Chapter X

_March 19, 1811._--We left Trichinopoly, to proceed to Bangalore. I had upon this march a doolie, for the first time since we came to India; and I had now travelled about 1600 miles with the Royals, since the regiment arrived in the country. We reached Bangalore upon the 12th of April; and, as I continued still very poorly, the doctor told the commanding officer, that it was in vain to keep me in India, in the hopes of regaining my health; for that was a thing not in the least to be expected, so I was ordered to be invalided. I accordingly passed the Board upon the 20th of August, along with thirty-two more; but only eighteen of these were ordered for Europe.

I now, according to promise, resume my story of the little girl that went to Serjeant Brown at Trichinopoly, when we took home the orphan, to whom my wife had been godmother. This serjeant's wife was attacked by the flux, after we came to Bangalore, and being a woman grievously addicted to liquor, she was for some time abandoned by all the women who wished well to their character; but my wife hearing of her deplorable state, could not think of a countrywoman dying amongst black people, without any European woman paying the least attention to her. She determined, therefore, to render her what assistance was in her power; and, accordingly, went one day to her room, where she found her in a very loathsome state, attended only by her black female servant, and the child crying very much. She asked the woman what made the child cry so bitterly? to which she replied, _choar elia_, (that is, she has no meat; or rather, she is crying for hunger.) After putting clean clothes upon Mrs. Brown's bed, and doing all that she could do for her immediate comfort; she brought the poor starved little creature into our hut[14], and said unto me, "O! Robert, if you will not take it amiss, I will keep this poor object, and see if I can do any thing for her." I cheerfully agreed to her humane proposal; and could scarcely help crying, when I saw the child crying; and my wife also bathed in tears. We accordingly kept the child, and Mrs. Brown still getting worse, died in a few days. My wife became much attached to the little girl; and the period drawing near when I had to leave the regiment, we proposed to Serjeant Brown to take her home to Scotland with us, but he formally refused, saying that he would get her brought up himself; but we could not think of leaving her in the country, as Serjeant Brown might soon be taken from her by death[15]; and, likewise, because a man in his situation could not do his duty to a child like this, when he had no one but a black woman to look after his domestic matters; and besides, we could not think of taking her sister home, and leaving her in the country; so I spoke to the adjutant of the regiment, and it was soon settled that she was to accompany us.

[14] Some of the married people had liberty to build small
houses for themselves outside the barracks.

[15] I have received word since I left the regiment of this
man's death.

This child was twenty months old when we took her home, and she could not set her foot upon the ground, more than if she had not been twenty weeks; she had the appearance of a monkey, more than any of the human species I ever saw; she was indeed nothing, I may say, but skin and bone; and was all covered over with a kind of white hairy down, and her skin, by being so much exposed to the sun with the black woman, was like a duck's foot, so that she was really a loathsome object; but by the time that she had been with us a few weeks, she not only could stand, but, to our great enjoyment, was able to walk about holding by my hand; but after she began to get a little flesh upon her, she broke all out into boils; many of them of such a size, as to require to be lanced by the doctor, and the scars of several of them remain upon her until this day; but I shall have occasion to speak about the children again; and, therefore, will say no more about them at present.

When I was upon the eve of leaving Bangalore, I thought if God spared me to return home, I might expect to see some of the friends and relatives of the men, who would be inquiring after them; I, therefore, wished to make myself acquainted as well as possible with the state of the regiment; and, for this purpose went to the orderly room, and received a statement of the men who had died and gone home invalids; I shall merely mention the number, as the names would be of no use to the reader. Total strength of his Majesty's 1st, or Royal Scots, after the grenadier company joined in Wallajahbad, 1006. Joined at different periods since the regiment came to India, 941; that is, a total of 1947 men, out of which number have died, and been invalided unfit for further service, eight hundred and forty-five.--Number of women that came to the country with the regiment, sixty-two; joined at different periods, twenty, out of which died thirty-two. We had at this time only two children in life that came out with the regiment, and the total number of children that died upon the passage, and since we landed, fifty-seven; that is a total of nine hundred and thirty-four, including invalids, in less than seven years. There were also eight women who left their husbands in the country, and went to officers of different regiments, being "drawn away of their own lust and enticed;" that insatiable desire of "wearing of gold and putting on of apparel," displayed by too many, was their ruin; but before I left the country, three of these poor wretches died in great misery, and four of them became common prostitutes about Madras. The remaining female of this unhappy class, in consequence of some disease, was reduced to such a state of decrepitude, as to be drawn about in a small cart, being unable to walk. What a pity, and a shame it is, that ever such scenes should be exhibited by those who bear the name of Christians; and, particularly, in a country which we are labouring to Christianize. Sure I am, that it operates greatly against the success of these excellent missionaries, whose labours are carried on near any of our regiments; for, when the natives see the shamefully inconsistent conduct of the soldiers and other Europeans, they cannot but think that their own religion is better than that of our countrymen, since, generally speaking, these are much inferior to them in point of sobriety, and some other moral habits.

It is easier for the Christian reader to conceive, than for me to describe, my feelings for a few days previous to leaving the regiment; but just place yourself, as it were, in my circumstances, and let the past and the future be present to your mind: suppose yourself to have been for seven years absent from your native country, and from all those who were near and dear to you at home, and, above all, from the public ordinances of divine grace, and to have been travelling in that wilderness wherein (both literally and figuratively) there was often no way; and also to have been as it were at the gates of death, when there could be little rational hope entertained of ever being brought up again, much less of having the joyful anticipation of soon being restored to your native country, your friends, and even perhaps to a health of which you had long been deprived; and, in a word, to pure air, pure water, and, above all, to a pure Gospel--I say, suppose yourself placed in these circumstances, and see if you will wonder when I tell you my joyful feelings were excited almost to rapture upon this occasion. But you may be ready to say, was there nothing I was leaving behind me calculated to raise in my mind feelings of an opposite kind? No affectionate friends with whom I had enjoyed agreeable fellowship? No doubt there were such friends, and I bless God I can say, that they were friends who had not only travelled part of the weary way with me in that wilderness, but whose society I hope to enjoy again in the promised land; and when I saw and thought on such friends, my mind was no doubt agitated, and a conflict of joy and grief was awakened in my breast. I will just select one solitary individual for my present purpose, as her situation was peculiarly trying, and consequently better calculated to touch the sympathetic feelings, by way of illustrating what I have stated; namely, that I was not without friends from whose social and religious fellowship I was about to be separated.

This person was a young woman, named Mrs. Copwick, who came along with her husband from his Majesty's 33d, when the volunteers from that regiment joined us before they embarked for Europe. Her father and mother had been for a number of years in the regiment, and she was born and brought up in it; and when she attained her 18th year, the old people encouraged her to keep company with the drill serjeant of the corps, who was a man of very depraved habits, and who, in point of years, might have been her father, but he knew how to manage their failings by his own experience, and used to give them many a hearty treat of liquor for her sake, and to gratify his own insatiable desire for drinking at the same time.

The consequence was, notwithstanding the poor girl's disinclination, that her parents got them joined together in a marriage contract. Mrs. C. had been in our regiment for some time before I was acquainted with her, and our acquaintance arose from my wife bringing her into our hut shortly after we came to Bangalore. We were several times in each other's company before we had any conversation of a religious kind; and the first time that I may say any of us had a favourable opportunity was, I think, one Sabbath forenoon, when I was engaged reading Doddridge's Rise and Progress. I happened to make some observations on the subject, which gave her a suitable opportunity of opening her mind to me, which, it struck me, from some previous circumstances, she had been desirous of doing. I was truly delighted with the simple, undisguised manner in which she expressed her sentiments and feelings, and happy that I had it partly in my power to relieve the uneasiness of her mind, and to assist her inquiries after divine truth. From this time we endeavoured to make it convenient frequently to have some discourse together in our hut; the Sabbath, in a particular manner, being devoted by us for our mutual edification; and she found it a very severe trial indeed to be compelled to exchange our company and conversation for the company and unprofitable conversation of the men, when she went to her barrack-room at night, and, above all, to face her brutal husband, who perceived by her artless manner of endeavouring to persuade him to leave off his wicked courses, how she had been employed. Her attempts to reclaim him, alas! were all in vain, for the best answer that she would receive from him for this kindest of all love, was to keep her tongue to herself, and not trouble him with her ---- nonsense; and if she attempted, while he was defaming, to entreat, it was well if he did not enforce his denunciations by the weight of an unmerciful hand. Such was the miserable situation of this poor female, who had, besides this, the care of two young children, and was unwearied in her endeavours to make her husband and them comfortable. Now, my dear reader, if you have been placing yourself all along in my circumstances, you will certainly partake, in part, of my feelings; but, after all, it will only be in part; for although the power of imagination is great, yet I am persuaded you will come far short of the reality; still I am sure you will not wonder at my being sorry to part with this truly amiable young woman, who was earnestly desirous to obtain the knowledge of that way in which she might "escape the wrath to come," and in whom I felt the more deeply interested from a consideration of my former situation in the Prince of Wales's Island, where I so earnestly desired some person to assist me in inquiries of a similar kind. Now, all that I could do for her in this case, (for parted we must be,) was to give her my advice, my best gift[16], and my blessing with it, namely, Doddridge's Rise and Progress of Religion in the Soul, (which book I formerly mentioned having purchased from one of the men in Hydrabad,) and which had been of great use to myself; and I hope the blessing of God has rendered it of great service to her also. In a word, we parted with very sorrowful hearts, but our sorrow was not without hope, for that blessed religion which had formerly supported our minds, and cheered us in many a gloomy hour, left us not even now, when we needed comfort; but told us that the sufferings of the present time were not worthy to be compared with the glory that should be revealed in us at our meeting in Emmanuel's land; and that our light afflictions which might intervene, were but for a moment, and would, by the divine blessing, work out for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.

[16] She had already a Bible of her own.

The invalids left Bangalore upon the 13th September, 1813, and proceeded to Punamalee, a depôt for recruits from Europe, and invalids from India, homeward bound. We were ordered there to be in readiness for the first Company's ship that should touch at Madras. We arrived at Punamalee upon the 1st of October, 1813. I had in this place a severe attack of the bile upon the stomach; but it was not the disorder generally called by that name in this country; for it has nearly all the symptoms of the flux, being accompanied with great pain in the bowels, which are generally much swelled, along with a considerable degree of sickness. I was so much exhausted by it in two days, that I could not turn myself in the bed without assistance. I continued about a week very ill, and had more the appearance of getting a grave in India, than of ever seeing my native country again; but it was the wise saying of a worthy divine, that man is immortal until his day come; for while there are more days, there are means stirred up. But often, since I came to India, have I been inclined to take up the language of good Hezekiah, "I have said in the cutting off of my days, I shall go to the gates of the grave; I am deprived of the residue of my years. I said I shall not see the Lord, even the Lord, in the land of the living; I shall behold man no more with the inhabitants of the world." But I can now add, with the same good man, "O Lord, thou hast in love to my soul delivered it from the pit of corruption; thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back: for the grave cannot praise thee; death cannot celebrate thee; they that go down to the pit cannot hope for thy truth: the living, the living, he shall praise thee, as I do this day." O that I may devote my spared life unto thy service.

While we lay at Punamalee, Paddy L--, of our regiment, drowned himself in a tank, at the back of the barracks, upon a Sabbath morning. This man was going along with us for Europe, with a bad discharge, in consequence of having made himself unfit for further service by shooting off his hand, for which dreadful outrage against the laws of both God and man, as well as against his own body, he was sentenced to receive corporal punishment; to be kept in confinement during his stay with the regiment; and to be sent home with a blank discharge. He had also been frequently confined, after we came here, for different crimes; and once while he was in the _Cungie-house_,[17] having obtained a light, on pretence of lighting his pipe, he set fire to the place, attempting to burn both it and himself; and it was with considerable difficulty that his life, at that time, was saved, being taken out half suffocated, and as black as a chimney-sweep. I cannot inform the reader what were his diabolical motives for drowning himself; but we need not wonder much at it, when he was so depraved as to commit such crimes as I have mentioned, and indeed many others which I decline noticing; only this I will say, that "destruction and misery are in the way of such people, and the way of peace they have not known;" and no marvel that "their feet run into evil, and make haste to shed blood, seeing they have no fear of God before their eyes."

[17] The _Cungie-house_ is intended to answer the same
purpose as the black-hole for soldiers in this country;
where the prisoners receive for subsistence boiled rice, and
the water with which it is made ready, which kind of food is
called _Cungie_; and from which also the place above
mentioned receives the appellation _Cungie-house_.

While here also I received a letter from Serjeant Gray, giving us the melancholy intelligence of his wife having had a severe attack of the flux, and of that disorder terminating in her dissolution, and earnestly soliciting me to send him a word of consolation, and an advice suited to the particularly trying circumstances in which he was placed; to which request I most readily complied in the best way I was able. My wife and I were much affected at the unexpected news; and no wonder, considering that great intimacy which had always subsisted between our families ever since the time I received Doddridge's Rise and Progress in Hydrabad. Our attachment to one another was such, that during the time the regiment was in Trichinopoly, when our huts were at a considerable distance, we very seldom passed a day, if duty would permit, without being in one another's company, and frequently we even dined together; and this friendship subsisted until we left the regiment, when we had truly a sorrowful parting; but we then little imagined that one of us was so near the eternal world. Surely the language of Divine Providence to us at this time was, "Be ye also ready, for at such an hour as ye think not the Son of Man cometh." Surely this is an important, universal, and perpetual admonition, "O that we were wise, that we understood this, that we would consider our latter end." My letter no sooner reached the regiment, than Mrs. Copwick seeing it, wrote off immediately to Punamalee, requesting me very kindly "to send her also a word of advice before our embarkation; adding, that although she had not forgotten my former counsels, yet she had a great desire to have something from me in writing, that would not only refresh her memory, but also excite her gratitude to her heavenly Father, who had used me as an instrument, that Christ might be formed in her soul, and that it might also be a help to support her mind, under her severe trials, and encourage her to a continuance in well-doing, trusting that at last she might receive the end of her faith, even the salvation of her soul."

I need scarcely inform the Christian reader with what joy I received this delightful letter, and with what comfort and enlargement of heart I answered it; all that I shall say is, that I wish God may bless every mean which I have been enabled to use for her eternal advantage, and that we may finally meet again upon the right hand of the judge, when he which soweth, and they which reap, shall rejoice together.

I have since learned from good authority, that Serjeant Gray has followed his wife to the narrow house appointed for all living, and that Mrs. C.'s wicked husband is also gone from our world, dying as he had lived, and that God, in his kind providence, has provided a friend who took an interest in the welfare of his widow, and obtained a place for her in the family of a respectable clergyman in the country, to take the superintendence of his children, having made ample provision both for her and the orphans. In their happy experience, therefore, was that promise fulfilled[18], "Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive, and let your widows trust in me."

[18] Only, to be sure, in a certain sense; but it would have
been verified strictly if the serjeant had been one of God's
people.

My dear reader, you may naturally enough think that the writer of this little work is very defective in his duty, when he has travelled so many hundred miles in India, and has scarcely so much as even dropped a hint of the appearance of the country, the customs and manners of its inhabitants, their religion, &c.; but my reason for this is, that I may make this work appear as regular and satisfactory as possible; for I have designedly delayed entering upon these things until I was just going to take farewell of the country. And now, as I am going to take a long, and, I hope, a last adieu of that part of the world, where I have suffered much, and, I bless God, have enjoyed much, I will attempt a very brief account of these, in their regular order, before I step on board ship, and close my bodily eyes--for ever perhaps--upon this scene.