Chapter XIII: Act IV (1)

_Scene, the Inn door; Diligence drawn up._—CASIMERE _appears
superintending the package of his portmanteaus, and giving
directions to the_ PORTERS.

_Enter_ BEEFINGTON _and_ PUDDINGFIELD.

PUDD. Well, Coachey, have you got two inside places?

COACH. Yes, your Honour.

PUDD. [_seems to be struck with_ CASIMERE’S _appearance. He surveys him earnestly without paying any attention to the_ COACHMAN, _then doubtingly pronounces_] Casimere!

CAS. [_turning round rapidly, recognizes_ PUDDINGFIELD, _and embraces him._] My Puddingfield!

PUDD. My Casimere!

CAS. What, Beefington too! [_discovering him_]—then is my joy complete.

BEEF. Our fellow-traveller, as it seems!

CAS. Yes, Beefington—but wherefore to Hamburgh?

BEEF. Oh, Casimere[279]—to fly—to fly—to return—England—our country—Magna Charta—it is liberated—a new æra—House of Commons—Crown and Anchor—Opposition—

CAS. What a contrast! you are flying to liberty and your home—I, driven from my home by tyranny, and exposed to domestic slavery in a foreign country.

BEEF. How domestic slavery?

CAS. Too true—two wives—[_slowly, and with a dejected air—then after a pause_]—you knew my Cecilia?

PUDD. Yes, five years ago.

CAS. Soon after that period I went upon a visit to a lady in Wetteravia—my Matilda was under her protection. Alighting at a peasant’s cabin, I saw her on a charitable visit, spreading bread-and-butter for the children, in a light-blue riding-habit. The simplicity of her appearance—the fineness of the weather—all conspired to interest me—my heart moved to hers—as if by magnetic sympathy. We wept, embraced, and went home together: she became the mother of my Pantalowsky. But five years of enjoyment have not stifled the reproaches of my conscience—her Rogero is languishing in captivity—if I could restore her to _him_!

BEEF. Let us rescue him.

CAS. Will without power[280] is like children playing at soldiers.

BEEF. Courage without power[281] is like a consumptive running footman.

CAS. Courage without power is a contradiction.[282] Ten brave men might set all Quedlinburgh at defiance.

BEEF. Ten brave men—but where are they to be found?

CAS. I will tell you—marked you the waiter?

BEEF. The waiter?

[_doubtingly._

CAS. [_in a confidential tone_]. No waiter, but a _Knight Templar_. Returning from the Crusade, he found his Order dissolved, and his person proscribed. He dissembled his rank, and embraced the profession of a waiter. I have made sure of him already. There are, besides, an Austrian, and a Prussian grenadier. I have made them abjure their national enmity, and they have sworn to fight henceforth in the cause of freedom. These with young Pottingen, the waiter, and ourselves, make seven—the Troubadour, with his two attendant minstrels, will complete the ten.

BEEF. Now then for the execution.

[_With enthusiasm._

PUDD. Yes, my boys—for the execution.

[_Clapping them on the back._

WAITER. But hist! we are observed.

TROU. Let us by a song conceal our purposes.

RECITATIVE ACCOMPANIED.[283]

CAS. Hist! hist! nor let the airs that blow
From night’s cold lungs our purpose know!

PUDD. Let Silence, mother of the dumb,

BEEF. Press on each lip her palsied thumb!

WAIT. Let Privacy, allied to sin,
That loves to haunt the tranquil inn—

GREN. } And Conscience start, when she shall view
THOU. } The mighty deed we mean to do!

GENERAL CHORUS—_Con spirito._

Then friendship swear, ye faithful bands,
Swear to save a shackled hero!
See where yon abbey frowning stands!
Rescue, rescue, brave Rogero!

CAS. Thrall’d in a monkish tyrant’s fetters
Shall great Rogero hopeless lie?

Y. POT. In my pocket I have letters,
Saying, “Help me, or I die!”

_Allegro Allegretto._

CAS. BEEF. PUDD. GREN. TROU. } Let us fly, let us fly, WAITER, AND POT. _with enthusiasm_. } Let us help, ere he die!

[_Exeunt omnes, waving their hats._

_Scene, the Abbey Gate, with Ditches, Drawbridges, and Spikes;
Time, about an hour before Sunrise.—The conspirators appear as
if in ambuscade, whispering and consulting together, in
expectation of the signal for attack.—The_ WAITER _is habited as
a Knight Templar, in the dress of his Order, with the Cross on
his breast, and the scallop on his shoulder._—PUDDINGFIELD _and_
BEEFINGTON _armed with blunderbusses and pocket-pistols; the_
GRENADIERS _in their proper uniforms.—The_ TROUBADOUR _with his
attendant minstrels bring up the rear; martial music: the
conspirators come forward, and present themselves before the
Gate of the Abbey.—Alarum; firing of pistols; the Convent appear
in Arms upon the Walls; the Drawbridge is let down; a body of
choristers and lay-brothers attempt a sally, but are beaten
back, and the Verger killed.—The besieged attempt to raise the
Drawbridge_; PUDDINGFIELD _and_ BEEFINGTON _press forward with
alacrity, throw themselves upon the Drawbridge, and by the
exertion of their weight preserve it in a state of depression;
the other besiegers join them, and attempt to force the
entrance, but without effect._—PUDDINGFIELD _makes the signal
for the battering-ram.—Enter_ QUINTUS CURTIUS _and_ MARCUS
CURIUS DENTATUS _in their military habits, preceded by the Roman
Eagle; the rest of their Legion are employed in bringing forward
a battering-ram, which plays for a few minutes to slow time,
till the entrance is forced.—After a short resistance, the
besiegers rush in with shouts of Victory._

_Scene changes to the interior of the Abbey.—The inhabitants of the
Convent are seen flying in all directions._

_The_ COUNT OF WEIMAR _and the_ PRIOR, _who had been found feasting in
the Refectory, are brought in manacled. The_ COUNT _appears
transported with rage, and gnaws his chains.—The_ PRIOR _remains
insensible, as if stupefied with grief._—BEEFINGTON _takes the keys
of the Dungeon, which are hanging at the_ PRIOR’S _girdle, and makes
a sign for them both to be led away into confinement.—Exeunt_ PRIOR
_and_ COUNT, _properly guarded.—The rest of the conspirators
disperse in search of the Dungeon where_ ROGERO _is confined._

END OF ACT THE FOURTH.

No. XXXII.

June 18, 1798.

We are indebted for the following imitation of CATULLUS to a literary correspondent. Whether it will remove the doubts we formerly expressed, of CITIZEN MUSKEIN’S acquaintance with the classics, from the minds of our readers, we cannot pretend to say. It is given to us as a faithful translation from the French—as such, we present it to our readers; premising only, that though the _Citizen Imitator_ seems to have _Sans-culottized_ the original in two or three places, yet he everywhere expresses himself with a _naïveté_ and truth in his verse that we seek for in vain in many of his countrymen who have recorded their victories and defeats in very vulgar prose.

AN AFFECTIONATE EFFUSION OF CITIZEN MUSKEIN TO HAVRE-DE-GRACE.

Fairest of cities,[284] which the Seine
Surveys ’twixt Paris and the main,
Sweet HAVRE! sweetest HAVRE, hail!
How gladly with my tatter’d sail,[285]
Yet trembling from this wild adventure,
Do I thy friendly harbour enter!

Well—now I’ve leisure, let me see
What boats are left me; one, two, three—
Bravo! the better half remain;
And all my heroes are not slain.
And if my senses don’t deceive,
I too am safe,[286]—yes, I believe,
Without a wound I reach thy shore
(For I have felt myself all o’er);
I’ve all my limbs, and, be it spoken
With honest triumph, no bone broken.

How pleasing is the sweet transition[287]
From this vile Gun-boat Expedition;
From winds and waves, and wounds and scars,
From British soldiers, British tars,
To his own house, where, free from danger,
MUSKEIN may live at rack and manger;
May stretch his limbs in his own cot,[288]
Thankful he has not gone to pot;
Nor for the bubble Glory strive,
But bless himself that he’s alive!

HAVRE,[289] sweet Havre! hail again,
O! bid thy sons (a frolic train,[290]
Who under CHÉNIER welcomed in,
With dance and song, the _Guillotine_).
In long procession seek the strand;
For MUSKEIN now prepares to land,
’Scaped, Heav’n knows how, from that cursed crew
That haunt the rocks of SAINT MARCOU.

[TO THE PENINSULA OF SIRMIO.
UPON THE RETURN OF THE POET TO HIS COUNTRY HOUSE THERE.

_Translated_ from CATULLUS.

Sirmio, of all the shores the gem,
The isles where circling Neptune strays;
Whether the vast and boisterous main
Or lake’s more limpid waves they stem,
How gladly on thy waves I gaze!
How blest to visit thee again!

I scarce believe, while rapt I stand,
That I have left the Thynian fields
And all Bithynia far behind,
And safely view my favourite land.
Oh bliss, when care dispersing yields
To full repose the placid mind!

Then when the mind its load lays down;
When we regain, all hazards past,
And with long ceaseless travel tired,
Our household god again our own;
And press in tranquil sleep at last
The well-known bed so oft desired—

This can alone atonement make
For every toil. Hail, Sirmio sweet!
Be gay, thy lord hath ceased to roam!
Ye laughing waves of Lydia’s lake,
Smile all around! thy master greet
With all thy smiles, my pleasant home!—ED.]

No. XXXIII.[291]

June 25, 1798.

After the splendid account of BUONAPARTE’S successes in the East, which our readers will find in another part of this paper,[292] and which they will peruse with equal wonder and apprehension, it is some consolation to us to have to state, not only from authority, but in verse, that our government has not been behindhand with that of France; but that aware of the wise and enterprising spirit of the enemy, and of the danger which might arise to our distant possessions from the export of learning and learned men being entirely in their hands, ministers have long ago determined on an expedition of a similar nature, and have actually embarked at Portsmouth on board one of the East India Company’s ships taken up for that purpose (the ship _Capricorn_, Mr. Thomas Truman, Commander), several tons of _savans_, the growth of this country. The whole was conducted with the utmost secrecy and dispatch, and it was not till we were favoured with the following copy of a letter (obligingly communicated to us by the Tunisian gentleman to whom it is addressed) that we had any suspicion of the extent and nature of the design, or indeed of any such design being in contemplation.

The several great names which are combined to render this Expedition the most surprising and splendid ever undertaken, could not indeed have been spared from the country to which they are an ornament for any other purpose than one the most obviously connected with the interests of the empire, and the most widely beneficial to mankind.

The secrecy with which they have been withdrawn from the British public, without being so much as missed or enquired after, reflects the highest honour on the planners of the enterprise. Even the celebrity of DOCTOR PARR has not led to any discovery or investigation: the silent admirers of that great man have never once thought of asking what was become of him; till it is now all at once come to light, that he has been for weeks past on shipboard, the brightest star in the bright constellation of talents which stud the quarter-deck of the _Capricorn_, Mr. T. Truman (as before mentioned), Commander.

The resignation of the late worthy President of a certain Agricultural Board[293] might indeed have taught mankind to look for some extraordinary event in the world of science and adventure; and those who had the good fortune to see the deportation from his house, of the several wonderful anomalies which had for years formed its most distinguished inmates,—the stuffed ram, the dried boar, the cow with three horns, and other fanciful productions of a like nature, could not but speculate with some degree of seriousness on the purpose of their removal, and on the place of their destination.

It now appears that there was in truth no light object in view. They were destined, with the rest of the _savans_, on whom this country prides itself (and long may it have reason to indulge the honest exultation), to undertake a voyage of no less grandeur than peril; to counteract the designs of the Directory, and to frustrate or forestal the conquests of Buonaparte.

The young gentleman who writes the following letter to his friend in London is, as may be seen, interpreter to the Expedition. We have understood, further, that he is connected with the young man who writes for the _Morning Chronicle_, and conducts the _Critical, Argumentative_, and _Geographical_ departments. Some say it is the young man himself, who has assumed a feigned name, and, under the disguise of a Turkish dress and circumcision, is gone, at the express instigation of his employers, to improve himself in geographical knowledge. We have our doubts upon this subject, as we think we recognise the style of this deplorable young man in an article of last week’s _Morning Chronicle_, which we have had occasion to answer in a preceding column of our present paper. Be that as it may, the information contained in the following letter may be depended upon.

We cannot take leave of the subject without remarking what a fine contrast and companion the vessel and cargo described in the following poem affords [_sic_] to the “NAVIS STULTIFERA,” the “SHIPPE OF FOOLES” of the celebrated BARCLAY; and we cannot forbear hoping that the _Argenis_ of an author of the same name may furnish a hint for an account of this stupendous Expedition in a learned language, from the only pen which in modern days is capable of writing Latin with a purity and elegance worthy of so exalted a theme, and that the author of a classical _preface_[294] may become the writer of a no less celebrated voyage.

TRANSLATION OF A LETTER,
(IN ORIENTAL CHARACTERS)
FROM BAWBA-DARA-ADUL-PHOOLA,[295]
DRAGOMAN TO THE EXPEDITION,
TO NEEK-AWL-ARETCHID-KOOEZ,
SECRETARY TO THE TUNISIAN EMBASSY.

DEAR NEEK-AWL,

You’ll rejoice, that at length I am able,
To date these few lines from the captain’s own table.
Mr. Truman himself, of his proper suggestion,
Has in favour of science decided the question;
So we walk the main-deck, and are mess’d with the captain,
I leave you to judge of the joys we are wrapt in.

At Spithead they embark’d us, how precious a cargo!
And we sail’d before day to escape the embargo.
There was SHUCKBOROUGH,[296] the wonderful mathematician;
And DARWIN, the poet, the sage, and physician;
There was BEDDOES, and BRUIN, and GODWIN, whose trust is,
He may part with his work on _Political Justice_
To some Iman or Bonze, or Judaical Rabbin;
So with huge quarto volumes he piles up the cabin.
There was great DR. PARR whom we style _Bellendenus_,
The Doctor and I have a hammock between us.
’Tis a little unpleasant thus crowding together,
On account of the motion and heat of the weather;
_Two_ souls in one berth they oblige us to cram,
And Sir John[297] _will_ insist on a place for his ram.
Though the Doctor, I find, is determined to think
’Tis the animal’s hide that occasions the stink;
In spite of th’ experienced opinion of Truman,
Who contends that the scent is exclusively human.
But BEDDOES and DARWIN engage to repair
This slight inconvenience with _oxygen_ air.

Whither bound? (you will ask). ’Tis a question, my friend,
On which I long doubted; my doubt’s at an end.
To Arabia the Stony, Sabæa the gummy,
To the land where each man that you meet is a mummy;
To the mouths of the Nile, to the banks of Araxes,
To the _Red_ and the _Yellow_, the _White_ and the _Black_ seas,
With telescopes, globes, and a quadrant and sextant,
And the works of all authors whose writings are extant;
With surveys and plans, topographical maps,
Theodolites, watches, spring-guns and steel-traps,
Phials, crucibles, air-pumps, electric machinery,
And pencils for painting the natives and scenery.
In short, we are sent to oppose all we know
To the knowledge and mischievous arts of the foe,
Who, though placing in arms a well-grounded reliance,
Go to war with a flying artillery of science.

The French _savans_, it seems, recommended this measure,
With a view to replenish the national treasure.
First, the true _Rights of Man_ they will preach in all places,
But chief (when ’tis found) in the Egyptian Oasis:
And this doctrine, ’tis hoped, in a very few weeks
Will persuade the wild Arabs to murder their cheiks,
And, to aid the _Great Nation’s_ beneficent plans,
Plunder pyramids, catacombs, towns, caravans,
Then enlist under Arcolé’s gallant commander,
Who will conquer the world like his model ISKANDER.
His army each day growing bolder and finer,
With the Turcoman tribes he subdues Asia Minor,
Beats Paul and his Scythians, his journey pursues
Cross the Indus, with tribes of Armenians and Jews,
And Bucharians, and Affghans, and Persians, and Tartars,—
Chokes the wretched Mogul in his grandmother’s garters,
And will hang him to dry in the Luxembourg hall,
’Midst the plunder of Carthage and spoils of Bengal.

Such, we hear, was the plan; but I trust, if we meet ’em,
That _savant_ to _savant_, our cargo will beat ’em.
Our plan of proceeding I’ll presently tell;—
But soft—I am call’d—I must bid you farewell:
To attend on our _savans_ my pen I resign,
For, it seems, that they _duck_ them on _crossing_ the Line.

* * * * *

We deeply regret this interruption of our oriental poet, and the more so, as the prose letters which we have received from a less learned correspondent do not enable us to explain the tactics of our belligerent philosophers so distinctly as we could have wished. It appears, in general, that the learned Doctor who has the honour of sharing the hammock of the amiable oriental, trusted principally to his superior knowledge in the Greek language, by means of which he hoped to entangle his antagonists in inextricable confusion. DR. DARWIN proposed (as might be expected) his celebrated experiment of the Ice-island,[298] which, being towed on the coast of Africa, could not fail of spoiling the climate, and immediately terrifying and embarrassing the sailors of Buonaparte’s fleet, accustomed to the mild temperature and gentle gales of the Mediterranean, and therefore ill qualified to struggle with this new importation of tempests. DR. BEDDOES was satisfied with the project of communicating to Buonaparte a consumption, of the same nature with that which he formerly tried on himself, but superior in virulence, and therefore calculated to make the most rapid and fatal ravages in the hectic constitution of the Gallic hero. The rest of the plan is quite unintelligible, excepting a hint about Sir J. S.’s intention of proceeding with his ram to the celebrated Oasis, and of bringing away, for the convenience of the Bank, the treasures contained in the temple of Jupiter Ammon.

FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE EXTRAORDINARY.[299]

The Priority of Intelligence which has ever distinguished OUR PAPER
will, We trust, receive additional lustre from the extraordinary
News which We now lay before the Public. We received it by a Neutral
Ship, which arrived in the River last night; and feel ourselves much
indebted to the attention of our Correspondent, a Currant Merchant
at _Zanté_, for its early communication. Without arrogating to
ourselves that merit which is (perhaps) justly our due, We think
ourselves justified in asserting that it is not only the earliest,
but, if We are not much mistaken, the only account which will appear
in the Prints of this Day respecting the Successes of BUONAPARTÉ.

COPY OF A LETTER FROM GENERAL BUONAPARTÉ TO THE COMMANDANT AT ZANTÉ.

“_Athens, 18 Prairial._

“CITIZEN GENERAL,

“Victory still attends us. I inclose you a Copy of a Letter which I
have this day written to the Directory. Health and Fraternity.

“BUONAPARTÉ.”

“_Head-Quarters_, Salamis, _18 Prairial_.

“Citizens directors,

“The brave Soldiers, who conferred Liberty on _Rome_, have continued
to deserve well of their Country. _Greece_ has joyfully received her
Deliverers. The Tree of Liberty is planted on the _Piræus_. Thirty
thousand Janizaries, the Slaves of Despotism, had taken possession
of the Isthmus of _Corinth_. Two Demi-brigades opened us a passage.
After ten days’ fighting, we have driven the _Turks_ from the
_Morea_. The _Peloponnesus_ is now free. Every step in my power has
been taken to revive the antient spirit of _Sparta_. The Inhabitants
of that celebrated City, seeing _black broth_ of my Troops, and the
scarcity of specie to which we have been long accustomed, will, I
doubt not, soon acquire the frugal virtues of their Ancestors. As a
proper measure of precaution, I have removed all PITT’S gold from
the Country.

“Off this Island we encountered the Fleet of the SULTAN. The
Mahometan Crescent soon fled before the three-coloured flag. Nine
Sail of the Line are the fruits of this Victory. The CAPTAIN PACHA’S
Ship, a second rate, struck to a National Corvette. My Aide-de-Camp
will present you with the model of a _Trireme_, which was found
among the Archives of _Athens_. Vessels of this description draw so
little water, that our Naval Architects may perhaps think them more
eligible than Rafts, for the conveyance of the _Army of England_.
Liberty will be sufficiently avenged, if the ruins of a Grecian City
furnish us with the means of transporting the Conquerors of _Rome_
to _Britain_.

“On landing at this Island, I participated in a Scene highly
interesting to Humanity. A poor Fisherman, of the family of
THEMISTOCLES, attended by his Wife, a descendant of the virtuous
PHRYNE, fell at my feet. I received him with the Fraternal embrace,
and promised him the protection of the Republic. He invited me to
supper at his Hut, and in gratitude to his Deliverer presented me
with a memorable _Oyster Shell_, inscribed with the Name of his
illustrious Ancestor. As this curious piece of antiquity may be of
service to some of the DIRECTORY, I have inclosed it in my
Dispatches, together with a Marble Tablet, containing the proper
form for pronouncing the Sentence of _Ostracism_ on _Royalist
Athenians_.

“KLÉBER, whom I had ordered to _Constantinople_, informs me that the
Capital of Turkey has proved an easy conquest. _Santa-Sophia_ has
been converted into a Temple of Reason; the _Seraglio_ has been
purified by _Theo-Philanthropists_, and the liberated Circassians
are learning from our Sailors the lessons of Equality and
Fraternity. A Detachment has been sent to Troy, for the purpose pf
organizing the Department of _Mount Ida_. The Tomb of ACHILLES has
been repaired, and the Bust of BRISEIS (which formed part of the
Pedestal) restored to its original state, at the expense of the
Female Citizen BUONAPARTÉ.

“The Division of the Fleet destined for Egypt has anchored in the
Port of _Alexandria_. BERTHIER, who commands this Expedition,
informs me that this Port will soon be restored to its ancient
pre-eminence; and that its celebrated _Pharos_ will soon be fit to
receive the _Reverbères_ which have been sent from the _Rue St.
Honoré_.

“BARAGUAY D’HILLIERS, with the Left Wing of the _Army of Egypt_, has
fixed his Head-quarters at _Jerusalem_. He is charged to restore the
Jews to their ancient Rights. Citizens Jacob Jacobs, Simon Levi, and
Benjamin Solomons, of Amsterdam, have been provisionally appointed
Directors. The Palace of _Pontius Pilate_ is re-building for their
residence. All the vestiges of Superstition in _Palestine_ have been
carefully destroyed.

“I beg you will ratify a grant which I have made of the _Temple of
the Sun_ at _Palmyra_ to a Society of _Illuminati_ from _Bavaria_.
They may be of service in extending our future conquests.

“I have received very satisfactory accounts from DESAIX, who had
been sent by BERTHIER with a Demi-brigade into the interior of
_Africa_. That fine Country has been too long neglected by
Europeans. In manners and civilization it much resembles France, and
will soon emulate our virtues. Already does the Torrid Zone glow
with the ardour of Freedom. Already has the Altar of Liberty been
reared in the _Caffrarian_ and _Equinoctial Republics_. Their
regenerated inhabitants have sworn eternal amity to us at a Civic
Feast, to which a detachment of our Army was invited. This memorable
day would have terminated with the utmost harmony, if the CAFFRARIAN
COUNCIL of ANCIENTS had not devoured the greatest part of General
Desaix’s État-Major for their supper. I hope our Ambassador will be
instructed to require that Civic Feasts of this nature be omitted
for the future. The Directory of the _Equinoctial Republic_ regret
that the scarcity of British Cloth in Africa, and the great heat of
the climate, prevent them from adopting our _costume_.

“We hope soon to liberate the _Hottentots_, and to drive the
perfidious _English_ from the extremities of Africa and of Europe.
_Asia_, too, will soon be free. The three-coloured flag floats on
the summit of Caucasus; the _Tigrine Republic_ is established; the
_Cis_ and _Trans-Euphratean Conventions_ are assembled; and soon
shall _Arabia_, under the mild influence of _French Principles_,
resume her ancient appellation, and be again denominated ‘the
HAPPY’.

“In the course of the next Decade I shall sail to the Canal which is
now cutting across the _Isthmus of Suez_. The Polytechnic School and
Corps of Geographical Engineers are employed in devising means for
conveying my heavy artillery across the great Desert. Soon shall
_India_ hail us as her Deliverers, and those proud islanders, the
_Tyrants of Calcutta_, fall before the _Heroes of Arcola_.

“The Members of the National Institute who accompanied the Squadron
to Egypt, have made a large collection of Antiquities for the use of
the Republic. Among the scattered remains of the Alexandrine
Library, they have found a curious Treatise, in Arabic, respecting
_Camels_, from which it appears that Human Beings, by proper
treatment, may, like those useful animals, be trained to support
thirst and hunger without complaining. Many reams of papyrus have
been collected, as it is thought that during the present scarcity of
linen and old rags in France, it may answer all the purposes of
paper. CLEOPATRA’S celebrated Obelisk has been shipped on board the
Admiral’s Ship _L’Orient_, cidevant _Sans Culottes_: Another
man-of-war has been freighted with the _Sphinx_, which our Engineers
removed from _Grand Cairo_, and which, I trust, will be thought a
proper ornament for the Hall of Audience of the Directory.—The cage
in which BAJAZET was confined, has been long preserved at _Bassora_;
it will be transmitted to Paris as a proper model for a new _Cayenne
Diligence_.—I beg leave to present to the Director MERLIN, a very
curious book, bound in Morocco leather, from Algiers. It is finely
illuminated with gold; and contains lists of the various fees
usually received by Deys and their Ministers from Foreign
Ambassadors. A broken Column will be sent from _Carthage_. It
records the downfall of that Commercial City; and is sufficiently
large for an Inscription (if the Directory should think proper to
place it on the Banks of the _Thames_), to inform posterity that it
marks the spot where _London once stood_.

“Health and Respect,
“BUONAPARTÉ.”

No. XXXIV.

July 2, 1798.

ODE TO A JACOBIN.
FROM SUCKLING’S ODE TO A LOVER.

I.

UNCHRISTIAN JACOBIN whoever,
If, of thy God thou cherish ever
One wavering thought; if e’er HIS word
Has from one crime thy soul deterr’d,—
Know this,
Thou think’st amiss;
And to think true,
Thou must renounce Him all, and think anew.

II.

If, startled at the _guillotine_,
Trembling thou touch the dread machine;
If, leading sainted Louis to it,
Thy steps drew back, thy heart did rue it,—
Know this,
Thou think’st amiss;
And to think true,
Must rise ’bove weak remorse, and think anew.

III.

If, callous, thou dost not mistake,
And murder for mild Mercy’s sake;
And think thou followest Pity’s call,
When slaughtered thousands round thee fall,—
Know this,
Thou think’st amiss;
And to think true,
Must conquer prejudice, and think anew.

IV.

If, when good men are to be slain,
Thou hear’st them plead, nor plead in vain;
Or, when thou answerest, if it be
With one jot of humanity,—
Know this,
Thou think’st amiss;
And to think true,
Must pardon leave to fools, and think anew.

V.

If, when all kings, priests, nobles hated,
Lie headless, thy revenge is sated,
Nor thirsts to load the reeking block
With heads from thine own murd’rous flock,—
Know this,
Thou think’st amiss;
And to think true,
Thou must go on in blood, and think anew.

VI.

If, thus, by love of executions,
Thou provest thee fit for revolutions;
Yet one achieved, to _that_ art true,
Nor wouldst begin to change anew,—
Know this,
Thou think’st amiss;
Deem, to think true,
All constitutions bad, but those bran new.

[The preceding “ODE TO A JACOBIN” is parodied from the following

ODE TO A LOVER,

BY SIR JOHN SUCKLING.

I.

Honest lover whosoever,
If in all thy love was ever
One wav’ring thought; if e’er thy flame
Were not still even, still the same,—
Know this,
Thou lov’st amiss;
And to love true,
Thou must begin again, and love anew.

II.

If, when she appears i’ th’ room,
Thou dost not quake, and art struck dumb;
And, in striving this to cover,
Dost not speak thy words twice over,—
Know this,
Thou lov’st amiss;
And to love true,
Thou must begin again, and love anew.

III.

If, fondly, thou dost not mistake,
And all defects for graces take,
Persuad’st thyself that jests are broken,
When she has little or nothing spoken,—
Know this,
Thou lov’st amiss;
And to love true,
Thou must begin again, and love anew.

IV.

If, when thou appear’st to be within,
Thou let’st not men ask and ask again;
And when thou answer’st, if it be
To what was ask’d thee, properly,—
Know this,
Thou lov’st amiss;
And to love true,
Thou must begin again, and love anew.

V.

If, when thy stomach calls to eat,
Thou cut’st not fingers ’stead of meat;
And with much gazing on her face,
Dost not rise hungry from the place,—
Know this,
Thou lov’st amiss;
And to love true,
Thou must begin again, and love anew.

VI.

If, by this thou dost discover
That thou art no perfect lover;
And desiring to love true,
Thou dost begin to love anew,—
Know this,
Thou lov’st amiss;
And to love true,
Thou must begin again, and love anew.—ED.]

No. XXXV.

July 9, 1798.

The following popular song is said to be in great vogue among the loyal troops in the North of Ireland. The air and the turn of the composition are highly original. It is attributed (as our correspondent informs us) to a fifer in the Drumballyroney Volunteers.

BALLYNAHINCH.[300]
A NEW SONG.

I.

A certain great Statesman[301] whom all of us know,
In a certain assembly, no long while ago,
Declared from this maxim he never would flinch,
“That no town was so _loyal_ as Ballynahinch”.

II.

The great statesman, it seems, had perused all their faces,
And been mightily struck with their loyal grimaces;
While each townsman had sung, like a throstle or finch,
“We are all of us _loyal_ at Ballynahinch”.

III.

The great statesman return’d to his speeches and readings;
And the Ballynahinchers resumed their proceedings;
They had most of them sworn, “_We’ll be true to the Frinch_,”[302]
So _loyal_ a town was this Ballynahinch!

IV.

Determined their landlord’s fine words to make good,
They hid pikes in his haggard, cut staves in his wood;
And attack’d the king’s troops—the assertion to clinch,
That no town is so _loyal_ as Ballynahinch.

V.

O! had we but trusted the _rebels’_ professions,
Met their cannon with smiles, and their pikes with concessions;
Tho’ they still took an _ell_ when we gave them an _inch_,
They would all have been _loyal_—like Ballynahinch.

VIRI ERUDITI,

Si vobis hocce poematium, de navali laude Britanniæ, paucis annis ante conscriptum, nuperrimè recensitum atque emendatum, forté arrideat, quærite in proximis vestris tabulis locum quendam secretum atque securum, ubi repositum suâ sorte perfruatur. Quod si in me hanc gratiam contuleritis, devinctus vobis ero et astrictus beneficio.

ETONENSIS.

DE NAVALI LAUDE BRITANNIÆ.

Successu si freta brevi, fatisque secundis,
Europæ sub pace vetet requiescere gentes,
Inque dies ruat ulteriús furialibus armis
GALLIA, tota instans à sedibus eruere imis
Fundamenta, quibus cultæ Commercia vitæ
Firmant se subnixa;—tuisne, BRITANNIA, regnis
Ecquid ab hoste times; dum te tua saxa tuentur,
Dum pelagus te vorticibus spumantibus ambit?

Tu medio stabilita mari, atque ingentibus undis
Cincta sedes; nec tu angusto, Vulcania tanquam
Trinacris, interclusa sinu; nec faucibus arctis
Septa freti brevis, impositisque coercita claustris.
Liberiora Tibi spatia, et porrecta sine ullo
Limite regna patent (quanto neque maxima quondam
Carthago, aut Phœnissa Tyros, ditissima tellus
Floruit imperio) confiniaque ultima mundi.

Ergone formidabis adhuc, ne se inferat olim,
Et campis impuné tuis superingruat hostis?
Usque adeone parúm est, quod laté litora cernas
Præruptisturrita jugis, protentaque longo
Circuitu, et tutos passim præbentia portus?
Præsertim australes ad aquas, Damnoniaque arva,
Aut ubi Vecta viret, secessusque insula fidos
Efficit objectu laterum; saxosave Dubris
Velivolum laté pelagus, camposque liquentes
Aeria, adversasque aspectat desuper oras.

Nec levibus sanè auguriis, aut omine nullo
Auguror hinc fore perpetuum per secula nomen:
Dum nautis tam firma tuis, tam prodiga vitæ
Pectora, inexpletâ succensa cupidine famæ,
Nec turpi flectenda metu; dum maxima quercus,
Majestate excelsa suâ, atque ingentibus umbris,
Erigitur, vasto nodosa atque aspera trunco;
Silvarum regina. Hæc formidabilis olim
Noctem inter mediam nimborum, hyemesque sonantes,
Ardua se attollit super æquora; quam neque fluctûs
Spumosi attenuat furor, aut violentia venti
Frangere, et in medio potis est disrumpere ponto.

Viribus his innixa, saloque accincta frementi,
Tu media inter bella sedes; ignara malorum,
Quæ tolerant obsessæ urbes, cúm jam hostica clausas
Fulminat ad portas acies, vallataque circúm
Castra locat, sævisque aditus circumsidet armis.

Talia sunt tibi perpetuæ fundamina famæ,
Ante alias diis cara, BRITANNIA! Prælia cerno
Inclyta, perpetuos testes quid maxima victrix,
Quid possis preclara tuo, maris arbitra, ponto.

Hæc inter, sanctas æternâ laude calendas
Servandas recolo, quibus illa, immane minata
Gentibus excidium, totum grassata per orbem
Ausaque jam imperiis intactum amplectier æquor,
Illa odiis lymphata, et libertate recenti
GALLIA, disjectam ferali funere classem
Indoluit devicta, et non reparabile vulnus.
Tempore quo instructas vidit longo ordine puppes
Rostratâ certare acie, et concurrere ad arma,
Ætheraque impulsu tremere, Uxantisque per undas
Lugubre lumen agi, atque rubentem fulgere fumum.

Cerno triumphatas acies, quo tempore IBERÛM
Disjectos fastus, lacerisque aplustria velis
Horruit Oceanus:—quali formidine Gades
Intremere, ut fractâ classem se mole moventem
Hospitium petere, et portus videre relictos!

Quid referam, nobis quæ nuper adorea risit,
Te rursús superante, die quo decolor ibat
Sanguine BELGARUM Rhenus, fluctusque minores
Volvebat, frustra indignans polluta cruore
Ostia, et Angliaco tremefactas fulmine rupes.

Cerno pias ædes procúl, et regalia quondam
Atria, cæruleis quæ preterlabitur undis
Velivolus Thamesis; materno ubi denique nautas
Excipis amplexu, virtus quoscumque virilis
Per pelagi impulerit discrimina, quælibet ausos
Pro Patriâ. Híc rude donantur, dulcique senescunt
Hospitio emeriti, placidâque quiete potiti
Vulnera præteritos jactant testantia casus.

Macte ideó decus Oceani! macte omne per ævum
Victrix, æquoreo stabilita BRITANNIA regno!
Litoribusque tuis ne propugnacula tantúm
Præsidio fore, nec saxi munimina credas,
Nec tantúm quæ mille acies in utrumque parantur,
Aut patriam tutari, aut non superesse cadenti;
Invictæ quantúm metuenda tonitrua CLASSIS,
Angliacæ CLASSIS;—quæ majestate verendâ
Ultrix, inconcussa, diú dominabitur orbi,
Hostibus invidiosa tuis, et sæpe triumphis
Nobilitata novis, pelagi Regina subacti.

[TRANSLATION OF THE PRECEDING POEM.[303]

By the late A. F. Westmacott, Esq.

MEN OF LEARNING,

If by chance the following little poem, on the naval glory of
Britain, written a few years since, and very lately revised and
corrected, please you, look in your nearest tablets for some private
and secure place, where it may be placed to enjoy its good fortune.
Should you confer on me this favour, I shall be bound to you by the
obligation of your kindness.

ETONIAN.

ON THE NAVAL GLORY OF BRITAIN.

If buoy’d by short success and fav’ring chance,
Wide Europe’s peace-destroyer, restless France,
Each day still onward rush with fresh alarms,
And threaten ruin with her furious arms;
Ruin to all whereon is based the throne
That life’s sweet charities have made their own;
Fearest thou, Britain, for thy rock-girt realm,
With seas that foam around and whirlpools to o’erwhelm?

Still in the midst of ocean firmly placed,
Circled by mighty waves thy seat is based!
Not by a strait enclosed, as that fair soil
Where Fabled Vulcan plies his fiery toil;
Within no narrow bay thy waters roll,
No yawning gulf, no barrier rocks control.
Wider thy space, thy realm no limit knows,
Not Tyre so rich, not Tyrian Carthage rose.
Wilt thou yet fear, lest here the haughty foe,
Thy fields o’er-run, and still unpunished go!
Is it then nought to view th’ extended strand
O’er which stern crags like beetling turrets stand,
And countless ports in safe embrace expand?
Look to thy southern waves, to Devon’s fields,
Or where green Vectis[304] trusty harbour yields,
Spreading her friendly arms; or Dover’s height
Looks on the sea with widespread canvas white,
And, perched on high, the liquid plain surveys,
And adverse cliffs that bound the wat’ry ways.

Not by vague augury, nor omen slight,
I view thy name through endless ages bright;
While thy firm crews still prodigal of life
Insatiate burn for fame and dare the strife.
No coward fear they know, while stands erect
The mighty oak with boughs umbrageous decked;
Majestic, high, with knotted trunk, the Queen
Of woods! Hereafter, o’er the waters seen
’Mid the dim midnight of the sounding storm
Aloft ’twill rear the terrors of its form;
In vain the roaring surges round it break,
In vain the winds their uncurbed vengeance wreak,
Throned on such pow’rs, surrounded by the sea,
The circling waves have scarce one fear for thee.
Thou know’st not ills that towns besieged await,
When hostile columns thunder at the gate;
Pitch their dread camp with fatal ramparts round,
And with fierce arms enclose the leaguered ground.

Such is to thee the base of lasting fame,
To Heav’n Britannia still the dearest name!
Gladly I view the glories of the fight,
Perpetual witnesses of deathless might,
To show, bright conqueress, nations yet to be,
What dared, what did the mistress of the sea.

’Mid these the day with praise eternal blest
Earns memory’s tribute most, when, direful pest,
Denouncing ruin to the world, while she
Dared grasp the sceptre of the unconquer’d sea,
Wild with new license, mad with hatred’s heat
France, grieved and humbled, viewed her ruined fleet!
Saw how all hopes one fatal wound could mar
When well-manned squadrons armed their prows for war!
When the sky trembled, and o’er Ushant’s tide
Red glared the smoke and sickly light supplied.

I see the conquered lines, what time proud Spain
With tattered sailcloths thickly strewed the main;
How Cadiz quailed when back the shattered fleet
Sought, in the port it left, a safe retreat.
Why should I tell what smile of Vict’ry beamed,
When Rhine’s fair wave with Belgic slaughter gleamed;
When humbled waters tow’rds the sea it sped,
Mad that its mouths with native blood were red,
While England’s thunders rolled above its rocky bed?

I see afar the domes that crown the tide,
Where Thames uncounted sails in triumph glide:
Here, the brave souls whom manly courage drove
Through the deep’s perils in a holy love
Of country, find in thy maternal breast
Their toil rewarded and their daring blest!
Dismissed at length from duty nobly done
They wane in quiet ’neath the noontide sun,
Recal the dangers of their byegone wars,
And boast appealing to their manhood’s scars.

On in thy race of glory, conqueress, on!
For every age thy sea-girt realm is won!
Think not the fortress which thy shores uprear,
Nor thy rock bulwarks shall inspire such fear,
Nor the brave thousands who obey thy call,
With thee to rise, or not survive thy fall,
As the dread thunders of that untamed host:
Thy fleet, Britannia, is thy proudest boast;
Awful, majestic, firm; its flag unfurl’d
Shall long wave lordly o’er the conquered world;
Hateful to foes for triumphs yet to be,
The rightful Sovereign of the subject sea.—ED.]

No. XXXVI.[305]

MONDAY, July 9, 1798.

_We shall miss thee;
But yet thou shalt have freedom—
—So! to the Elements
Be free, and fare thou well._
—THE TEMPEST.

We have now completed our Engagement with the Public. The ANTI-JACOBIN has been conducted to the close of the Session in strict conformity with the Principles upon which it was first undertaken.

Its reception with the Public has been highly favourable:—it certainly has been out of proportion to any merit which has appeared in the execution of the Work. This is not said in the mere cant of Authorship. We are sensible that much of our success has been owing to the improved state of the Public mind;—an improvement existing from other causes, and to which, if We have in any degree contributed, it has in return operated to our advantage, by a reaction more than equal to any impression which our exertions could have produced. There is, however, one species of merit to which We lay claim without hesitation:—We mean that of the Spirit and Principles upon which We have acted. That Spirit, We trust We shall leave behind us. The SPELL of _Jacobin invulnerability_ is now broken.[306]

We know from better authority than that of CAMILLE JORDAN, that one of our Daily Papers was, _early_ in the French Revolution, purchased by France, and devoted to the dissemination of tenets, which, at the period to which We allude, seemed necessary to the success of the Ruling Party.

For some time matters went on swimmingly. The Editors of the favoured Prints divided their time and their attention between _London_ and _Paris_; and the superiority of the governing Party in France, over its Opponents, was as duly, and as strenuously maintained in the English Papers, as in the “_Journal du Père de Chène_,”[307] “_Journal par L’Ami du Peuple_,”[308] or any other Journal that issued from the Presses of the Jacobin Society.

As the principles of the Revolution, however, acquired consistency in France, the struggle between the Governing Party and its Opponents became an object of less moment, and the Jacobins had leisure, as they long had had inclination, to turn their views to this Country.

A State, enjoying under a Government which they had proscribed as utterly incapable of producing either, as much freedom and happiness as comport with the nature of Man, was too bitter a satire on the decision of these new SOLONS, to be regarded with patience; and the pens which had been so industriously employed in celebrating the plunderers and perturbators of France, were now engaged in the benevolent design of recommending their principles, and their plans of ameliorating the condition of the human race by Atheism and Plunder, to the serious notice of the People of _Great Britain_.

Affairs seemed rapidly hastening to a crisis: _France_ saw with delight the numbers seduced by the sophistry of her Writers, and by the alluring prospects of proscription and plunder; and her Agents, who snuffed the scent of blood like Vultures, already anticipated the Revolution which they now believed inevitable; when the Ministry, who had viewed the progress of the evil with an anxious but unterrified eye, roused themselves into unexampled energy, and called on the Nation to rally round the Constitution which they had received from their Forefathers.

The call was gloriously answered;—Thousands and tens of thousands sprung forth in its defence; and the barbarous hordes which so lately threatened its destruction, overawed by their numbers, shrunk from the contest without a struggle, and vanished from the field.

But the nature of a Jacobin is restless. His hatred of all subordination is unbounded, and his thirst of plunder and blood urgent and insatiable. In arms he found himself infinitely too weak to obtain his purpose; he must, therefore, have recourse again to artifice; and by fallacies and lies, endeavoured to subvert and betray the judgment of those he could not openly hope to subdue.

For this purpose, the Press was engaged, and almost monopolized in all its branches: Reviews, Registers, Monthly Magazines, and Morning and Evening Prints, sprung forth in abundance.

Of these last (the only Publications with which We have any immediate concern), it is not too much to say, that they have laboured in the cause of infamy, with a perseverance which no sense of shame could repress, and no dread of punishment overcome. The objects committed to their charge were multifarious. They were to revile all Religions, but particularly the Christian, whose DIVINE FOUNDER was to be blasphemously compared to _Bacchus_, and represented as equally ideal, or, if real, more bestial and besotted! They were to magnify the power of _France_, on all occasions; to deny her murders; to palliate her robberies; to suppress all mention of her miseries, and to hold her forth to the unenlightened Englishman as the mirror of justice, and truth, and generosity, and meekness, and humanity, and moderation, and tender forbearance:—and, on the other hand, they were to depreciate the spirit, and the courage, and the resources of _England_: they were to impede, if possible, and if not, to ridicule and revile, every measure which the honour, the prosperity, or the safety of the Country might imperiously require; they were to represent the Government as insidiously aiming to enslave the Nation, by every attempt to maintain its Independence; and the majority of both Houses, the great body of Proprietors, as anxious to scatter and confound that wealth, which _their_ Patrons alone, the respectable sweepings of _Craven-House_, and the _Crown_ and _Anchor_ Tavern, were solicitous to augment and preserve.

These, our readers will allow, were no common objects, and if they have looked into the _Morning Chronicle_, _Morning Post_, and _Courier_ Journals to which our attention has been chiefly directed, they must have seen that their attainment was sought by no common means; by an _invariable_ course of Falsehood and Misrepresentation—such, at least, was our idea on the first perusal of these Papers, an idea which every succeeding one served to strengthen and confirm.

To detect and expose this Falsehood, and to correct this Misrepresentation, became at length an object of indispensable necessity: a variety of applications of the most malignant nature had obtained currency and credit, from the unblushing impudence with which they were first obtruded on the Public by the Agents of Sedition, and the apathy with which they were suffered to pass uncontradicted by those who despised them for their atrocity, or ridiculed them for their folly:—these were unfortunately operating on the less enlightened part of the Nation; and it was from a full conviction of the pernicious effects they were calculated to produce, that we finally determined to step forth (after patiently waiting to see whether the business would not be taken up by abler hands), and to oppose such antidotes to the evil, as a regard for truth, and a sincere love and veneration for the Constitution under which we have flourished for ages, could supply.

How we have succeeded must be left to the judgment of the Public. If we might venture, indeed, to conjecture from the support which we have experienced, the result would be flattering in an unusual degree. Three complete Editions of our Paper (a circumstance, we believe, as yet without a precedent) have been disposed of, and the demand for them still increases.

But the motives of Profit, as will readily, we believe, be granted to us, have little influence on our minds: we contemplate the extensive circulation of our Paper with pleasure, solely from the consideration of the VAST NUMBERS of our Countrymen whom we have fortified by our animadversions against the profligate attacks of the Agents of Sedition, whether furnished by the _Whig Club_, the _Corresponding Society_, or the _Directory of France_.

Calculation was not originally our delight. Nor was it till after we saw the wonderful effects which it produced in the pages of the Jacobinical Arithmeticians that we were tempted to adopt it. Our first Essay, however, was crowned with the most complete success. In our Seventh Number, we gave (still following the laudable example of the Jacobins, who, when a Ship is to be fitted out, or a Regiment raised, for the purpose of defending our Country from an insolent and barbarous foe, nicely calculate how many idle mouths might be fed by the sums required)—We gave, we say, as accurate a statement as we could form, of the number of People that might be supplied with wholesome food for one day, by the SURCHARGE levied on the DUKE OF BEDFORD—a statement which, we are happy to add, placed the matter in so clear a light that we have since had no occasion to repeat it.

Our Readers will not _now_ be surprised if we again have recourse to _Calculation_ to prove the advantages which (we love to flatter ourselves) have been derived from our Paper. Our Sale (to say nothing of the new Editions which have been disposed of) has regularly amounted to _Two Thousand Five Hundred_ a week; on an average of several Papers, we find the Lies which have been detected to amount to _six_, and the Misrepresentations and Mistakes to _an equal number_. This furnishes a total of _twelve_, which, multiplied by _thirty-five_, the number of the last ANTI-JACOBIN, gives a total of _four hundred and twenty_.

If we now take the number of Subscribers (2500) and multiply them by seven, a number of which every one’s family may be reasonably supposed to consist, we shall have a product of 17,500; but as many of these have made a practice, which we highly approve, and cannot too earnestly recommend, of lending our Papers to their poorer Neighbours, We must make our addition to the sum which We evidently take too low at 32,500. We have thus an aggregate of 50,000 People, a most respectable minority of the Readers of the whole Kingdom, who have been put effectually on their guard, by our humble though earnest endeavours, against the artifices of the seditious, and the more open attacks of the profligate and abandoned Foes of their Constitution, their Country, and their God.

Further, if we multiply 50,000, the number of Readers, by 420, the exact number of Falsehoods detected—say 500—for We ought to take in bye-blows, and odd refutations in notes, &c.—the total of Twenty-five Millions will represent the aggregate of Falsehood which We have sent out of the World.

We have more than once repeated that we entered upon this part of our task, not from any vain hope of convincing the Writers themselves. We knew this to be impossible; the forehead of a _Jacobin_, like the shield of AJAX, is formed of seven bull-hides, and utterly incapable of any impression of shame or remorse—but we are convinced that we have rescued, as we stated above, Fifty Thousand persons from their machinations, and taught them not only a salutary distrust, but a contempt and disbelief, of every laboured article which appears in the Papers of this description.

Nor can We be accused of presumption in this declaration, when it is considered that the conviction on which We so confidently rely is not the effect of a _solitary_ impression on our Readers’ minds, but of one four hundred and twenty times repeated (this being the fair amount of the number of Lies, &c., We have detected)—an agglomeration of impulse which no prejudice could resist and no preconceived partialities weaken or remove.

Here then We rest. We trust We have “done the State some service”;—We have driven the Jacobins from many strongholds to which they most tenaciously held.[309] We have exposed their Principles, detected their Motives, weakened their Authority, and overthrown their Credit. We have shewn them in every instance, ignorant, and designing, and false, and wicked, and turbulent, and anarchical—various in their language, but united in their plans, and steadily pursuing through hatred and contempt, the destruction of their Country.

With this impression on the Minds of our Readers WE TAKE OUR LEAVE of them. Their welfare is in their own hands; if they suffer the Jacobins to regain any of the influence of which We have deprived them, they will compromise their own Safety; but WE shall be blameless—_Liberavimus animas nostras_.—WE HAVE DONE OUR DUTY.

POETRY.

_New Morality._

From mental mists to purge a nation’s eyes; To animate the weak, unite the wise; To trace the deep infection that pervades The crowded town, and taints the rural shades; To mark how wide extends the mighty waste O’er the fair realms of Science, Learning, Taste; To drive and scatter all the brood of lies, And chase the varying falsehood as it flies; The long arrears of ridicule to pay, To drag reluctant dulness back to day; 10 Much yet remains.—To you these themes belong, Ye favoured sons of virtue and of song!

Say, is the field too narrow? are the times
Barren of folly, and devoid of crimes?

Yet, venial vices, in a milder age, Could rouse the warmth of POPE’S satiric rage: The doating miser, and the lavish heir, The follies and the foibles of the fair, Sir Job, Sir Balaam, and old Euclio’s thrift, And Sappho’s diamonds with her dirty shift, 20 Blunt, Charteris, Hopkins,—meaner subjects fired The keen-eyed Poet; while the Muse inspired Her ardent child—entwining, as he sate, His laurel’d chaplet with the thorns of hate.

But say,—indignant does the Muse retire, Her shrine deserted, and extinct its fire? No pious hand to feed the sacred flame, No raptured soul a poet’s charge to claim?

Bethink thee, GIFFORD; when some future age Shall trace the promise of thy playful page;— 30 “[310]The hand which brushed a swarm of fools away Should rouse to grasp a more reluctant prey!”— Think then, will pleaded indolence excuse The tame secession of thy languid Muse?

Ah! where is now that promise? why so long Sleep the keen shafts of satire and of song? Oh! come, with taste and virtue at thy side, With ardent zeal inflamed, and patriot pride; With keen poetic glance direct the blow, And empty all thy quiver on the foe:— 40 No pause—no rest—till weltering on the ground The poisonous hydra lies, and pierced with many a wound.