Chapter I: Front Matter

LYRE AND LANCET

_A STORY IN SCENES_

BY
F. ANSTEY

AUTHOR OF
"VICE VERSÂ," "THE GIANT'S ROBE," "VOCES POPULI," ETC.

LONDON:
SMITH, ELDER & CO., 15, WATERLOO PLACE.
1895.

(_All rights reserved._)

_Reprinted from "Punch" by permission of the Proprietors._

CONTENTS

PART PAGE

I. SHADOWS CAST BEFORE 1

II. SELECT PASSAGES FROM A COMING POET 11

III. THE TWO ANDROMEDAS 21

IV. RUSHING TO CONCLUSIONS 31

V. CROSS PURPOSES 42

VI. ROUND PEGS IN SQUARE HOLES 53

VII. IGNOTUM PRO MIRIFICO 64

VIII. SURPRISES--AGREEABLE AND OTHERWISE 76

IX. THE MAUVAIS QUART D'HEURE 87

X. BORROWED PLUMES 98

XI. TIME AND THE HOUR 109

XII. DIGNITY UNDER DIFFICULTIES 119

XIII. WHAT'S IN A NAME? 130

XIV. LE VÉTÉRINAIRE MALGRÉ LUI 141

XV. TRAPPED! 152

XVI. AN INTELLECTUAL PRIVILEGE 163

XVII. A BOMB SHELL 174

XVIII. THE LAST STRAW 184

XIX. UNEARNED INCREMENT 194

XX. DIFFERENT PERSONS HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS 204

XXI. THE FEELINGS OF A MOTHER 213

XXII. A DESCENT FROM THE CLOUDS 224

XXIII. SHRINKAGE 234

XXIV. THE HAPPY DISPATCH 244

CHARACTERS

GALFRID UNDERSHELL (_a minor poet_).
JAMES SPURRELL, M.R.C.V.S.
THE COUNTESS OF CANTIRE.
LADY MAISIE MULL (_her daughter_).
SIR RUPERT CULVERIN.
LADY CULVERIN.
LADY RHODA COKAYNE.
MRS. BROOKE-CHATTERIS.
MISS SPELWANE.
THE BISHOP OF BIRCHESTER.
LORD LULLINGTON.
LADY LULLINGTON.
MRS. EARWAKER.
THE HONOURABLE BERTIE PILLINER.
CAPTAIN THICKNESSE.
ARCHIE BEARPARK.
MR. SHORTHORN.
DRYSDALE (_a journalist_).
TANRAKE (_a job-master_).
EMMA PHILLIPSON (_maid to_ LADY CANTIRE).
MRS. POMFRET (_housekeeper at Wyvern Court_).
MISS STICKLER (_maid to_ LADY CULVERIN).
MISS DOLMAN (_maid to_ LADY RHODA COKAYNE).
MLLE. CHIFFON (_maid to_ MISS SPELWANE).
M. RIDEVOS (_chef at Wyvern_).
TREDWELL (_butler at Wyvern_).
STEPTOE (_valet to_ SIR RUPERT CULVERIN).
THOMAS (_a footman_).
ADAMS (_stud-groom_).
CHECKLEY (_head coachman_).
Steward's Room Boy, etc.

LYRE AND LANCET

A STORY IN SCENES