Chapter I

_PUNCH_ CARTOONS

_of the_

GREAT WAR

_NEW YORK : : : MCMXV GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY_

CONTENTS

Page

The Days Preceding the War 7

The Struggle 39

Uncle Sam 93

The Comedies of the Great Tragedy 105

Women and Children First 135

The New Rake's Progress--Unser Kaiser 151

The Raider 173

The Unspeakable Turk 181

Italia! 207

THE DAYS PRECEDING THE WAR

Dædalus Bismarck (_Political Parent of_ Wilhelm Icarus).

"My son, observe the middle path to fly,
And fear to sink too low, or rise too high.
Here the sun melts, there vapours damp your force,
Between the two extremes direct your course.

"Nor on the bear, nor on boötes gaze,
Nor on sword-arm'd orion's dangerous rays:
But follow me, thy guide, with watchful sight,
And, as I steer, direct thy cautious Flight."

OVID, _"Metamorphoses," Book VIII., Fable III._

October 6, 1888.

(Twenty-five years after "Dropping the Pilot.")

Ghost of the Old Pilot. "I Wonder if He Would Drop Me _NOW_!"

(April 1st is the hundredth anniversary of BISMARCK'S birth.)

March 31, 1915.]

Chorus in the Stern. "Don't Go On Like That--or You'll Upset Us All!!"

May 10, 1890.]

Chorus (_Everybody_). "Everything in Order Everywhere! O! What a
Surprise! Sold Again!"

January 20, 1893.]

"With ravished ears,
The Monarch hears,
Assumes the God,
Affects to nod,
And seems to shake the spheres!"

March 5, 1892.

(_Up-to-date version of "Struwwelpeter."_)]

"Let me see if Wilhelm can
Be a little gentleman;
Let me see if he is able
To sit still for once at table!"

"But fidgety Will
He won't sit still."

Just like any bucking horse.
"Wilhelm! We are getting cross!"

February 1, 1896.

IMPERIAL "MANAGER-ACTOR" (_who has cast himself for a leading part in "Un Voyage en Chine," sotto voce_).

"Um--Ha! With just a few additional touches here and there, I shall make a first-rate Emperor of China!"

January 15, 1898.]

(_Tangier, March 31._)

KAISER WILHELM (_as the Moor of Potsdam_) _sings_:--

"'Unter den Linden'--always at Home,
'Under the Lime-light' wherever I roam!"

April 5, 1905.]

IMPERIAL KNIGHT TEMPLAR (_the German Emperor--to_ SALADIN). "What!! The Christian Powers putting pressure upon You, my dear Friend!! Horrible! I can't think how People can do such things!"

October 15, 1898.]

SCENE--_On shore, during the visit of the British Fleet to Brest._

MR. PUNCH (_Photographer, suavely, to the_ KAISER). "Just a leetle further back, please, Sir. Your shadow still rather interferes with the group."

July 12, 1905.]

(After Millais)

August 23, 1905.]

PEACE (_attending the Inter-Parliamentary Congress at Berlin_). "Everybody else seems to be my friend; why do you stand aloof?"

GERMAN KAISER. "But haven't I always said that I was your friend?"

PEACE. "Yes; but can't you do something to prove it?"

September 23, 1908.]

GERMAN KAISER. "Good Bird!"

October 5, 1910.]

[THE GERMAN EMPEROR _has been patronising the Centenary of_ KRUPP'S _Gun Factory_]

August 14, 1912.
]

GERMAN OFFICER: "Glad to hear you're going to fortify your sea-front. Very dangerous people, these English."

DUTCHMAN: "But it will cost much."

GERMAN OFFICER: "Ah, but see what you save on the Eastern Frontier, where there's nobody but us."

January 11, 1911.]

THE STRUGGLE

GREAT BRITAIN JOINS HER ALLIES IN THE FIELD

August 19, 1914.]

August 12, 1914.]

August 12, 1914.]

LIBERTY (_to Belgium_). "TAKE COMFORT. YOUR COURAGE IS VINDICATED; YOUR WRONGS SHALL BE AVENGED."

September 2, 1914.]

September 9, 1914.]

September 16, 1914.]

GENERAL BOTHA (_composing telegram to the_ KAISER). "Just off to repel another raid. Your customary wire of congratulation should be addressed: 'British Headquarters--German South-west Africa.'"

September 30, 1914.]

(_To the tune of "Tipperary."_)

JACK. "IT'S A LONG, LONG WAIT FOR WILLIAM'S NAVY, BUT MY HEART'S RIGHT HERE"

October 14, 1914.]

October 7, 1914.]

THE KAISER. "SO, YOU SEE--YOU'VE LOST EVERYTHING."

THE KING OF THE BELGIANS. "NOT MY SOUL."

October 21, 1914.]

BRITANNIA (_to Holland_). "MY RESOURCES AND MY OBLIGATIONS ARE GREATER THAN YOURS; LET THIS SERVICE FALL UPON ME."

[The number of Belgian refugees in Holland is probably ten times as great as the number in England.]

October 28, 1914.]

ZEPPELIN (_as "The Fat Boy"_). "'I WANTS TO MAKE YOUR FLESH CREEP.'"

JOHN BULL. "RIGHT-O!"

November 4, 1914.]

SCENE: Ticket Office at ---- (_censored_).

Tripper Wilhelm. "FIRST CLASS TO PARIS." Clerk. "LINE BLOCKED."

Wilhelm. "THEN MAKE IT WARSAW." Clerk. "LINE BLOCKED."

Wilhelm. "WELL, WHAT ABOUT CALAIS?" Clerk. "LINE BLOCKED."

Wilhelm. "HANG IT! I _MUST GO SOMEWHERE_! I PROMISED MY PEOPLE I WOULD."

November 4, 1914.]

KAISER (_reviving old Music-hall refrain_). "HAS ANYBODY HERE SEEN _CALAIS_?"

November 18, 1914.]

A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK

November 18, 1914.]

Grand Duke Nicholas. "ÇA MARCHE?"

General Joffre. "ASSEZ BIEN. ET CHEZ VOUS?"

Grand Duke. "PAS MAL."

December 2, 1914.]

"Tommy" (_having learned the language_). "VIVE LE ROI!"

December 9, 1914.]

Crown Prince. "THIS OUGHT TO MAKE FATHER LAUGH!"

[In an alleged interview the CROWN PRINCE is reported to have said, "As to being a war agitator, I am truly sorry that people don't know me better. There is no 'War Party' in Germany now--nor has there ever been."]

December 9, 1914.]

[With _Mr. Punch's_ compliments to General Botha]

December 16, 1914.]

Austria. "I SAID ALL ALONG THIS WAS GOING TO BE A PUNITIVE EXPEDITION"

December 23, 1914.]

STEINBACH, JANUARY 3, 1915

January 13, 1915.]

Austria (to Rumania). "NOW, BE CAREFUL! REMEMBER WHAT I DID TO SERBIA!"

January 20, 1915.]

A PLACE IN THE SHADOW

February 19, 1915.]

Austria. "HEAVENS! AM I REALLY AS BAD AS THAT? TAKE IT AWAY."

[It seems to be dawning upon Vienna that the armies of Austria have not been consistently victorious.]

April 14, 1915.]

YPRES: APRIL 22-24, 1915

May 5, 1915.]

December 30, 1914.]

UNCLE SAM

Imperial Dachshund. "Here I've been sitting up and doing tricks for the best part of seven weeks, and you take no more notice of me than if----"

Uncle Sam. "Cut it out!"

September 23, 1914.]

British Lion. "Please don't look at me like that, Sam. _YOU_'RE not the eagle I'm up against."

January 6, 1915.]

Imperial Conductor. "Stick to it, Tirpitz; keep on melting their hearts!"

March 31, 1915.]

KAISER (_to America_). "Perhaps it was right to dissemble your love; But why did you kick me downstairs?"

April 21, 1915.]

TEUTON TROUBADOUR (_serenading the fair Columbia_). "If she won't listen to my love-songs, I'll try her with a brick!"

February 17, 1915.]

THE COMEDIES OF THE GREAT TRAGEDY

February 24, 1915.]

August 26, 1914.]

August 26, 1914.]

September 9, 1914.]

[With acknowledgments to Mr. J. C. Dollman.]

September 16, 1914.]

September 23, 1914.]

_Little Miss Holland_. "Thanks; but I'm _NOT_ Little Red Riding Hood, and I don't want any of your fairy stories."

September 23, 1914.]

(_With acknowledgements to the etching by M. Méryon._)

Spirits of evil, when they're thrown
Out of a Church, are turned to stone;

But the above was petrified
Even before he got inside.

October 28, 1914.]

Learning to sing "It's a long, long way to Tipperary" for the purpose of deceiving the Allies.

November 4, 1914.]

WILHELM the PEACEMAKER

Uhlan's Kindness To Belgian Peasant

The Angelus. German Soldier's Reverence At A French Cathedral

German Soldier Carrying Parcels for British Prisoner

German Helping A Wounded British Soldier

German Soldier Serving Tea to Wounded Enemies

German Soldiers Romping with Belgian Children

German Feeding Starving Belgians

A Prussian Court-painter earning an Iron Cross by painting pictures in praise of the Fatherland for neutral consumption

November 11, 1914.]

German soldiers being roused to enthusiasm by the "Hymn of Hate"

December 16, 1914.]

Captain of a German cruiser, hurrying home after shelling health-resort, gives orders to lighten the ship for the sake of speed.

December 23, 1914.]

The Teutonic substitute for Milk

November 11, 1914.]

September 9, 1914.]

December 9, 1914.]

_Turk_. "Yes--often!"

February 10, 1915.]

February 17, 1915.]

The Crown Prince. "I DON'T BELIEVE I WAS MEANT TO WIN BATTLES; I BELIEVE I WAS MEANT TO BE LOVED."

April 28, 1915.]

September 2, 1914.]

September 2, 1914.]

The Kaiser, by gifts of roses, has been trying to ingratiate himself with the Grand Duchess of Luxembourg, whose country he has invaded in defiance of treaty obligations.

January 20, 1915.]

WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST

August 26, 1914.]

STUDY OF A GERMAN GENTLEMAN GOING INTO ACTION

September 9, 1914.]

Captain of the _EMDEN_. "DIRTY WORK!"

December 30, 1914.]

The Emperor. "WHAT! NO BABES, SIRRAH?"

The Murderer. "ALAS! SIRE, NONE."

The Emperor. "WELL, THEN, NO BABES, NO IRON CROSSES."

[Exit murderer, discouraged.]

January 27, 1915.]

March 3, 1915.]

German Submarine Officer. "THIS OUGHT TO MAKE THEM JEALOUS IN THE SISTER SERVICE. BELGIUM SAW NOTHING BETTER THAN THIS."

April 7, 1915.]

Kaiser. "'FAIR IS FOUL, AND FOUL IS FAIR;
HOVER THROUGH THE FOG AND FILTHY AIR.'"

May 5, 1915.]

THE NEW RAKE'S PROGRESS--UNSER KAISER

Wilhelm II. "WHAT IS THIS DISTANT RUMBLING THAT I HEAR? DOUBTLESS THE PLAUDITS OF MY PEOPLE!"

August 26, 1914.]

The Kaiser. "WHO GOES THERE?"

Spirit of Carnage. "A FRIEND--YOUR ONLY ONE."

August 19, 1914.]

Kaiser. "I'M NOT QUITE SATISFIED WITH THE SWORD. PERHAPS, AFTER ALL, THE PEN IS MIGHTIER!"

September 16, 1914.]

Kaiser. "MY POOR BIRD, WHAT _HAS_ HAPPENED TO YOUR TAIL-FEATHERS?"

German Eagle. "CAN YOU BEAR THE TRUTH, SIRE?"

Kaiser. "IF IT'S NOT FOR PUBLICATION."

German Eagle. "IT'S LIKE THIS, THEN. YOU TOLD ME THE BRITISH LION WAS CONTEMPTIBLE. WELL--HE WASN'T!"

September 23, 1914.]

DESIGN FOR A STAINED-GLASS WINDOW IN A NEO-GOTHIC CATHEDRAL AT POTSDAM

September 30, 1914.]

German Press Bureau Photographer. "Costume perfect, Sire--accessories admirable; but, in view of all these 'victories,' dare we suggest that the _EXPRESSION_ might be just a touch more _JUBILANT?_"

October 14, 1914.]

_Scene:_ The Coast of Belgium

The Kaiser. "'WHAT ARE THE WILD WAVES SAYING?'"

Wild Waves. "WE WERE JUST SAYING, 'THUS FAR, AND NO FARTHER!'"

October 28, 1914.]

Aide-de-Camp. "'THE ENGLISH FORCE, SO PLEASE YOU.'"

Kaiser. "'TAKE THY FACE HENCE ... I AM SICK AT HEART.'"

Macbeth, Act V., Sc. 3.

December 2, 1914.]

Kaiser. "Lay it on, my worthy professors--lay it on thick! I want every drop of it."

January 20, 1915.]

The Kaiser. "TO THE DAY----" Death. "----OF RECKONING!"

May 19, 1915.]

THE RAIDER

Kaiser. "WELL, I _AM_ SURPRISED!"

Tirpitz. "SO WERE WE."

February 3, 1915.]

Kaiser. "IS ALL MY HIGH SEAS FLEET SAFELY LOCKED UP?"

Admiral von Tirpitz. "PRACTICALLY ALL, SIRE."

Kaiser. "THEN LET THE STARVATION OF ENGLAND BEGIN!"

February 17, 1915.]

German Bull. "I KNOW I'M MAKING A ROTTEN EXHIBITION OF MYSELF; BUT I SHALL TELL EVERYBODY I WAS GOADED INTO IT."

February 24, 1915.]

THE UNSPEAKABLE TURK

John Bull. "SHOO! SHOO!"

May 9, 1906.]

TURKEY. "Good! if only all those other Christian nations get at one another's throats, I may have a dog's chance yet."

December 4, 1912.]

Dame Europa. "You've always been the most troublesome boy in the school. Now go and consolidate yourself."

Turkey. "Please, ma'am, what does that mean?"

Dame Europa. "It means going into that corner--and stopping there!"

April 2, 1913.]

THE KAISER (_to Turkey, reassuringly_). "Leave everything to me. All you've got to do is to explode."

TURKEY. "Yes, I quite see that. But where shall _I_ be when it's all over?"

November 11, 1914.]

Kaiser. "I say, how are you going to explain away the surrender of your army corps in the Caucasus?"

Sultan of Turkey. "Nothing simpler. I shall say, 'Our gallant troops determined to embarrass the enemy's commissariat, and carried out their object with overwhelming success."

Kaiser. "Splendid! Couldn't have put it better myself."

Sultan. "My dear boy, we were in the business ages and ages before you were thought of."

January 13, 1915.]

(_An Unrehearsed Effect._)

Turkey. "I'm getting a bit fed up with this. I shall kick soon."

Austria. "Well, I was thinking of lying down."

January 6, 1915.]

Turkish Camel. "WHERE TO?"

German Officer. "EGYPT."

Camel. "GUESS AGAIN."

February 10, 1915.]

German Sentry. "WHO GOES THERE?" Turk. "A FRIEND--CURSE YOU!"

January 20, 1915.]

[January 27th]

Emperor of Austria. "NOW WHAT DO WE REALLY WANT TO SAY?"

Sultan of Turkey. "WELL, OF COURSE, WE COULDN'T SAY _THAT_; NOT ON HIS BIRTHDAY."

January 27, 1915.]

March 3, 1915.]

_Turkey._ "I'M GIVING UP THIS BED, WILLIAM. WON'T YOU TAKE MY PLACE?"

April 7, 1915.]

_Oliver Twist,_ Chap. xvi.

(_With apologies to the late Fred Barnard._)

November 4, 1914.]

ITALIA!

All-Highest (_to certain Neutrals_). "ABOUT--TURN!" [They sit tight.]

March 17, 1915.]

Kaiser. "SHOULD YOU WANT SOME MORE FEATHERS, I KNOW A TWO-HEADED EAGLE"

March 24, 1915.]

Prince von Bülow (_to Italy_). "STOP, STOP, SIGNORA! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE _MESMERISED_--NOT _MOBILISED_!"

April 28, 1915.]

May 12, 1915.]

* * * * *

TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES

Minor punctuation errors repaired.

Italic text is denoted by _underscores_

p69 A CHIP OF THE OLD BLOCK has been replaced with
A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK

End of Project Gutenberg's Punch Cartoons of the Great War, by Various