Chapter II: Part 2

It is agreed that wee have not ſo much from them as any _part_ of either our _mortall ſoules_ of _ſenſe_, or _growth_, and we deny _ſoules_ to others equal to them in all but in _ſpeech_ for which they are beholding to their _bodily inſtruments_: For perchance an _Oxes_ heart, or a _Goates_, or a _Foxes_, or a _Serpents_ would ſpeake juſt ſo, if it were in the _breaſt_, and could move that _tongue_ and _jawes_. Have they ſo many _advantages_ and _meanes_ to hurt us (for, ever their _loving_ deſtroyed us) that we dare not _diſpleaſe_ them, but give them what they will? And ſo when ſome call them _Angels_, ſome _Goddeſſes_, and the _Palpulian Heretikes_ made them _Biſhops_, wee deſcend ſo much with the ſtreame, to allow them _ſoules_? Or doe we ſomewhat (in this dignifying of them) flatter _Princes_ and _great Perſonages_ that are ſo much governed by them? Or do we in that _eaſineſſe_ and _prodigality_, wherein we daily loſe our owne _ſoules_ to we care not whom, ſo labour to perſwade our ſelves, that ſith a _woman_ hath a _ſoule_, a _ſoule_ is no great matter? Or doe wee lend them _ſoules_ but for _uſe_, ſince they for our ſakes, give their _ſoules_ againe, and their _bodies_ to boote? Or perchance becauſe the _Deuill_ (who is all _ſoule_) doth moſt _miſchiefe_, and for _convenience_ and _proportion_, becauſe they would come neerer him, wee allow them ſome ſoules; and ſo as the _Romanes_ naturalized ſome _Provinces_ in revenge, and made them _Romans_, onely for the _burthen_ of the _Common-wealth_; ſo we have given _women_ ſoules onely to make them capable of _damnation_?

[Decoration]

7.

_Why are the Faireſt, Falſeſt?_

I meane not of falſe _Alchimy Beauty_, for then the _queſtion_ ſhould be inverted, _Why are the Falſeſt, Faireſt_? It is not onely becauſe they are _much ſolicited_ and _ſought_ for, ſo is _gold_, yet it is not ſo _common_; and this _ſuite_ to them, ſhould teach them their _value_, and make them more _reſerved_. Nor is it becauſe the _delicateſt blood_ hath the _beſt ſpirits_, for what is that to the fleſh? perchance ſuch _conſtitutions_ have the _beſt wits_, and there is no _proportionable ſubject_, for _Womens wit_, but deceipt? doth the _minde_ ſo follow the _temperature_ of the _body_, that becauſe thoſe _complexions_ are apteſt to change, the _mind_ is therefore ſo? Or as _Bells_ of the _pureſt metall_ retaine their _tinkling_ and _ſound_ largeſt; ſo the _memory_ of the laſt _pleaſure_ laſts longer in theſe, and diſpoſeth them to the next. But ſure it is not in the _complexion_, for thoſe that doe but thinke themſelves _faire_, are preſently inclined to this _multiplicity_ of _loves_, which being but _faire in conceipt_ are _falſe in deed_: and ſo perchance when they are _borne_ to this _beauty_, or have _made_ it, or have dream’d it, they eaſily believe all _addreſſes_ and _applications_ of every _man_, out of a _ſenſe_ of their own _worthineſſ_ to be directed to them, which others _leſſ worthy_ in their own thoughts apprehend not, or diſcredit. But I think the _true reaſon_ is, that being like _gold_ in many properties (as that _all ſnatch_ at them, but the _worſt poſſeſſ_ them, that they care not how deep we dig for them, and that by the Law of nature, _Occupandi conceditur_) they would be like alſo in this, that as Gold to make it ſelf of uſe admits allay, ſo they, that they may be tractable, mutable, and currant, have to allay _Falſhood_.

[Decoration]

8.

_Why Venus-ſtar only doth caſt a ſhadow?_

Is it becauſe it is nearer the earth? But they whoſe profeſſion it is to ſee that nothing be done in heaven without their conſent (as _Re_ — ſays in himſelf of _Aſtrologers_) have bid _Mercury_ to be nearer. Is it becauſe the works of _Venus_ want ſhadowing, covering and dignifying? But thoſe of _Mercury_ need it more; For Eloquence, his occupation, is all ſhadow and colours; let our life be a ſea, and then our reaſons and even paſſions are wide enough to carry us whether we ſhould go, but Eloquence is a ſtorm and tempeſt that miſcarries: and who doubts that Eloquence which muſt perſwade people to take a yoke of ſoveraignty (and then beg and make Laws to tye them faſter, and then give money to the invention, repair and ſtrengthen it) needs more ſhadows and coloring, then to perſwade any man or woman to that which is natural. And _Venus_ markets are ſo natural, that when we ſolicite the beſt way (which is by _marriage_) our perſwaſions work not ſo much to draw a woman to us, as againſt her nature to draw her from all other beſides. And ſo when we go againſt nature, and from _Venus-work_ (for marriage is chaſtitie) we need ſhadowes and colours, but not elſe. In _Seneca’s_ time, it was a courſe, an un-_Roman_ and a contemptible thing even in a _Matron_, not to have had a _Love_ beſide her huſband, which though the Law required not at their hands, yet they did it _zealouſly_ out of the Council of Cuſtom and faſhion, which was _venery_ of _ſupererrogation_:

_Et te ſpectator pluſquam delectat Adulter_,

saith _Martial_: And _Horace_, becauſe many lights would not ſhew him enough, created many _Images_ of the ſame Object by wainſcoting his chamber with looking-glaſſes: ſo that _Venus_ flies not light, as much as _Mercury_, who creeping into our underſtanding, our darkneſs would be defeated, if he were perceived. Then either this _ſhadow_ confeſſeth that ſame dark Melancholy Repentance which accompanies; or that ſo violent fires, needs ſome ſhadowy refreſhing and intermiſſion: Or elſe light ſignifying both day and youth, and ſhadow both night and age, ſhe pronounceth by this that ſhe profeſſeth both all perſons and times.

[Decoration]

9.

_Why is Venus-ſtar multinominous, called both =Heſperus= and =Veſper=._

The Moon hath as many names, but not as ſhe is a ſtar, but as ſhe hath divers governments; but _Venus_ is _multinominous_ to give example to her _proſtitute diſciples_, who ſo often, either to renew or refreſh themſelves towards lovers, or to diſguiſe themſelves from _Magiſtrates_, are to take new names. It may be ſhe takes new names after her many functions, for as ſhe is ſupream Monarch of all Suns at large (which is _luſt_) ſo is ſhe joyned in Commiſſion with all _Mythologicks_, with _Juno_, _Diana_, and all others for marriage. It may be becauſe of the divers names to her ſelf, for her affections have more names than any vice: _ſcilicet_, _Pollution_, _Fornication_, _Adultery_, _Lay-Inceſt_, _Church-Inceſt_, _Rape_, _Sodomy_, _Maſtupration_, _Maſturbation_, and a thouſand others. Perchance her divers names ſhewed her appliableneſs to divers men, for _Neptune_ diſtilled and wet her in love, the Sun warms and melts her, _Mercury_ perſwaded and ſwore her, _Jupiters_ authority ſecured, and _Vulcan_ hammer’d her. As _Heſperus_ ſhe preſents you with her _bonum utile_, becauſe it is wholeſomeſt in the morning: As _Veſper_ with her _bonum delectabile_, becauſe it is pleaſanteſt in the evening. And becauſe induſtrious men riſe and endure with the Sun in their civil buſineſſes, this Star caſts them up a little before, and remembers them again a little after for her buſineſs; for certainly,

_Venit Heſperus, ite capellae_:

was ſpoken to Lovers in the perſons of _Goats_.

[Decoration]

10.

_Why are New Officers leaſt oppreſſing?_

Muſt the old Proverbe, that _Old dogs bite ſorest_, be true in all kinde of _dogs_? Me thinkes the freſh _memory_ they have of the _mony_ they parted with for the _place_, ſhould haſten them for the _re-imburſing_: And perchance they doe but ſeeme eaſier to their _ſuiters_; who (as all other _Patients_) doe account all change of paine, eaſie. But if it bee ſo, it is either becauſe the ſodain _ſenſe_ & _contentment_ of the _honor_ of the _place_, retards and remits the rage of their _profits_, and ſo having ſtayed their _ſtomackes_, they can forbeare the ſecond _courſe_ a while: Or having overcome the _ſteepest_ part of the _hill_, and clambered above _Competitions_ and _Oppoſitions_ they dare loyter, and take breath: Perchance being come from _places_, where they taſted _no gaine_, a _little_ ſeems _much_ to them at firſt, for it is _long before a Christian conſcience overtakes, or straies into an Officers heart_. It may be that out of the _generall diſeaſe_ of all men not to love the _memory_ of a _predeceſſor_, they ſeeke to diſgrace them by ſuch _eaſineſſe_, and make good _firſt impreſſions_, that ſo having drawen much _water_ to their _Mill_, they may afterward _grind_ at eaſe: For if from the rules of good _Horſe-manſhip_, they thought it wholeſome to _jet_ out in a moderate _pace_, they ſhould alſo take up towards their _journeys_ end, not mend their pace continually, and _gallop_ to their _Innes-doore_, the _grave_; except perchance their _conſcience_ at that time ſo touch them, that they thinke it an _injury_ and _damage_ both to him that muſt _ſell_, and to him that muſt _buy_ the _Office_ after their _death_, and a kind of _dilapidation_ if they by continuing _honeſt_ ſhould diſcredit the _place_, and bring it to a _lower-rent_, or _under-value_.

[Decoration]

11.

_Why does the Poxe ſo much affect to undermine the Noſe?_

_Paracelſus_ perchance ſaith true, That every Diſeaſe hath his exaltation in ſome part certaine. But why this in the Noſe? Is there ſo much mercy in this diſeaſe, that it provides that one ſhould not ſmell his own ſtinck? Or hath it but the common fortune, that being begot and bred in obſcureſt and ſecreteſt places, becauſe therefore his ſerpentine crawling and inſinuation ſhould not be ſuſpected, nor ſeen, he comes ſooneſt into great place, and is more able to deſtroy the worthieſt member, then a diſeaſe better born? Perchance as mice defeat Elephants by knawing their _Proboſcis_, which is their Noſe, this wretched Indian Vermine practiſeth to doe the ſame upon us. Or as the ancient furious Cuſtome and Connivency of ſome Lawes, that one might cut off their Noſe whome he deprehended in Adulterie, was but a Tipe of this; And that now more charitable lawes having taken away all Revenge from particular hands, this common Magiſtrate and Executioner is come to do the ſame office inviſibly? Or by withdrawing this conſpicuous part, the Noſe, it warnes us from all adventuring upon that Coaſt; for it is as good a mark to take in a flag as to hang one out. Poſſibly heate, which is more potent and active then cold, thought her ſelfe injured, and the Harmony of the world out of tune, when cold was able to ſhew the high-way to Noses in _Muscovia_, except ſhe found the meanes to doe the ſame in other Countries. Or becauſe by the conſent of all, there is an Analogy, Proportion, and affection between the Noſe and that part where this diſeaſe is firſt contracted, and therefore _Heliogabalus_ choſe not his Minions in the Bath but by the Noſe: And _Albertus_ had a knaviſh meaning when he preferd great Noſes; And the licentious Poet was _Naſo Poeta_. I think this reaſon is neareſt truth, That the Noſe is moſt compaſſionate with this part: Except this be nearer, that it is reaſonable that this Diſeaſe in particular ſhould affect the moſt eminent and perſpicuous part, which in general doth affect to take hold of the moſt eminent and conſpicuous men.

[Decoration]

12.

_Why die none for Love now?_

Becauſe women are become eaſyer. Or becauſe theſe later times have provided mankind of more new means for the deſtroying of themſelves and one another, _Pox_, _Gunpowder_, _Young marriages_, and _Controverſies_ in _Religion_. Or is there in true Hiſtory no Precedent or Example of it? Or perchance ſome die ſo, but are not therefore worthy the remembring or ſpeaking of?

[Decoration]

13.

_Why do Women delight much in Feathers?_

They think that Feathers imitate wings, and ſo ſhew their reſtleſſneſs and inſtability. As they are in matter, ſo they would be in name, like _Embroiderers_, _Painters_, and ſuch _Artificers_ of curious _vanities_, which the vulgar call _Pluminaries_. Or elſe they have feathers for the ſame reaſon, which moves them to love the unworthieſt men, which is, that they may be thereby excuſable in their inconſtancy and often changing.

[Decoration]

14.

_Why doth not Gold ſoyl the fingers?_

Doth it direct all the venom to the heart? Or is it becauſe bribing ſhould not be diſcovered? Or becauſe that ſhould pay purely, for which pure things are given, as _Love_, _Honor_, _Justice_ and Heaven? Or doth it ſeldom come into innocent hands but into ſuch as for former foulneſs you cannot diſcern this?

[Decoration]

15.

_Why do great men of all dependants, chuſe to preſerve their little Pimps?_

It is not becauſe they are got neareſt their ſecrets, for they whom they bring come nearer. Nor commonly becauſe they and their bawds have lain in one belly, for then they ſhould love their brothers aſwel. Nor becauſe they are witneſſes of their weakneſs, for they are weak ones. Either it is becauſe they have a double hold and obligation upon their maſters for providing them ſurgery and remedy after, aſwel as pleaſure before, and bringing them always ſuch ſtuff, as they ſhal always need their ſervice? Or becauſe they may be received and entertained every where, and Lords fling off none but they ſuch as they may deſtroy by it. Or perchance we deceive our ſelves, and every Lord having many, and, of neceſſity, ſome riſing, we mark only theſe.

[Decoration]

16.

_Why are Courtiers ſooner Atheiſts then men of other conditions?_

Is it becauſe as _Phyſitians_ contemplating Nature, and finding many abſtruſe things ſubject to the ſearch of Reaſon, thinks therefore that all is ſo; so they (ſeeing mens deſtinies, mad at Court, neck out and in joynt there, _War_, _Peace_, _Life_ and _Death_ derived from thence) climb no higher? Or doth a familiarity with greatneſs, and daily converſation and acquaintance with it breed a contempt of all greatneſs? Or becauſe that they ſee that opinion or need of one another, and fear makes the degrees of ſervants, Lords and Kings, do they think that God likewiſe for ſuch Reaſon hath been mans Creator? Perchance it is becauſe they ſee Vice proſper beſt there, and, burthened with ſinne, doe they not, for their eaſe, endeavour to put off the feare and Knowledge of God, as facinorous men deny Magiſtracy? Or are the moſt Atheiſts in that place, becauſe it is the foole that ſaid in his heart, There is no God.

[Decoration]

17.

_Why are ſtateſmen moſt incredulous?_

Are they all wiſe enough to follow their excellent pattern _Tiberius_, who brought the ſenate to be diligent and induſtrious to believe him, were it never so oppoſite or diametricall, that it deſtroyed their very ends to be believed, as _Aſinius Gallus_ had almoſt deceived this man by believing him, and the Major and Aldermen of _London_ in _Richard_ the Third? Or are buſineſſes (about which theſe men are converſant) ſo conjecturall, ſo ſubject to unſuſpected interventions that they are therefore forc’d to ſpeak oraculouſly, whiſperingly, generally, and therefore eſcapingly, in the language of Almanack-makers for weather? Or are thoſe (as they call them) _Arcana imperii_, as by whom the Prince provokes his luſt, and by whom he vents it, of what Cloath his ſocks are, and ſuch, ſo deep, and ſo irreveald, as any error in them is inexcuſable? If theſe were the reaſons, they would not only ſerve for ſtate-buſineſs. But why will they not tell true, what a Clock it is, and what weather, but abſtain from truth of it, if it conduce not to their ends, as Witches will not name Jeſus, though it be in a curſe? eithere they know little out of their own Elements, or a Cuſtom in one matter begets an habite in all. Or the lower ſort imitate Lords, they their Princes, theſe their Prince. Or elſe they believe one another, and ſo never hear truth. Or they abſtain from the little Channel of truth, leaſt, at laſt, they ſhould _finde the fountain it ſelf, God_.

[Decoration]

18.

_Why was Sir Walter Raleigh thought the fitteſt Man, to write the Hiſtorie of theſe Times?_

Was it becauſe that being told at his Arraignement, that a Witneſs accuſing himſelf had the ſtrength of two; he may ſeem by Writing the ills of his own Time to be believed? Or is it, becauſe he might reenjoy thoſe Times by the Meditation of them? Or becauſe if he ſhould undertake higher Times, he doth not think, that he can come nearer to the Beginning of the World? Or becauſe like a Bird in a Cage, he takes his Tunes from every paſſenger, that laſt whiſtled? Or becauſe he thinks not that the beſt Echo which repeats moſt of the Sentence, but that which repeats Leſs more plainly?

[Decoration]

CHARACTERS

1.

_The Character of a =Scot= at the first ſight._

At his firſt appearing in the _Charterhouſe_, an Olive coloured Veluet ſuit owned him, which ſince became mous-colour, A pair of unſkour’d ſtockings-gules, One indifferent ſhooe, his band of _Edenburgh_, and cuffs of _London_, both ſtrangers to his ſhirt, a white feather in a hat that had bin ſod, one onely cloak for the rain, which yet he made ſerve him for all weathers: A Barren-half-acre of Face, amidſt whereof an eminent Noſe advanced himſelf, like the new Mount at _Wanſted_, overlooking his Beard, and all the wilde Country thereabouts; He was tended enough, but not well; for they were certain dumb creeping Followers, yet they made way for their Maſter, the Laird. At the firſt preſentment his Breeches were his Sumpter, and his Packets, Trunks, Cloak-bags, Portmanteau’s and all; He then grew a Knight-wright, and there is extant of his ware at 100_l._ 150_l._ and 200_l._ price. Immediately after this, he ſhifteth his ſuit, ſo did his Whore, and to a Bear-baiting they went, whither I followed them not, but _Tom. Thorney_ did.

[Decoration]

2.

_The true Character of a =Dunce=._

He hath a Soule drownd in a lump of Fleſh, or in a piece of Earth that _Prometheus_ put not half his proportion of Fire into, a thing that hath neither edge of deſire, nor feeling of affection in it, The moſt dangerous creature for confirming an _Atheiſt_, who would ſtraight ſwear, his ſoul were nothing but the bare temperature of his body: He ſleeps as he goes, and his thoughts ſeldom reach an inch further than his eyes; The moſt part of the faculties of his ſoul lye Fallow, or are like the reſtive Jades that no ſpur can drive forwards towards the purſuite of any worthy deſign; one of the moſt unprofitable of all Gods creatures, being as he is, a thing put clean beſides his right uſe, made fitt for the cart & the flail, and by miſchance Entangled amongſt books and papers, a man cannot tel poſſible what he is now good for, ſave to move up and down and fill room, or to ſerve as _Animatum Inſtrumentum_ for others to work withal in baſe Imployments, or to be a foyl for better witts, or to ſerve (as They ſay monſters do) to ſet out the variety of nature, and Ornament of the Univerſe, He is meer nothing of himſelf, neither eates, nor drinkes, nor goes, nor ſpits but by imitation, for al which, he hath ſet forms & faſhions, which he never varies, but ſticks to, with the like plodding conſtancy that a milhors follows his trace, both the muſes and the graces are his hard Miſtriſſes though he daily Invocate them, though he ſacrifize _Hecatombs_, they ſtil look a ſquint, you ſhall note him oft (beſide his dull eye and louting head, and a certain clammie benum’d pace) by a fair diſplai’d beard, a Nightcap and a gown, whoſe very wrincles proclaim him the true genius of formality, but of al others, his diſcours and compoſitions beſt ſpeak him, both of them are much of one ſtuf & faſhion, he ſpeaks juſt what his books or laſt company ſaid unto him without varying one whit & very ſeldom underſtands himſelf, you may know by his diſcourſe where he was laſt, for what he read or heard yeſterday he now diſchargeth his memory or notebook of, not his underſtanding, for it never came there; what he hath he flings abroad at al adventurs without accomodating it to time, place, perſons or occaſions, he commonly loſeth himſelf in his tale, and flutters up and down windles without recovery, and whatſoever next preſents it ſelf, his heavie conceit ſeizeth upon and goeth along with, however _Heterogeneal_ to his matter in hand, his jeſts are either old flead proverbs, or lean-ſtarv’d-hackny-_Apophthegm’s_, or poor verball quips outworn by Servingmen, Tapſters and Milkmaids, even laid aſide by Balladers, He aſſents to all men that bring any ſhadow of reaſon, and you may make him when he ſpeaks moſt Dogmatically, even with one breath, to averr pure contradictions, His Compoſitions differ only _terminorum poſitione_ from Dreams, Nothing but rude heaps of Immaterial-inchoherent droſſie-rubbiſh-ſtuffe, promiſcuouſly thruſt up together, enough to Infuſe dullneſs and Barrenneſs of Conceit into him that is ſo Prodigall of his eares as to give the hearing, enough to make a mans memory Ake with ſuffering ſuch dirtie ſtuffe caſt into it, as unwellcome to any true conceit, as Sluttiſh Morſells or Wallowiſh Potions to a Nice-Stomack which whiles he empties himſelfe of, it ſticks in his Teeth nor can he be Delivered without Sweate and Sighes, and Humms, and Coughs enough to ſhake his Grandams teeth out of her head; Heel ſpitt, and ſcratch, and yawn, and ſtamp, and turn like ſick men from one elbow to another, and Deſerve as much pitty during this torture as men in Fits of Tertian Feavors or ſelfe laſhing Penitentiaries; in a word, Rip him quite aſunder, and examin every ſhred of him, you ſhall finde him to be juſt nothing, but the ſubject of Nothing, the object of contempt, yet ſuch as he is you muſt take him, for there is no hope he ſhould ever become better.

[Decoration]

21.

_An Eſſay of Valour._

I am of opinion that nothing is ſo potent either to procure or merit Love, as Valour, and I am glad I am ſo, for thereby I ſhall do my ſelf much eaſe, becauſe Valour never needs much wit to maintain it: To ſpeak of it in it ſelf, It is a quality which he that hath, ſhall have leaſt need of, so the beſt League between Princes is a mutual fear of each other, it teacheth a man to value his reputation as his life, and chiefly to hold the Lye unſufferable, though being alone, he holds finds no hurt it doth him, It leaves it ſelf to others cenſures, for he that brags of his own valour, diſſwades others from believing it, It feareth a word no more than an Ague, It always makes good the Owner, for though he be generally held a fool, he ſhall ſeldom hear ſo much by word of mouth, and that enlargeth him more than any ſpectacles, for it maketh a little fellow be called a tall man, it yeilds the wall to none but a woman, whoſe weakneſs is her prerogative, or a man ſeconded with a woman as an uſher, which always goes before his betters, It makes a man become the witneſs of his own words, and ſtand to whatever he hath ſaid, and thinketh it a reproach to commit his reviling unto the Law, it furniſheth youth with action, and age with diſcourſe, and both by futures, for a man muſt ever boaſt himſelf in the preſent tenſe, and to come nearer home, nothing drawes a woman like to it; for Valour towards men, is an Emblem of an ability towards women, a good quality ſignifies a better. Nothing is more behooffull for that Sex; for from it they receive protection, and we free from the danger of it: Nothing makes a ſhorter cut for obtaining, for a man of Arms is always void of Ceremony, which is the wall that ſtands between _Pyramus_ and _Thiſbe_, that is, _Man_ and _Woman_, for there is no pride in women but that which rebounds from our own baſeneſſe (as Cowards grow valiant upon thoſe that are more Cowards) ſo that only by our pale aſking we teach them to deny, and by our ſhamefac’dneſs, we put them in minde to be modeſt, whereas indeed it is cunning _Rhetorick_ to perſwade the hearers that they are that already which he would have them to be; This kinde of baſhfulneſs is far from men of Valour, and eſpecially from ſouldiers, for ſuch are ever men (without doubt) forward and confident, loſing no time leaſt they ſhould loſe opportunity, which is the beſt Factor for a Lover, and becauſe they know women are given to diſſemble, they will never believe them when they deny, _Whilome_ before this age of wit, and wearing black, were broke in upon us, there was no way known to win a Lady but by Tylting, Turnying, and riding through Forreſts, in which time theſe ſlender ſtriplings with little legs were held but of ſtrength enough to marry their widows, and even in our days there can be given no reaſon of the Inundation of Servingmen upon their Miſtreſſes, but (only) that uſually they carry their Maſters Weapons, and his Valour: To be accounted handſome, juſt, learned, or well favoured, all this carries no danger with it, but it is to be admitted to the Title of Valiant Acts, at leaſt the adventuring of his mortality, and al women take delight to hold him safe in their arms who hath ’ſcapt thither through many dangers: To ſpeak at once, Man hath a priviledge in Valour; In clothes and good faces we but imitate women, and many of that Sex will not think much (as far as an anſwer goes) to diſſemble wit too. So then theſe neat youths, theſe women in mens apparel are too near a woman to be beloved of her, They be both of a Trade, but be grim of aſpect, and ſuch a one as Glaſs dares take, and ſhe will deſire him for neatneſs and varietie; A ſkar in a mans face is the ſame that a mole in a womans; a Jewel ſet in white to make it ſeem more white, for the ſkar in a man is a mark of honour and no blemiſh, for ’tis a ſkar and a blemiſh too in a Souldier too to be with out one: Now as for al things elſe which are to procure Love, as a good face, wit, good clothes, or a good body, each of them I confeſs may work ſomewhat for want of a better, That is, if _Valour be not their Rivall_; A good face avails nothing if it be in a coward that is baſhfull, the utmoſt of it is to be kiſſ’d, which rather encreaſeth then quencheth appetite; He that ſends her gifts ſends her word alſo, that he is a man of ſmall gifts otherwiſe, for wooing by ſigns and tokens implies the Author dumb; and if _Ovid_ who writ _the Law of Love_, were alive (as he is extant) would allow it as good a diverſity, that gifts ſhould be ſent as gratuities, not as bribes; Wit getteth rather promiſe then Love, Wit is not to be ſeen, and no woman takes advice of any in her loving, but of her own eyes, and her waiting womans; Nay which is worſe, wit is not to be felt, and ſo no good fellow; Wit apply’d to a woman makes her diſſolve (or diſcloſe) her ſimpering, and diſcover her teeth with laughter, and this is ſurely a purge for love; for the beginning of love is a kind of fooliſh melancholy, as for the man that makes his Taylor his Bawd, and hopes to inveagle his Love with ſuch a coloured ſuit, ſurely the ſame deeply hazards the loſs of her favour upon every change of his clothes; So likewiſe for the other, that Courts her ſilently with a good body, let me certifie him that his clothes depend upon the comelyneſſe of the body, and ſo both upon opinion; ſhe that hath been ſeduced by Apparel, let me give her to wit, _that men always put off their clothes before they go to bed_; and let her that hath been enamour’d of her ſervants body, underſtand, _that if ſhe ſaw him in a ſkin of cloth_, that is, in a ſuit made to the pattern of his body, _ſhe would ſee ſlender cauſe to love him ever after_; there are no clothes ſit ſo well in a woman’s eye, as a ſuit of Steel, though not of the faſhion, and no man ſo ſoon ſurpriſeth a womans affections as he that is the ſubject of all whiſperings, and hath always twenty ſtories of his own deeds depending upon him; Miſtake me not, I underſtand not by valour one that never fights but when he is back’d by drink or anger, or hiſſ’d on with beholders, nor one that is deſperate, nor one that takes away a Servingmans weapons when perchance it coſt him his quarters wages, nor yet one that wears a Privy coat of defence and therein is confident, for then ſuch as made Bucklers, would be accounted the _Catalines_ of this Commonwealth—I intend one of an even Reſolution grounded upon reaſon, which is always even, having his power reſtrained by the Law of not doing wrong. But now I remember I am for Valour and therefore I muſt be a man of few words.

Transcriber’s Note

Inconsistent period spelling retained as printed. The original printing used _ß_ occasionally, but inconsistently, in place of _ſſ_: this usage has not been retained.