Chapter III: Act II

SCENE.--_The same. A fire is on the hearth, the cat by the fire. The window is open and the roses are seen climbing near the sill. It is an afternoon in June not long after the battle of Bunker Hill._

(_As the curtain rises, enter_ MISS B. _She is in summer dress. She carries a reticule or bag. She goes to door at_ L.)

MISS B. Mandy!

MANDY (_appearing in door_). Yes, missy.

MISS B. Fetch me the parcel of old linen. We roll bandages this afternoon for those wounded at Bunker Hill.

[_Exit_ MANDY.

(MISS B. _sits down, takes the cat in her lap. She sighs._)

MANDY (_entering with a roll of linen in her hand_). Here’s de linen for de poor boys in Bos’on. Dis war am dreadful. All de mens gettin’ killed and all de rest of us goin’ widout tea! Isn’t you hankerin’ for jus’ a leetle tea, missy?

MISS B. (_looking embarrassed_). Why--why.... Oh, stop your chattering, Mandy!

(_The knocker sounds._ MANDY _exits and returns with a letter_.)

MANDY. De post left dis letter, missy.

(MISS B. _opens letter, reads, looks thoughtful_. MANDY _gazes, all curiosity_.)

MISS B. ’Tis from Judge Ingram at Boston.

MANDY. Glory! Glory! De Judge am fighting de Britishers!

MISS B. Stupid! You know the Judge is a Tory. I sent him to Boston to arrange my affairs in case I should return to England. He says (_taking up the letter_) that he is attending on young Dickinson who was badly wounded at Bunker Hill--while bearing the colors at the head of his company. Humph! He doth not lack bravery, ’twould seem. The Judge requests me to send word to the young man’s mother. Perchance neighbor Kellogg’s boy would bear the message to Mrs. Dickinson. I will go and see.

(_Exit_ MISS B., _at_ R., _leaving letter on the table_. MANDY _exits at_ L.)

_Enter_ BETTY _with knitting. Sits by the window which is open. She takes the cat and lifts it to the sill._

BETTY. Smell the roses, Salem. How sweet they be. You are a wise pussy; tell me if William has the rose and the letter I sent him some days since. The post is so tardy these days. (_Puts down cat; rises and goes to the mirror; pulls beads from their hiding-place under her kerchief; arranges them around her neck._) ’Tis a pity I cannot wear William’s keepsake openly. The beads become me well.

_Enter_ MANDY _and_ BETTY _forgets to hide the beads_. MANDY _brings in the teakettle and hangs it on the crane_.

MANDY. Oh, missy, missy! You’ William Dickinson am shot!

(BETTY _screams and falls back horror-struck, then seizes_ MANDY _by the arm_.)

BETTY. Not killed! Tell me instantly!

MANDY. He am mortally wounded but will recover. De Judge say so in dat letter. (_Points to letter on table._ BETTY _seizes letter and begins to read_. MANDY _is horrified that she should read her aunt’s letter_.) Oh, missy, missy! You’ aunt would scalp you did she catch you readin’ her letter. She mos’ awful ’ticular ’bout her letters.

BETTY (_with a cry_). This letter has been on the way ten days! William may be dead for aught we know.

MANDY (_looking out the window_). Lawsy, here’s Missy Boltwood comin’ now. She’ll see you readin’ her letter! Guess MANDY better be in de kitchen!

(MANDY _runs out at_ L. BETTY _drops down behind the high chair_.)

_Enter_ MISS B.; _takes up letter again; reads it aloud thoughtfully_.

MISS B. “The courage and patriotism of the men have so infected me that I am convinced at last. In fact I have already forsworn my allegiance to the king and have enlisted in the army of the patriots.” (_She meditates; takes cat in her lap as she still holds the letter._) Stephen Ingram, you are a fool to change opinions at your time of life. And yet even I cannot but admire the devotion of the patriots to their cause; the cause, too, is a just one. I am minded to embrace it instead of being but an onlooker. (_She leans back wearily._) Hum, hum. I feel the need of my tea. (_She goes to door at_ L. _and listens, then to door at_ R. _She takes a key from a hiding-place and unlocks the chimney cupboard, brings out a little teapot, caddy, cup and saucer. She makes herself a cup of tea with the water in the kettle and drinks the tea._ BETTY _watches her from her hiding-place, and_ MANDY _also puts in her head and sees with amazement. Her eyes pop out. When_ MISS B. _rises to put the things away,_ MANDY _hastily withdraws and_ BETTY _hides again_.) There, Salem, I feel better for my Bohea, but what a scandal ’twould make did the “Boltwood Band” know of my daily deceit. But you are my only confidant, Salem, and I know I can trust your discretion. (_She rises; takes reticule preparing to go out. Steps toward_ L. MANDY _can be heard falling backward and exclaiming “Oh, lawsy!”_) Mandy!

MANDY. Yes, missy.

MISS B. Come now into the garden and pick all the roses that are overblown. To-morrow I make the rose conserve. I will show you the blossoms I have in mind.

MANDY. Yes, Missy Boltwood.

(_They exeunt at_ R. _As soon as they are gone_ BETTY _comes from her hiding-place. She takes the key and unlocks the cupboard, smells of the teapot and says “Tea!” Then she locks the cupboard again and is about to steal out at_ R. _when_ MISS B. _reënters at_ R. _She looks sharply at_ BETTY _and perceives the beads_.)

MISS B. Betty, where got you those beads?

BETTY (_confused and trying to conceal them_). What--what beads, aunt?

MISS B. Do not attempt deceit with me. You know well what I mean. The gold beads about your neck; who gave you them?

BETTY (_with courage_). They are a keepsake from William Dickinson. I pray you, aunt, be not displeased.

MISS B. (_sharply_). Give them to me. ’Tis not seemly for maidens to receive trinkets from young men. Come, undo them.

BETTY. Nay, aunt, I will not. I promised to wear them always and I will not take them off, e’en at your command.

MISS B. Well, then, I will take them off for you. (MISS B. _unclasps the beads after some resistance on_ BETTY’S _part. They fall to the floor._ BETTY _snatches them up and throws them out of the window. She and her aunt gaze at each other defiantly._ MISS B. _goes to the window_.) Mandy, quick, bring me the beads that Miss Betty threw from the window just now.

MANDY (_heard from outside_). Yes, missy.

MISS B. (_angrily_). Your conduct is disgraceful, miss. Know you not ’tis wicked to disobey and flout your elders? From this moment I forbid you to ever see or communicate with this Dickinson again. I shall restore him the beads, and when I journey to England, you will accompany me. Do you hear? Now go to your chamber and meditate on your misconduct.

BETTY. Nay, aunt, I will not give William up; I love him. You may be cruel and dangle your lover for a lifetime, but I will marry mine, and you shall grant me your permission.

MISS B. I grant my permission! Never! I do not break my word, miss.

BETTY (_scornfully_). Ah, do you not? Who, pray, has been drinking tea daily while pretending to deny herself? I beheld you with my own eyes take your little teapot from the locked cupboard! ’Twould make a pretty story did I tell it. And I warn you, if you do not grant your permission to William and me, I will publish the secret tea-drinking. The town shall ring with it!

_Enter_ MANDY.

MANDY. Can’t fin’ no gol’ beads, missy, nowhere.

MISS B. Stupid! Did you search under the window?

MANDY. Poor ol’ Mandy crawl all ober de groun’. No beads dere.

MISS B. (_suspiciously_). Methinks you may admire those beads. Unroll your turban.

MANDY. ’Fore de Lawd, missy, don’ ’spicion Mandy o’ dem beads. I isn’t got dem.

(MISS B. _looks in_ MANDY’S _turban. She takes out strange things including a clay pipe. She also searches_ MANDY’S _pockets and her dress hem. No beads._ MISS B. _is angry_.)

MISS B. If you have thieved those beads, naught can save you from the whipping-post, hussy. I will search the garden myself. [_Exit._

BETTY (_confidentially_). Come, Mandy. Tell me where my beads--tell me where my beads are.

MANDY (_excitedly_). May de debbil carry me off, Miss Betty, if I ain’t tellin’ you de trufe. I don’ know where dose beads is. But I ’vises you to watch you’ aunt in de garden. If she finds dem----

BETTY. True. I will be there to see. [_Exit._

(MANDY _wanders about the room in some excitement. She does a song and dance; anything appropriate to the period. Suddenly an idea strikes her. She goes to the hiding-place of the key, unlocks the cupboard, takes out the teapot and makes tea, drinks it with an exaggerated imitation of her mistress’ manner, looking about nervously all the time._)

MANDY. Dat am de stuff, sure. Missy drink tea, Mandy drink tea too. No one see me ’cept dat black witch-cat! He can’t tell. (_Sound of the knocker._) Lawsy! Some one’s at de door! (_She grabs the tea things and slams them into the cupboard, locks it and hides the key. She then exits at_ R. _She returns with_ MRS. S. _and_ MRS. C.) Please seat you’selves, ladies, while I tells Missy Boltwood you is here. [_Exit at_ R.

MRS. C. ’Tis best that friends should break her the unhappy news, not any chance comer. Think you not so?

MRS. S. Truly. A privilege of friendship is to report the disagreeable. I wonder how she will relish such tidings? Stephen Ingram was always a near friend to her, though ’twould take a Solomon to tell whether she cared aught for him.

_Enter_ MISS B.

MISS B. Good-afternoon, neighbors.

MRS. C.} MRS. S.} (_together_). Good-afternoon, Miss Boltwood.

MRS. C. We trust we see you well and--and--of good fortitude. Mayhap you will need it.

MRS. S. (_eagerly_). Prepare yourself for sad news; very sad news, my dear Miss Boltwood. Judge Ingram--you are aware that he but lately joined our army.

MISS B. I pray you go on!

MRS. C. The report has but now come that he has been discovered in communication with the British.

MRS. S. And that he has been arrested and will be executed as a spy!

MISS B. (_incredulously_). Stephen Ingram a spy! Impossible! It is not true.

MRS. C. His conversion to patriotism was very sudden, my dear Miss Boltwood, and all know his Tory beliefs.

MRS. S. You have our deepest sympathy in that an old, and, mayhap, a dear friend has proved unworthy. True, he was a kind, agreeable man, but he was far too easily influenced, as you well know yourself.

MISS B. (_rising in indignation_). Ladies, I will not hear Stephen Ingram traduced. I care not what reports are rife; I know the man. He would never do aught dishonorable. He may be of a yielding disposition, but his principles are adamant!

_Enter_ BETTY. _She looks in surprise at her aunt and guests._

MRS. S. (_maliciously_). Miss Betty, your aunt is deeply concerned over the downfall of Judge Ingram. The whole town is buzzing with the news. It seems the Judge joined the patriot army but to furnish information to the British. He has been discovered and is to be executed as a spy!

(BETTY _springs to her aunt’s side and puts her arms around her_.)

BETTY. Dear aunt, ’tis a false charge--I know it. They would not execute an innocent man.

(MISS B. _sinks into a chair as if about to faint_. BETTY _runs and gets wine_. MRS. C. _rushes to the fireplace, seizes a turkey wing and burns it, then holds it under_ MISS B.’S _nose. She waves aside wine and feathers._)

MRS. C. Burnt feathers are so reviving!

MISS B. (_recovering_). I want no wine, or _sympathy_, so called. If my best friend is unjustly accused, I will journey to Boston and see him righted. Methinks I have some influence on both sides of this quarrel.

(MRS. S. _and_ MRS. C. _look at one another_.)

MRS. C. (_aside_). ’Tis best to go now. Miss Boltwood, pray call on us if we can be of any assistance.

MRS. S. (_spitefully_). Mayhap you would prefer solitude for the recovery of your equanimity.

[_Exeunt_ MRS. S. _and_ MRS. C.

BETTY. Pray, aunt, let us go immediately to Boston. Every minute may be precious.

MISS B. Betty, I am deeply grateful for your belief in Judge Ingram.

_Enter_ MANDY _with_ MRS. A. MANDY _carries a basket into which she has been picking the roses. She looks curiously at_ MISS B., _as she observes her agitation_. MRS. A. _takes_ MISS B.’S _hand affectionately_.

MRS. A. My dear friend, I have just heard the news concerning Judge Ingram. Surely there is some awful misapprehension. No one who knows him could, for a minute, believe him a spy for the British.

MISS B. (_still holding_ MRS. A.’S _hand_). I thank you for those words. There is some grave mistake. For fear that he may--may be executed before others can clear him---- (_Turns to_ MANDY, _who stands with open mouth, and speaks sharply_.) Mandy! Run to Clapp’s Tavern and reserve two seats on the Boston coach to-night. Here, pay for them with this guinea.

(_Gives_ MANDY _gold from her side pocket_. MANDY _exits in haste_.)

MRS. A. Take my prayers and my good wishes with you, Miss Boltwood. If I can be of service in any way, pray let me know. [_Exit._

MISS B. Come, Betty, let us make haste to prepare for the journey. [_Exeunt._

(_For a moment the stage is empty. There is the sound of a knocker. No one responds. The knocker sounds again. After a time_ JUDGE, _in the uniform of a minuteman, enters supporting_ WILL., _who has his arm in a sling_.)

JUDGE. There seems to be no one at home, William, but you must rest before going on to your own house. Mayhap the ladies will return soon.

WILL. (_sinking back wearily in the great chair; he is white and weak_). ’Twas most kind of you, sir, to bring me home. I do not think I could have journeyed so far unaided. Yet you are needed in the army.

JUDGE. I shall return immediately. (_Enter_ MANDY _in haste_.) Ah, here is the wench. How are your mistresses, Mandy?

(MANDY _falls back amazed and gazes at_ JUDGE _with rolling eyes. She slowly backs into a corner and does not take her eyes from him._)

MANDY. Is you a ghos’, sir? I heard de ladies say you was executioned. Please, Mr. Ghos’----

JUDGE (_laughing_). Nonsense, Mandy. I am true flesh and blood. How fares Miss Boltwood?

WILL. How is Miss Betty?

MANDY. Dey is all well, sir. Dat is, dey is feelin’ awful bad dat you is executioned. On dat account dey is startin’ on de coach to-night for Bos’on, sir.

WILL. What does she mean?

JUDGE. Executed! What tale is this?

MANDY. De tale dat you is executioned as a spy, sir, for de Britishers. Missy Boltwood she say dat am a lie, an’ she goin’ to save you, sir.

JUDGE. Bless her for her faith in me.

WILL. And does Miss Boltwood--er--er--is she still disapproving of _me_?

MANDY (_cheerfully_). Oh, yes, sir. She powerful mad when she see dem beads on Miss Betty’s neck. And when she frowed dem out de window----

WILL. Who? Not Miss Betty?

MANDY. Oh, yes, sir. She got mad, too, an’ frowed de lovely beads out de window. We ain’t never found dem, neider, sir.

(WILL. _looks much cast down_.)

_Enter_ MISS B. _and_ BETTY _with bandboxes and bags. They wear bonnets. They stare dumbfounded at the_ JUDGE _and_ WILL.

MISS B. (_going to_ JUDGE _at_ L.). Stephen Ingram, thank God!

(_They clasp hands._)

BETTY (_flying to the side of_ WILL.). Oh, William! (_He tries to rise, but sinks back._) Your wound, how fares it?

(_She hangs over him and_ MANDY _brings pillows_.)

JUDGE (_laughing_). Do I look like a man about to be executed, Lavinia? Mandy has told us of the false report.

MISS B. _’Twas_ false! I knew it! But how--why----

JUDGE. Another Ingram, but not from Hartfield, was the spy. He has met his punishment ere this, poor fellow.

BETTY. Aunt Lavinia, William craves the fresh air. May we go into the garden?

MISS B. (_absently_). Yes, child.

[_Exit_ WILL., _leaning on_ BETTY, _at_ R.

JUDGE. Lavinia, I could not be a traitor to the patriot cause, for I am with it heart and soul. Your example did help to win me over.

MISS B. Mine? How so?

JUDGE. When you practiced such self-denial and gave up your tea. (_Playfully._) I knew you were wedded to it.

MISS B. (_humbly_). Oh, Stephen, you shame me. I did not keep my vow. I confess I have been drinking tea in secret. The habit was too strong for me. But now your patriotism has kindled mine. I, too, adopt the patriot cause. To it I will give myself and all I have, even my tea! Look! I break the pot in token that I break the habit.

(_She takes the teapot from the cupboard and is about to shatter it on the hearth when_ MANDY _springs forward_.)

MANDY. Oh, missy, don’ smash de little teapot! Give it to old Mandy.

(_She holds out her hands for it._ MISS B. _puts the pot into them_. MANDY _clasps it to her breast_.)

MISS B. Well, take it and get you to the kitchen. You can brew naught but “Liberty Tea” in it now.

(MANDY _starts to go but is loath to lose any of the conversation, so lingers by the door at_ L.)

JUDGE. Lavinia, it rejoices me that you so heartily embrace the glorious cause of independence. ’Tis noble----

MISS B. Say not so, Stephen. You must, in your heart, despise me for my weakness.

JUDGE. Despise you! I could not. Come, tell me. Were you about to journey to Boston in my behalf?

MISS B. Yes, I had so purposed. I would have wrested you from prison and execution, if need be!

JUDGE. What a friend you are, Lavinia!

MISS B. (_looking at him tenderly_). I have but now learned your worth to me, Stephen.

JUDGE. And I yours. Our friendship shall endure while life lasts. ’Tis above passion.

MISS B. (_faintly_). Yes, Stephen.

JUDGE. I see now how exalted is our relation. ’Tis an ideal.

MISS B. (_downcast_). True, ’tis an ideal--but----

JUDGE (_enthusiastically_). Dear Lavinia, you have shown me how earthly are mere love and marriage compared to this mating of our souls. Never again will I annoy you with words of love. Such friendship is all I ask!

MISS B. (_amazed, then indignant_). Stephen, I care not for your friendship!

JUDGE (_surprised_). What mean you, Lavinia?

MISS B. (_embarrassed, yet courageous_). I mean that I know--now--that I--I--love you, Stephen.

JUDGE (_joyfully_). Can it be that you are willing to wed me?

(_He comes nearer and looks tenderly at her._)

MISS B. Yes, Stephen.

(_He takes her in his arms._ MANDY _looks interested, then glad. At this point she exclaims._)

MANDY. Hurroo!

MISS B. (_sharply, turning about toward_ MANDY). Mandy, why are you still here? Go into the garden and finish the rose gathering.

MANDY. Yes, missy.

(_She takes basket and exits at_ L., _still clasping the teapot to her breast_.)

_Enter_ BETTY _and_ WILL. _at_ R.

JUDGE (_looking at_ BETTY _and_ WILL.). Lavinia, I pray you permit the young people to be as happy as we are. Will you not?

MISS B. I will, at your bidding, Stephen. (_She goes toward them._) Betty!

BETTY. Yes, aunt.

_Enter_ MANDY _excitedly, holding up the beads. She still clasps the teapot._

MANDY. Here’s de gol’ beads, missy. Mandy found dem hangin’ on de rose-bush.

(_She gives the beads to_ MISS B.)

MISS B. Good Mandy. You shall be rewarded. Here, Betty, take your beads. I give William permission to put them about your neck with my blessing.

BETTY (_joyfully_). Oh, thank you, aunt.

(_She gives the beads to_ WILL.)

WILL. I am deeply grateful, Aunt Lavinia.

(_He clasps the beads about_ BETTY’S _neck and kisses her. The_ JUDGE _and_ MISS B. _stand hand-in-hand beaming at them_. MANDY _gazes joyfully also, still clasping the teapot. She turns suddenly to the cupboard which_ MISS B. _had left open, and seizes the tea-caddy. With this in one hand and the pot in the other, she cries._)

MANDY. Glory! Glory! Dey has love and I has tea!

CURTAIN

New Plays

A PAIR OF CRACKER-JACKS

A Farce-Comedy in Three Acts

_By Scott Byrnes_

Four males, four females. Costumes modern; scenery, one interior. Plays two hours and a half. An unusually lively and amusing farce for a very small cast, easy to produce and effective in performance. All the parts are good and the laughs equally distributed. Produced professionally in 1904; professional acting rights reserved. Royalty of ten dollars ($10.00) for amateur performance required by the author.

_Price, 25 cents_

CHARACTERS

JACK CRACKER, _a hard cracker_.

JACK CRACKER, 2D, _a firecracker_.

JUNIUS BRUTUS BANG, _in the_
“_profesh_.”

COFFEE, _a colored brother_.

MRS. JACK CRACKER, _Jack’s
wife_.

ESTELLE CLAYTON, _Jack 2d’s
fiancée_.

FLO. ATKINS, _Jack’s niece_.

KATRINA VON HOOT, _Flo’s_
_double_.

SYNOPSIS