Chapter XLIV: Self-Help and Observation

TO the uninstructed, socially, the bare rules and conventions regulating social life seem often meaningless and arbitrary. A careful consideration of these conventions, such as it has been the aim of this book to give, shows that no one of them is without a reason for its being. The classification, however, of social forms, together with the reasons governing these forms, does not provide a body of knowledge sufficient to serve as guide in the matter of comporting one’s self easily and to advantage socially. There are many situations and points of behavior that it is impossible for a book of etiquette to cover. The laws laid down are only a small social capital. They discuss the more obvious matters of social contact. Numerous points,—and these of the finer sort,—must be left without comment. In the treatment of these points and problems the person desirous of solving them properly must rely largely on his own good sense. One must apply to social exigencies the same methods of reasoning that one applies in meeting the other exigencies of life. In a word, one must resort to the principle of self-help.

[Sidenote: LEARN BY OBSERVATION]

Much, too, and this in the pleasantest fashion, may be done to extend one’s knowledge of good form by observation of people who have unusual tact and social discrimination. In every city, town and village, there are such persons who are distinguished above their fellow citizens by social instinct, by the talent for performing gracefully and acceptably the offices of society. In differing degrees, but still perceptibly, these people, like the painter, the musician, the poet, are marked by a taste and a thirst for perfection. To render social life as interesting, as charming, as beautiful as possible, to make the social machinery run smoothly and without friction,—this is their aim. Such people give quality to social intercourse. They observe the little amenities of life with grace. They know how to enter a room and how to leave it. They convey by the bow with which they greet one on the street the proper degree of acquaintanceship or friendship. They dress with propriety. They take time by the forelock in the adoption of new devices for the entertainment of their friends. Their parties are the prettiest; their houses are the most popular. Not necessarily clever of speech, they are clever in small and charming activities. They have a marked talent for all the little graces that make social intercourse easy and delightful. This talent, of course, can not be communicated, but much may be learned by watching its operation. Certainly one can gain from it a knowledge of particulars, of how to perform certain definite acts, even if the conquest of the method is impossible.

It is not difficult in any community to discover people who approach more or less nearly the type described. They have a recognized distinction. To watch them, and, by this means, to wrest from them a part at least of their secret, is the surest way for the individual, timid or unversed socially, to discover his own social power and to increase it.

* * * * *

[Sidenote: TRIFLES MAKE PERFECTION]

[Sidenote: THE UNIFORMITY OF CUSTOM]

Doubtless some of those who read this book may be disposed to ask why, in social life, so much stress is laid on comparatively small matters and why one can not do as one pleases? To these we recommend Gilbert Hamerton’s delightful essay, _Custom and Tradition_, addressed “To a young gentleman who had firmly resolved never to wear anything but a gray coat.” We quote briefly: “The penalties imposed by society for the infraction of very trifling details of custom are often, as it seems, out of all proportion to the offense; but so are the penalties of nature.... Nature _will_ be obeyed. Society will be obeyed.... Society does not desire to exclude you because you will not wear evening dress; but the dress is customary, and your exclusion is merely a consequence of your non-conformity. The view of society goes no farther in this than the artistic conception (not very delicately artistic, perhaps) that it is prettier to see men in black coats regularly placed between ladies round a dinner-table than men in gray coats or brown coats. The uniformity of custom appears to represent uniformity of sentiment.... Society does not argue the point with you, but only excludes you.”

THE END

INDEX

Abbreviations, 3, 4
Accepting invitations, 183
Accounts, keeping, 391
Acknowledging favors, 410, 411
Acknowledging gifts, 169, 170, 173, 174
Acquaintance between young men and young women, 132
Addressing invitations, 1, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9
Addressing letters, 31
Addressing persons of political prominence, 34, 35
Addressing the nobility, 41
Afternoon receptions, 53, 54
Afternoon receptions, correct dress, 54
Afternoon receptions, refreshments for, 54
After six o’clock, 43
Allowances: children’s weekly sums, 395
Allowances, expenditure of, 396, 397, 398
Allowances for charity, 347
Allowances, importance of, 395
Allowances, value of, 396
Anniversaries, 63
Announcements, wedding, 86, 87
Answering letters, 29, 36, 37
Arrival at functions, 56, 57
Asking questions, 401, 402
“At Home” announcement through newspapers, 4
“At Home” days, 17, 18
“At Homes,” invitations to, 2
“At Homes” of brides, 89
Attendants, wedding, 70, 79
Automobiling, etiquette of, 285, 286

Bachelor after-theater supper, 176
Bachelor dinners, 179, 180, 181
Bachelor hospitality: chaperon required, 176
Bachelor hospitality: engaging chaperon for, 177
Bachelor hospitality: form of entertaining, 176
Bachelor hospitality: issuing invitations, 178
Bachelor receptions, 176, 179
Bachelor restaurant supper, 180, 181
Bachelor tea, 176, 178
Bashfulness, 412
Birthday gifts, 171
Boarding-house, etiquette of, 249
Boarding-schools, 113
Boating, etiquette of, 288, 289
Books, care of, 235
Books, borrowing, 235
Bouquets, bridal, 73, 82, 84
Bowing, 240
Box-party, correct seating of, 129
Breakfast, wedding, 71, 72, 75, 76, 84, 85
Bridegroom’s dress, 72, 82
Bride’s dress, 72, 82
Bridesmaid’s dress, 72, 82
Bruskness, 399
Business courtesy, 401
Butler’s dress, 102

Call, who makes first, 25, 26
Callers, refreshments for, 19, 20
Calling after a bereavement, 22
Calling-cards, 4
Calls, 14
Calls: after an invitation has been declined, 24
Calls: “At Home” days, 17, 18
Calls: conversation during, 127
Calls: hours for, 26, 125, 126
Calls: length of, 126
Calls: leaving cards, 18, 19, 20
Calls: on fiancée, 21
Calls, on the sick, 26
Calls, returning, 23
Calls, social obligation of, 17
Calls to offer sympathy, 23
Canoeing, etiquette of, 288, 289
Card-party, the, 56, 57
Cards, 14
Cards, calling, 14
Cards, correspondence, 35
Cards for an “At Home,” 2
Cards for clergymen, 16
Cards for evening reception, 3
Cards for home wedding, 69, 70
Cards for matron, 15
Cards for men, 15
Cards for mourning, 21, 22
Cards for wedding anniversaries, 62
Cards for young women, 15
Cards: style for calling, 14
Cards: when calling, 19, 20
Ceremony, wedding, 74, 75, 80
Chaperon, 145
Chaperon at college parties, 142
Chaperon at theaters, 150
Chaperon, duties of, 147, 148, 149, 150, 177
Chaperon, excursions with, 150
Chaperon, necessity of, 146, 147
Chaperon, obligation to, 147
Chaperon: when traveling, 278, 279
Charity, allowance for, 347
Charity: delicacy in gift-making, 353, 354
Charity, organized methods of, 347, 348, 349
Charity, private, 352, 353
Charity: settlement work, 351, 352
Charity: special fields of, 350, 351
Children, 315
Children at hotels, 254, 255
Children, authority over, 319
Children, behavior of, 318
Children, indulgence to, 316, 317
Children, obedience of, 322
Children, place of, 318
Children, traveling with, 320, 321
Christening gifts, 64, 178
Christening parties, 63, 64
Christmas gifts, 172, 173
Church acquaintances, 330
Church companionship, 330, 331
Church etiquette, 329
Church etiquette: making friends, 331
Church etiquette: pastor and parish, 335
Church etiquette: pew hospitality, 333
Church etiquette: visiting congregations, 335
Church etiquette: welcoming strangers, 331, 332
Clerks and customers, 408
Clerks: courtesy toward, 407
Club, woman’s, 337
Coeducation, 136
Coeducation: “Don’ts” for girls, 140, 141, 142
Coeducation: forming friendships, 138, 139
Coeducation: local etiquette of, 139
Coeducation: social amenities of, 137, 138
College festivities, 142
College slang, 141, 142
Coming out, 120
Coming-out parties, 55, 56
Companionship of one young man, 130, 131
Compliments, profuse, 417
Condolence, 34, 208, 209
Conduct toward guest, 199, 200, 201, 202
Congratulations, 34
Congratulations, wedding, 75, 83, 84
Correspondence cards, 35
Correspondence, value of, 29
Courtesy, 355
Courtesy: aged men, 360, 361, 362
Courtesy due elders, 355
Courtesy: value of deference, 357, 358, 360
Courtesy: value of discrimination, 356, 357
Courtesies: at dance, 128
Courtesies: at theater, 129
Courtesies, young men may pay girls, 128
Criticism, rudeness of, 409
Criticism, tactful, 403, 404

Dance program, 58
Dancing parties, 57, 58
Dancing parties: the hostess, 59
Dean of women, 143, 144
Débutante, 120
Débutante, age of, 121
Débutante, apparel of, 122, 123
Débutante: coming out, 120
Débutante, conduct of, 123, 124
Débutante, significance of, 121, 122
Declining invitations, 8, 9, 10, 11
Dinner coat, 104, 105
Dinner, hour for serving, 99
Dinner parties, 88
Dinner parties: arrival, 107
Dinner parties: choice of guests, 89, 90, 106
Dinner parties: departure, 109
Dinner parties, invitations to, 6, 7, 8, 9, 90
Dinner parties: general suggestions, 89
Dinner parties: leaving dining-room, 108
Dinner parties: leaving drawing-room, 106
Dinner parties: preparations for, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96
Dinner parties: serving, 100, 101
Dinner parties: the small affair, 89
Disagreeableness, 400
Dowry, bride’s, 394
Dress: between seasons, 156
Dress, color in, 161, 162, 163
Dress, consideration of, 154
Dress for balls and dinners, 156
Dress for bride, 72, 82
Dress for bridegroom, 72, 82
Dress for bridesmaids, 72, 82
Dress for business woman, 383, 384
Dress for butler, 102
Dress for christening parties, 64, 105
Dress for church, 166
Dress for house-man, 102
Dress for housework, 372, 373
Dress for maid, 102
Dress for maid of honor, 72, 82
Dress for men at dinner party, 103
Dress for traveling, 270
Dress for ushers, 83
Dress for various occasions, 54-157
Dress for widow, 212
Dress for widow at second marriage, 187
Dress for women at dinner party, 103, 156
Dress: individuality in, 162
Dress: importance of accessories, 159, 160
Dress: its influence on manner, 253
Dress: neatness in, 162, 163
Dress: street gown, 155
Dress: suitable for occasion, 158, 163, 164
Duty of hospitality, 203
Duty of maid, 99, 363
Duty of mistress, 363
Duty to elders, 355

Education of young girl, 111
Embracing, 244
Engaged couple, 60, 61
Engagements, 61
Engagements, announcement of, 61
Engagement gifts, 170
Entertaining at club-house, 65
Entertaining at hotel ballroom, 65
Escorting women, 242, 243
Evening receptions, 53
Exchanging photographs at college, 141
Expenses, wedding, 71

Finances: accounts, 391
Finances: advantages of agreement, 390, 391
Finances: advice to wife, 388, 389
Finances: allowance for wife, 389, 390
Finances: exceeding allowance, 390
Finances: investing wife’s money, 394
Finances: marrying for money, 392, 393
Finances of young married couples, 387
Finances: wife earns allowance, 387, 388
Finger-bowls, use of, 222
Finger nails, 164, 231
First names, use of, 127, 140
Flowers for funerals, 209
Forks, use of, 217, 218
Forms of address, 34, 35, 41
Functions, 52
Functions: afternoon receptions, 53, 54
Functions: anniversaries, 62, 63
Functions: announcing engagements, 61, 62
Functions: christening parties, 63, 64
Functions: coming-out parties, 55, 56
Functions: dancing parties, 57, 58
Functions: dinner parties, 88
Functions: evening receptions, 53
Functions: high tea, 54, 55
Functions: hour for arriving, 56, 57
Functions: how to conduct one’s self, 52, 58, 59, 65
Functions: leaving, 53, 55, 56, 57
Functions: luncheons, 52
Functions: music, 55
Functions: musicale, 57, 66
Funerals, 210, 211, 212

Gifts, 167
Gifts, acknowledging, 169, 170, 173, 174
Gifts, appropriate, 168
Gifts, birthday, 171
Gifts, christening, 171, 172
Gifts, Christmas, 172, 173
Gifts, display of wedding, 84, 170
Gifts for the baby, 171
Gifts for engagements, 170
Gifts for weddings, 167, 168
Gifts for young women, 171
Gifts, lists of, 170
Gifts: marking silver, 168
Girls: advantages of travel for, 116, 117
Girls: boarding-school or college for, 112
Girls: desirability of accomplishments for, 117, 118
Girls: entertaining men in their room, 312, 313
Girls: free and easy behavior, 307
Girls, 306
Girls: impropriety of advances, 310, 311
Girls: jesting, 313, 314
Girls: losing respect, 307
Girls: maidenly dignity, 312
Girls: permitting liberties, 308, 309, 310
Girls: plain talk to, 306
Girls: sending away to school, 111
Gloves, 165
Golf, etiquette of, 282, 283, 284
Grace, saying, 100
Greetings, 414
Guests at hotels, 249
Guests, choice of, 10

Harmony, 421
Hat, lifting of, 238, 239, 411
High tea, 54, 55
Home dinner, 45
Home diversion: planning for, 44, 45, 46
Home diversion: games for, 47
Home, in the, 227
Home, in the: breaches of manner, 237, 238
Home, in the: courtesy, 227, 228, 229
Home, in the: courteous attentions, 229, 233
Home, in the: family table, 229, 230
Home, in the: good taste in speech, 231, 232
Home, in the: politeness essential, 232, 233
Home, in the: recognizing others’ rights, 235, 236
Home, in the: respect for books, 235
Home, in the: respect necessary, 233, 234
Home, in the: well-trained voice, 234
Home party, 47
Home wedding, 69
Home wedding: decorations, 73, 74
Home wedding: invitations to, 69, 70
Home wedding: matter of lights, 70
Home wedding: order of procession, 74, 75
Horseback riding, etiquette of, 289, 290
Hospitality, 201, 202, 203
Hospitality, bachelor, 175
Hospitality, duty of, 203
Hospitality, mutual obligations of, 204
Hospitality, return of, 205
Hospitality to strangers, 206, 207
Hostess at dance, 59
Hostess at table, 217, 223
Hotel, children in, 254, 255
Hotel etiquette, 249
Hotel etiquette: conduct toward waiter, 252
Hotel etiquette: criticizing, 252
Hotel etiquette: dining-room conduct, 251, 252
Hotel etiquette: instructions for guest, 249, 250
Hotel etiquette: loud talking, 250
Hotel etiquette: tipping, 253
Hotel gossip, 255, 256
Hotel intimacies, 257
Hotel, summer, 257
Hotel table, at the, 416
House-man, dress of, 102
House-man, duties of, 103

Ideal society, the, 67
Indulgent parents, 316, 317
Ingratitude, display of, 409
Interest, display of, 402, 403
Introductions, 38
Introductions: an American presented at court, 40, 41
Introductions: clerical, 40
Introductions: man the one presented, 38
Introductions: should be made by host, 41, 42
Introducing a person in a large circle, 39
Introducing a sister or daughter, 39
Introducing one’s husband, 39
Introducing professional men, 42
Introducing two women of about equal age, 40
Invitations, 1
Invitations, acknowledging, 1, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9
Invitations, addressing, 6
Invitations, appreciation of, 409
Invitations, bachelor’s, 178
Invitations, declining, 8, 9, 10
Invitations for an “At Home,” 2
Invitations for bridge, 11
Invitations for card-parties, 5
Invitations for coming-out parties, 56
Invitations for church weddings, 5
Invitations for dances, 5
Invitations for dinners, 6, 7, 8, 9
Invitations for evening receptions, 3
Invitations for garden parties, 11
Invitations for luncheons, 6, 10
Invitations for musicales, 11
Invitations for tea-dance, 11
Invitations for weddings, 5, 69, 70, 78
Invitations in honor of friend, 2
Invitations: issued in name of, 13
Invitations: manner of receiving verbal, 409, 410
Invitations requiring no acceptance note, 1
Invitations: sent after a death, 12
Invitations: without first call having been made, 23, 24
Inviting a visitor, 197-198

Jesting, 313, 314

Leave-taking, a man’s, 135
Leaving cards, 20, 21
Letter-heads, 30
Letter-writing, 27
Letters, answering, 29, 36, 37
Letters: colored letter paper, 29
Letters, dating, 31
Letters: enclosing stamps, 36
Letters, how to write, 27
Letters: interchange of, 130
Letters, length of, 33
Letters: mourning stationery, 30
Letters of condolence, 34, 208, 209
Letters of congratulation, 34
Letters of introduction, 35, 36, 416
Letters: plain white paper, 29
Letters: postal cards, 33
Letters: signatures, 32
Letters: social forms, 29, 30
Letters: wrong way of treating, 28
Listening, value of, 402, 403
Little things, 399
Lunching at a club, 134
Luncheons, 52
Luncheons: the table, 52

Maid, dress of, 102
Maid, duties of, 99
Maid of honor, 70
Maid of honor’s dress, 72, 82
Maid, without a: division of tasks, 376, 377
Maid, without a: dressing for work, 372, 373
Maid, without a: importance of order, 373, 374, 375
Maid, without a: simplicity, 375, 376
Maid, without a: studying housework, 377, 378, 379
Maidenly dignity, 312
Manner, 418
Manner: beginning conversation, 425
Manner: candles of conversation, 422
Manner: harmony, 421
Manner: learn to talk well, 419
Manner: leaving a room, 425
Manner: serenity, 423, 424
Manner: telling a story, 423
Manner: the question form, 420
Manner: violent opinions, 424
Manner of lady toward social inferior, 416
Marketing: ill manners while, 408
Marriage, ceremonies of, 74, 75, 80, 81
Marrying for money, 393
Menu cards, 97, 261, 262, 263, 264, 265, 266, 267
Mistress and maid, 363
Mistress and maid: duty to maid, 356, 366
Mistress and maid: duty to mistress, 366
Mistress and maid: making confidante of maid, 366, 367
Mistress and maid: making friend of maid, 365, 366
Mistress and maid: relations between, 363, 368
Mistress, conduct of, 363, 364
Mourning: attending funerals, 209, 210
Mourning: cards of, 21
Mourning: church funerals, 212
Mourning: closing casket, 210
Mourning: conduct of bereaved, 215
Mourning: extending sympathy, 211, 212
Mourning: flowers, 209
Mourning for men, 214
Mourning: funeral notices, 215
Mourning: home funerals, 210, 211
Mourning, house of, 208
Mourning stationery, appropriate, 21, 22
Mourning, time of, 214, 215
Mourning veil, 212, 213
Mourning: widow’s dress, 212, 213, 214
Mrs. Newlyrich, ambitions of, 294, 295
Mrs. Newlyrich, apparel of, 303
Mrs. Newlyrich: conduct toward servants, 297
Mrs. Newlyrich: engaging servants, 296
Mrs. Newlyrich: forming new acquaintances, 299
Mrs. Newlyrich, house of, 303, 304
Mrs. Newlyrich, husband of, 292, 293, 294
Mrs. Newlyrich, manners of, 298, 299
Mrs. Newlyrich: mastering forms, 300, 301, 302
Mrs. Newlyrich: purse-pride, 294
Mrs. Newlyrich, speech of, 296
Mrs. Newlyrich, social duties of, 291
Music at a reception, 55
Musicale, 57, 66
Music, wedding, 74

Napkin, use of, 217, 222, 224
Neighbors, 323
Neighbors, addressing, 324
Neighbors, courtesy to, 325
Neighbors, familiarity with, 327, 328
Neighbors, higher significance of, 326, 327
Note-writing, as an accomplishment, 130
Notices, funeral, 215

Obedience, children’s, 322
Observation, value of, 427, 428

Paper, letter, 29, 35
Parents, indulgent, 316, 317
Parish, etiquette of, 329
Party calls, 23
Parties, anniversary, 63
Parties, christening, 63, 64
Parties, coming-out, 55, 56
Parties, dancing, 57, 58
Parties, dinner, 88
Parties, gentlemen should attend on ladies, 133, 134
Parties, house, 187
Pastor and parish, 334, 335, 336
Perfect social group, 68
Photographs, exchange of, 141
Politeness in home, 232, 238
Postal cards, use of, 32, 33
Presentation at court, 40-41
Privacy, respect for others’, 235, 236
Public, addressing women in, 243, 245
Public, assisting women in, 242
Public, boarding a car in, 240, 241
Public, bowing in, 240
Public, embracing in, 244
Public, escorting women in, 242, 243
Public, etiquette in, 240, 241
Public, kissing in, 244
Public, lifting hat in, 238, 239
Public, removing hat in, 239
Public, resigning seat in, 241, 242
Public: theater conduct, 245, 246
Purse-pride, 294

Receiving a caller, 126
Receptions, afternoon, 53, 54
Receptions, evening, 53
Receptions, invitations for, 3
Recreation, 43
Refreshments for callers, 19, 20
Refreshments for home wedding, 64
Refreshments for receptions, 64
Restaurant, in the, 259
Restaurant, in the: conduct, 259, 260, 261
Restaurant, in the: menu card, 261, 262, 263, 264, 265, 266, 267
Restaurant, in the: ordering, 259, 260
Returning calls, 23
Rowing, etiquette of, 288, 289
Rudeness, 399
Rules of social life, 426

Self-criticism, 412
Self-help, 426
Serving guests, 101, 102
Settlements, 392
Settlement work, 351
Social favors, asking, 416
Spoon, use of, 220
Sports, etiquette in, 280
Sports, etiquette in: automobiling, 285, 286
Sports, etiquette in: boating, 288, 289
Sports, etiquette in: canoeing, 288, 289
Sports, etiquette in: driving, 289
Sports, etiquette in: golf, 282, 283, 284
Sports, etiquette in: horseback riding, 289, 290
Sports, etiquette in: politeness necessary, 280
Sports, etiquette in: rowing, 288, 289
Sports, etiquette in: swimming, 289
Sports, etiquette in: tennis, 286, 287
Sports, etiquette in: yachting, 287
Sports, general rules of, 281, 282
Street-car, getting off, 415
Summer hotel, etiquette of, 257
Suppers, Sunday night, 49, 50
Suppers, after the theater, 176
Swimming, etiquette of, 289
Sympathy, cards of, 22
Sympathy, expressions of, 211, 212

Table, at, 216
Table, at: carving, 217
Table, at: drinking coffee, 221, 222
Table, at: eating, 216, 220
Table, at: salad, 222
Table, at: second service, 224
Table, at: the hostess, 217, 223
Table, at: the waitress, 222
Table, at: use of finger-bowls, 222
Table, at: use of fork, 217, 218
Table, at: use of knife, 217, 218, 219
Table, at: use of spoon, 220
Table, at: using fingers, 220, 221
Table: fruit centerpiece for, 97
Table laws, 225, 226
Table, setting the, 93, 94, 95, 98, 225
Table, sitting at, 216
Telephoning, politeness of, 404, 405, 406
Tennis, etiquette of, 286, 287
Tipping, 188, 253
Titles, 17, 42
Titles: husband’s never taken by wife, 16
Traveling: arrival in a strange city, 276, 277, 278
Traveling: by boat, 278
Traveling: chaperons, 278, 279
Traveling: funds, 270, 271
Traveling: in the dining-car, 275, 276
Traveling, making acquaintance while, 271, 272
Traveling: Pullman car preparations, 272, 273, 274
Traveling, suitable clothing for, 270

Uniformity of custom, 429
Uninvited visitor, 12, 183
Use of first names, 127, 245
Ushers, wedding, 74, 79
Ushers, dress for, 83

Value of allowances, 396
Visited, the, 195
Visited, the: conduct toward guest, 199, 200, 201, 202
Visited, the: decline of hospitality, 195, 196, 197
Visited, the: inviting a visitor, 197, 198
Visited, the: preparing for visitor, 198, 199
Visited, the: welcoming visitor, 199
Visitor, the, 182
Visitor, the: accepting invitations, 183, 184
Visitor, the: assisting hostess, 186
Visitor, the: examples of misbehavior, 190, 191, 192
Visitor, the: expenses of, 200, 201
Visitor, the: house-parties, 187
Visitor, the: keeping engagements, 184
Visitor, the: meal time, 184, 185
Visitor, the: promptness essential, 185
Visitor, the: proper mode of conduct, 193, 194
Visitor, the: thanking hostess, 188, 189
Visitor, the: tipping servants, 188
Visitor, the: what to avoid, 190
Visitor, uninvited, 183
Visitor, wardrobe of, 182, 187
Voice, speaking quality of, 234

Waitress, 222
Weddings, 69, 70, 78
Wedding anniversaries, 62, 63
Wedding announcements, 86, 87
Wedding apparel, appropriate, 72, 82, 83
Wedding at home, 69, 70
Wedding attendants, 70, 79
Wedding-breakfasts, 71, 72, 75, 76, 84, 85
Wedding calls, 85
Wedding-cards, 70
Wedding ceremony, 74, 75, 80, 81
Wedding, church, 78
Wedding decorations, 73, 78, 79
Wedding, evening, 83
Wedding expenses, how divided, 71
Wedding invitations, form of, 69, 70, 78
Wedding jokes, impropriety of, 77
Wedding music, 74
Wedding procession, order of, 74, 75, 80
Wedding ushers, 74, 79
Weddings: “At Home” days, 89
Weddings: expressing congratulations, 75, 83, 84
Weddings: days for, 70
Weddings: maid of honor, 70
Week-end party, 187
Wines, serving of, 98
Women’s clubs, broadening influence of, 337, 338, 339
Women’s clubs, candidates for membership in, 343, 344
Women’s clubs, discussion in, 342, 343
Women’s clubs, formation of, 339, 340
Women’s clubs, making the program of, 340, 341, 342
Women’s clubs: reception of new members, 344
Women’s clubs, social functions of, 345, 346
Women’s colleges, 114, 115
Women in business, 380
Women in business: after working hours, 385, 386
Women in business, broadened life of, 384, 385
Women in business: conduct during working hours, 382
Women in business, proper dress for, 383, 384
Women in business, social position of, 381

Yachting, etiquette of, 287
Yachting: the guest, 288
Yachting: the host, 287
Young women, and young men, 125
Young women: calling on, 126
Young women, introductions to, 138
Young women: invitations from men, 125
Young women, proposing for, 131, 132

* * * * *

Transcriber’s Notes:

Obvious punctuation errors repaired.

Page 96, “desert” changed to “dessert” (required for the dessert)

Page 115, “woman’s” changed to “women’s” (A women’s college is)

Page 224, “insist” changed to “insists” (your host insists, however)

Page 263, “Fondu” changed to “Fondue” (Fondue—A preparation)

Page 265, “Piquante, piquante” changed to “Piquant, piquant” (“Piquant”—Sharply flavored, as “sauce piquant,”)

Page 266, “Veloute” changed to “Velouté” (“Velouté”—A smooth)