Chapter LXXVI: Letter 469: To Mr. Sheppard

"Pisa, December 8. 1821.

"Sir,

"I have received your letter. I need not say, that the extract
which it contains has affected me, because it would imply a want of
all feeling to have read it with indifference. Though I am not
quite _sure_ that it was intended by the writer for _me_, yet the
date, the place where it was written, with some other circumstances
that you mention, render the allusion probable. But for whomever it
was meant, I have read it with all the pleasure which can arise
from so melancholy a topic. I say _pleasure_--because your brief
and simple picture of the life and demeanour of the excellent
person whom I trust you will again meet, cannot be contemplated
without the admiration due to her virtues, and her pure and
unpretending piety. Her last moments were particularly striking;
and I do not know that, in the course of reading the story of
mankind, and still less in my observations upon the existing
portion, I ever met with any thing so unostentatiously beautiful.
Indisputably, the firm believers in the Gospel have a great
advantage over all others,--for this simple reason, that, if true,
they will have their reward hereafter; and if there be no
hereafter, they can be but with the infidel in his eternal sleep,
having had the assistance of an exalted hope, through life, without
subsequent disappointment, since (at the worst for them) 'out of
nothing, nothing can arise, not even sorrow. But a man's creed does
not depend upon _himself_: _who_ can say, I _will_ believe this,
that, or the other? and least of all, that which he least can
comprehend. I have, however, observed, that those who have begun
life with extreme faith, have in the end greatly narrowed it, as
Chillingworth, Clarke (who ended as an Arian), Bayle, and Gibbon
(once a Catholic), and some others; while, on the other hand,
nothing is more common than for the early sceptic to end in a firm
belief, like Maupertuis, and Henry Kirke White.

"But my business is to acknowledge your letter, and not to make a
dissertation. I am obliged to you for your good wishes, and more
than obliged by the extract from the papers of the beloved object
whose qualities you have so well described in a few words. I can
assure you that all the fame which ever cheated humanity into
higher notions of its own importance would never weigh in my mind
against the pure and pious interest which a virtuous being may be
pleased to take in my welfare. In this point of view, I would not
exchange the prayer of the deceased in my behalf for the united
glory of Homer, Cæsar, and Napoleon, could such be accumulated upon
a living head. Do me at least the justice to suppose, that

"'Video meliora proboque,'

however the 'deteriora sequor' may have been applied to my conduct.

"I have the honour to be

"Your obliged and obedient servant,

"BYRON.

"P.S. I do not know that I am addressing a clergyman; but I presume
that you will not be affronted by the mistake (if it is one) on the
address of this letter. One who has so well explained, and deeply
felt, the doctrines of religion, will excuse the error which led me
to believe him its minister."

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