Chapter IV: Act II

ENTER LEFT—_Chorus of Feminine House-Seekers and Chorus of Masculine House-Seekers, waving permits._

FULL CHORUS.

I want to see⸺

TENOR.

Oh, certainly!
Be kind enough to follow me.

FEMALE CHORUS.

This parlor’s rather nice;
This parlor’s rather small;
Are you troubled with rats and mice?
Will the landlord paint the wall?

MALE CHORUS.

Does the roof leak when it’s clear?

FEMALE CHORUS.

Are the bedrooms tinted blue?
How long have you lived here?
Will the range cook oyster stew?

_Exeunt, R._

FULL CHORUS (_re-entering, R._)

It wouldn’t do!

FEMALE CHORUS.

It’s warm!

MALE CHORUS.

It’s cold!

FEMALE CHORUS.

It’s quite too new!

MALE CHORUS.

It’s quite too old!

FULL CHORUS.

I wanted gas!
I wanted grass!
We all expected fine plate-glass!
And shelves for cheese!
And orange trees!
And beds for raising strawberries!

I dwell in a marble hall,
And I couldn’t make it do;
And I don’t see how you live at all;
And I’m much obliged to you.

THE TENDER HEART.

She gazed upon the burnished brace
Of plump ruffed grouse he showed with pride
Angelic grief was in her face:
“How _could_ you do it, dear?” she sighed.
“The poor, pathetic, moveless wings!
The songs all hushed—oh, cruel shame!”
Said he, “The partridge never sings.”
Said she, “The sin is quite the same.

“You men are savage through and through.
A boy is always bringing in
Some string of bird’s eggs, white and blue,
Or butterfly upon a pin.
The angle-worm in anguish dies,
Impaled, the pretty trout to tease⸺”
“My own, I fish for trout with flies⸺”
“Don’t wander from the question, please!”

She quoted Burns’s “Wounded Hare,”
And certain burning lines of Blake’s,
And Ruskin on the fowls of air,
And Coleridge on the water-snakes.
At Emerson’s “Forbearance” he
Began to feel his will benumbed;
At Browning’s “Donald” utterly
His soul surrendered and succumbed.

“Oh, gentlest of all gentle girls,”
He thought, “beneath the blessed sun!”
He saw her lashes hung with pearls,
And swore to give away his gun.
She smiled to find her point was gained,
And went, with happy parting words
(He subsequently ascertained),
To trim her hat with humming-birds.

—So good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.

_A Midsummer Night’s Dream._