Chapter III: Part 3

It was observable after this Peregrination, that King _James_ began to ride with a very loose Rein, and throwing the Bridle in the Neck, managed his Concerns with a great deal of Indifference. He saw clearly how fatal a Thing it was for one King to fall into the Hands of another; and that under the plausible Cloak of Hospitality, and Royal Protection, a Person might be lull'd a Sleep in the Arms of an Enslaver. When Princes are detain'd Prisoners, they generally wear all the Symptoms of their Royalty besides that of Freedom, which cannot be distinguish'd so much by the Eye as, the Judgment; and if some of King _James_'s Subjects regarded their Master with the same Compassion at the Castle of St. _Germains_ as if he had been in the _Bastile_, there was very little Difference to be found besides the largeness of the Enclosure. And if King _James_ has not often been heard to let drop Expressions as if he regarded himself no otherwise than a Politick Prisoner, I am very much misinform'd by those who constantly attended his Person. The denying him his own Guards, the number of Spies he had upon all his Actions, the Uneasiness he often shew'd that he cou'd enjoy no Privacy, are Circumstances that smell very strong of a Prison. However, the Pretence of protecting a Person in Distress, was a noble Sham, and so well dress'd up, that the Generallity ne'er look'd through the Disguise. The Salary allow'd him, and frequent Protestations of standing by him with unpolitick Heads, were look'd upon as undeniable Proofs of _Lewis_ XIV.' Sincerity; but those who were better acquainted with _French_ Stratagems, easily pull'd off the Vizard. King _James_ fell into the Hands of _France_, and was a rich Opportunity in the _French_ Hands, from whence they might raise a Thousand Advantages. He was too great a Treasure to be parted with only upon good Terms. A Tool no less useful to make a Diversion in time of War, than to obtain a beneficial Article at the Conclusion of Peace; and if upon the Foot of this Maxim he was not thrown into one side of the Scales at the Peace of _Reswick_, when _France_ cou'd have no other Motive but being gratified with an Equivalent for the disclaim of his Title, I shall own my self a Stranger to the Spirit and Design of that Treaty. Two things surpris'd all _Europe_ upon that Treaty, the first was, that _France_ should be so inclinable to hearken to a Peace after a War, in which he had always been successful. The other was, that no regard shou'd be had to King _James_, not so much as to be admitted to speak, though _France_ pretended to have undertaken the War meerly upon his Account, and that his Quarrel seem'd to be the only Circumstance to justify his Conduct in the War. The Hopes of gaining Time to work his Ends upon _Spain_, will easily account for his forwardness in clapping up a Peace, and giving up more Towns than he had been Master of by the War; for thus like a through pac'd Politician, he humbled himself by little Condescensions to the Feet of the Allies, and sacrifices these Excrescencies of his Glory, in hopes very speedily to make good all such Deficiences by the larger Acquisition of _Spain_: But nothing will answer the other Part of People's Expectations. _Lewis_ XIV had often made solemn Protestations, that as the War was principally undertaking to do right to K. _James_, so Peace should not be made unless he was consider'd; and unless it were a few near the Person of _Lewis_ XIV who were in the Secret concerning the Design upon _Spain_, there was not a Man in _France_ but who had a better Opinion of their Monarch's Honour, than to think he wou'd desert King _James_ the Second's Cause in so scandalous a Manner, as not to admit his Plenipotentiaries to speak at _Reswick_: Yes, so undefensible was the Conduct of _France_ upon this Head, that they commonly own'd they were asham'd to look any that belong to the Court of St. _Germains_ in the Face, since all their lofty Protestations for restoring King _James_ ended in the self-ended Design of securing the _Spanish_ Monarchy in the House of _Bourbon_. And thus poor King _James_ had implicitely devoted himself to the _French_ King's Politicks, first by suffering himself to be led blindfolded, and after he had pull'd off the Veil, (though some will have it he died with the Film upon his Eyes) caress'd the Opportunity, and made it a principal Ingredient among those Misfortunes which he was in hopes to raise his Merits hereafter, and if he question'd the _French_ King's Sincerity, he either durst not tell him, or scrupled to publish his Insincerity.

These were the melancholly Meditations with which the more discerning part of King _James's_ Friends often entertain'd themselves, but great care was taken that no such Language shou'd reach the _French_ Court. Their Honour was too nearly touch'd to pass over such Reflexions in that severity and remarkable Punishment. I took my self to be pretty Cautious upon such like Subjects, yet upon this last pretended Descent, King _James_ being inform'd that I had express'd my self very improperly upon the Matter, so as to blame the Dilatory Methods of _France_ upon his Account, I was order'd to be Prisoner in my Lodgings, but releas'd after two Days Confinement, with a threatening Charge, never more to reflect upon the _French_ King's Conduct. I do not remember where I spoke the Words, or in what Company, but I believe I might make a loose upon their Management who prefer'd the _French_ to the King's own Subjects upon this Expedition; adding withal, that it look'd as if such Persons had no Design the Project should take Effect, but this was enough to shew I had a jealous Mind.

About this Time my Company, with the rest of the Regiment, was order'd down into _Flanders_, and having been a considerable Time absent I was commanded to attend there. My Brother-in-law who was one of the Robe in his own Country, and unacquainted with the Wars, yet was moved with a certain Curiosity to see a Campaign, and tho' much against my Sister's Will, resolv'd to accompany me into _Flanders_; yet his Principal Motive was to make a Halt at _Doway_, whither he had been invited some time before by a near Relation belonging to the _Scotch_ College in that University. We went together in the _Cambray_ Coach, and after a short stay at _Doway_, we proceeded on to the Army, which then was under that expert and resolute General the Duke of _Luxembourg_. It was certainly a kind impulse of Heaven that gave me my Brother for a Companion upon this Occasion; for an Action happening soon after, viz. the famous Battle of _Launden_, where it was my Misfortune to be dangerously wounded. I had the Satisfaction of my Brother's Company and Assistance during a tedious Sickness, which was the Consequence of my Wounds. The _French_ were no great Gainers by this Battle, though they at long run routed the Enemy, and kept the Field; for besides the great loss they sustain'd during the Attack, which far exceeded that of the Allies, the Victory was not well pursu'd. It was my Post to reinforce a Party of _French_ Fusiliers, who were order'd to Storm the Intrenchmenent, in which Service a Bullet was lodg'd in my Shoulder, which besides disabling me on one Side, the loss of Blood I suffer'd was so great, that I was not able to support my self, but drop'd down and had been trampled to Death under my own Mens Feet, had not a strong Body'd Drummer hurried me out of the Croud upon his Back; but he carried me off with such Precipitation, that one of the Enemies Troopers seeing me at a Distance, and thinking me to be somebody of Consequence, sprung after me upon his Gelding, and carried both me and the Drummer into a Village on the left Hand of the Attack, where several Squadrons were posted. The commanding Officer who was a Colonel of the _English_ Guards, finding, I was of the _British_ Nation, order'd me to be laid in a Barn with a Centinel to guard me, and the Surgeon of the Regiment was immediately call'd for to dress and tie up my Wounds. I had not been in that Lodging above an Hour, but the Village was attack'd by the _French_ Gens d'Arms, and there was a Tryal of Skill between the Flower of both the Armies, in which Action the _French_ at last were Superior, so I was releas'd, but it was equal to me in the Condition I was in whose Hands I fell into, for I had so many fainting Fits which succeeded one another, that I expected not to survive any of 'em. My Brother, whom I desired to go to _Loraine_ during the Action had a Mind to be a little nearer, so remain'd with the Baggage, but met not with me till the next Day, that we both went in a Waggon to his Lodgings in _Loraine_, where I was confin'd three Months before I was able to Travel.

In this Retirement it was that I began to be very Serious: A Soldiers Life has many Occurrences which are not very reconcileable to strict Morality. To comprize my own Character in relation to Christianity, I was neither a Saint nor a Devil. The Pains I felt were very Sharp, and hindred my Rest; my Blood was heated and boiling up to a Fever, which being agitated with daily dressing my Wounds, it requir'd a skillful Physician and a good Regimen in the Patient, to stave off a Fit of Sickness. My Brother prov'd an excellent Nurse, and had he not us'd a great deal of Reason in keeping me from improper Nourishment, the Game would quickly have been up with me. I was also waited upon several times by a worthy Clergyman, who neglected not to give me Penitent Hints to have regard to the main Concern; I return'd him Thanks, and gave him to understand I would make use of him when there was more urgent Occasion. When I began to grow a Valetudinarian, and that my Wounds began to heel up, I had the Liberty to drink _Loraine_ Beer, which is much celebrated in those Parts. As yet I had drank nothing but Tissans and such like Decoctions, which being very mild upon the Palate, did not give content to the inward dryness and thirst I felt by the loss of Blood. But I quickly repented this Indulgence of tasting the Beer, I took such deep Draughts that I relaps'd into a dangerous and most violent Fever, in which I acted all the Parts of a dying Man, besides making my Exit; I was delirious above three Days, which though it was but a melancholly Sight in it self, yet I behav'd my self so various in my rambling Discourse, that it occasion'd no small Diversion to such as were present, and had no immediate concern in my Welfare. I besieg'd Towns, rally'd scattered Forces, accepted Challenges, wandered over the _Alpes_, and pass'd over several Seas without Ships; I was in the Orchard at the Boyne, under the Walls of _London Derry_, and diverted with the fine Rode to _Lions_, and what I thought I should never have in my Head again, some amorous Ideas, though very faint one's, discover'd themselves, and I was heard to talk of Snuff-Boxes, Periwigs, and _Spanish_ Ladies. My Brother who heard me, and to whom I had discover'd that Intrigue, burst out into a Laugh when he heard me name Snuff-Boxes; for this was enough to make him believe the Passion was not dead in me, which he horded up to rally me with.

During this Entertainment which I gave the Spectators, my Brother had sent for the Priest, but I was then in a very improper State to settle Accounts in Relation to the next World. However, the Gentleman approaching my Bed, and calling upon me to hear whether I could return a rational Answer. He bid me lift up my Heart to God, and call upon my Redeemer. But I, as I suppose, taking him to be one of my Sergeants, bid God--D--n him for a Rascal, why had he not been with me before? for the Colonel had order'd a Review shou'd be made at Eleven a Clock. The Priest shrugg'd up his Shoulders, sprinkled me with Holy Water, and retir'd to the Window, where my Brother and the Physician were attending my Fate. When my Delirious Fit was over, which was about an Hour afterwards, I turn'd my Eyes towards the other Side of the Room, where I saw three Persons leaning in the Window with their Backs towards me; and not being entirely recover'd from my Delirious State, I fancied my self a Prisoner at _Constantinople_, and that my Brother, the Physician, and the Priest, were three Mutes sent to Strangle me; but in an Instant or two I return'd to my self, and discover'd whose Hands I was in. This was a terrible Attack, and the Enemy had made such a Breach, that I desired to wisper a Word with the Priests, telling him I wou'd Capitulate next Morning about Eight a Clock. Afterwards I recover'd very leisurely, and took great Care not to be too bold with the _Lorain_ Beer. My Phician advised me not to remove from that Place till I was perfectly establish'd, assuring me there was not better Air in all the _Netherlands_. I follow'd his Advice, for I cou'd not think him prompted to give it me through Avarice, for he was so very moderate in his Fees, that I thought my self oblig'd at our parting to make him a handsome Present. My Brother who was a Man of Letters, and very curious in his Enquiries, had a good opportunity during our stay here to get acquainted with several learned Men of this University. One of the first account was Dr. _Martin_ an _Irish_ Clergyman, who had a lively Genious and was also a Person of great reading. In the mean time my Sister at _Paris_ began to grow impatient for her Husband, but she bore his Absence the better when she understood how useful he had been to me during my Sickness. However, we made bold to Trespass a little further, by taking a turn round the Country. It was not a Journey entirely of Pleasure, for I was oblig'd to go to _Amsterdam_, there being a stop put to the Interest of my Mony, so I was resolved to see that Matter rectify'd. So having obtained a Pass from the Allies, under the Quality of two _Scotch_ Merchants we began our Journey. When I came to _Amsterdam_, I was very much surpriz'd to understand the odd Occasion of my Money being stop'd. It seems a Countryman, of mine who had fish'd out something of my Concerns, and saw me fall at the Battle of _Launden_, had Counterfeited a Deed in the Nature of a Will, which imported, that all my Effects in _Amsterdam_ were left to him, he being my Brother, and demanding it as his due. The Banker had the Deed perus'd by several Persons, it had a great appearance of being Authentick, and my Hand was so inimitably clap'd to it, that when compared with what was certainly known not to be Counterfeit, 'twas impossible to discover the Difference. Now the Banker desired this pretended Brother of mine to have Patience till he had an account from _Paris_ whether or no I was dead, and the general Report being that I was kill'd at _Launden_, this was the occasion that the Money was neither paid to my Correspondent nor to my Sham Brother. This Point once clear'd, I was resolv'd to find out the Person who had personated my Brother, that I might bring him to condign Punishment, as also to clear a Suspicion I had, that my Servant had a Hand in it, for otherwise I thought it impossible one that was a Stranger should know whose Hands my Money was in. In the first place I cunningly interrogated my Servant at a distance, and found enough by his Countenance that he was not entirely Innocent, however, not being able to prove it upon him, I in the next place made a diligent Search after my Sham-Brother; for he had told the Banker at his last Visit that he wou'd return again in Seven or Eight Days, and Six of 'em were now expired. The Gentleman was as good as his World. He came to the Banker with a good Assurance, and demanded both Principal and Interest. I was then at my Lodging, but being sent for, I was strangely surpris'd to see the Clerk of my Company, who was also a Sergeant, metamorphos'd into my Brother. He shrunk two Inches lower at the Sight of me; but dissembling the matter, I am glad to see thee alive Sergeant said I, for I took it for granted you were kill'd at the Battle of _Launden_; and I, reply'd the impudent Villain, thought you had, otherwise I had not been here: but if you please, noble Captain, to walk into the next Tavern and give me leave to wait upon you, I will discover to you the occasion of my coming to _Amsterdam_. My Fears as to my Money being now all over, I comply'd with the Rascal, and went along with him. But he dress'd up such a Narrative in favour of his good Intention, and strengthen'd it with such plausible Circumstances, That he and my Servant, whom he confess'd to be one of the Party, had no other Intention but to get the Money out of the Banker's Hands for the Use of my Relations; for that they had Reason to suspect I had made no Will, and so no body wou'd have a Right to demand the Money. Now though this Stratagem was very probably all a Fiction, yet it wrought so much with me, that I did not Prosecute either of 'em; for as I was acquainted with both their Friends in _Scotland_, so I had some regard for them, and dismissed them to go home or whither they pleas'd, not thinking it safe to entertain Persons who had been involved in such mysterious Practices.

My Affairs being settled at _Amsterdam_, we had the Curiosity to see _Antwerp_, which is a City where a Stranger may employ his Time very agreeably, for a longer Term than we cou'd conveniently spend there. We lodg'd at a House where an _English_ Nobleman also had an Apartment. He had been in that City about two Months, kept a handsome Equipage, was very young, and a well bred Gentleman, of great value among the Ladies, and had he been able to support the Character he bore at first appearance here, it would have convinced the World there is very little difference between a Footman and a Nobleman, where neither Sense nor Money are wanting to carry on the Resemblance. I must anticipate the dismal Exit of this unfortunate Gentleman which happen'd not till about two Years afterwards. While he was in his Splendour at _Antwerp_, and cou'd answer every bodies Expectations as to Money matters, it was not any Mans Business to pry into his Pedigree; but when his Conduct began to be observ'd, and taken Notice to be full of Shuffling and Demurs in the Payment of small Bills, there was a Jealousy spread about the Town that the Lord G---- would prove a Cheat, so his Credit began to sink in the Shops, but it held up still among the Ladies, where a handsome Personage, and a charming Tongue is often ready Money. But it was not long before he began also to be suspected from this Quarter; his Visits were not so frequent, his Treats much more sparing; and especially one Lady, who was his greatest Admirer, and most capable to make Him Happy on all Accounts, was oblig'd to expose him, and make this Phantom of Nobility evaporate. In the frequent Visits he pay'd this Lady, he had observ'd a very handsome Diamond Ring upon her Finger, which was no less remarkable for its uncommon Form, than intrinsick Value, at a low Estimate being judg'd to be worth 80_l_. Sterling. The Gentleman had often thrown out a great many Compliments upon it, which usually tended towards extolling the Ladies Judgment and Fancy in the choice and ordering of that Jewel, for she wanting to her self, let him and every body else know, it was a Thought of her own. The Gentleman in the midst of one of his Panegyricks upon this little Charmer, begg'd the Favour of the Lady that he might borrow it for a Day or two till he had shewn it a Jeweller, for he design'd to have one made in the same Form. The Lady was not a little pleas'd that her Fancy was like to become a Pattern to the Town, willingly drew it off her Finger, not in the least suspecting any Trick, for as yet his Fame was untouch'd. I think he made two or three Visits without returning the Ring, pretending the Workman was dilatory in taking a Pattern; but 'tis suppos'd he wanted time to prepare himself for a Flight, and brush off with the Ring. However, none of these Suspicions enter'd the Ladies Head, he not being her Aversion. About three or four Days after, a Lady visiting her, told her the _English_ Nobleman had parted with his Chariot, pawn'd his best Suit of Cloaths, and that his Credit was not only very low, but it was suppos'd he wou'd in a Day or two be oblig'd to Decamp, or take up his Quarters in a Jail. 'Tis obvious to imagine that the first Thing that came into the Ladies Mind upon this Occasion was her Diamond Ring; but, as she confess'd afterwards to a Friend, the Compassion she had for the Gentleman's Circumstances had so large a Place in her Heart, that she does not remember to have had any concern upon her in Relation to the Jewel; from whence we may gather that Evil Fate that hangs over some Persons Heads, for had but this unfortunate Person pursu'd the Interest he had with that Lady, whilst he was in flourishing Circumstances, he might easily have carried it to the _non plus ultra_, and became Master, of 15000, as she her self own'd when she recover'd her Passion and began to think calmly. However, the Diamond Ring was not to be neglected, for though she had been willing to have parted with her Interest in it to Succour the Gentleman in Distress, it was too large an Alms, and would perhaps have been judg'd by the World rather an Instance of her Forwardness and Indiscretion than of her Charity. Her Friends before advis'd her to demand the Ring, which she did that Evening, but understood he had pawn'd it for the full Value; upon which she was (though much against her Inclination) oblig'd to Arrest him, and had him clap'd up in Prison: But however, she was a very kind Jailor. It is a Custom, having the Force of the Law in the _Netherlands_, that when a Debtor is kept in Prison, it shall be at the Charges of the Creditors; in which also they observe a kind of Proportion, that a Gentleman is to be allow'd like a Gentleman, and a Mechanick is to be content with a smaller Allowance. The Lady comply'd very willingly with the Custom, and her Prisoner being reputed a Person of Quality, it was an excellent Disguise to show her Liberality. But afterwards being weary of the Charge, and finding by the Information of several _Englishmen_ that pass'd thro' _Antwerp_, that her Prisoner was not the Person he pretended to be, but a meer Sharper and Knight of the Post, she slacken'd in her Charity, and gradually brought him down to a common Allowance, and at last discharg'd him. His Life after that was a meer Romance; He first went into _Gaunt_, here he took up a large Apartment of four or five Rooms well furnish'd, which he sold after a Fortnight, taking an advantage of the Landlady's Abscence. With the strength of this Plunder, he made a Figure for two or three Months at _Brussels_, where he fought a Duel with _H.S._ an _English_ Gentleman. This Accident drove him from _Brussels_, but finding he was not secure in the _Spanish Flanders_, he crossed the Lines, spent the remainder of his Substance at _Lisle_, and he directed his Course to _Dunkirk_, from whence 'tis said he design'd to take Shipping for _England_. But here he finish'd his Misfortunes as I was inform'd upon the Spot, by a Merchant who resided in that Town, and saw his Exit. This _English_ Merchant walking upon the Key according to Custom, observ'd a young Gentleman walking in a Melancholy Posture, and thinking he knew him, though the poor Dress he was in would not suffer him to make a positive Judgment; however, he stept up towards him, and upon a nearer View, was convinc'd he was the Person he took him for. This Merchant had been acquainted with him at _Antwerp_, when he bore the Character of an _English_ Nobleman and lived with great Splendor. The Gentleman more dash'd, as I suppose, to jump upon one who had heard of his Tricks, than for the meanness of his Circumstances, told the Merchant he was an unfortunate Man, and Things were now so desperate with him, that he had no way left to relieve himself but by a Halter. The Merchant having a charitable regard for his Circumstance, though he knew him to be a very undeserving Object, told him, he wou'd provide him with a Lodging and Diet till he had a Return of Money, the Gentleman answer'd frankly he expected no Returns, nor did he know of any Body that wou'd Assist him, nor you'd he make any Demands. This Account encourag'd the Merchant to be more Charitable, so he conducted him to an Inn, desiring the Master of the House to furnish him with Diet and Lodging till further Orders. Two Days after, the Merchant coming to Visit him about Ten in the Morning, when they imagin'd he was still in Bed, a Servant being sent up to call him, he was hang'd upon the Beam, in one Corner of his Chamber. The Merchant had a great Curiosity to find out the Pedigree of this Romantick Gentleman, but you'd get no Authentick Account. I told him I was inform'd at _Antwerp_, that he was Footman to a Person of Quality, and that he had robb'd his Master, and fled into the _Netherlands_ to escape Justice, which made him always unwilling to think of returning Home.

The Peace of _Reswick_ was a ratifying King _James's_ Abdication, and enrolling in the _French_ Archives, what was before declar'd in the Convention at _Westminster_. It was now no Time to expostulate with _Lewis_ XIV. why he had concluded a Peace without mentioning the Person upon whose Account he had began the War? The Titular King of St. _Germains_, and the Real one at _Whitehall_, were not irreconcileable, and the continuation of the Pension was regarded as an unquestionable mark of the _French_ King's Sincerity, and the unthinking Crew spoke well of the Master that cramm'd them, never dreaming that they were but fatten'd for Slaughter, and that under the Disguise of Succouring their Persons, he might Prey upon their Interest. The _Spanish_ Monarchy was what _France_ had in their Eye by the Peace of _Reswick_, and the Restoring of King _James_ was decreed to be the Motive of a War when they came to a Rupture. Upon the Decease of the King of _Spain_, _Lewis_ XIV diverted Europe with a fresh Scene of Politicks. He convinc'd 'em, that what he had done at _Reswick_ was a meer Decoy to gain Time and Breath, and bring greater Designs about. The Allies saw clearly he had been jugling with two Sham Treaties of Partition, but was underhand working to engross the Whole, and that the Son and Father at St. _Germains_ were always to serve to the same Purposes, and stand in the first Line of his _Manifesto_, to make the War plausible, and raise Factions in the Territories of _Great-Britain_. This was Fact, for no sooner were _Things_ ready in _Spain_ and _Flanders_, but King _James_ II departed this Life, which opportunity the _French_ Monarch snatched, and in a studied Royal Transport, exalted the young Striplings Expectations at St. _Germains_ by a solemn Protestation, that he wou'd never sheath his Sword till he saw him upon the Throne of his Ancestors, by which I suppose he understood no more than that titular Inauguration which was settled upon his Father at the Peace of _Reswick_. For had not the Affair of the _Spanish_ Monarchy prompted _France_ to this generous Declaration in Favour of the Son, 'tis highly probable the _Gallick_ Sword wou'd have rusted in the Scabbard, as it was lock'd up by the Treaty of _Reswick_, nor had it been now drawn but upon a more beneficial Provocation, than restoring King _James_, for if it was the Interest of _France_ to let the Father sit down quietly with the Title, nothing cou'd supervene to give the Son the Reality. Upon this Basis the War was renewed again on both Sides, and the Juggle was kept on with the Court of St. _James_'s, and great Pains were taken by the Emissaries of _France_, to buoy up King _James_'s Friends both at home and abroad, that _Lewis_ XIV was Sincere, and wou'd exert himself sooner and later in their Cause.

The World needs not be put in Mind what Service King _James_ II, Troops did to _France_ during the War, every Action spoke their Bravery, but the grand Reform that was made upon the Peace was a sorry recompence for their Service. _France_ wou'd not entertain 'em, and a Halter was their Doom if they return'd Home. This was an odd way of obliging King _James_; I speak not so much upon my own account, (though I was reduc'd at the same Time) because I had a Sufficiency elsewhere to keep me from Starving; but it was but a melancholly sight to behold poor Men strolling upon the Road, not knowing which way to direct their Course, and begging Alms through those Towns in which a little before they had Triumph'd in Victory. But the Rod is often thrown away and burnt after the Child is Whip'd. Upon this Occasion it was that I took leave of _Mars_, resolving to make use of this Interval of Peace, to satisfy an old Curiosity to see _England_, a Place as yet I never had beheld. Some Acquaintance I had contracted at _Dunkirk_, made me willing to take Shipping there, besides the hopes I had of decoying a pleasant Gentleman for my Companion, and upon my Arrival I found him in a good Humour, so we set Sail about three in the Morning, and came under _North Foreland Point_ about seven the same Day. The Master of the Vessel, though he was an old Coaster, was not willing to trust himself among the Flats in a dark Moon, so we lay at Anchor all Night, and in the Morning by peep of Day, the Wind being pretty favourable, we weigh'd and pursu'd our Voyage up the River; but being a little too soon for the Tyde, we struck upon a Sand Bed, and oblig'd to remain ther till the Rise of the Water. I was all alone in the Master's Cabin when this Accident happen'd, but being very intent upon a Book, I was not sensible whether we mov'd or stood still. A Lady who was with the rest of the Passengers upon Deck coming hastily down, Sir, said she. Do you sit quietly here and we are struck upon a Sand-Bed? Madame, said I, I did suppose such a Thing, but the Tyde will cast us off. You suppos'd such a Thing, said she, Why, Sir, we shall certainly be drown'd, come let us to Prayers. I was not very much accustom'd to the Sea, yet I imagin'd there could be no great Danger as long as we had a flowing Tyde, and that it did not blow a Storm: Had the Water been ebbing and a Storm ensu'd upon it, 'tis probable our Ship, being none of the strongest, might have been beaten to Pieces among those Sands. However, I step'd upon Deck to see how Things went; there was a profound Silence every where, the Passengers were scatter'd here and there looking one at another, but not speaking a Word; the Master was walking with his Arms across without Fear, but not without Concern in his Countenance: I ask'd him how he came to be mistaken in the Tyde? he answer'd, Accidents would happen'd sometimes, but there was no Danger. Then running on in a Strain of Sailors Cant, he said, God was at Sea as well as at Land, that the Lord wou'd protect 'em if they did but put their Trust in him, and love him as they ought. In the middle of this moral Lesson, the Ship was gently wafted off the Sands by the Tyde, and Sails being abroad spread, the Ship sail'd merrily along. 'Twas surprizing to observe the Alteration in every bodies Countenance; the Women began to Laugh and Giggle; the Men began to rally one another for want of Courage; the Sailors began to raise their Note higher and higher, and the Master of the Ship turn'd his Sermon into a Volley of Oaths and Curses against his Crew; and thus in an instant, from a profound Silence we recover'd our selves again to Noise and Hurry. That Day brought us to _Gravesend_, where we took Boat, and so arriv'd safe at _London_, though I was not very well pleas'd with those small Boats People usually pass in from _Gravesend_ to _London_, for I understood they were often Overset by sudden Gusts of Wind which blow from the Shoar.

_London_ is a Place above my Description, and though I lost no Time the six Months I remain'd there, to view what Curiosities were to be seen, yet 'tis probable many Things worthy of Observation escaped my Diligence. I took a particular care not to make my self Public, but pass'd at my Lodgings under Disguise of a Merchant, yet abroad I acted the Marquess, not to be depriv'd of the Means of introducing my self into the best of Company. I found they were much divided in _England_ as to the _French_ Politicks; some were of Opinion that _Lewis_ XIV was serious in King _James_'s Cause, but these were Persons who had no Notion of Foreign Affairs, and judg'd of Matters according to their first Appearance; for others who had studied the Interest of Nations, and how their Pretensions he in regard of one another, had no Notion of the _French_ King's Sincerity, either towards King _James_, or any other Prince he dealt with, and there is not one Instance I have mention'd in these Memoirs, in order to demonstrate the Infatuated State of the Court of St. _Germains_, but I heard it frequently urg'd to the same purpose, by the most intelligent Persons, as well Friends as Enemies to King _James_. While I was diverting my self at _London_, I receiv'd a Letter from _Paris_, that there was a Lieutenant Collonel's Place vacant, which I might easily be promoted to in Case I wou'd be at the trouble to, make use of what Interest I might reasonably Command. But I quickly understood, that by my Interest was meant my Money, so employing my _Amsterdam_ Stock that way, I might very probably by a _French_ Piece of Civility, live to want both my Money and a Commission. I return'd a thousand Thanks to my Friends for their Diligence in my Absence, but told 'em, I had rather wait till another War broke out, and their would be more choice of Promotions, and I might please my self, because I was somewhat curious what Regiment I engag'd in.

It was a tedious Journey to go into _Scotland_ by Land, otherwise I was very much disposed to see my own Country once more, and apprehending besides, there might be some Danger upon account of being engaged in the _French_ Service during this late War. I laid these Thoughts aside, and contented my self with making a small Tour Twenty or Thirty Miles distance from _London_, in which Progrination I saw _Windsor_, _Greenwich_, _Hampton-Court_, and some other Places of Note. But in one of these Jaunts, I had like to have paid very dear for my Curiosity. The Neighbourhood of _London_ is much infested with Highwaymen, and if a Gentleman rides not with Pistols, 'tis very probable he will be attack'd. Unacquainted with these Customs, the Day I went to _Windsor_, I had in Company with me an _Irish_ Gentleman; we made use of nothing but common Hacks, nor had any other Arms but our Swords; about the middle of _Honslow Heath_ we met two Gentlemen well mounted, who pass'd by us unsuspected, but turning suddenly upon us again, with each of 'em a small Pistol cock'd, they very civilly demanded our Money. Gentlemen, said I, I am a Stranger; no Gentlemen said they, come quickly deliver what you have, we are in a publick Road, and can't stand arguing; but finding us a little Dilatory, they whip'd the Bridles from our Horfes, cut our Garths, and so dismounted us; and so I and my Companion were very dexterously strip'd of what they found in our Pockets, which was all I had about me, but my Friend reserv'd two or three Guineas in his Fob. When they had finish'd their Business, they gallop'd different ways cross the Heath, and left us like a couple of Asses, to drive our Horses to the next Town, and carry the Saddles under our Arms; but by the Invention of our Garters, and some other such like Tackle, we halter'd our Steeds till we cou'd refit our selves better. What we lost was but a Trifle, and 'twas done in so small a space of Time, that appear'd like a Dream or passing Thought. It was happy either for us or them, that this happen'd in the Morning when our Heads were cool, for had they attack'd us when warm'd up with good Liquor, I believe I should have had little regard to those Pop-guns they threatened us with. When we came to the next Town, and gave the People an account of our Disaster; the Landlord of the Inn ask'd us, if we had ever been upon that Road before, and we inform'd him this was the first time, then said I have Authority to enroll you as Freemen upon the small Fee of each a Bottle of Wine, and this I take to be no Imposition, because I am plac'd here in a convenient Part of the Country to advance a small sum to such as are robb'd of all they have, and cannot pursue their Journey; so Gentlemen, if that be your Condition, I have a couple of Guineas ready for you, which I will lend upon Honour, but in Case it be not a clean Robbery, what you have conceal'd from the Diligent Highwaymen is the Landlord's Fee as far as each a Bottle of Wine. This Merry Landlord I thought was very conveniently posted to divert People after their Misfortunes, we never went about to examine him, whether his Demand was customary, or only a Piece of shire Wit, and an extemporary Instance of his prolifick Genius, but sat down, and made our selves most immoderately drunk. The Landlord discanted very copiously upon the ancient and modern Practise of Robbing upon the Road, and seem'd very much inclin'd to lessen the Crime. Formerly, said he, no Body robb'd upon the Road but base scoundrel Fellows; but now 'tis become a Gentleman-like Employment, and young Brothers of very good Families are not asham'd to spend their time that way; besides the Practise is very much refin'd as to the manner, there's no Fighting or Hectoring during the Performance, but these Gentlemen approach you decently and submissive, with their Hat in their Hand to know your Pleasure, and what you can well afford to support them in that Dignity they live in: 'Tis true, says he, they often for Form sake have a Pistol in their Hand, which is part of their riding Furniture; but that is only in the Nature of a Petition, to let you know they are Orphans of Providence just fallen under your Protection. In a Word, demanding Money upon the Road, is now so agreeably perform'd, that 'tis much the same with asking an Alms. The poor Beggar wou'd rob you if he durst, and the Gentleman Beggar will not rob you if you will but give a decent Alms suitable to his Quality. I thought my time so well spent to hear this Landlord plead in favour of Padding, that I told my Companion I had often known the time that I wou'd have willingly have parted with more Money than I was strip'd of upon the Heath, to have some Melancholly Thoughts driven away by such a merry Companion.

The Time drawing near that I prescribed to my self to remain in _England_, we were now advis'd to return by the short Sea, which we perform'd without any Let or remarkable Accident. I have observ'd towards the beginning of these Memoirs, that the War begun in 1688, was undertaken in Defence of Cardinal _Fastenberg_ to the Electorate of _Cologn_; the next War was for the Mornarchy of _Spain_, but the Restoration of King _James_ was always a material Article, and a very useful Circumstance of the War. I need not acquaint the Reader how _France_ was reduced in this last bloody War, her best Troops ruin'd, incapable to win a Battle, every Campaign carry'd two or three of their best Towns, the Nation dispirited, and Credit sunk, and nothing but a dismal Scene of Poverty and Misery: And yet in the midst of all this Misery, (as the _Spanish_ Beggars are said to strut about in their Cloak and Bilboes at their Side) so this Gasping Monarch had the Assurance not only to talk of making a Descent, but actually equipp'd a small nimble Fleet with a Body of Men, and persuaded the Pretender to go upon the foolish Errand, as if he you'd have any prospect of Conquering the Three Kingdoms, who was in danger every Moment of having his Capital Sack'd and himself turn'd out of his Throne. Cou'd there be a more Romantick Undertaking, or more unintelligible in all its Circumstances, than the Pretender's Descent upon _Scotland_? The deluded Youth was carry'd to the Coast of _Scotland_, but upon what Design, is a Secret to this Day. He was made to believe at his departure from _Dunkirk_, that _Scotland_ was dissatisfy'd to a Man upon account of the Union, and that it wou'd be an easie matter to Conquer _England_ by putting himself at the Head of a _Scotch_ Army; but when he desired to be landed to put the Project in Execution, the _French_ General told him, he had Orders from his great Master, that there should be no Landing. Now whether this was part of the old Game, and only in Order to make a Diversion, or to surprize _Edinburgh_ Castle, where most of the Specie of _Scotland_ was said to be lodg'd at that time, is various alledg'd by Men of Speculation. That there was no appearance of succeeding in the main, is pretty plain from many Circumstances. _England_ with their Allies at that Time were in a Capacity to spare 50000 Men, against which a few poor scrambling _Highland_ Foot, wou'd but have made a very bad Resistance. I am not willing to think _France_ would send Princes a Pilfering, or that the Pretender was design'd to steal the Money out of _Edinburgh_ Castle, a Stratagem much more decently committed to some Partisan, or three or four _Dunkirk_ Privateers. So I think it more suitable to the Prudence, and for the Honour of the _French_ Court, to mention this design'd Descent only as a Diversion to amuse and employ the _British_ Troops at Home, that they might not annoy the Enemy in _Flanders_. But how this Affair will be reconcil'd to that Affection and Friendship _Lewis_ XIV. seem'd to have at that time for the Pretender, I am at a loss, with the rest of Mankind, to account for, since it was exposing him to the greatest of hazards for a Trifle, and throwing up the Cause at once, had he fallen into the Hands of his Enemies, and 'tis not the least Miracle of his Life that he escap'd them. I was invited to have gone abroad with the Pretender upon this Expedition, being than Free, but the Project appear'd to me so full of Inconsistencies, I have frequently since enlarg'd upon my own Politicks and Foresight in that Affair.

Thus much I must say for the Jacobite Party, never were Men more baffled and rallied oftner upon Projects or Hopes, but the unwholesome Diet never turn into the Substance, but infects the Body with peccant Humours, which now and then are discharg'd by Phlegbotomy, and then they turn to a Gangreen by Amputation. Jacobitism (I speak of it in relation to the strong Hopes they have of succeeding by a _French_ Power) is an uncurable Distemper. I have often wonder'd to hear Persons, otherwise of great Penetration and Sense, grow constantly Delirious upon this Topick. The Wagers that have been lost upon that very Prospect wou'd have purchas'd him a little Kingdom. Time has open'd a great many People's Eyes; but there is a set of Men who are enslaved to the _French_ Projects, and so far infatuated, that nothing can cure them. If fooling him with sham Descents, neglecting all Opportunities of assisting, if banishing him, excluding him by solemn Articles, will not satisfy 'em as to this Particular, 'tis my Opinion they wou'd not be convinc'd, if they should see _France_ chaffering for his Head, and finish the Twenty Eight Years old Politicks with 100000_l_. being what is set upon it. There is no extraordinary difference between disposing of another Man's Right, and disposing of his Person. There was a Time when _France_ gloried in the Ostentatious Title of being the Assylum of distress'd Monarchs, and I remember I was once dispos'd to have almost deify'd their Monarch upon that Score; but when I took the Frame of his Politics, and examin'd every Wheel and Spring by which they moved, I rescued my self from the Prejudices I had been nurs'd up in; and though I always pursu'd the same End, yet I was a constant Enemy to their Method, which I was convinc'd were all directed another Way, and that a Restoration upon a _French_ Footing was a Chimerical Project, and that if it had taken Effect by their Arms, _England_ must have had another Doomsday-Book, and have suffer'd once more under an Arbitary Discipline, more dreadful than that of _William the Conqueror_, from whom _England_ has been struggling to retrieve her self ever since. I had formerly made a Resolution with my self not to hearken to a Love-Intrigue, but upon a Prospect of putting an end to such Amusements. The long time I had been out of the Army, gave me several Opportunities to make Enquiry after a Person who was capable of making me happy in that Respect. I took a singular Care when any Thing was offer'd that way, to consult my Reason more than my Passions, and had fix'd before my Eyes, the per-plex'd State I liv'd in those Weeks I held a Correspondence with the _Spanish_ Lady. 'Tis a dangerous practice when a Person shuts his Eyes among Precipices, and neglects Consultation where the Choice is hazardous. There liv'd in _Paris_ a Collonel's Widow, neither very young, nor very handsome. The intimacy I had with her Husband, who was kill'd in _Italy_, brought me first acquainted with her. Her discreet Carriage in a great variety of intricate Circumstances had often Charm'd me. There was no Difficulty in a marriage State, but she had struggled with it; a morose Husband, the Death of an only Child, the Gripes of Poverty when her Consort was in the Army and lavish'd away his Income, were great Tryals in which she always Triumph'd, and wore a stoical Constancy without any Reservedness. She had a large Pension allow'd her for Life, upon account of her Husband's Merits, who had done great Service during the Wars. Under these Circumstances I attack'd, rather like a Judicious than a Passionate Lover. The Method I took with her, was quite different to what I observ'd in pursuing my _Spanish_ Mistress. There was no Balls, Treats, nor Serenading, we both knew the World too well, either She to expect, or I to offer her such Entertainments. In a Word, our whole Discourse when I visited ran upon Oeconemy and Morals. It was not long before she understood my Meaning, and that my repeated Visits tended towards Marriage. She alledg'd several Things to divert me from it; that she was tired with being an Officer's Wife, which oblig'd either to a rambling Method of Living, or to labour under great Inconveniences, and that I, perhaps, might not make the best of Husbands, that State being a Lottery full of Blanks. I had nothing more pertinent to alledge upon this Occasion, than to assure her, that during my Absence in the Army she should never be unprovided with what would make her easie, and for being a good Husband, I gave her all the Assurances that such a Matter was capable of, and at the same time made her the Compliment, that in case any misunderstanding should ever happen between us, her approv'd Conduct and Discretion would certainly declare me Guilty. In conclusion, I put on the Trummels, and never question'd but I had made the most prudential Choice that any Person could do; but there is something in Woman-kind which can never be found out by Study or Reflection. 'Tis only Experience that can School a Husband, and can give him a true Idea of that mysterious Creature; for in less than Twelve Months my Thousand Pounds which I had so carefully kept unbroke at _Amsterdam_ was all dispos'd of, my Soldiers Pay being my only Subsistance for myself and Family, my Wife reserving her own Income for Pin-mony; my Credit very low, my Days very irksome upon many accounts, and I who had hitherto appear'd with Assurance in Company, because of my Money-merit, was now Neglected; for every Tradesman began to smell out my Poverty. I am of Opinion it would do Posterity no kindness, if I shou'd discover how I came to be ruin'd by a Prudent Wife, for no Body wou'd Credit me. If I should advise 'em to trust no Woman living, so as to give her full Scope upon an Opinion of her Conduct. I took my self to be as wise, upon this Head, as any Man living. It had been my Study above twenty Years. There is a secret Devil in every Woman, which is often Conjur'd down by a Husband's Temper; and though many Men may pass for bad Husbands by their Morose Carriage, 'tis less prejudicial, than that Indulgence which few Women have Discretion to make use of. My Wife's first Husband was represented as not very kind to her, whereas his less obliging Temper was the Effect of his Judgment, and a touch of Skill he had in managing a Woman, whom Caresses wou'd have exalted into Impertinence, _&c._