Chapter II: Prologue: , (2)

_Mon._ Dear _Flippanta_, that was only my modesty; but since you'll have it out----I am a very dragon; and so your lady'll find----if ever she thinks fit to be----Now I hope you'll stand my friend.

_Flip._ Well, Sir, as far as my credit goes, it shall be employ'd in your service.

_Mon._ My best _Flippanta_--tell her--I'm all hers--tell her--my body's hers--tell her--my soul's hers--and tell her--my estate's hers. Lord have mercy upon me, how I'm in love!

_Flip._ Poor man! what a sweat he's in! But hark--I hear my master; for heaven's sake compose yourself a little; you are in such a fit, o' my conscience he'll smell you out.

_Mon._ Ah dear, I'm in such an emotion, I dare not be seen; put me in this closet for a moment.

_Flip._ Closet, man! it's too little, your love wou'd stifle you. Go air yourself in the garden a little, you have need on't, i'faith.

[_She puts him out._

_~Flippanta~ sola._

A rare adventure, by my troth. This will be curious news to the wives. Fortune has now put their husbands into their hands, and I think they are too sharp to neglect its favours.

_Enter ~Gripe~._

_Gripe._ O, here's the right hand; the rest of the body can't be far off. Where's my wife, huswife?

_Flip._ An admirable question!----Why, she's gone abroad, Sir.

_Gripe._ Abroad, abroad, abroad already? Why, she uses to be stewing in her bed three hours after this time, as late as 'tis: What makes her gadding so soon?

_Flip._ Business, I suppose.

_Gripe._ Business! she has a pretty head for business truly: O ho, let her change her way of living, or I'll make her change a light heart for a heavy one.

_Flip._ And why would you have her change her way of living, Sir? You see it agrees with her. She never look'd better in her life.

_Gripe._ Don't tell me of her looks, I have done with her looks long since. But I'll make her change her life, or----

_Flip._ Indeed. Sir, you won't.

_Gripe._ Why, what shall hinder me, insolence?

_Flip._ That which hinders most husbands; contradiction.

_Gripe._ Suppose I resolve I won't be contradicted?

_Flip._ Suppose she resolves you shall?

_Gripe._ A wife's resolution is not good by law.

_Flip._ Nor a husband's by custom.

_Gripe._ I tell thee I will not bear it.

_Flip._ I tell you, Sir, you will bear it.

_Gripe._ Oons, I have borne it three years already.

_Flip._ By that you see 'tis but giving your mind to it.

_Gripe._ My mind to it! Death and the devil! My mind to it!

_Flip._ Look ye, Sir, you may swear and damn, and call the furies to assist you! but 'till you apply the remedy to the right place, you'll never cure the disease. You fancy you have got an extravagant wife, is't not so?

_Gripe._ Pr'ythee change me that word fancy, and it is so.

_Flip._ Why there's it. Men are strangely troubled with the vapours of late. You'll wonder now if I tell you, you have the most reasonable wife in town: And that all the disorders you think you see in her, are only here, here, here, in your own head.

[_Thumping his forehead._

_Gripe._ She is then, in thy opinion, a reasonable woman?

_Flip._ By my faith, I think so.

_Gripe._ I shall run mad--Name me an extravagance in the world she is not guilty of.

_Flip._ Name me an extravagance in the world she is guilty of.

_Gripe._ Come then: Does not she put the whole house in disorder?

_Flip._ Not that I know of, for she never comes into it but to sleep.

_Gripe._ 'Tis very well: Does she employ any one moment of her life in the government of her family?

_Flip._ She is so submissive a wife, she leaves it entirely to you.

_Gripe._ Admirable! Does she not spend more money in coach-hire, and chair-hire, than would maintain six children?

_Flip._ She's too nice of your credit to be seen daggling in the streets.

_Gripe._ Good! Do I set eye on her sometimes in a week together?

_Flip._ That, Sir, is because you are never stirring at the same time; you keep odd hours; you are always going to bed when she's rising, and rising just when she's coming to bed.

_Gripe._ Yes, truly, night into day, and day into night, bawdy-house play, that's her trade; but these are trifles: Has she not lost her diamond necklace? Answer me to that, Trapes.

_Flip._ Yes; and has sent as many tears after it, as if it had been her husband.

_Gripe._ Ah----the pox take her; but enough. 'Tis resolv'd, and I will put a stop to the course of her life, or I will put a stop to the course of her blood, and so she shall know, the first time I meet with her; [_Aside._] which tho' we are man and wife, and lie under one roof, 'tis very possible may not be this fortnight.

[_Exit ~Gripe~._

_~Flippanta~ sola._

Nay, thou hast a blessed time on't, that must be confess'd. What a miserable devil is a husband! Insupportable to himself, and a plague to every thing about them. Their wives do by them, as children do by dogs, teaze and provoke 'em, 'till they make them so curs'd, they snarl and bite at every thing that comes in their reach. This wretch here is grown perverse to that degree, he's for his wife's keeping home, and making hell of his house, so he may be the devil in it to torment her. How niggardly soever he is of all things he possesses, he is willing to purchase her misery at the expence of his own peace. But he'd as good be still, for he'll miss of his aim. If I know her (which I think I do) she'll set his blood in such a ferment, it shall bubble out at every pore of him; whilst hers is so quiet in her veins, her pulse shall go like a pendulum.

[_Exit._

+ACT+ III.

+SCENE+, _Mrs._ Amlet's _House_.

_Enter ~Dick~._

Where's this old woman?----A hey. What the devil, nobody at home? Ha! her strong box!----And the key in't! 'tis so. Now fortune be my friend. What the duce----Not a penny of money in cash!----Nor a chequer note!----Nor a Bank bill----[_Searching the strong box._]----Nor a crooked stick! Nor a----Mum----here's something----A diamond necklace, by all the Gods! Oons the old woman----Zest.

[_Claps the necklace in his pocket, then runs and asks her
blessing._]

_Enter Mrs. ~Amlet~._

----Pray mother, pray to, _&c._

_Aml._ Is it possible!----_Dick_ upon his humble knee! Ah my dear child!----May heaven be good unto thee.

_Dick._ I'm come, my dear mother, to pay my duty to you, and to ask your consent to----

_Aml._ What a shape is there!

_Dick._ To ask your consent, I say, to marry a great fortune; for what is riches in this world without a blessing? And how can there be a blessing without respect and duty to parents?

_Aml._ What a nose he has!

_Dick._ And therefore it being the duty of every good child not to dispose of himself in marriage, without the----

_Aml._ Now the Lord love thee [_Kissing him._]----for thou art a goodly young man: Well, Dick----And how goes it with the lady? Are her eyes open to thy charms? Does she see what's for her own good? Is she sensible of the blessings thou hast in store for her? Ha! is all sure? Hast thou broke a piece of money with her? Speak, bird, do: Don't be modest, and hide thy love from thy mother, for I'm an indulgent parent.

_Dick._ Nothing under heaven can prevent my good fortune, but its being discover'd I'm your son----

_Aml._ Then thou art still asham'd of thy natural mother.--Graceless! Why, I'm no whore, sirrah.

_Dick._ I know you are not----A whore! Bless us all----

_Aml._ No; My reputation's as good as the best of 'em; and tho' I'm old, I'm chaste, you rascal you.

_Dick._ Lord, that is not the thing we talk of, mother; but----

_Aml._ I think, as the world goes, they may be proud of marrying their daughter into a vartuous family.

_Dick._ Oons, vartue is not the case----

_Aml._ Where she may have a good example before her eyes.

_Dick._ O Lord! O Lord! O Lord!

_Aml._ I'm a woman that don't so much as encourage an incontinent look towards me.

_Dick._ I tell you, 'sdeath, I tell you----

_Aml._ If a man shou'd make an uncivil motion to me, I'd spit in his lascivious face: And all this you may tell them, sirrah.

_Dick._ Death and furies! the woman's out of her--

_Aml._ Don't you swear, you rascal you, don't you swear; we shall have thee damn'd at last, and then I shall be disgrac'd.

_Dick._ Why then in cold blood hear me speak to you: I tell you it's a city-fortune I'm about, she cares not a fig for your virtue; she'll hear of nothing but quality: She has quarrell'd with one of her friends for having a better complexion, and is resolved she'll marry, to take place of her.

_Aml._ What a cherry lip is there!

_Dick._ Therefore, good dear mother, now have a care and don't discover me; for if you do, all's lost.

_Aml._ Dear, dear, how thy fair bride will be delighted: Go, get thee gone, go: Go fetch her home, go fetch her home; I'll give her a sack-posset, and a pillow of down she shall lay her head upon. Go fetch her home, I say.

_Dick._ Take care then of the main chance, my dear mother; remember, if you discover me----

_Aml._ Go, fetch her home, I say.

_Dick._ You promise me then----

_Aml._ March.

_Dick._ But swear to me----

_Aml._ Be gone, sirrah.

_Dick._ Well, I'll rely upon you--But one kiss before I go.

[_Kisses her heartily, and runs off._

_Aml._ Now the Lord love thee! for thou art a comfortable young man.

[_Exit Mrs. ~Amlet~._

+SCENE+, Gripe's _House_.

_Enter ~Corinna~ and ~Flippanta~._

_Cor._ But hark you, _Flippanta_, if you don't think he loves me dearly, don't give him my letter, after all.

_Flip._ Let me alone.

_Cor._ When he has read it, let him give it you again.

_Flip._ Don't trouble yourself.

_Cor._ And not a word of the pudding to my mother-in-law.

_Flip._ Enough.

_Cor._ When we come to love one another to the purpose, she shall know all.

_Flip._ Ay, then 'twill be time.

_Cor._ But remember 'tis you make me do all this now, so if any mischief comes on't, 'tis you must answer for't.

_Flip._ I'll be your security.

_Cor._ I'm young, and know nothing of the matter; but you have experience, so it's your business to conduct me safe.

_Flip._ Poor innocence!

_Cor._ But tell me in serious sadness, _Flippanta_, does he love me with the very soul of him?

_Flip._ I have told you so an hundred times, and yet you are not satisfied.

_Cor._ But, methinks, I'd fain have him tell me so himself.

_Flip._ Have patience, and it shall be done.

_Cor._ Why, patience is a virtue; that we must all confess----But I fancy, the sooner it's done the better, _Flippanta_.

_Enter ~Jessamin~._

_Jess._ Madam, yonder's your Geography-Master waiting for you.

[_Exit._

_Cor._ Ah! how I am tir'd with these old fumbling fellows, _Flippanta_.

_Flip._ Well, don't let 'em break your heart, you shall be rid of them all ere long.

_Cor._ Nay, 'tis not the study I'm so weary of, _Flippanta_, 'tis the odious thing that teaches me. Were the Colonel my master, I fancy I could take pleasure in learning every thing he could shew me.

_Flip._ And he can shew you a great deal, I can tell you that. But get you gone in, here's somebody coming, we must not be seen together.

_Cor._ I will, I will, I will----O the dear Colonel.

[_Running off._

_Enter Mrs. ~Amlet~._

_Flip._ O ho, it's Mrs. _Amlet_----What brings you so soon to us again, Mrs. _Amlet_?

_Aml._ Ah! my dear Mrs. _Flippanta_, I'm in a furious fright.

_Flip._ Why, what's come to you?

_Aml._ Ah! Mercy on us all----Madam's diamond necklace----

_Flip._ What of that?

_Aml._ Are you sure you left it at my house?

_Flip._ Sure I left it! a very pretty question truly!

_Aml._ Nay, don't be angry; say nothing to madam of it, I beseech you: It will be found again, if it be heaven's good will. At least 'tis I must bear the loss on't. 'Tis my rogue of a son has laid his birdlime fingers on't.

_Flip._ Your son, Mrs. _Amlet_! Do you breed your children up to such tricks as these then?

_Aml._ What shall I say to you, Mrs. _Flippanta_? Can I help it? He has been a rogue from his cradle, _Dick_ has. But he has his deserts too. And now it comes in my head, mayhap he may have no ill design in this neither.

_Flip._ No ill design, woman! He's a pretty fellow if he can steal a diamond necklace with a good one.

_Aml._ You don't know him, Mrs. _Flippanta_, so well as I that bore him. _Dick_'s a rogue, 'tis true, but----Mum----

_Flip._ What does the woman mean?

_Aml._ Hark you, Mrs. _Flippanta_, is not here a young gentlewoman in your house that wants a husband?

_Flip._ Why do you ask?

_Aml._ By way of conversation only, it does not concern me; but when she marries I may chance to dance at the wedding. Remember I tell you so: I who am but Mrs. _Amlet_.

_Flip._ You dance at her wedding! you!

_Aml._ Yes, I, I; but don't trouble madam about her necklace, perhaps it mayn't go out of the family. Adieu, Mrs. _Flippanta_.

[_Exit Mrs. ~Amlet~._

_Flip._ What--what--what does the woman mean? Mad! What a capilotade of a story's here? The necklace lost; and her son Dick; and a fortune to marry; and she shall dance at the wedding; and----She does not intend, I hope, to propose a match between her son _Dick_ and _Corinna_! By my conscience I believe she does. An old beldam!

_Enter ~Brass~._

_Brass._ Well, hussy, how stand our affairs? Has miss writ us an answer yet? My master's very impatient yonder.

_Flip._ And why the duce does he not come himself? What does he send such idle fellows as thee of his errands? Here I had her alone just now: He won't have such an opportunity again this month, I can tell him that.

_Brass._ So much the worse for him; 'tis his business----But now, my dear, let thee and I talk a little of our own: I grow most damnably in love with thee; dost hear that?

_Flip._ Phu! thou art always timeing things wrong; my head is full, at present, of more important things than love.

_Brass._ Then it's full of important things indeed: Dost want a privy-counsellor?

_Flip._ I want an assistant.

_Brass._ To do what?

_Flip._ Mischief.

_Brass._ I'm thy man----touch.

_Flip._ But before I venture to let thee into my project, pr'ythee tell me, whether thou find'st a natural disposition to ruin a husband to oblige his wife?

_Brass._ Is she handsome?

_Flip._ Yes.

_Brass._ Why then my disposition's at her service.

_Flip._ She's beholden to thee.

_Brass._ Not she alone neither, therefore don't let her grow vain upon't; for I have three or four affairs of that kind going at this time.

_Flip._ Well, go carry this epistle from miss to thy master; and when thou com'st back, I'll tell thee thy business.

_Brass._ I'll know it before I go, if you please.

_Flip._ Thy master waits for an answer.

_Brass._ I'd rather he should wait than I.

_Flip._ Why then, in short, _Araminta_'s husband is in love with my lady.

_Brass._ Very well, child, we have a _Rowland_ for her _Oliver_: Thy lady's husband is in love with _Araminta_.

_Flip._ Who told you that, sirrah?

_Brass._ 'Tis a negociation I am charged with, Pert. Did not I tell thee I did business for half the town? I have managed Master _Gripe_'s little affairs for him these ten years, you slut you.

_Flip._ Hark thee, _Brass_, the game's in our hands, if we can but play the cards.

_Brass._ Pique and repique, you jade you, if the wives will fall into a good intelligence.

_Flip._ Let them alone; I'll answer for them they don't slip the occasion.----See here they come. They little think what a piece of good news we have for 'em.

_Enter ~Clarissa~ and ~Araminta~._

_Clar._ _Jessamin_! here, boy, carry up these things into my dressing-room, and break as many of them by the way as you can, be sure.----O! art thou there, _Brass_! What news?

_Brass._ Madam, I only call'd in as I was going by----But some little propositions Mrs. _Flippanta_ has been starting have kept me here to offer your ladyship my humble service.

_Clar._ What propositions?

_Brass._ She'll acquaint you, madam.

_Aram._ Is there any thing new, _Flippanta_?

_Flip._ Yes, and pretty too.

_Clar._ That follows of course, but let's have it quick.

_Flip._ Why, Madam, you have made a conquest.

_Clar._ Hussy----But of who? quick.

_Flip._ Of Mr. _Money-trap_, that's all.

_Aram._ My husband?

_Flip._ Yes, your husband, Madam: You thought fit to corrupt ours, so now we are even with you.

_Aram._ Sure thou art in jest, _Flippanta_.

_Flip._ Serious as my devotions.

_Brass._ And the cross intrigue, ladies, is what our brains have been at work about.

_Aram._ My dear!

[_To ~Clarissa~._

_Clar._ My life!

_Aram._ My angel!

_Clar._ My soul!

[_Hugging one another._

_Aram._ The stars have done this.

_Clar._ The pretty little twinklers.

_Flip._ And what will you do for them now?

_Clar._ What grateful creatures ought; shew 'em we don't despise their favours.

_Aram._ But is not this a wager between these two blockheads?

_Clar._ I would not give a shilling to go the winner's halves.

_Aram._ Then 'tis the most fortunate thing that ever cou'd have happen'd.

_Clar._ All your last night's ideas, _Araminta_, were trifles to it.

_Aram._ _Brass_, my dear, will be useful to us.

_Brass._ At your service, Madam.

_Clar._ _Flippanta_ will be necessary, my life!

_Flip._ She waits your commands, Madam.

_Aram._ For my part then, I recommend my husband to thee, _Flippanta_, and make it my earnest request thou won't leave him one half-crown.

_Flip._ I'll do all I can to obey you, Madam.

_Brass._ [_To ~Clarissa~._] If your ladyship wou'd give me the same kind orders for yours.

_Clar._ O----if thou spar'st him, _Brass_, I'm thy enemy till I die.

_Brass._ 'Tis enough, Madam, I'll be sure to give you a reasonable account of him. But how do you intend we shall proceed, ladies? Must we storm the purse at once, or break ground in form, and carry it by little and little?

_Clar._ Storm, dear _Brass_, storm: ever whilst you live, storm.

_Aram._ O by all means; must it not be so, _Flippanta_?

_Flip._ In four and twenty hours, two hundred pounds a-piece, that's my sentence.

_Brass._ Very well. But, ladies, you'll give me leave to put you in mind of some little expence in favours, 'twill be necessary you are at, to these honest gentlemen.

_Aram._ Favours, _Brass_!

_Brass._ Um----a----some small matters, Madam, I doubt must be.

_Clar._ Now that's a vile article, _Araminta_; for that thing your husband is so like mine----

_Flip._ Phu, there's a scruple, indeed. Pray, Madam, don't be so squeamish; tho' the meat be a little flat, we'll find you savoury sauce to it.

_Clar._ This wench is so mad.

_Flip._ Why, what in the name of _Lucifer_, is it you have to do, that's so terrible?

_Brass._ A civil look only.

_Aram._ There's no great harm in that.

_Flip._ An obliging word.

_Clar._ That one may afford 'em.

_Brass._ A little smile, _a propos_.

_Aram._ That's but giving one's self an air.

_Flip._ Receive a little letter, perhaps.

_Clar._ Women of quality do that from fifty odious fellows.

_Brass._ Suffer, may be, a squeeze by the hand.

_Aram._ One's so us'd to that, one does not feel it.

_Flip._ Or if a kiss wou'd do't?

_Clar._ I'd die first.

_Brass._ Indeed, ladies, I doubt 'twill be necessary to--

_Clar._ Get their wretched money without paying so dear for it.

_Flip._ Well, just as you please for that, my ladies: But I suppose you'll play upon the square with your favours, and not pique yourselves upon being one more grateful than another.

_Brass._ And state a fair account of receipts and disbursements.

_Aram._ That I think should be, indeed.

_Clar._ With all my heart, and _Brass_ shall be our book-keeper. So get thee to work, man, as fast as thou canst: but not a word of all this to my master.

_Brass._ I'll observe my orders, Madam.

[_Exit ~Brass~._

_Clar._ I'll have the pleasure of telling him myself; he'll be violently delighted with it: 'tis the best man in the world, _Araminta_; he'll bring us rare company to-morrow, all sorts of gamesters; and thou shalt see my husband will be such a beast to be out of humour at it.

_Aram._ The monster----But hush, here's my dear approaching; pr'ythee let's leave him to _Flippanta_.

_Flip._ Ah, pray do, I'll bring you a good account of him, I'll warrant you.

_Clar._ Dispatch then, for the basset-table's in haste.

[_Exit ~Clar.~ and ~Aram.~_

_~Flippanta~ sola._

So, now have at him; here he comes: We'll try if we can pillage the usurer, as he does other folks.

_Enter ~Money-trap~._

_Mon._ Well, my pretty _Flippanta_, is thy mistress come home?

_Flip._ Yes, Sir.

_Mon._ And where is she, pr'ythee?

_Flip._ Gone abroad, Sir.

_Mon._ How dost mean?

_Flip._ I mean right, Sir; my lady'll come home and go abroad ten times in an hour, when she's either in very good humour, or very bad.

_Mon._ Good lack! But I'll warrant, in general, 'tis her naughty husband that makes her house uneasy to her. But hast thou said a little something to her, chicken, for an expiring lover? ha!

_Flip._ Said----yes, I have said, much good may it do me.

_Mon._ Well! and how?

_Flip._ And how!----And how do you think you would have me do't? And you have such a way with you, one can refuse you nothing. But I have brought myself into a fine business by it.

_Mon._ Good lack:----But, I hope, _Flippanta_--

_Flip._ Yes, your hopes will do much, when I am turn'd out of doors.

_Mon._ Was she then terrible angry?

_Flip._ Oh! had you seen how she flew, when she saw where I was pointing; for you must know I went round the bush and round the bush, before I came to the matter.

_Mon._ Nay, 'tis a ticklish point, that must be own'd.

_Flip._ On my word is it----I mean where a lady's truly virtuous; for that's our case you must know.

_Mon._ A very dangerous case indeed.

_Flip._ But I can tell you one thing----she has an inclination to you.

_Mon._ Is it possible!

_Flip._ Yes, and I told her so at last.

_Mon._ Well, and what did she answer thee?

_Flip._ Slap----and bid me bring it you for a token.

[_Giving him a slap on the face._

_Mon._ And you have lost none on't by the way, with a pox t'ye.

[_Aside._

_Flip._ Now this, I think, looks the best in the world.

_Mon._ Yea, but really it feels a little oddly.

_Flip._ Why, you must know, ladies have different ways of expressing their kindness, according to the humour they are in: if she had been in a good one, it had been a kiss; but as long as she sent you something, your affairs go well.

_Mon._ Why, truly, I am a little ignorant in the mysterious parts of love, so I must be guided by thee. But pr'ythee take her in a good humour next token she sends me.

_Flip._ Ah----good humour?

_Mon._ What's the matter?

_Flip._ Poor lady!

_Man._ Ha!

_Flip._ If I durst tell you all----

_Mon._ What then?

_Flip._ You would not expect to see her in one a good while.

_Mon._ Why, I pray?

_Flip._ I must own I did take an unseasonable time to talk of love-matters to her.

_Mon._ Why, what's the matter?

_Flip._ Nothing.

_Mon._ Nay, pr'ythee tell me.

_Flip._ I dare not.

_Mon._ You must indeed.

_Flip._ Why, when women are in difficulties, how can they think of pleasure?

_Mon._ Why, what difficulties can she be in?

_Flip._ Nay, I do but guess after all; for she has that grandeur of soul, she'd die before she'd tell.

_Mon._ But what dost thou suspect?

_Flip._ Why, what should one suspect, where a husband loves nothing but getting of money, and a wife nothing but spending on't?

_Mon._ So she wants that same, then?

_Flip._ I say no such thing, I know nothing of the matter; pray make no wrong interpretation of what I say, my Lady wants nothing that I know of. 'Tis true----she has had ill luck at cards of late, I believe she has not won once this month: but what of that?

_Mon._ Ha!

_Flip._ 'Tis true, I know her spirit's that she'd see her husband hanged before she'd ask him for a farthing.

_Mon._ Ha!

_Flip._ And then I know him again, he'd see her drown'd before he'd give her a farthing; but that's a help to your affair, you know.

_Mon._ 'Tis so, indeed.

_Flip._ Ah----well, I'll say nothing; but if she had none of these things to fret her----

_Mon._ Why really, _Flippanta_----

_Flip._ I know what you are going to say now; you are going to offer your service, but 'twon't do; you have a mind to play the gallant now, but it must not be; you want to be shewing your liberality, but 'twon't be allowed; you'll be pressing me to offer it, and she'll be in a rage. We shall have the Devil to do.

_Mon._ You mistake me, _Flippanta_, I was only going to say----

_Flip._ Ay, I know what you were going to say well enough; but I tell you it will never do so. If one cou'd find out some way now----ay----let me see----

_Mon._ Indeed I hope----

_Flip._ Pray be quiet----no----but I'm thinking----hum----she'll smoke that tho'----let us consider--If one you'd find a way to----'Tis the nicest point in the world to bring about, she'll never touch it, if she knows from whence it comes.

_Mon._ Shall I try if I can reason her husband out of twenty pounds, to make her easy the rest of her life?

_Flip._ Twenty pounds, man?----why you shall see her set that upon a card. O----she has a great soul.----Besides, if her husband should oblige her, it might, in time, take off her aversion to him, and by consequence, her inclination to you. No, no, it must never come that way.

_Mon._ What shall we do then?

_Flip._ Hold still----I have it. I'll tell you what you shall do.

_Mon._ Ay.

_Flip._ You shall make her a restitution of two hundred pounds.

_Mon._ Ha! Restitution!

_Flip._ Yes, yes, 'tis the luckiest thought in the world; Madam often plays, you know, and folks who do so, meet now and then with sharpers. Now you shall be a sharper.

_Mon._ A sharper!

_Flip._ Ay, ay, a sharper; and having cheated her of two hundred pounds, shall be troubled in mind, and send it her back again. You comprehend me?

_Mon._ Yes, I comprehend, but a----won't she suspect if it be so much?

_Flip._ No, no, the more the better.

_Mon._ Two hundred pounds!

_Flip._ Yes, two hundred pounds----Or let me see----so even a sum may look a little suspicious----ay----let it be two hundred and thirty; that odd thirty will make it look so natural, the devil won't find it out.

_Mon._ Ha!

_Flip._ Pounds, too, look I don't know how; guineas I fancy were better----ay, guineas, it shall be guineas. You are of that mind, are you not?

_Mon._ Um----a guinea, you know, _Flippanta_, is--

_Flip._ A thousand times genteeler, you are certainly in the right on't; it shall be as you say, two hundred and thirty guineas.

_Mon._ Ho----well, if it must be guineas, let's see, two hundred guineas.

_Flip._ And thirty; two hundred and thirty: If you mistake the sum, you spoil all. So go put them in a purse, while it's fresh in your head, and send 'em to me with a penitential letter, desiring I'll do you the favour to restore them to her.

_Mon._ Two hundred and thirty pounds in a bag!

_Flip._ Guineas, I say, guineas.

_Mon._ Ay, guineas, that's true. But _Flippanta_, if she don't know they come from me, then I give my money for nothing, you know.

_Flip._ Phu, leave that to me, I'll manage the flock for you; I'll make it produce something I'll warrant you.

_Mon._ Well, _Flippanta_, 'tis a great sum indeed; but I'll go try what I can do for her. You say, two hundred guineas in a purse?

_Flip._ And thirty; if the man's in his senses.

_Mon._ And thirty, 'tis true, I always forget that thirty.

[_Exit ~Money-trap~._

_Flip._ So, get thee gone, thou art a rare fellow, i'faith. Brass!----it's thee, is't not?

_Enter ~Brass~._

_Brass._ It is, Huswife. How go matters? I staid till thy gentleman was gone. Hast done any thing towards our common purse?

_Flip._ I think I have; he's going to make us a restitution of two or three hundred pounds.

_Brass._ A restitution!----good.

_Flip._ A new way, sirrah, to make a lady take a present without putting her to the blush.

_Brass._ 'Tis very well, mighty well indeed. Pr'ythee where's thy master? let me try if I can perswade him to be troubled in mind too.

_Flip._ Not so hasty; he's gone into his closet to prepare himself for a quarrel, I have advis'd him to----with his wife.

_Brass._ What to do?

_Flip._ Why to make her stay at home, now she has resolved to do it beforehand. You must know, sirrah, we intend to make a merit of our basset table, and get a good pretence for the merry companions we intend to fill his house with.

_Brass._ Very nicely spun, truly, thy husband will be a happy man.

_Flip._ Hold your tongue, you fool you. See here comes your master.

_Brass._ He's welcome.

_Enter ~Dick~._

_Dick._ My dear _Flippanta_! how many thanks have I to pay thee?

_Flip._ Do you like her style?

_Dick._ The kindest little rogue! there's nothing but she gives me leave to hope. I am the happiest man the world has in its care.

_Flip._ Not so happy as you think for neither, perhaps; you have a rival, Sir, I can tell you that.

_Dick._ A rival!

_Flip._ Yes, and a dangerous one too.

_Dick._ Who in the name of terror?

_Flip._ A devilish fellow, one Mr. _Amlet_.

_Dick._ _Amlet_! I know no such man.

_Flip._ You know the man's mother tho'; you met her here, and are in her favour, I can tell you. If he worst you, in your mistress, you shall e'en marry her and disinherit him.

_Dick._ If I have no other rival but Mr. _Amlet_, I believe I shan't be disturb'd in my amour. But can't I see _Corinna_?

_Flip._ I don't know, she has always some of her masters with her: but I'll go and see if she can spare you a moment, and bring you word.

[_Exit ~Flippanta~._

_Dick._ I wish my old hobbling mother han't been blabbing something here she should not do.

_Brass._ Fear nothing, all's safe on that side yet. But, how speaks young mistress's epistle? soft and tender?

_Dick._ As pen can write.

_Brass._ So you think all goes well there?

_Dick._ As my heart can wish.

_Brass._ You are sure on't?

_Dick._ Sure on't!

_Brass._ Why then, ceremony aside, [_Putting on his hat._] You and I must have a little talk, Mr. _Amlet_.

_Dick._ Ah, _Brass_, what art thou going to do? Wou't ruin me?

_Brass._ Look you, _Dick_, few words; you are in a smooth way of making your fortune. I hope all will roll on. But how do you intend matters shall pass 'twixt you and me in this business?

_Dick._ Death and Furies! What a time dost take to talk on't?

_Brass._ Good words, or I betray you; they have already heard of one Mr. _Amlet_ in the house.

_Dick._ Here's a son of a whore!

[_Aside._

_Brass._ In short, look smooth, and be a good prince: I am your valet, 'tis true: your footman sometimes, which I'm enrag'd at; but you have always had the ascendant, I confess: when we were school-fellows, you made me carry your books, make your exercise, own your rogueries, and sometimes take a whipping for you. When we were fellow-prentices, tho' I was your senior, you made me open the shop, clean my master's shoes, cut last at dinner, and eat all the crust. In our sins too, I must own you still kept me under; you soar'd up to adultery with our mistress, while I was at humble fornication with the maid. Nay, in our punishments you still made good your post: for when once upon a time I was sentenced but to be whipp'd, I cannot deny but you were condemn'd to be hang'd. So that in all times, I must confess, your inclinations have been greater and nobler than mine; however, I cannot consent that you shou'd at once fix fortune for life, and I dwell in my humilities for the rest of my days.

_Dick._ Hark thee, _Brass_, if I do not most nobly by thee, I'm a dog.

_Brass._ And when?

_Dick._ As soon as ever I am married.

_Brass._ Ah, the pox take thee.

_Dick._ Then you mistrust me?

_Brass._ I do by my faith. Look you, Sir, some folks we mistrust, because we don't know them; others we mistrust, because we do know them: and for one of these reasons I desire there may be a bargain beforehand: If not [_Raising his voice._] look ye _Dick Amlet_----

_Dick._ Soft, my dear friend and companion. The dog will ruin me. [_Aside._] Say, what is't will content thee?

_Brass._ O ho!

_Dick._ But how canst thou be such a barbarian?

_Brass._ I learnt it at _Algiers_.

_Dick._ Come, make thy _Turkish_ demand then.

_Brass._ You know you gave me a bank-bill this morning to receive for you.

_Dick._ I did so, of fifty pounds, 'tis thine. So, now thou are satisfy'd, all's fix'd.

_Brass._ It is not indeed. There's a diamond necklace you robb'd your mother of ev'n now.

_Dick._ Ah, you _Jew_.

_Brass._ No words.

_Dick._ My dear _Brass_!

_Brass._ I insist.

_Dick._ My old friend.

_Brass._ _Dick Amlet_ [_Raising his voice._] I insist.

_Dick._ Ah the Cormorant----Well, 'tis thine: but thou'lt never thrive with it.

_Brass._ When I find it begins to do me mischief, I'll give it you again. But I must have a wedding-suit.

_Dick._ Well.

_Brass._ Some good lace.

_Dick._ Thou shalt.

_Brass._ A stock of linen.

_Dick._ Enough.

_Brass._ Not yet----a silver sword.

_Dick._ Well, thou shalt have that too. Now thou hast every thing.

_Brass._ God forgive me, I forgot a ring of remembrance; I wou'd not forget all these favours for the world: a sparkling diamond I will be always playing in my eye, and put me in mind of them.

_Dick._ This unconscionable rogue! [_Aside._] Well, I'll bespeak one for thee.

_Brass._ Brilliant.

_Dick._ It shall. But if the thing don't succeed after all?----

_Brass._ I'm a man of honour, and restore: and so the treaty being finish'd, I strike my flag of defiance, and fall into my respects again.

[_Taking off his hat._

_Enter ~Flippanta~._

_Flip._ I have made you wait a little, but I cou'd not help it, her master is but just gone. He has been shewing her Prince _Eugene_'s march into _Italy_.

_Dick._ Pr'ythee let me come to her, I'll shew her a part of the world he has never shewn her yet.

_Flip._ So I told her, you must know; and she said, she cou'd like to travel in good company: so if you'll slip up those back-stairs, you shall try if you can agree upon the journey.

_Dick._ My dear _Flippanta_!

_Flip._ None of your dear acknowledgments, I beseech you, but up stairs as hard as you can drive.

_Dick._ I'm gone.

[_Exit ~Dick~._

_Flip._ And do you follow him _Jack-a-dandy_, and see he is not surpriz'd.

_Brass._ I thought that was your post, Mrs. _Useful_: But if you'll come and keep me in humour, I don't care if I share the duty with you.

_Flip._ No words, sirrah, but follow him, I have somewhat else to do.

_Brass._ The jade's so absolute there's no contesting with her. One kiss tho' to keep the centinel warm. [_Gives her a long kiss._]----So.

[_Exit ~Brass~._

_~Flippanta~ sola._

----A nasty rogue [_Wiping her mouth._] But, let me see what have I to do now? This _restitution_ will be here quickly, I suppose; in the mean time I'll go know if my lady's ready for the quarrel yet. Master yonder is so full on't, he's ready to burst; but we'll give him vent by and by with a witness.

[_Exit ~Flip~._

+ACT+ IV.

+SCENE+, Gripe's _House_.

_Enter ~Corinna~, ~Dick~, and ~Brass~._

_Brass._ Don't fear, I'll give you timely notice.

[_Goes to the door._

_Dick._ Come, you must consent, you shall consent. How can you leave me thus upon the rack? a man who loves you to that excess that I do.

_Cor._ Nay, that you love me, Sir, that I'm satisfy'd in, for you have sworn you do: And I'm so pleas'd with it, I'd fain have you do so as long as you live, so we must never marry.

_Dick._ Not marry, my dear! why what's our love good for if we don't marry!

_Cor._ Ah----I'm afraid 'twill be good for little if we do.

_Dick._ Why do you think so?

_Cor._ Because I hear my father and mother, and my uncle and aunt, and _Araminta_ and her husband, and twenty other married folks, say so from morning to night.

_Dick._ Oh, that's because they are bad husbands and bad wives; but in our case there will be a good husband and a good wife, and so we shall love for ever.

_Cor._ Why there may be something in that truly; and I'm always willing to hear reason, as a reasonable young woman ought to do. But are you sure, Sir, tho' we are very good now, we shall be so when we come to be better acquainted?

_Dick._ I can answer for myself, at least.

_Cor._ I wish you cou'd answer for me too. You see I am a plain-dealer, Sir, I hope you don't like me the worse for it.

_Dick._ O, by no means, 'tis a sign of admirable morals; and I hope, since you practise it yourself, you'll approve of it in your lover. In one word, therefore, (for 'tis in vain to mince the matter) my resolution's fix'd, and the world can't stagger me, I marry----or I die.

_Cor._ Indeed, Sir, I have much ado to believe you; the disease of love is seldom so violent.

_Dick._ Madam, I have two diseases to end my miseries; If the first don't do't, the latter shall; [_Drawing his sword._] one's in my heart, t'other's in my scabbard.

_Cor._ Not for a diadem, [_Catching hold of him._] Ah, put it up, put it up.

_Dick._ How absolute is your command! [_Dropping his sword._] A word, you see, disarms me.

_Cor._ What a power I have over him! [_Aside._] The wondrous deeds of love!----Pray, Sir, let me have no more of these rash doings tho'; perhaps I mayn't be always in the saving humour----I'm sure if I had let him stick himself, I should have been envy'd by all the great ladies in the town.

[_Aside._

_Dick._ Well, madam, have I then your promise? you'll make me the happiest of mankind.

_Cor._ I don't know what to say to you; but I believe I had as good promise, for I find I shall certainly do't.

_Dick._ Then let us seal the contract thus.

[_Kisses her._

_Cor._ Um----he has almost taken away my breath: He kisses purely.

[_Aside._

_Dick._ Hark----somebody comes.

[_~Brass~ peeping in._

_Brass._ Gar there, the enemy----no, hold y'are safe, 'tis _Flippanta_.

_Enter ~Flippanta~._

_Flip._ Come, have you agreed the matter? If not, you must end it another time, for your father's in motion, so pray kiss and part.

_Cor._ That's sweet and sour. [_They kiss._] Adieu t'ye, Sir.

[_Exit ~Dick~ and ~Cor~._

_Enter ~Clarissa~._

_Clar._ Have you told him I'm at home, _Flippanta_?

_Flip._ Yes, Madam.

_Clar._ And that I'll see him?

_Flip._ Yes, that too: But here's news for you; I have just now receiv'd the restitution.

_Clar._ That's killing pleasure: and how much has he restor'd me?

_Flip._ Two hundred and thirty.

_Clar._ Wretched rogue! but retreat, your Master's coming to quarrel.

_Flip._ I'll be within call, if things run high.

[_Ex. ~Flip~._

_Enter ~Gripe~._

_Gripe._ O ho!----are you there, i'faith? Madam, your humble servant, I'm very glad to see you at home. I thought I should never have had that honour again.

_Clar._ Good-morrow, my dear, how d'ye do? _Flippanta_ says you are out of humour, and that you have a mind to quarrel with me: Is it true? ha!----I have a terrible pain in my head, I give you notice on't beforehand.

_Gripe._ And how the pox shou'd it be otherwise? It's a wonder you are not dead [_~as a' wou'd you were~, Aside._] with the life you lead. Are you not ashamed? And do you not blush to----

_Clar._ My dear child, you crack my brain; soften the harshness of your voice: say what thou wou't, but let it be in an agreeable tone----

_Gripe._ Tone, Madam, don't tell me of a tone----

_Clar._ O----if you will quarrel, do it with temperance; let it be all in cool blood, even and smooth, as if you were not moved with what you said; and then I'll hear you as if I were not mov'd with it neither.

_Gripe._ Had ever man such need of patience? Madam, Madam, I must tell you, Madam----

_Clar._ Another key, or I'll walk off.

_Gripe._ Don't provoke me.

_Clar._ Shall you be long, my dear, in your remonstrances?

_Gripe._ Yes, Madam, and very long.

_Clar._ If you would quarrel _en abrêgé_, I shou'd have a world of obligation to you.

_Gripe._ What I have to say, forsooth, is not to be expressed _en abrêgé_, my complaints are too numerous.

_Clar._ Complaints! of what my dear? have I ever given you subject of complaint, my life?

_Gripe._ O Pox! my dear and my life! I desire none of your _tendres_.

_Clar._ How! find fault with my kindness, and my expressions of affection and respect! the world will guess by this what the rest of your complaints may be. I must tell you, I am scandaliz'd at your procedure.

_Gripe._ I must tell you I am running mad with yours.

_Clar._ Ah! how insupportable are the humours of some husbands, so full of fancies, and so ungovernable: What have you in the world to disturb you?

_Gripe._ What have I to disturb me! I have you, Death and the Devil.

_Clar._ Ah, merciful heaven! how he swears! You should never accustom yourself to such words as these; indeed, my dear, you shou'd not; your mouth's always full of them.

_Gripe._ Blood and thunder! Madam----

_Clar._ Ah, he'll fetch the house down: Do you know you make me tremble for you? _Flippanta_! who's there? _Flippanta_!

_Gripe._ Here's a provoking devil for you!

_Enter ~Flippanta~._

_Flip._ What in the name of _Jove_'s the matter? you raise the neighbourhood.

_Clar._ Why here's your master in a most violent fuss, and no mortal soul can tell for what.

_Gripe._ Not tell for what!

_Clar._ No, my life. I have begged him to tell me his griefs, _Flippanta_; and then he swears, good Lord! how he does swear.

_Gripe._ Ah, you wicked jade! Ah, you wicked jade!

_Clar._ Do you hear him _Flippanta_! do you hear him!

_Flip._ Pray, Sir, let's know a little what puts you in all this fury?

_Clar._ Pr'ythee stand near me, _Flippanta_, there's an odd froth about his mouth, looks as if his poor head were going wrong, I'm afraid he'll bite.

_Gripe._ The wicked woman, _Flippanta_, the wicked woman.

_Clar._ Can any body wonder I shun my own house, when he treats me at this rate in it?

_Gripe._ At this rate! why in the devil's name----

_Clar._ Do you hear him again?

_Flip._ Come, a little moderation, Sir, and try what that will produce.

_Gripe._ Hang her, 'tis all a pretence to justify her going abroad.

_Clar._ A pretence! a pretence! Do you hear how black a charge he loads me with? Charges me with a pretence? Is this the return for all my downright open actions? You know, my dear, I scorn pretences: Whenever I go abroad, it is without pretence.

_Gripe._ Give me patience.

_Flip._ You have a great deal, Sir.

_Clar._ And yet he's never content, _Flippanta_.

_Gripe._ What shall I do?

_Clar._ What a reasonable man wou'd do; own your self in the wrong, and be quiet. Here's _Flippanta_ has understanding, and I have moderation; I'm willing to make her judge of our differences.

_Flip._ You do me a great deal of honour, Madam: but I tell you beforehand, I shall be a little on Master's side.

_Gripe._ Right, _Flippanta_ has sense. Come, let her decide. Have I not reason to be in a passion? tell me that.

_Clar._ You must tell her for what, my life.

_Gripe._ Why, for the trade you drive, my soul.

_Flip._ Look you, Sir, pray take things right. I know Madam does fret you a little now and then, that's true; but in the fund, she is the softest, sweetest, gentlest lady breathing: let her but live entirely to her own fancy, and she'll never say a word to you from morning to night.

_Gripe._ Oons, let her but stay at home, and she shall do what she will: in reason, that is.

_Flip._ D'ye hear that, Madam? nay, now I must be on master's side; you see how he loves you, he desires only your company, pray give him that satisfaction, or I must pronounce against you.

_Clar._ Well, I agree. Thou know'st I don't love to grieve him: let him be always in good humour, and I'll be always at home.

_Flip._ Look you there, Sir, what would you have more?

_Gripe._ Well, let her keep her word, and I'll have done quarrelling.

_Clar._ I must not, however, so far lose the merit of my consent, as to let you think I'm weary of going abroad, my dear: what I do is purely to oblige you; which, that I may be able to perform, without a relapse, I'll invent what ways I can to make my prison supportable to me.

_Flip._ Her prison! pretty bird! her prison! do'nt that word melt you, Sir?

_Gripe._ I must confess I did not expect to find her so reasonable.

_Flip._ O, Sir, soon or late wives come into good humour: husbands must only have a little patience to wait for it.

_Clar._ The innocent little diversions, dear, that I shall content myself with, will be chiefly play and company.

_Gripe._ O, I'll find you employment, your time shan't lie upon your hands, tho' if you have a mind now for such a companion as a----let me see----_Araminta_ for example, why I shan't be against her being with you from morning till nigh.

_Clar._ You can't oblige me more, 'tis the best woman in the world.

_Gripe._ Is not she?

_Flip._ Ah, the old satyr!

[_Aside._

_Gripe._ Then we'll have, besides her, may be sometimes----her husband; and we shall see my niece that writes verses, and my sister _Fidget_: with her husband's brother that's always merry; and his little cousin that's to marry the fat curate; and my uncle the apothecary, with his wife and all his children. O we shall divert ourselves rarely.

_Flip._ Good.

[_Aside._

_Clar._ O, for that, my dear child, I must be plain with you, I'll see none of them but _Araminta_, who has the manners of the court; for I'll converse with none but women of quality.

_Gripe._ Ay, ay, they shall all have one quality or other.

_Clar._ Then, my dear, to make our home pleasant, we'll have consorts of music sometimes.

_Gripe._ Music in my house!

_Clar._ Yes, my child, we must have music or the house will be so dull I shall get the spleen, and be going abroad again.

_Flip._ Nay, she has so much complaisance for you, Sir, you can't dispute such things with her.

_Gripe._ Ay, but if I have music----

_Clar._ Ay, but Sir, I must have music----

_Flip._ Not every day, Madam don't mean.

_Clar._ No, bless me, no; but three consorts a week: three days more we'll play after dinner at _Ombre_, _Picquet_, _Basset_, and so forth, and close the evening with a handsome supper and a ball.

_Gripe._ A ball!

_Clar._ Then, my love, you know there is but one day more upon our hands, and that shall be the day of conversation, we'll read verses, talk of books, invent modes, tell lyes, scandalize our friends, be pert upon religion; and in short, employ every moment of it in some pretty witty exercise or other.

_Flip._ What order you see 'tis she proposes to live in! A most wonderful regularity!

_Gripe._ Regularity with a pox----

[_Aside._

_Clar._ And as this kind of life, so soft, so smooth, so agreeable, must needs invite a vast deal of company to partake of it, 'twill be necessary to have the decency of a porter at our door, you know.

_Gripe._ A porter----A scrivener have a porter, Madam!

_Clar._ Positively a porter.

_Gripe._ Why no scrivener since _Adam_ ever had a porter, woman!

_Clar._ You will therefore be renown'd in story, for having the first, my life.

_Gripe._ _Flippanta_.

_Flip._ Hang it, Sir, never dispute a trifle; if you vex her, perhaps she'll insist upon a Swiss.

[_Aside to ~Gripe~._

_Gripe._ But, Madam----

_Clar._ But, Sir, a porter, positively a porter; without that the treaty's null, and I go abroad this moment.

_Flip._ Come, Sir, never lose so advantageous a peace for a pitiful porter.

_Gripe._ Why, I shall be hooted at, the boys will throw stones at my porter. Besides, where shall I have money for all this expence?

_Clar._ My dear, who asks you for any? Don't be in a fright, chicken.

_Gripe._ Don't be in a fright, Madam! But where I say----

_Flip._ Madam plays, Sir, think on that; women that play have inexhaustible mines, and wives who receive least money from their husbands, are many times those who spend the most.

_Clar._ So, my dear, let what _Flippanta_ says content you. Go, my life, trouble yourself with nothing, but let me do just as I please, and all will be well. I'm going into my closet, to consider of some more things to enable me to give you the pleasure of my company at home, without making it too great a misery to a yielding wife.

[_Exit ~Clarissa~._

_Flip._ Mirror of goodness! Pattern to all wives! well sure, Sir, you are the happiest of all husbands.

_Gripe._ Yes----and a miserable dog for all that too, perhaps.

_Flip._ Why, what can you ask more, than this matchless complaisance?

_Gripe._ I don't know what I can ask, and yet I'm not satisfy'd with what I have neither, the devil mixes in it all, I think; complaisant or perverse, it feels just as it did.

_Flip._ Why then your uneasiness is only a disease, Sir, perhaps a little bleeding and purging wou'd relieve you.

_Clar._ _Flippanta_?

[_~Clarissa~ calls within._

_Flip._ Madam calls. I come, Madam. Come, be merry, be merry, Sir, you have cause, take my word for't. Poor devil.

[_Aside._]

[_Exit ~Flippanta~._

_Gripe._ I don't know that, I don't know that: But this I do know, that an honest man, who has marry'd a jade, whether she's pleas'd to spend her time at home or abroad, had better have liv'd a batchelor.

_Enter ~Brass~._

_Brass._ O, Sir, I'm mighty glad I have found you.

_Gripe._ Why, what's the matter, pr'ythee?

_Brass._ Can no body hear us?

_Gripe._ No, no, speak quickly.

_Brass._ You han't seen _Araminta_, since the last letter I carry'd her from you?

_Gripe._ Not I, I go prudently; I don't press things like your young firebrand lovers.

_Brass._ But seriously, Sir, are you very much in love with her?

_Gripe._ As mortal man has been.

_Brass._ I'm sorry for't.

_Gripe._ Why so, dear _Brass_?

_Brass._ If you were never to see her more now? Suppose such a thing, d'ye think 'twou'd break your heart?

_Gripe._ Oh!

_Brass._ Nay, now I see you love her; wou'd you did not.

_Gripe._ My dear friend.

_Brass._ I'm in your interest deep: you see it.

_Gripe._ I do: but speak, what miserable story hast thou for me?

_Brass._ I had rather the devil had, phu----flown away with you quick, than to see you so much in love, as I perceive you are, since----

_Gripe._ Since what?----ho.

_Brass._ _Araminta_, Sir.

_Gripe._ Dead?

_Brass._ No.

_Gripe._ How then?

_Brass._ Worse.

_Gripe._ Out with't.

_Brass._ Broke.

_Gripe._ Broke!

_Brass._ She is, poor lady, in a most unfortunate situation of affairs. But I have said too much.

_Gripe._ No, no, 'tis very sad, but let's hear it.