Chapter I: Front Matter

PARODIES

OF THE WORKS OF

ENGLISH AND AMERICAN AUTHORS,

COLLECTED AND ANNOTATED BY

WALTER HAMILTON,

_Fellow of the Royal Geographical and Royal Historical Societies; Author of “A History of National Anthems and Patriotic Songs,” “A Memoir of George Cruikshank,” “The Poets Laureate of England,” “The Æsthetic Movement in England,” etc._

――――

“We maintain that, far from converting virtue into a paradox, and degrading truth by ridicule, PARODY will only strike at what is chimerical and false; it is not a piece of buffoonery so much as a critical exposition. What do we parody but the absurdities of writers, who frequently; make their heroes act against nature, common-sense, and truth? After all, it is the public, not we, who are the authors of these PARODIES.

D’ISRAELI’S Curiosities of Literature.

――――

VOLUME III.

CONTAINING PARODIES OF

LORD BYRON. SCOTCH SONGS.

SIR WALTER SCOTT. ROBERT SOUTHEY.

CHARLES KINGSLEY. THOMAS CAMPBELL.

THE POETRY OF THE ANTI-JACOBIN.

MISS C. FANSHAWE. THOMAS MOORE.

A. C. SWINBURNE. ROBERT BURNS.

MRS. FELICIA HEMANS. OLIVER GOLDSMITH.

――――

REEVES & TURNER, 196, STRAND, LONDON, W.C.

1886.

_All these things here collected are not mine,
But divers grapes make but one kind of wine;
So I from many learned authors took
The various matters written in this book;
What’s not mine own shall not by me be fathered,
The most part I, in many years, have gathered._
JOHN TAYLOR, the Water Poet.

“_It was because Homer was the most popular poet, that he was most
susceptible of the playful honours of the Greek parodist; unless
the prototype is familiar to us, a parody is nothing._”
ISAAC D’ISRAELI.

BROWN & DAVENPORT, 40, SUN STREET, FINSBURY, LONDON, E.C.

INDEX.

――-

The authors of the original poems are arranged in alphabetical order; the titles of the original poems are printed in small capitals, followed by the Parodies, the authors of which are named, in italics, wherever possible.

――――

A Chapter on Parodies

By Isaac D’Israeli 1

――――

The Poetry of the “Anti-Jacobin.”

A List of Parodies contained in “The Anti-Jacobin” 181
La Sainte Guillotine, Song; The Progress of
Man, after Mr. R. Payne Knight; Chevy Chase;
The Loves of the Triangles, after Dr. Darwin;
Brissot’s Ghost, after Glover’s Ballad; Ode to
Jacobinism, after Gray’s Hymn to Adversity;
The Jacobin, after Southey’s Sapphics; Ode to
a Jacobin, after Suckling.

THE ROVERS ―― George Canning 181
The University of Gottingen 182
A New Gottingen Ballad, Morning Herald, 1802 182
The Constitutional Association, _William Hone_ 183
The University we’ve got in town, _R. H. Barham_ 183
The Universal Penny Postage, 1840 184
The Humorous M.P. for Nottingham, Fun, 1867 185
The Union Oxoniensis, the Shotover Papers 185
The Oxford Installation Ode, Diogenes, 1853 186
The Universal Prayer of Paddington, Punch, 1882 186
The University at Nottingham, Punch 1882 186
The Hor-Ticultural Society (Cambridge, 1830) 280

――――

Robert Burns.

BRUCE’S ADDRESS TO HIS ARMY ――
“Scots, wha hae wi’ Wallace bled.” 1793 48
“Gulls who’ve heard what Hobhouse said” 49
“Britons who have often bled!” 49
“Folks who’ve oft at Dolby’s fed!” The Fancy 49
“Whigs! who have with Michael dined!” 49
“Whigs whom Fox and Petty led,” John Bull, 1823 49
“Scots, wha hae the duties paid,” _Robert Gilfillan_ 50
“Cooks, who’d roast a sucking-pig,” Punch 50
“Bunn! wha hae wi’ Wallace sped,” The Man in the Moon 50
“Jews ―― as every one has read,” The Puppet Show, 1848 51
“Guards! who at Smolensko fled,” _W. E. Aytoun_ 51
“Britons! at your country’s call” 51
Wing-Kee-Fum’s address to the Patriot Army,
Diogenes, 1853 51
“Travellers, who’ve so oft been bled,” Diogenes 52
“Ye, whose chins have often bled,” Diogenes 52
“Serfs, wha hae wi’ Kut’soff bled!” Diogenes 52
“A’ wha hae wi’ Russell sped,” _W. Lothian_ 52
“Scots! wha are on oatmeal fed,” They are Five, 53
“Scott, wha ha’ your Jumbo fed,” Punch, 1882, 53
“Friends, by Whig retrenchment bled,” Poetry for the
Poor, 1884 53
“Men by wise example led,” Songs for Liberal
Electors, 1885 53
“Scots! although in New York bred,” Funny Folks, 1877 67
“Scots, wha won’t for Wallace bleed,”
_Shirley Brooks_, 1865 107

ADDRESS TO THE DE’IL――
Address to the G. O. M., Moonshine, 1885 106

JOHN ANDERSON, MY JO 54
“Jane Barnaby, my dear Jane,” _John Jones_, 1831 54
“George Anderson, my Geo., George,” Punch 55
“My bonny Meg, my Jo, Meg” 55
“When Nature first began, Jean” 55
“Joe Chamberlain, my Jo, John,” Punch, 1886 55
“John Alcohol, my foe, John,” Home Tidings 107
“Joe Chamberlain, my Joe, Sir,” Punch, 1885 56-69
“John Barleycorn, my foe, John,” _Charles F. Adams_ 69
“Joe Chamberlain, our Joe, lad,” Funny Folks, 1885 69
“Ted Henderson, my Jo, Ted,” Moonshine, 1886 108

FOR A’ THAT AND A’ THAT 56
Quoi! Pauvre honnête, baisser la tête, _Father Prout_ 56
“A man’s a man,” says Robert Burns 57
“Dear Freedom! sair they’ve lightlied thee” The
Wreath of Freedom. 1820 57
“Success to honest usury.” Diogenes, 1853 57
“More luck to honest poverty,” _Shirley Brooks_ 106
“Is there a lady in all the land?” Once a Week 57
“Is there a Jingo, proud and high?” Punch, 1878 58
“Is there, for princely opulence?” Fun, 1879 58
“Is there, for double U. E. G.?” Funny Folks 58
Sir Arthur Guinness and a Peerage 58
“Is there for Whig and Tory men?” _John Stuart
Blackie_, Alma Mater, 1885 59
Political Parody in Funny Folks, March 14, 1885 67
A new song to an old tune, _Sir Walter Scott_, 1814 67
To Women of the Period 67

COMING THROUGH THE RYE 59
“Tak cauler water I” 59
“Gin’ a nursey meet a bobby,” Judy, 1879 60
Parody in Funny Folks, 1879 66
“If a Proctor meet a body,” Lays of Modern
Oxford. 1874 106

DUNCAN GRAY 60
“Oor Tam has joined the Templars noo.”
Rev. R. S. Bowie 108
“Sam Sumph cam’ here for Greek” _John Stuart
Blackie_, Alma Mater, 1885 60
The Whigs of Auld Lang Syne, Punch, 1865 61
Sir M. Hicks Beach on Auld Acquaintance, Truth 61
“We twa hae dune a little Bill,” Punch, 1848 66
Paraphrase of Auld Lang Syne, Comic Offering 66
Should Gaelic speech be e’er forgot? 107

GREEN GROW THE RASHES 61
Life in Malvern. Malvern Punch, 1865 61
“Hey, for Social Science, O!” _Lord Neaves_ 61
“There’s nought but talk on every han’,” Punch 109
Holy Willie’s Prayer, Newcastle Weekly Chronicle 62
The Fishers’ Welcome, _Doubleday_. “We twa ha’ fished
the Kale sae clear” 63
To Burns, _Joseph Blacket_, 1811 64

TAM O’ SHANTER――
Origin of the Poem 64
The Political Tam o’ Shanter, Punch, 1884 65

“HERE’S A HEALTH TO THEM THAT’S AWA’ 66
“Here’s a health to the ladies at home,” The
Mirror, 1828 66
“Willie Brew’d a Peck of Maut,” Punch, 1884 66
“Thus Willie, Rab, and Allan sang” 107
“O, never touch the drunkard’s cup” 108
The Ballad of Sir Tea-Leaf, Punch, 1851 68

MY HEART’S IN THE HIGHLANDS 68
“My harts in the Highlands,” Punch, 1856 68
“O, whistle, and I will arrest you, my lad” 68
“Lilt your Johnnie”――A nonsense Parody, George
Cruikshank’s Almanac, 1846 69
Justice to Scotland――A nonsense Parody, _Shirley
Brooks_ 70
“Greet na mair, ma sonsie lassie,” a Nonsense Parody.
Judy, 1884 70
A history of the Burns Festival at the Crystal Palace,
January 25, 1859 70
Prize Poem in honour of Burns, _Isa Craig_ 70
Rival Rhymes in honour of Burns, _Samuel Lover_ 70
Gang wi’ me to Lixmaleerie 70
Poems on Burns, _William Cadenhead_, 1885 71

――――

Lord Byron.

THE FIRST KISS OF LOVE 190
The Maiden I love, P. F. T., 190
WELL! THOU ART HAPPY 190
To Mary. _Phœbe Carey’s_ Poems and Parodies, 1854 191

MAID OF ATHENS, 1810 191
Anticipation in “The Monthly Mirror,” 1799. “I
conjure thee to love me, Sophia” 191
Polka mou sas Agapo, Punch, 1844 191
Pay, oh! Pay us what you owe, Punch, 1847 192
Man of Mammon, e’er we part 192
People’s William! do not start, Truth, 1877 193
Maid of Athens! ere we start, Punch, 1878 193
Maid of Clapham! ere I part, Jon Duan 193
Made of Something! ere we part, Free Press
Flashes, 1882 193
Made of Something! (Zoedone) Punch, 1880 194
Calf’s Heart, “Maid of all work, as a part,” 194
Madame Rachel! ere we smash, Judy, 1868 194
Unkind Missis! e’er the day, Grins and Groans 194
Maid of Ganges! thou that art, The Etonian, 1884 195
Maid of all work! we must part 195
Joe, my Joseph! ere we part, St. James’s Gazette 195

I WOULD I WERE A CARELESS CHILD. 195
The old Fogey’s Lament, Funny Folks 196

NAPOLEON’S FAREWELL 196
The Bohemian’s Farewell, Worthy a Crown? 1876 196
The spell is broken, Judy 1880 196
War Song of the Radical Philhellene, The Saturday
Review, 1886 197

ENIGMA ON THE LETTER H. (Ascribed to Byron.)
“’Twas whispered in Heaven” 197
“I dwells in the Herth,” _Henry Mayhew_ 197
The Letter H. his petition, and a reply 197
The Petition of the Letter W. to Londoners, and a
reply, 198
A Riddle on the letter U 278

LORD BYRON’S ADDRESS, spoken at the opening of Drury
Lane Theatre, October, 1812 198
Cui Bono? from the Rejected Addresses, _H. and
J. Smith_ 199
The Genuine Rejected Addresses 201

THE DESTRUCTION OF SENNACHERIB.
The Assyrian came down like the wolf on the fold 201
The Destruction of the Aldermen, Punch, 1841 201
Sir Robert came down on the Corn Laws so bold, 201
The Russian came down like a thief in the night, 202
The Blizzard came down like a thousand of brick, 202
The Belgravians came down on the Queen in her hold,
Jon Duan 202
Miss Pussy jumped down, _Don Diego_ 202
The Diplomats came like a wolf on the fold, Truth 203
The Yankee came down with long Fred on his back,
Punch, 1881 203
All the papers came down (on melting the Statue of
the Duke of Wellington), Truth 203
The Tories came forth in their pride, _Alick
Sinclair_, The Weekly Dispatch, 1884 203
The Premier came down to the House as of old,
_C. Renz_, The Weekly Dispatch. 1886 203
Great Gladstone came down his new Bill to unfold,
_F. B. Doveton_, 1886 204
“Dan O’Connell came down,” The Spirit of the Age
Newspaper, 1828 209
Belasco came down like a bruiser so bold 279

TO THOMAS MOORE――
“My boat is on the Shore” 208
“My cab is at the door.” The National Omnibus 208
“My cab is at the door,” Punch, 1846 208
“My boat has run ashore,” Punch, 1875 208
A Farewell to Jenny Lind, Punch, 1848 210

CHILDE HAROLD’S PILGRIMAGE――
“Adieu, adieu! my native shore” 209
“Adieu, adieu! place once so sure,” 209
“Adoo! adoo! my fav’rite scheme,” Punch, 1846 209
There was a sound of revelry by night 209
There was a sound that ceased not (on the Railway
Panic), Our Iron Roads, _F. S. Williams_ 210
Waterloo at Astley’s Theatre, Cruikshank’s Comic
Almanack, 1846 210
The Battle of the Opera, Punch 1849 210
There was a sound of orat’ry by night 210
There was a clash of Billiard balls, _A. H. Smith_ 211
Stop; for your tread is on a Poet’s dust! (on Henry
Irving as Othello), Figaro, 1876 211
London’s Inferno, Truth, 1884 212
Childe Snobson’s Pilgrimage, Punch, 1842 212
Childe Chappie’s Pilgrimage, by _E. J. Milliken_ 212

DARKNESS――
“I had a dream, which was not all a dream” 204
“I had a hat――it was not all a hat” 204
“I had a dream” (On Smoking) The Spirit of the
Age, 1828 204

’TIS TIME THIS HEART SHOULD BE UNMOVED 205
’Tis time that I should be removed, Punch’s Pocket
Book, 1856 205
Lord Byron’s Marriage 205

FARE THEE WELL!
Yes, farewell; farewell for ever 206
And fare _Thee_ well, too――if, for ever 207
Fare thee well! Lyrics and Lays, 1867 207
Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stowe’s Article on Byron 207
The Un-true Story, dedicated to Mrs. Stowe “Know ye
the land where the Novelists _blurt_ all,”
_Walter Parke_, Punch and Judy, 1870 208
To Inez. “Nay, smile not at my garments now,”
_Phœbe Carey_ 213
“I stood in Venice, on the Bridge of Sighs” 213
Venice Unpreserved, Punch, 1851 214
Practical Venice, Punch, 1882 214
“Roll on thou drunk and dark blue peeler” 214
There is pleasure in a cask of wood, _Hugh Cayley_ 214
Arcades Ambo, _C. S. Calverley_, Fly Leaves, 1878 214
Beer, _C. S. Calverley_ 215
The Guerilla, _James Hogg_, The Poetic Mirror 215
The Last Canto of Childe Harold 215

THE GIAOUR――
“He who hath bent him o’er the dead” 215
“He that hath gazed upon this head,” The Gownsman,
1830 216
“He that hath bent him o’er a goose,” The Gossip,
1821 216
“He who hath bent him o’er the bed,” Beauty and the
Beast, 1843 216
“He that don’t always bend his head, Punch, 1847 216
“He who hath looked with aching head” 216

THE BRIDE OF ABYDOS――
Know ye the Land? 217
Know’st thou the land? _Thomas Carlyle_ 217
Know ye the land where the leaf of the myrtle? 217
Know ye the town of the turkey and turtle? 217
Know ye the house in which Vestris and Nisbett? 217
Know’st thou the land where the kangaroos bound? 217
Know ye the house where the Whigs and the Tories?
Punch 1842 217
Where ye the scene where the clerks and the tailors?
Punch, 1844 218
Know ye the loss of the beautiful turtles? 218
Know ye the land where the hot toast and muffin? 218
Know ye the town where policemen and navvies? 218
Know ye the stream where the cesspool and sewer? 218
Know’st thou the spot where the venison and turtle?
Diogenes, 1853 218
Know ye the Inn where the laurel and Myrtle? 219
Know’st thou the land (of Greece)? _Shirley
Brooks_, 1854 219
Know you the lady who does’nt like turtle? _Shirley
Brooks_, 1856 219
Know ye the land of molasses and rum? 219
Know ye the Hall where the birch and the myrtle? 220
O, know you the land where the cheese tree grows? 220
Know’st thou the land where the hardy green thistle?
An Address to Lord Byron 220
Know ye the land where the novelists blurt all?
_Walter Parke_ 1870 208
Know ye the place where they press and they hurtle?
Jon Duan, 1874 220
Is it where the cabbage grows so fast? 221
Know ye the land of reeds and of rushes? 221
They stood upon his nose’s bridge of size. Lays of
Modern Oxford, 1874 221

PRISONER OF CHILLON.――Snowed up 228

SUBLIME TOBACCO! which from East to West 279
Sublime Potatoes; that from Antrim’s shore 279
Cabul, September, 1879. In imitation of the Siege
of Corinth. The World, 1879 221
The Civic Mazeppa, Punch, 1844 221
Mazeppa Travestied. 1820 279

DON JUAN――
“Bob Southey! you’re a poet” 222
“Ben Dizzy! you’re a humbug,” Jon Duan 222
The isles of Greece, the isles of Greece 222
The Isle of Eels! the Isle of Eels, Punch, 1844 223
The Smiles of Peace, _Shirley Brooks_, 1856 223
The Wines of Greece, Punch, 1865 224
The Ills of Greece Punch, 1879 224
The Claims of Greece, _G. A. Sala_ 224
The aisles of Rome, Jon Duan, 1874 224
The Isles decrease, Faust and Phisto, 1876 225
The Claims of Greece, Punch, 1881 225
The Town of Nice, _Herman Merivale_, 1883 225
The Smiles of Peace, Funny Folks, 1885 225
The Liberal Seats, Pall Mall Gazette, 1886 226
The Fields of Tothill; a Fragment 49
The Childe’s Pilgrimage, _W. F. Deacon_ 226
“Without one lingering look he leaves,” Lays of
Modern Oxford. 1874 227
Miscellaneous Parodies of Lord Byron’s Poems 228
Don Juan Unread (1819), _Dr. W. Maginn_ 229
(A Parody of Wordsworth’s “Yarrow Unvisited”)

――――

Thomas Campbell.

LORD ULLIN’S DAUGHTER 21
Sir Robert’s Bill. Protectionist Parodies 21
John Thompson’s Daughter, _Phœbe Carey_, 1854 22
Lambeth Ferry 22
The New Lord Ullin’s Daughter 23
“In London when the funds are low,” Coronation
Lays, 1831 113
“To London ’ere the sun is low,” _Hyde Parker_ 112

HOHENLINDEN 23
Bannockburn, _Archie Aliquis_, 1825 23
The Battle of Peas-Hill, from The Gradus ad
Cantabrigiam, 1824 23
Jenny-Linden, Punch, 1847 23
The Bal-Masqué at Crockford’s――The Man in the Moon 25
Row-in-London, The Puppet Show, 1848 25
The Battle of the Boulevard, _W. E. Aytoun_ 25
Hohen-London, Punch, 1851 26
Swindon Station 26
Hotel Swindling, Diogenes, 1853 26
The Battle of Bull-Run 27
“At Seacliff, when the time passed slow,” College
Rhymes, 1861, _L. E. S_ 27
“At Belton, ere the twilight grew” 27
“At Oxford when my funds were low,” Lays of Modern
Oxford, 1874 27
At Prince’s when the sun is low, 1876 28
The Tay Bridge Disaster, _F. B. Doveton_, 1880 28
“In Erin where the Praties grow,” _J. M. Lowry_ 28
Hohenlinden, Latin translations of 28
The Tay Bridge Disaster, _J. F. Baird_ 43
” ” ” ” _L. Beck_ 43
The Lawn Tennis Match, _F. B. Doveton_ 47

THE SOLDIER’S DREAM 29
“We were wet as the deuce,” Punch 1853 29
The Boat Race: “We had stripped off our coats,” Lays
of Modern Oxford, 1874 29
The Tory Premier’s Dream, Funny Folks, 1880 29
The Fatal Gallopade, The Comic Magazine, 1834 30

LOCHIEL’S WARNING 30
1879, its glory and its shame. Prize Poem. The
World. 1880, _Goymour Cuthbert_
“Old year, old year, I’m glad of the day” 30
“Chieftain, O, Chieftain, lament for the year” 31
“Old women! old women! prepare for the day,”
_J. H. Wheeler_ 31
“O, Cecil! O, Cecil! beware of the day,”
_James Robinson_ 31
“O, Salisbury, Salisbury, beware of the day,”
_Albert Otley_ 32
“O, Tories! O, Tories! beware of the day” 32
The Student’s Warning, 1838 45

YE MARINERS OF ENGLAND 32
Ye Kite-flyers of Scotland, _Thomas Love Peacock_ 32
Young gentlemen of England, Punch, 1844 33
Ye Peasantry of England, Punch, 1845 33
Ye Constables of London, Puppet Show, 1848 34
Ye Ship builders of England, Punch, 1849 34
Ye Subalterns in England Punch, 1854 34
Ye Clergymen of England, Punch, 1856 35
March, March, Make-rags of Borrowdale, _T. L. Peacock_ 33
You rustic maids of England, Punch, 1857 35
Ye Commoners of England, Echoes from the Clubs, 1867 35
You sneaking Skunks of England, Lyrics and Lays, 1867 35
Ye Gentlemen of Ireland, Punch, 1870 36
Ye Scavengers of England, Punch, 1880 36
Ye Milliners of England, _Hugh Cayley_, 1883 36
Ye Mariners of England (Torpedo Terrors) 37
Ye Infantry of England, Punch 37
Ye Gentlemen of England, Truth, 1884 37
Ye Mariners of England (and Mr. J. Chamberlain)
Funny Folks, 1884 38
” ” ” ” Punch 1884 38
” ” ” ” Globe, 1885 39
Ye Radicals of Brumm’gem, 1884 39
Ye Gentlemen of England (Cricket Match) 39
Ye Shopkeepers of London, Truth, 1884 40
Ye Ministers of England, Truth, 1879 40
You faithful Muggletonians, 40
Ye Mariners of England (on Chinese Sailors) 47

THE MAID’S REMONSTRANCE――
The Bench of Bishops. _James Turner_ 40
Randolph’s Remonstrance to Sir Stafford. _H. L.
Brickel_ 40
Britannia’s Remonstrance. _J. A. Elliott_ 40
Staffy’s Remonstrance. _Gossamer_ 41

THE EXILE OF ERIN 41
Parody from Figaro in London, May, 1833 41
Mitchell in Norfolk Island, The Puppet Show, 1848 42
The Ex-premier’s Visit to Erin, 1877 42
Ireland’s Distress, _Captain Walford_ 42
” ” _Miss E. Chamberlayne_ 42
The Sorrows of Ireland. Rejected Odes, 181 47
Ye Mariners of England (as sung by Lord Ellenborough),
Punch, 1846 110
You Managers of Railways, Punch, 1847 110
Ye Husbandmen of Scotland 110
Ye Liberals of England, Funny Folks, 1880 111
“There came to the beach a poor landlord of Erin,”
_M. O’Brien_. The Irish Fireside, 1886 111

BATTLE OF THE BALTIC 43
Battle of the Balls. The University Snowdrop. 44
Stanzas on a Late Battle ” ” 45
The Burning of the Play House (Covent Garden.)
_Shirley Brooks_ 45
“Of Scotia and the North.” Rival Rhymes, 1859 47
The Escape of the Aldermen. Punch, 1845 111

THE LAST MAN――
The Last Growler. Punch, 1885 46
The Last Duke. Punch, 1846 109
The Last Man in Town. Funny Folks, 1878 109
The Massacre of Glenho. Puck on Pegasus 46

THE PLEASURES OF HOPE. 47
Campbell, undone and outdone. _Joseph G. Dalton_ 47
Portrait of Campbell. Maclise Portrait Gallery 47
Lines on Campbell. _Dr. W. Maginn_ 47

――――

Miss Catherine Fanshawe.

THE ENIGMA ON THE LETTER H 197
A Parody on the above――Henry Mayhew 197
The Letter H’s Petition and a Reply 197
Petition of the letter W, and reply 198
An Enigma on the letter U. The Gownsman, 1830 278

――――

Dr. Oliver Goldsmith.

WHEN LOVELY WOMAN STOOPS TO FOLLY 3
“Lorsqu’une femme,” _Ségur_ 3
“When woman,” as Goldsmith declares, _Barham_ 3
When Harry Brougham turns a Tory. Punch, 1844 3
When lovely woman wants a favour. _Phœbe Carey_ 3
When lovely woman, prone to folly. Punch, 1854 3
When lovely woman stoops. Diogenes, 1853 4
When lovely woman, hooped in folly. Punch, 1857 4
When lovely woman, lump of folly. _S. Brooks_ 4
When managers have stooped to folly. Fun, 1866 4
When lovely woman takes to lollies. Grasshopper. 4
When lovely woman, still a maiden. Kottabos. 4
When lovely woman stoops to fashion. 4
When lovely woman takes to rinking 4
When lovely woman reads _Le Follet_. Figaro, 1873 4
When foolish man consents to marry 4
When lovely woman, once so jolly 5
When lovely woman finds that breaches 5
When lovely woman’s melancholy. Fun, 1885 5
When lovely woman longs to marry 5
When stupid Odger stoops to folly. Judy 5
When foolish woman stoops to fashion. 1882 5
When man, less faithful than the colley. Judy. 5
If lovely woman seeks to enter. Gossip, 1885 5
When lovely woman pines in folly――1885 5
When lovely woman stoops to Foli 5
When a grave Speaker stoops to folly 17

AN ELEGY ON THE DEATH OF A MAD DOG 6

AN ELEGY ON MRS. MARY BLAIZE 6
Le Fameux la Galisse, by Gilles de Ménage, 1729 6
The Happy Man. The Mirror, 1823 8
Le Chanson de La Palice, by Bernard de la Monnoye 8
John Smith, he was a guardsman bold. The Comic
Magazine, 1834 9
There was a man, so legends say. _Tom Hood_ 10
An Elegy on Mrs. Grimes. The Century Magazine 10

DESCRIPTION OF AN AUTHOR’S BED CHAMBER 10
The Street Artist. The Month, 1851 10

THE DESERTED VILLAGE 10
The Doomed Village 10
The Deserted Village (London). The Tomahawk 11
London in September. _Lord John Russell_ 12
Innovation. _Anthony Pasquin_. 1786 18
The Frequented Village. _E. Young_ 19
The Deserted School. _James E. Thompson_, 1885 19

THE HERMIT 12
“Gentle Herdsman tell to me” 12
The Friar of Orders Gray 14
The Hermit――a Prophetic Ballad. The St. James’s
Gazette, 1881 15
The Hermit of Vauxhall, _G. A. à Beckett_, 1845 17

RETALIATION
The Speaker’s Dinner. Posthumous Parodies 15
Home, sweet Home. _H. C. Bunner_, 1881 17
The Tears of Genius. _Courtney Melmoth_, 1774 (Thomas
Jackson Pratt) 19
The Vicar of Wakefield, and Olivia. _W. G. Wills_ 19
The Vicar of Wide-a-Wakefield, or the Miss-Terryous
Uncle, a burlesque by _H. P. Stephens and W.
Yardley_ 19
The Caste of the Burlesque 20
Jupiter and Mercury. _David Garrick_ 20

――――

Mrs. F. D. Hemans.

THE STATELY HOMES OF ENGLAND 129
The Donkey-boys of England. Punch, 1849 129
The Garden Grounds of England 130
The Merchant Prince of England. _Shirley Brooks_ 130
The dirty Cabs of London. Punch, 1853 130
The Duns of Merry England. Diogenes, 1853 131
The Barristers of England. Punch, 1853 131
The Compo’d Homes of England. The Figaro 131
The Stately Homes of England. Truth, 1877 132
The Cottage Homes of England. Punch, 1874 132
The Haunted Homes of England. Pall Mall Gazette, 1883 132
The Stately Men of England. _Hugh Cayley_ 132
The Unhealthy Homes of England. Punch, 1884 133
Ye Cottage Homes of England. Truth, 1885 133
The Graves of a Household. The Man in the Moon 138
He never wrote again. _Phœbe Carey_, 1854 139

LEAVES HAVE THEIR TIME TO FALL.
Fish have their times to bite. College Rhymes 139

CASABIANCA 133
“Macbeth stood on the new-built Stage” (Mr. Henry
Irving as Macbeth.) The Figaro, 1875 134
The Mule stood on the Steamboat Deck” 134
“The boy stood on the back-yard fence” 134
“The dog lay on the butcher’s stoop” 134
“The Peer stood on the burning deck.” Truth, 1884 134
“The girl stewed on the burning deck” 135
“The boy stood by the stable door” 135

THE BETTER LAND 135
“I’ve heard thee speak of a good hotel” 136
“I have heard you speak of ‘Three acres of land.’”
_Edward Walford_, M.A. Life, 1885 136
“I hear thee speak of a bit o’ land” 136
“I hear thee speak of a ‘Plot of Land’” 137
An answer to the preceding 137
“I hear thee speak of a Western land” 137
“I hear them speak of a Happy Land.” Fun 138

――――

Charles Kingsley.

“THREE FISHERS WENT SAILING AWAY TO THE WEST” 117
“Three Merchants went riding.” Punch, 1858 117
“Four Merchants who thought themselves.” 117
The Lasher at Iffley. College Rhymes, 1861. “Eight
coveys went out in their college boat.” 117
“Three mothers sat talking.” Punch, 1861 118
“Three freshmen went loafing.” College Rhymes 118
“Three fellahs went out to a house in the west.” 118
“Three husbands went forth.” Banter, 1867 118
“Three Children were playing.” The Mocking Bird,
_F. Field_, 1868 119
“Three Students sat writing.” The Cantab, 1873 119
“Three _gourmands_ invited were into the West.” 119
“Three ladies went skating.” Idyls of the Rink 119
“Three regiments went sailing away to the East,” 119
“Three practical men went strolling west.” 120
“Three profits had got to come out of the land.” 120
“Three lambkins went larking.” Judy, 1879 120
“Three rascals went ranting round in the West.”
_Gobo_, The World, 1879 120
“Three land agitators went down to the West.” 121
“Three Paddies went spouting away at Gurteen.”
_F. B. Doveton_ 121
“Three fishes were floating about in the Sea.” 121
“Three Tories went bravely.” Grins and Groans 121
“There were three pussy cats.” Fun. 1882 121
“Three Fishmongers looked for a sale.” 1883 122
“Three Potters set out all dressed in their best.” 122
“Three Champions went stumping.” Punch 1884 122
“Three Fossils sat perched in the Whitehall Zoo.” 122
“Three fishermen went gaily out into the North.” 122
“Three acres seemed pleasant to Countryman Hodge.”
Punch, 1885 123
“Three Farmers went driving up into the town.” 123
“Three Topers went strolling out into the East.”
_Hyde Parker._ 1886 123
“Three Poets went sailing down Boston streets.”
_Lilian Whiting_ 123
“Three Filchers went cadging.” The Free Lance 124
Three Students were walking.” The Lays of the Mocking
Sprite 124
“Three Melons went sailing out in the West.” 124
“Three Carpets hung waiving abroad in the breeze.” 124
“Three worthless young fellows went out in the night.” 124
“Three Sports got into a railroad car.” 125
“Three husbands went reeling home out of the West.”
_Mrs. G. L. Banks_ 125
“Three young men who never went astray.” 125
“Three Anglers went down to fish Sunbury Weir.” The
Angler’s Journal, 1886 139
“Three Freshers went sailing out into the street.” 139
“An Umpire went sallying out into the East.” 140
Three women went sailing out into the street. 279
Three little fishers trudged over the hill. _F. H.
Stauffer_ 279
Three cows were seized for tithe rent in the West. 280
Three fishers went fishing out into the sea. _H. C.
Dodge_ 280

ODE TO THE NORTH-EAST WIND.
“Welcome, wild North-Easter!” 125
The Surgeon’s Wind. Punch, 1857 126
Hang thee, vile North-Easter. Punch, 1858 126
“Welcome, wild North-Easter,” as sung by a Debutante
at the last Drawing Room 127
Welcome, English Easter. Fun, 1867 128
Kingsley, and the South-west Trains 128
“I once saw a sweet pretty face.” 128
The Dirdum. A parody of C. Kingsley’s Scotch poem on
an Oubit, 1862 129

――――

Thomas Moore.

’TIS THE LAST ROSE OF SUMMER 230
’Tis the first rose of Summer, _R. Gilfillan_ 230
Do. do. Wiseheart’s Songster 230
’Tis the last man in London. The National
Omnibus, 1831 230
I’m the last Rose of Summer, 1832 231
’Tis the last summer bonnet. _T. H. Bayly_, 1833 231
’Tis the last bit of candle. Wiseheart’s Songster 231
The last lamp of the alley. _Dr. Maginn_ 232
’Tis the last choice Havana 232
’Tis the straw hat of summer 232
’Tis the last of the Fancy. Judy, 1867 232
’Tis the last weed of Hudson’s. J. R. G. 233
’Tis the last little tizzy. The Snob, 1829 233
’Tis the last of the members. Figaro in London 233
’Tis the last fly of summer. Punch’s Pocket Book, 1848 233
He’s the last “Vivâ Voce.” College Rhymes 234
’Tis the last belle of summer. Funny Folks 234
’Tis the last pipe this winter. Funny Folks, 1879 234
’Tis the last jar of pickles 234
He’s the last of his party. _R. H. Lawrence_ 234
’Tis the last baked potato. _W. W. Dixon_ 235
’Tis a prime leg of mutton. _Lizzie Griffin_ 235
’Tis the last rose of Windsor. _F. Rawkins_ 235
’Tis the last blow of a drummer. _Hugh Cayley_ 235
’Tis the last _ruse_ of someone. The Globe, 1886 236
Let Erin remember. Punch. 1885 236

WHEN HE WHO ADORES THEE 236
To a Bottle of old Port. _Dr. Maginn_ 236
When he who adjures thee 236
When he who now bores thee 264

THE HARP THAT ONCE THROUGH TARA’S HALLS 236
The Puff that once thro’ Colburn’s halls. 1831 237
The Belt which once. Egan’s Book of Sports, 1832 237
The Harp that once in Warren’s Mart. Punch 237
The Broom that once through Sarah’s halls. Judy 237
The Girl that oft in lighted halls, 1869 237
The Voice that once thro’ Senate halls. Funny
Folks, 1884 237
Luke Sharpe, who once. Detroit Free Press, 1885 238
The Plate that once through Fashion’s halls 264
Fly not yet, ’tis just the hour. Figaro, 1833 260
Fly not to wine. The Blue Bag, 1832 238
Fly not yet. St. James’s Gazette, 1881 238

RICH AND RARE WERE THE GEMS SHE WORE 238
Rich and furred was the robe he wore, _T. Hook_ 238
Ragged and rough were the clothes she wore 239
Rich and rare were the arms she bore 239
Rough and red was the cloak she wore 239
Quaint and queer were the gems she wore 264

THERE IS NOT IN THE WIDE WORLD 239
There is not in this city an alley so sweet. National
Omnibus, 1831 239
There is not in the palace. National Omnibus 239
There’s not in Saint Stephen’s. Figaro in London 239
There is not in all London. Punch, 1842 240
There’s not in the wide world a country so sweet 240
There’s not in the wide world an odour less sweet 240
O, There’s not in the West-end, Punch. 1872 240
There’s not in all London a tavern so gay. _G. W. M.
Reynolds_ 240
On Stephen Kemble 240
The Irish welcome 241
The Trifle. Punch, 1852 241
The Bitter cry of outcast London. Two parodies from
the Weekly Dispatch, by _T. A. Wilson_ and _Aramis_ 241
The meteing of the waters. Punch, 1884 241
The Thames. _B. Saunders_. 1884 242
The House of Lords. H. B., 1884 242
There is not to the poet. _E. A. Horne_, 1884 242
The Heiress. _Aramis_. 1884 242
The Club Smoking-room. _J. Pratt_, 1884 242
The Meeting of the Emperors. Moonshine, 1884 243
There’s not in old Ireland. _Walter Parke_ 270
Come, send round the wine. 1825 243

BELIEVE ME, IF ALL THOSE ENDEARING YOUNG CHARMS 243
Mr. Colburn to Lady Morgan’s Books, 1831 243
On the House of Lords and Reform. Figaro in London,
1831 243
Believe me, dear Susan. Diogenes, 1854 243
To a lady in a crinoline. Punch, 1857 244
John Bull to Paddy, 1867 244
John Bright to his place, 1869 244
To an Ancient Coquette 244
On College Don 244
On Roast pork. _F. B. Doveton_, 1881 244
On Tory election promises, 1886 244
Oh, blame not the Bard. Fun, 1883 245
Oh! the days are gone when beauty bright. 1869 245

LESBIA HATH A BEAMING EYE 245
Peggy hath a squinting eye 245
Lesbia hath a fowl to cook 246
Lesbia’s skirt doth streaming fly. Punch, 1856 246
Lemon is a little hipped. _Charles Dickens_, 1855 246
This suit is all chequer’d 246

OH! THE SHAMROCK 247
Oh! the Scarecrows. United Ireland, 1885 247
One more try at parting. Punch’s Almanac, 1883 247

THE YOUNG MAY MOON 248
The Irishman’s serenade 248
The Bladder of whiskey 248
The Cat’s serenade 248
The old March moon. Diogenes, 1854 248
Song of the Signalman, Punch, 1885 248
Defeated Manœuvres 249

THE MINSTREL BOY 249
Mister Sheil into Kent has gone. _W. M. Thackeray_ 249
The Sailor Boy on a tour is gone. 1832 249
The _leary cove_ to the Mill is gone. 1832 249
The fiddler’s boy to the fair is gone 249
The Koh-i-noor to the wall has gone. Punch, 1851 250
The Cordon Bleu (M. A. Soyer). Punch, 1855 250
The Draper’s man. Punch, 1857 250
The Chinese Boy to the War is gone 250
The Errand Boy. Judy, 1869 250
The Beardless Boy. Punch, 1875 250
The Minstrel Boy in the train. Funny Folks 250
Bradlaugh to protest is gone. _S. J. Miott_ 251
The Warrior Duke (of Cambridge) 251
The Alderman from Guildhall has gone. Judy, 1880 251
The Girton Girl to Exam’ has gone. Funny Folks 251
The Grand old Boy. Punch, 1882 251
The Noble Lord to the stores is gone. Judy, 1882 251
Sir D. V. Gay to the poll is gone. United Ireland 252
Our Bradlaugh boy 252
The ’prentice boy to the street has gone 252
The Grand Young Man. _F. B. Doveton_ 252
The Grand old man to the North has gone. Life 253
The Grand old man. Songs for Liberal electors 253
The Shy Bo-Peep to the sea is gone. A. H. S. 276
The time I’ve lost in “screwing” 253
Come, rest on this gridiron. Punch, 1881 253
To the Finish I went. _Dr. W. Maginn_ 253
I saw up the steps. Lays of the Mocking Sprite 253
I saw from my window. Girl of the Period, 1869 254

SAIL ON, SAIL ON, THOU FEARLESS BARK 254
Scale on, scale on, oh! tuneless strummer 254

THEE, THEE, ONLY THEE 254
Tea, Tea, only Tea. Punch, 1884 254

OH! CALL IT BY SOME BETTER NAME 254
Oh, try, good sirs, some better game. 1886.
_B. Saunders_ 254
Oh! try some worthier, better game. _D. Evans_ 255
Oh! call it by some better name. _J. Fitzpatrick_ 255
Oh! call it by some fitter name. _Gossamer_ 255
Oh! call him by some stronger name. _Robert Puttick_ 255

I KNEW BY THE SMOKE THAT SO GRACEFULLY CURL’D 255
I knew by the wig that so gracefully curl’d 255
I knew by the post that so gaily display’d. The
Mirror, 1823 255
We knew by the string that so gracefully curl’d 256
I saw by the steam that so gracefully curl’d 256
I knew by the smoke that so heavily curl’d 256
To Dizzy, “When time hath bereft thee,” 1867 256
By the Thames to the right, is the flat shore of Erith 256
Had I a shilling left to spare, _Bertie Vyse_ 256

A CANADIAN BOAT SONG.
“Faintly as tolls the evening chime” 257
The Cabinet’s Boat Song, 1878 257
“Plainly as tolls disruption’s chime,” 1886 257

HITHER, FLORA, QUEEN OF FLOWERS! 257
“Hither, Flora of the street. _T. A. Wilson_ 257
“Hither, Flora, Queen of Flowers.” _Aramis_ 258
” ” ” ” _Thistle_ 258
When in gaol I shall calm recline 258
When in death I shall quiet be found 258
When in death I shall calm recline. 1832 271
Farewell! but whenever you welcome the hour 259
To Tory hearts a round, boys 259
A nice Devill’d Biscuit. Punch 259
Apple pie. “All new dishes fade.” 259

THOSE EVENING BELLS 259
Those Christmas Bills. _W. Hone_, 1826 259
That Chapel Bell. The Gownsman, 1830 260
My white moustache. Figaro, 1832 260
Those London belles. _Miss Bryant_ 260
Those Ball-room belles. Diogenes, 1853 261
Those Scotch hotels, Diogenes, 1853 261
Those Gresham chimes. Punch, 1853 261
Those Tramway bells. Funny Folks 261
Those Evening bells. _Tom Hood_ 261
Those London Bells. _Shirley Brooks_, 1855 261
Those Pretty Girls. J. W. W. 261
Those Vatted Rums. Punch, 1855 262
Those evening belles. Pan the Pilgrim 262
That Muffin bell. Punch, 1880 262
The Parcel Post. Judy, 1883 262
Those Evening belles. Moonshine, 1886 262

OFT, IN THE STILLY NIGHT 262
Oft, o’er my tea and toast. Figaro in London 263
Oft, in his present plight. The Puppet Show, 1848 263
Oft, in the chilly night. Memoirs of a Stomach 263
Oft, on a “silly” night. Funny Folks, 1878 263
Oft, in election’s fight. Truth, 1886 263

HERE’S THE BOWER SHE LOVED SO MUCH 264
Here’s the box that held the snuff 264
Here’s the bottle she loved so much. _J. Bruton_ 264

THERE’S A BOWER OF ROSES BY BENDEMEER’S STREAM 264
There’s of benches a row in St. Stephen’s extreme 264
There’s a bower of bean-vines in Benjamin’s yard.
_Phœbe Carey_, 1854 264
One morn a Tory at the gate. Figaro, 1832 265
A Peri at the “Royal” gate. Truth. 1877 265
This week a Peeress at the gate. Truth, 1883 265
One morn Ben Dizzy at the gate 266

FAREWELL, FAREWELL TO THEE, ARABY’S DAUGHTER 266
Farewell, farewell to thee, desolate Erin! 266
Farewell, farewell to thee, Arabi darling! 266
Begone, begone with thee, son of Shere Ali! 267
Away, away, with the Ameer unlucky! 267
Farewell, farewell to thee, Ireland’s protector! 270

OH! EVER THUS, FROM CHILDHOOD’S HOUR 267
I never wrote up “Skates to Sell” 267
I never loved a dear gazelle 268
I never rear’d a young gazelle. _H. S. Leigh_ 268
I never had a piece of toast 268
A Parody by _Tom Hood_ the younger 268
Wus! ever wus! _H. Cholmondeley-Pennell_ 268
’Twas ever thus! _C. S. Calverley_ 268
I never bought a young Gazelle 269
The young Gazelle, a Moore-ish tale. _Walter Parke_ 269
Come hither, come hither, by night and by day 270
A Parody. On the House of Commons, 1832 270
Sweet Borough of Tamworth 1832 270
The Sweet Briar. C. S. K. 271
Miscellaneous Parodies on “Paradise and the Peri” 271
Lalla Rookh Burlesque. _Vincent Amcotts_ 272
One more Irish Melody, 1869 272
On Lord Brougham, 1833 272
Loves of the Mortals 272
Loves of the New Police 273
Jack Randall’s Diary, 1820 273
Young Love once fell through a straw-thatched shed 273
The Bencher, or whitewashing day 273
The Living Lustres. Rejected Addresses 273
A Fallen Angel over a Bowl of Rum-Punch. _Christopher
North_, 1823 274
Love and the Flimsies. _Thomas Love Peacock_ 275
The Bard of Erin’s Lament 275
Old Sherry. (An Anacreontic, 1828) 275

ANACREON’S ODE XXI.
“Observe when mother earth is dry” 276
Earlier translations by Ronsard, Capilupus,
Shakespeare, Lord Rochester, and Abraham Cowley 276
On Moore’s Plagiarisms. An article in Fraser’s
Magazine, June, 1841 276
Lays of the Saintly. _Walter Parke_ 270
“The Duke is the lad to frighten a lass,” by _Thomas
Moore_ 260

――――

Sir Walter Scott.

Rebecca and Rowena. _W. M. Thackeray_ 71
A Tale of Drury Lane. Rejected Addresses 72

BLUE BONNETS OVER THE BORDER 73
Blue Stockings over the Border. Mirror 1828 74
Write, write, tourist and traveller. _Robert
Gilfillan_ 74
Read, read, Woodstock and Waverley, _Robert
Gilfillan_, 1831 74
Tax, tax, Income and Property. Punch, 1851 75
March, march, pipe-clayed and belted in 75
Take, take, lobsters and lettuces. Punch 75
Take, take, blue pill and colocynth. Punch 75
Drill, drill, London and Manchester. Punch, 1859 75

MR. KEMPLE’S FAREWELL ADDRESS, 1817
“As the worn war-horse at the trumpet’s sound” 75
Mr. Patrick Robertson’s farewell to the Bar
“As the worn show horse whom Ducrow so long” 76
Lament for Tabby, or the Cat’s Coronach. The
Satirist, 1814 76

THE LAY OF THE LAST MINSTREL 77
Introduction――
“The way was long, the wind was cold” 77
“The tide was low, the wind was cold.” Funny
Folks, 1875 77
“The sun was hot, the day was bright.” Weekly
Echo, 1885 77
The Lay of the last Cab-Hack. Funny Folks 78
The Bray of the last Donkey 78
The Lay of the last Ministry. Fun, 1885 78
Mr. Barnum’s Experience of Travelling 116

CANTO III.――
“And said I that my limbs were old” 78
“And thought they I was growing old.” They are
Five. 1880, 79