Chapter I: Wonder

I wonder if those horrid patches
Upon my trousers white
Would show as much if they were not
As black as black as night?

READY FOR THE PARTY

Mew! mew! mew! mew!

Come, mother, come quickly!

We are all ready and waiting to start.

Yes, we are all here.

There are one, two, three, four of us.

The carriage is pretty small, but we think we can all get in.

We will be good this time and not push each other out.

But please do come quickly, mother.

It is hard to sit so still.

Mew! mew! mew! mew!

A FULL CART

We are three little cats in a cart
And one underneath on the floor,
The cart is so full we hardly see how
There’ll be any room for more.

TIME TO START

Dear me! my kittens are in such a hurry! They give me no time to dress.

It takes a very long time to shine my fur and to fix my bonnet.

It is a new bonnet. This is the first time I have worn it. I hope it looks all right.

I must practice sitting up straight and proper just for a minute. I want the Queen to know that I am a fine lady.

I hope my kittens will not rough up their fur. If they do I shall have to shine it all over again.

Now we must start.

Where is their father?

IS MY HAT ON STRAIGHT

Here I am. Yes, I am the father of those four fine kittens.

They are such beautiful kittens their mother does not even tie ribbons around their necks.

I am glad of that, for I do not like ribbons.

I must go now and take them all to the Queen’s palace. I am sure they will be the handsomest kittens there.

I suppose I shall have to push their carriage.

Come, mother, let us be off. Are my whiskers stiff? Is my hat on straight?

HIDING

Don’t tell anybody where I am.

I am hiding away from mother.

She wants me to go to the Queen’s party and I don’t want to go.

I don’t like the Queen, she is so grand and dignified.

She frightens me.

I would rather hide in this pitcher all day than go to the Queen’s palace.

Please don’t tell where I am.

You will not, will you?

AN INVITATION

I’ve had an invitation
To go to see the Queen,
But I’m a bashful kitten
And I’d rather not be seen.

NO PARTY FOR ME

How strange it is that some of us _want_ to go to the party, and some _do not_ want to go. Some of us _can_ go, and some _cannot_ go.

I am one who _wants_ to go, and I am one who _cannot_ go.

I have a sick head. It aches. Perhaps I caught too many mice last night.

The doctor has been here. He told me to take this medicine every half-hour.

How I wish I could go to the party!

They surely will have something good to eat there, but I must stay at home and take my medicine.

I’M OFF

I’m off for the Queen’s palace.

I’m the only cat in our country who has an automobile.

But I suppose all the fine cats will be having them soon.

It is really great fun to ride faster than any cat or kitten can run.

I would invite you to ride too, but there is room for only one.

So, good-bye!

I’m off for the Queen’s party.

BEING WEIGHED

Yes, I am being weighed.

It frightens me to hang in the air like this.

What if I should fall, with my feet tied up in this bag!

I am sure I should be killed!

Can you see how much I weigh?

Nearly two pounds?

You don’t mean it!

Then I am big enough to go to the party all alone, though I am not sure that I want to go.

I think I had rather stay at home and play.

THE PARTY

Attention, kittens and cats! The clock strikes one. The Queen’s party has begun.

I am the Commanding Officer of the palace. Attention to what I have to say!

Our Queen bids you welcome.

She waits for you in her throne room.

As you each pass in you must salute her and recite for her a cat tale, a rat tale, or some other tale, long or short, true or not.

But no fears or tears, for our Queen has a fine dinner in her grand dining-room for all brave kittens and cats.

Now who has the best tale?

THE COMMANDING OFFICER

I’m an officer of the Queen;
I’m proud as proud can be,
For I’ve a feather in my cap,
As any one can see.

THE LATEST NEWS

We are here to bring great news, O Queen!

We are here to bring great news!

Do you know—!

Do you know—!

Do you know a balloon
Has gone up to the moon!
The moon has been found
By a great, big balloon.
‘Up in a balloon, boys,
Sailing round the moon, boys.’
Just think of that!
Hurrah for the balloon!
Hurrah for the big moon!

WHAT IS IT

What’s the news of the day,
Good neighbor, I pray?

They say a balloon
Has gone up to the moon.

I’LL SING YOU A SONG

I am a famous singer among kittens and cats. I sing in the kitten choir and in big concerts.

I wear a French bonnet when I sing.

My voice is very soft and very sweet.

I have come here to-day to sing for my Queen.

Purr-r, purr-r, purr-r!
I’ll sing _you_ a song.
Though not very long,
Yet I think it is as pretty as any.
Put your hand in your purse,
You’ll never be worse,
And give the sweet singer a penny.

A TALE OF A MOUSE

Listen, O Queen, to this tale of a mouse!

‘Hickory, dickory, dock,
The mouse ran up the clock;
The clock struck one,
And down he run,
Hickory, dickory, dock.’

And we gobbled him up.

So, dear Queen, no mouse shall trouble your party while we two brave cats are here.

WE ARE THE CATS

Oh! we are the cats that caught the mouse.
That ran up the clock so fast.
The clock struck one, and down he run,
And we gobbled him up at last.

A NURSE’S TALE

I’m the nurse who takes care of kittens and cats when they are sick.

Sometimes they eat too much and have the stomach-ache.

Sometimes they fall down stairs and bump their heads.

Sometimes they get their tails bitten by bad dogs.

Then their mothers send for me and I take care of them until they are well.

I always wear a white dress and a white bonnet.

If you ever get sick just send for me and I will take care of you.

A FAMOUS MOUSER

I am a famous mouser. I have caught more mice than any other cat.

I can see them afar off.

I can hear them afar off.

I can scent them afar off.

They are all afraid of me.

They scurry away whenever they see me coming.

I wear soft pads on the bottom of my feet so they cannot hear me.

I keep my teeth white and sharp.

My friends call me ‘the Mouse Trap.’

But I know a Kitty who is not a good mouser. I will tell you about her.

This is my story:—

A LONG TIME AGO

Once there was a little Kitty,
White as the snow;
In the barn she used to frolic,
Long time ago.

In the barn a little Mousie,
Ran to and fro;
For she heard the Kitty coming,
Long time ago.

Nine pearl teeth had little Kitty,
All in a row;
And they bit the little Mousie,
Long time ago.

When the teeth bit little Mousie,
Mousie cried, Oh!
But she got away from Kitty,
Long time ago.

No mouse ever slipped through my paws like that, I am glad to say.

I am a great mouser.

Yes, I am a famous mouser, O Queen!

A DUNCE’S TALE

The other day in school I couldn’t do my sums.

I couldn’t tell how many two and two make.

I couldn’t read my lesson.

I couldn’t say my A B C’s.

I couldn’t sing my song.

So the teacher made me stand on a stool. Then she put this cap on my head.

I have had to wear it ever since.

After this I am going to study hard.

I don’t like to be called a dunce.

I don’t like to sit on a stool.

Would you?

A TALE OF THREE KITTENS

We will tell you a tale of ourselves, dear Queen. A tale of three little kittens.

‘Three little Kittens lost their mittens,
And they began to cry,
“O mother dear,
We very much fear
That we have lost our mittens.”

‘“Lost your mittens!
You naughty Kittens!
Then you shall have no pie.”
“Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow!”
“No, you shall have no pie.”
“Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow!”

The three little Kittens found their mittens,
And they began to cry,
“O mother dear,
See here, see here,
See! we have found our mittens.”

‘“Put on your mittens,
You silly Kittens,
And you may have some pie.”
“Purr-r, purr-r, purr-r,
Oh, let us have the pie!
Purr-r, purr-r, purr-r.”’

THE KITTENS THREE

Did you ever see the kittens three
That lost their mittens so red?
They hopped in chairs and looked about,
And ‘mee-ow’ and ‘mee-ow,’ they said.

A RAINY-DAY TALE

One day it rained and we could not go out of doors.

So my brothers and sisters and I played Hide and Seek in the attic.

All of a sudden one of my brothers said, ‘I’ll tell you what let’s do!’

‘What’s that?’ we all asked together.

‘Let’s dress up! It’s lots of fun.’

So we ran to the closet where father and mother keep their Sunday clothes.

I put on father’s trousers, and now I wear them every day.

My brothers and sisters laugh at me.

But I think I look fine, don’t you!

A TALE OF LONDON TOWN

If you should say:—
‘Pussy-cat, pussy-cat,
Where have you been?’
I should say:—
‘I’ve been to London
To look at the Queen.’
If you should say:—
‘Pussy-cat, pussy-cat,
What did you there?’
Then I should say:—
‘I frightened a little mouse
From under her chair.’
And she gave me these fine clothes.

A TALE I KNOW

Hey! diddle, diddle,
The cat and the fiddle.
The cow jumped over the moon;
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
While the dish ran after the spoon.
I _know_, for I was the cat with the fiddle.
I saw the cow jump over the moon.
I heard the little dog laugh.
I saw the dish run away with the spoon.
Poor spoon!
I saw the whole of the fun.
Hey! diddle, diddle,
The cat and the fiddle!

A TALE OF ST. IVES

Listen, O Queen! to my wonderful tale.

‘As I was going to St. Ives,
I met a man with seven wives
Every wife had seven sacks,
Every sack had seven cats,
Every cat had seven kits:
Kits, cats, sacks, and wives,
How many were there going to St. Ives?’

I have thought and counted, and counted and thought, but I cannot tell how many were going to St. Ives.

Can you help me, wise Queen?

A LITTLE FAIRY’S TALE

I am called Little Fairy.

Would you know that I am _only_ a kitten, dear Queen?

Even the mice do not know it, for they play with me and we have fine frolics together.

One day a little mouse told me just where to find his house.

If he had known that I was a real, live kitten, I am sure he never would have told me.

Would you like to know where the little mouse lives? A friend was with me and she will tell you. Listen!

A SECRET

Yes, listen to my wonderful secret!

I asked the mouse,
‘Where is your house?’
The mouse then said to me,
‘Tell not the cat
And I’ll tell thee.
Up stairs and down stairs,
Then straight ahead;
To the right, to the left,
Then bend down your head;
For there is my house
With the door so small,
That even a mouse
Can’t go in if he’s tall.’

WHO WAS HE

I have a strange tale, O Queen.

The other day I found a round glass.

An old man was looking into the glass, so I looked in, and guess what I saw.

I saw a cat looking straight at me.

His face was white just like mine.

His eyes had black spots in them just like mine, and his whiskers were long just like mine.

When I said ‘Mew!’ he said ‘Mew!’

When I moved my paw, he moved his paw.

When I ran away, he ran away too, so I never have found out who he was.

A STRANGER

I’ve met the cat that lives behind
The looking glass, you see.
He’s very handsome, and he looks
For all the world like me.

A SAD TALE

Ding, dong, bell!
My pretty pussy is drowned, is drowned!
Ding, dong, bell!
Pussy’s in the well.
Who put her in?
Little Tommy Lin.
Who pulled her out?
Great Johnny Stout.
What a naughty boy was that,
To drown the poor, poor pussy-cat,
Who never did him any harm,
But killed the mice in his father’s barn.
Ding, dong, bell!
I am sad, so sad, dear Queen!

MY OWN TALE

Pussy-cat Mew jumped over a coal,
And in her best petticoat burnt a great hole.

Poor Pussy’s weeping, she’ll have no more milk
Until her best petticoat’s mended with silk.

Mew! mew! mew!
I am Pussy-cat Mew.

THREE TALES

I am the cat, that caught the rat,
That ate the malt,
That lay in the house that Jack built.

I am the dog, that worried the cat,
That caught the rat,
That ate the malt,
That lay in the house that Jack built.

I am the kitten all forlorn,
That scratched the dog,
That worried the cat,
That caught the rat,
That ate the malt,
That lay in the house that Jack built.

A SIGHT TO SEE

The cat and the dog and the kitten
Were as brave as brave could be,
But when they came to visit the Queen,
Why, they were a sight to see!

A ’FRAID-CAT’S TALE

Once I was a ’fraid-cat, dear Queen.

All the kittens and cats laughed at me and sang this song about me.

_C_ was a cat who ran after a rat,
But her courage did fail
When he seized on her tail.
Now what do you think that cat did do?
She jumped in a chair and cried,
Mew! mew!

_I_ was the cat who ran after the rat,
But my courage did fail
When he seized on my tail.
Mew! mew!

FROM THE NORTH POLE

I came from the land of the snow, from the land of the Eskimo, where the summer is all day and the winter is all night.

We dress in fur coats up there.

It’s cold, so cold one can hardly wink.

But I am proud of my land, for the North Pole is there.

The dogs have seen it. They tell us so.

And what the dogs say is true, you know.

THE TWINS

We are twin kittens.

There are two of us, and we look just alike.

Our brothers and sisters cannot tell us apart.

Even our mother cannot tell us apart.

When one of us says “Mew!” the other says “Mew!”

When one is hungry, the other is hungry.

When one is sleepy, the other is sleepy.

We are afraid, dear Queen, that we are beginning to be sleepy right now.

We have had such fun at your party!

DO WE LOOK ALIKE

We look alike and dress alike,
And act alike, they say,
And that is why we’re called the Twins
By good old Granny Gray.

WHAT SHALL WE SING

We are twins too, and they say we look alike.

We are so hungry just now we simply cannot tell you a tale.

But we will sing you a song,—if we can think of one.

Hey ding a ding, what shall we sing?
How many holes in a skimmer?
Four and twenty,—we’re feeling quite empty;
Dear Queen, give us some dinner.
Hey ding a ding, what shall we sing?
Dear Queen, give us some dinner.

WAITING

We’ve washed our paws and noses red;
We think we look quite neat;
We’ve donned our bibs, and now we beg
For something good to eat.

DING, DONG, BELL

Ding, dong, bell!

We have something to tell!

All you kittens and cats who have told tales of rats, or of mice, or of cats, and have made our Queen laugh, listen!

The Queen bids you come to the grand dining-room. There a dinner she spreads which may quite turn your heads.

Heed what we say and we’ll show you the way.

Ding, dong, bell!

THE DINING-ROOM

Oh my! What a fine dining-room, and how many tables there are!

Each cat has a table all to himself. I wonder why.

There is the Queen sitting at the end of the room.

She is looking straight at me.

Oh dear! What if I should spill my milk on this white cloth!

What would the Queen say to me!

I am almost afraid to drink it.

It is so hard to drink out of china cups. But I must try.