Chapter XXI: Act II

SCENE.--_Market-place in the Village. Rustic houses. In centre a
market cross._

_Enter _Peasants_ dancing, coupled two and two. An old _Man_ with a
young _Girl_. Then an old _Woman_ with a young _Man_. Then other
ill-assorted couples._

OPENING CHORUS.

Happy are we in our loving frivolity,
Happy and jolly as people of quality;
Love is the source of all joy to humanity,
Money, position, and rank are a vanity;
Year after year we’ve been waiting and tarrying,
Without ever dreaming of loving and marrying.
Though we’ve been hitherto deaf, dumb, and blind to it,
It’s pleasant enough when you’ve made up your mind to it.

_Enter CONSTANCE, leading NOTARY._

ARIA.--CONSTANCE.

Dear friends, take pity on my lot,
My cup is not of nectar!
I long have loved--as who would not?--
Our kind and reverend rector.
Long years ago my love began
So sweetly--yet so sadly--
But when I saw this plain old man,
Away my old affection ran--
I found I loved him madly.
Oh!
(_To NOTARY._) You very, very plain old man,
I love, I love you madly!

_Chorus._ You very, very plain old man,
She loves, she loves you madly!

_Notary._ I am a very deaf old man,
And hear you very badly.

_Con._ I know not why I love him so;
It is enchantment, surely!
He’s dry and snuffy, deaf and slow,
Ill-tempered, weak, and poorly!
He’s ugly, and absurdly dressed,
And sixty-seven nearly,
He’s everything that I detest,
But if the truth must be confessed,
I love him very dearly!
Oh!
(_To NOTARY.)_ You’re everything that I detest,
But still I love you dearly!

_Chorus._ You’re everything that girls detest,
But still she loves you dearly!

_Notary._ I caught that line, but for the rest
I did not hear it clearly!

[_During this verse ALINE and ALEXIS have entered at back, unobserved._

ALINE AND ALEXIS.

_Alex._ Oh, joy! oh, joy!
The charm works well,
And all are now united.

_Ali._ The blind young boy
Obeys the spell,
Their troth they all have plighted!

ENSEMBLE.

ALINE AND ALEXIS. CONSTANCE. NOTARY.

Oh, joy! oh, joy! Oh, bitter joy! Oh, joy! oh, joy!
The charm works well, No words can tell No words can tell
And all are now How my poor heart My state of mind
united. is blighted! delighted.
The blind young boy They’ll soon employ They’ll soon employ
Obeys the spell, A marriage bell, A marriage bell,
Their troth they To say that To say that
all have plighted. we’re united. we’re united.
True happiness I do confess True happiness
Reigns everywhere, A sorrow rare Reigns everywhere,
And dwells with My humbled And dwells with
both the sexes, spirit vexes, both the sexes,
And all will bless And none will bless And all will bless
The thoughtful care Example rare Example rare
Of their beloved Of their beloved Of their beloved
Alexis! Alexis! Alexis!

[_All, except ALEXIS and ALINE, dance off to symphony._

_Ali._ How joyful they all seem in their new-found happiness! The whole village has paired off in the happiest manner. And yet not a match has been made that the hollow world would not consider ill-advised!

_Alex._ But we are wiser--far wiser--than the world. Observe the good that will become of these ill-assorted unions. The miserly wife will check the reckless expenditure of her too frivolous consort, the wealthy husband will shower innumerable bonnets on his penniless bride, and the young and lively spouse will cheer the declining days of her aged partner with comic songs unceasing!

_Ali._ What a delightful prospect for him!

_Alex._ But one thing remains to be done, that my happiness may be complete. We must drink the philtre ourselves, that I may be assured of your love for ever and ever.

_Ali._ Oh, Alexis, do you doubt me? Is it necessary that such love as ours should be secured by artificial means? Oh no, no, no!

_Alex._ My dear Aline, time works terrible changes, and I want to place our love beyond the chance of change.

_Ali._ Alexis, it is already far beyond that chance. Have faith in me, for my love can never, never change!

_Alex._ Then you absolutely refuse?

_Ali._ I do. If you cannot trust me, you have no right to love me--no right to be loved _by_ me.

_Alex._ Enough, Aline; I shall know how to interpret this refusal.

BALLAD.--ALEXIS.

Thou hast the power thy vaunted love
To sanctify, all doubt above,
Despite the gathering shade:
To make that love of thine so sure
That, come what may, it must endure
Till time itself shall fade.
Thy love is but a flower
That fades within the hour!
If such thy love, oh, shame!
Call it by other name--
It is not love!

Thine is the power, and thine alone,
To place me on so proud a throne
That kings might envy me!
A priceless throne of love untold,
More rare than orient pearl and gold.
But no! Thou wouldst be free!
Such love is like the ray
That dies within the day!
If such thy love, oh, shame!
Call it by other name--
It is not love!

_Enter DR. DALY._

_Dr. D._ (_musing_). It is singular--it is very singular. It has overthrown all my calculations. It is distinctly opposed to the doctrine of averages. I cannot understand it.

_Ali._ Dear Dr. Daly, what has puzzled you?

_Dr. D._ My dear, this village has not hitherto been addicted to marrying and giving in marriage. Hitherto the youths of this village have not been enterprising, and the maidens have been distinctly coy. Judge then of my surprise when I tell you that the whole village came to me in a body just now, and implored me to join them in matrimony with as little delay as possible. Even your excellent father has hinted to me that before very long it is not unlikely that he, also, may change his condition.

_Ali._ Oh, Alexis--do you hear that? Are you not delighted?

_Alex._ Yes. I confess that a union between your mother and my father would be a happy circumstance indeed. (_Crossing to DR. DALY._) My dear sir, the news that you bring us is very gratifying.

_Dr. D._ Yes--still, in my eyes, it has its melancholy side. This universal marrying recalls the happy days--now, alas! gone for ever--when I myself might have--but tush! I am puling. I am too old to marry--and yet, within the last half-hour, I have greatly yearned for companionship. I never remarked it before, but the young maidens of this village are very comely. So likewise are the middle-aged. Also the elderly. All are comely--and (_with a deep sigh_) all are engaged!

_Ali._ Here comes your father.

_Enter SIR MARMADUKE with MRS. PARTLET, arm-in-arm._

_Ali. and Alex._ (_aside_). Mrs. Partlet!

_Sir M._ Dr. Daly, give me joy. Alexis, my dear boy, you will, I am sure, be pleased to hear that my declining days are not unlikely to be solaced by the companionship of this good, virtuous, and amiable woman.

_Alex._ (_rather taken aback_). My dear father, this is not altogether what I expected. I am certainly taken somewhat by surprise. Still it can hardly be necessary to assure you that any wife of yours is a mother of mine. (_Aside to ALINE._) It is not quite what I could have wished.

_Mrs. P._ (_crossing to ALEXIS_). Oh, sir, I entreat your forgiveness. I am aware that socially I am not everything that could be desired, nor am I blessed with an abundance of worldly goods, but I can at least confer on your estimable father the great and priceless dowry of a true, tender, and loving heart.

_Alex._ (_coldly_). I do not question it. After all, a faithful love is the true source of every earthly joy.

_Sir M._ I knew that my boy would not blame his poor father for acting on the impulse of a heart that has never yet misled him. Zorah is not, perhaps, what the world call beautiful----

_Dr. D._ Still she is comely--distinctly comely! (_Sighs._)

_Ali._ Zorah is very good, and very clean and honest, and quite sober in her habits; and that is worth far more than beauty, dear Sir Marmaduke.

_Dr. D._ Yes; beauty will fade and perish, but personal cleanliness is practically undying, for it can be renewed whenever it discovers symptoms of decay. My dear Sir Marmaduke, I heartily congratulate you. (_Sighs._)

QUINTETTE.

ALEXIS, ALINE, SIR MARMADUKE, ZORAH, AND DR. DALY.

_Alex._ I rejoice that it’s decided.
Happy now will be his life,
For my father is provided
With a true and tender wife!

_Ensemble._ She will tend him, nurse him, mend him,
Air his linen, dry his tears.
Bless the thoughtful fates that send him
Such a wife to soothe his years!

_Ali._ No young giddy thoughtless maiden,
Full of graces, airs, and jeers--
But a sober widow, laden
With the weight of fifty years!

_Sir M._ No high-born exacting beauty,
Blazing like a jewelled sun--
But a wife who’ll do her duty,
As that duty should be done!

_Mrs. P._ I’m no saucy minx and giddy--
Hussies such as they abound--
But a clean and tidy widdy,
Well be-known for miles around!

_Dr. D._ All the village now have mated,
All are happy as can be--
I to live alone am fated:
No one’s left to marry me!

_Ensemble._ She will tend him, etc.

[_Exeunt SIR MARMADUKE and MRS. PARTLET, ALINE and ALEXIS. DR.
DALY looks after them sentimentally, then exit with a sigh. MR.
WELLS, who has overheard part of this Quintette, and who has
remained concealed behind the market cross, comes down as they
go off._

RECITATIVE.--MR. WELLS.

Oh, I have wrought much evil with my spells!
An ill I can’t undo!
This is too bad of you, J. W. Wells--
What wrong have they done you?
And see--another love-lorn lady comes--
Alas, poor stricken dame!
A gentle pensiveness her life benumbs--
And mine, alone, the blame!

(_Sits at foot of market cross._)

_LADY SANGAZURE enters. She is very melancholy._

_Lady S._ Alas! ah me! and well-a-day!
I sigh for love, and well I may,
For I am very old and gray.
But stay!

(_Sees MR. WELLS, and becomes fascinated by him._)

RECITATIVE.

_Lady S._ What is this fairy form I see before me?

_Mr. W._ Oh, horrible!--she’s going to adore me!
This last catastrophe is overpowering!

_Lady S._ Why do you glare at me with visage lowering?
For pity’s sake, recoil not thus from me!

_Mr. W._ My lady, leave me--this may never be!

DUET.--LADY SANGAZURE AND MR. WELLS.

_Mr. W._ Hate me! I drop my H’s--have through life!

_Lady S._ Love me! I’ll drop them too!

_Mr. W._ Hate me! I always eat peas with a knife!

_Lady S._ Love me! I’ll eat like you!

_Mr. W._ Hate me! I spend the day at Rosherville!

_Lady S._ Love me! that joy I’ll share!

_Mr. W._ Hate me! I often roll down One Tree Hill!

_Lady S._ Love me! I’ll join you there!

_Lady S._ Love me! my prejudices I will drop!

_Mr. W._ Hate me! that’s not enough!

_Lady S._ Love me! I’ll come and help you in the shop!

_Mr. W._ Hate me! the life is rough!

_Lady S._ Love me! my grammar I will all forswear!

_Mr. W._ Hate me! abjure my lot!

_Lady S._ Love me! I’ll stick sunflowers in my hair!

_Mr. W._ Hate me! they’ll suit you not!

RECITATIVE.--MR. WELLS.

At what I am going to say be not enraged--
I may not love you--for I am engaged!

_Lady S._ (_horrified_). Engaged!

_Mr. W._ Engaged!
To a maiden fair,
With bright brown hair,
And a sweet and simple smile,
Who waits for me
By the sounding sea,
On a South Pacific isle.

(_Aside._) A lie! No maiden waits me there!

_Lady S._ (_mournfully_). She has bright brown hair;

_Mr. W._ (_aside_). A lie! No maiden smiles on me!

_Lady S._ (_mournfully_). By the sounding sea!

ENSEMBLE.

LADY SANGAZURE. MR. WELLS.

Oh, agony, rage, despair! Oh, agony, rage, despair!
The maiden has bright brown Oh, where will this end--oh,
hair, where?
And mine is as white as snow! I should like very much to
know!
False man, it will be your fault It will certainly be my fault
If I go to my family vault, If she goes to her family vault,
And bury my life-long woe! To bury her life-long woe!

_Both._ The family vault--the family vault.
{your}
It will certainly be {my} fault,
{ I go } {my}
If {she goes} to {her} family vault,
{my}
To bury {her} life-long woe!

[_Exit LADY SANGAZURE, in great anguish._

RECITATIVE.--MR. WELLS.

Oh, hideous doom--to scatter desolation,
And sow the seeds of sorrow far and wide!
To foster _mésalliances_ through the nation,
And drive high-born old dames to suicide!
Shall I subject myself to reprobation
By leaving her in solitude to pine?
No! come what may, I’ll make her reparation,
So, aged lady, take me!--I am thine!
[_Exit MR. WELLS._

_Enter ALINE._

_Ali._ This was to have been the happiest day of my life--but I am very far from happy! Alexis insists that I shall taste the philtre--and when I try to persuade him that to do so would be an insult to my pure and lasting love, he tells me that I object because I do not desire that my love for him shall be eternal. Well (_sighing and producing a phial_), I can at least prove to him that in that he is unjust!

RECITATIVE.

Alexis! Doubt me not, my loved one! See,
Thine uttered will is sovereign law to me!
All fear--all thought of ill I cast away!
It is my darling’s will, and I obey! (_She drinks the philtre._)
The fearful deed is done,
My love is near!
I go to meet my own
In trembling fear!
If o’er us aught of ill
Should cast a shade.
It was my darling’s will,
And I obeyed!

[_As ALINE is going off, she meets DR. DALY, entering pensively.
He is playing on a flageolet. Under the influence of the spell
she at once becomes strangely fascinated by him, and exhibits
every symptom of being hopelessly in love with him._

SONG.--DR. DALY.

Oh, my voice is sad and low,
And with timid step I go--
For with load of love o’erladen
I enquire of every maiden,
“Will you wed me, little lady?
Will you share my cottage shady?”
Little lady answers, “No!
Thank you for your kindly proffer--
Good your heart, and full your coffer;
Yet I must decline your offer--
I’m engaged to So-and-so!”
So-and-so!
So-and-so! (_flageolet_).
She’s engaged to So-and-so!
What a rogue young hearts to pillage!
What a worker on Love’s tillage!
Every maiden in the village
Is engaged to So-and-so!
So-and-so!
So-and-so! (_flageolet_).
All engaged to So-and-so!

[_At the end of the song DR. DALY sees ALINE, and, under the
influence of the potion, falls in love with her._

ENSEMBLE.--ALINE AND DR. DALY.

Oh, joyous boon! oh, mad delight!
Oh, sun and moon! oh, day and night!
Rejoice, rejoice with me!
Proclaim our joy, ye birds above--
Ye brooklets, murmur forth our love,
In choral ecstasy:

_Ali._ Oh, joyous boon!

_Dr. D._ Oh, mad delight!

_Ali._ Oh, sun and moon!

_Dr. D._ Oh, day and night!

_Both._ Ye birds and brooks and fruitful trees,
With choral joy delight the breeze--
Rejoice, rejoice with me!

_Enter ALEXIS._

RECITATIVE.

_Alex._ (_with rapture_).
Aline, my only love, my happiness!
The philtre--you have tasted it?

_Ali._ (_with confusion_). Yes! Yes!

_Alex._ Oh, joy, mine, mine for ever and for aye. [_Embraces her._

_Ali._ Alexis, don’t do that--you must not!
[_Dr. Daly interposes between them._

_Alex._ (_amazed_.) Why?

DUET.--ALINE AND DR. DALY.

_Ali._ Alas! that lovers thus should meet:
Oh, pity, pity me!
Oh, charge me not with cold deceit;
Oh, pity, pity me!
You bade me drink--with trembling awe
I drank, and, by the potion’s law,
I loved the very first I saw!
Oh, pity, pity me!

_Dr. D._ My dear young friend, consolèd be--
We pity, pity you.
In this I’m not an agent free--
We pity, pity you.
Some most extraordinary spell
O’er us has cast its magic fell--
The consequence I need not tell.
We pity, pity you.

ENSEMBLE.

Some most extraordinary spell
{us}
O’er {them} has cast its magic fell--
{we}
The consequence {they} need not tell.
{We} {thee!
{They} pity, pity {me!

_Alex._ (_furiously_). False one, begone--I spurn thee!
To thy new lover turn thee!
Thy perfidy all men shall know.

_Ali._ (_wildly_). I could not help it!

_Alex._ (_calling off_). Come one, come all!

_Dr. D._ We could not help it!

_Alex._ (_calling off_). Obey my call!

_Ali._ (_wildly_). I could not help it!

_Alex._ (_calling off_). Come, hither, run!

_Dr. D._ We could not help it!

_Alex._ (_calling off_). Come, every one!

_Enter all the characters except LADY SANGAZURE and MR. WELLS._

CHORUS.

Oh, what is the matter, and what is the clatter?
He’s glowering at her, and threatens a blow!
Oh, why does he batter the girl he did flatter?
And why does the latter recoil from him so?

RECITATIVE.--ALEXIS.

Prepare for sad surprises--
My love Aline despises!
No thought of sorrow shames her--
Another lover claims her!
Be his, false girl, for better or for worse--
But, ere you leave me, may a lover’s curse----

_Dr. D._ (_coming forward_). Hold! Be just. This poor child drank the philtre at your instance. She hurried off to meet you--but, most unhappily, she met me instead. As you had administered the potion to both of us, the result was inevitable. But fear nothing from me--I will be no man’s rival. I shall quit the country at once--and bury my sorrow in the congenial gloom of a colonial bishopric.

_Alex._ My excellent old friend! (_Taking his hand--then turning to MR. WELLS, who has entered with LADY SANGAZURE._) Oh, Mr. Wells, what, what is to be done?

_Mr. W._ I do not know--and yet--there is one means by which this spell may be removed.

_Alex._ Name it--oh, name it!

_Mr. W._ Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the Co.

_Alex._ True. Well, I am ready!

_Ali._ No, no--Alexis--it must not be! Mr. Wells, if he must die that all may be restored to their old loves, what is to become of me? I should be left out in the cold, with no love to be restored to!

_Mr. W._ True--I did not think of that. (_To the others._) My friends, I appeal to you, and I will leave the decision in your hands.

FINALE.

_Mr. W._ Or I or he
Must die!
Which shall it be?
Reply!

_Sir M._ Die thou!
Thou art the cause of all offending!

_Lady S._ Die thou!
Yield thou to this decree unbending!

_All._ Die thou!

_Mr. W._ So be it! I submit! My fate is sealed.
To popular opinion thus I yield! (_Falls._)
Be happy all--leave me to my despair--
I go--it matters not with whom--or where! (_Gong._)

[_All quit their present partners, and rejoin their old lovers.
SIR MARMADUKE leaves MRS. PARTLET, and goes to LADY SANGAZURE.
ALINE leaves DR. DALY, and goes to ALEXIS. DR. DALY leaves
ALINE, and goes to CONSTANCE. NOTARY leaves CONSTANCE, and goes
to MRS. PARTLET. All the _Chorus_ make a corresponding change._

ALL.

_Gentlemen._ Oh, my adored one!

_Ladies._ Unmingled joy!

_Gentlemen._ Ecstatic rapture!

_Ladies._ Beloved boy! (_They embrace._)

_Sir M._ Come to my mansion, all of you! At least
We’ll crown our rapture with another feast.

ENSEMBLE.

SIR MARMADUKE, LADY SANGAZURE, ALEXIS, AND ALINE.

Now to the banquet we press;
Now for the eggs and the ham,
Now for the mustard and cress,
Now for the strawberry jam!

_Chorus._ Now to the banquet, etc.

DR. DALY, CONSTANCE, NOTARY, AND MRS. PARTLET.

Now for the tea of our host,
Now for the rollicking bun,
Now for the muffin and toast,
Now for the gay Sally Lunn!

_Chorus._ Now for the tea, etc.

(_General Dance._)

H.M.S. PINAFORE;

OR,

THE LASS THAT LOVED A SAILOR.

_AN ENTIRELY ORIGINAL NAUTICAL COMIC OPERA_, IN TWO ACTS.

_First produced at the Opera Comique Theatre, by MR. R. D’OYLY CARTE, on Saturday, May 25, 1878._

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.

THE RT. HON. SIR JOSEPH PORTER, K.C.B., _First Lord of the Admiralty_.
CAPTAIN CORCORAN, _Commanding H.M.S. Pinafore_.
RALPH RACKSTRAW, _Able Seaman_.
DICK DEADEYE, _Able Seaman_.
BILL BOBSTAY, _Boatswain’s Mate_.
BOB BECKET, _Carpenter’s Mate_.
TOM TUCKER, _Midshipmite_.
SERGEANT OF MARINES.
JOSEPHINE, _the Captain’s Daughter_.
HEBE, _Sir Joseph’s First Cousin_.
LITTLE BUTTERCUP, _a Portsmouth Bumboat Woman_.

_First Lord’s Sisters_, _his Cousins_, _his Aunts_, _Sailors_, _Marines_, _etc._

SCENE: QUARTER-DECK OF H.M.S. PINAFORE, OFF PORTSMOUTH.

ACT I.--NOON. ACT II.--NIGHT.

H.M.S. PINAFORE;

OR,

THE LASS THAT LOVED A SAILOR.