget it, mother. It was from Genesis, I think."
"Was it, Master Johnny?"
"It was from the fourth chapter of St. Mark, 'Peace, be still.'"
Mrs. Lease stared at me. "Why, that is the very chapter I've been reading. Well now, that's curious. But there's never a better in the Bible, and never a better text was taken from it than those three words. I have been telling Daniel here, Master Johnny, that when once that peace, Christ's peace, is got into the heart, storms can't hurt us much. And you are going away again to-morrow, sir?" she added, after a pause. "It's a short stay?"
I was not going away on the morrow. Tod and I, taking the Squire in a genial moment after dinner, had pressed to be let stay until Tuesday, Tod using the argument, and laughing while he did it, that it must be wrong to travel on All Saints' Day, when the parson had specially enjoined us to be at church. The Squire told us we were a couple of encroaching rascals, and if he did let us stay it should be upon condition that we did go to church. This I said to them.
"He may send you all the same, sir, when the morning comes," remarked Daniel Ferrar.
"Knowing Mr. Todhetley as you do Ferrar, you may remember that he never breaks his promises."
Daniel laughed. "He grumbles over them, though, Master Johnny."
"Well, he may grumble to-morrow about our staying, say it is wasting time that ought to be spent in study, but he will not send us back until Tuesday."
Until Tuesday! If I could have foreseen then what would have happened before Tuesday! If all of us could have foreseen! Seen the few hours between now and then depicted, as in a mirror, event by event! Would it have saved the calamity, the dreadful sin that could never be redeemed? Why, yes; surely it would. Daniel Ferrar turned and looked at Maria.
"Why don't you come to the fire?"
"I am very well here, thank you."
She had sat down where she was, her bonnet touching the curtain. Mrs. Lease, not noticing that anything was wrong, had begun talking about Lena, whose illness was turning to low fever, when the house door opened and Harriet Roe came in.
"What a lovely night it is!" she said, taking of her own accord the chair I had not cared to take, for I kept saying I must go. "Maria, what went with you after church? I hunted for you everywhere."
Maria gave no answer. She looked black and angry; and her bosom heaved as if a storm were brewing. Harriet Roe slightly laughed.
"Do you intend to take holiday to-morrow, Mrs. Lease?"
"Me take holiday! what is there in to-morrow to take holiday for?" returned Mrs. Lease.
"I shall," continued Harriet, not answering the question: "I have been used to it in France. All Saints' Day is a grand holiday there; we go to church in our best clothes, and pay visits afterwards. Following it, like a dark shadow, comes the gloomy Jour des Morts."
"The what?" cried Mrs. Lease, bending her ear.
"The day of the dead. All Souls' Day. But you English don't go to the cemeteries to pray."
Mrs. Lease put on her spectacles, which lay upon the open pages of the Bible, and stared at Harriet. Perhaps she thought they might help her to understand. The girl laughed.
"On All Souls' Day, whether it be wet or dry, the French cemeteries are full of kneeling women draped in black; all praying for the repose of their dead relatives, after the manner of the Roman Catholics."
Daniel Ferrar, who had not spoken a word since she came in, but sat with his face to the fire, turned and looked at her. Upon which she tossed back her head and her pink ribbons, and smiled till all her teeth were seen. Good teeth they were. As to reverence in her tone, there was none.
"I have seen them kneeling when the slosh and wet have been ankle-deep. Did you ever see a ghost?" added she, with energy. "The French believe that the spirits of the dead come abroad on the night of All Saints' Day. You'd scarcely get a French woman to go out of her house after dark. It is their chief superstition."
"What _is_ the superstition?" questioned Mrs. Lease.
"Why, _that_," said Harriet. "They believe that the dead are allowed to revisit the world after dark on the Eve of All Souls; that they hover in the air, waiting to appear to any of their living relatives, who may venture out, lest they should forget to pray on the morrow for the rest of their souls."[2]
[2] A superstition obtaining amongst some of the lower orders
in France.
"Well, I never!" cried Mrs. Lease, staring excessively. "Did you ever hear the like of that, sir?" turning to me.
"Yes; I have heard of it."
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Johnny Ludlow, First SeriesChapter XV: Part 15
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