Chapter XII: Act IV: SCENE: Library at DR. ATHELNEY’S (2)

_Flori._ My sister!

_Psyche._ Oh, my dear,
What are you doing here--and who are these?

_Hilar._ I am that Prince Hilarion to whom
Your Princess is betrothed--I come to claim
Her promised love--your brother Florian, here,
And Cyril--come to see me safely through.

_Psyche._ The Prince Hilarion!--Cyril too! How strange!
My earliest playfellows!

_Hilar._ (_astonished_). Why let me look!
Are you that learned little Psyche who
At school alarmed her mates because she called
A buttercup “ranunculus bulbosus”?

_Cyril._ Are you indeed that Lady Psyche, who
At children’s parties drove the conjurer wild,
Explaining all his tricks before he did them?

_Hilar._ Are you that learned little Psyche, who
At dinner parties brought into dessert
Would tackle visitors with “you don’t know
Who first determined longitude--I do--
Hipparchus ’twas, B.C. one sixty three!”
Are you indeed that little Psyche then?

_Psyche._ That small phenomenon in truth am I!
But gentlemen, ’tis death to enter here--
My vow will make me speak. What shall I do?
This palace is a rat trap--we the bait--
And you the foolish victims!

_Cyril._ Be it so--
A prisoned rat, before he dies the death,
Has liberty to nibble at the bait! (_kisses her_).

_Psyche._ Forbear, sir--pray--you know not what you do!
We have all promised to renounce mankind.

_Hilar._ But on what grounds do you, fair Psyche, base
This senseless resolution?

_Psyche._ Senseless? No!
It’s based upon the grand hypothesis
That as the Ape is undeveloped Man,
So Man is undeveloped Woman.

_Hilar._ Then,
This, of all others, is the place for us!

_Enter MELISSA unperceived, at back; she listens in astonishment._

If Man is only undeveloped Woman,
We men, if we work very hard indeed,
And do our utmost to improve ourselves--
May in good time _be_ women! Though I own
Up to this point (as far as I’m aware)
The metamorphosis has not commenced.

_Melissa._ (_coming down_). Oh, Lady Psyche!--

_Psyche._ (_startled_). What--you heard us, then?
Oh, all is lost!

_Melissa._ Not so; I’ll breathe no word.
(_Advancing in astonishment to FLORIAN._)
How marvelously strange! And are you then,
Indeed, young men?

_Flori._ Well, yes--just now we are;
But hope, by dint of study, to become,
In course of time, young women!

_Melissa._ (_eagerly_). No! no! no!
Oh, don’t do that! Is this indeed a man?
I’ve often heard of them, but till this day
Never set eyes on one. They told me men
Were hideous, idiotic, and deformed!
They’re quite as beautiful as women are!
(_patting FLORIAN’S cheek_)
Their cheeks have not that pulpy softness which
One gets so weary of in womankind!
Their features are more marked,--and oh! their chins
(_feeling his chin_)
How curious!

_Flori._ I fear it’s rather rough.

Melissa. Oh, don’t apologize--I like it so!
But I forgot; my mother, Lady Blanche,
Is coming--and her eyes are very keen--
She will detect you, sir!

_Hilar._ Oh, never fear!
We saw her ladyship an hour ago;
She seemed to have suspicions of our sex,
And showed us robes, and gave us needlework,
As though to test us. Well, we did the work
Like seamstresses--and named the various stuffs,
As if we’d spent a full apprenticeship
At Swan and Edgar’s!

_Enter LADY BLANCHE. Exeunt the three GENTLEMEN with LADY PSYCHE._

_Blanche._ (_aside to MELISSA_). Here, Melissa--hush!
Those are the three new students?

_Melissa._ (_confused_). Yes, they are--
They’re charming girls!

_Blanche._ (_sarcastically_). Particularly so!
So graceful, and so very womanly;
So skilled in all a girl’s accomplishments!

_Melissa._ (_confused_). Yes very skilled!

_Blanche._ You stupid little fool!
Awhile ago, I placed before their eyes,
Some Cluny lace--_they called it Valenciennes_--
Hemming is stitching--so at least they say--
A gusset is a gore--a tuck’s a flounce--
Merino’s cotton--linen’s calico--
Poplin is silk, and rep is corduroy!
I bade them hem a pocket handkerchief--
_They placed their thimbles on their forefingers!_
And set about their work as clumsily
As if they had been men, in girls’ disguise!

_Melissa._ (_trembling_).
You surely wrong them, Mother dear, for see--
(_picking up a case from floor_)
Here is an _étui_ dropped by one of them--
Containing scissors, needles, and--

_Blanche._ (_taking it from her, and opening it_). Cigars!!!
Why these _are_ men! And you knew this, you cat!

_Melissa._ Oh, spare them--they _are_ gentlemen, indeed,
The Prince Hilarion--betrothed long since
To Princess Ida--with two trusted friends!
Consider, Mother, he’s her husband now!
And has been, twenty years! Consider, too, (_insidiously_)
You’re only second here--you should be first--
Assist the Prince’s plan, and when he gains
The Princess Ida’s hand, you _will_ be first!
You will design the fashions--think of that!
And always serve out all the punishments!
The scheme is harmless, Mother--wink at it!

_Blanche._ The prospect’s tempting! Well, well, well, I’ll try--
Though I’ve not winked at any thing for years!
’Tis but one step towards my destiny--
The mighty Must! Inevitable Shall! [_Exit LADY BLANCHE._

_Melissa._ Saved for a while, at least!

_Enter FLORIAN._

_Flori._ Melissa here?

_Melissa._ Oh, sir, you must away from this at once,
My mother guessed your sex--it was my fault,
I blushed and stammered so, that she exclaimed:
“Can these be men” (then seeing this) “Why these--”
“_Are men!_” she would have added, but “_are men_”
Stuck in her throat! She keeps your secret, sir,
For reasons of her own; but fly from this,
And take me with you--that is--no, not that!

_Flori._ I’ll go--but not without you. (_Bell._) Why, what’s that?

_Melissa._ The luncheon bell.

_Flori._ I’ll wait for luncheon, then.
See, here’s Hilarion with the stern Princess,
And Cyril with my sister Psyche, too.

_Enter CYRIL with PSYCHE, and HILARION with PRINCESS, LADY
BLANCHE, also all the other GIRLS, over bridge, bearing
luncheon, which is spread. They all sit down and eat, CYRIL
drinking freely._

_Prin._ You say you know the Court of Hildebrand?
There is a prince there--I forget his name.

_Hilar._ Hilarion?

_Prin._ Exactly. Is he well?

_Hilar._ If it is well to droop and pine and mope--
To sigh, “Oh, Ida! Ida!” all day long--
“Ida! my love! my life! Oh, come to me!”--
If it is well, I say, to do all this,
Then Prince Hilarion is very well.

_Prin._ He breathes _our_ name? Well, it’s a common one!
And is the booby comely?

_Hilar._ Pretty well.
I’ve heard it said that if I dressed myself
In Prince Hilarion’s clothes (supposing this
Consorted with my maiden modesty),
I might be taken for Hilarion’s self.
But what is this to you or me, who think
Of all mankind with unconcealed contempt?

_Prin._ Contempt? Why, damsel, when I think of man,
Contempt is not the word!

_Cyril._ (_getting tipsy_). I’m sure of that;
Or, if it is, it surely should not be!

_Hilar._ (_to CYRIL_). Be quiet, idiot, or they’ll find us out!

_Cyril._ The Prince Hilarion’s a goodly lad!

_Prin._ _You_ know him, then?

_Cyril._ I rather think I do!
We were inseparables.

_Prin._ Why, what’s this?
You loved him then? (_horrified_).

_Cyril._ We did--and do--all three!
And he loves us sincerely in return!

_Hilar._ (_confused_). Madam, she jests--
(_aside to CYRIL._) Remember where you are!

_Cyril._ Jests? Not at all--why, bless my heart alive,
You and Hilarion, when at the Court,
Rode the same horse!

_Prin._ Astride?

_Cyril._ Of course--why not?
Wore the same clothes--and once or twice, I think
Got tipsy in the same good company!

_Prin._ Well, these are nice young ladies, on my word--

_Cyril._ (_to FLORIAN_). Don’t you remember that old laughing song,
That he and we would troll in unison,
At the Three Pigeons--just when daylight broke?
I’ll give it you!

_Song, CYRIL, Air--Laughing Song from “Manon Lescaut.”_

A young and earnest reader,
Once with a special pleader,
Was reading for the bar,
Ha! ha! ha! ha!
A budding luminary,
Particularly wary,
As lovers often are,
Ha! ha! ha! ha!
He met a lady bright, ha! ha!
’Twas very late at night, ha! ha!
There shone no moon nor star,
Ha! ha! ha! ha!
Her head lay on his shoulder,
And what d’you think he told her?--
You’ll never guess, I know.
I scarcely like to tell you,
For fear it should repel you--
Come, whisper, whisper low!
No! no! no! no! no! no! no! no!
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!

They threaded many mazes,
Of buttercups and daisies,
They wandered very far,
Ha! ha! ha! ha!
So amiable he found her,
He put his arms around her,
And she opposed no bar,
Ha! ha! ha! ha!
He squeezed her little fin, ha! ha!
He chucked her little chin, ha! ha!
And christened her his star,
Ha! ha! ha! ha!
Her head lay on his shoulder,
And what d’you think he told her?
You’ll never guess, I know--
I’ll hazard it and tell you,
Although it may repel you--
Come, whisper, whisper low!
No! no! no! no! no! no! no! no!
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
(_After song he lights a cigarette._)

_Prin._ Infamous creature--get you hence away!

_Hilar._ Dog! Here is something more to sing about! (_Strikes him._)

_Cyril._ (_sobered_). Hilarion--are you mad?

_Prin._ (_astonished_). Hilarion? Help!
Why these are men! Lost! Lost! betrayed! undone!
(_running on to bridge_).
Girls, get you hence--man-monsters, if you dare
Approach one step--I--ah! (_loses balance and falls._)

_Psyche._ Oh! save her, sir!

_Blanche._ It’s useless, sir, you’ll only catch your death.
(_HILARION springs in._)

_Sacha._ He catches her--

_Melissa._ And now he lets her go--
Again she’s in his grasp--

_Psyche._ And now she’s not!
He seizes her back hair--

_Blanche._ And it comes off!

_Psyche._ No--no--she’s saved! She’s saved!
She’s saved! She’s saved!

(_HILARION is seen swimming with the PRINCESS in one arm--he
swims to a bank and the PRINCESS and he are brought to land._)

_Prin._ You’ve saved our lives and so have saved your own,
But leave this palace--men in women’s clothes!

_Enter LYDIA, running._

Why, what’s the matter now?

_Lydia._ King Hildebrand,
Holding your father captive, sends to say
That if Hilarion suffers any harm,
Your father’s life will pay the penalty,
Moreover--if you do not yield yourself,
According to the tenor of your oath,
He will attack you ere to-morrow’s dawn--
And force compliance!

_Prin._ Will he so, indeed?
We’ll teach these men a lesson. (_To HILARION._) Get you gone!
You saved our lives--we thank you for it--go!
Arm, Amazons! We’ll show these gentlemen,
How nobly Woman vindicates her claim
To equal individuality!
Arm! Arm! This is our opportunity.

_The three GENTLEMEN are thrust forth by the AMAZONS. Tableau._

SCENE FOURTH.--_Hildebrand’s Camp before Ida’s Castle._

_Enter HILDEBRAND and GAMA._

_Hilde._ The Princess Ida still holds out, although
Our camp is fairly pitched before her walls.
King Gama, if Hilarion comes not back
All safe and sound, you’ll surely suffer death!
Your head for his!

_Gama._ The stakes are poorly matched:
It’s Lombard Street against a China orange!

_Hilde._ In the mean time, pray make yourself at home,
Direct my army as it were your own.
On every matter that concerns the state,
Your orders give;--they will not be obeyed,
But that don’t matter!

_Gama._ Don’t it?

_Hilde._ Not a jot!
The ecstasy of absolute command
Is seriously dashed when you reflect,
That for all consequences that ensue,
You by the world are held responsible!
But here, where all are bound to hear your word
With every outward token of respect,
They systematically disobey it,
Your power of high command is just as great,
The consequences absolutely _nil_.

_Enter ATHO._

_Atho._ My liege, three gentlemen await without,
Attended by a troop of soldiery. (_Gives note_).

_Gama._ (_reads_). “The Princes Arac, Guron, Scynthius,
King Gama’s sons, desire that you will set
Their father free.” (_To ATHO._) Admit these gentlemen.
[_Exit ATHO._
My sons! That’s brave!

_Enter ARAC, SCYNTHIUS, and GURON._

_Hilde._ What would you, gentlemen?

_Arac._ What would we? Why look you, King Hildebrand--
You hold our father in unkingly bonds,
Our sister you beleaguer in her home,
You threaten to lay waste our richest lands,
And then you coolly ask us, “What would we?”

_Guron._ We come to claim our father at your hands.

_Scynthius._ We come to save our sister Ida from
The rude assault of savage soldiery.
Why they are girls--mere girls--and should be stormed
As other girls are stormed, if stormed at all!

_Hilde._ As other girls are stormed so shall they be;
We’ll use no cannon, bayonet, or sword,
For such ungentlemanly arguments--
Convincing though they be--would but convince
These women ’gainst their will! We’ll witch them forth
With love songs, odes, and idle fripperies,
Such as a woman can not long withstand.
Stay, you shall see--

_Enter ATHO._

_Atho._ All is prepared, my liege
To storm the walls--

_Hilde._ Then let the siege commence!

_Enter FIRST OFFICER._

Who leads the serenading party, eh?

_First Officer._ Sir Michael Costa--

_Hilde._ Good! the light guitars
Fall in at six--the King’s own baritones,
Led by Sir Santley--

_First Officer._ He’s not knighted, sir!

_Hilde._ He shall be, then--they will parade at five.
[_Exit FIRST OFFICER._

_Enter SECOND OFFICER._

_Second Officer._ Who leads the scaling party, sir?

_Hilde._ Of course
The first light tenors--they can highest go. [_Exit SECOND OFFICER._

_Atho._ And who shall first climb up the outer wall,
And reconnoiter what goes on within?

_Hilde._ Some tenor, fool, who can “go up to see!” [_Exit ATHO._
Let all be furnished with their photographs,
And scatter them among these amazons.
Bid the director of the poets direct
And post five hundred valentines, and see
They get them by to-night’s delivery.
Go, tell the gallant lady, who commands
The horse brigade of royal milliners,
To place five hundred toilet tables out
Within full view of Princess Ida’s walls.
Upon them place five hundred mirrors--then
Lay out five hundred robes of French design;
And if they still hold out they’re more than women!
[_Exeunt OFFICERS, GAMA, ARAC, SCYNTHIUS, and GURON._

_King._ If all this fails, I have a deadlier scheme,
Five hundred waltzing bachelors--tried men,
Who can waltz forwards--backwards--anyhow--
Shall twirl and twist before their dazzled eyes,
Thrumming soft music on a light guitar.

_Song--KING HILDEBRAND, Air, “Largo al Factotum.”_

Like a teetotum with a guitar--
Just so!
La, la, la, la!
Bachelors spin at ’em thus from afar--
Just so!
La, la, la, la!
Oh, tickle their vanity;
Oh, never be chary,
Oh, flatter your fairy,
Ever unwary,
Tickle it, ah!
Bravo bravissimo,
Generalissimo.
Serve her it, ah!
Flatter her beauty,
With an acute eye,
Say it’s your duty,
Call her a star!
Sneer at another,
Coddle her mother,
Butter her brother,
Ever so far!
La, la, la, la!
Load her with frippery,
Glovery, slippery,
Cleverly planned, no going too far!
Marabout feather,
Gossamer airy,
Fastened together,
Give to your fairy.
La, la, la, la!
Oh, tickle her vanity,
Oh, never be chary,
Oh, flatter your fairy,
Ever unwary,
Tickle it, ah!
Marry her merrily,
Change it all, verily;
Snapping and wrangling,
Jingling and jangling,
Snarling and snapping,
Rubbing and rapping.
“Why are you mum to me?
“Why don’t you come to me?
“Why are you mum to me?
“Why don’t you come to me?
“Quicker, oh! quicker, oh! quicker, oh!”
My goodness! my gracious!
A row, sir!
Pucker your brow, sir,
Pucker it, ah!
Pucker it, ah!
Lick her, oh, no more!
Quicker, oh, “The door!”
Set it ajar!
Light a cigar!
Set it ajar!
Light a cigar!
Give her a sou!
Bid her adoo!
Give her a sou!
Bid her adoo!
Bravo bravissimo,
Finish your capering.
Like a teetotum
With a guitar!
With a guitar!
With a guitar!
Bravo bravissimo,
Generalissimo!
Take her and marry her,
Worry her, harry her;
Oh, you may carry her
Ever so far!
Just like a teetotum
With a guitar!

_Enter ATHO._

_Atho._ My liege, I bring good news, your plan succeeds.
Three ladies of the Princess Ida’s band
Are coming towards your camp.

_Hilde._ The mirrors did it!
Admit them.

_Enter HILARION, CYRIL and FLORIAN, still in women’s clothes._

Why--Hilarion! Cyril too!
And Florian! dressed as women. Ho! ho! ho! (_all jeer them_).

_Hilar._ We gained admission to fair Ida’s halls,
By this disguise--We were detected though,
And should have suffered death, but that she knew,
In killing us, she killed her father too!

_Gama._ (_in high glee_). Here, set me free! Hilarion safe again--
Is this indeed Hilarion?

_Hilar._ Yes it is--

_Gama._ Why you look handsome in your women’s clothes,
Stick to ’em--man’s attire becomes you not!
(_to FLORIAN and CYRIL_)
And you, young ladies, will you please to pray,
King Hildebrand to set me free again?
Hang on his neck and gaze into his eyes,
Bring all your woman’s wiles to bear on him.
He never could resist a pretty face!

_Cyril._ You dog! Though I wear woman’s garb, you’ll find
My sword is long and sharp.

_Gama._ Hush, pretty one!
Here’s a virago! Here’s a termagant!
If length and sharpness go for any thing,
You’ll want no sword while you can wag your tongue.

_Flori._ What need to talk of swords to such as he?
He’s old and crippled--(_to GAMA_) Oh, if you were young,
And tolerably straight--and I could catch
You all alone, I’d--Ah!

_Gama._ (_bashfully_). Oh, go along,
You naughty girl--why, I’m a married man!
But I’ve three sons--see, ladies--here they are--
Fine fellows--young and muscular and brave.
They’ll meet you, if you will. Come, what d’ye say?

_Arac._ Ay, pretty ones, engage yourselves with us,
If three rude warriors who have spent their lives
Hacking at enemies, affright you not!

_Hilar._ (_to GAMA_). Old as you are, I’d wring your shriveled neck
If you were not the Princess Ida’s father!

_Gama._ If I were not the Princess Ida’s father,
And so had not her brothers for my sons,
No doubt you’d wring my neck--in safety too!

_Hilar._ Enough! I speak for Florian and Cyril.
Arac, we take your challenge--three to three--
So that it’s understood that Ida’s hand
Depends upon the issue.

_Arac._ There’s my hand;
If she consents not--sister though she be
We’ll raze her castle to the very ground! [_Exeunt._

SCENE FIFTH.--_Inner Gate of Castle Adamant._

_All the LADY STUDENTS discovered--the eight SERVANTS as
Amazons--the others all around. Flourish--Enter PRINCESS IDA,
followed by LADY BLANCHE._

_Prin._ Is all prepared for war? We have to meet
Stern bearded warriors in fight to-day.
Wear naught but what is necessary to
Preserve your dignity before their eyes,
And give your limbs full play.

_Blanche._ One moment, ma’am,
Here is a paradox we should not pass
Without inquiry. We are prone to say,
“This thing is Needful--that Superfluous”--
Yet they invariably co-exist!
We find the Needful comprehended in
The circle of the grand Superfluous;
While the Superfluous can not be bought
Unless you’re amply furnished with the Needful.
These singular considerations are--

_Prin._ Superfluous, yet not Needful--so, you see,
These terms may independently exist.
Women of Adamant, we have to show
These men how they have under-rated us.
Now is the time to prove our titles to
The highest honors they monopolize.
Now is the time to prove our theory
That woman, educated to the work,
Can meet man face to face on his own ground,
And beat him there. Now let us set to work!
Where is our lady surgeon?

_Sacha._ Madam, here!

_Prin._ We shall require your skill to heal the wounds
Of those that fall.

_Sacha._ What! heal the wounded?

_Prin._ Yes!

_Sacha._ And cut off real live legs and arms?

_Prin._ Of course!

_Sacha._ I wouldn’t do it for a thousand pounds!

_Prin._ Why, how is this? Are you faint-hearted, girl?
You’ve often cut them off in theory.

_Sacha._ In theory I’ll cut them off again
With pleasure, and as often as you like--
But not in practice!

_Prin._ Coward, get you hence!
I’ve craft enough for that, and courage too.
I’ll do your work! My Amazons, advance!
Why, you are armed with spears--mere gilded toys!
Where are your muskets, pray?

_Ada._ Why, please you, ma’am,
We left them in the armory, for fear
That, in the heat and turmoil of the fight,
They might go off.

_Prin._ “They might!” Oh, craven souls,
Go off yourselves! Thank heaven, I have a heart
That quails not at the thought of meeting men.
_I_ will discharge your muskets. Off with you!
Where’s my bandmistress?

_Chloe._ Please you, ma’am, the band
Do not feel well, and can’t come out to-day!

_Prin._ Why, this is flat rebellion! I’ve no time
To talk to them just now! But happily
I can play several instruments at once,
And I will drown the shrieks of those that fall
With trumpet music such as soldiers love.
How stand we with respect to gunpowder?
My Lady Psyche--you who superintend
The lab’ratory, where your class compounds
That hideous chemical--are you prepared
To blow these bearded rascals into shreds?

_Psyche._ Why, madam--

_Prin._ Well?

_Psyche._ Let us try gentler means--
Treat them with the contempt that they deserve.
We can dispense with fulminating grains
While we have eyes with which to flash our rage.
We can dispense with villainous saltpeter,
While we have tongues with which to blow them up.
We can dispense, in short, with all the arts
That brutalize the practical polemist.

_Prin._ (_contemptuously_). I never knew a more dispensing chemist!
Away! away! I’ll meet these men alone,
For all my women have deserted me!

_Enter MELISSA._

_Melissa._ Madam, your brothers crave an audience.

_Prin._ My brothers? Why, what do they here?

_Melissa._ They come
To fight for you.

_Prin._ Admit them!

_Blanche._ Infamous!
One’s brothers, ma’am, are men!

_Prin._ So I have heard;
But all my women seem to fail me when
I need them most: in this perplexity
Even one’s brothers may be turned to use.

_Enter ARAC, GURON, and SCYNTHIUS._

_Arac._ My sisters!

_Prin._ Arac, Guron, Scynthius, too! (_they embrace._)

_Arac._ We have arranged that Prince Hilarion
And his two followers shall fight us here;
And if we fall, we’ve promised him your hand.

_Prin._ (_sighing_). So be it, Arac; brothers though you be,
With all your faults you’re brave, as brutes are brave.
So be it--fight them here, but (_aside and bashfully_)
oh, my brother,
Kill whom you will, but spare Hilarion!
He saved my life!

_Melissa._ (_aside to ARAC_). Oh, save me Florian,
He is her brother! (_indicating PSYCHE._)

_Psyche._ (_aside to ARAC_). Oh, spare Cyril, sir,
You’ve no idea what jolly songs he sings!

_Arac._ Bah! I can spare them all--I want them not!
But here they come, stand back, the lists prepare--
Get you within those walls, poor trembling ones,
And see that no one interferes with us.

_Enter HILARION, CYRIL, and FLORIAN, with KINGS GAMA and
HILDEBRAND--PRINCESS and LADIES retire within outer wall, and
group themselves on battlements._

_Gama._ Come boys, we’ve all prepared, begin! begin!
Why you lack mettle!--Gad, I’ll spur you up!
(_To ARAC_) Look, Arac--there’s the son of that vile king,
Who, when he held me as his prisoner,
Tormented me with tortures worse than death.
_I hadn’t any thing to grumble at!_
He found out what particular meats I loved,
And gave me them--the very choicest wine--
The costliest robes--the richest rooms were mine.
He suffered none to thwart my simplest plan,
And gave strict orders none should contradict me.
_He made my life a curse!_ Go in at them!
Avenge your father’s wrongs! (_To HILARION_) And as for you--
(_pointing to his sons_)
Here are three princes, sirs, who stand between
You and your happiness--so cut them down!
Give them no mercy, they will give you none.
Come, Prince Hilarion, begin, begin!
You’ve this advantage over warriors
Who kill their country’s enemies for pay,
You know what you are fighting for--look there!
(_pointing to LADIES on battlements._)

_Hilar._ Come on!

_Arac._ Come on!

_Cyril._ Come on!

_Scyn._ Come on!

_Flori._ Come on!

(_Desperate fight--at the end, HILARION, CYRIL, and FLORIAN wound
ARAC, GURON, and SCYNTHIUS._)

_Prin._ (_entering through gate_).
Hold! stay your hands!--we yield ourselves to you.
Ladies, my brothers all lie bleeding there!
Bind up their wounds--but look the other way.
Is this the end? How say you, Lady Blanche--
Can I with dignity my post resign?
And if I do, will you then take my place?

_Blanche._ To answer this, it’s meet that we consult
The great Potential Mysteries; I mean
The five Subjunctive Possibilities--
The May, the Might, the Would, the Could, the Should.
Can you resign? The prince Might claim you; if
He Might, you Could--and if you Should, I Would!

_Prin._ I thought as much. Then to my fate I yield--
So ends my cherished scheme! Oh, I had hoped
To band all women with my maiden throng,
And make them all abjure tyrannic Man!

_Hilde._ A noble aim!

_Prin._ You ridicule it now;
But if I carried out this glorious scheme,
At my exalted name Posterity
Would bow in gratitude!

_Hilde._ But pray reflect--
If you enlist all women in your cause,
And make them all abjure tyrannic Man,
The obvious question then arises, “How
Is this Posterity to be provided?”

_Prin._ I never thought of that! My Lady Blanche,
How do you solve the riddle?

_Blanche._ Don’t ask me--
Abstract Philosophy won’t answer it.
Take him--he is your Shall. Give in to Fate!

_Prin._ And _you_ desert me? I alone am stanch!

_Hilar._ Madam, you placed your trust in woman--well,
Woman has failed you utterly--try man,
Give him one chance, it’s only fair--besides,
Women are far too precious, too divine
To try unproven theories upon.
Experiments, the proverb says, are made
On humble subjects--try our grosser clay,
And mold it as you will!

_Cyril._ Remember, too,
Dear Madam, if at any time you feel
Aweary of the Prince, you can return
To Castle Adamant, and rule your girls
As heretofore, you know.

_Prin._ And shall I find
The Lady Psyche here?

_Psyche._ If Cyril, ma’am,
Does not behave himself, I think you will.

_Prin._ And you, Melissa, shall I find you here?

_Melissa._ Madam, however Florian turns out,
Unhesitatingly I answer, No.

_Gama._ Consider this, my love: if your mamma
Had looked on matters from your point of view
(I wish she had), why, where would you have been?

_Lady B._ There’s an unbounded field of speculation,
On which I could discourse for hours!

_Prin._ No doubt!
We will not trouble you. Hilarion,
I have been wrong--I see my error now.
Take me, Hilarion--“We will walk the world
Yoked in all exercise of noble end!
And so through those dark gates across the wild
That no man knows! Indeed, I love thee--Come!”

_Finale, from “Le Pont des Soupirs.”_

_Cyril._
Singers know
How sweetly at a piano
A tenor and soprano
Together sound.

_Chorus._
Singers know, &c.

_Hilar._
This will show
That men and women verily
Can get along more merrily
Together bound.

_Chorus._
This will show
That men and women verily
Can get along more merrily
Together bound!
Together bound!
Together bound!

THE PALACE OF TRUTH:

_A Fairy Comedy_,

IN THREE ACTS.

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.

KING PHANOR MR. BUCKSTONE.
PRINCE PHILAMIR MR. KENDAL.
CHRYSAL MR. EVERILL.
ZORAM MR. CLARK.
ARISTÆUS MR. ROGERS.
GÉLANOR MR. BRAID.
QUEEN ALTEMIRE MRS. CHIPPENDALE.
PRINCESS ZEOLIDE MISS MADGE ROBERTSON.
MIRZA MISS CAROLINE HILL.
PALMIS MISS FANNY WRIGHT.
AZÈMA MISS FANNY GWYNNE.

ACT I.
_GARDENS OF KING PHANOR’S COUNTRY HOUSE._
MORNING.

ACT II.
_INTERIOR OF THE PALACE OF TRUTH._
NOON.

ACT III.
_THE AVENUE OF PALMS._
NIGHT.

[_The action of the piece takes place within the space of
twenty-four hours._]

THE PALACE OF TRUTH.