Chapter I: Preface

"Manners and Rules of Good Society" contains all the information comprised in the original work, "Manners and Tone of Good Society," but with considerable additions. In a volume of this nature it is necessary to make constant revisions, and this is periodically done to keep it up to date, that it may be depended upon as being not only the most reliable, but also the _newest book of etiquette_.

A comparison of the number of chapters and their subjects with those of the early editions would best demonstrate how the work has grown, not merely in bulk, but in importance also. This extension has allowed many subjects to be more exhaustively treated than heretofore, and it now includes every rule and point that could possibly be comprehended in its title.

The work throughout its many editions has commended itself to the attention of thousands of readers, and it is hoped the present edition will be received by society in general with the marked success of its predecessors.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER PAGE

INTRODUCTORY REMARKS ix

I. THE MEANING OF ETIQUETTE 1

II. INTRODUCTIONS 6

III. LEAVING CARDS 19

IV. PAYING CALLS 32

V. PRECEDENCY 44

VI. THE COLLOQUIAL APPLICATION OF TITLES 53

VII. POINTS OF ETIQUETTE AS REGARDS ROYAL PERSONAGES 61

VIII. POINTS OF ETIQUETTE WHEN TRAVELLING ABROAD, AND
PRESENTATIONS AT FOREIGN COURTS 65

IX. THE RECEIVED MODE OF PRONOUNCING CERTAIN SURNAMES 68

X. PRESENTATIONS AT COURTS AND ATTENDING COURTS 73

XI. PRESENTATIONS AT LEVEES AND ATTENDING LEVEES 82

XII. BALLS AND STATE BALLS 87

XIII. DINNER GIVING AND DINING OUT 99

XIV. DINNER-TABLE ETIQUETTE 116

XV. EVENING PARTIES 122

XVI. WEDDINGS AND WEDDING LUNCHEONS 128

XVII. WEDDING RECEPTIONS 143

XVIII. WEDDING EXPENSES 146

XIX. AFTERNOON "AT HOMES" 151

XX. "AT HOME" DAYS 159

XXI. COLONIAL ETIQUETTE 161

XXII. INDIAN ETIQUETTE 164

XXIII. GARDEN-PARTIES 166

XXIV. TOWN GARDEN-PARTIES 171

XXV. EVENING GARDEN-PARTIES 174

XXVI. LUNCHEONS 176

XXVII. BREAKFASTS 183

XXVIII. PICNICS AND WATER-PARTIES 186

XXIX. JUVENILE PARTIES 190

XXX. WRITTEN INVITATIONS 195

XXXI. REFUSING INVITATIONS 200

XXXII. WALKING, DRIVING, AND RIDING 202

XXXIII. BOWING 206

XXXIV. THE COCKADE 209

XXXV. COUNTRY-HOUSE VISITS 211

XXXVI. HUNTING AND SHOOTING 219

XXXVII. SHAKING HANDS 225

XXXVIII. CHAPERONS AND DEBUTANTES 228

XXXIX. PRESENTATIONS AT THE VICEREGAL COURT, DUBLIN CASTLE 229

XL. HOSTESSES 234

XLI. THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF LADY PATRONESSES OF PUBLIC
BALLS 239

XLII. PERIODS OF MOURNING 242

XLIII. ENGAGED 250

XLIV. SILVER WEDDINGS 253

XLV. SUBSCRIPTION DANCES 256

XLVI. GIVING PRESENTS 259

XLVII. CHRISTENING PARTIES 261

INDEX 265

INTRODUCTORY REMARKS

The title of this work sufficiently indicates the nature of its contents. The Usages of Good Society relate not only to good manners and to good breeding, but also to the proper etiquette to be observed on every occasion.

Not only are certain rules laid down, and minutely explained, but the most comprehensive instructions are given in each chapter respecting every form or phase of the subject under discussion that it may be clearly understood what _is_ done, or what is _not_ done, in good society, and also how what _is_ done in good society should be done. It is precisely this knowledge that gives to men and women the consciousness of feeling thoroughly at ease in whatever sphere they may happen to move, and causes them to be considered well bred by all with whom they may come in contact.

A solecism may be perhaps in itself but a trifling matter, but in the eyes of society at large it assumes proportions of a magnified aspect, and reflects most disadvantageously upon the one by whom it is committed; the direct inference being, that to be guilty of a solecism argues the offender to be unused to society, and consequently not on an equal footing with it. This society resents, and is not slow in making its disapproval felt by its demeanour towards the offender.

Tact and innate refinement, though of the greatest assistance to one unused to society, do not suffice of themselves; and although counting for much, cannot supply the want of the actual knowledge of what is customary in society. Where tact and innate refinement do not exist--and this is not seldom the case, as they are gifts bestowed upon the few rather than upon the many--then a thorough acquaintance with the social observances in force in society becomes more than ever necessary, and especially to those who, socially speaking, are desirous of making their way in the world.

Those individuals who have led secluded or isolated lives, or who have hitherto moved in other spheres than those wherein well-bred people move, will gather all the information necessary from these pages to render them thoroughly conversant with the manners and amenities of society.

This work will be found of equal service to both men and women, as in each chapter the points of social etiquette to be observed by both sexes have been fully considered.

Those having the charge of young ladies previous to their introduction into society, either mothers, chaperons, or governesses, will also derive much useful and practical information from the perusal of this work, while to those thoroughly versed in the usages of society it cannot fail to commend itself, containing as it does many useful and valuable hints on social questions.

MANNERS AND RULES OF GOOD SOCIETY