Chapter VIII: Part 8

Another story, contrived in the same view we speak of, is to be found in Thomas _de Chantpré’s_ Book, in which it is related of a certain Hugh, a Canon of St. Victor, that, having on account of his weak state of health, constantly forbore, during his life-time, the use of flagellations, he paid dearly afterwards for this tender care he had taken of his skin; for at his passage into Purgatory, the whole tribe of Devils lashed him with scourges. ‘Hugh (says Thomas de Chantpré) was one of the Regular Monks in the Monastery of St. Victor, in Paris. He was called the second St. Austin, that is to say, the second Man in point of learning since St. Austin; but though he deserved much praise in that respect, yet, the same cannot be said of his constant refusal to practice flagellations and disciplines, for his quotidian misdeeds, either in private, or in the Chapter, in company with the Brothers: he was, as I have been informed, of a tender frame of body, and had, besides, been too much indulged in his childhood. Now, because he took no pains to overcome by exercise the defect of his nature, or rather his bad habit, very fatal consequences ensued to him, as I am going to relate. Being near his death, a brother Canon, who was his intimate friend, intreated him to shew himself again to him, after he was dead. I will, says he, if the Master of life and death consents to it. As Hugh was making this promise, he died; nor was it long before he returned to his friend, who was still in expectation of him, and said, Here I am; make haste to ask what question you intend to ask, for I cannot stay. The other, who, though he was exceedingly pleased, yet was not a little frighted, said, How is it with you, my dear friend? It is well with me, said Hugh; but because I have refused, while I was alive, to receive discipline, there has hardly been a single Devil in the whole infernal empire, but who gave me a smart lash, as I was in my way to Purgatory.’

Others, in order to bring flagellations into still greater credit, have supposed that the Devils themselves were so sensible of the merit that was in them, that they would occasionally practise them upon each other. Thus, St. Allen relates that the Holy Virgin Mary having resolved to rescue a certain James Hall, an Usurer, from the claws of the Dæmons, these unclean spirits, a great number of whom were present, no sooner saw her make her appearance, than they took to blaspheming, flagellated each other, and ran away.

The Devil himself has also, on certain occasions, prescribed flagellations, as an atonement for sins; which is certainly wonderful enough. It is related in the Life of St. Virgil, that a Man possessed by the Devil, was fustigated with four rods, by the Devil’s prescription, for having stolen four wax-candles from the Saint’s altar. ‘I am not come (said the possessed Man) of my own accord; but I have been compelled to it: I have carried off the wax-candles and offerings that were on the tomb of the Man of God; and if they are not speedily returned, my Master will come with seven spirits worse than himself, and will for ever continue in me. However, when the candles, of which they had been a long while in search, were found again, by the Devil’s assistance, and brought back, the Devil directed them to fustigate the unhappy Man with as many besoms as there were candles.’

To these instances of flagellations voluntarily practiced among Devils, we ought not to omit to add one, in which the Devil was smartly flagellated in spite of his teeth, by a Saint, and a female Saint too; a fact which cannot fail to give the greatest pleasure to the Reader, who remembers the deplorable accounts that have been given in a former Chapter, of the wanton flagellations he has himself inflicted upon Saints. The name of the female Saint who thus gave the Devil his due, was _Cornelia Juliana_, as the Reverend Father Jesuit, Bartholomew Fisen, relates, in his book on the _Ancient Origin of the Festival of the body of Christ_. ‘One day (says he) the other Nuns heard a prodigious noise in the room of Cornelia Juliana, which turned out to be a strife she had with the Devil, whom, after having laid hold of him, she fustigated unmercifully; then, having thrown him upon the ground, she trampled him under her foot, and continued ridiculing him in the most bitter manner[108].’ The above Reverend Father has neglected to inform us, how the Devil came to be in Juliana’s room; but it is most likely he was come upon his usual antic errand of flagellating Saints, and meant to serve Juliana in the same manner: fortunately she was upon the watch, and proved too many for him. As for the dreadful noise that was to be heard in the Saint’s room, it was the natural consequence of the hard struggle that took place between her and the Devil, while they were thus striving who should flog the other.

The Saints who inhabit Paradise have also been supposed to have occasionally recourse to flagellations; not, to be sure, to inflict them any longer upon themselves; but to chastise, at the request of their friends, those who persecuted them. This misfortune happened to a certain Servant of the Emperor Nicephorus, who, not satisfied with exacting unjust tributes from the common people with great rigour, offered afterwards to use Monasteries in the same manner. ‘The Emperor (says the Author from whom this fact is extracted) sent one of the Grooms of his bed-chamber to receive the usual tribute. As he was a Man exceedingly eager after money and unlawful gain, he committed great oppressions both on the common citizens, and the inhabitants of the Monastery of St. Nicon; for the government of cities, and the care of levying duties, are usually intrusted, not to the just and mild, but to hard-hearted and inhuman persons. The Monks, who were possessed of no money, endeavoured to sooth the above cruel unmerciful Man by their discourses; but he, thirsty after gold, was as deaf to their prayers, as the asp to conjurations, and made no more account of their remonstrances, than, to use the words of the Scripture, of _the crackling of thorns under a pot_. On the contrary, his wrath and insolence increasing farther, he caused several of them to be thrown into a jail, and prepared to plunder the Monastery. The remaining Monks then applied to their Saint for assistance, who presently made them experience the happy effects of it; for during the following night, he appeared to the Groom, with a threatening indignant aspect, and lashed him severely; then speaking to him, told him, for his words ought to be recorded, _Thou hast thrown the Heads of the Monastery into chains; if thou dost not release them instantly, thy death shall be the consequence_.’

The Virgin Mary herself, has also been said to have applied to corrections of the same kind as those here alluded to, in order to avenge the injustices done to those whom she protected; and she, for instance, caused a certain Bishop to be flagellated in her presence, who had taken his prebend from a Canon, who was indeed, but an indifferent person to fill his office, but who paid much devotion to her, and with his eyes cast down, sung every day before her Altar certain words contained in the _Angelic salutation_. The illustrious Cardinal Damian informs us of this fact, in his _Opusc._ xxxiii. _Cap._ iii. which is entitled, _The blessed Virgin directs that his prebend should be returned to a Clergyman who used to pay devotion to her_. ‘The same Stephanus (says Cardinal Damian) related to me another fact of much the same kind. I remember, he said, that there was a certain Clergyman, who was a dunce, an idle man, a dullard; to this add that he was endowed with no religious gift, and possessed no canonical gravity. Yet, amidst the dead ashes of his useless life, some small particles of pious fire continued to subsist, so that he would every day approach the altar of the holy Mother, and, inclining his head with reverence, sing the following both _angelic_ and _evangelic_ line, _Hail, Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among Women_. The new Bishop, however, who soon discovered the incapacity of the Man, thought it wrong that an useful office should be left to an useless person, and he took from him the prebend he had obtained from the preceding Bishop. But as the Canon was thereby reduced to great poverty, having no other means of supporting himself, the blessed Virgin interfered in his behalf. During the dead of night she appeared to the Bishop, preceded by a Man who carried a discipline in one of his hands, and a burning torch in the other, and ordered him to chastise the Bishop by some lashes of it; then addressing this latter,--Why, said she, did you take from a Man who used to pay daily homages to me, a clerical advantage it was not you who had conferred on him? The Bishop, filled with terror, and soon awaking from his sleep, presently returned the prebend to the Clergyman, and afterwards greatly honoured as a Man whom God loved, a person who, he thought, was unknown to him.’

FOOTNOTES:

[108] _Corneliæ sodales ingentem aliquando audierunt strepitum ex ejus cubiculo, & contentionem Julianæ adversus dæmonem, quem manibus comprehensum quanti poterat cædebat; in terram deinde prostratum pedibus obterebat, lacerabat sarcasmis._

CHAP. XXI.

_A remarkable instance of a flagellation performed in honour of the
Virgin Mary._

So well established was the opinion that Saints, and especially the Virgin Mary, were to be appeased by flagellations, and such was, in general, the fondness of people during a certain period of time, for that pious mode of correction, that a Franciscan Monk, who wore a hood, and was girt with a cord, did not scruple, under the Pontificate of Sixtus IV, to expose to the open day, in the public market-place, the bare rump of a Professor in Divinity, and lashed him with his hand, in sight of a croud of astonished spectators, because he had preached against the immaculate conception of the blessed Virgin. The fact is related in a Sermon written by Bernardinus _de Bustis_, which, together with his whole Work in honour of the Virgin (_Opus Mariale_) he dedicated to Pope Alexander VI, and seems therefore to be a fact well enough authenticated: the following is the manner in which Bernardinus gives the account.

‘He laid hold of him, and threw him upon his knees; for he was very strong. Having then taken up his gown; because this Minister had spoken against the holy _Tabernacle_ of God, he began to lash him with the palm of his hand upon his huge breech, (the Author’s expression is, upon his _square tabernacles_) which was bare; for he wore neither drawers nor breeches: and because he had attempted to slander the blessed Virgin, by quoting perhaps Aristotle in the book of _Priors_, this Preacher confuted him by reading in the book of his Posteriors; which greatly diverted the Bystanders. Then a certain female Devotee exclaimed, saying, Mr. Preacher, give him four more slaps for my sake: another presently after said, Give him also four more for me; and so did a number of others: so that if he had attempted to grant all their requests, he would have had nothing else to do for the whole day[109].’

Nay, so proper did Bernardinus de Bustis think the above correction to have been, so well calculated did he judge it, to appease the holy Virgin’s wrath, that he did not scruple to declare, in the sequel of his Sermon, that the Monk who inflicted it, had possibly been actuated by an inspiration from the Virgin herself. ‘Perhaps (says he) was it the Virgin herself, who induced him so to do, moreover granting him an exemption from the censures incurred, according to the Laws of the Church, by those who strike an Ecclesiastic, and relaxing the rigour of these laws in his favour[110].’

FOOTNOTES:

[109] _Apprehendens ipsum, revolvit super ejus genua; erat enim valdè fortis. Elevatis itaque pannis, quia ille Minister contrà sanctum Dei tabernaculum locutus fuerat, cœpit cum palmis percutere super quadrata tabernacula, quæ erant nuda, non enim habebat femoralia vel antiphonam; & quia ipse infamare voluerat beatam Virginem, allegando forsitan Aristotelem in Libro Priorum, iste Prædicator illum confutavit legendo in libro ejus Posteriorum: de hoc autem omnes qui aderant, gaudebant. Tunc exclamavit quædam devota mulier, dicens, Domine Prædicator, detis ei alias quatuor palmatas pro me; & alia postmodum dixit, detis ei etiam quatuor; sicque multæ aliæ rogabant; ità quòd si illarum petitionibus satisfacere voluisset, per totum diem aliud facere non potuisset._----In Opere Mariali, _Serm. viii._ de Conceptione Beatæ Virginis, _circ. fin._

[110] There prevails, as may have been perceived, a kind of competition between the Abbé Boileau and me, who shall find out the best story, which is extremely for the benefit of the Reader. However, the story above quoted from Bernardinus _de Bustis_, with which we are supplied by the Abbé’s book, is so good in itself, so full of Attic salt, so well in the true Monkish style, that I despair of producing any thing that can match it. I will try, therefore, to make up in number what I may want in point of intrinsic merit; and, instead of one story, I will relate two; which, that I may keep as near to my model as may be (for here it inspires me with uncommon emulation) will both have Friars for their object, and be of the same turn with the above.

The first is contained in the book of the _Apologie pour Hérodote_, the Author of which says he heard it from a Gentlewoman of Lorrain, who had been an eye-witness to it. A Monk, one day, preached in a Country Church, upon the subject of Hell. He took much pains to inspire his Congregation with a great aversion for the place, and made as frightful a description of it as he could; but now and then, pretending that proper expressions failed him, he stopped suddenly, and then exclaimed,--In short, Hell is as horrid as the breech of the Bell-ringer of the Parish; which saying, he uncovered the posteriors of the latter, who had placed himself there for that purpose, and had agreed with the Friar to act that farce with him.

The second story I propose to relate, which I do not remember where I have read, perhaps in the same book above quoted, is that of another jolly Predicant Friar, who laid a wager he would make one half of his Congregation laugh, and the other cry. As for making his hearers cry, it was what he had often succeeded in doing, being a very good preacher. On the appointed day, he accordingly came to Church, provided with an excellent Sermon, with that, of his stock, which he knew was most likely to produce the desired effect, and he presently after began reciting it; for they never read their Sermons. But, before I proceed farther, I must inform the Reader that the pulpit in which he preached, stood in the middle of the Church; and, besides leaving the door behind him open, he had found means to adjust his gown and breeches in such a manner, that he might let the latter fall down whenever he pleased. When he had gone through the greater part of his preaching, and his hearers were very near being in the necessary disposition to make him win one half of the wager, he, on a sudden, let his breeches drop upon his heels, and exhibited, to use the expression of Bernardinus _de Bustis_, his square tabernacles to the full view of that part of the Congregation who were seated behind the pulpit. With respect to him, however, pretending to perceive nothing of the matter, and to be wholly taken up with his Sermon, he went on with it as before: and as he had now reached the latter part of it, consequently that which contained his most interesting descriptions as well as strongest arguments, he exerted so much eloquence in it, and such a power of declamation, that that part of the Congregation who were placed in front of the pulpit, were really melting in tears, while those who sat behind, minding less what they heard than what they saw, were in a situation of mind quite different; and it is needless to say that the Friar won the wager.

To the above stories a number of others of the same kind might be added; which, though it might be a hard matter to vouch for their truth, yet are related by different Authors in a very serious manner, and such as shews that they hoped their accounts would be believed. Thus, the Author of the _Apologie pour Hérodote_, says he had heard the story he mentions, from a person who had been an eye-witness to it. And Bernardinus _de Bustis_, not only pretends he greatly approves the fact he relates, which he represents as having been peculiarly agreeable to the Virgin, but has moreover inserted it in a Sermon which he published, and dedicated to a Pope.

From the above stories, as well as from many others related in the same manner, we are therefore at least to conclude, that they bear great resemblance to a number of facts which commonly happened in the times of the Authors who relate them; and we may thence admire the singular licence of manners which prevailed among Monks and the Clergy in general, during a certain period of time: a licence which we find to have especially obtained when, being the dominant, or rather the sole Christian Church that existed, they were without rivals or competitors; and it may really be said, that the event of the Reformation proved, in several respects, as much a reformation for them, as for those who expressly adopted it.

CHAP. XXII.

_Another Story of a female Saint appeased by a flagellation._

And not only the Virgin Mary, but other female Saints, inhabitants of Paradise, have also been thought to be extremely well disposed to be appeased, when they had received offence, by flagellatory corrections. The following Story is to be found in the Book intitled, _Itinerarium Cambriæ_, wrote by Sylvester Geraldus, a native of the Country of Wales, who wrote about the year 1188.

‘In the Northern borders of England, and on the other side of the river Humber, in the Parish of Hooëden, lived the Rector of that Church, with his Concubine. This Concubine, one day sat rather imprudently, on the tomb of St. Osanna, sister to King Osred, which was made of wood, and raised above the ground in the shape of a seat. When she attempted to rise from the place, her posteriors stuck to the wood in such a manner, that she never could be parted from it, till, in the presence of the people who ran to see her, she had suffered her clothes to be torn from her, and had received a severe discipline on her naked body, and that, to a great effusion of blood, and with many tears and devout supplications on her part: which done, and after she had engaged to submit to farther penitence, she was divinely released[111].’

FOOTNOTES:

[111] ... _Quæ cum recedere vellet, fixis ligno natibus, evelli non potuit, &c.--Itinerarii Cambriæ, Lib. I._

This opinion of Catholic Divines concerning the great power of flagellations to appease the wrath of female Saints, and the content which they have supposed the latter to receive from such ceremonies, after the example of the antient Goddesses, might furnish a new subject of comparison between the Catholic Religion, and that of the ancient Heathens; and if Dr. Middleton had thought of it, he might have added a new article on that head, to his _Letter from Rome_.

In fact, the Reader may remember the account that has been given in the sixth Chapter of this Book, of the singular ceremonies that were exhibited at Lacedæmon, before the altar of Diana. (_See_ p. 79, &c.) The same was done sometimes before the altar of Juno. Rites of much the same flagellatory kind were practised in the Temple of the Goddess of Syria. And similar ceremonies also used to be performed in honour of the _great Goddess_, in Egypt. (_See_ p. 85, 86.)

So prevalent was become the opinion that Goddesses delighted in seeing such corrections inflicted before their altars, that several of them, among whom was Venus herself, were supposed to be supplied with the necessary implements to inflict them with their own hands, occasionally (p. 55). Nay, the Muses themselves had been provided with instruments of the same kind: Lucian, in his Letter or Address “to an ignorant Man who was taking much pains in collecting a Library,” says to him, that the Muses will drive him from Parnassus, with their _whips of myrtle_. And Bellona, the Goddess of war, has also been armed by Virgil, in the 8th Book of his Æneid, with an enormous whip.

_Quem cùm sanguineo sequitur Bellona flagelio._

These notions of the Ancients, concerning the inclination they attributed to Goddesses, for corrections of the kind here alluded to, may be explained in different ways.

In the first place, they perhaps thought it was owing to the greater irascibility of temper of the Sex, which prompts them to give effectual marks of their resentment, when they have good reason to think that no resistance will be attempted. In the second place, they possibly ascribed that inclination they supposed in the female Sex, to their love of justice; which is certainly a very laudable disposition. And, thirdly, they perhaps also considered that propensity of Women, to use instruments which were, in those times, deemed to be characteristic emblems of power, as the effect of that love of dominion with which the Sex has at all times been charged, and the consequence of some ambitious wish they supposed in them, of having the uncontrouled sway of the terrible _flagellum_.

However, if I am allowed to deliver my opinion concerning the above inclination of the fair Sex, about which the Antients seem to have entertained so great a prepossession, I will say that I think it owing to the second of the causes abovementioned, that is to say, to their laudable love of justice, and at the same time, to the peculiar nature of the Sex, which makes them feel a great reluctance in using any instruments, either of a cruel, or an unwieldly and ungraceful kind, for instance fire-arms or javelins, swords or clubs, but prompts them to employ, when they mean to give effectual tokens of their resentment, instruments suitable to the mercifulness of their tempers, and the elegance of their manners.

Of this love of justice inherent in Women, a singular instance occurs in the Greek History. I mean to speak of the flagellations which Ladies, in Lacedæmon, who had reached a certain age without finding husbands, used to bestow, before the altar of Juno, upon such Men as continued past a certain time of life, to live in an unmarried state. These flagellations the unmarried Lacedæmonian Ladies (no doubt through the long use they had made of them) had at last converted into an express right; and the ceremony was performed every year, during a certain solemnity established for that purpose. Whether they flagellated all the unmarried Men without exception, who came within the words of the regulation on that subject, Historians have neglected to inform us: perhaps they served in that manner only a certain number, in order to shew the right they had of flagellating all the rest.

Nor have Women of modern times less distinguished themselves than the Greek Ladies, by their love of justice, or paid less regard to elegance in their choice of the means they have employed to avenge the insults they may have received.

In fact, we have seen in the present Chapter, that the persons who have raised the fabric of the Catholick Church, or rather Creed, persons who certainly were good observers of the manners of Mankind, have given the same inclination and the same attributes, to their female inhabitants of Paradise, as the Ancients had given to their Goddesses. And conclusions to the same effect may be derived from the works of imagination of a number of respectable modern Authors, who have all given to the Ladies of whom they had occasion to speak, the same elegant dispositions we mention, and made them act, when offended, upon the same principles as the Ladies in Lacedæmon: these works I do not scruple to mention as weighty authorities; for though they may be, as I said, works in appearance of imagination merely, yet it is well known that such great Authors, when they relate any stories, always allude to certain facts of which they have either been eye-witnesses, or received assured information.

And to quote one or two on the subject, we find that the celebrated La Fontaine, in one of his Tales which he has entitled _The Pair of Spectacles_, makes certain Nuns, who, as they thought, had had a great affront put upon their Monastery, have immediate recourse to the elegant method of revenge here alluded to. The story is as follows.

Several Nuns, in a certain Convent, were found to be in a situation which, though pretty natural for Women to be in, yet was not quite so with Women who were supposed to have constantly lived inclosed in the same walls with other Women, and made the Abbess judiciously conclude that some _male_ Nun was harboured among them, or, as it was expressed, that some wolf lay hidden among the sheep: a suspicion which, by the by, was well grounded; for a young Man, who had as yet no beard, had found means to introduce himself into the Convent, where he lived, dressed like the Sisters, and was reckoned one among them. In order both to ascertain such suspicion, and discover so dangerous a person, all the Nuns were ordered into one room, and there made to strip themselves stark naked; when the Abbess, with her spectacles on her nose (whence the Tale has received its name) inspected them all, one after another, carefully. To relate how the young Man, notwithstanding the ingenious precautions he had taken, came to be found out, and how the Abbess’s spectacles were thrown from her nose and broken, is foreign to our subject: let it here suffice to say that the young Man was really found out; and that the Nuns, except those who had been concerned with him, who were previously locked up in a safe place,--that the Nuns, I say, laid hold of him, led him into a wood that stood close to their Convent, and there tied him to a tree, naked as he was, in order to make him atone for his audaciousness by a smart flagellation. Having forgotten to supply themselves with the necessary instruments of correction, they ran back to the Convent to fetch them, and whether from the mislaying of a key, or some other accident, were detained a little time. In the mean time a Miller, riding upon his Ass, went through the wood; and seeing the young Man in the abovementioned plight, stopped, and asked him the reason of it: to which the latter made answer, that it was those wicked Nuns who had put him in that situation, because he would not gratify their wanton requests; that he had rather die than be guilty of such thing. The Miller then cast upon him a look of the utmost contempt ... but it will be better to refer the Reader to the abovementioned Author himself, for the inimitable Dialogue that passed between the young Man and the Miller: here it will be enough to say, that this latter proposed to the other to put himself in his place, and warranted him he would behave in quite a different manner, and much more to the satisfaction of the Nuns than he had done. The young Man had no need of much encouragement to accept the proposal: after the Miller had released him, and stripped himself, he tied him fast to the same tree, and had just time enough to steal away, and hide himself behind some neighbouring bush, when the Nuns rushed again out of the same door at which they had got in, armed with all the disciplines and besoms they had been able to find in the Convent. They immediately marched up to the person who was tied to the tree, and without minding the broad shoulders and brawny limbs which were now offered to their view, began to use their disciplines with great agility. In vain did the Miller expostulate with them on their using him so ill: in vain did he remonstrate that he was not the Man whom they took him to be; that he was not that beardless stripling, that milk-sop simpleton, with whom they had formerly had to do, that woman-hater who had given them so just a cause of dissatisfaction; that they ought to try him before they entertained so bad an opinion of him:--in vain did he even at last, in the extremity of pain, apply to the utmost powers of his native language, to convey to them the clearest ideas he could, both to those wishes he supposed in them, and of his great abilities to gratify them: the more loudly and clearly he spoke, the more unmercifully they laid on, and only left him when they had worn out their disciplines.

Cervantes likewise, whose authority is equal to that of any Author, and who has moreover thrown a great light upon the subject of flagellations, has introduced a fact which greatly serves to confirm the observations we are discussing here. I mean to speak of what happened in that memorable night in which the Senora Rodriguez paid a visit to the valorous Don Quixote, in his bed. That Gentlewoman having, in the course of the conversation she had with the Knight, dropped several reflections of a very bad kind on the Duchess and the fair Altisidora, who were at that very instant listening at the door, these two Ladies, though justly and greatly offended at the liberty that was thus taken with their character, recurred to no expedient of a coarse and rough kind to avenge the insult; but they immediately applied to the summary, yet smart,--genteel, yet effectual, mode of correction here alluded to, namely, a flagellation. And here the Author we mention has taken an opportunity of giving a singular instance of the readiness of wit of the fair Sex, and of the quickness with which they usually extricate themselves out of the seemingly most perplexing difficulties. The Duchess and Altisidora were entirely destitute of the necessary instruments to inflict the chastisement they had resolved upon; but they had the great presence of mind to think of using their slippers for that purpose: they presently pulled them off their feet; bounced the door open; ran to the Senora Rodriguez; in the twinkling of an eye made her ready for flagellation, and immediately began to exert their new weapons with great dexterity. Thence, still in the dark, they passed to the astonished Knight, who lay snug in his bed, and who, by his listening to the stories of the Senora, and also by his questions, had encouraged her to proceed in her reflections (a thing which he might full as well have avoided doing) and bestowed upon him a few of those favours they had so plentifully heaped upon the above Gentlewoman.

At this place might also be mentioned, as being extremely well in point to the subject we are treating, the kind of satisfaction required by Dulcinea, from Sancho, and that which the Lady introduced by Butler, prescribed to the renowned Hudibras, while he was in the stocks; though, I confess, it might be said that the corrections here alluded to, were only advised, not inflicted, by the above Ladies. But it will suffice to mention, as a conclusion of these quotations from great Authors, the manner in which _Lazarillo de Tormes_, the notorious Spanish Cheat, was served by his four Wives. Having found out the place of his abode, they immediately agreed among themselves to serve him with the elegant kind of chastisement here mentioned; and having all together surprized him one morning, while he was asleep, they tied him fast to his bed, and served upon him one of the most dreadful flagellations that ever were inflicted, since the use of them has been contrived, as we are told in the History of the Life of the said _Lazarillo_; a Book which is still in repute in Spain, it being written with humour, and containing true pictures of the manners of that Country, and being even, as some say, founded on real facts.

Nor are true and well-authenticated instances wanting, to confirm the same observations. None, however, can be mentioned, that sets in a stronger light the love of justice inherent in the female Sex, and their constant attention to make choice of expedients of an elegant kind to express their resentment, than the custom that prevails in France and Italy, and perhaps in other Countries, according to which, Ladies use to flagellate their acquaintances, while they are yet in bed, on the morning of the day of the festival of the Innocents; whence this flagellatory custom is called “giving the Innocents” (_dar gli Innocenti_): the word _Innocent_, we may observe, has, in both the Italian and French languages, besides the English signification of it, that of fool, or simpleton; hence the words, _the Day of the Innocents_, seem also to signify in those two languages, the Fools day, or the day of the _Unwary_.

Nay, so well established is the custom we mention, that Women, in those parts, look upon that day, as a day of general justice and retribution, or an Assize or Sessions day, to which they refer taking satisfaction for the slight offences they may receive in the course of the year, especially from their male friends. They even will sometimes, when the latter hesitate too much in granting their requests, or misbehave in any manner, hint to them the fatal consequences that may ensue from such a conduct, and plainly intimate to them, that a certain day in the year is to come on which every thing is to be atoned for.

When this important day is arrived, those Ladies who have agreed to join together in the same party, or (to continue the comparison drawn from the law that has been above employed) who have agreed to go together upon the circuit, repair early in the morning to the appointed place of rendezvous, for instance the apartment of one of them, sufficiently provided with disciplines from their respective kitchens; and after laying the plan of their operations, they sally out, to take a round to the apartments of their different acquaintances.

The prudent and cautious, on such an important day, take great care to secure well the bolts and locks of their doors; or rather, fearing that sleep should overcome them, and knowing how fatal neglect might prove, they take that precaution on the evening before, when going to bed, and as an additional security, they heap all the chairs and tables against the door. Others, who are of a bold and daring spirit, on the contrary affect on that day, to leave the doors of their rooms wide open, and stay in bed, resolved to wait the event, and undauntedly to face the storm. However, as such an affectation of bravery seems to indicate that some present trick, or at least some future retaliation of some kind or other is intended, the Ladies commonly keep clear from a place they judge so ominous; unless there happens to be one among them of an uncommonly courageous turn of mind, who places herself in the van, encourages the whole party; and they all together rush into the room and fall upon the adventurous Hero, who is then made to pay dearly for his temerity. When this does not happen to be the case, and at the same time they find the doors of all those persons whom they had expressly marked out for chastisement, to be proof against either a coup-de-main or a regular siege, as they must not part without some effectual business has been transacted, the cloud commonly breaks upon some unfortunate Simpleton, who has left his door open for no other reason than because he had forgot what day of the month it was; they lay fast hold of him, and seldom leave him before their disciplines are worn out to the stumps. The story is soon circulated in whispers in the neighbourhood; and if any person who has not yet heard of it, observes that the Gentleman appears that day uncommonly grave and sulky, his wonder presently ceases, when he is told that, on the morning, they have given him the _Innocents_.

The custom we mention, seems to be of pretty ancient date; it is alluded to in that old Book formerly quoted, _The Tales of the Queen of Navarre_. A Man, an Upholsterer by trade, as it is said in one of these Tales (for Men will sometimes avail themselves of the practice in question when it may serve their turn) a Man was in love with his servant Maid; and as he did not know how to find an opportunity to escape the vigilance of his Wife, and be alone with her, he pretended, in a conversation he brought about on the subject, on the eve of _Innocent’s_ day, to find much fault with the Maid; complained that she was a lazy Wench, and so on; and added, that, in order to teach her better, he proposed, on the next morning, to give her the _Innocents_. The Wife greatly applauded his resolution: at break at day, he accordingly rose from his bed, took up a discipline of such a monstrous size, that his Wife’s heart aked to think what correction the Maid was about to undergo, and ran up stairs with a disposition of seemingly very great severity: however, I am happy to inform the Reader, that, after he had bounced the door open, and at first frighted the Maid very much, every thing was concluded in an amicable manner.

If from Ladies of a middling station in life, and in the class of Upholsterers, we turn our eyes towards Ladies of rank, and Court Ladies, we shall meet with instances no less instructive and interesting.

We may, in the first place, mention the case of the Poet Clopinel, which has been alluded to in a former Chapter. This Poet, who was also called _John of Mehun_ (a small Town on the river Loire) lived about the year 1300, under the reign of Philip the Fair, King of France, at whose Court he was well received. He wrote several Books, and among others translated into French the Letters of Abelard to Heloisa: but that of his works which gave him most reputation, was his conclusion of the celebrated _Roman de la Rose_; a Poem of much the same turn with Ovid’s _Art of Love_, which had been begun by William _de Lorris_, and met with prodigious success in those times, and was afterwards imitated by Chaucer. However, Clopinel gave great offence to the whole Sex, by four lines he had inserted in that Poem, the meaning of which is as follows:--“All of you are, will be, or were, either in deed, or intention, wh-res; and whoever would well search into your conduct, wh-res would find you all to be.”

_Toutes êtes, serez, ou futes
De fait ou de volonté, putes;
Et qui bien vous chercheroit
Toutes putes vous trouveroit._

The meaning of these verses, if we take from them the coarseness of the expressions, which did not perhaps sound so harsh in those times as they would in our days, did not at bottom differ from the well-known line of Pope,

“--Every Woman is at heart a Rake.”

Yet we do not hear that this Poet suffered any flagellation on that account, from the Court Ladies, or any other Ladies; whether it was that he prudently took care, after writing the above line, to keep for some time out of the way, or that the Ladies felt no resentment at the accusation. With respect to Clopinel, however, the case proved otherwise: and whether his expressions really had, notwithstanding what has been above suggested, much the same coarse meaning as now, or Ladies had, in those days, a nicer sensibility to any thing that might touch their honour, the Ladies at Court were much offended at the harsh charge that was thus brought against the whole Sex without distinction: they resolved to make the insolent Poet properly feel the effects of their resentment: and as they were at the same time firmly determined, especially being Court Ladies, not to use any expedient but of an elegant and refined kind, they resolved upon a flagellation. One day, accordingly, as Clopinel was coming to Court, entirely ignorant of the fate that awaited him, the Ladies, who had previously supplied themselves with proper instruments, laid hold of him, and immediately proceeded to make him ready for correction. No possible assistance could rescue Clopinel from having that chastisement served upon him which he so justly deserved, except his wit; which happily did not fail him in so imminent a danger, and suggested to him to ask leave to speak a few words. The favour was granted him, with express injunction, however, to make his story short: when, after acknowledging the justice of the sentence that had been passed upon him, he requested it, as an act of mercy, that that Lady who thought herself most affronted by his lines, should give the first blow: this request struck the Ladies with so much surprise (owing no doubt to the fear every one of them immediately conceived, of giving an advantage against herself for which she might afterwards repent) that, to use the expression of the Author of Moreri’s Dictionary, from which this fact is extracted, the rods fell from their hands, and Clopinel escaped unpunished.

Court Ladies of more modern times, have given similar instances of refinement and elegance in their method of revenging the affronts they had received. On this occasion the Reader may be reminded of the case of the Marchioness of Tresnel, which has been related at length in a former place. Another instance of the justice of Ladies, still more interesting by far, occurred at the Court of Russia about the year 1740. The object of the Ladies resentment, was a Fop of quality, lately returned from his Travels; nor will the Reader question the propriety of the flagellation that was served upon him, when he shall be informed that this presumptuous Spark had been guilty of no less an offence than having publicly boasted of having received favours which had never been shewn him. The fact is related in a Book intitled, _Letters from Russia_, which was published by a Lady whose husband resided at that Court in a public capacity, between the years 1730 and 1740: the book is written in a pleasing style, and contains a deal of interesting information concerning the Russian Court at that time. The Author, it is said, lived a few years ago at Windsor: her Letters from Russia were addressed to a female friend in England.

In the eleventh letter, the following account is contained. ‘I long to tell you a story; but your prudery (I beg pardon, your prudence) frightens me: however, I cannot resist; so pop your fan before your face, for I am going to begin. We have here a young fellow of fashion, who has made the tour of France, &c. &c. At his return he fell in company with three or four pretty Women at a friend’s house, where he sung, danced, laughed, was very free with the Ladies, and behaved quite _a-la-mode de_ Paris. As he had given the gazing audience a specimen of his airs, so he did not fail afterwards to brag of the fondness of the Ladies for him, and of the proofs they had given him of it. This he repeated in all companies, till it reached the ears of the husbands, who looked glum in silence; and at last, in plain terms, expressed the cause of their ill-humour.’ To abridge the account, it will suffice to say that the Ladies resolved to punish the vain-boasting fop as he deserved: a letter was written to him by one of them, appointing a place where she was to meet him: “he flew on the wings of love to the rendezvous,” perfumed, we are to suppose, and in his smartest dress. Though he expected to meet only one of the Ladies, he found them all four waiting for him; and instead of that delightful afternoon he had prepared himself to spend, he was entertained with a most serious flagellation. ‘Some say (continues the Author who relates this fact) that the Ladies actually whipped him; others, they ordered their maids to do it: that the punishment was inflicted with so much rigour as to oblige him to keep his bed some time, is certain; but whether the Ladies were executioners or spectators only, is a doubt.’

For my own part, I shall be bolder than the fair Author who gives this account; and I will take upon myself to decide that the Ladies were _spectators only_. Had this young fellow of fashion we are speaking of, committed an offence of no very grievous kind; had he, for instance, been guilty of some word, or even action, moderately indecent in the presence of the Ladies, or affronted them by some ill-timed jokes, or had he, like Clopinel, indulged himself in a bon-mot, or even a whole song, against the honour of the Sex, then we might suppose the Ladies arms, to have possessed sufficient vigour to have served him with a correction proportioned to the degree of his guilt. Not that I consider, however, as some Readers will perhaps do, the falsehood of the facts he had boasted of, as being any aggravation of his offence: very far from it: it is when such facts are true, that the boasting of them is really a fault of a black nature: it is such, in my humble opinion, that no possible flagellation can atone for it; the ungrateful _Tell-tale_ ought to be stitched in a bag, and thrown into the river. However, as the vain speeches of the young fellow were in themselves highly wicked, we are to suppose that the Ladies trusted the care of chastising him to more robustious hands than their own; and we must side with that part of the Public, who thought that they _ordered their Maids_ to perform for them; that is to say, a set of Maid slaves selected among the stoutest of those who composed their housholds, Maids imported from the banks of the _Palus-meotis_, or the Black Sea, and who thought it a glorious opportunity for shewing their mistresses their zeal in serving them. This supposition agrees extremely well with the ensuing part of the account, viz. that this vain-boasting Coxcomb _was obliged to keep his bed some time_: who knows? perhaps five or six weeks.

The only personal share, we are to think, the Ladies took in the affair, was, when the execution was concluded, to admonish the culprit as to his future conduct. Milton makes the observation, which is quoted by the Author of the Spectator, that the Devil seemed once to be sensible of shame; it was when he received a censure (unexpected for him, we may suppose) from a young Angel of remarkable beauty. In like manner, what must have been the shame of that young Coxcomb, who perhaps had never blushed in his life, when he heard himself addressed by the Ladies who had caused him to be served with so just a chastisement! what must have been his remorse for his naughty behaviour! his grief in considering, that, had he perhaps waited patiently a little time longer, they would have willingly honoured him with their most valuable favours! The Lady who possessed the easiest and most elegant delivery, advanced towards him a few steps; and, accompanying her short speech with the action of an arm of an exquisite form and hand as white as snow, and with a frown on her face, which, without lessening its beauty, gave a true expression of her just resentment, she made him sensible, in few words, of the greatness of his fault, and the justice of the chastisement that had been administered to him: then turning towards the Calmouk and Tartarian Maids who had so well executed her former orders, she directed them to shew him the way to the street door.

To these instances of the justice of Ladies, we may add those of the corrections they have bestowed upon their husbands; as they have an undoubted right. A very remarkable case of that sort is alluded to, in the I. Canto P. II. of Hudibras.

Did not a certain Lady whip
Of late her husband’s own Lordship?
And, though a Grandee of the House,
Clawed him with fundamental blows.
Tied him stark-naked to a bed-post,
And firked his hide, as if sh’ had rid post;
And after, in the Sessions Court,
Where whipping’s judged, had honour for’t.

The noble person here mentioned, was Lord Munson: similar acts of authority on their husbands, were performed, about the same time, by Sir William Waller’s Lady, Mrs. May, and Sir Henry Mildmay’s Lady. From these instances we find, that, amidst the general wreck of the Monarchical, Aristocratical, and Clerical, powers in the Nation, and while the King, Lords, and High Clergy, had their prerogatives wrested from them and annihilated, Wives knew how to assert their jurisdiction over their Husbands, and preserve their just authority. The subject however is too deep to be discussed at large here: I intend to offer more facts to the Public in a separate Work, which will be a compleat Treatise, and a kind of _Matrimonial Code_ in which the true principles shall be laid concerning the rights of Wives, and the submission of Husbands[112].

Those Authors who have treated of the manner in which Men ought to behave in their intercourse with the fair Sex, have been so sensible that the latter must unavoidably, at one time or other, have occasion to bestow lectures and corrections on their Suitors or Lovers (and also their Husbands) that they have made it a point to these, to bear those momentary mortifications with patience and humility, and not to think that such submission reflects any dishonour upon them. This is the precept expressly given by Ovid, in his _Art of Love_;--‘Do not think it in any degree shameful for you, to submit to the harsh words, and the blows, of the young Woman you court.’

_Nec maledicta puta, nec verbera ferre puellæ
Turpe_----

And indeed we find that those Lovers who have best understood their business, have not only constantly followed the advice of Ovid, and chearfully submitted to receive such corrections as their Mistresses were pleased to impose upon them; but when they have happened to have been involuntarily guilty of offences of a somewhat grievous kind, they have done more; they have, of themselves, offered freely to submit to them. Thus Polyenos, in the Satyr of Petronius, who had been guilty with Circe of one of those faults which Ladies so difficultly prevail upon themselves to forgive, who had in short committed that offence which the abovementioned Miller boasted he never happened to be guilty of, wrote afterwards to her,--“If you want to kill me, I will come to you with an iron weapon; or if you are satisfied with stripes, I run naked to my Mistress.” (_Polyaenos Circæ salutem.... Sive occidere placet, cum ferro venio; sive verberibus contenta es, curro nudus ad dominam. Id tantum memento, non me, sed instrumenta, peccasse, &c. Cap. 130._)

The illustrious Count of Guiche, as we find in the Count of Buffi’s _Amorous History of Gauls_, a Book which caused the disgrace of its Author, on account of the liberties he had taken in it with the character of King Lewis the Fourteenth, and his Mistress, _Madame de la Valiere_, the Count of Guiche, I say, one of the first-rate Beaux of the Court of the King just mentioned, behaved in the same manner that Polyenos had done. Having committed a fault with the well-known Countess of Olonne, of the same kind with that of Polyenos, he wrote the next day to the Countess in much the same terms as the latter had done to Circe. ‘If you want me to die, I will bring you my sword; if you think I only deserve to be flagellated, I will come to you in my shirt.’ (_Si vous voulez ma mort, j’irai vous porter mon épée; si vous jugez que je ne mérite que le fouët, j’irai vous trouver en chemise._)