Chapter XII: Letters to Lord Esher (1)

Lord Esher has kindly sent me three bulky volumes of letters I wrote him from 1903 onwards--I have others also. Many of them are unquotable, so blasting are they in their truth to existing reputations. It’s not my business to blast reputations--so the real gems are missing.

Somebody felt in 1903 that the War Office was wrong, and so a Committee was set up with Lord Esher as President, Sir George Clarke and myself the other two members; and that very able and not sufficiently recognised man, now General Sir C. Ellison, was Secretary. How I got there is still a mystery; but it was a great enjoyment as Generals came to stay with me at Admiralty House, Portsmouth--I was the Port Admiral. I always explained to them I was Lord Esher’s facile dupe and Sir George Clarke’s servile copyist, and thereby avoided odium personally (I was getting all the odium I wanted from the Admirals!).

As usual, when we reported, the Government didn’t appreciate those inestimable words “_Totus Porcus_” (No Government--anyhow no English Government--ever yet went “the whole hog”--“Compromise” is the British God!).[14]

1903 [_Sir John Fisher, Commander-in-Chief at Portsmouth_].

... My humble idea is that “_men are everything and material
nothing_” whether it’s working the War Office or fighting a fleet!
So some day I am going to try and entice you to read my lectures
to the Officers of the Mediterranean Fleet because the spirit
intended to be diffused by them is what I think is the one great
want in the British Army, and without it 50,000 Lord Eshers would
be no good in producing “Angel Gabriel” organisations! The Military
system is rotten to the very core! You want to begin _ab ovo_! The
best of the Generals are even worse than the subalterns because
they are more hardened sinners! I fear I shocked Ellison, but he
is simply first class and I most heartily congratulate you on your
selection.... I really begin to feel I never ought to have joined
you as I have some very big jobs on now which require incessant
personal attention and this must be my excuse for not coming up to
see Girouard this week. I have the new Civil Lord staying with me
and I have got to prevent him joining with a lot of asses at the
Admiralty, who want to throw half a million of money in the gutter.

* * * * *

_Nov. 19th, 1903._

On my return I found the first proofs of your three papers. I have
studied them with close care and interest. There are some points of
detail which puzzle me, but it seems you are absolutely convincing
on the main lines. What I venture to emphasise is this:--We cannot
reform the Army Administration until it is laid down what it is
the Administration is going to Administer! For instance, the
Citizen Army for Home Defence! Are we going to have it? If so,
then you will certainly want a Member of the Board or Council to
superintend it! Again, I say, the _Regular Army_ (as distinguished
from the Home Army and the _Indian Army_) should be regarded as a
projectile to be fired by the Navy! The Navy embarks it and lands
it where it can do most mischief!--Thus, the Germans are ready
to land a large Military Force on the Cotentin Peninsula in case
of War with France and my German Military Colleague at the Hague
Conference told me this comparatively small Military Force would
have the effect of demobilising half a million of men who would
thus be taken away from the German Frontier--they never know where
the devil the brutes are going to land! Consequently instead of
our Military Manœuvres being on Salisbury Plain and its vicinity
(ineffectually aping the vast Continental Armies!) we should be
employing ourselves in joint Naval and Military Manœuvres embarking
50,000 men at Portsmouth and landing them at Milford Haven or
Bantry Bay!--This would make the Foreigners sit up! Fancy! in the
Mediterranean Fleet we disembarked 12,000 men with guns in _19
minutes_! What do you think of that! and we should hurry up the
soldiers! No doubt there would be good-natured chaff! Once we
embarked 7,000 soldiers at Malta and took them round and landed
them elsewhere for practice, and I remember having a complaint
that the Bluejackets said “Come on, you bloody lobsters! Wake up!”
However all the above _en passant_. I expect the Prime Minister
must have pretty good ideas now crystallised as to how the Army
should be constituted--let us ask him for this at once--if he
hasn’t got it, let us tell him we must have it, because as I said
at starting, you can’t organise an administration without clearly
knowing what you are going to administer. This is a hasty bit of
writing but not a hasty thought.

* * * * *

1903.
_Nov. 25th._

I send you two books--a more portly volume I hesitate to
send!--Also I fear without some verbal explanation you may not
see the application to Military matters of these purely Naval
Notes, but they do apply in the spirit if not in the letter! For
instance I had an overwhelming confidence that every Officer and
man in the Mediterranean Fleet had also an overwhelming confidence
that we thoroughly knew all we had to do in case of war in every
conceivable eventuality! Well! that is the confidence you also want
in an Army! Have you got it!

* * * * *

_Dec. 2nd._

Here is a letter just come from Prince Louis of Battenberg
illustrating what I was saying to you this morning as to a Member
of the Board of Admiralty however junior in rank being accepted
as a superior controlling authority by all in rank above him. An
Officer actually at the moment serving under Prince Louis in the
Admiralty itself being put over Prince Louis in the Admiralty
itself, and sending for him and giving him orders! I don’t know
that it would be possible to have a stronger case to quote when
by and by we have to defend or rather have to lay down and define
the status of the Members of the New War Office Board. Inglefield,
the new Naval Lord, being a Junior Captain, will be sending for
_Admiral_ Boys, Director of Transports, who is specially under him
and who I rather think entered the service before Inglefield was
born.

* * * * *

_Dec. 4th._

... You are right about the Submarines!

“_We strain at the gnat of perfection and swallow the camel of
unreadiness_,” and that permeates every branch of Naval and
Military Administration, forgetting the homely proverb that “half
a loaf is better than no bread!” but please God! “_the dauntless
three_” [Sir Geo. Clarke, Lord Esher and Sir John Fisher] (as I see
we are now called) will change all that! “We’ll stagger humanity”
as old Kruger said!

* * * * *

_Dec. 7th._

Arnold-Forster [Secretary for War] has been here three days and
he is most cordially with us. I wish you had been here with him.
He places implicit trust in us. He has shown me an outline of an
excellent memorandum proposing an immediate reduction of 300,000
men and he will let me have a copy as soon as printed, also a
memorandum of his difficulties in the War Office.... This is
another proof of the value of the advice of my Military Nicodemus
(he is one of the Sanhedrin!) that there must be an active
“clear-out” of the present military gang, root and branch, lock,
stock, and gunbarrel! Sir John French and General Smith-Dorrien
(lately Adjutant-General in India) are names I have suggested to
Arnold-Forster as members of his new Board.

* * * * *

_Dec. 11th._

... Don’t forget your phrase “_the biennial fortnightly picnic”!
it’s splendid!_ That will fetch the mothers of families and
reconcile them to the Swiss system! I hope you won’t lose any
time in talking to the Prime Minister and showing him the immense
advantages that will accrue from his turning over further matters
to us instead of dear Arnold-Forster “raising Cain” as he surely
will do! It would be so easy to associate Sir John French, Hildyard
and Smith-Dorrien (very curious that all these three Generals were
first in the Navy and got their early education there) with us for
the further matters.

* * * * *

_Dec. 17th._

Another Military Nicodemus came to see me yesterday. I had never
met him before! He occupies a high official position. He highly
approved of you and me, “but he had never heard of the third member
of the Committee. What a pity they had not put a soldier on the
Committee!” (How these Christians hate one another!) But the point
of his remarks was the present system of Army Promotions, which he
said was as iniquitous and baleful in its influence as could be
possibly conceived, and then he illustrated by cases of certain
officers made Generals. My only object in writing this to you is
Selborne having spoken of the Admiralty method where the first Lord
has the Naval Members of the Board in consultation, but he and his
Private Secretary (who is always a Naval Officer of note) have the
real responsibility.

* * * * *

_Dec. 20th._

---- is and always has been drastic in his ideas of military
reform, and I cordially agree with him and Stead agrees with me
that the British Public loves a root and branch reform. One remnant
left of the old gang or the organisations and you taint the whole
new scheme!

Don’t fear about Arnold-Forster. He will come with us all
right--you are absolutely sound on the Patronage question, but I
would have the soldiers precisely on the same footing as Tyrwhitt
at the Admiralty [Private Secretary. He was my Flag Captain] for
detailed reasons I will give you when we meet. It is an ideal
arrangement (the Private Secretary at Admiralty). He has the power,
he pulls the strings, he has no position, he causes no jealousy, he
talks to all the Lords as their servant, and he manipulates them
all and oils the machine for his special master, the First Lord,
to perpetrate a job when necessary! Make him a big-wig like an
Official Military Secretary, and all this goes--he becomes too big
for his boots!

* * * * *

_Dec. 21st._

... I’ve been bombarded by Stead. I tried to boom him off but the
scoundrel said if I didn’t see him, he would have to invent! I
pointed out to him my _métier_ was that of the mole! Trace me by
upheavals! When you see the Admirals rise it’s that d--d fellow
Jack Fisher taking the rise out of them! So I implored Stead to
keep me out of the _Magazine Rifle_ [this was my name for _The
Review of Reviews_] or he will interfere with my professional
career of crime. So please use your influence with him in the same
direction. You and Clarke are the two legitimate members of the
Committee to be trotted out, as you are both so well known. No
sailor is ever known. The King was awfully good about this. He said
“Sailors went all round the world but never went in it”! Stead is
a very keen observer, as you know. He said our Committee could do
anything, and that neither the Press nor Parliament nor the Public
would tolerate any Military opposition to us because the whole
Military hierarchy was utterly discredited from top to bottom; but
he doubted _The Times_--_I don’t_. Further he expressed his firm
belief there would be a change of Government possibly at Easter but
certainly soon--if so we ought on that ground alone to “dig out”
with our Report.

* * * * *

1903.
(No date.)

Knollys was very much impressed by the possibilities of the
Submarine when he was down here. He saw them to better advantage
than you did as it was blowing half a gale of wind with a good sea
on when he saw the evolutionising! and it was very striking. I am
working subterraneously about the Submarines and there are already
“upheavals” in consequence.

* * * * *

1904.
_Jan. 5th._

... I yesterday sent all my plans to French for embarking the
whole of his First Army Corps on Monday, June 27th (Full Moon) at
Portsmouth, and he is coming here with his Chief Staff Officer,
Sir F. Stopford, next week, and we’ll land him like Hoche’s Army
in Bantry Bay! [Sir John French commanded at Aldershot. _The War
Office stopped this._]

* * * * *

1904.
_Jan. 17th._

... For the reason I have given you at length in another letter I
am convinced that French should be 1st Military Member and under
him there should be 3 _Directors_ (not Hieroglyphics such as
A.Q.M.G., D.A.Q.M.G., A.Q.M.G. 2, etc., etc.).

Sir F. Stopford--Director of Intelligence and Mobilisation.

Gen. Grierson--Director of Training.

Gen. Maxwell--Director of Home Defence.

Also I still maintain that Smith-Dorrien and Plumer should be the
2nd and 3rd Military Members, and perhaps one young distinguished
Indian Officer as 4th Military Lord. Haig, Inspector-General of
Cavalry in India, should be brought home as the principal Director
under _2nd Military Lord_. We must have youth and enthusiasm,
because it is only by the agency of young and enthusiastic
believers in the immense revolution which must be carried out, that
our scheme can bear fruit. The first thing of all is that every one
of the “old gang” must be cleared out! “lock, stock, and gunbarrel,
bob and sinker!” The next is that every one of the new men _must
be successful men_, and must be young and enthusiastic and cordial
supporters of the new policy--over every fellow’s door at the
War Office under the new régime has got to be written in large
letters:--

“No looking back. Remember Lot’s wife!”

* * * * *

1904.
(No date.)

The next pressing and important matter we have to deal with is _to
get the right men as Members of the new Army Council_. Either you
or Clarke have made a splendid observation that a rotten system
may be run effectively by good men but duffers would spoil the
work of the Angel Gabriel!... _If we don’t get in men who will
enthusiastically adopt our scheme and work with us_, LET US THROW
UP AT ONCE! as we shall only have an awful fiasco and I (for one)
don’t want to go down with my grey hairs to the grave sorrowing
and discredited! Therefore I suggest to you that we should agree
on our men and _run them at once!_ Like fighting the French Fleet!
it’s half the battle gained to take the offensive, propose our men,
give their advantages and ask them (our enemies) what they have to
say against them and suggest every beastly thing we can against any
likely competitors--Selection by Disparagement! I put forward names
in enclosed paper simply as a basis.

1st Military Member--_Sir John French_, because he never failed
in Africa (the grave of Military Reputations). He is _young_
and _energetic_, has commanded the 1st Army Corps so far with
conspicuous success and has the _splendid gift_ of choosing the
right men to work with him (_vide_ his Staff in S. Africa, the
best Staff out there) and as 1st Military Lord it would be his
special function to prepare the Army in the Field for fighting,
and who therefore better to command it when war breaks out, as his
functions then at the War Office would disappear and be transferred
to the Commander-in-Chief at the seat of war--Further, he is an
enthusiastic and out-and-out believer in joint Naval and Military
operations as the proper species of manœuvres for this Nation.
In this belief he is almost solitary amongst all the Generals,
who all want to play at the German Army. “_Plump for French and
Efficiency!” Any vote given against French is a vote given for
Kelly-Kenny instead!_

2nd Military Member.--SMITH-DORRIEN. Has been with great success in
every campaign for the last 20 years, has been _Adjutant-General_
in India (a much bigger billet than _Adjutant-General_ in London!).
He is _young and energetic_ and is an extremely conciliatory and
accomplished gentleman and would work the personnel of the Army
(which would be his chief function as the Second Military Member)
far better than some “safe” old man because he is in touch with the
young generation. He took a Marine Officer of the Mediterranean
Fleet as his A.D.C. when appointed a Brigadier in South Africa,
because he considered him the ablest young officer in the Malta
Garrison! Utterly shocking all the Military Mandarins. “_Vote for
Smith-Dorrien and Progress!_”

“_Every vote given against Smith-Dorrien is a vote for ----_” [_A
lady who then “ran” the War Office!_]

3rd Military Member. Supplies and Transport.--_General Plumer_. The
only man besides French that _never failed in anything he undertook
in Africa_! They say he has “the luck of the Devil,” but the fact
is that “the luck of the Devil” is wholly attributable to a minute
attention to anything that will ensure the success of his (Satanic
Majesty’s) designs, and he leaves nothing to chance! Such is
Plumer! He also is young, energetic and enthusiastic.

“_Vote for Plumer and a full belly!_”

“_Every vote given against Plumer is a vote given for paper boots
and no ammunition!_”

4th Military Member--_General F. G. Slade_, now Inspector General
of Garrison Artillery--has served in six campaigns and always
come out top: has been in the Horse, Field and Garrison Artillery
and commanded at Gibraltar. He is _young and energetic and
enthusiastic_ and will blow the trumpet of the Board (_as well as
his own!_).

“_Vote for Slade and hitting the Target!_”

“_Every vote given against Slade will be a vote given in favour of
some d--d old woman._”...

* * * * *

1904.
_Jan. 31st._

Post Office Telegraphs. Government Despatch No.... “Await Arrival.”

Lord Esher Windsor Castle.

In reply to your telegram just received our committee manœuvres
commenced at Portsmouth on December 30 beating Moses by nine days
as he took 40 days before he got down from the Mount with his
report but if you refer to submarine manœuvres I have last night
put them off to February twenty third to last three weeks from
that date stop I see we are accused of not giving credit to the
good motives that have always actuated the War Office stop Why
is the War Office like hell answer because it is paved with good
intentions Sir John Fisher Portsmouth.

[Not bad for an official telegram!]

* * * * *

1904.
_Feb. 1st._

... I really think it is of extreme importance that you should be
on the spot daily just now as without doubt “wire-pulling” of the
“Eve” order will be going on. When the other day I met those three
ladies on the back stairs of the War Office all in picture hats and
smelling of White Rose or some other beastly thing, I thought to
myself “How about Capua?” for really they were very nice looking
indeed. You know the story about them having the entrée to the War
Office!

* * * * *

1904.
_Feb. 28th._

Best of Chairmen! Snatch a moment to look through enclosed ... as
I am dead gone on starting the idea of a general list of officers,
and general uniform and early entry and they will all go to sea,
but I don’t want to mention that yet awhile; it will come of itself
when ⅗ths of every man-of-war’s crew are soldiers; that’s not
many years hence and will bring the income tax down to 3 pence in
the pound! Mark my words! this will come, but it’s no use giving
people premature shocks, so let me keep it quiet now. My idea is to
acclimatise the chosen few to it first of all and then gradually
spread it about, and when Kitchener comes home he will see it
through. (He shares my view, I know.)

* * * * *

1904.
_(?) March._

... Campbell-Bannerman told me last night he intended to make a
special point of the Secretary of State’s responsibility and power
being unduly lessened, and he would not admit that the new order of
things makes him the same as the First Lord of the Admiralty!...
To avoid the slightest misconception that may arise as to the
lessening of the parliamentary responsibility of the Secretary
of State for War by the formation of the Army Council or of his
supreme authority as the Cabinet Minister responsible for the
Army, it’s only necessary to reiterate and emphasise the statement
that he is absolutely in the same position as the First Lord of
the Admiralty, the patent constituting the Army Council being
absolutely similar to the Admiralty Patent and no question has
ever been raised nor is there any doubt whatever of the reform and
present responsibility of the First Lord of the Admiralty as the
Cabinet Minister responsible for the Navy.

* * * * *

1904.
_March 10th._

Just back from the English Channel with the Submarines and am very
enthusiastic!... We really must arrange to get the British Army
to Sea somehow or other! Yesterday all the mice died in their
cages and two of the crew fainted, but the young Lieutenant of the
Submarine didn’t seem to care a d--n whether they all died so long
as he bagged the Battleship he was after, and he practically got
her and then he came up in his Submarine to breathe! Depend on it
we shall have more “Niles” and “Trafalgars” so long as we continue
to propagate such “young bloods” as this! But see how splendid if
we could shove the same “ginger” into the young Military aspirants,
and they all came from the same schools! but the whole secret is to
catch them very young and mould them while they are then so plastic
and receptive to be just what you want them. Another submarine had
an explosion which made the interior “_Hell_” for some seconds
(as the Submarine was bottled up and diving to evade a Destroyer
who had caught her with a hook) but the Submarine Lieutenant saw
them all d--d first before he would rise up and be caught. Another
young fire-eater had his periscope smashed but bagged a battleship
nevertheless by coming up stealthily to blow just like a beaver,
and look round. _It really is all lovely!_ but what I am writing
about is--_you must embark an Army Corps every year and give them
sea training_.

[“THE ARMY AND NAVY CO-OPERATIVE SOCIETY.”

I must here interpose a few words to explain that I had submitted an elaborate method of increasing the military efficiency of officers--first by very early entry as in the Navy--having free or State education for them--hence “Equal opportunity for all”: Officers’ pay of all ranks to be sufficient for them to live on--and the regimental system abolished--and the same system as in the Navy by which military officers would serve in all arms--Engineers, Artillery, Cavalry and Infantry, instead of being familiar with but one part of their profession. When the Sea Lords sit round the Board of Admiralty they can talk about anything, because they’ve been in every type of vessel and every branch of their Profession. Again, in a good regiment the promotion is slow because the officers stick to it. In a bad regiment the promotion is rapid because everyone wants to leave it. Then, finally, I submitted the idea of the Army and Navy being incorporated in one great Service. There is no going aloft now--a ship can be manned by soldiers with equal efficiency as by sailors. You want nucleus crews thoroughly used to the ship and always in her, knowing all her foibles. Brains--the Beef needn’t be equally clever! The military officers in the Peninsular War only 16 years old were splendid and they were numerous.]

1904.
_March 20th. Telegram._

Suggest if Prime Minister takes no immediate action he may be
asked that the Committee in self-defence be allowed to make
correspondence public as already I am hearing from influential
friends that we are discredited by having made exaggerated and
unjustifiable statements and that besides the scandalous and
disparaging words of the Secretary of State in the House of Commons
that the Prime Minister has more or less disavowed us by the tenour
of his remarks.... I venture to suggest to you that it is a great
mistake for our Committee to be made a catspaw to suit Cabinet
susceptibilities or parliamentary wirepulling and that we press
for a full and complete publication.

* * * * *

1904.
_May 26th._

... Arnold-Forster spent several hours here with me yesterday and
he is coming again to-day discussing his difficulties. I tell him
he can’t expect his Council all at once to possess the attributes
of the Board of Admiralty (which he so intensely admires) which
began in 1619! They want to be educated. The individual Members are
far too subservient now and do not realise they are administrative
members and _not_ Army Officers. They must go about in plain
clothes and a tall hat, and order Field Marshals about like
schoolboys!...

* * * * *

1904.
_June 17th._

... It would have been simply disastrous to have had an increased
Army Vote. Has Clarke ever come to close quarters with you as to
his project for getting the Army Estimates down to 23 millions? for
that is really the figure which represents the proportionate part
of the total sum which I make out to be available for the fighting
services, and unless some such figure can be arrived at for the
Army, I do not think the British Public will face the reduction in
the Navy Estimates _which I see to be possible with the increased
efficiency_; because they will rightly argue that the Navy is
the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th _ad infinitum_ line of defence, and it is
simply monstrous therefore that the bloated Army should starve the
essential Navy.... It is this Army Vote that absolutely blocks me,
because I am perfectly certain it will wreck us unless it can be
brought down to some such figure as 23 millions at the outside.
That N.-W. Frontier of India is the bug-bear which has possessed
the whole lot of our present rulers! and there is no “advocate of
the devil” to plead the other side. So I hope you will put that
mind of yours to work to make the Prime Minister see his mission
to cut down the Army Vote to 23 millions and _then_ we can go ahead
and get that threepenny income tax we all so long for _and which we
can get if we like_!

* * * * *

1904.

I was with the Prime Minister from 12.30 to 4 p.m. He was most
pleasant and delightful but evidently didn’t see his way to making
the reduction in the Army Vote which is imperative.... He and all
the rest appear stupefied by the Indian Frontier Bogey and the
100,000 men wanted. I gave him figures to show the Army had been
increased 60,000 odd men in 10 years. If he would reduce them
at once he would get nearly threepence off the income tax and
get rid of his recruiting difficulties. The Auxiliary Forces 4½
millions--absurd--the Volunteers 2 millions--still more absurd!

* * * * *

1904.
_July 16th._

A.-F.’s scheme rotten! You have hit the nail on the head about
expense. He had the remedy in the palm of his hand! He simply
had to reduce what the Army had _unnecessarily_ increased in 10
years--the 60,000 officers and men--and he got 6 millions sterling
(including the accessories) and solved the recruiting question!...
3,700 Royal Engineers put on in 10 years and only ⅓ of them went to
the war in S.A.! the rest enjoying themselves in civilian work! and
was there ever such ineptitude as trying to make them into railway
men, electric engineers and sailors for submarine mines when you
have the real thing in abundance in the railway and telegraph
workmen of the country and fishermen for any water work? This is
only one sample. Every blessed item of the military organisation
is similarly rotten! Why? Because the military system of entry and
education is rotten.

* * * * *

1904.
_July 28th._

... We have a new scheme for a reorganisation of the whole
Admiralty and have got the Order in Council for it! _The new scheme
gives the First Sea Lord nothing to do_, except think and send for
Idlers! It also resuscitates the old titles of _Sea Lords_ dating
from A.D. 1613, but which some silly ass 100 years ago altered to
_Naval Lords_.

* * * * *

1904.
_August 17th._

... I have got 60 sheets of foolscap written with all the new Naval
proposals and am pretty well prepared for the fray on October 21st.

[Sir John Fisher became First Sea Lord of the Admiralty on October 21st (Trafalgar Day), 1904; and the correspondence is scanty between that date and the autumn of 1907.]

1907.
_Sept 12th._

... I really can’t understand Mr. Buckle giving ---- his head in
this way in the columns of _The Times_! but I suppose it “catches
on” and makes the flesh creep of the “_old women of both sexes_”
(as Lord St. Vincent called the “Invasion lot” in his day!) and his
memorable saying so infinitely more true now than then. When asked
his opinion of the possibility of an invasion, he replied “that if
considered as a purely military operation he was loth to offer an
opinion but he certainly could positively state it could never take
place by sea!”

* * * * *

1907.
_Oct. 7th._ MOLVENO.

... My unalterable conviction is that the Committee of Imperial
Defence is tending rapidly to become a sort of Aulic Council
and the man who talks glibly, utterly irresponsible, will usurp
the functions of the _two_ men who _must_ be the “Masters of the
War”--the First Sea Lord and the Chief of the General Staff. Make
no mistake--I don’t mean those two men are to be Dictators, but
the Government says: “Do so and so!” _These are the two executive
Officers_.... In regard to the “Invasion Bogey” about which I am
now writing to you, how curious it is that from the German Emperor
downwards their hearts were stricken with fear that _we_ were going
to attack _them_.... Here is an interview between Beit and the
German Emperor given me at first hand, immediately on Beit’s return
from Berlin.

_Beit_: “Your Majesty is very greatly mistaken in supposing that
any feeling exists in England for war with Germany. I know both Mr.
Balfour and Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman are absolutely averse to
any such action. I know this of my own personal knowledge.”

_The Emperor_: “Yes, yes, but it doesn’t matter whether either of
them is Prime Minister or what party is in power. _Fisher remains!
that’s the vital fact!_ I admire Fisher. I say nothing against
him. If I were in his place I should do all that he has done (in
concentrating the British Navy against Germany) and I should do all
that _I know_ he has it in his mind to do. Isvolsky, the Russian
Minister of Foreign Affairs, holds the same opinion.”

And yet Mr. Leo Maxse gibbets Sir John Fisher every month in the
_National Review_ as a traitor to his country and a panderer to
Germany, who “ought to be hung at his own yard arm!”

* * * * *

1907.
_Nov. 28th._

Can you manage to be at my room at Admiralty at 11.30 sharp to-day
(Saturday) to see arrangements for swallowing the German Mercantile
Marine, and other War Apparatus? [_i.e._ “The Spider’s Web”].

* * * * *

1907.
_Dec. 12th._

... I hope the Admiralty memorandum is to your satisfaction--of
course it is only the first instalment. What fascinates me is that
the Committee as a whole don’t seem to take the point that the
whole case of Roberts rests on an absolute Naval surprise, which is
really a sheer impossibility in view of our organised information.

* * * * *

1908.
_Jan. 1st._

... I had a _tête-à-tête_ lunch with Winston Churchill; he
unexpectedly came to the Admiralty and I was whirled off with him
to the Ritz. I had two hours with him. He is very keen to fight on
my behalf and is simply kicking with fury at ---- & Co., but I’ve
told him the watchword is “Silence.” He is an enthusiastic friend
certainly! He told me he would get six men on both sides to join
in _con amore_, F. E. Smith, &c., &c. I forget the other names. It
was rather sweet: he said his penchant for me was that I painted
with a big brush! and was violent!--I reminded him that even “The
Kingdom of Heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by
force”--_vide_ yesterday’s Second Lesson.

* * * * *

1908.
_Jan. 17th._

_Secret._... I rather want to keep clear of Defence Committee till
Morocco is settled, as I don’t want to disclose my plan of campaign
to _anyone_, not even C.-B. himself. The only man who knows is Sir
Arthur Wilson, and he’s as close as wax! The whole success will
depend upon _suddenness and unexpectedness_, and the moment I tell
anyone there’s an end of both!!! So just please keep me clear of
any Conference and personally I would sooner the Defence Committee
kept _still_. I’m seeing about the Transports. I started it about
7 weeks ago and got 3 of my best satellites on it.... So you’ll
think me a villain of the deepest dye!

* * * * *

1908.
_(?) Feb. 9th._

... We want both a _re-distribution_ as well as a _re-organisation_
of the Army--and the (comparatively) small Regular Army should be
based on the system of “Nucleus Crews”--that is to say the _whole
body of Officers_ are provided and ⅖ths (or the expert) part of the
crew, and the other ⅗ths of the Army you get from the outside Army
by whatever name you like to call it--National Army, or Citizen
Army, or Lord Lieutenant’s Army.

* * * * *

1908.
_Feb. 21st._

... _Secret._ Tirpitz asked a mutual civilian friend living in
Berlin to enquire very privately of me whether I would agree to
limiting size of guns and size of ships, as this is _vital_ to the
Germans, who _can’t_ go bigger than the Dreadnought in guns or
size. I wrote back by return of post yesterday morning “Tell him
I’ll see him d--d first!” (_Them’s the very words!_) I wonder what
Wilhelm will say to that if Tirpitz shows him the letter!

* * * * *

1908.
APR. 19TH.

... I got a note to say the King wanted to see me this afternoon at
3 p.m. ... _Private._ I got 3 letters from the King at Biarritz,
all extremely cordial and communicative and unsought by me. I
mention this to prove to you his kindly feelings and support....
When I met the King on arrival he said I was to be sure and see him
as he had something serious to say to me. I suppose I was with him
more than an hour, and he was as cordial and friendly as ever; and
this was the serious thing--“that I was Jekyll and Hyde! _Jekyll_
in being successful at my work at the Admiralty--but _Hyde_ as
a failure in Society! That I talked too freely and was reported
to say (which of course is a lie) that the King would see me
through anything! That it was bad for me and bad for him as being
a Constitutional Monarch; if the Prime Minister gave me my congé,
he couldn’t resist it, &c., &c.”... I told the King that if I had
never mentioned His Majesty’s name in my life, precisely the same
thing would be said out of sheer envy of His Majesty being kindly
disposed, and it could not be hid that the King had backed up the
First Sea Lord against all kinds of opposition--As a matter of fact
I _never_ do go into Society, and only dine out when I’m worried to
meet the King, and I’m not such a born idiot as to have said any
such thing as has been reported to the King (it is quite likely
_someone else has said it!_). Well he left that (having unburdened
his mind) and smoked a cigar as big as a capstan bar for really a
good hour afterwards, talking of everything from China to Peru, not
excluding _The Times_ article on himself.... Oh! he said something
of how I worked the Press, but I didn’t follow that up. No one
knows, except perhaps yourself, that unless I had arranged to get
the whole force of public opinion to back up the Naval Revolution
it would have been simply impossible to have carried it through
successfully, for the vested interests against me were enormous and
the whole force of Naval opinion was _dead_ against me. But I did
venture one humble remark to the King: “Has anyone ever been able
to mention to Your Majesty one single little item that has failed
in the whole multitude of reforms introduced in the last 3½ years?”
No! he said. No one had! So I left it there.... If the Angel
Gabriel were in my place he would be falsely accused. I’m only
surprised that the King hasn’t been told worse things--perhaps he
has! “_Let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall._”
I always have that thought, and hope the King will have a cottage
somewhere in Windsor Forest or elsewhere which he will kindly give
me when it happens, so that I can come over and have a yarn with
you!

* * * * *

1908.
_May 5th._

4.15 a.m. The _Early_ Bird!!... Yesterday, with all Sea Lords
present, McKenna formally agreed to 4 Dreadnoughts _and if
necessary_ 6 Dreadnoughts next year (perhaps the greatest triumph
ever known!)... He tells me Harcourt for certain will resign on it
... and he is paring down the money with a view to Supplementary
Estimates.... This is what I suggest to you to impress on Lloyd
George: _Let there he no mistake about the two Keels to one in
Dreadnoughts!_ Let Lloyd George reassure McKenna and tell him to
have no fear--it doesn’t affect next year, as McKenna consents to
4 or even 6; but it does affect the year after, and the Admiralty
Finance should be arranged accordingly and not deplete next year at
expense of year after. I wonder if this is all clear to you--that
McKenna is going to give us the _numbers_ for next year all right.
Shove in again the great fact--The Navy and Army Estimates not far
different in magnitude, and yet the Army not big enough to fight
Bulgaria, and the Navy can take on all the Navies of the world put
together.--“_Ut veniant omnes!!!_”--“Let ’em all come!” You might
tell Lloyd George he can rely on my parsimony.

* * * * *

1908.
_Sept. 8th._

... “The heart untravelled fondly turns to home.”--We have no
poets nowadays like Pope, Goldsmith and Gay--only damned mystical
idiots like Browning and Tennyson that want a dictionary and the
Differential-Calculus sort of mind to understand what they are
driving at!

... I sat several times [on a recent visit abroad] between
Stolypin, the Russian Prime Minister, and Isvolsky, the Foreign
Secretary. I didn’t begin it, but Stolypin said to me “What do
you think we want most?” He fancied I should answer “So many
battleships, so many cruisers, &c., &c.,” but instead I said:
“Your Western Frontier is denuded of troops and your magazines
are depleted. _Fill them up_, and then talk of Fleets!” Please
see enclosure from Kuropatkin’s secret report: “_The foundation
of Russia’s safety is her Western boundary!!!_”... Have you seen
Monsieur Rousseau (I think is his name) in _Le Temps_? I had an
extract of it, and put it aside to send you, but alas! it has gone.
“Procrastination is the thief of good intentions”--which is not
so good as “Punctuality is the curse of comfort.” But the good
Frenchman (like Monsieur Hanotaux before him) is lost in admiration
of what moved Mahan to his pungent saying that Garvin seized on
with the inspiration of genius--“that 88 per cent. of the English
guns were trained on Germany!”... By the way, I’ve got Sir Philip
Watts into a new _Indomitable_ that will make your mouth water when
you see it! (and the Germans gnash their teeth!)

* * * * *

1908.
_Dec._

The King has sent me a dear letter, and adds “_Don’t print this!_”
Isn’t he a sweet? _What wonderful friends I have!_ It’s a marvel!
All I do is to kick their shins.

* * * * *

1908.
(No date.)

... I am going to ask you to reconsider your supplementary paper
herewith. I can’t find that the Admiralty have admitted that
24,000 men would ever start off together as two raids of 12,000
each. I personally have expressed my decided opinion (I think
at the 7th meeting) [of the Committee of Imperial Defence] to
the contrary. Indeed, I am emphatically of opinion that no raid
of any kind [that is, _landing of troops_] is feasible with all
our late developments, which are developing further every day
(_e.g._ we have our wireless on top of Admiralty Building and
are communicating with the Scilly Islands now and shortly I hope
Gibraltar and so certainly to every point of the German coast where
we shall have Wireless Cruisers all over the place. (_Not a dog
will wag its tail without being reported._) So don’t let us get a
scare over 24,000 men coming unobserved. _One lot of 12,000_ can
be put in as the limit; but my suggestion is--_leave out numbers_,
and simply say as a precautionary measure for the confidence of the
country, _it’s a good safe arbitrary standard to lay down that two
Divisions of Regular Troops_ are always to be left in the Country
just in the same way as laid down at the Admiralty that the Home
Fleet is not for Service abroad.

* * * * *

1909.
_Jan. 26th._

... The Admiralty hear (by wireless every moment) what all the
Admirals and Captains are saying to each other anywhere in Europe
and even over to the coasts of America.

* * * * *

1909.
_March 15th._

Private & Secret & _Personal_. I have just finished in these early
hours a careful re-study of your paper E. 5 (which I love) and
the criticisms thereon by French and the General Staff. I dismiss
French’s criticism as being that of a pure correct Cavalry expert
and not dealing with the big questions. The General Staff criticism
is on the other hand _the thin end of the insidious wedge of our
taking part in Continental War as apart absolutely from Coastal
Military Expeditions in pure concert with the Navy_--expeditions
involving hell to the enemy because backed by an invincible Navy
(the citadel of the Military force). I don’t desire to mention
these expeditions and never will, as our military organisation
is so damnably leaky! but it so happens for two solid hours
this morning I have been studying one of these of inestimable
value only involving 5,000 men, and some guns, and horses about
500--a mere fleabite! but a collection of these fleabites would
make Wilhelm scratch himself with fury! However, the point of my
letter is this--Ain’t we d--d fools to go on wasting our very
precious moments in these abstruse disquisitions on this line
and that or the passage of the Dutch German Frontier River and
whether the bloody fight is to be at Rheims or Amiens, until the
Cabinet have decided the great big question raised in your E. 5:
_Are we or are we not going to send a British Army to fight on
the Continent as quite distinct and apart from Coastal Raids and
seizures of Islands, etcetera, which the Navy dominate?_ Had not
the Prime Minister better get this fixed up before we have any more
discussions such as foreshadowed to-morrow?

* * * * *

1909.
_March 21st._

... It won’t do to resign on a _hypothesis_ but on a fact! All is
in train for the _8_ Dreadnoughts! and as Grey says when the day
is reached to sign the contracts and _then_ a veto--_then_ is the
day to go in a great company and not one alone!... I am vehemently
urged to squash my “malignant stabbers-in-the-back” by making a
speech somewhere and saying as follows--but I won’t--it would be an
effectual cold douche to the 8 Dreadnoughts a year! I might say

“The unswerving intention of 4 years has _now_ culminated in _two_
complete Fleets in Home Waters, _each of which_ is incomparably
superior to the whole German Fleet mobilised for war. Don’t take
my word! Count them, see them for yourselves! You _will_ see them
next June. This can’t alter for years, even were we supinely
passive in our building; but it won’t alter because we will have 8
Dreadnoughts a year. _So sleep quiet in your beds!_”

And I might also add:--

“The Germans are not building in this feverish haste to fight you!
_No!_ it’s the daily dread they have of a second Copenhagen, which
they know a Pitt or a Bismarck would execute on them!

“Cease building or I strike!”

* * * * *

1909.
_March 30th._

... Grey rubbed in two great points yesterday:--

(i) Lack of information as to German acceleration will be acted on
as if acceleration were a fact.

(ii) The _8_ this year won’t affect next year.

* * * * *

1909.
_June 15th._

... Yes, we made a good job of Saturday; but the two most
noticeable things of all were never noticed:--

(i) The swarm of Destroyers going 20 knots past the Dreadnought
found themselves suddenly confronted by a lot of passenger steamers
and yachts, which at the last moment got right in their way--the
accidents might have been intense--but the young Destroyer
commanders kept their nerve and their speed and scootled through
the eye of the needle just grazing them all. It was splendid to
see and made my heart warm! (N.B.--A Press delegate--the _Toronto
Globe_, I think, seized me by the arm and said, “_Sir, I see the
glint of battle in your eye!_”)

(ii) I saw the Speaker of the House of Commons being bundled into a
“char-à-banc” holding 24 other promiscuous persons by a bluejacket.
Truly a democratic sight!

* * * * *

1909.
_July 3rd._

... The latest development is that somebody has a pile of my
private letters to various people--not printed or typewritten but
_the original letters_, so he says, which he is going to produce
unless I agree to resign in October! Some of the letters stolen
and some given (so I am told!). However “hot” they may be I don’t
regret a word I ever wrote, and I believe my countrymen will
forgive me. _Anyhow I won’t be blackmailed!_ There was murder in
the King’s eye when I told him (but I didn’t tell him all!)... _I
am going to fight to the finish! Heaven bless you for your help._

* * * * *

1909.
_August 3rd._

... The Mouse was able to help the Lion yesterday as the King got
on to you in regard to vile attempts of jealousy as to your being
on the Defence Committee. The King is certainly A 1 in sticking to
his friends! but you have always said this yourself to me when I
have been down on my luck! All has gone most splendidly in all ways
and the King is enormously gratified at the magnificent show of
the Fleet to put before the Emperor of Russia. I told the Emperor
it was a fine avenue!--18 miles of ships--the most powerful in the
world and none of them more than 10 years old!

* * * * *

1909.
_August 27th._

[A letter on the Beresford Report speaks of two “base innuendoes,”
of which the second is]

(ii) The “_suggestio falsi_” that the Admiralty had been wanting in
Strategical Thought--whereas we had effected the immense advance of
establishing the Naval War College and gave evidence of practical
strategy in effecting the concentration of our Fleets instead
of the previous state of dispersion. No such redistribution of
strategical force since the days of Noah!

But worse still--Not one word of commendation for the Admiralty
for its unparalleled work in gaining fighting efficiency and
instant readiness for war by the institution of the Nucleus Crew
system--the introduction of Battle practice--the unexampled advance
in Gunnery (the “Invincible” with her 12-inch guns hitting the
target 1/14th her own size _15 times out of 18 at 5 miles_, she
herself going 20 knots and the target also moving at an unknown
speed and unknown course) and getting rid of 160 vessels that
could neither fight nor run away--_Not one word of appreciation of
all this by the Committee!_ and yet they had the practical result
before them in the manœuvres of 374 vessels manœuvring in fogs and
shoals without a single mishap or a single defect and 96 Submarines
and Torpedo Craft on the East Coast making Invasion ridiculous!
No--it has been a bitter disappointment--more bitter because each
of the five members of the Committee so expressive to me and to
others of the complete victory of the Admiralty. _Cowards all!_ It
is the one redeeming feature that _The Times_ came down decidedly
on the right side of the fence! the one and only paper that got at
the kernel of the matter. _Discipline!_ where art thou now after
this Report?

Lord Fisher as Principal Aide-de-Camp.]

* * * * *

1909.
_Sept. 13th._

... What pleases me most is the King having sent for you, and your
1½ hours’ breakfast and afterwards driving with him, because as no
doubt you know, ---- (and some others) started a propaganda against
you which fell absolutely flat and it’s a rattling good thing the
King making much of you in this way as it gets _about and without
any question the King now largely moulds the public will!_ As to
your letter in regard to myself, it of course gives me great
joy that the King gives me his blessing and also dear Knollys’s
wonderful fidelity to me is a miracle! (I always think of an
incident long ago when he calmly ignored a furious effusion of mine
to the King and put the letter in the fire without saying a word to
me till long afterwards! I all the time joyful--thinking I had done
splendidly!)

[After a forecast of a coming change in the Government the letter goes on]

You will at once say: What is the First Sea Lord going to do?
Answer--Nothing! It is the ONLY course to follow! I have thought it
all out most carefully and decided to keep absolutely dumb. When
a new Admiralty patent appears in the _London Gazette_ without my
name in it, I pack up and walk out and settle down in the Tyrol.
Temperature 70° in the shade and figs ten a penny and wear out
all my white tunics and white trowsers! McKenna, to whom I am
absolutely devoted, may force my hand to help him. In view of all
he has risked for me (he was practically out of the Cabinet for
24 hours at one time! This is a fact) I am ready to go to the
stake for him; but if he is well advised he also will be dumb....
I am so surprised how utterly both the Cabinet and the Press have
failed to see the “inwardness” of the new “Pacific Fleet”! I had
a few momentous words in private with Sir Joseph Ward (the Prime
Minister of New Zealand). _He saw it!_ It means _eventually_
Canada, Australia, New Zealand, the Cape (that is South Africa)
and India _running a complete Navy!_ We manage the job in Europe.
They’ll manage the job ... as occasion requires out there! The very
wonderful thing is that only dear old Lord Kelvin and the First Sea
Lord at the first wanted the Battle Cruiser type alone and _not
“Dreadnoughts”_; but we had a compromise, as you know, and got 3
_Indomitables_ with the Dreadnoughts; and all the world now has
got “Indomitables” on the brain! Hip! Hip! Hurrah!

* * * * *

1909.
_Dec. 25th._

... Wilson and I have talked a lot about our War plan for the Navy.
You know he told the Defence Committee that only he and I knew of
the War Plan, which is quite true and it was the same when his
fleet was joined with mine when South African War was in progress.
He would sooner die than disclose it. (God bless Sir Arthur Wilson!)

* * * * *

1910.
_Jan. 23rd._