Chapter III: Letter II

The vessel sent to Nancauwery did not arrive till 1781, and brought a very small portion of provisions for our use, and neither wine, nor any other liquors whatever, the crew having expended the greater part of what was destined for us on their long voyage, and during a detention of four months at Queda, on the Malay coast. We were, however, happy to receive Brother Steinman, who was young, lively, and every way qualified for the service, so that we promised ourselves much assistance from him; but in less than a month after his arrival, it pleased the Lord to take him from us by death. You may suppose what we felt on being again left alone, in want of even the most necessary articles of subsistence. But the Lord yet helped us, gave us from day to day our daily bread, and in many heavy illnesses approved Himself as our best physician. Oh! how many thousand tears have I shed during that period of distress and trouble. I will not affirm that they were _all_ of that kind, which I might, with David, pray the Lord "to put into his bottle," and ask, "are they not in thy book," for I was not yet fully acquainted with the ways of God with His people, and had not yet a heart wholly resigned to all His dealings. Oftentimes self-will, unbelief, and repining at our hard lot, was mixed with our complaints and cries unto Him. Do not therefore think them so very pure, and deserving of pity as they may seem. Thus much, however, I can truly say, that amidst it all, our Saviour was the object of our hearts' desire; and He beheld us with longsuffering and compassion.

We were as diligent as our wretched circumstances would admit, in clearing land and planting, to obtain what we wanted for our support; and having only three negroes to cook, wash, and do other jobs, we frequently laboured beyond our strength, and brought upon ourselves various illnesses. But there seemed no help for it. At the same time we exerted ourselves to learn the Nicobar language, and in the best manner possible endeavoured to explain to the poor natives, the love of God in Christ Jesus, and the way of salvation through a crucified Saviour.

Not till 1783, had we the satisfaction to see the Brethren J. Heinrich, Fleckner, and Raabs arrive to our assistance, in company of the mate of the vessel, with which they set sail from Tranquebar. While they were lying in the roads of Junkceylon, a French privateer came and claimed her as lawful prize, because, on searching her, he found a few old English newspapers in a trunk belonging to Mr. Wilson, an English gentleman on board, who had escaped from Hyder Ali's prison. This was pretence sufficient for a Frenchman to seize upon a neutral Danish vessel, nor could any redress be ever procured, to the great loss of the Mission. After long and vexatious detention, the mate and the three Brethren purchased a Malay prow, for 75 dollars, and stole off in the night; as the Malay prince would not suffer them to go. Thus we received, instead of our expected stock of provisions, only more mouths to feed. However, we rejoiced to see our dear fellow-missionaries, and did what we could for their relief. As the prow was unfit to go to sea without proper sails, those with which they arrived being nothing but old, rotten mats, we worked up our whole stock of linen and sailcloth, and even some of our sheets, and were ten days employed in making sails, and fitting her for the voyage. A black sailor was also procured, and the mate, with the Brethren Raabs and Heyne, left us for Tranquebar. I cannot describe my feelings, when I took a final leave of my dear Brother Heyne, with whom I had so long shared weal and woe, lived in true brotherly love and union of spirit, and enjoyed so much of our Lord's help and comfort, in days of perplexity and distress.

The three following years of my stay were spent in fruitless attempts to preach the gospel to the natives, and the arrangements proposed and made by the new-comers, seemed all to fail. But I cannot help observing, that when we speak of the total failure of our endeavours to promote the conversion of the natives, we have cause, in a great degree, to blame ourselves. For my part, I must confess with humble shame, that I soon lost my faith and courage, brotherly love having ceased to prevail amongst us; for how can Missionaries speak, with effect, of the love of Jesus, and its fruits in the heart, when they themselves do not live in the enjoyment of it? It is true, our trials were great, and the prospect, in many respects, most gloomy; but we have seen in other instances, what the Lord can do, by removing obstacles, and giving strength to His servants, if they are one in spirit, pray and live together in unity, and prefer each other in love. This was too much wanting during the latter part of our abode in the Nicobar islands, and O that all Missionaries would remember, that brotherly love is the most precious jewel in a Mission; and that no sacrifice of one's own opinions and schemes is too great, to maintain it unbroken.

Our external situation became more and more irksome, and we could scarcely procure the means of subsistence. My health had suffered so much by continual sickness, anxiety, and hard labour, (for the greater part of the management of affairs fell upon me), that I was apparently fast approaching my end; at the thoughts of which I rejoiced greatly, delivered my accounts, and all my concerns, into the hands of Brother J. Heinrich, looking forward with longing to be at rest with Jesus. I felt his comfort, pardon, and peace in my soul, and hoped, that every day would be my last. I had running sores on my legs, and a total obstruction, with tormenting pains in my bowels, and expected that mortification would soon take place, and put an end to my misery. Unexpectedly, a Danish vessel arrived in our harbour, on board of which was Brother Sixtus. He was commissioned to examine into the state of the Mission, and to bring home such as were still alive.

A voyage seeming to offer the only hope for my recovery. I was conveyed on board, apparently in a dying state, and set sail the same day for Queda. During the voyage, the pain in my bowels was excruciating, and the motion of the ship afforded me no relief, insomuch, that I could bear no other posture than lying prostrate on deck. In this situation it occurred to me, that I had once read in Van Swieten's account of his cures, that he had found the plentiful use of honey beneficial in cases of obstruction. As soon, therefore, as we landed, I procured a sufficient quantity, and mixed it plentifully with my food and drink. My only nutriment indeed consisted of rice boiled in water, to which I added an equal quantity of honey, as also to all the water I drank, cold or warm, of which I took plenty, having a constant thirst upon me. Already, on the first day, it operated by sickness at my stomach, and frequent vomitings, which rendered its taste extremely nauseous, and unpleasant. But perceiving that it also relieved my principal complaint, I persevered, and experienced daily more of its salutary, cooling, and healing effects. As there is plenty of honey at Queda, I laid in a large stock for the voyage.

Here I became acquainted with Mr. Scott, an English captain, who informed me that Captain Light was in Bengal, and had lost his wife by death. From hence we returned to Nancauwery, where I found that Brother Sixtus had departed this life, ten days after my leaving the island. Brother J. Heinrich accompanied me to Tranquebar, and Fleckner remained alone.

When we arrived at Tranquebar, we represented to the governor, that it was necessary, that the vessel should immediately return for the relief of the Mission, to which he agreed; and Fleckner being re-called, the Brethren J. Heinrich, Rudolphi, and Soerensen, were sent thither in May 1785. The latter soon departed this life, as likewise Fleckner, at Tranquebar. In September, I returned to Nancauwery, being commissioned to convey the house belonging to the Imperial settlement on Sombrero (Comarty) to our place, which I accomplished. Our old stone house was turned into a magazine, and the Missionaries obtained a comfortable dwelling, and a sufficient supply of provisions, and other necessaries. But as to any success in making the natives acquainted with the gospel, all our exertions seemed in vain.

After my return to Tranquebar, in 1786, Brother Rudolphi left Nicobar, and arrived, after a long and tedious voyage, at Tranquebar, in 1787. Not long after, Brother J. Heinrich departed this life, and Brother Kragh remained alone.

The loss of so many valuable men, the total failure of the object of the Mission, and the want of proper Brethren, willing to devote themselves to so hopeless a cause, at length prevailed, and it was resolved to give up the Mission. I was again deputed to go to Nancauwery, to fetch Brother Kragh, and all effects belonging to the Mission, and to deliver up the premises to the Governor, who, on our representation of the impracticability of our supporting the Mission any longer, had consented to send a lieutenant, a corporal, and six privates, to take possession. I accompanied these people, and delivered to them every thing I could not carry away.

Words cannot express the painful sensations which crowded into my mind, while I was thus executing the task committed to me, and making a final conclusion of the labours of the Brethren in the Nicobar Islands. I remembered the numberless prayers, tears, and sighs offered up by so many servants of Jesus, and by our congregations in Europe, for the conversion of the poor heathen here; and when I beheld our burying-ground, where eleven of my Brethren had their resting-place, as seed sown in a barren land, I burst into tears, and exclaimed: Surely all this cannot have been done in vain! Often did I visit this place, and sat down and wept at their graves.

My last farewell with the inhabitants, who had flocked to me from all the circumjacent islands, was very affecting. They wept and howled for grief, and begged that the Brethren might soon return to them. We always enjoyed their esteem and love, and they do not deserve to be classed with their ferocious neighbours, the Malays; being, in general, kind and gentle in their dispositions, except when roused by jealously, or other provocations; when their uncontrolled passions will lead them into excesses, as some of the Danish soldiers experienced. We always found them ready to serve us.